


Déjà vu no Jutsu

by Vixen_Tail



Series: Mesuji Ripples [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Complete, F/M, Gen, M/M, Original Character(s), Realistic, Second Great Shinobi War Era, Self-Insert, Tags Are Hard, The Author Regrets Nothing, Third Great Shinobi War Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-26
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-30 11:54:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 525,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1018305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vixen_Tail/pseuds/Vixen_Tail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Take one dead, thirty year old career soldier, stick in the body of a child during the Second Great Shinobi War. Add a mini-Namikaze Minato, ninjas, chakra, tailed beasts, and shake well. Is it any wonder she thought she was insane?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of Taijutsu and Insanity

**Author's Note:**

> I normally write on fanfiction, but one of my viewers sent me the invite to this site so he could get ebooks of my works, since I gave him permission to do it. So I'm now posting here too.
> 
> Déjà vu no Jutsu came out of a vague idea after a binge of Naruto crossovers, time travel fics, and self-inserts scenarios while I was working my crummy gas station job with little to nothing else to do besides think, which is why it’s just inching over twenty thousand words long. Half a year of thinking about it, nearly fifty pages in 10 point font, right here.
> 
> If you find something wrong with the Japanese, feel free to scream at me. Want to see something especially happen in the story? Let me know, there’s no fixed plot for this. I just want to finish it, and get it far past the baby years for crying out loud, since there really are more unfinished stories like this than completed ones.
> 
> One last thing, the answer to the question posed under this section’s title will be answered in part two. If you don’t like reviewing a story’s grammar or contents, try answering that.
> 
> Edit-12/2/13 A writer on FanFiction, Memory25, has been correcting my rather horrible grammar skills for me. If the story goes from sort of well written to badly run on sentences and rather compact paragraphs, that's why.

_There's a fine line between genius and madness._

_So if you can tell the genius he is mad with little problem, why can't you tell the madman he's genius without awkward questions being asked of your own sanity?_

* * *

Mesuji Natsumi frowned absently at the slightly younger blond kid standing before her. Namikaze Minato flushed lightly under her stare but continued to hold her gaze steadily. She had to give him credit for the guts it took to do that, because not even the caretakers at the orphanage they both lived in could look her in the eye for long without shying away.

Minato had just asked her to help him with his taijutsu, seeing as she was noted as one of the strongest kunoichi in their year. Not that being best in taijutsu in a group of eight or nine-year-old children was any great accomplishment to be boasted of, but Natsumi saw the intelligence in asking a sempai for help instead of trying to do it all alone and possibly screw something major up. However, her reservations about helping the other kid kept her silent as she mulled the request over thoroughly.

The child known as Mesuji Natsumi, orphaned kunoichi trainee of Konohagakure, was a bit of an abnormality. Something the girl herself would freely admit to. Where most children were happy playing games of ninja all day every day, Natsumi preferred either reading under a shady tree somewhere, working out on her own, helping out the caretakers who looked after the fifty other children of varying ages, or running errands for them to get her out of the crowded building. The other children thought she was stuck up because her now dead mother had been a kunoichi and raised her for the first three years of her life.

In truth, Natsumi had a really hard time equating the woman who may have visited her every few weeks for the first hazy days of her life with her mother.

Her differences from the other children could be narrowed down to one actual reason. Natsumi could recall another life that didn't include shinobi or Hidden Villages. She had been a twenty-seven-year-old Staff Sergeant enlisted in the United States Army and she was reasonably certain she had been killed in action after insurgents ambushed her company's patrolling squad. So she was still rather unsure if she was hallucinating being a kid again or not, since she had followed the Naruto manga storyline somewhat past Shippuden but lost interest around the time her unit was gearing up again for another deployment across the pond.

Natsumi knew the kid before her was going to be the Fourth Hokage, who would have a son that he would sacrifice his life to seal the strongest demon of the Elemental Countries into, that she was attending the academy with the next generations' clan leaders scattered through the three years, and that everything seemed to go to hell in a hand basket after three or four generations from her current point in time now.

The question was: What was she doing here at all?

A hesitant shift drew the young 'girl's' attention back to the blond-haired, blue eyed academy student still waiting her response. She figured she had better answer him before he wandered off and she got an even worse reputation for anti-social tendencies.

"…reflexes and speed."

"Aa… what?"

Natsumi's lips twitched at the bewildered expression on her classmate's childish face, then huffed a sigh and explained further. She couldn't get the Yondaime killed by advice before his inauguration and impending death, right?

"Train your reflexes and speed first. Katas are good too, but we're not going to remain this size our entire life. So unless you train with someone that's the same size and is just as good as you, you're not going to get a good feel of a real fight's rhythm just yet. Just concentrate on muscle memory for the moment instead of trying to find a way to keep up with someone who outsizes you, since they won't half a decade down the road… and stamina now that I think about it. Staying power." She shrugged, waving one hand to indicate the small stretch of yard behind her where she had been working out before the other child had interrupted her. "Flexibility is also something you would want to develop now, seeing as it's easier to keep up with than start on it out cold later on."

Minato flushed red in embarrassment, seeing as he had interrupted Natsumi's nightly ritual for his request. Stretches that were nearly an entire exercise regimen in itself. A few girls their age had tried to keep up with Natsumi's routine for a while on their own but they gave up after the first few nights, claiming that no one should be able to do all that every night and still rise with the sun to do another different set. To be honest with himself, he really hadn't expected the odd girl almost half a year older than him to humor his request at all. It was well known that Natsumi couldn't stand many of the kids that lived in the orphanage with them, she would frequently get impatient or annoyed with the attitude most had.

What they all didn't know was that the 'girl' was just following a habit of nightly yoga stretches and early morning calisthenics she had established in another life, just much earlier than she had before.

The blond watched the slightly older girl ponder his proposal a bit more. She wasn't much taller than him, but she had flat, wiry muscles under her dark, earth-toned second hand clothing, and even less baby fat than most other shinobi-in-training. She had a kendo-user's back, steady balance, and was light-footed due to the physical exercise and posture she held herself to. She had her mother's eyes, as per what the caretakers whispered to themselves when they thought the academy kids were too distracted to eavesdrop. A curious, mismatched pair of light blue and green. It gave her a bit of an asymmetrical look from a distance, as if her blue eye was smaller than the other. Her hair was frequently up, either in a bun or a high tail, and it reached the small of her back because the caretakers refused to let her cut it to shoulder length.

She could keep up with a Nara's intellect on occasion, frequently by going off in tangents that Shikaku hadn't gotten around to thinking about yet, and seemed as resigned by the whole academy curriculum as any member of the clan. She could also understand people almost in the same way Inoichi could, but was better at articulating that than the Yamanaka clan heir. She was smart but hated attention, he knew she frequently threw her paper tests and screwed up her own homework to remain comfortably in the middle ranking of their academy class. There were a few rather interesting rumors about who her father could have been, but if she knew Natsumi wasn't talking.

"If you want to join me, you can." Her childishly high voice brought the current Rookie of the Year back to the present sharply. "But I won't go easy on you. You'll have to catch up on your own."

She tapped one finger against her lips and inspected Minato.

"If you do manage to keep up with me, I'll spar with you every evening."

Minato visibly brightened at that. After all, that was what he had been after when he had approached her.

(ooo000ooo)

Minato cursed Natsumi out in the safety of his mind. He cursed her unnatural exercises and her freaky ability to find and correct just about every error he had made in the last two days with all the eloquence of an eight-year-old. Mostly by calling her stupid.

Natsumi's stretches _hurt_. They turned muscles to mush, tendons into overcooked noodles, and left the blond in an exhausted heap that he had to drag into bed once the night was over. The girl herself was completely unapologetic when she dragged him out of his futon and out into the predawn light the next day to do another set of movements, exercises, and katas.

_Better get used to it now than in the middle of a fight where you're out of chakra, injured, and trying to get your scrawny butt back home out of enemy territory._

Minato frowned into his mattress as the trainee kunoichi's favorite encouragement echoed in his head. She was even odder than he had thought. Natsumi had ignored the girls when they tried to copy her habits, but had efficiently taught him to do what she did. He had never seen her teach anyone else, but after thinking about it he chalked it up to her mother's own teachings.

The woman had to have been worse than her. He spent a moment thanking kami that he was only dealing with the child and not the mother.

\V/

Two weeks later, Yamanaka Inoichi finally managed to corner Minato about what he had been doing the lunch break. "You asked Mesuji-san for her help with your taijutsu?"

"How did you know?" Namikaze asked brightly, causing the eavesdropping girl-woman to smirk to herself. She imagined the same smirk was on Minato's face as he played innocent.

"The way you sidestepped that punch this afternoon during practice," the drawl could only belong to the Nara clan heir, Shikaku, the boy who was confused and intrigued by her on a daily basis. "That was just how she does it, but she's more graceful about it. Almost fluid-like. You both caught the instructor's attention with that."

A huff of sheepish embarrassment escaped Minato. "Rub it in, Shika-kun. But I am learning, and Natsumi-sempai hadn't told me to scram yet."

It was said with an edge of wonderment that caught the woman turned girl in surprise. She hadn't been that bad, had she?

"How?" Ah, that had to be one of the Hyūga twins in the year above them. Or maybe the Uchiha heir Fugaku the year above that? Someone with a large stick shoved somewhere uncomfortable with how grated the word had come out. Then again, it couldn't be the younger of the twins, Hizashi, he wasn't as uptight.

"I _asked_ her." Minato sounded _so_ smug about it as he indulged in a bit of childish bragging between friends. Natsumi almost wanted to laugh at the predicable reply, if it wasn't for the curiosity keeping her silent. "She stared at me for a bit, almost if she couldn't understand why. But she did finally give me a few pointers and told me I could join her when she trained in the mornings and evenings." His tone of voice changed from smug to wondering to satisfied, and the girl could almost see it as if the blond kid was standing in front of her. "She also said if I catch up to her, she would spar with me."

"That's… not how the other girls described her." Inoichi mused aloud, almost to himself. He had to be one of the closer ones to the open window she was sitting under. "They told us repeatedly she was standoffish. If that were true, wouldn't she have ignored you?"

There was a splutter, and even before the inhale and high pitched voice, Natsumi just knew it was one of the civilian girls shoved into the academy without proper instruction or warning in the hopes that a kunoichi in the family would increase their social standing. Mei, or Mimi, or something inane like that. "She _is_. You're just being lead along until she decides to be cruel to you, Mina-kun! You should avoid-"

She quickly used the window's edge to haul herself up to sit on the small ledge. True to what she thought, Inoichi was sitting in the desk closer to the window and was the first to spot the kunoichi in question out of the group still lingering in the classroom. A few others scattered around and in position to see her on the sill gave her an unimpressed look for using the window instead of going around to the door.

"You know…" All the first year academy students still in the classroom who hadn't noticed her yet stiffened at her sarcastic drawl, then whipped around to face her. "I find it _fascinating_ that you know me so well when I'm mostly sure I don't even know your name, _girl_."

The soon to be eleven-year-old Uchiha Fugaku had been the one to question Minato's effort, not either of the nine-year-old Hyūgas. Then again, if one of the twins had been present, Natsumi was sure she wouldn't have been able to eavesdrop without difficulty. Damn that clan _and_ their all-seeing eyes.

Mei, or Mimi, started to splutter again, an embarrassed flush rising up her pale, chubby cheeks. "I know you, alright. You're a mean little girl with no talent."

"Yeah!" Another girl came up to Mei's, or Mimi's, shoulder and sneered with all the weight of her eight years. "Shut up, weird eyes! Stop bothering Kyoko-chan."

Natsumi raised one eyebrow in the face of the insults, bemused at the shallow attempts of bullying.

"Really." She deadpanned, looking the two wannabe kunoichi over, less than impressed with their name calling. "… I thought her name was Mei. Or Mimi."

Ignoring the flush of rage going up Kyoko's face, the appalled expression on her friend, the snickering from Inoichi, and the ever placid Chouza's amused expression; Natsumi tapped one calloused finger against her lips.

"I really can't recall meeting the two of you. Care to explain?" She drawled out with all the commanding edge from another life spent barking orders to unruly soldiers.

Kyoko squeaked, actually squeaked, and dropped a cringing Minato's arm like she had been burned. The blond kid took no time in repositioning himself on the other side of Fugaku to get away from his insistent fangirl, but kept his eyes curiously on what was going on. The Uchiha heir, contrary to the mild rivalry that existed between himself and the first year academy classes' Rookie of the Year, stood firm with a blank face and allowed the younger Namikaze to use him as a meat shield. Then again, Uchihas were rather infamous for hating the inevitable fangirls they collected like used gum, so it wasn't unusual that he was giving assistance to someone else trying to avoid them.

"You were the one who threw a senbon through my ear!" The girl screeched, making everyone in the vicinity flinch from the high pitch she used.

The Aburame kids, who had been listening in silently over by the corner, winced and exited the classroom as soon as they calmly could, closely followed by the scrambling lone Inuzuka girl and her two ninken almost on the bug users' heels. Both clans were sensitive to loud sounds, and the civilian girl had just irritated or annoyed the latest shinobi trainees of both clans.

Natsumi snapped the fingers of her right hand, recalling the one and only time she had seen the other girl besides in the classroom or in the halls. "Right! You were the idiot that questioned Tsubaki-sensei about the effectiveness of precision senbon throwing to the point where she was contemplating throwing you out of the kunoichi classes."

She had hit the girl in the ear with a practice senbon with enough force to piece the skin, and the sensei had admired her aim out loud first before taking the girl to the nurse station set up in the front of the building, telling her to 'toughen up, it's not that bad' the entire time.

Now Natsumi inspected the deadly pale girl standing in front of her and mused out loud enough to be heard. "I really thought your name was Mei, or Mimi. Or something stupid like that."

Inoichi was smothering his laughter into both hands by this point, blond head bowed to keep his eyes off the two girls and losing his head entirely. Shikaku had a lazy grin stretching his face because this had nothing to do with him and so he could just enjoy the show freely. The others were a mix of studied indifference or sheepish embarrassment, either trying to conceal their chagrin at being caught out gossiping or being spied upon successfully. Except for Chouza, who just kept on eating to maintain his clan's inherited metabolism at peak efficiency as he ignored the drama unfolding before him.

The other girl, whom Natsumi still didn't know the name of, hesitantly spoke up over the Akimichi heir's munching.

This strange eyed kunoichi had never before bothered to do something about Kyoko's rather mean rumormongering, and she didn't quite know what was going on to make the strange girl snap at them. "My name is Mei."

"Right…" Natsumi shook her head after a moment, not at all embarrassed by getting their names wrong. "Still don't care. If you're going to spread misinformation, at least have the decency to do it at least with some kind of skill."

She hefted a painfully fake sigh, well aware that baiting the two girls probably wouldn't do her much good in any popularity contest. But still, it would probably get them to shut up for a bit and cause others to avoid her when the news that she wasn't an easy mark for bullying got out. _Hey_ , she was supposed to be a child, after all. Why not have a bit of fun with it?

"Just because you have no talent in any really practical skills doesn't mean you should sink to toddler level insults. We're supposed to be _better_ than _that_."

Kyoko flushed completely red, either in rage or embarrassment, and spun around, only to lose the color again nearly as fast as she gained it.

Looming behind her, probably having moved just that instance with a carefully controlled shunshin so no one was taken off guard by him, was the main instructor for the first year academy students. Hiruki-sensei had carefully blanked features as he watched the girl staring fearfully up at him. "Is there a problem here, children?"

Ignoring the dutiful muttering of 'no, sensei', Hiruki-sensei looked over at the girl perched in the window sill. "Are you sure about that, Natsumi-chan?"

"Yep." Suppressing the grimace at the tag on her name, the misplaced soldier shrugged in false innocence. "Was there something you wanted from us, sensei?"

"Hmm." His dark eyes inspected the faces of the children before him before focusing back on the troublemaker herself. "A moment, Kyoko-chan? I need a word with you."

The girl gulped fearfully, but followed the instructor out of the room. Natsumi just shrugged to herself as she watched the two of them leave the classroom.

Either Kyoko was going to get chewed out for screeching in a room with an Inuzuka and two Aburames nearby without an immediate need or disciplined for starting damaging rumors about a fellow classmate for personal and petty, and therefore wasteful, reasons. Either way, the girl needed it badly.

Now left with about six other kids of various age, she contemplated leaving. Not that she was anti-social like most thought, she just didn't like meeting new children and trying to figure out how to not insult them unwittingly.

On the other hand, maybe she was kind of anti-social at the moment given her own height.

"Sempai! You're still here!"

Well, there went that idea. With Minato beaming at her with a hint of evil intent around the edges, Natsumi was sure she wasn't getting away anytime soon.

(ooo000ooo)

Minato was still grinning. He really couldn't help it.

Natsumi-sempai was grudgingly getting along with the rest of his friends. Mostly, he was sure, because he hadn't left the sometimes taciturn kunoichi trainee much choice in the matter.

Tuning out Shikaku's third attempt to explain the rules of Go to the strange eyed girl, he puzzled over the last few hours in his head.

Natsumi had stiffened up when he had introduced her to the other boys, but that rigidity had melted away after a few minutes when Mei finally left to find her friend while the rest of that unbending edge had dissolved once five minutes passed without much of anything said. Now she was just awkward as if unused to making more friends or talking to others.

That made him just as sad to think about as watching Natsumi do her exercises alone every evening at the orphanage. Like the rest of the academy kids with a higher than average intelligence, Natsumi was unused to relating with others her age since most of them couldn't understand her, and vice-versa.

Minato _knew_ he was smarter than average. Not nearly as smart as Shikaku, but the Nara heir could out think his own father. His own intelligence went along with his ability to remember everything he saw, but that was nothing compared to the shadow user's intuitive intelligence. Natsumi was smart too. Not like the Naras or himself, it was more like she could think on multiple levels at the same time. She saw much more than Minato could at first glance, and normally understood what it all meant in that same moment as well.

Comprehension was what Natsumi excelled at. _Able to understand underneath the underneath naturally, really_ , Minato mused to himself as Natsumi gifted Shikaku with a lopsided, teasing grin and admitted she knew how to play, she just wanted to know how long it would take him to get fed up with explaining the rules to her.

There was something else to her too, almost like the tone of voice the girl had used against Kyoko. Something else that gave her a confidence that was hard to fake.

He wanted to know what that was.

(ooo000ooo)

Bemusedly, Natsumi played three games with the shadow user before bowing out and dragging Minato back to the orphanage for their nightly stretches. She had lost all three, but Shikaku had had to work hard for them. Something that had the Nara heir considering her thoughtfully yet again.

"So?" Her new kouhai asked while trying his third yoga stretch. "What d-do you think about— _ah!_ "

Natsumi grabbed ahold of Minato's leg before he could overcorrect his balance and fall face first on the ground. "Shut up and _concentrate_ , gaki, or you'll do worse than face plant." She couldn't keep the fond tone out of her voice even as she tried for irritable. "They're alright. Even the Uchiha- _baka_ , and I never thought that was possible."

The blond pushed himself upright with a grin, ignoring the trembling of his limbs as he took a seat on the ground for the next set which she was already on. "Will you hang out with us more often then?"

"Why?" She really couldn't understand his motives. Natsumi was mostly content with continuing as she had been, there really wasn't a reason to get a friend she would have to lie to. The whole lived-another-life thing could get her sent to the mental hospital at best, a one way trip to T&I at worst. Not really anything she really wanted to risk. Besides, she still had to figure out what the _hell_ was going on.

"Cause you're lonely." Minato puffed out, pulling one leg up as far as he could and wincing at the sensation of pulling tendons and ill-used muscles flexing. "I could see it, heck, even the caretakers could. Where's the harm?"

Natsumi eyed the angle the blond was bending, ignoring his description of her for the moment. "Why do you _care?_ "

"You're a comrade." Her fellow academy student shot back, unperturbed at the rude question. All geniuses had quirks you ignored if you wanted to get along with them. Shikaku's were laziness and strategy games. Apparently, Natsumi's included rudeness.

The supposed girl's mind was wrenched back to the soldier's memories and the many nights she had spent with the others of her unit either just screwing around drinking or playing some kind of multi-person shooter game. She had to admit she missed that kind of closeness while stuck in the body of a kid in wherever the hell here was. "Fine."

\V/

Natsumi turned into a bit of an unwilling friend after that.

She stopped objecting to the blond's insistence on including her, and it was becoming less of a rarity for her to seek out the boys when they had some free time. The Hyūga twins, or at least half of them, were indifferent to what the mismatched eyed girl did and didn't do. Hizashi tried almost as hard as Minato to include her, but had only half the succession rate the Namikaze kid did. Unless she managed to win one of their irregular shogi or go games, Shikaku didn't react at all except to eye her like he was trying to puzzle something out. Following along with the Nara heir, both Inoichi and Chouza would try to include her every now and again. Uchiha Fugaku simply focused on maintaining his silent rivalry with Minato, the two years between the boys notwithstanding, which took a bit of a hit when he was told Natsumi could have had the title but didn't want the attention, forcing him to acknowledge the girl as something other than an annoyance.

Minato didn't mind when his sempai wandered off on her own for a while, seeing as she was less lonely than before and kept up with training with him every evening. After all, she always came back.

Sometimes though, she would come back and throw in a comment or two that would turn their thoughts on their heads instead of keeping her opinions to herself like she usually did.

Inoichi had been complaining to the rest of them about the mandatory field excursion for their year, which was more like a weeklong field trip to one of the farthest Training Grounds that was still inside the walls of the village. "I was going to ask tou-chan about training me in the next level of our clan techniques. Why can't I skip this trip?"

"Brainwashing… or mental conditioning. One of the two."

The flat reply had all the boys spinning around. Natsumi had an odd expression on her face as she quirked a grim smile at them all.

"Your clan does mind-walking jutsus and specializes in reverse psychology and psychological warfare in individual combat outside the village, right?" At the platinum blond's nod, the girl cracked her neck before sitting down with the rest of them and pulling out her lunch. "Think of it this way. If social expectations and pressures can form a mob mentality you can direct to violence from just the impression of an insult done to them from a specific controlling group, why wouldn't the stigma attached to killing in civilized society be as easily ignored or worked around in a similar group mentality with the right encouragement or leading? You do recall we're training to be killers, right?"

Inoichi blushed a bit as he worked it out in his head, though he was sure she wasn't irritated at him for overlooking that angle, pulling his bento box closer to his body. He just hadn't thought of that, too caught up in learning to read another person's mind with his clan's jutsus. Chouza patted his friend on the back, commiserating with him since it seemed none of the others had had the same thoughts, offering a chip from his ever present bag to the blond.

The Nara heir snorted from the Akimichi's other side, giving the girl a long, sideways look. "So you think this is only to get the hesitation of a kill out of the way."

"Unless there's going to be a surprise attack by bandits or nuke-nin that somehow evaded the village's security," here she gave a nod of recognition to Fugaku as part of the Uchiha clan controlling the main chunk of Konoha's internal security by the Second Hokage's decree, "not so much getting the hesitation out of the way as making us kill at least one animal and associating the death with something else besides the socialized stigma of murder. Like say, a pleasant camping trip with friends."

At the blank looks on their faces, she huffed in exasperation.

"Did no one else read the notice? We're expected to hunt our own food. That would include killing and preparing it. There are some people that can't even bring themselves to harm the local _wildlife_ much less another _person_ , you know."

There was an almost wordless inhale of comprehension from the others. Minato acquired an unusual expression as he studied the girl's fading expression of cynicism, but Natsumi figured she would be grilled about how she understood that much later that night at the orphanage. For now, she turned her attention forcibly back to what drew her over to them in the first place.

"Do any of you know that new redhead girl in the first year classes? She apparently showed up this morning, but I wasn't here to hear what's going on."

"Why weren't you here?" Hizashi eyed the bandages that covered the girl's forearms, noting one was a bit more bulky than the other. "Pull something?"

"Sprained my wrist this morning, actually. The workers over at the orphanages panicked over it." She shrugged the concern away idly, accepting the sympathizing nods from the rest of them and the sympathy potato chip Chouza automatically handed to her with a slight, quirky smile. There hadn't been a week yet where they didn't have some kind of injury, ranging from cuts and bruises to even a broken rib once in Hiashi's case. "Well?"

"Uzumaki Kushina, Mesuji-san." Fugaku supplied, sneering at her. The sneer was ignored by all reflexively now, the clan's famous superiority complex was rumored to be a genetic trait along with their kekkai genkai. Kind of like the Uzumaki's verbal tic and their insane stamina. Quietly, of course. "Loudmouthed little girl from Uzugakure claiming that she is going to be the first female Hokage."

It hadn't been difficult to overhear that, given how boisterous the girl was.

"Huh." Natsumi tapped her chopsticks against the edge of her store-bought bento as the name rang a loud bell, idly thanking the kami that she had learnt how to eat rice with them from fellow soldiers in her previous life. She found that any skills she didn't already know before were harder to grasp with a child's motor control and attention span. Damn throwing skills, she still needed to work on them. "Just to let you know, Uchiha-sama, Uzumaki-san latched onto Mikoto-san as a sempai with a death grip and has given no inclination that she's going to let go."

Fugaku blanched, temporarily forgetting his Uchiha stoicism in light of the warning and the consequences it would have for him. He didn't really care about the odd kunoichi Minato had offered friendship to either way, and she was thankfully similarly indifferent to him, but she would give him tips about his legion of fan girls and any rumors linked to his clan in return for his tolerance of her presence when she showed up.

"Dear kami-sama, please no."

The aforementioned Uchiha girl was a year younger than him, and Mikoto was rumored to the leading candidate for the position of his wife on the elders' lists. That meant if she did become friends with Uzumaki Kushina, the loudmouth red-headed kunoichi would become a familiar headache to the Uchiha clan heir sooner or later. He ignored the Akimichi's offer of sympathy and Hiashi took it instead. No use in wasting good potato chips.

"So what brings you back to your fellow humble students, Natsumi-sempai?" Minato cheerfully asked the dark-haired girl, smirking when she gave him an odd look.

"Must you continue calling me that? You're making me feel old." The sole kunoichi muttered without venom, used to the title after four months of continually being called that despite her protests, "And nothing, really. I was getting kind of bored."

She shrugged, concealing the gleam in her eyes by narrowing them. It was a bit too late, as the shadow user and her kouhai were both eyeing her worriedly.

"I've a question. What is a large group of shinobi called? A flock, a mass, or a murder?"

Fugaku understood it first, excluding Shikaku's groan and slump since he was a Nara. The raven haired shinobi-in-training managed to fix his sneering mask. "That was horrible. Kindly cease attempting to jest, Mesuji-san."

Chouza boomed out a laugh half a second later, while the Hyūga twins bore identical expressions of stoically pained tolerance as they too understood the joke she was trying to make. Inoichi shot a glare at Minato, as if his fellow blond was solely responsible for the girl's horrid sense of humor.

Natsumi's fellow orphan had a hand over his eyes and so, didn't notice the Yamanaka's ire. "You know, Natsumi-sempai, if I had known about your pathetic attempts at making jokes beforehand…"

"You probably would have asked me for taijutsu tips anyways." The lone kunoichi of the group shot back, ignoring the exasperated tone and posture. "How you managed your standing with only the academy style under your belt is beyond me, especially before you started working with me on it."

Minato shrugged without care and uncapped a bottle he had brought along to take a sip. "I either outlasted or outthought most of my opponents. The ones I couldn't outthink didn't care and the ones I couldn't outlast didn't really want to fight a friend."

He waved his own chopsticks at the terminally lazy shadow-master-in-training who was pretending that he was alone and staring up at the sky since it didn't look like the others were going to be quiet today, and the forever-eating walking mountain that was the Akimichi heir.

"Now though, with the speed and reflexes I have, I think only you and the clan-taught kids can keep up with me."

Natsumi had to give him that as she chewed, both on her food and over her kouhai's logic. She had her previous life's combatives that most thought was merely an unfinished style her mother had favored, a mash of many different martial arts unknown to Konoha and combined by the soldiers of her last life into a very effective offensive style, and Konohagakure's academy style, which was more defensive than offensive.

Minato had refused to learn anything more than flexibility and strength training, however, explaining that it was a point of pride for him to excel only at the style taught to the pre-genin of Konoha.

Stupid, stubborn blonds.

Then the bell rang.

\V/

"So, want to come with me?" Minato asked cheerfully, ducking under the punch from his sempai that would've loosened a few teeth.

"Whose birthday is it again?" Natsumi asked in return instead of answering his question. She wasn't even breathing hard as she caught the blond's returning punch with her left and swung him around by his arm to knee him in the back and knock the breath out of him before he could compensate for the reversal of his person.

The last Namikaze wheezed painfully between clenched teeth and hit the ground face first, rolling to the side to avoid the drop kick that impacted just after he hit the dirt.

He just knew that his back was going to bruise, and he thought again that it was horribly unfair of her. Since the girl had been exercising for so long already, she was rarely out of breath during their spars even though he would start flagging around the middle. His stamina was getting better, was better than most of the children in their year, but the girl with mismatched eyes had been doing her exercises for so long that she was leagues ahead of him.

So far, at least.

His sempai had confided that in the long run, he would trump her in stamina simply because he was a boy the same way she would him in speed as a girl. Which meant that, in the future, she could still get in some really good hits before the end when the spar tipped into his hands.

Natsumi really didn't want to go to a birthday party, heck she couldn't even _recall_ her last one in either life, and she had no desire to see how it the present would differ to previous experience. Probably less alcohol, though. Although, she was mildly impressed with herself for recalling both dates of birth.

Of course, this was if the blond was really inviting her to a birthday party.

Minato coughed as he pushed himself up to his knees. "Damn, Natsumi-sempai. That one hurt. And it's Shika-kun's."

With a short glance at the newly emerging stars to check the general time, the displaced woman in a girl's body shook her head and motioned for them to start their cool down stretches. "Do I want to spend a night being challenged to Shogi or Go games and being guilt tripped into playing with Shika-kun's clan when I don't want to?"

Her fellow academy student blushed at her dry tone.

"Really, Mina-kun. Your actual reason, please."

"Umm…" Ignoring that Natsumi only called him 'Mina-kun' when she was starting to get irritated with him, Minato mustered his courage and promptly quailed at the glare the girl was pinning him with. "W-what do you mean actual reason?"

"Because before it was Shikaku-kun's, it was Inoichi-kun's. I heard that from the twins. And before that, Chouza-kun's birthday. From Shikaku-kun himself. Remarkable that they were all born on the same day, huh?"

Minato slapped a hand to his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut. Apparently they hadn't coordinated as well as they thought they had, "Well… that's just… damn."

"Just ask the question that's been bothering you, would you? You're starting to worry me." Natsumi threw up her hands in uncharacteristic exasperation, stopping mid-stretch and glaring at the other child in a similarly alarming deviation from her normal routine. "I've answered all of the ones you've asked, right?"

The future Yondaime Hokage flushed in shame, taking in the stress that lined the face of his only female friend's from his and the others' subterfuge. He supposed he and the rest of their little group had done the girl a disservice, since she didn't lie to them. And any question they had asked of her were answered… just not fully.

Shikaku had been the first to catch on to the girl's quirks. The cynicism aimed at the instructors' methods of teaching, her inability to deal with large groups of people, her skill at a game Minato had admitted he had never seen her play before. She was blasé to the extreme in some aspects but touchy about others. Inoichi had been the first to bring up that she may have been a spy.

But if that were true, why would she bother them with her horrible jokes? If she was aiming to get close to the future clan heads, why go off on her own so much? She never disappeared, just kept herself at a slight distance, and lost herself in whatever was occupying her mind. Even Fugaku had been skeptical when the possibility had been brought up. Besides, why would she give the time of day to a nameless orphan?

"Aa, sorry." Minato held his hands up at her irritated glare. "Really! Just, okay." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Not very well done, huh?"

"You don't say?" Natsumi gritted out. "Where do you want to ask, Minato?"

The blond sighed tiredly and fell back into his own cool down routine. "The Nara's clan compound. Shikaku-kun got us permission to camp out for the night in the forest behind his house."

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku had his head buried in his hands when the two orphans finally showed up. Obviously, he had already discovered the miscommunication. He waved off Natsumi before she could comment. "Yes, we screwed up. Shut it, Natsumi- _sempai_."

The woman in a girl's body shrugged, offloading her academy-issued sleeping bag onto the ground before approaching the campfire Chouza had started and was still feeding firewood to. "So," she began for the uneasy group as she took a seat next to the Uchiha heir, "you couldn't just come out and ask me what was going on?"

Inoichi blushed beet red, not looking at the girl. The twins exchanged looks, and then shrugged. Fugaku kept his attention on the roasting rabbit as Minato took a seat next to Natsumi. Chouza was the only one to speak up, though he was more focused on the rabbit than the girl they had gathered to question. "I told them to, Natsumi-chan. But they like the conspiracy theories better."

"Really." The dry tone she used had all the boys wincing with various levels of shame. Natsumi scoffed at the automatic reaction from the males around her. "I'm not going to remain the only girl to hang out with you all. Better get used to it."

That had expressions of distaste crossing their faces, and the kunoichi cackled at them all. Ah, the wonders of foreknowledge. All of them procreated in the story she recalled, and that held a potential treasure trove for blackmail.

"Yeah, but they won't be as scary as you, Natsumi-chan." The shadow user grumbled just loud enough to be heard, lifting his head enough to see the girl clearly. "Now will you tell us what's going on?"

Natsumi shrugged and nodded to their collective surprise. She had chewed the questions in her head thoroughly, but was still unsure if she was actually concentrating on the important parts. Maybe telling someone would help, though she wasn't expecting it to do much good. "Sure. I'm trying to decide if I'm insane or hallucinating."

They were obviously confused as they exchanged looks before turning back to her. Those were not the words they had thought would come out of her mouth.

"Insane?" Inoichi prompted, looking fascinated. Everyone else around the campfire just looked uneasy.

Natsumi eyed him and his eager expression, snorting quietly to herself. Figures it would be the mind-walker that would take that declaration in stride.

"I can recall about twenty odd years of another life. Seeing as I'm not twenty-something, and I'm mostly certain I've died once already—being gutted hurts by the way—that leaves me with only a few options left for what's going on. Insanity, hallucinations, you know." She glanced to the stone-faced Uchiha at her side staring at her as if in anticipation of her pulling any tricks. "Though, if I am dreaming in a coma somewhere or hallucinating, there must be something really wrong with my head."

Cue genetic Uchiha sneer. _Fun_.

"Twenty-odd years?" Shikaku asked, sharp eyes taking in the relaxed posture Natsumi had as she made the claim. Body language alone told him that the girl was unconcerned about their opinion of her mental state. "I can see why you're thinking insanity."

She pulled a sour face in return for the scrutiny and the comment. "Funny thing is, _Shika_ -kun, about seventy percent of that is mind-numbingly boring guard shifts and deployments. For it to be insanity, you would think it would be more interesting than that."

"Deployments? Which village and conflict do you recall, Natsumi-san?" Hizashi asked next. The woman turned girl was mostly certain that the forehead hidden behind the bandages was furrowed as the younger twin tried to imagine the headache of living two lives.

"None of them from current history, which would mean the last thousand years at least. I looked. Also wasn't a kunoichi before, I was just a soldier." She waved a hand dismissively, thinking back to the effort she had mustered to find anything she could recognize when she had been five. Just before she tripped over the whole 'ninja' thing and promptly started panicking about comas and hallucination. "As a matter of fact, I nearly had a heart attack the first time I saw a map of the Elemental Countries. Looks nothing like what I can remember from mission briefs."

Then the roof hopping ninja that triggered her one and only panic attack. She couldn't forget that ill-fated walk to the library if she wanted to.

When Minato finally spoke up, it was with a hint of incredulity lacing his voice as he stared at her. "Is that where you learned to fight then? Your style doesn't match anything in the village and there are the occasional times you overcorrect when training with me, like you're used to more reach."

Shikaku sat bolt upright at that reminder, having thought through and discarded many doubts about her sanity already. "You fight too well not to know your style inside and out. Even the academy instructors agree with that. Is that from your past and not from your okaa-san?"

"Yeah. We called it combatives back then." Natsumi shrugged idly, unsure where this tangent was going but willing to humor them. "It was taught to all the soldiers in the army I belonged to before my death. It was a mash of a lot of other styles of martial arts used around the world at the time. And no," she pulled a weird face at the reminder of her second mother, "kaa-san didn't really teach me anything before she died."

"And that's where you got the habit of going out at dawn and dusk to train?"

Natsumi eyed the blond on her right skeptically. "Yeah, and?"

"It's a possibility then, though not a very good one." Shikaku mused almost to himself, taking in the bewildered girl with mismatched eyes across the campfire. "Think about it—what if your previous life was before the Sage of Six Paths? Reincarnation is said to take a minimum of _five hundred years_. How would anyone _know_ that if no one recalled their previous lives before? Legend does hold that there were super powered nations a long time ago, and the world might have changed over centuries. You said you could recall dying, right? What if you were reincarnated with memories intact?"

"Shikaku-kun, I haven't discarded the possibility that I'm _hallucinating_ all of this." Natsumi threw her hands up in disbelief, rather unwilling to go along with that particular assumption of her mental state. She opened her mouth to ask the resident mind-walker a question but was derailed by the look of almost absolute manic glee on the blond's face. "What- _Inoichi-kun?_ "

"I'll be able to tell! We're trained to catch that kind of detail when looking through someone's mind." The blond leaned forward, intent on proving it either way with his clan skills. "And I'll be able to tell if you're just suffering from delusions or badly implanted memories."

"Or flat-out insane." Huffed Hiashi, but was ignored when the Yamanaka got up and practically threw himself on the ground next to the girl.

"Look me in the eyes and concentrate on your past life."

(ooo000ooo)

The other boys milled around, thinking about Natsumi's little revelation while Inoichi explored the girl's mind. The rabbit was rescued from charring and eaten, a portion saved for the two distracted members of the group.

Their attention was drawn back sharply to the Yamanaka heir as he hurriedly scrambled for the bushes; leaving Natsumi to groan in pain, lurch upright while listing to the side, and lunge clumsily to catch the other eight-year-old's longish hair before it ended up striped with the blond's lunch on the forest floor. "I already said getting _gutted_ was a _bad experience_ , what the _hell_ were you thinking, exploring _that_ memory?"

"Sorry!" Inoichi gasped between heaves. "Just- _urk!_ "

Natsumi made a face and closed her green right eye as she propped herself up against the tree the mind-walker was next to. Her sense of balance was shot, and neither the pounding headache nor the blond now dry heaving into the bushes was helping to dull the horror of her last life's final moments. "That was… _extremely_ unpleasant. Let's never do that again."

"I made you feel the memories, too. Wasn't supposed to happen." Inoichi muttered dazedly, his face a mix of severe nausea and sincere regret. "Didn't really realize that if you recalled being killed, I'd feel what it felt like to be gutted too. But I don't know enough about my clan's jutsus to keep either of us from experiencing that again."

"Inoichi-kun? Natsumi-chan?" Shikaku's concerned voice drew their attention back to the others. The Nara had gone pale under his tan and the rest looked no better off. Natsumi was distantly proud of herself for putting that gaping fish expression on the kekkai genkai users' faces. "Is she sane or not?"

"She's not crazy!" The blond _whooped_ suddenly, all but jumping upright and startling the girl into taking a few steps backwards in case he started laughing manically and demanding all their dango, _or else_. With how this night was going, she wouldn't put it past the Yamanaka heir just yet. "I mean, yeah, not entirely working with a full length of ninja wire, but given what happened to her that's almost to be expected."

Natsumi took offense to that. " _Oi!_ I think I'm doing well enough for being on my own, thanks."

He waved a hand in the air as if to dismiss her words. "You need some _serious_ therapy, now hush."

The mind walker staggered his way back to their little circle of friends, grin still affixed to his face as he rapidly listed a crude summary of what the girl knew and what he now knew she knew.

"Thousands of years of history, Shika-kun! Three different languages, working knowledge of a few others, countless hours of schooling in military-related matters of the time, even years of combat leadership experience!" The grin only slipped as Inoichi reached the memory that had thrown him out of her head. " _Definitely_ needs some kind of therapy, not the same we give for traumatic physical injury and losing teammates, but something all the same. She's just suffering from a severe case of survivor's guilt, disassociation with reality, and a few other major things. Since Minato-kun's pulled her out of the worst of it just by asking for her continued company, she's been working through the issues she could identify. And now I can help her with the rest!"

She flipped him off with a scowl, stubbornly ignoring her deathly pale and very concerned kouhai on her right as she sat down again to keep her knees from shaking. Damn the mini mind-shrink ninja and screw his therapy to hell. She was _fine_ , damn it.

She suppressed the reminder of her frequent nightmare of desert nights, the smell of blood, throbbing pain and _ohmygodisthatmyspine!?_

Okay, not fine. Not even remotely… but she was still working on it!

Everyone else now looked less like someone had whacked them upside the head and beat them bloody with a frozen fish, Chouza even started snacking again as he considered the mentally unfocused girl while Inoichi all but gushed about her past life and the _psychology she had studied_.

Not crazy or insane, but the hallucination angle was still possible. Again, if someone you hallucinated said you were sane, were you?

Natsumi bit her lip and stared into the small camp fire, struggling with her own head and feelings as the others pressed Inoichi for answers. There had to be a problem with that logic. Not that there was any real logic to finding something you read as a hobby to be truth, but if she was hallucinating or in a coma somewhere in the desert she thought she died in, how could she tell without killing herself here?

She always did hate how Minato's kid had been treated in the manga. Would saving her little blond kouhai and his soon-to-be wife get the littler gaki killed later on down the line, or solve most of the problems before they became S-class threats to Konoha? Was it even a problem?

"Natsumi-chan? You alright?"

Minato's worried voice called her back to the present, and to the little niche she had carved out for herself here, insane or not. Blank, mismatched eyes slowly refocused on worried, bright blue.

"Yeah, I will be eventually." She risked a quick look to Inoichi, not at all surprised to see the knowing look in his lavender, pupil-less eyes. "Inoichi-kun will help me see to that."

\V/

Natsumi did eventually write out the choppy, bastardized, military-style psychology she had been taught for Inoichi to all but devour in return for her 'therapy'. He did, after all, come from a clan of shinobi that dabbled in psychology on the side when not in the interrogation department of T&I.

In a world of hired mercenaries and killers, the triggers and warning signs of an unbalanced mind in their ranks should be somewhat similar to her own experiences.

She did so only with the understanding that if he wanted to use any of it, he wasn't to mention her past life to anyone.

He only agreed because the reincarnated girl was uncomfortable enough with only the few of them knowing of her past life. No matter how blasé she was, the only reason she had shared her secret with them was because she had decided she wouldn't be getting much farther on her own. Having keenly felt the uncertainty in the girl-woman's mind just before he brought up her earliest memories, it wasn't too difficult for him to agree as long as she abided by his advice.

The Yamanaka heir had insisted on weekly therapy at minimum to work through her issues, much to the girl-woman's horror. Said therapy would happen whenever the group managed to get one of the academy student accessible training grounds for themselves through their clan influence, since Natsumi was not comfortable telling the current Yamanaka clan head why she needed therapy to use one of their sound-proof rooms.

Which the girl was still certain she didn't need.

At _all._

There was a twenty-seven-year-old career soldier inside her sneering at the thought of shrinks and barking to _drop a pair and move on, soldier! Crying about it won't help shit!_ Mental health checks had always been dreaded in her past life.

They refrained from going through her mind again, which Natsumi was pathetically thankful for. She wasn't sure how Inoichi had missed all her thoughts on the storyline, but didn't want to risk the scare she had after she realized what it would mean for a mind-walker to stumble upon them later that night.

Hizashi was the one to bring up informing the Hokage about her knowledge first, since it could be considered prior command experience if you tilted your head to the side and squinted.

"I tried, for the first year I could coherently string together a solid thought." Natsumi blithely informed them all one afternoon, a week after their camping trip in the Nara's backyard/training grounds. Class was out and they had gathered in the empty practice grounds for taijutsu sparring, with Shikaku taking a nap and Chouza playing referee, since anyone going up against the Akimichi clan heir was just asking for a broken bone.

Currently, they were stretching for a free-for-all which would be followed by pairing up for what practice they could fit in the remaining time. "But consider the difficulty of convincing Hokage-sama that I wasn't a spy of some sort, given the war going on outside the gates. Remember, I wasn't even sure I was sane at the time—still not so sure—so it was probably a good thing his secretary didn't take me seriously and never let me through."

The misplaced soldier was mostly certain that both Fugaku and Hiashi still thought her completely insane, whatever the Yamanaka clan heir said or not. _Fair enough_ was all Natsumi could say to that, because she had had the same doubts the first nine years of this life and sometimes even now despite Inoichi's frequent reassurances. The Yamanaka didn't have all the parts to her mind puzzle, after all.

Thankfully, before the blond could repeat himself for the umpteenth time or prod her for more information, a certain red-haired girl and self-proclaimed rival of the current holder of the 'Rookie of the Year' title came screeching to a halt in front of a bemused and exasperated Minato. "I challenge you to a spar, Namikaze!"

It was always amusing to watch the two of them argue, but this afternoon Natsumi risked missing something potentially hilarious to share with Naruto, if she survived long enough to, to observe Mikoto, who was splitting her attention between her reluctantly acknowledged best friend and her all but confirmed betrothed.

With her newfound if questionable 'sane' status she really didn't know what to make of the girl. The girl who would apparently abandon her best friend's child to the orphanage and later the streets, while she played house with her husband and ignored how Naruto was the splitting image of Minato. She occasionally had the same thoughts about Fugaku even before Inoichi took a dive through her head. "So, anything new with you, Mikoto-san?"

The physically older girl gave the other kunoichi a small smile, starting out as polite and 'formally distant Uchiha' as ever but relaxing to something approaching pleasant near the end. "Not really, Natsumi-san. Kushina-chan has stated fūinjutsu lessons with Mito-sama, which leaves me with a bit more free time than before."

"I heard the Uzumaki clan is really good with seals." Natsumi looked back to the red streak that was Kushina, admiring the shade of crimson the future jinchūriki's cheeks were turning. "I imagine it would be difficult getting her to sit for calligraphy lessons with that kind of energy, though."

Most of the boys' attention was on Minato's attempt to turn down Kushina's challenge. Only the Nara heir could have claimed to hear them and he really couldn't have cared less about the topic of discussion.

Mikoto was a bit surprised that the slightly annoying girl who had all but welded the two of them together had that kind of clan history. "They are?"

"What, you didn't look up her bloodline and kekkai genkai the moment you knew her clan name?" Natsumi gave the Uchiha girl a lopsided grin. If it was a bit sharper than normal, _eh_. She wasn't that good at hiding when she was irritable or upset yet. There wasn't much of a point at the moment. "Uzumaki is one of the major bloodlines from Uzugakure, and a few of their women have married high ranking shinobi from our village. They're known for fūinjutsu and have a vitality-based kekkai."

Slapping a hand over her eyes, Mikoto sighed heavily as her shoulder slumped. "Damn, and here I thought she was _unique_. You're telling me there's more like her?"

Natsumi nodded faux-importantly with a barking laugh, "And all of them are rumored to be just as hyper as her. Hard not to be, when they have high chūnin or low jōnin level chakra reserves by this age bracket."

The girl winced at the mere thought before turning to the increasingly incensed redhead. "Kushina-chan! We're going to be late to Mito-sama's!"

She checked the sun's position in response, then Kushina screeched in alarm and all but vanished in a streak of red with her friend in tow.

Leaving a bemused blond, a gaggle of indifferent boys, and one smirking kunoichi. "Well, that was interesting."

"I don't know why she keeps doing that." Minato rubbed the back of his neck, looking in the direction the girls had left in. He liked Kushina, but she always wanted to spar instead of hang out and they really only had so much time before the clan kids had to be home for their family training sessions.

"Pigtail pulling." Natsumi offered, far too innocently to be believable as she fell into a ready position with Fugaku across the field.

Inoichi was the only one to laugh, in hysterical bursts that brought him to the ground, and the rest decided they didn't want to know after a good look at Natsumi's 'innocent' grin.

\V/

The rest of the academy year went by easily with a few hiccups and the occasional struggle that the group resolved by heavily abusing Natsumi's prior-combat experience. She was oddly amused by that, especially the few times the twins and the Uchiha heir asked for her advice on their homework.

The few times the girl-woman tried to avoid her sessions, Minato would drag her back, and said therapy would happen anyway.

Natsumi tried only once to completely remove Inoichi from being able to force her into talking about her other life, and the blond boys got the Hyūga twins to block her tenketsu points while the Nara heir trapped her in a full-body bind. However, that did mean that Hizashi, Hiashi, Shikaku, and Minato got to hear the gory details of how she and her patrol had died her first time around for themselves. They abandoned the rest of that day's therapy and clan training just to screw around and cheer up the 'walking dead' girl. Fugaku and Chouza were informed later that same night so they wouldn't bring up any bad memories by accident.

The end of the first academy year was dedicated to unlocking chakra coils in the clan-less students while the clan kids were set up with beginner chakra control exercises. It was one of the few areas that the misplaced soldier's prior life knowledge didn't cover, and so she was slightly nervous about it.

Minato had maybe five minutes to panic over the idea that Natsumi wasn't born with enough chakra to activate her coils while the kunoichi struggled to prove it wrong. The end of those five minutes gave him another reason to worry over as the flair of chakra that proceeded the unlocking of the ex-soldier's coils became visible—meaning that she had more than enough chakra—but with a color unlike the norm.

Natsumi's chakra, although in a higher volume than any other girl's except Kushina's, was a light purple.

She was rather indignant about the lilac color once the group managed to gather before the winter break, and was still muttering vile things about her unknown father, the only prospect they concluded that could have affected her chakra in any manner.

Her final comment about the oddity was, "What good is _purple_ chakra anyways?"

"We would like to know that as well, Natsumi-chan." An affable, but gravelly voice answered from behind the group as they wandered around the marketplace that was where they split up for their various compounds or homes. The mid-sized group of academy students turned nearly as one to see the war-strained Sandaime Hokage smiling down at them from under his wide brimmed hat and over his smoking pipe. Next to him was an unknown shinobi, whom they figured to be some kind of medical specialist from the way he was dressed in a mix of scrubs and ninja gear. "Would you mind letting us take a look at your chakra system?"

The girl with mismatched eyes inclined her head to their village leader, turning to look at the rapidly paling blond at her side with a crooked grin. "Of course, Hokage-sama. Oi, can you tell the caretakers I'll be back much later, Minato-kun?"

"Actually, I've been meaning to invite you two over again." Shikaku announced suddenly, wide eyes still on the patiently waiting Hokage. "Come to my clan's compound later, Natsumi-chan."

(ooo000ooo)

It would have been funny at how worried the boys were for her, even the two sticklers holding out on deciding her sanity, if it hadn't been for the scare all of them had been given recently.

Not that they were doing anything wrong, there weren't any laws on keeping one's past life from your Hokage after all, but being snuck up on by said Hokage wasn't a laughing matter.

Natsumi rather freely gave out the diagnosis the hospital had given her. Telling it once to the Hyūga and the older Uchiha, who had actually graduated three weeks early but was waiting around for his proposed genin team to come back to the village, and then again at the Nara compound to Shikaku and company as he pinned her with a mildly anxious look from between the Yamanaka and Akimichi clan heirs.

"High spiritual energy compared to a much lower physical one. That caused the discoloration in my chakra. Usually, it's the other way around."

Although that was normally green, as produced by medics when healing, not purple. That part didn't need to be spread around, Natsumi was strange enough as it was.

Even more quietly she shared the rest with Minato, hopefully out of the recovering Nara clan head's hearing. "If I didn't have the habits I do, it would have been _worse_."

"Well then, I'm glad to hear that it wasn't anything serious, Natsumi-chan. Would you and Minato-kun like to stay for dinner?"

Natsumi gave Shikaku's mother a wry grin, ignoring the arched eyebrow the shadow-user's father was giving her for her unusual chakra composition and coloration. "We didn't tell the caretakers at the orphanage we'd be later than usual, ma'am. We should probably get going."

"Oh alright. But the two of you don't be strangers now." Aikido smiled down at the only girl friend her son had, and the blond child that had included her.

"Yes ma'am." The girl with mismatched eyes nodded to her and the other boys, giving Nara Shikai a bow. "Nara-sama, my thanks for letting the boys hang around while I was at the hospital with Hokage-sama."

The clan head nodded once in acceptance of her gratitude, but waved a bandaged arm with a slight wince to dismiss it. "Call me Shikai, please. There are way too many Nara around for formalities. And leave off the 'sama', chibi-chan."

"Sure, Shikai-san." Natsumi bowed again and all but dragged Minato out of the Nara compound. She started to fill in the smaller details as they walked back to the orphanage. "Hokage-sama wasn't really alarmed outside of what the coloration would mean for me. Apparently, strange colored chakra pops up from time to time and the only concern is that I need to work on the physical half more. There's even a clan with _white_ chakra somewhere in the village. I do have to wonder if that means there were others who could recall what they had been in another life."

She left out that a higher physical core of energy wouldn't mean jack other than a fitness freak or insane hyperactivity. Which meant she was still the only one to have her unique circumstances in Konoha's medical history.

"Well, that's good, right?" Minato asked as the plain building they lived in came into view. "Means it really wasn't a fluke, or something the Shinigami is going to come after you for."

"That's morbid, Minato-kun. And here I thought _my_ sense of humor was _dark_."

That was not a consequence she had thought of yet. Damn blonds.

\V/

The second year of academy instruction for Minato and Natsumi was much less exciting. A few birthdays were celebrated and Minato got to pay his taijutsu coach back by helping the girl with mismatched eyes with her throwing stance and grips, although she still had better accuracy than anyone without a dōjutsu. The curriculum became harder, meditation was introduced, the three standard academy jutsu were practiced, and a few inches were added to many a midget.

Other than the kunoichi of their year discovering hormones for the first time, it was almost uneventful.

Natsumi found the fangirls and their talent for multiplying rib-crackingly hilarious, much to the dismay of the boys. They had held out hope that she would at least get annoyed with the encroachment and deal with them before laughing her butt off. Kushina just found them sad excuses for kunoichi and scorned them all. Mikoto, on the other hand, showed them why no Uchiha fangirl had ever succeeded in tempting an Uchiha shinobi with copious Killer Intent especially aimed at the girls gossiping about her recently graduated betrothed.

The three girls soon found themselves lumped together during any practical exercise despite the differences in year level as the other kunoichi trainees allowed their skills to fall by the wayside in lieu of more faux-romantic pursuits. It continued in the same vein for a good few months until Natsumi finally got fed up with the high pitched noises made over half of _her_ boys and the waste of the kunoichi sensei's time.

So she told the boys with the most fangirls how to distract them.

Hey, Inoichi had told her that getting possessive over her friends was normal. A long awaited sign of recovery, right?

Well, something like that anyway.

Hiashi's left eye twitched once Natsumi was finished explaining her plan during lunch in the second year's classroom, as they were eating indoors since it was raining outside. It kept on twitching even as his twin started slamming his already bandaged head against his desk repeatedly. Fugaku, who had had the luck to receive a D-rank mission to fix the academy roof with his new but slightly older genin team earlier that same day, looked as if someone had told him she was a kami reborn and managed to prove it after slapping him in the face. Minato was a laughing heap propped up by his own desk, though admittedly it sounded a bit hysterical.

Slowly raising his head off his usual position over his desk, Shikaku pinned Inoichi with a dark look over his folded arms and behind Chouza's suspiciously shaking shoulders. "Your clan deals with psychological warfare. It's practically their _thing_. Why the _hell_ haven't _they_ come up with this _yet?_ "

The shadow user refrained from commenting on _Natsumi's_ skills, as the two behind her didn't know about that yet.

The mind walker spluttered around a mouthful of rice, still staring at the lead of kunoichi trio in awe of himself. _Progress!_ A bit later than he would like to see in the girl, but an improvement all the same.

"Look, you don't even need to start out small. They're idiotic enough to believe anything at this point." Natsumi rubbed her temples in irritation, ignoring the knowing look in Inoichi's eyes. "As long as enough of them hear that you're looking for girlfriends with certain skills that require a lot of attention to develop, they'll be too busy competing with each other to even direct enough brain cells to bother you. They'll leave you alone and the majority of our generation of kunoichi won't be massive wastes of space, a win for everyone. Pick a cardinal point and shout it if you have to. I can understand wanting a distraction, with the war and all, but this is getting a bit much."

"And soon, please." Kushina tagged on with a firm nod, rolling her green eyes in exasperation when a group of whispering and giggling girls tripped their way into the classroom only to stop and glare at the girls already talking to the boys they were fixated on. "This is just embarrassing, you know."

Mikoto nodded along as she chimed in. "The faster this is over with, the better."

"We'll return the favor, honest."

Minato finally caught his breath and peered up at Natsumi. "What do you mean by that?"

His sempai grinned grimly, echoed by both Kushina and Mikoto. "You'll see eventually."

\V/

The end of the second year of the academy gave weight to Natsumi's promise. More than a few shinobi trainees started tagging after Mikoto and even Kushina, offering to assist them with everything much to their shared ire.

They solved that developing problem by cornering Natsumi and asking what she did when presented with persistent suitors. She had a working solution for the boys still in effect, after all.

The girl-woman raised an eyebrow, wondering at the intelligence of the kids around her, when said cornering happened in a closet of all things.

"I'm apparently creepy-looking enough that no one's tried to ask me on a date." The misplaced soldier gestured to her mismatched eyes as if to prove a point even when she knew it had to do with her attitude and not her looks. "Dear old kaa-san is to thank for that. Though I don't expect that to last for long, given the curves I'm developing."

She poked at her own chest and hips in turn to draw attention to the expanding dimensions she was growing. The joys of puberty, take two.

"You know," Mikoto mused, looking at each eye and the separate colors they held, "you could probably use a genjutsu to hide that."

Natsumi considered the possibility, but shrugged the suggestion off. "Why bother? I've got my kouhai and Chouza-kun, and even Shikaku-kun helping a time or twice with a lot of griping, to scare off the beginnings of my meager admirers, and the eyes kind of identify me to everyone else. If I suddenly showed up with two matching eyes, people might think I'm a spy or something."

The boys had actually chased off suitors only because the girl-woman admitted that even thinking about going on dates with them made her feel like she was robbing the cradle. Just a bit.

"Chouza-san, huh?" Kushina's eyes gleamed with a wicked light as she recalled the Akimichi heir. He had started wearing the main parts of his clan's signature battle armor every day, and already had more bulk than the other academy students. If you ignored the fact that he didn't like confrontations and was pretty easygoing unless you insulted one of his friends, he _was_ imposing to look at. "Do you think he would mind helping us out too?"

"Chouza-kun's good like that, just get him a snack of something and he'll help." Natsumi gave them both a lopsided grin. "It could even be store bought and he'll still appreciate it."

\V/

The last year of the academy went even faster than the first two, with the ever looming academy exams and the expectations of assisting in the war effort haunting their dreams. The rumor of Uzugakure's destruction made the rounds in the break between years two and three, with a certain red-haired Uzumaki princess being absolutely shattered for a long time after its confirmation.

Without Mikoto around to bug, bother, and annoy during her free time that year, Kushina started hanging around the only other kunoichi she could stand. Natsumi sympathized with the redhead, seeing as she still couldn't deal with many of their other peers despite Inoichi's best efforts. Many of the girls, and a few boys, wanted to poke and prod at the Uzu shaped hole in the fūinjutsu princess' heart.

Natsumi, knowing intimately how much it hurt to lose that part of yourself, simply listened to Kushina when she wanted and kept silent when she didn't.

The Uzumaki girl also had many chakra control tips which she freely exchanged for Natsumi's taijutsu pointers once the misplaced soldier explained she had higher chakra reserves than most kunoichi did, almost as much as a few of the boys.

Minato tried to ease the other girl into their ever-shrinking group by asking what kind of things the redhead did, only to end up listening with fascination as Kushina extoled the wonders of fūinjutsu. Shikaku slept through it, Inoichi gave up understanding within the first few minutes, and Chouza munched through three bags of sweet rice crackers to keep awake.

It was times like this that made the misplaced soldier miss her other boys and the never-ending sniping between them, but Fugaku was out of the village on patrol with his team while the Hyūga twins were running communications to various sentry posts within Fire Country with their own jōnin-sensei and, surprisingly, Mikoto as their third kunoichi teammate.

Natsumi came back to the conversation when Kushina finished her impassioned speech with the fact that Mito-baa-sama would be taking her on as a fulltime apprentice, and that one of the sannin was coming back to the village to take on a genin team. "Like who?"

That rang a dull bell, something about Minato's next step in his shinobi career.

The redhead looked over to the other kunoichi, pursing her lips.

"From what Mito-baa-sama said to me, the sensei is supposed to be one of the sannin returning to the village. I've got a special ' _circumstance_ ' that keeps me from a normal shinobi career, so there needs to be something done with the other two that would have made up one of the genin teams." Kushina scoffed at her 'special circumstances', a worried frown on face. "They were hoping there would be a slightly uneven number of students graduating this year, you know. Supposedly, someone they had thought would fail last year didn't."

Natsumi dimly recalled that the Uzumaki girl inherited her fuzzy, still murderous 'tenant' just before Mito-sama died and a few days after she was kidnapped by foreign-nin, Iwa maybe, and carefully suppressed the pity and pain she felt. Kushina would hate being pitied, after all. The sannin she spoke of had to be the Toad Sage Jiraiya, since Minato did end up signing the Toad Contract before his death at 'fuzzy's' claws, and the sannin supposedly taught him enough fūinjutsu to create the next jinchūriki's seal. The reminder of the ticking clock on her friends' lives had her blinking back tears while staring blankly at the nearly empty room.

Shikaku finally sat up at that piece of information, giving the girl-woman a slightly confused look for her inattention. "You're at the bottom of the class rankings, right Kushina-san?"

"That's not my fault, _you know!_ Stupid buushin clones." The Uzumaki girl muttered to herself viciously, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting. "Stupid E-ranks jutsus!"

Natsumi shook her head once to clear it before shrugging at the shadow user. "That would leave a team with two kunoichi. It wouldn't be sorted that way, Shika-kun. As a matter of fact, I don't think we can count on traditional team sorting while the war is going on."

"Isn't that the point?" Countered the lazy preteen easily. "Who would argue 'untraditional' with a _sannin_ teaching?"

"What way?" Kushina asked with another pout. She was sure her class rank would be brought up again.

"The top and bottom of the class, rounded out by one of the students in the middle. That's one of the traditional team sortings." Quirking a lopsided smile at the redhead, the misplaced soldier chuckled. "There were three of us aiming for that middle position the whole three years, now that I think about it. Shika-kun, one of the Aburame kids, and myself."

"You were _aiming_ for _average?_ _Why?_ " Kushina sounded horrified, probably by the very idea that some of her classmates had sabotaged their own scores.

"It's kind of traditional for the clan, even if everyone already knows we're smarter than we let on." Shikaku shrugged in a boneless way that caught the girl-woman's eye. "A few even went so far as to take the bottom ranks."

Natsumi took an utterly inappropriate moment to wonder if the Nara clan had similar flexibility exercises as she did, and what they could possibly do with that, before turning to the redhead to chip in her own observations built up over the previous two years.

"I did it just to see if I could, but that changed to fulfilling my goal specialty's requirements about half way through the first year here. And I think the Aburame was aiming for intelligence work instead of the usual tracker division." At the incomprehension on the Uzumaki girl's face, the misplaced soldier tugged a hand through her high tail and tried to explain the convoluted way the wartime academy _actually_ graded the students with for the girl who hadn't seen through the rather horrible and transparent act done during the first month of instruction.

Which had been done to give most of the trainee ninjas a good idea of how to narrow their specializations before the formal graduation.

This was a _shinobi_ training academy, and they _were_ at _war_ after all.

"There is an unspoken but widely known agreement between the Jōnin Commander and the ANBU Division Commander that if a student can dupe the instructors within a certain margin about their real level of skill until the months leading up to the final exam, they could become ANBU trainees right out of the academy. The few trap specialists we have are actually moonlighting as class clowns to display their working knowledge against chūnin-level opponents almost every day and are graded on successful pranks, upkeep of troublemaker covers and alibis rather than regular homework. Homework which I don't think has ever been completed by a successful trap specialist before. I don't know what the genjutsu and iryou-nin specialists do to advertise their skills, but I think the medics just intern at the hospital. That's one of the few more straightforward self-advertising methods I know of, but then again they have almost insane requirements and control just to be able to use medical jutsu. I also know the Intelligence Division take almost exclusively from students that can maintain a nearly exact sixty percent success and a forty percent failure rate, mixing the subjects you fail and pass at, for at least a full year." After wracking her mind for anything else, she turned to the boys still in the classroom. "Did I miss anything else?"

"Hunter-nin and trackers." Inoichi added without missing a beat. "Hunter-nin have these little chakra puzzles and hints scattered around the academy that leads you to them, kind of like a scavenger hunt, but you have to find a part of them first. Usually a team of students try to tackle that on their third year if they think they're good enough. Trackers take the kids who can spot and go looking for them, but those mostly end up being Hyūga, Inuzuka, or Aburame. Then there's what Minato-kun's aiming for." He added with a grin, jerking a thumb over his shoulder at his fellow blond.

Said blond was almost beet red when Kushina turned to him. He blurted it out before she could give him more than a curious look.

"Command. I'm trying for Chūnin or Jōnin Commander, ANBU General, and the Hokage's seat." He waved one hand at the various shinobi in training seated around him. "I have to gather up specialist candidates from more than one division and hold them together without injury or homicidal attempts for at least a year. I've got Intelligence," Inoichi threw a sloppy salute to the red head, "ANBU," Natsumi waggled her fingers discreetly under her folded arms, "general chūnin or jōnin candidates," Chouza and Shikaku both nodded, "the twins for trackers, and Uchiha Fugaku for Military Police… since everyone knows that's where most Uchiha end up."

"Which, now that I think about it," Natsumi chimed in again with a wide, evil grin, "means that Minato-kun's got the largest and longest record ever attempted in Konoha before. Uchiha-sama and the Hyūga twins still keep in contact, even if they've graduated. And more than just a few of us are future clan heads."

She nodded importantly, and then snickered at the future Yondaime's embarrassed expression and slinking posture under Kushina's wide-eyed stare. The misplaced soldier was more than a little sure there was a case of mutual attraction going on there.

Finally gathering her wits, the redhead started to sort through the information with what she already knew. "But wait, what about genin teams? If you've already picked specialties, doesn't that affect who's assigned to which team?"

"Pretty much." Shikaku joined in, now that most of the explanation was out of the way. "Special Ops candidates get retired ANBU or hunter-nin as jōnin sensei to keep an eye on their emotional health and pre-training polishing. Tracking teams get either a support-orientated jōnin or a still active hunter-nin since tracking is easier than subduing captives. Intelligence get assigned to generalists teams for field experience before being banished behind desks to deal with the legions of paperwork. Everyone else gets distributed among that line up since they usually end up being support-nin."

Kushina thought about that for all of five more seconds before exploding. "That means I'm out of the running for Hokage!"

"Nope, you still qualify." Natsumi interrupted before they attracted the attention of any instructors passing the classroom, or even the group of students a few chairs over. That wouldn't help her complete the challenge posed to those in her chosen field. "I'm trying for ANBU, remember? They're all known to be a bit quirky, so keeping company with a possible one allows for a wide margin of error. With Mikoto-chan as Military Police or genjutsu specialist and me as your third division candidate in ANBU, you meet the minimum requirements. Especially since we spent most of last year together. If you can keep meeting up with Mikoto-chan while hanging out with us, you're golden."

She snickered as another thought crossed her mind.

"That was how Sandaime-sama managed his candidacy with his teammates, though he had a general jōnin candidate and a genjutsu specialist, so you're just doing the same thing with an all kunoichi team. A Nara's worst nightmare."

Shikaku's eyes widened and his jaw dropped in horror, eyes locked on Natsumi's gleaming mismatched ones.

The redhead gaped at her for all of a minute. Her little rivalry with Minato had waned halfway through second year, but she still tried to beat the boy at sparring now and then. To hear that he was aiming for the same position as she was, even if he hadn't said it outright, rekindled that dwindling spark of competition in her. The boys covered their ears while the dual-eyed girl laughed as she crowed her success on the first step to Hokage as loud as she could, shocking the only unprepared shadow-user off his chair. She then launched into an impassioned speech about how she was going to beat Minato to the hat, no matter what!

The girl-woman expertly ignored her kouhai's betrayed expression at the news. She was getting rather good at that.

 _Come to think of it_ , Natsumi mused to herself a little later, as the very late temporary sensei finally got into the classroom to begin the lecture on POW handling regulations only to step on a cleverly hidden tripwire and get a face full of sticky feathers courtesy of a loudmouthed redhead, _in a wartime footing both Naruto and Kushina also qualified for trap specialists for their pranking skills as well as combat ninjutsu specialists for their insanely high chakra levels._

Though with how the blond jinchūriki had been outright hated in his childhood, she was sure that those marks of achievements had not been given to the poor kid since Konoha was at peace during that time. There probably hadn't even been ANBU recruiters to pick the best at subterfuge for their own divisions without a war to fight outside of the village's gates.

(ooo000ooo)

She had royally screwed up.

The instructors were trying to catch her out on knowing more than an average academy student should. Natsumi had two encounters of verbally dodging and bullshitting her way through increasingly pointed conversations before she caught on that they were on to her.

She panicked for all of ten minutes before common sense reasserted itself. It had to have been the explanation of the academy's sorting system they had given Kushina that was overheard, though only partly from how they were dealing with her. Thankfully, the instructors only thought that she only comprehended more than she let on and was aiming too high as a result. But that still left the misplaced soldier in a bit of a bind.

There were five more months of the academy to go, and giving up now wasn't an option. She knew ANBU candidates who failed the academy 'test' were given infiltration specialist tags on their records, but she wanted the ANBU one, damn it! Inoichi had told her to pick a goal and concentrate on it when memories of her past life started interfering in her present one, and so she had picked ANBU out loud and Minato and Kushina's survival in her head.

It was something that she had wanted in another life. Special ops appealed to her. But in the US Army, females had not been allowed combat roles. The village was less concerned with a kunoichi's ability to procreate, since they were all started on hormone therapy pills developed by the Slug Sannin herself after graduation that stopped menstruation until the counter dose was taken. Assuming they survived long enough to take it.

Natsumi knew she had been a damn fine soldier in her last life, all gender-bias aside. She didn't argue with orders and marched when told, fought when needed and talked her way through a lot, but there had been a few things her gender had denied her that still grated at her pride. She also knew that she could still qualify for ANBU consideration after graduation even if she failed the challenge, but that would only be after she 'matured' enough to hold a cover identity for long periods of time.

She wasn't sure how much maturing she had left to go before she hit her second childhood. Technically, she was already in it.

Leaving aside taking the infiltration tag for admitting she had been better than her scores said, she could either run or hold her ground for ANBU. Running would mean being fast and slippery enough to prove she had what it took for ANBU, but there was a chance that she would still get infiltration since she would have failed the challenge. The second option was much harder but would guarantee her ANBU candidacy. Holding ground would also cover information gathering and informant turning, something she wasn't all that sure about in the first place. She would have to lead the instructors to the conclusion that someone was playing a nasty trick on her, and that she was honestly bewildered by the sudden attention.

Easier said than done, _they_ were chūnin level.

\V/

…or maybe that wasn't the hurdle Natsumi thought it was supposed to be.

Honestly, for an establishment that dealt with training ninja of all people, _why_ was it so easy to infiltrate?

Admittedly, a few of the locks and traps had given her pause, mostly because she had never seen them before and spent at least five minutes checking them visually before deciding to disarm or avoid. She knew she was wasting time carefully checking each and every room for anybody and anything out of place, but hurrying now and screwing up more was a nightmare she had had frequently leading up to this afternoon.

Afternoon, because night was just so _cheesy_ … and she had a curfew. Embarrassing enough on its own, but getting caught outside it? She would never live it down in the orphanage.

It was also easier to hide her body, clad in the darkest clothing she had, in the various shadows thrown by the early evening sun. Slipping by the instructors had been something she played at often enough throughout the last two and a half years that it wasn't much of a trouble to begin with.

Besides, why trip a well-hidden alarm when she could be behind the trap's range before it was even armed?

Luck was with her, as the main sensei for their year had left for the day already. Unluckily, it seemed as if Hiruki-sensei knew what he was doing in securing documents.

Thankfully, she had thought to inform the others what was going on beforehand.

Kushina had been _aghast_ that their freely offered advice, not to mention the Hokage requirement explanation, had injured her friend's chances for her 'dream' and had thrown practically everything she could at Natsumi to help her fix the misstep. Including a few scrolls on fūinjutsu that the girl-woman was sure the Uzumaki heiress hadn't intended to give her.

The misplaced soldier felt terribly guilty about not mentioning them to the redhead yet, but she knew Minato didn't learn enough from Jiraiya to make the seal he used on his son. And Jiraiya wasn't a master in the art of fūinjutsu yet. Kushina could have possibly helped, but Natsumi was mostly sure the seal used to contain the Kyuubi no Youko in Naruto had been a rushed hack job, as brilliant as that had been later on.

Minato was smart in his own way, but blind in others. Natsumi intended to learn enough to help her future Hokage find either another solution or not need to sacrifice his life at all, damn it. No one in that family deserved it.

For now, small simple seals were all she could do. Mostly through copying pre-existing seals.

Carefully peeling off the chakra-draining tag she had gotten from Kushina's stores of practice seals, Natsumi drained the chakra from the alarm tag Hiruki-sensei had sloppily copied to seal his cabinet holding the student's records. Once the sloppy tag was inert and simply a piece of paper on the wooden doors, the ANBU candidate carefully peeled it off with a special kunai from Mikoto to replace and rearm later. Checking her gloves given to her by Hizashi to ensure they were tight enough not to slip and snag something or leave her chakra signature behind, she eased the point of the kunai around the edge of the doors, listening for the clinks of metal that would tell her where any hidden traps were.

When all she could hear was a wire trap, probably projectile in nature given the sensitive information that couldn't be replaced easily, Natsumi stuck the kunai back under her left forearm and slowly inched the cabinet doors open. She could see the shuriken launcher only by the gleam of oiled metal deep in the wood's dividers. It was aimed at the general height of the heart on an adult's body, almost overhead for a short academy student.

She could also just see the trigger mechanism and the trip wire on the back of the cabinet door, which looked like she needed a hook with a long reach to prevent it going off. That she didn't have.

Well, maybe wire would work to lift the latch worked into the wood that would pull the trip wire and launch many a sharp spinning thing at her head.

Fugaku had sneered at her for her clumsy error, but forked over a spool of the high quality razor wire his clan favored in battle. Lightweight enough to hide easily, slightly difficult to control, but stronger than standard issue by far. She had it coiled around her right wrist.

Surprising how helpful the Uchiha clan was even if they pretend they didn't care about you.

Loosening the length of flexible, razor sharp metal, she used her left hand to hold open the cabinet door and her right to catch a loop over the trigger. She eased it upwards, not letting up until she heard it click into safety.

There wasn't anything else obvious, and so she eased the doors open the rest of the way, giving a silent breath of thanks to her friends when nothing shot out at her.

Now in, it was ludicrously easy to find her records. There had been a few complaints from a fellow kunoichi trainee, one Kyoko that she only vaguely recalled from the first year of the academy. A note of an exceptional espionage attempt from the same year. Second year only really had one item of note, and that was a confusing one about tactical planning and comprehension in regards to crowd control and a note of merit from the Yamanaka clan member who did the random mental health screenings through the years.

Thankfully, she never had to see Inoichi's uncle about the state of her poor head.

Third year held the report currently giving her a problem.

It hadn't been an instructor that overheard the group, which was a relief. On the other hand, there was no record of the reporter's identity at all. Confused, because other people would have to check her records in the future and that kind of notation left more questions than answers, Natsumi made a split second decision. Deftly taking out Minato's, Inoichi's, Chouza's, and Shikaku's records, she fished out another scroll that Kushina had given her to copy anything written as she glanced at the girl's in question.

Her scroll, like the other clan kids, had her clan's symbol stamped on the ends of the rod holding the paper. Unlike the others, it had elegant script on almost the entire exterior. Knowing the Uzumaki were some of the best fūinjutsu experts around, she had no intent to touch the scroll unless the clan heiress said she could.

Shaking her head sharply to bring her wandering attention back to what she was doing, Natsumi copied the scrolls, rolled them up, replaced them, and started cleaning up after herself.

Rearming the shuriken trap was the only part she was unsure about, but the cabinet apparently automatically armed that when the doors were closed. Checking herself over, the five scrolls of information she had stolen, the tools her friends had willingly given her, and the office one last time; she then reapplied the seal to the front of the cabinet in the same crooked way it had been slapped on. Setting Kushina's chakra leeching seal on top, she let out the small store of Hiruki-sensei's chakra to rearm the tag.

One last look around, and Natsumi slunk out of the office through the window that only opened with a certain jutsu Fugaku just happened to have acquired with his recently activated dōjutsu that same morning and passed on to her, since the door was now armed to alert ANBU of any intruders. She had a date with a certain Nara's backyard.

(ooo000ooo)

Sarutobi Hiruzen chuckled softly as his crystal ball showing the academy instructor's office went dark. There wasn't anything else to see now that the girl had left. "I see now why you brought this to me. She's a remarkable little kunoichi. Quite an array of talents cropping up these last few years."

The Sandaime puffed on his dying pipe as his guest nodded once.

"She's one of my hopefuls, and with that neat and clean operation right there I have no objection to her eventual introduction to ANBU." The man in the bear mask on the opposite side of the desk replied as he took his eyes off the crystal ball and locked gazes with his Hokage. "I take it you don't have an issue with us taking her and a few others a few months before graduation?"

"I would wish for them to undergo at least six months of genin team exercises, but I have a sneaking suspicion both you and the war won't let me do that to them."

"They won't disappear into our world without a squeak, Sarutobi-sama. I'll make sure they keep up with their little friends for the first two years." The man took off his clay mask and seated himself in the chair normally reserved for visiting dignitaries. A lopsided grin stretched his scarred lips up on one side of his face. "But you wanna know something interesting? She's the first one to complete the AnBu academy challenge in the last five years. Knowingly at that."

Hiruzen paused in filling his pipe and blinked. "There are children able to do that _without_ knowing?"

The Hokage was supposedly all knowing and unflappable, but Sarutobi wasn't against _Bear_ knowing he was surprised in this instance. They had worked together for a long time now.

"The Nara clan." The burly man grunted out as the Hokage lit his pipe. It was both identification and reason, and the Sandaime's disbelieving expression turned into one of bemused understanding. "They all admitted to hiding skills, though. ANBU's too _troublesome_ for them. Nearly all other ANBU candidates run, hide, or bullshit their way through and are dropped or reevaluated depending on how bad they do at it. Last candidate to hold her ground and try to find a way to answer the final test like her, was me."

"So you want her to replace you."

"Do you blame me? Mesuji-chan is good for an academy student."

The man gestured in the direction of the Nara clan compound with an impatient frown, knowing the girl was there with Namikaze's little clique of friends and her prospective ANBU captain, Wolf, shadowing her and the information she had stolen from the academy. Wolf was one of three ANBU tagged for discrete mentoring for eligible students, and the only one to draw a student who won the academy challenge. Bear foresaw bragging rights to Wolf on behalf of the little kunoichi if she passed the questioning portion. He continued on, ignoring the amused expression on the Hokage's face as the Fire Shadow deuced the path of his thoughts.

"She can fully admit when she screws up, she can plan good missions if that was any example of her talent for it. Halfway decent stealth skills and mid-mission improvisation. Good taijutsu, adequate chakra levels, could work on her chakra control more, damn good aim if somewhat bad throwing habits with anything other than senbon and kunai. Methodical, quiet, and damn protective and possessive of her friends." Here he paused, a flash of his canines peeking out in a grin. "I could go on, but that would make me sound like a stalker. Point is, Hokage-sama, we've been watching her for most of her second year. She'll be a good ANBU operative in time and an even better ANBU General with enough help."

"I noticed you didn't say anything about the other children."

"They're okay. A few need some serious help getting their skills up to par for trainees, but no one else has Mesuji-chan's potential. There were a few others, but they're clan kids. Need special permission for them." The career ANBU agent grunted irritably. Clan kids normally made up the top ranks of all academy years, simply because they had extra training and mentoring. Unless the less trained kids pulled together a group of friends like the Namikaze kid did, the ranks were usually skewed towards clan children. "But while we can use normal protocol for easing the others into ANBU, Mesuji-chan will just see through it. We'll have to use prodigy protocols for her."

The older man blew out a lungful of smoke and a regretful sigh before reaching for the girl's actual records on his desk. Konoha did need more and better assassins, with how many the war effort ate up. Mesuji Natsumi would make a good one, able to hide under the cover of her young age and gender before taking out a target. The Sandaime Hokage's only regret as he handed the updated files to the current ANBU General was that it was likely he would never see how good a ninja these children would make.

They would either die in the shadows of the special ops division, or start hiding more than just skills when not behind a painted clay mask.

(ooo000ooo)

"Okay, that's strange." Nara Shikaku remarked out loud, for the benefit of the shadow Natsumi seemed to have picked up during her break in of the academy.

Hizashi noticed the shinobi following her when the girl came into sight, and had alerted the others before the ANBU trainee could reach them. Natsumi herself hadn't noticed until Hiashi drew her attention to the extra set of eyes. She had gone a bit pale, but divvied out the tools she had on her to the ones that gave them to her and the records she had snatched. Depending on how long her shadow had been there, the ninja would have already known that she had stolen the records and with the tools of an active duty nin.

Now they were all bent over Natsumi's records after a quick look over their own, trying to puzzle out what had happened to risk the girl-woman's chances at ANBU.

Minato scratched on cheek and looked around at the pale or tense faces. "Maybe we're thinking too hard?"

"How hard should we be thinking? We're talking about _chūnin_ , Minato-kun." Chouza reminded the blond orphan, hand frozen halfway to his ever present bag of snacks. "Natsumi-chan already said it was kinda easy to get in, so they probably already knew she would try for her records. The instructors were probably trying to gauge her skill level with this."

The silence continued for a bit until Fugaku suddenly growled, drawn features shifting to irritated in a flash of crimson eyes. "What if _this_ was Natsumi-san's final test?"

There were blank looks all around until the shadow-user nodded sharply in agreement. "Everyone knows the ANBU candidates get tested before everyone else, and anyone hearing the tail end of the ANBU challenge would automatically think of the three months of review before graduation, not half way through third year. We're still learning combat tactics for elemental jutsu for the moment."

"But that's unfair." Kushina interjected, scowling. "That would mean anyone trying for ANBU has less instruction than anyone else graduating the academy."

"That would be the point, Uzumaki-san." A deeper, gravelly voice broke in before the redhead could continue, making all the preteens whirl around and scramble for weapons they did or did not have.

A man in a red streaked, snarling wolf mask knelt right behind where Natsumi had been before she had practically launched herself out of her own skin. The figure cocked his head to the side at the panicked reactions, causing a few embarrassed blushes, before continuing in the same mono-toned voice.

"In ANBU, you may not have the training or skills needed for a mission and anything could go wrong on infiltrations. We needed to see what Mesuji-san would do when confronted with that scenario before deciding if she passed or not."

The misplaced soldier blinked at the man. Her heart was still pounding and her nerves were stretched taut at how easily the ANBU agent had snuck up on her and the others, and how close he had gotten before willingly revealing himself. That was an _unreal_ level of skill. "So… are they in trouble for helping me or not?"

"You're not going to ask if you passed?"

Natsumi blinked again, then sneered at the figure in frustration.

"That's not important right now. Why the _hell_ would I care if I passed or not when they might be in _trouble-!_ " She cut herself off mid-shout and studied the figure before changing mental tracks as common sense reared up over the panic in her head. "How long have you been following me for?"

The masked man snorted once. "Good answer. Now I need Mesuji-san to follow me, and bring the information she managed to steal from the academy with her."

Fugaku took it upon himself to gather the records up, flashing his sharingan to record each of them with his back to the ANBU agent before returning them to the girl. Natsumi took the pile of scrolls from him with a nod of thanks. "Ready, Wolf-san."

The wolf mask bobbed again and the man rose to his feet in one fluid movement. The misplaced soldier saw how much better the man was at it than her, and could finally see how the ANBU managed to sneak up on Hyūga of all people.

 _The extreme of the extreme athletes_ , Natsumi mussed to herself while adjusting her armful of scrolls. _I'm almost one myself, career soldier and all. And Minato has gotten even farther than me in turning into that kind of ninja, for all that he's been doing it for a far shorter time._

It had to be how most ninja developed that kind of skill and talent, with chakra only helpful in preventing most of the wear and tear heaped on the body. Problem was, the girl-woman was now mostly sure she hadn't been doing near enough to condition herself for this kind of life. The exercises she had were based on a life without that kind of spiritual and physical augmentation, for a job more reliant on overall endurance and stamina as needed physical skills than developing the strength of individual muscle groups and fine muscle control needed in the sort of pitched battles ninja fought.

 _In short_ , the girl growled to herself and took the hand of the ANBU for the shunshin, _this is going to be a bitch and a half just to survive._

\V/

Mesuji Natsumi was in the hospital, according to the instructors when asked about her. She returned to the academy two and a half months after that botched meeting, paler and thinner than she had been the last time the others saw her. The only reason the Uzumaki girl knew the other was still alive was because her missing fūinjutsu scrolls had been returned to her one month after Natsumi had disappeared with the ANBU agent Wolf, which she finally recalled lending to the girl with mismatched eyes in the hopes they would help her keep her ANBU candidacy.

Even before Minato and Kushina managed to effectively kidnap the girl out from under the nose of the worried and fussing chūnin sensei, hilarious as that was to watch, it was apparent that the misplaced soldier was beyond simple exhaustion.

The redhead slapped down a privacy seal she had worked up under Mito-sama's teaching, mostly to prevent the same situation of being sneaked up on like last time, before turning to the girl already sprawled out in a boneless manner on the ground and exploding with all the panic and worry she had felt for the last two months. "What the hell happened to you, Natsumi-chan?"

"Nng."

"Well… that was descriptive." Chouza remarked lightly as he pulled her upright by a firm hold on one of her arms.

Natsumi gave an aborted wave, sagging into the Akimichi's grip as she became lightheaded from the change in position. "Good news, bad news."

"I'd think we'd like the good news first, Natsumi-chan." A pale Shikaku stated quietly as Chouza gently lowered her into a proper sitting position.

A nod and a huff of breath answered him, a hollow mockery of the bark-like laughter so common from her before the start of their third year at the academy. "Good. Yay ANBU, 'n not trouble."

"I think she means she made whatever requirements for ANBU candidates and we're not in trouble, I hope." Minato translated for his sempai after a period of confused silence.

"And the bad?" Inoichi prodded one thin arm, wincing at the bruises decorating every square inch of the girl visible.

"Bad… yay ANBU. Inoichi you _teme_."

Shikaku barked like she used to, except his was a laugh as worried as it was cynical and devoid of actual humor, startling a listing Natsumi into completely falling over. "Bit late for second thoughts, _Natsu_ -chan."

Giving up on being vertical for the time being, the woman in a girl's body simply opened one green eye and glared at the shadow-user from the ground. "Know that, _Shika_ -kun. Means not enough _time_."

She blinked, shifting only a small bit to get into a better position, one that put less pressure on her myriad collection of busies.

"And ow. Can't forget ow."

Kushina fluttered around, still worried and not at all confident that touching the other girl was a good idea. "Um, should we take you to the hospital? You don't look too good you know, Natsumi-chan."

"I've got… free time now. Sort of." Since lying down seemed to have given her a fourth wind, so to speak, Natsumi pushed herself back upright carefully. Her _bruises_ had bruises, she was a little surprised that was actually physically possible. Who knew? "Stupid academy. Worked my tiny ass off trying to get free to tell you guys what happened, and I gotta go to school too? Unfair."

"Sempai? I think we would like a full answer now." Minato took hold of the girl's bruised shoulders and made her look into his eyes. "Please, Natsumi-chan."

"Mmm kay, Mina-kun. Wolf-taicho took me to Bear-san 'n a few other students. Bear-san said good work, but you screwed up. 'M chakra sensing 'n control poor, situational awareness also sucked." Squeezing her wrenched shoulders when her exhausted mind wandered was as unfair as schooling and ANBU training the same day. "Then got to work. Pre-mornings with Squirrel-san, taijutsu 'n reflexes. 'N mornings with Wolf-taicho, throwing weird 'n stuff. 'N Crane-san 'afor lunch, meditation 'n jutsu. Lot 'o other things, theory 'n med-medical, after lunch. In _masks_. Rinse 'n repeat. Two months, kouhai."

' _Wolf-taicho?_ ' Shikaku mouthed to himself. Then his brain started to work again and kicked him upside the head. "Wait, you've been training these last few weeks? With others? With _ANBU?_ "

"Mmm." Natsumi managed another bleary nod without tipping over. "Improve to return. Had to hold ground ina spar with Wolf-taicho. And ow. But I'm back now."

Inoichi frowned at the wreck of a girl as the others finally let her pass out. The girl-woman still didn't really care if she lived or died, not entirely sure her reality despite his best efforts. Something he couldn't blame her for, not after having seen and felt what she had seen and felt once upon a time. That meant she was probably being more reckless than she would have been otherwise.

Up until she had admitted to him in their last therapy session that she was starting not to care whether this was a strange dream or not, since she liked them all and genuinely didn't want to see any of them hurt—even Uchiha-sama—he would have labeled her partially suicidal. She probably still was to a degree, but he worried at the kind of damage ANBU would heap on her already cracked mind.

Or maybe it would help? He could understand her calling him a teme, it was his suggestion to pick a goal that landed her in this mess.

It was her own drive, however, that let her work pass the obstacles in her way. Would something more demanding than her old life tighten her grasp on reality, or make her slip back into bad habits?

\V/

The academy was slowly emptied of the more skilled students during the last three months of their third year.

As soon as a division of the shinobi corps felt that one or two of their candidates could no longer benefit from a class setting, he or she would be yanked out and slotted into preexisting teams and rush into the battlefields for field experience. Sometimes they came back to the academy bone white and silent, and sometimes they didn't. Not all of the civilian-raised kids noticed that the students on 'medical leave' were actually already graduated and moving on with their shinobi careers, but the last month of academy classes were echoingly empty and rumors were hard to ignore.

Mesuji Natsumi had been yanked a full two months before graduation, only to be seen once or twice around the village with a hitai-ate around her left bicep and a harried, exhausted expression on her face.

Uzumaki Kushina left the academy for the last time a month and a half before the final exam, rumored to be studying under Mito-sama herself for some urgent reason.

Namikaze Minato was yanked by the arm by a certain famous white haired sannin along with Yamanaka Inoichi and a kunoichi neither knew that well three days before the last month preceding the final exam.

Nara Shikaku and Akimichi Chouza were the only ones to actually take the academy exams that year in their group. They and the passing career genin or jōnin candidates were divvied up and sent out after their classmates into the rumored last few years of the Second Great Shinobi War.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN#2 : I will freely admit Natsumi is more than a little f@#$ing crazy and slightly cracked in the wrong way. Who wouldn't be in this situation? No, it won't really get better either. She'll always have that sliver of doubt just under the surface, she'll just manage it a bit more every chapter. Before you yell that no SI was supposed to tell the others that they were aware of the future because of a fantasy story they heard/watched/read, Natsumi didn't do that. She did recall a magna she read during her limited off time, but that wasn't the focus of Inoichi's mind diving. Her actual life was, and her preoccupation with the Naruto verse only occurred right before her last deployment. Yes the little she knew later became a driving force behind her actions, but it was something distant to her when she still thought she was either insane or hallucinating during the camping bit. And Inoichi was a bit distracted by her painful death to notice her off duty activities at the time. He really didn't have that long in her head before that came up. Why doesn't the others report our little nut job? I don't quite know yet, but it was mostly because she has been helping them, even when she really thought they were fragments of her shattered or drugged out mind.


	2. Of Genjutsu and Psychosis

_Who's to say we won't be thought of as ill-bred fanatics of a madman in fifty years by a different society able to see our situation in hindsight?_

_Adolph Hitler was considered a brilliant man in Germany back before World War II. Mahatma Gandhi was imprisoned for a while during that same war._

_At the time, Hitler was a great leader and visionary, Gandhi was a political criminal. Now, Hitler's a madman and Gandhi's a revolutionary icon for peace._

* * *

Ninja psychology and shinobi mindsets were a fascinating subject if you had the time to study them. Paranoid with a curious bent, relaxed but ready for anything, self-assured one moment, cagey the next, opportunistic and skeptical to everything, a ninja had to be all that and more at the same time.

Problem was, no shinobi was _that_ good and that slight, minor difference every ninja had between the two extremes was exploitable even if you really didn't know what you were doing.

The target this time was both at once more paranoid than anything she had seen before and more lax than most civilians that had the guts to work the trade routes during war time. He didn't seem too bright, though.

Panther peered at her target through the leaves and carefully flexed her fingers to complete the last hand sign for her supposedly 'original genjutsu' to settle on the man calmly strolling along the battered road that lead to one of the little farming towns just outside of Konohagakure's protective shade. It took a few minutes, but the man's head abruptly snapped to the side and he peered suspiciously at the undergrowth in the outer reaches of the forests, his hands giving away prior training in shinobi arts to her and her ANBU squad as they flicked to where small blades had been concealed on his person as he verified that he hadn't seen anything that needed to be killed. He cautiously continued on his way, hitting his civilian's confident stride after a few more minutes of nothing coming after him.

No matter how many times she did it, nor how many times Yamanaka Inoichi told her it wasn't magic or her delusions acting up just _chakra_ , the only odd jutsu she could use always felt and seemed more like magic powers than anything else she had ever done. How else could you affect another person by will alone?

She wished she could use more of it than she could, but taicho had told her she would never be a ninjutsu specialist with her still horrific control over her chakra.

Her _only_ combat useful jutsu wasn't really a real genjutsu, which was the snag most shinobi tripped over in trying to sense and dispel it if they realized or knew it was there in the first place. It was simply an influence on how much information a target takes in, as explained to her by her taicho; convincing a target that the flash of tan, brown, or green wasn't a part of the scenery but the movement of some kind of impending doom and they had to defend themselves or be killed, or that the oddly hand shaped thing holding that rather sharp looking knife wasn't really there because it really was a coatrack.

It had developed from trying a common focusing technique using chakra that most ninja used almost on automatic to sharpen the senses when on mission, merely overblown in a heavy handed way that Panther once did on accident in a training exercise and realized that if it screwed her taicho up so badly, it was probably just as hard on another person they didn't like in ANBU. It took such a minute amount of her concentration to apply that an academy student could pull it off with their chakra reserves and control, something that she was not too long ago.

There was some discussion between Wolf-taicho and Bear-sama about having it introduced as a beginning part of the standard procedure in marking out infiltrators, if she could ever get around to teaching someone else how the jutsu worked. Panther wasn't sure how she felt about that.

Something else to talk to Inoichi about the next time she caught the blond mind walker on a day off.

Wolf-taicho touched her right shoulder, giving the non-verbal confirmation she was waiting for to go ahead with the second part of the planned ambush. He must have already conferred with the others of the squad while she was wool-gathering like a green recruit.

Panther obediently slipped off the branch she had been hidden on, silently landing on a studier one lower on the tree and jumping to the next available branch in her desired direction.

Another thing to wonder about when she had the time. Ninja traveling methods.

Halfway between the mark and the next town the ANBU assassin touched ground finally in a clearing somewhat removed from the rutted animal trail the ninja would be coming along on, grasping at a skinned knee and whimpering like any good civilian child would when injured and alone.

Carefully standing up in the clumsy manner of a untrained farm girl, she would know since one of her 'training exercises' had her pitching in on a farm once the mission was over and she was waiting on a pickup, she weakly leaned against a tree and tested her 'injured' leg by shifting twenty percent of her weight onto it, keening lowly in the back of her throat once she got a little over thirty.

"Something wrong, little lady?"

Starting at the rough voice behind her the girl turned around too quickly and lost her balance, landing on her ass with a graceless thump. With her grass green eyes watering in pain, long, dark and loose hair falling around her thin, pale, and patched kimono, she truly looked the part of a young war-starved farm girl that was injured and lost. "Who! Ano… who are you?"

The scruffy man smirked at her as he moved around the ancient tree and crouched next to the waif, thinking more along the lines of a free meal ticket than being suspicious of a young girl lost in the forest around an infamous ninja village. She was scrawny, had hair far too long for any serious kunoichi to stand, and the brat couldn't even walk. Easy pickings. "I'm just traveling here and there, little girl. But I heard you in pain, and what kind of man would I be if I left a little injured child out here all alone? Do you want some help getting home?"

A sniff and a wobbly, grateful smile had the man swinging the 'injured farm girl' over onto his back. He took special care of her skinned knee, keeping his arm under her thigh instead of around the crook of the joint. Mentally patting himself on the back on finding a cover that was even more believable than his original one because _who would stop some young girl from getting medical help just to question the man carrying her_ ; he never felt the wisps of razor wire that settled around his neck with the strands of the girl's long hair, aided by the still active bastardized genjutsu that pulled his attention to the scent of girl on his back, apples and … metal polish?

Two seconds later with a sound like a bursting water balloon, the Iwa infiltrator's head rolled down the tiny dirt road without the rest of him.

Panther back flipped off the corpse before it hit the ground, and before her own head was taken by the razor wire now held taut by Jackal and Horse. She took a few moments to whisk off the blood soaked kimono over her skin tight, short black bodysuit and mop up as much of the mess on her as she could while her teammates unpinned the wire's ends from the trees. Horse then coiled the thin metal back up while Jackal helped her frisk the corpse for the information the spy had stolen from the jōnin assignment hall. Once that was secured Horse handed her back her mask and bent to heal her minor, self-inflicted injury as she took out the dark green contact lenses out and stowed it back in her odd contact case, right next to the dark blue ones.

Blinking her mismatched and pale eyes, she slipped on her mask and the parts of her armor Jackal handed to her piece by piece then looked back to where Wolf-taicho was observing. Their captain simply nodded to them and one Katon jutsu later only greasy ash, charred bone, the dull glow of molten iron, and the stench of burned pork remained in the clearing.

Two more targets until they could return to Konohagakure.

\V/

Jiraiya frowned absently as he noticed that two of his little minions were distracted that afternoon. The mandatory kunoichi of the team was sharpening her kunai while they loitered about but the two boys he had been given, a future clan leader and an orphan like he had been once, had their heads together and were whispering furiously.

They were doing a piss-poor job of keeping the argument from him, even if the girl was happily oblivious to any disagreement between her teammates. Point in fact, he had noticed even if he was mostly distracted by the beauty bathing just beyond the tall wooden wall of the public onsen. Twisting around sharply in a whirl of white hair, the sannin slapped the bickering boys on the back of their heads with his ever handy sketchbook. Softly, of course. Wouldn't do for that busty brunette to hear it and draw the conclusion someone was around that shouldn't be. He had a reputation as a bit of a letch around Konoha, and she would probably hit first and ask later.

Leveling a glare at his two boys had no effect. After two months of genin training and an additional two months of D-ranked missions both of them lost whatever awe they had held for him. At least the girl was still biddable.

"You two should just shut up about her." Keiko-san spoke up in a normal tone of voice, both proving the sannin wrong about the direction of her attention and probably alerting the beauty he had been spying on. "Since it's been so long, you'll probably find her on the KIA lists."

Snatching up his so called students, all the while thinking _why did the old man saddle him with them again_ ; Jiraiya executed a hasty shunshin to their normal training grounds before anyone could come investigate the voice and dumped the load of wanna be ninjas once the familiar trees of training ground three came into view. "Do you want to tell me just what this is all about?"

The kunoichi pushed herself up, knocking both Inoichi-kun and Minato-kun off her back and ignoring them as they hit the ground again, then started to dust herself off with an aggravated air. "There's this annoying girl they know. Mesuji Natsumi-"

Sensing that this was about to go horribly wrong in a bad way, Namikaze was an easy going kid more often than not but he was starting to turn an alarming shade of red at the direction this conversation was going, the sannin clapped his hands together gleefully and turned to his two young, _male_ students with a broad, perverted grin plastered onto his face. "Why boys! Are you telling me you're fighting over a _girl?_ "

Inoichi's face screwed up like he was trying to wrap that statement around whatever argument they had been having, turning greenish around the edges like any other prepubescent, preteen boy would when confronted with a girl's affections or accused of favoring one, but Minato's face lost all color at the bent the Toad Sage's mind had seemingly wandered. That was … unusual. Interesting. One of the two.

Jiraiya then turned to the harpy of a kunoichi who now had a face like she just bit into a lemon. That little comment of hers was well beyond anything he would accept out of a fellow shinobi. When worrying over the location and health of another ninja, one did _not_ make allusions to the death of said missing comrade in a nonchalant way, especially to the ones doing the worrying. That raised a whole lot of little red flags in his head about the girl's suitability as a kunoichi, and it wasn't the first time he had the same thoughts about the snot-nosed little brat. "Tell me about this girl."

Keiko huffed again, brushing brown hair out of her eyes and scowling at him for the subject matter.

"A kunoichi that was in the same year as us, I think she went for one of the specialist slots. But they haven't seen her in three weeks and are starting to panic about it, sensei. She was pulled out of the academy before anyone else was, even Uzumaki-san, and wasn't returned like about half of our year was after a few weeks." She snorted, crossing her arms over her non-existent chest and sticking her nose up in the air. "She was average the whole time we were in the academy, and was rather stuck up to the rest of the kunoichis while she was there. No great loss, I say."

The only question in the Toad Sage's head once the girl was done with her bitter report was _what crawled up your ass about her?_ He could see the girl mocking the concern maybe in a few years, most C or B-ranked missions were weeks long, even months sometimes, but at the rank and age they were at now? The concern the boys had was a good one. Add to that the twit's inability to let childish slights go, whatever it was about the missing girl that bothered her so, and it wasn't looking good for the kunoichi's future in the shinobi corps. Making a snap decision, since it was the brat's fault the beauty at the onsen probably wasn't there anymore, he dismissed her on the grounds he had to talk to the boys about ninja life and the toll it took.

Once Keiko was out of sight he leveled a stern look on Minato, and the kid crumbled. Sort of.

Supposedly, Mesuji Natsumi-sempai was a slightly older girl that had taught him a few useful taijutsu tricks and helped them all, them being the group of clan heirs and other noteworthy clan genin, out through the academy years. They were supposedly concerned because she had said she would be back by today and wasn't around like she said she would be. Jiraiya nodded along at the right points, noting where the orphan faltered and where the mini mind walker filled in for him.

Reading between the lines told the Toad Sage much more than what little his kids were verbally, and intentionally, giving him. A skilled, older sister figure to a fellow orphan, or rather a large group of brats if the small set of shinobi Namikaze gathered still met up as regularly as he thought they did. Since he had even overheard the snobbish Uchiha heir asking if his little minions had seen her recently, he had to conclude that was most likely. Something had them worried, but not something physically to do with the girl, they weren't concerned over her supposed death as much as they were concerned over her mental state. They knew nothing beyond when she was supposed to be back, just knew that this was the longest that Mesuji-san had been gone for.

In short someone that even the heirs of a large group of clans thought was important in some way, skilled enough to be of note to those looking over the academy for immediately useable talents for the waning war effort, and not currently able to meet up with her friends, probably not even in the village at the moment to begin with.

Adding that to the comment of Keiko-san's about the girl being pulled before even the next jinchūriki, meant that she had to be either Hunter-nin or ANBU. This Natsumi-sempai had to _still_ be in whichever branch if she was on mission and missing her projected return date by a week without KIA or MIA alerts going out to all chūnin or higher ninjas holding the name Mesuji and whoever she was out of the village with. Even still, it was a horrifying thought to realize a friend of his boys was neck deep in that side of shinobi life. Kids this age should still be playing with garden weeding missions and bodyguard babysitting duties, in his humble opinion. War or no. But it would account for any worry over her mental state. Heck, even he was now slightly worried for the girl.

Ignoring the polite fiction his two blond brats were weaving for him, Jiraiya sighed gustily, letting go of the niggling idea of returning to the bath house to continue listening to the current gossip among civilians and tugging a hand through his unruly hair. "It's going to be hard, getting information on this girl of yours, if you can't tell me which black ops branch she's with."

Inoichi looked faintly stunned at the blunt question but Minato nodded seriously and dropped any attempt of pretense to match the sannin's direct confrontation. "She's ANBU. Wolf-san is her taicho. We only saw him once, but that's what Natsumi-sempai called him before her graduation."

\V/

The night before the now very late ANBU squad would make for home, their last target had almost gotten to Sunagakure only to be misled by the assassin on the squad into dead-ending himself in a canyon native to the region they were in, Wolf took a seat next to the small figure of Panther perched on a rock similarly colored to her cloak and held out a ration bar for her to take.

The little assassin, on watch for the first quarter of the night, took it doubtfully and inspected it with narrow eyes through her mask.

"You need to eat more."

She snorted before carefully picking the wrapper apart to keep the noise down.

"Ate a while ago, taicho. While we were skipping along that deer trail and stalking some of our own on their way out." She took a bite anyways, peering at her captain in the fading twilight with miss matched eyes after she had swallowed. "What's wrong?"

Wolf cocked his head to the side and dropped the act, knowing by now that the girl would be suspicious of any favoritism he would show. Rightly so, since he used that mostly to alert the squad he wanted to talk with one of them and not to pamper the youngest there. Anything further meant he wasn't who he appeared to be and they needed to kill him before catching sight of Konoha. "How are you feeling with the kills you made so far?"

She was being oddly subdued and not the sly little assassin that had no problem messing with the other ANBU that tried hazing her, something that happened once the trees fell away and the scrub ground succumbed to sand. He was starting to wonder if the blood on her hands was weighing her down somehow, though she had never shown signs of it before.

The small figure shrugged, the motion almost lost in the dark and her oversized gray and tan cloak keeping the cold desert night out of her bones.

"Descriptive."

Panther-chan snorted lightly, losing the bland edge to her words as she accepted he was asking as an older shinobi to a younger ninja and not as her ANBU captain.

"I want to go home and bug Uchiha- _sama_ and his girlfriend so he sneers at me so I can grin and pick on him some more. I want to bother Namikaze and Yamanaka about their sensei's habits, to go have tea with the twins, and talk fūinjutsu with Uzumaki. But most of all, I want to do all that and make sure no one can murder them in the manner we killed these spies and traitors scratching at our doorstep." She made a throwing away gesture with the hand not holding onto the ration bar, since you didn't waste food you didn't have to cook while out of the village's walls. "Beyond that? I'm glad they're dead and we're not."

Wolf nodded once and left her alone for the rest of her watch, intending to get some kind of shuteye before his graveyard shift. That was good enough for him in the immediate future, though he made plans to drop off the younger ANBU agent with her blond friends. It was probably a good thing one was a psychologist in the making and she hung out with them when she could.

\V/

If he didn't know any better, Jiraiya would have said Hiruzen-sensei had been expecting him to ask much sooner about his boys' little missing friend than he had. For his excuse, tracking the name of a young girl and a captain's mask, familiar though that may have been, to a singular ANBU squad took some finesse in Konoha. Even for him with the recent boost to his reputation.

The Toad Sage drummed his finger tips on the arm of the chair he was occupying in the spacious Hokage's office, making polite conversation with the ambassador from Sunagakure while the older shinobi puffed on his pipe and looked through the drawers of his cluttered office desk for something. When the Hokage finally found the scroll he had been searching for, the sannin made their excuses to the ambassador and only pinned his old teacher with an exasperated look once the old civilian finally shut the office doors behind him. "So?"

"You never could leave a mystery alone, Jiraiya-kun." The scroll was tossed to him with little fanfare, the Sandaime directing a weary smirk to his most surprising student before blowing out a lungful of smoke and dismissing his ANBU office guards. All those years ago and standing between Orochimaru and Tsunade, he would have been hard pressed to find any worthwhile skills in the orphaned white haired boy with no family name he had been given along with their year's Rookie of the Year and the Senju heiress. Jiraiya had his own surprises to bring to the table though, along with his eventual interest in senjutsu, fūinjutsu, and mastery of the Toad Summoning Contract. A master spy in the works was now sitting before him, one that had a surprising success rate given the unorthodox methods employed.

The young man, still in his early twenties compared to Hiruzen's age which was rapidly approaching the half a century mark, rapidly scanned the ninja file in his hands, paled, and went back to the beginning to read it more thoroughly. The Hokage could almost _see_ the moment he read Bear's notations of young Mesuji's academy years, Wolf's additions on the kunoichi's skills, and _exactly_ where the ANBU assassin Panther was now.

"I thought border patrols were only given to ANBU squads when one member was out of commission for whatever reason. Not to _season a younger squad member_."

Sarutobi sighed wearily, removing his pipe from his mouth and rubbing the bridge of his nose as his student's furious glare was leveled on him. Jiraiya had always been an idealist, something that even the shinobi lifestyle had been unable to cure him of and something he had been unwilling to erase from the younger shinobi himself. Unfortunately, the war they had been fighting was not helping in bolstering that streak of hope his student stubbornly held in a death grip. Border patrols were ANBU's polite way of saying assassination likely missions to weed out spies and infiltrators in the forests around Konoha.

"We needed an assassination capable team to handle this patrol, given Intelligence is insisting that three known spies would be trying to return to their handlers this month. The ninja in question didn't protest-"

"Of course she didn't, she's _ANBU!_ " The sannin exploded, ranting furiously at the older man about the age of the girl and the injustice of having someone so young listed as a B-ranked assassin. It was safer to let the Toad Sage yell at his old sensei, rather than a high placed shinobi berating the Hokage about the division of younger ninjas. Jiraiya's rant eventually wound down, aided by the injuries that still pained the younger man from the fight with Hanzo, and the real reason he had been sent back to the village in the first place without his teammates.

The war had ground down to an uncomfortable halt two months ago with the end of the three day long fight between the team Sarutobi Hiruzen the Professor, the Hokage of Konohagakure, had taught against Hanzō the Salamander, the kage-level leader of Amegakure.

The three jōnin Sarutobi taught from genin on had already been known as the team of _sannin_ , the three shinobi, before the fight with Hanzō because they represented the dream team of Konoha's visible ninja ranks; a ninjutsu combat specialist, a subterfuge specialist, and a medical support specialist; and were known for three way teamwork comparable to the understanding between twin shinobi.

It was the kage-level leader of Amegakure that had labeled them the _legendary three ninja_ before his retreat from battle, and the title had caught on _everywhere_ according to the information the white haired sannin brought back with him.

Orochimaru and Tsunade had remained behind on the front lines to ensure the newly named _Densetsu_ _no_ _Sannin's_ presence was still felt even if they were down a team member, Jiraiya's skills as an up and coming spy master aiding him cover his retreat as conferring with their old sensei as the only reason he was back in Konoha. The polite fiction of being saddled with a genin team now that the war was winding down instead of being redeployed was the cover for recovering from the worst of his injuries, a number of them gained from covering his teammate's backs during the epic length fight.

Tsunade had been the one to initially order the Toad Sage back to the village for medical reasons, unable to treat all of the injuries Jiraiya had accrued in the field, aided by Orochimaru's stern lecture about taking care of oneself. The white haired man had been unable to argue in the faces of both the Snake Summoner's unusual worry and the Slug Princess' clinical evaluation and had left the frontlines to them as he returned with the reports and intelligence gathered outside the walls of the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

None of the great shinobi villages wanted to take on another that had both a kage and three other shinobi, now labeled _legendary_ by a legend himself and who combined held a kage's battle skills without the sensitive position the title held, without a lot of planning or sabotage to even the playing field. Frantic cease-fires were in the works from Ame, Iwa, and Kumo; leaving a large amount of ninja in all four villages antsy and tense with the lack of the usual missions and conflicts. Suna was secure in its position as Konoha's best support, and Kiri was oddly silent since the obliteration of a large force that tried to take out a good chunk of Sunagakure and failed due to a seven-year-old puppet master.

"So what would you have me do, Jiraiya?" Hiruzen puffed on his pipe as he calmly gazed back at his riled student. "At the time we sorely needed assassins, and she's doing well in ANBU by nearly all reports."

The Toad Sage only just kept himself from sneering at his old teacher. Doing well and half-baked was the assumption generally drawn from _that_ comment. ANBU was not filled with well-adjusted individuals by any account. Cold blooded assassinations purchased by wealthy civilians were the responsibility of ANBU, along with high profile seduction missions and kidnappings, and that sort of thing left its mark on even jaded ninjas.

Jōnin only took assassination missions and the like on when there wasn't enough ANBU to take all the missions directed to Konoha, and that was only during truly desperate times when they couldn't turn away the gold. He knew a few good natured ANBU members, his best friend outside his team was one, but they were outweighed by the number of ANBU he would never trust at his back given the type of missions they carried out. He never could figure out why the shadow ranks were so loved by civilians and genin alike.

Hiruzen smirked a bit more broadly when the white haired man slumped into his chair, well aware that Jiraiya probably wasn't thinking good things about the shadow guards of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. He puffed on his pipe again, only to almost choke on the lungful of smoke at his student's next statement.

"I'll take her."

The Sandaime blinked, looking sharply over to where the file was in his student's hands before back up to Jiraiya's serious face. "What?"

"I'll take her on, Natsumi-san that is."

The Toad Sage waved the file in his hands at his old teacher, consequently waving the smoke out the open window as well. He was warming up to the idea even as he justified it to his Hokage.

"I wouldn't give Keiko-san long after her first C-ranked mission. She'll probably flake out given what I've seen out of her so far." The white haired man tugged his free hand through his mane with a gusty sigh and scowled out after the dissipating pipe smoke. "She'll be a career genin for her term of service, never see an actual battle, retire at twenty and probably seamlessly go back to being a civilian afterwards to raise two kids with a husband who wouldn't hurt a fly."

Hiruzen grimaced and tilted his hat over his eyes as he accepted his student's analyses of the girl on his team. Jiraiya was a good analyst of human nature, he had to be with his skills, and that meshed with the collective assumption among the academy instructors. They had protested his placing the girl with the two blond boys with so much talent initially to begin with, but she did have the scores at the time for a high placed genin team. "She passed my bell test, didn't she?"

Jiraiya grunted a grudging affirmative.

"Only because Minato-kun all but hit her over the head with the teamwork angle to snatch the bells before deciding what to do with them. He and Inoichi-kun had to drag her away to hammer that through to her after her first pitiful attempt at getting a bell. Honestly, I would have dropped the girl before long anyways, she's way too set in her ways to adapt and be a good kunoichi above genin rank. Natsumi-chan, on the other hand," the scroll was waved in the air between the two of them again, "has both the history and skills to seamlessly join up with my boys if I drop Keiko-san. You could even argue that Mesuji-san's too skilled for a genin team, though she might need the experience to round out any rough edges in her general skill sets and someone to figure out _why_ she can't use anything besides this assassination technique she's noted for."

"Hmm… I have no objection to you taking her on, if the cease-fires continue." As a matter of fact, the Sandaime also had to find something else to do with the other three generally genin aged ANBU agents as well as the five about chūnin aged ANBUs if the war truly was stopping with the show of power from Konoha against Ame. If Jiraiya could figure out and solve Panther-chan's difficulty with jutsus she'd be an A-ranked assassin in no time at all, able to take out other C to A-ranked shinobi by herself instead of E-ranked civilian targets to _maybe_ B-ranked ninjas in a squad now, and a good return for the sannin's time and effort compared to the girl that had them now and would never get to be a C-ranked general kunoichi at the very least. "You will need to make up a suitable reason to drop … Keiko-san, was it? Keiko-san onto the Genin Corps full time. One that preferably _won't_ get the civilian council up in arms over discrimination against civilian born ninjas, Jiraiya-kun."

The Toad Sage grimaced at the thought of telling the girl on his team he was dropping her. That was surely going to go over as well as a ton of bricks with Keiko-san, though he didn't see any real protest from his boys coming out when they got wind of her replacement. "Alright, Hiruzen-sensei. Let me know when Natsumi-chan gets back to the village and I'll swing by ANBU headquarters to pick her up."

"I have a better idea." Sarutobi smirked over his pipe at his suddenly wary student. "We can tell her now."

Before the white haired man could ask what the Professor meant by that, four figures suddenly jumped through the open window, landing in the crouch of reporting ANBU before the desk.

Jiraiya sharply took in the smallest member of the reporting squad as the team captain handed over their mission scroll and four individual reports to the Hokage to skim before filling it all away at the ANBU HQ. The cat mask on the young teen was painted with wide black curves up both sides, starting from her jawline to cover the eye holes and stretching to her temple, leaving the rest bone white. He pressed his lips together as he mentally connected the black and white feline mask to the ANBU title Panther.

_Hello, neko-chan._

(ooo000ooo)

"Ah, one moment Wolf-san. I need you and Panther-chan to remain behind." Sarutobi Hiruzen stated calmly as he lowered his lit pipe when Wolf, Jackal, Horse, and Panther tensed to leave the same way they had come in. The two named hesitated while the remaining half of their squad left to report back to ANBU HQ. "Remove your masks, please."

Straightening up to the standing position of a shinobi reporting to their kage instead of the crouched position of ANBU heeding the Hokage's will, both Wolf and Panther took off the painted clay masks hiding their features from view.

Natsumi raised an eyebrow when her captain's mask dragged the black hood off his head, and stared at the twentyish-year-old man when his identity finally perforated her surprise that she got to see her captain's face. Her captain was freaking _Hatake Sakumo_ , if the silver hair and gray eyes were anything to go by. Then again, with hair that bright, it was no wonder her captain hid it behind standard issued head wraps.

Still, poleaxed by revelation that _Konoha's White Fang_ was her captain, she missed the initial greetings between the older men.

"-with the end of hostilities on the horizon, you do understand why we are bringing the issue up, Sakumo-kun."

Natsumi rejoined the waking world at the end of the Hokage's sentence, and briefly wondered what her kouhai's and Inoichi-kun's sensei was doing in the room as the older man puffed on his tobacco. She looked up to her captain, still slightly sidetracked by the man's gravity defying hair free of the hood. Wolf-taicho, or Hatake-sama or -san or whatever suffix she was supposed to put behind his name now she knew he had one; had a furrow between his silver eyebrows, the lower half of his face still covered by ANBU's standard issue facemask like her own. He was a shocking lookalike to what Hatake Kakashi was drawn as, even without the tilted hitai-ate over one eye and porn in hand.

"I was more thinking to take her on myself, Hokage-sama." Sakumo drawled in his ANBU voice, the one that told them everything and nothing at the same time. "She'd be a good kenjutsu mistress once she has the reach for it."

The Hokage nodded absently at the news, dark eyes flicking over to his white haired student. "Until that time, I would like Natsumi-chan to be placed with Jiraiya-kun and his team as the kunoichi for Team Seven. Not to damage the reputation any competence of yours, Sakumo-kun, but since young kunoichis are not generally apprenticed to an older shinobi by themselves until fourteen or sixteen years of age, it would be better all around."

That small furrow between her captain's eyebrows disappeared, and Natsumi had to hand it to the old man. That was a skillful twist to get two of his at _least_ jōnin ranked shinobi to share a student. Then – _wait._

_What?_

"Hokage-sama?" She blurted out, horrified. They were talking about _her?_ Jiraiya was _Minato's_ sensei, and Sakumo was _Kakashi's_ father!

The Fire Shadow smirked down at her as he blew out a gust of smoke. "You will be placed on Jiraiya-kun's team since the war seems to be over for the moment, and after you gain most of your major growth you'll be apprenticed to Sakumo-kun full time. Is that alright with you, Natsumi-chan?"

The girl with mismatched eyes nodded furiously, ignoring that the question had been mostly hypothetical. When your shinobi warlord told you to march, you got to marching before asking how far or how long.

"Um … what about my- _our_ squad, Hokage-sama?" She pointed to both herself and her captain.

"You will have to be replaced for the interim, of course." The older man nodded with a kind smile softening the amusement he had shown at her, in approval of the girl's worry. At least ANBU hadn't managed to affect that side of her yet. "You will be tapped on occasion when an assassination is needed from the squad. But only if another assassin can't be tasked with it."

He glanced again to the white haired man standing impassively next to his desk, staring at the young girl.

"Of… of-course, Hokage-sama. Taicho?" She looked to the silver haired man standing next to her, inwardly panicking about the repercussions on the future as she knew it.

Sakumo looked down at his youngest squad member, smirking faintly at her bewildered look. With her pale but oddly colored eyes and that expression, she looked like the lost waif she really was and not the grim assassin the ANBU ranks knew her as. "You'll need to return most of your standard issue, Panther-chan. Keep a set of armor, a uniform, and a field kit, but replace the rest with standard genin grade gear for day to day use."

Honestly, he couldn't argue with Hokage-sama's decision even if he was taking his fourth squad member after his squad had _finally_ gotten used to the girl sized assassin. He had been of the opinion that Panther, _Natsumi-chan_ , and the others snatched out of the academy deserved more of a childhood than they had and she would now get under Jiraiya's care. He was immeasurably proud of her for keeping up the best she could and becoming a good squad mate even with the handicap of her age, ever since he had been tasked with finding a new fourth member after Rooster's death on a recon mission in Kumo and got caught up in Bear-sama's skimming off the top of the academy graduates.

The impersonal habits between ANBU members within their headquarters hadn't let him tell her that, and she probably didn't think of him as more than her captain on the rare times during the last six months when she could be out behind her mask, but this was a good way to make up for turning her into a killer. She was due some 'visible' time as a Konoha genin anyways, to keep up with her public image. The man rubbed one side of his chin, tugging down the facemask as he realized he was still covered.

"You'll need to find a way to cover your ANBU tattoo now, too."

Natsumi-chan nodded shakily at his order, saluting him and Sarutobi-sama before bowing to Jiraiya and the Hokage and jumping out the window and disappearing before anything else could be dumped on her, something he really couldn't blame her for. Turning back to the other shinobi in the room Sakumo ruffled his hair out of exasperation, making it stand up more than it had been. "You could have let me break it to her in a less formal setting, Hokage-sama. Hell, you could have given me a heads up beforehand."

"True. But that wouldn't have been much fun. It is always amusing to mess with my ninjas' worldviews, and messing with ANBUs' is a fun all it's own."

Jiraiya finally laughed, gesturing for the ANBU captain to take a seat as he did so himself. "That was Natsumi-chan? I was expecting someone more… substantial."

Sakumo gave his old friend a half serious glare after the Hokage nodded that it was fine if he wanted to sit. "Saa, not everyone looks for a girl's measurements in determining how useful they'll be, letch."

Hiruzen harrumphed around his pipe, ending the good natured argument before it could get going. Knowing the two of them as he did, they could go all night if someone broke out the sake. "Sakumo-kun, I have a few things you'll need to pull a temporary member for your ANBU squad. But for right now, I've a few questions about Natsumi-chan before the two of you get caught up telling tall tales to each other."

Hatake cocked his head to the side, much like his mask's namesake or the man's family Summons would when confused. "Oh?"

"This technique of hers, the one she uses to disorient a target as she wishes. I've heard much from Bear-kun about it. Do you know how it works?"

"Unfortunately, I can't do it even if I understand what it is doing. Though with what _she_ can do with it, I'm rather thankful she can't teach anyone." Sakumo grimaced as he recalled the girl trying to explain it to him after he caught her casting it on the worst of her hecklers in ANBU. He caught Jiraiya's inquiring expression and elaborated. "It's one of the reasons we've haven't missed a target with all the assassinations we've had recently and only a B-ranked assassin on the squad. A crude summery of the jutsu is a minute amount of flux in a double layered Hawk Eye technique; makes you think that flash of color out of the corner of your eye was someone coming after you or a flash of a blade and not just the scenery, or convinces you that the shape you can make out in the distance was only a interestingly shaped rock and not a shinobi. She made one of the targets skewer himself on Jackal's knives by playing around with it once. The poor sod never realized Jackal was there, and he was standing in full view waiting for the target."

It was possibly a start of a bloodline similar to the Hatake's White Chakra Nature if it really was the result of the purple shaded chakra Natsumi had, but with the face the girl had made at that idea made Sakumo think she thought differently. It would be a pity if the little assassin was right, because that possibility was the main reason Bear-sama had initially assigned the girl to him in the first place. Although, she had proven her ability in the shadow ranks with her one and only jutsu even if she wasn't the start of something as grand as a kekkai genkai.

The Toad Sage winced and ran a hand over his jaw and mouth. That was something pretty powerful in the hands of a not yet thirteen-year-old girl. No ninja would be able to resist checking up on any kind of threat they caught sight of, answering the few questions he had over Natsumi-chan's rather high assassin ranking with her chakra troubles. "How does it do against the dōjutsus? Or even those with heightened senses?"

"Haven't had the time to test it yet." The silver haired man admitted with a sly, wolfish grin showing a slightly protruding canine. "I suppose that is something you get to play with."

Jiraiya responded with a rude gesture to his old friend and fellow academy year mate.

Hiruzen opened his mouth to ask about the only other irregularity in the girl's file when one half of the ANBU team assigned to the marketplace appeared in a flash of smoke. "Hokage-sama, two shinobi from Kumogakure have just kidnapped Uzumaki-san."

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi managed to return most of her ANBU kit without any issues, tucking the mask and tantō, which would never be returned to the general ANBU stores in her lifetime, away in a backpack as she left the ANBU headquarters and stepped out of the sight blocking fūinjutsu array that hid the passage from civilian view.

She was small enough that both fit comfortably in the overlarge pack with her few personal effects and remaining sets of kunai, senbon, razor wire, and the bladed, lacquered hair sticks Horse had helped her get when their mark had been some wealthy merchant with a liking for young girls a month before their last mission. Pity about the kimono and matching obi, but the two female ANBU members wouldn't have gotten rid of the bloodstains with any amount of cleaning products after the week long run to the border right afterwards letting them set in.

Horse had even hugged her before she left the barracks with what little she had in possessions, and that had been… rather creepy, actually.

At least Jackal had only waved goodbye at her.

The tiny tea shop that existed over the underground headquarters of Konoha's shadow guard was ran by a terminally forgetful old woman, current rumor from the trainees held her as the elderly mother of Bear-sama, who beamed and waved whenever the numerous and polite but drably dressed people came by her counter either to just greet her kindly or get a pot of tea to share between them. The newly benched ANBU assassin considered getting a pot of tea for herself and taking the time to think about that day's events trying to knock her for a loop, but her desire to jump her kouhai about her new circumstances won out over her desire to plot like some kind of fictional villain.

Besides, she was a few days late to meet up with at least one person of their little group and her captain always found her no matter what she did.

Scratch that, she was nearly a full week late, and knowing Minato-kun's worrywart habits she had better get a move on.

The brat had gotten better at kicking her ass in their infrequent spars since he became one of the Toad Sage's students. Unfortunately.

Checking one last time that everything that marked her as ANBU was hidden under the loose fitting standard issued Genin Corps uniform in green, given to her from supply in place of her ANBU ones, the woman in a girl's body left the tea shop and struck out to Training Grounds Three. As infrequent as their spars may have been for the last half year she still knew that if the two blond boys had free time they would be found either there or at the Yamanaka's clan grounds unless they made plans with the others, and the training grounds were closer.

Jumping up onto the tea shop's roof with the help of a nearby fence due to her short legs, she made for the third training ground from the Hokage's Tower.

The roofs were the accepted method of ninja travel while inside the village, simply because it _was_ so visible. If you went more than three roofs without being greeted by someone else even with a short nod, which normally covered a fourth of a district with how long one 'roof' was, ANBU normally pulled you aside and made sure you really were a Konoha nin and not an infiltrator. Even ninja on the ground were not sparred from the faux-casual identity checks, though the Uchiha Military Police normally covered that.

That, and the visible presence of the shinobi protectors of the village kept civilian moral higher. It was hard to fear for one's life when you can catch sight of the guards that would give their lives for you by simply looking around or up.

She had the rather flimsy excuse of being ANBU to answer the challenge to other ANBU, and that was the only reason her mask was within reach and not left in ANBU HQ like normal. Even knowing general ANBU hand signs wouldn't keep her from a short tour of T&I if someone wanted to make sure she was who she said she was. Her ANBU tattoo, something that would even raise the eyebrows of most shinobi given her age, was plastered on the back of her left elbow and covered by bandages doubling as arm wraps. She had to go back to the Hokage's Tower later and get a genin standard living quarters in some crappy apartment building to dump her stuff in, but that could wait a bit.

It was the first time she had taken the roofs without Horse and Jackal with her, or even Wolf-taicho, or kitted out as an ANBU; and the unfamiliar feel of her mask-less face made her a bit self-conscious.

The trip was thankfully uneventful since Tsubaki-sensei managed to recognize and call out to her when she was passing the unusually busy marketplace near the clan districts, though her mind was spinning like the exercise wheel of a hamster even as she shouted a reply on her way past. She did get the eyeballing glare of an Uchiha policeman once, although that was probably from bouncing off an awning to cross one of the main streets rather than her current status as a Konoha genin.

 _Hatake_ _Sakumo_ was her captain! It seemed like whenever she could settle her mind to this life, her past one smacked her upside the head with another person that she _knew_ was destined for a horrible end.

On hindsight, taicho was freaking _hot_.

Damn her redeveloping hormones, but in another life she would have no problems being labeled a cougar just to wake up to that face every day. Which thinking about made her feel like some kind of deviant, because she wasn't supposed to be old enough to appreciate that kind of thinking yet… or something.

Was she old enough now so that it wouldn't seem completely wrong to say something along those lines? Half of her humor was built around perverted barracks jokes, and editing that out of her normal speech patterns was giving her a constant headache when talking to her fellow academy year graduates. She was counting down the years until she didn't have to hold herself back anymore.

Not to mention she caught sight of the newly legendary Jiraiya of the Sannin, the Toad Sage himself. Minato's sensei and Naruto's godfather, unmarred by the horror that was the Kyuubi attack and his student Pain's turn to Uchiha Madara's side. The relative age of the people around her sometimes threw her for a loop all its own, namely because Jiraiya hadn't had that wart on his face yet or the crags of time worn worry. Even the red streaks down his face were only halfway to the point she remembered.

Still! _Sakumo_ was the man behind the Wolf mask, the shinobi she called taicho for nearly a whole year!

He was so damn handsome it was unfair!

He wasn't famous yet, though she was sure that wouldn't happen until he established himself as a jōnin outside of the ANBU ranks. From what little she could blearily recall, the White Fang of Konoha would end up on par with the sannin team members before his ill-fated mission. The same sannin team that just fought a kage to a standstill not four and a half months ago, even if they all were supposed to be back in the village for whatever reason a full year ago now.

Natsumi had to wonder if Jiraiya-sama would have gotten a genin team even if he hadn't been injured before his return, she knew only because the smell of blood was a familiar one to the misplaced soldier and the sannin had the faint reek of blood. Fresh blood that was, rather than the stale stench she was so used to from traveling in bloodstained uniforms. The rumors around the academy at the beginning of her final year said _a_ sannin was supposed to take on a team then, and the Toad Sage had only gotten Minato-kouhai and Inoichi-kun's team four months ago once Tsunade-hime had kicked him off the front lines near the end of their final year.

Wasn't he supposed to have wandered around for a year or so to teach the boy that became Pain, some other boy, and Konan?

Was that last year or was it still supposed to happen yet?

Reigning in her badly wandering thoughts, a habit she really had to kick since it would probably get her killed eventually, Natsumi finally found her two blond friends.

The situation was so odd, though, she reflexively dropped back into ANBU protocols and simply watched it unfold at first.

She thought her kouhai _hated_ his fangirls' clinging to him.

(ooo000ooo)

Keiko gasped for breath, holding firm to Minato's clothing. "J-just came from… _Uzumaki!_ "

That one word had both boys freezing in place in the act of trying to pry their female teammate from the shorter blond's person. Inoichi blinked blankly at her but Minato went still and calm, almost to a freighting degree.

"What about her, Keiko-san?"

As the story of being in place to hear of the fūinjutsu specialist's kidnapping came out, stuttered between gasping breaths, the mini Yondaime seemed to turn to ice even as the mind walker's jaw dropped lower.

"Inoichi!" Minato _barked_ , making his best friend jump a foot in the air. "Find Jiraiya-sensei and tell him what's going on. I'm going after Kushina."

He all but tore himself free of Keiko's hold and sprinted away before the Yamanaka could comment or protest.

He had sort of taken full command of their small clique after so long spent managing the airs of the clan heirs against the unruly edges of the orphans and lesser clan kids that the idea of him not being responsible for the well-being and manners of the group members didn't even occur to him. Minato was too used to the academy instructors making small comments against the manners of the others, the chūnin instructors fully expecting him to manage the whole group all through the three years he spent there. Even though he relied a lot on his sempai's coaching, when she wasn't the one causing problems in the first place, to work through a lot of it.

He ran for the village's main gates like the hounds of hell themselves were on his heels, the only thought going through his head was that he needed to get Kushina-san back or Mikoto-chan would never forgive him… and for that matter neither would Fugaku-san on his betrothed's behalf.

"I'll watch his back, Inoichi." The familiar voice had the shocked two left in the clearing twisting around only to face a masked visage of a rather short ANBU agent. It was the eyes behind the black and white mask that informed them who this was, those were two different but familiar colors, making the girl splutter in shock and the mind walker nod firmly even as he paled to see Natsumi-chan decked out as one of the ANBU he only saw when there was some kind of trouble in the village. "Jiraiya-sama was in the Hokage's office half an hour ago."

She pitched the backpack she had at the Yamanaka's feet, after stuffing the clothing she had worn over her white armor into it and after snagging the tantō and a brace of senbon, before taking off after her future Hokage.

Inoichi swept it up, still pale from both the news and the girl-woman's reappearance, and took off for the Hokage's Tower nearly in the opposite direction.

Keiko was left blinking at the abruptly empty training grounds. "…what?"

(ooo000ooo)

"So… " The voice almost had Minato tripping over his own feet, as it was he barely managed to keep upright as his no longer missing sempai's voice reached him. "Kidnappings… fun. Do you know who took her?"

He risked a sideways look at the familiar figure of a short ANBU running at his back and almost wilted in relief. Natsumi-sempai never was without an answer in the academy, and the younger shinobi didn't see her being without one even if they weren't academy students anymore. She currently had her ANBU mask pushed up so he could identify her, swiftly yanking it down again when he nodded in acknowledgement of her identity.

"Not really." He was a little worried the older girl would take offense to the short sentence, but he was running and wanted to keep his breath for more running.

"Well, there are three ways out of the village that I know of. Four, if you count the one that leads through Training Ground Forty-Four." How unfair was that, when the misplaced soldier had the breath to keep up with a full conversation when he didn't? Though, he could hear the hitch in her breath under that mono-toned ANBU's voice that told him she was expanding stamina just talking to him. "We can rule that one out, no one's that stupid to risk a place known as the _Forest of Death_ with a hostage hampering them and ANBU patrolling the way. The main gates are a possibility, but way too showy with the full teams of chūnin and ANBU guards stationed there. Then there's the jōnin gate and the merchant's gate."

The ANBU paused and hummed a little as they finally got to the main roads and could roof hop.

"I'd rule out the jōnin gate, though. It has almost as many checks as the main. The merchant gate is most likely, given that passes are issued only to civilians and I've done an infiltration in Kumo by exploiting that kind of flaw."

Minato wordless changed course, giving the girl-woman just behind him a dirty look for the mention of a non D-ranked mission.

"Hey, you want more exciting missions faster than you've gotten? Should have gone ANBU."

The future Yondaime gritted his teeth and kept running. There wasn't much one could say to that, and his sempai had paid through the nose for that decision.

She kept silent after that, though Minato had been halfway expecting a snort for his own silence or some breathless quip with his sempai at his back. The lack of horrible jokes or anecdotes had the blond slightly worried for his older female friend since she hadn't been that quite the last time he saw her.

She had been entrenched more and more with ANBU over the last few months, true, withdrawing from them and instead of being his slightly cracked Natsumi-sempai became one of the shadowy figures used to scare civilian children. Her latest mission had even overrun by a week and a half if the armor that she hadn't had the time to return was anything to go by.

A lot could happen in a week, as the orphan fully knew.

She had to be low on chakra or something to round off whatever was bothering her, because jumps that just took him but a moment took her two after finding something to give her a leg up.

He had to wonder if her disassociation with reality was popping its ugly head up again, or if a teammate had been killed and she was suffering from a renewal of her survivor's guilt. Natsumi-sempai's brand of nuttiness was almost hard to take, especially when she swung around to doubting their existence after something didn't mesh with the world as she had known once.

It had hurt the first time, when she admitted around a campfire in the Nara compound's back yard that she was sure she was either insane or dreaming in some medically induced coma somewhere. Hearing that coming out of the mouth of a girl who had suggested putting each other down as the next of kin since they both were orphans had been jarring, because besides the apathy to the academy curriculum anyone could have seen he hadn't even suspected she thought that way.

 _Back in the good old days when nuts were nuts and good friends were almost all you needed_ , Minato thought to himself, feeling guilty about thinking it even in the privacy of his own head.

Inoichi had validated Natsumi's past life to the rest of them that had gathered that night, though they really should get on telling the other two girls about it. It was hard to think about telling someone else though, given how _broken_ the misplaced soldier had been after the mind walker had forced her to tell them about her death in her last life.

 _That_ a day he would never be able to forget anytime soon.

She was still behind him even with whatever was wrong going on, giving sorely needed operational backup in a time when he didn't have the time to explain more than the basics and he couldn't see the now chūnin Uchiha Fugaku-san or Hyūga twins doing that without a lot of convincing. Inoichi-kun and Shikaku-kun maybe, Akimichi Chouza-kun probably, and Mikoto-chan would have ran him over; but that would be only if they knew the full circumstances beforehand.

The touch of Natsumi-sempai's hand on his shoulder drew him out of his thoughts, the alarmed sort of expressions the guards of the merchant gate wore catching his eye. How the girl-woman knew he had been lost in his own thoughts was shoved to the back of his head along with the rest of his sempai's varied issues.

She was probably a good ANBU agent if she was still in half a year later, and that's all that mattered for the moment until they got back and he could force her into sitting down with Inoichi to fix up what had gotten broken again.

Nodding to the guard, he barely slowed enough to gasp out 'kidnapping' at the guards before they let the two out. With Natsumi-sempai decked out as one of the unspoken shadow guards of the village giving the stationed ANBU guard some hand signs he couldn't understand, no one argued.

Out in the forest around Konoha was different than inside the village. While the ANBU shadow at a blond genin's back would only raise eyebrows and eventually get back to her captain, in the forest tipping their hands about the shadow guard would only tell the kidnappers how much force they could apply to get Kushina back.

Instead of continuing to run just behind him, Natsumi faded into the background like the shadow she had become and leaving Minato alone to panic momentarily about how he was going to find the redheaded and missing kunoichi.

Right up until the lone strand of red hair caught his eye.

(ooo000ooo)

Kushina cursed out the Kumo shinobi in her head as she wiggled the fingers of one hand, keeping herself still to minimize the damage the older one's shoulder was doing to her stomach. Gagged and bound, the girl from Uzu couldn't do much but pull out a strand of red hair from the clump in her hand and let it drift down to the ground.

Her main hope was that an Inuzuka hound or an Aburame kikachu would follow it and the others she had pulled out back to her once the news of her missing got around to Hokage-sama and Mito-baa-sama. With the firm way the Kumo nin was holding her over one shoulder, it wouldn't do much to struggle and would possibly get her too injured to attempt an escape later on, so she was limited to leaving a trail of red strands holding a fraction of a fraction of her chakra for someone to follow.

They eventually stopped once dusk had started to set in, the two Kumo morons determined to take advantage of Fire Country's forests to hide them. She could have told them even she, who had not been born to this county, could tell their little dugout was obviously not animal made.

Oh yeah, no she couldn't because of a gag. Sucked to be them.

With nothing to do but fume and gnaw at the strap of cloth over her mouth, she glared at the closest shinobi to her. They were ignoring her, and consequently missed the soft thunk of a kunai embedding itself into the ground next to her bound feet.

The Uzumaki took swift advantage even as she looked around for more and hopefully Konoha aligned ninjas hanging around, hooking the razor sharp metal over the rough rope holding her feet together. The kunai sliced through it, nicking her own leg in the process but that was ignored with the new freedom. Using her exposed toes and the flat surface of her ninja sandals, Kushina got an awkward grip on the double edged knife and bent her body enough to transfer the kunai to her hands. After that it was child's play to remove the rest of her bindings and slink into the shadows of the forest before the Kumo-nin realized the Uzumaki girl had gotten free.

Two clearings over and almost to the main highway into Konoha, she ran almost bodily into a pale Namikaze Minato. The boy didn't even wait for her to apologize for nearly hitting him, but started to drag her back to where the village lay.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here, Namikaze?" The redhead hissed at him as she tried to free her arm.

"Shush. They're not too far away, Kushina-san."

Gaping at the terse reply, the future jinchūriki stopped struggling. Minato-san moved swiftly now that she had ceased resisting him, almost self-assured and totally different from the polite but quite boy she had known back at the academy. "Did… did you come after me?"

Namikaze blinked back at her, confused. "Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?"

Kushina went as red as her hair at his lost expression. "Not every girl dreams of being rescued, Namikaze! I'm doing fine rescuing myself, thanks."

So intent on the boy in front of her, she didn't sense the Kumo shinobi charging her back. Minato did, and swept Kushina against him with one arm and spun them around a thick tree to evade the grasping teen's reach. The fūinjutsu princess had only a moment to take in the full view of the Kumo-nin before a black and white blur came down on his lower back with a sickening crack. A short ANBU with a half black cat's mask had just driven his knee into the ninja's spine, probably breaking it.

Minato winced as the ANBU knocked the ninja out before he could do more than choke on the escaping air from his lungs. "Did you have to do that, Natsumi-sempai?"

The redhead _gaped_. Natsumi-chan with the two colored ghost eyes had just broken someone's _spine_? The odd kunoichi that gave her and Mikoto-chan boy advice in her second year in the academy and kept her company through the third? Then the girl blinked and took in the reality of the situation. _Natsumi-chan made it into ANBU_. Of course she broke the spine of a kidnapper of a fellow Konoha shinobi. It was regulation to hamper the escape of prisoners, though probably not in such a final manner. It also explained why she had only shown up after graduation a few times to see her if she had been pulled into ANBU instead of getting a genin team like everyone else had.

The ANBU girl gave her kouhai a short gesture that he didn't get, if his huff told her right. Natsumi then turned back to the two of them, inclining her masked face to a wide-eyed Kushina in greeting before making the standard Konoha hand signs for 'second target', 'inbound', and 'remain' before melting into the shadows of the forest again, seeking out the other threat to her future Hokage and his not-yet-wife.

Minato obediently kept quiet but also kept a hold on her, letting Kushina think about all she had learned in the short few minutes. Namikaze had come after her with only one ANBU as back up, probably as soon as he heard about her. His ANBU shadow probably followed the blond boy while either on duty or on her way home, but that she attributed to mostly luck.

Mesuji Natsumi she could understand, the girl had helped her immensely with the aftermath of her home country's destruction by being there and apparently kept up with her fūinjutsu study even with her free time severely curtailed by ANBU just so she could discuss sealing with her on the rare occasions they met up since graduation. The girl with mismatched eyes was just quietly helpful like that when not cracking awful jokes.

Though, there hadn't been many of those in the past few months and she now felt foolish for assuming it had to do with the war and not something affecting the girl herself.

Namikaze Minato on the other hand, wasn't looking at her like the dopy eyed boys that tried to gain her affections before she hit on a working method to keep them away. He was peering in the direction the Kumo-nin had appeared from, trying to pick out the form of the other shinobi before he could spot them. Intent on keeping her from harm, even if she had protested it. The boy was their year's Rookie of the Year, but she hadn't thought much of him at the time of Mito-sama pulling her out of class. The blond never wanted to spar with her, and spent most of his time in the academy keeping the peace between the clan heirs.

This boy was different that that easygoing kid from the academy.

The rustle of the leaves around them jarred both of them, but Minato only relaxed when the white haired form of his sensei dropped to the ground next to the paralyzed Kumo ninja along with a few of Natsumi-sempai's presumably fellow ANBU. The sannin grimaced at the broken teen, casting a glance to where they were against a tree before waving the ANBU off to where the Kumo shinobi had come from and where the girl had disappeared to. "You two okay, gaki?"

Minato-san nodded and finally released her and Kushina timidly smiled up at the Toad Sage. Crouched though he was, the older shinobi was still taller than them and a welcome sight.

"Natsumi-sempai's not going to get in trouble for this, is she?" The blond asked with a beseeching look to his sensei.

The redhead blinked in shock as her smile fell into a worried frown. Right, Natsumi-chan was ANBU. No one was supposed to know that but her fellow ANBU members. She was probably in a lot of trouble for letting herself be identified behind her mask by a pair of genin even if it was during a rescue of a kidnapping victim.

"That little neko-chan's lucky I've decided to take her on in Keiko-san's place. I'll keep her out of most of it, Minato-kun." The white haired man glanced back down at the figure laying at his feet. "Was she always so protective, or is this something new?"

"It developed in our second year at the academy and didn't really get any better since." The lone Namikaze alive admitted sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head, probably thinking about how much worse her protective urges would had gotten under ANBU. "And… really?"

"Objections?" Jiraiya drawled, looking at how close the two of them were even with the threats dealt with.

Kushina blushed and hurriedly took a few steps to the side.

"Not from me, sensei." Minato grinned, completely oblivious to the older ninja's suggestive look and happy with how Natsumi-sempai would be added to his genin team. He and Inoichi could keep the girl-woman in the here and now easier if she was with them.

If it would keep the other kunoichi from being in trouble for backing up Namikaze and coming out for her, the redhead was all for it. Though it was kinda annoying how the older girl made the blond boy light up.

"Scram then, the both of you. Once you get to the gates, you'll be escorted to the Hokage's Tower to wait for my return." The Toad Sage surged upright and took off after the ANBU squad he brought with him.

A tug on her sleeve got Kushina moving back to the main road to Konoha, still reeling from the day's events. A muffled cough brought her attention back to the boy walking next to her.

"These are yours." Minato placed a carefully bundled bunch of red strands into her hand, shoving his own into his pockets and looking away. "I've always admired your hair."

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi winced when a heavy hand impacted the back of her skull in a slap delivered upside her head when she landed on a branch. She glared at the white haired sannin through her mask, but kept quite as she and the older man fell back from the hunting ANBU squad she had led there chasing the lone Kumo-nin back to whatever transportation the two of them had arranged for Kushina-chan.

The sannin flicked his fingers in standard ANBU sign language as they retreated to Konoha, telling her of what Inoichi did after reaching him and the official story she was to stick to about the kidnapping. He also passed her back the pack she had stored most of her physical possessions in, speeding up a bit to let her sort herself out again as Natsumi and not Panther.

"So how much trouble am I in? Erm… sensei?" She asked as she reached the man's side again decked out like any ninja of the Genin Corps in kunoichi green.

"You're lucky I like troublemakers, neko-chan." Jiraiya grinned broadly at the girl's twitching blue eye. It was a bit unnerving to see two differently colored pale eyes in her face, but from what Sakumo had told him about her before it was confirmed that ANBU agent Panther was after the kidnappers of Uzumaki she had contacts that would cover that up during undercover missions. He sobered up a bit, and her expression smoothed out to match his serious look. "It would have been worse if you had wanted to remain an active ANBU. I'll sell your transference to my team as punishment to most of the shinobi ranks, but unofficially you're being sentenced to sitting on your fellow gakis for taking off like you did and only telling Inoichi-kun. Probably for a few _years_ for this stunt."

Natsumi shrugged, kicking a few stones embedded into the forest path they were on as she accepted that. Forced retirement for reckless behavior wasn't a bad sentence. It would sting anyone's shinobi pride but it would only mean some time and at least a few recommendations from her superiors before she would see any ANBU work now. "Aa, I still would have done it again."

"Which is why I'll make sure you're only getting a slap on the wrist for this and not being brought up on charges of dereliction of duty for not reporting it to anyone else before following my _other_ blond gaki." The Toad Sage sighed, firmly reminding himself that ANBU or not, Mesuji Natsumi was still an orphaned genin kunoichi now under his care, not a mini adult in charge of her own affairs. "I'm supposed to be lecturing you about the proper chain of command and all that formal stuff you probably know backward and forwards already, so you'll act all properly contrite when we get back to the village. And in the meantime, tell me what kind of worries you're little friends harbor about your head, hmm?"

"I'm a little surprised they haven't told you themselves yet." The assassin strolling along the forest paths with him admitted after a quiet moment. "I'll let Inoichi-kun tell you, he's better at explaining it than me. Something to do with severe disassociation with whatever and a few other things I don't listen to in defense of my poor sanity. He's most likely going to make me his little pet project now that I've got the time."

Jiraiya accepted that for the moment, they were out in the open instead of somewhere that could be monitored for eavesdroppers. He would get his answers, from either his students or the Yamanaka clan itself eventually. "Moving on then, why ANBU?"

"Inoichi-kun said pick a goal to focus on during my therapy sessions, and that was it."

He gave her a sharp look for tying that question back to his original one, but let it go. She wouldn't be able to wiggle out of all of his questions, and damn it all if he walked back to the village in silence like the girl was probably used to. Running after two thirds of his team had bothered the hell out of his injuries and he wasn't a quiet kind of guy in the first place. "The jutsu you developed?"

She flushed, snatching Jiraiya's waning attention. "That was a mistake. Well, not the developing it into a weapon bit, but when I stumbled into it. The Hawk Eye technique is only supposed to simply increase visual pickup, but I screwed up and overdid it then _overcorrected_ before the spar in low light with Wolf-err, Hatake-um… _taicho,_ and casted it on him instead of me."

Natsumi covered her eyes and gained a bit of color, recalling the incident with some embarrassment.

"I made him run into a wall, and cracked his mask."

The last bit was nearly mumbled into her hands and the Toad Sage grinned broadly. Blackmail! "A wall?"

The girl hunched into herself, shoving her hands into her pockets like another of his brats did when he did something embarrassing. "Then there was Jackal and the light pole, and I got Monkey with it once when I was working out the kinks. He almost took out a window in… well, it was dark and we only passed through that tiny collection of huts. Monkey's a _dick_ anyways. I got Lizard and Crow together after an incident with the showers, Tiger when the ass tried to trap my bunk. After that, taicho figured out it was me behind the rash of 'bad luck' in our sector of the division and they stopped hazing me. I only used it against targets after that."

The sannin snickered, then started laughing as he imagined his friend running into a wall and a stuck up ANBU sabotage specialist tripping through a window. He really hoped whatever was wrong with Natsumi-chan wasn't anything major, it would be a pity to sentence the girl to the mental ward of the hospital if that was the kind of thing she thought up in self-defense.

\V/

After the worst of the hubbub over Kushina's kidnapping was over Jiraiya dragged his newly configured team plus one to his empty apartment, since it was past midnight and Mito-sama and the Yamanaka clan head agreed to it for the night, and dumped his kids and the add on onto the floor of his barren living room. "Tea, anyone?"

He wanted something a bit stronger, since he had to drop Keiko's new circumstances on her at the Tower, but he didn't think that would go over well with his impressionable brats.

Watching them pull themselves out of the puppy pile always made him smile, especially when young Minato went beet red when he grabbed a part of the redhead's anatomy he shouldn't have by accident. The retribution was also vastly amusing to watch and after the scuffle they finally all agreed, in the case of one cringing blond in a higher pitched voice than normal, to tea.

Natsumi merely smiled at him as he passed her a steaming cup of green tea, but the blond boys were nervous and the redhead clueless about what was supposed to be going on.

Inoichi looked so scared that the sannin highly doubted he would say anything, though from the direction he kept looking in it wasn't him the mind walker was concerned with. Mesuji apparently thought so too, so she started for them.

"Do you believe in reincarnation?"

(ooo000ooo)

Three arguments about life after death, two complete foreign languages written out, one visit from a very ancient and shocked toad to read said languages, another argument of letting the Yamanaka clan heir back into an ANBU's head however removed she was from her previous line of work, and one sealing array jointly worked out by four fūinjutsu users later; Jiraiya would grudgingly admit that it might be possible.

It helped that the seal array was playing out Mesuji's past death for him after a short summery of her previous life's technology after Inoichi's bid to get back in the reincarnated girl's head sparked an idea in Kushina-chan's.

The older man ran his hands over his face, glaring at the early morning sun now peeking out of his unreasonably large and unfortunately unadorned windows. Probably one of the reasons he preferred hotel rooms even in Konoha. "So, why the hell didn't you go to T&I with this?"

"Jiraiya-sensei, it took all night to convince you we weren't lying." The girl who had previously been a dead woman pointed out dryly, inwardly very thankful she had never gotten through to the Hokage if this was how all older shinobi would react to her past circumstances. "How likely do you think a chance to convince someone in Intelligence that I wasn't crazy with a story like this?"

The other kunoichi grunted from her slumped position on the newly retired ANBU's shoulder, slipping back to sleep when nothing further drew her out of it. Inoichi was as out of it as the redheaded kunoichi, flat out on his back with what little worldly possessions Natsumi had to her name under his head. Only Minato remained upright with the two of them, but he was flagging just as fast as them now that everything was settling down.

The sannin took another look at the scroll playing out the blood spattered desert scene again. Half of the seal was his, a third was Kushina's, and the rest was cobbled together with Minato's skills at decrypting his sempai's words and Natsumi's knowledge.

It really did explain much of the girl that was a little off, if it was true.

The Toad Sage closed his eyes, defeat squeezing through with the thought. As much as he didn't really want to believe it, he had no choice for the moment to at least take the explanation as is. Overlooking the obvious was practically a cardinal sin in their profession, after all. He made a mental note to burn the scroll before he passed out cold, since he knew the mangled, hodgepodge seal now anyways.

Pa Toad had understood the written language the ex-ANBU had handed over, remarking before dismissing himself that he hadn't seen the like since his own tadpole days. That was the most damning evidence the sannin had seen or heard all night. If even his own Summons believed the girl, then he really had to accept that his new kunoichi student was actually older than him by two decades, all years of her lives total. Kushina hadn't had much of a problem past Minato confirming that the girl wasn't bat shit insane, and the three genin and one ex-ANBU assassin had then turned their attention to convincing him.

Now he found himself in the same position as she did, and who wouldn't say he would have the same initial conclusions as her? Insane or delusional, with the additional question if a delusion called you sane, were you?

Most of all, the majority of his questions found themselves answered if he judiciously took in that reincarnation was actually possible.

"Alright gakis, bed. We'll continue this later."

Or never. He really wanted that drink about now.

\V/

Jiraiya probably saw more of the future clan heads than he wanted to over the week following the Uzumaki kidnapping attempt, but Minato wasn't as concerned about that as he thought he should be.

With his sempai back in the village indefinitely, he could make Inoichi keep an eye on her recovery from ANBU even if their sensei told them they couldn't ask about her stint in the black ops division, on the grounds of keeping village secrets. They could catch up with the others more easily with the official end of the Second Great Shinobi War not too long after the misplaced soldier's return to the village.

With the stunt Kumo pulled at the end the Hokage all but neutered them for a good while, and with rumors of Kiri turning in on itself from suddenly silent borders it left Iwa and Ame the only real threats to Konoha's strength since Suna remained firmly on their side of conflicts.

A group spar with all the skills they had learned in the war probably wouldn't do much for their sensei's blood pressure, but it had been too long since they had held one with everyone there. Not that everyone was participating, but with Chouza refereeing as usual and Shikaku napping in the shade to critique the spar later it was just like they never left the academy but better; with Jiraiya, Mikoto, and Kushina there instead of off on their own.

"Alright!" The Akimichi heir boomed out, ignoring the crack in his voice. "Nothing lethal, _Natsumi-chan_. Nothing to do with kekkai genkais, _Uchihas and Hyūgas_. _NO ninjutsus!_ Taijutsu and genjutsu only!"

Giving a slightly more effective admonishing glare at the combatants than he was able to during their academy years, Chouza dropped his hand to signal the start of the general melee and got the hell out of the way. If they hadn't listened to the rules before this, it was highly unlikely any of them would follow them now.

Like they had never stopped sparring with each other every day during the war, Natsumi darted to Minato's side and they took on the Hyūga twins as Inoichi turned on the Uchiha heir with Mikoto's and Kushina's help.

Jiraiya's laughter echoed in the background of Training Grounds Three as they divided and conquered the stuck up clan kids.

It was always more fun when his sempai had the time to cheat for them. Rather, as she maintained, if you weren't cheating to begin with you weren't trying hard enough.

(ooo000ooo)

Fugaku was nearly cross-eyed by the time Jiraiya got him to stop running into the trees with the Nara's help, but Natsumi was not helping matters by failing to contain her giggles. The other Uchiha had more sense, Mikoto was leaning on gleeful Kushina as she waited for the nausea to pass.

Apparently, _Hyūgas_ with their bloodline active were immune to the modified genjutsu the ex-ANBU had developed for her assassinations, but not _Uchihas_ with their kekkai genkai active.

Natsumi had set the sort-of genjutsu of hers on all four clan members with eye based bloodlines before the spar had started, and when both Mikoto and Fugaku disregarded Chouza's warning against the sharingan they caused a large number of major mistakes in the Uchihas' three on one spar. The Hyūga twins lasted longer once they started using their bloodline when they caught sight of the crimson flash of the Uchihas' sharingan, and escaped the worst of the consequences of the soon to be labeled _ANBU assassination technique_ but really only because the separation between the orphans had caused a fair few number of differences between Minato's developing academy style and Natsumi's brutal ANBU styled taijutsu.

Both Hizashi and Hiashi admitted to Shikaku in letting their taijutsu go in favor of expanding the range on their byakugan for tracking missions, something they intended to address before their next spar.

Jiraiya was managing his amusement at the Uchihas' discomfort better than his kunoichi with the odd circumstances, though he made a note to polish the girl-woman's taijutsu up once everything settled down. He wasn't giggling like little neko-chan as he wanted too, but the broad grin had yet to leave his face. "It would make sense that the byakugan is immune, since it simply sees through a lot. There isn't enough it can't to be affected. A sharingan just does what your little jutsu does naturally, so it increases the effects."

After the Uchihas' went down disorientated to the point of turning green, Inoichi and Kushina tested each other then started up seriously when it became apparent that neither Uchihas could continue. By the time the orphans took out the Hyūga twins with a mix of standard ANBU sabotage tricks and Minato's speedy reflexes, the red head had been ready and waiting for them.

Kushina had almost lost, but she pulled out a win against the two orphans suffering the effects of the Hyūgas' Gentle Fist style of taijutsu in the end. Now there was another set of rules the Akimichi heir needed to announce before any spar. No ANBU assassination techniques, and absolutely _no fūinjutsu_.

"I could have told you that." Shikaku drawled lazily from the shade, stretching out like a cat. Now that he knew what was going on, the genius had retreated to his previous position after freezing the Uchiha heir in place so Jiraiya could fetch him before Fugaku lost too many brain cells. It won him a lot of points with the Toad Sage. "It also won't work on an Aburame, they'll trust their kikachu over their own eyes, and those that can fight blind."

"You're not going to add Inuzukas to that?" The sannin asked lightly of the shadow master in training as he watched the newest member to his genin team reverse what she had done to the Uchiha's prized heir so he would be able to at least see straight.

"They still use sight to identify obstacles, but you couldn't use that against one to make them turn on their ninken. Their sense of smell would keep that from happening, but it would still confuse the hell out of them even so."

The Toad Sage hummed lightly, silently agreeing with Sakumo that the girl-woman used her weird purple taint to her chakra for the jutsu and making another mental note to find out _what_ the hell it was with Pa and Ma's help.

What the Nara heir concluded wasn't much of a flaw in the technique, given the likelihood of Natsumi-chan fighting Hyūga or Aburame clan members in a life or death situation or anything remotely approaching the damn near all-seeing shinobi clan or _bug_ wielding ninjas. The blind fighting might throw a bit of a monkey wrench into things, but that was so difficult to grasp and use in shinobi encounters that the chance of it was small. The only real trouble the girl sized ex-ANBU would have with assassinations then in a few years were those who also relied on another sense to help them separate fact from fiction or possibly those with hypersensitivity to their own chakra networks.

"Well, this is cozy."

The light tone of his female teammate snapped the sannin back to the situation at hand. Tsunade and Orochimaru had finally dragged themselves back to the village again and had sought the last member of their team out. The Snake Summoner was inspecting the remains of a tree that fell prey to Kushina's over the top explosive tag, and the Slug Princess was looking over the survivors of the spar and their collections of injuries with an arched eyebrow.

Even genin ranked ninjas' and ex-ANBUs' needed warning labels, apparently. These brats were vicious.

Senju Tsunade swiped a glowing green hand over the Uchihas' foreheads, then turned to deal with Inoichi's twisted ankle and still gushing broken nose with the same efficiency Jiraiya had seen on the frontlines. "Nasty genjutsu work. Who's was it?"

Natsumi just blinked up at the busty blonde woman, until a sharp elbow courtesy of one of the limping Hyūga twins prodded her forward. "Mine, Tsunade-sama."

"Who did you develop it under, girl?" Sharp gold eyes took in the waif like appearance of the ex-ANBU assassin holding onto her probably sprained or cracked ribs, already thinking of a diet to put something on the girl's bones other than her own skin.

"Sakumo-taicho's." Natsumi promptly replied with only a minor amount of wheezing, having already decided on the proper manner of address for her old ANBU captain who had the habit of checking up on her while her old squad was waiting on her permanent replacement.

Tsunade turned on him, and the Toad Sage waved his hands to stall the lecture he already could see coming as she switched brats to deal with Minato's mild concussion. "I got her last week, hime."

"She needs to eat more." The Slug Princess scowled darkly at him then frowned at Natsumi, who kept blinking her ghost eyes back up at the blonde innocently.

Jiraiya wasn't fooled, he knew that the girl-woman knew that just as well but ANBU field rations were not the healthiest thing out there and that was probably the only thing she had been eating prior to the war's end. Six months on a diet of basically protein energy bars and the occasional rabbit would be difficult with an adult's body size and weight, on Natsumi-chan's it probably just added insult to the injury of being orphan thin to begin with.

"And what the hell was she doing before if you only got an academy graduate last week?"

"Playing hide and seek." Neko-chan answered readily, forestalling the fiction Jiraiya had been about to give about KIA teammates and horrible brats. Well, it was sort of true, and he was sure the majority of the kids there _knew_ without anyone saying what the girl-woman had been doing prior to showing back up with him. Hard to believe that the Uchiha and Hyūga brats weren't somewhat upset with it, but he had caught them giving the stick figure of the assassin an alarmed look recently, and figured they didn't want to pay that price for something they wouldn't be able to brag about to each other.

Tsunade easily saw right through that, leaving the white haired man's male students to grab the young looking kunoichi's arm and run a medical diagnostic without hand signs. She was too good of a ninja to show surprise, but Jiraiya could see her lips tightening in the corners when the woman got to the ex-ANBU's chakra etched tattoo on the back of her left elbow.

"Perfect. You go _anywhere_ without some kind of snack on you while you're still under a hundred pounds, I'll hunt you down and _force_ the nastiest herbal concoction I have for weight gain down your throat."

Natsumi _beamed_ at that, and the Toad Sage could only shrug at Orochimaru's own raised eyebrow over the forest of short heads standing around.

Retired ANBU assassin, stood to reason she wasn't all there anymore if she wasn't all there to begin with.

\V/

Senju Tsunade wasn't a butch woman, really.

She was too much of a kunoichi for that to be true, still able to lead a man around by the balls in the traditional role of a female shinobi. Although, she probably would crush them with an 'unfortunate' muscle spasm at the same time.

She had the same hard-ass core to her Natsumi knew from lifelong female soldiers in her previous life. Added to the fact the medical genius was one of the more effective kunoichis the duel eyed girl had ever seen or heard, gave life to a minor amount of hero worship.

Totally ignorable.

The fact the Slug Princess had no problem punching the Toad Sage through a wall or two when he got perverted on them the last two weeks since the sparring incident was just icing on that cake.

Really.

Tsunade didn't know about the possibility of reincarnation or bloody desert nights or shadow laced assassinations, though she probably suspected the latter, and that made her safe in the way Jiraiya-sensei, her kouhai, and now even Kushina were not. Natsumi tagged along after her still new sensei's teammate more and more often when she was at a loss to do during her free time when the man said no more training and she didn't want to be with the teenagers of her own physical years, so she was treated to the totally bemusing prospect of being dealt with like the underweight teenager she _looked_ like.

She even met Senju Nawaki. For someone Naruto supposedly acted much like, he was small and snotty.

Probably because the kid was still in his toddler years.

Apparently, Tsunade-sama's parents had died in the field not too long after her brother's birth and she was availing herself on the Sarutobi clan's offer of help in caring for him while she had been fighting the war and Mito-sama was occupied with 'other things'.

There was some kind of emergency that day, so the ex-ANBU assassin found herself tasked with a comparable D-ranked mission on her lonesome… and an armful of toddler.

Little Nawaki was chewing on her sleeve instead of his rubber kunai, drooling all over it and giggling in that addictive way of the young almost babies, and Natsumi finally got around to thinking through the turns in her recent life as she let the toddler soak her shirt in spit.

 _Panther_ the ANBU assassin didn't have a past, any kind of future, no age group to deal with, skills only useful in killing people, and no friends aside of the squad mates she respected at most and a captain she would follow into hell at worst. It was a lot easier for her to be Panther than Natsumi.

ANBU was just _there_ , more wraith than human, impersonal and probably as nutty as she was without the past life screwing them up. That was an addiction she wasn't sure she would ever get over, to disappear into ANBU without a backward glance. She could now somewhat understand what a fourteen-year-old Kakashi had felt when he joined up after his sensei's death, the complete desire to forget you knew what it was like to come to terms with losing everything that mattered and the mechanical obedience of the truly emotionally numb. If Minato hadn't grabbed her with both hands and dragged her along after him when he thought they were both eight, giving her something to concentrate on besides the guilt of leading a platoon of soldiers to their death, she was sure that any attempt to remove her from the ranks of the assassins would not have gone over well with her.

 _Natsumi_ had friends, a very twisted kind of past life, knew some of the future without her in it, an overly difficult chakra network, and was way too young.

She had the temptation to join the unborn Hatake in burying her head in the sand, but she just couldn't do it if the kidnapping of Kushina-hime was any measure of her standing back and watching events work out on their own. She had thrown away the chance to continue working for ANBU occasionally on the _possibility_ of a threat to one of her friends, one she _knew_ would have worked out okay without her. Then there was the niggling idea that she didn't have to lose everything again battling against the stubborn thought that none of it was real anyways so why did it matter if she lost them?

There was a whole lot of possibility in her new circumstances. Hatake Sakumo had been her ANBU _captain_ , and once ANBU always ANBU. Retired or not. He would be her kenjutsu master as well, given a few years. Jiraiya had snatched her out of the shadow guard to assuage his curiosity and to replace an ineffective member of his cell, which made him her sensei too. There was a lot she could do with that, keeping her kouhai alive, the Toad Sage informed of Naruto's home life if that wasn't possible, and stopping her taicho's guilt ridden suicide before it had a chance to happen and scar his five-year-old genius of a son.

If this was a dream or delusion there really wasn't a harm in trying to change things, but it was the fraction of an idea that this was real Inoichi implanted in her head that held her in place in terror of messing something up.

Uzumaki Naruto had been so lucky in his life, not with how he had been hated in his childhood but the sort of slowly escalating opponents that he matched wits with. The blond jinchūriki had also fulfilled the promise of his birth as foretold by the Toad Summons, uniting the five great shinobi nations and countless smaller ones in a continent wide battle against Uchiha Madara. If she kept someone alive that had been dead without her interference, would that change and protect him or would the littlest blond brat die before he had a chance to be what he was supposed to be?

Blowing out a breath and removing her _still_ way too long hair from the toddler's grasp, Natsumi weighed the possibility of her screwing everything up against the worth of her friends' lives and happiness. Unsurprisingly, her friends won out hands down. She would have to grit her teeth and ignore that stabbing fear in her gut about Naruto's future circumstances.

She needed a plan to keep that silent promise she made to her future Hokage back in the academy. A very, _very_ good one if what she dimly recalled was going to be of any use.

One, she had to stop avoiding her friends.

Minato was starting to get suspicious of how long she spent following the Slug Princess around, especially since she would never have enough control for a few _years_ yet, working on it extensively to the exclusion of everything else, over her obstinate chakra system to use any iryou-nin jutsus. Even Inoichi-kun was starting to ask what she was doing while training with Jiraiya, and the Toad Sage himself when the team was doing the completely inane D-ranks. She didn't want to hurt them with her avoidance, but she couldn't really _think_ when they were so hypersensitive of any mental backsliding she might do in 'progressing forward' and she hadn't been able to think pass the mission they were on while in ANBU, leaving a lot of things to catch up on.

Two, she had to at least pass a brief mental health check so the Yamanaka clan heir would feel alright with letting her out of his sight for at least a week, even if she was excused from the genin mandatory ones since she went ANBU for half a year. Bullshitting 101, since there really wasn't any _other_ hope for her.

Three, Namikaze Minato needed to survive.

If she was going to do this, she wanted to do it _right_. October tenth, the year after the end of the Third Great Shinobi War and his first year of being Yondaime, was one of the dates that loomed over her head, knowing as she did the postulated death date of her favorite little brat and the love of his life. With her kouhai was his wife, Uzumaki Kushina. In keeping with the happiness of the closest thing to a little brother she ever had, she was one hell of a hot blooded lynch pin. She didn't know what kind of couple the two of them made, but looked forward to finding out with a kind of breathless anticipation that confused her some days.

Four, the Uchihas had to remain part of the village and not, you know, dead.

Selfish of her, but it was a good back-up plan to catch or bandage anything that went wrong after hopefully keeping her Hokage alive, or taking care of Naruto-kun if she couldn't. If she didn't let Fugaku get too wrapped up in clan politics, probably by badgering him to handing a lot of it over to Mikoto since she was indefinitely better at it than him even at this age, the teenaged boy she was familiar with now would make a good shinobi clan head if not a politician. Without an unbending line in the sand in regards to Danzō's meddling, the Uchihas wouldn't lose so much ground in the village in the eyes of the shinobi ranks. Keeping Itachi company might keep the kid from having to choose to kill his entire clan or his brother, since she would be a pipe to the Hokage, hopefully her kouhai, and an Namikaze linked influence on the Uchiha heir Danzō wouldn't like.

The arrogance in the Uchihas were apparently limited to the main line of the clan and most of the Military Police, the lesser branches and civilians of that noble clan were a hell of a lot easier to get along with even if they rarely got out of that massive compound of theirs. She would know, since after that general melee Fugaku had, very politely, asked to work out a method of countering her not-genjutsu with Mikoto and the gob smacked look on his face when she cheerfully agreed went a long way to convincing her the Uchihas were already closing ranks a little. Not to mention the frequent interruptions by varied clan elders that popped up occasionally to watch them work on the ANBU assassination technique she was credited with, she was sure they were looking over her shoulder and ensuring she was really working on it with the clan heir and his intended.

Finally number five, there was a very long list of people she had to save or salvage to make a large enough impact on the future in any direction. That was the worst part as far as she was concerned, because the idea that saving someone now would displace some of the key people as she knew them in an incident later where they were one of the reasons her precious people survived was _nightmare_ inducing. Who could she save and who could _Konoha_ afford to lose?

Ideally, she wanted to save everyone that meant something to her and her kouhai, but she only knew of the first incidents that lead to their death. If something happened _after_ that point, she would be in the dark as anyone else about it, and what good they might have done then would be moot to what kind of damage a worse death would do to them and the people around them. The occupation she was in now had a very low life expectancy, around sixteen years was the average lifespan of a shinobi factoring in the war that just ended, and there was no telling how a lot of the shinobi she would attempt to influence would jump after a certain point.

She had though over all the ways to pull lynch pins and foul secondary plans up ever since she was five, and she had a good idea of what to do with the Intel she had now. However, if she learned anything in the short stint in ANBU and her past life as a platoon sergeant of one of the largest militaries of her last life, it was that plans never kept together in the face of the enemy and you could always have better Intel.

Many things would shift and twist with the presence of one extra, including herself. If she did make a dent in her captain's life, her plans would need revaluation damn near weekly.

There probably were a lot of holes if anyone saner than her could see what she did, mostly in the ranking system she had for the value of the people around her. Natsumi didn't like delusions, and she knew she would cheerfully murder _anyone_ that threatened her life here. She had a lot of plans to kill certain threats before they became threats, but she would also need her ANBU rank back so she could move and investigate freely as a member of the shadow guard and not a supposedly carefree genin.

She would use who she could, kill who she couldn't, and guard her future Hokage's back from the machinations of an ancient Uchiha clan head and their own village elders until he had the rank and experience to do it himself.

That most likely labeled her psychotic, or at least clinically insane. Unable to connect to the world like most sane people. Uncaring of the damage she would do outside of her small circle of important people. Unconcerned for what that meant for her in the end. She had died once and would do it again, that was inescapable.

She didn't care.

_Her Hokage would survive, damn it all, and she would see it unless if her name wasn't Mesuji Natsumi now and Fiona Hanson then._

Now she had to think up a way to sell her supposed sanity to Inoichi-kun.

Nawaki babbled in her lap and slapped her across the face and Natsumi blinked her mismatched eyes at the half amused expression on the face of Senju Tsunade, who was standing in the doorway and watching her watch her little brother.

"Do I want to know what you were thinking about so hard over there, little shadow girl?"

\V/

Jiraiya thought that this little idea of twice a month gatherings was a good one and had plans to invite his teammates, Sakumo, and his sensei to it once everything was settled between the younger ninja.

Kami knew they would get a few kicks out of listing to the pack of brats talk to each other.

He had been aware that this little group of genin and a few chūnin met up when they could, but the lack of the war and the drain on everyone's time made it so it was immensely easier for them to coordinate when and where outside individual meetings. Now that Natsumi had informed him to what she knew of reincarnation and life after death, he was practically considered to have always been there even though this one was his first.

They were going through telling Uchiha Mikoto, apparently the last to know so far, and he felt rather impressed with the secret keeping they possessed that the two actual girls of the group hadn't known before him.

Uzumaki Kushina was missing, and so was the current topic of discussion, but the Toad Sage knew that had to do with Uzumaki Mito's flagging health rather than any attempt to avoid facing their peers for whatever reason.

Natsumi was probably babysitting Tsunade's kid brother again, and Kushina was at the side of her one remaining relative in the village. The older Uzumaki woman would have kicked the bucket a lot sooner given the events of the past month but the news that filtered back to her, that ANBU agent Panther had went after the younger Uzumaki using a lead about the kidnappers' direction, had done a lot to relieve the ancient and frail fūinjutsu master from most of her worry and stress over the redheaded kunoichi's kidnapping nearly three weeks ago.

The Slug Princess' return to Konoha two weeks ago had helped immensely as well, keeping the old jinchūriki alive long enough to tell her replacement most of what she needed to be a good one.

Mikoto accepted reincarnation faster than he did, almost like one redhead everyone knew, but mostly because Fugaku didn't have a doubt about it. Then again, one didn't argue with a confident Nara without concrete facts, and sometimes not even then.

The conversation had turned to what short term plans they had after they were done assuring the Uchiha girl that Mesuji was working with the Yamanaka clan about the issues her past life was giving her when the flair of purple tainted chakra in a standard ANBU signal for off-duty and friendly let the older man sitting with his back to one of the Nara clan compounds' trees that the missing ex-ANBU assassin was back.

Natsumi strode into the clearing with an air like the cat that got the cream, swiped the canary, and blamed the whole thing on the dog. She had put on a tiny amount of weight under Tsunade's eagle eye already, and no longer looked like a stiff wind would snap her clean in two. Merely a hard knock now. "What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?"

Jiraiya's eyebrow rose incredulously, Minato's face lit up, and the rest of the brats warily exchanged looks except for Akimichi Chouza who took the bait the assassin offered, since from what the Toad Sage had heard the boy had genuinely thought the supposed girl's jokes were funny back in the academy. "What?"

" _Dam._ "

Oh, that was so unfunny it hurt. Slapping a hand over his face, the white haired man groaned in acute pain. This was what he had _willingly_ signed up for taking her on?

(ooo000ooo)

Inoichi was all but squirming in place to pick apart her new outlook, and Natsumi found it hilarious. He could tell something happened to the girl-woman's world view, and he wanted to _know_.

Her kouhai eventually ruined her fun and pinned her with a serious look with blue eyes over the campfire they started in the same hollow they had used almost four years ago once dusk fell. With a sigh, the misplaced soldier smirked softly at the blond mind walker. "I've decided it doesn't matter. Real or not, delusional or not, I'll do what I believe in and damn the consequences."

_Isn't that all I'm really afraid of now?_

The Yamanaka processed that for a silent moment, then started to smile. "Rationalization. I was afraid you might have slid back into disbelief again, cut off from everything as you were."

Personally she was thinking she was still stuck on delusions, but that worked for her too.

"That was more like just putting time between me and my worries, since you don't really have the space to question the meaning of life there." She admitted slowly, thinking over the large space of time she had dissected and puzzled over the shinobi around her and not herself. She couldn't afford it then. "A nice break, if you discount a lot of the hazing."

Jiraiya snorted loudly, eyeballing her. Natsumi simply shrugged back.

"Wasn't too different from what I did before. A little more up close and personal, but the familiarity of the routine was comfortable for me."

The physically older man didn't argue, but he didn't look like he believed her either.

"So it put you back on an even keel, so to say." The Yamanaka heir tapped a finger against his lips as he toyed with the idea. "Probably around the age you realized what had happened to you. Five? Six? That would have given you a mental age of thirty something, right?"

"I was always aware I was alive- _err_ -ish, Inoichi-kun. I sort of came back to myself around three and didn't realize exactly what it meant until five when I stopped falling asleep every three to four hours." The ex-ANBU assassin tugged her hightail, smirking faintly when Horse didn't try to stab her hand with a mildly poisoned senbon for the habit since the woman wasn't there. She really did need to cut the damn thing. "It was the first roof hopping ninja that had me worried about delusions, cause that wasn't possible when I looked around in my last life."

"Saa, so she's sane now?" Shikaku asked lazily, cracking open an eye and looking to the mind walker for an answer rather than the girl-woman he was lying next to.

Hiashi huffed across the fire next to his twin, since apparently Hyūgas were too dignified to snort. "She was never sane to begin with."

He ignored Hizashi's slight wince and Fugaku's firm nod of agreement.

"Hush…" Inoichi gave the marginally older twin the evil eye and glared momentarily at the Uchiha heir, before facing the Nara heir. "In a manner of speaking. She was always _functionally_ sane if slightly crazy, since she could keep up with day to day life without trying to murder one of us or cause herself unreasonable harm trying to keep touch with reality. Her outlook on life took a hit with the rebirth, and the insanity part she had been tripping over was more the disassociation with reality that had the edge to _go_ that way than anything really wrong in her head. Heaped on top of that was survivor's guilt. She never was truly insane, merely thought she was. Though it will take a while to stop automatically doubting herself or me about her mental state."

Natsumi stared at him for a moment, slowly blinked one blue eye then her green one as she processed that, and then _smirked_.

"Aww, Inoichi-kun! I didn't know you _cared_!" She folded her hands over her heart, leaning over to place her head on his shoulder. "Sorry, though. The thirty years between us make it a little awkward to think about dating you."

The Yamanaka heir spluttered, turning beet red. Everyone else _stared_ , even her kouhai. Damn, she thought that was a good one, wasn't very perverted too. Maybe it was still a bit too soon, or maybe her sense of humor was just too different.

"In keeping with the rather serious bent we have going on," the ex-ANBU ignored Shikaku's soft snort next to her, "Tsunade-sama just told me before I came out here that Mito-sama is no longer with us."

The blond mind walker slowly recovered as the group absorbed that. Fugaku was the one to look over at the girl-woman seriously and continue the conversation. "Uzu protocols, then? It's a good thing you're going to have a lot of free time now, Natsumi-san."

Mikoto looked around the quite group. That was likely news to her and apparently the sannin sitting just outside the circle of younger shinobi. "What are Uzu protocols?"

"Who else here has lost their entire world before, Mikoto-san?" Minato asked her lowly, jerking a thumb over to the girl-woman. "Natsumi-sempai helped Kushina-chan once before when Uzu fell, and she'd do it again even without us asking her too."

Natsumi's pale cheeks flushed a bit, internally damning the habits of always assisting her past life had left stamped on her soul and manners. "It was expected of … of what I was before. American soldiers always helped out, it was some kind of stupid unwritten law of the universe then. If you needed any kind of help, you found a dog soldier, a jarhead, a sailor, or one of the chair force."

Wouldn't the fly boys of her past be pissed with that nickname being the only thing they would be recalled by?

Her kouhai brightened even more than he had when she told that lame joke before, if that was possible. It was probably was the sharing of her previous life that pleased the closest thing she ever had to a little brother, painful though it was to think about. She had never done it before, finding the memories too sore to poke at.

"That's an awesome idea."

"Not very practical with shinobi, you'd never be sure who was really being helpful and who was scoping a place out." Jiraiya spoke up almost casually, still carefully inspecting her. Natsumi had maybe a moment to panic over what kind of psychology skills her sensei had before the man snorted out loud and his expression relaxed. "That's why you attached yourself to Minato-kun. He _asked_."

If it had been another life, the ex-ANBU assassin would have said it was a light bulb moment.

\V/

Tsunade smiled sweetly at her pervert of a teammate as she loomed over him. "My little shadow is missing again. You're not hiding her because you let her get stick thin while peaking in on the bathhouses again, are you _Jiraiya_?"

The white haired sannin gulped and quailed a little on the inside, even if he knew he was in the clear. His female teammate was as beautiful as she was _scary_ , especially in her element as she was in Konoha's major hospital.

"She's over a hundred pounds!" He yelped as the evil woman flexed his knee the wrong way. He was in to get his finally healed injuries checked out to clear him for field duty again, and was mostly sure Natsumi knew he had been injured but kept it to herself. Another thing to wonder about, but one of the minor ones. Good thing the girl-woman had been ANBU once, otherwise it would have taken over six months for the team's first C-rank mission with only an injured, 'technically' jōnin ranked ninja for backup if something went wrong.

Another thing that needed sorting that was giving the man a headache the size of Fire Country. Where the hell did 'sannin' fall in traditional shinobi rankings?

"Does she still look like someone could knock her out with a glancing hit?" The Slug Princess asked archly as a flair of green told the Toad Sage she was checking the fractures he had gotten in his right kneecap.

"Yeah, but so do Minato-kun and Inoichi-kun. I think they're starting to grow." Jiraiya sighed and sat up when the blonde woman motioned for him too. "She's with Uzumaki Kushina right now, Tsunade-hime."

"Stop calling me that." The medical prodigy snapped, poking harder than necessary to feel breaks in ribs even though she had been the one to heal those half a year ago. "And again? It's been a few _months_ since Mito-sama died and Natsumi-chan damn near dropped _everything_ to sit by her in silence. I want my babysitter back, Jiraiya."

"I should complain about unpaid labor." Konoha's only true remaining fūinjutsu user grumbled to himself, trying to ignore the slightly worried tone in his teammate's voice that gave away the lie to the cruel edge of the words until stern gold eyes pinned him in place and he relented.

He knew Tsunade _liked_ Natsumi taking on Nawaki's care because the ex-ANBU assassin would probably happily butcher _anyone_ coming after the younger of the two remaining direct Senju descendants, having a low tolerance for kidnappers if what she did during Kushina's had anything to say about it. The Slug Princess was many things, but a field capable iryou-nin first and foremost, _then_ a kunoichi as ruthless as any shinobi could be, and a healer at the very end of that list of things she was. _Senju_ Tsunade-sama, a kunoichi of Konohagakure, was fretting more about the missing bodyguard for her clan's only other heir than free child care for said brat. Babysitting was just a convenient cover for having an extra ANBU on hand in case of emergency.

"It's not Mito-sama again, it's an fūinjutsu exercise."

The sibilant, hissing laugh from the doorway drew both of their attention to the last member of the sannin team come to check in on him. "Little Natsumi-chan? What is she up to with Kushina-sama?"

"Something to do with her Déjà vu no Jutsu. Mikoto-chan made a comment to Fugaku-san, who commented on it to Minato-kun, who told Kushina-chan about the supposedly hypothetical question during their twice a month meetings and the little firecracker ran with the idea and my little neko-chan all the way to honorable Mito-sama's fūinjutsu library. I'm supposed to go there and pitch in after this, according to R&D's fanatical need for any information on the damn technique."

Jiraiya sometimes wondered about Orochimaru's interest in his female student who was actually a forty-year-old former soldier that probably saw him more as a comrade than a teacher. It had really only began when he explained what he knew of why the Uchiha clan was being so pissy and the Hyūga clan was acting so smug recently.

The outcome of that initial 'general melee spar' had surprising and far reaching effects for a spar between ninja children, clan or no.

Hatake Sakumo had first covered for his little soon to be apprentice with the truth. Claiming it was a technique she had developed for classified work and not trumping the Military Police, which all ninja knew meant for ANBU or Hunter-nin reasons, and they hadn't know it could be used like that until she started testing it out on the best of the best of Konoha for her validation period before being credited for the creation of an original jutsu.

The shinobi corps dropped the issue then, but the civilians had continued to be upset some little quirk of Natsumi-chan's chakra nature had developed the damn near perfect counter to an Uchiha's eyes since 'they protected everyone in the village and some no named genin could get around them now'. Right on up until news leaked about the girl working with the Uchiha clan heir and his intended bride about possible counters.

Then the shinobi of Konoha had gotten curious about why she wanted one and the civilians dropped the subject as dealt with.

Shortly after that, though the Toad Sage was sure it was the work of his little ex-ANBU kitty cat herself there, news had somehow gone around that if Mesuji could counter the Uchihas, and the Hyūgas could counter Mesuji, there was a suspected fourth bloodline that could counter the Hyūgas and fall to the Uchihas.

It was a pretty piece of work, really, taking advantage of the shinobi curse of rampant curiosity and the civilians near _need_ to gossip about their protectors. All attention had been drawn to postulating the fourth kekkai genkai instead of an orphaned young girl that really _hated_ the attention.

Although, if there really would be a bloodline named Mesuji a couple of decades from now Jiraiya would laugh his ass off.

He and Natsumi-chan had taken a day the team had off once and been forced to conclude that her purple chakra tint was carried over from her previous life, because Ma and Pa Toad both wouldn't be budged from that position once consulted about it. She had been as upset as her ANBU training allowed her to show him, because she wanted to teach the others what she could do and without that second store of spiritual energy, a sort of double layer impossible to replicate since it was backwards from any other possibility Jiraiya could think of, it was beyond anyone but Natsumi-chan's ability to use.

In other words, without the nearly thirty years of purely spiritual energy overlaying her near thirteen years of both physical and spiritual here _and the ability to separate and use it independently from her main chakra network,_ the assassin wouldn't have been able to stumble upon the direct-able, double-sight-in-real-time jutsu to begin with. Though it had played hell with the girl's ability to use any other kind of jutsu or chakra based trick until they realized the natural process used by her ANBU developed jutsu was screwing her up in molding the chakra needed for anything else besides that and a few E-ranked jutsus that didn't require much chakra to start with.

The large number of control polishing tricks and exercises she knew hadn't done much but increase the amount of that older spiritual energy she could bring to bear at once with her balanced chakra of her current body, and hadn't she been irritated to learn _that_?

Though maybe that was what young Kushina was up to, since the comment he had heard Minato report had been ' _why couldn't they use Natsumi-sempai's spiritual energy without her chakra if she could'_?

Naming the damn fake genjutsu so it could be properly sorted was a story in itself, something drawn from the descriptions given of the effects, and it still wasn't properly sorted as either a ninjutsu or an actual genjutsu like they had all thought except Natsumi-chan herself.

The scientist in charge of that were split down the middle about it and could only pick at the theoretical idea without the assassin present to demonstrate. On one hand, the jutsu affected the chakra gate near the eyes like a proper genjutsu based around sight but it didn't replace the field of view with the caster's imagined scenery. On the other, it only affected vision and not the rest of the target or anything around him or her so it really wasn't a ninjutsu. The mostly spiritual nature of the jutsu made it damn hard to detect or even dispel with a sharp release of both physical and spiritual energy, since that relied on the physical knocking each other off target.

He had only managed once with senjutsu, and that was when they were discussing it with Ma and Pa. It wasn't really even a kekkai genkai, since it was spiritual and not a physical quirk of Natsumi-chan's. The whole thing just gave him a splitting migraine every time someone brought up R&D, and he had been desperately thankful when the girl-woman had finally named it and kicked the mess over to R&D with her carefully edited notes about the process and effects.

Though with how much the scientific division was bugging him about it he was tempted to write up Natsumi-chan's needed notes of recommendation for reinstatement to ANBU if she would only murder the lot of them for him. Good thing Minato had been enthralled with his fūinjutsu work and was pouring over a number of journals and scrolls about it while practicing his calligraphy whenever he could and Inoichi had to spend a good solid month and frequent days on end with his clan developing some kind of mind walker trick he had dreamed up. If they hadn't had their own projects to work on, the attention the girl-woman had gotten the last few months would have at least dented the boys' relationship with her if not fostered some kind of resentment.

The flair and ebb of iryou jutsu soothed out the headache Jiraiya had building up again behind his hitai-ate. He quirked a smirk at the Senju heiress and the little furrow between her eyes that told him she was worried. "Natsumi-chan's getting a bit fed up with the attention on her again, so she'll be back in a few days, Tsunade-hime. Though I have a question for the both of you now that you both are here. Free next Saturday?"

\V/

Jiraiya finally bowed to the inevitable and furnished the jōnin standard apartment assigned to him once winter threatened Konohagakure with icy rain and biting winds. He had asked Natsumi first to help, but she had given him such a disgusted look and pointedly asked _why_ did he think she ever make a good interior decorator if she had completely failed flower arranging in the academy, making her teammates snicker to themselves, while dragging the confused older looking shinobi to Mikoto.

Then the ex-ANBU assassin had to ride herd on the Uchiha girl's decorating impulses, and all three males made a mental note to never shop with the female sharingan user ever, _ever_ again.

Now, the small group of chūnin and genin could use the space to meet up during the worst of the winter weather instead of Minato's or Natsumi's single room genin apartments like they had planned on doing.

Inoichi thought it was really awesome of their white haired sensei to offer, because last year when a number of them were still in the academy Hiashi nearly got frostbite from their twice a month-ish meetings and his own lips had turned blue before he even got home.

The Hyūga twins were now seated on one of the large couches with the Uchiha couple, Hiashi glaring at his twin for politely asking if he was warm enough while Fugaku listened to Mikoto explaining a genjutsu she had been working on. Shikaku was napping on the floor before the low table Minato and Kushina had taken over from Chouza's pre-dinner spread and were comparing fūinjutsu ideas and swapping tips and tricks on, and Natsumi was making tea. She was still the only one Jiraiya would allow in the kitchen by herself, since Inoichi and Minato hadn't known that flour was combustible until they set a crock of it near the gas stove.

In other news, both he and Minato now knew how to make explosives if ever cornered in a kitchen by enemy ninjas, and the Toad Sage would never get his security deposit back without a lot of work. Natsumi had been most unhelpful in pointing both out to all three of them after the fact with a lot of snickering once she heard about the incident.

The misplaced soldier brought in the tea tray and started passing out hot mugs, taking one for herself and sitting next to Shikaku's prostrated form and taking a good look at the fūinjutsu spread out.

"Natsumi-chan?" A light blue eye glanced at him, and Inoichi counted that as a win since she always did get distracted like the rest of his team when someone started talking about seals around them. "Why are there five extra mugs?"

She blinked at him, but before she was able to say anything the door opened and a brown, toddler sized blur darted to Natsumi's side, planting a foot in Shikaku's stomach on the way and making the Nara heir wheeze out a choked cough. "Na-cha!"

The ex-ANBU calmly reached over and tugged the kid into her lap with a small smile before answering him. "Sensei's bringing friends."

With a firm hold on the young Senju Nawaki, she was the only one not to suddenly face the doorway. Inoichi had this feeling that the night would be a surprised field test of Natsumi's mental health, and he wasn't sure if she had studied for it.

(ooo000ooo)

Sarutobi Hiruzen wasn't sure why Jiraiya had invited him along with his teammates and Hatake Sakumo to his apartment, but he had to admit the younger children, and a few of the older ones, sitting around his student's living room were amusing to watch in action.

After the first awkward moment when the young shinobi realized who was standing in the doorway, Mesuji barked at the Yamanaka heir. "Out of the chair, Inoichi-kun."

"Why?" The boy had spluttered, but getting up anyways and joined the rest of them scrambling upright around the table to show respect for the Hokage.

"Cause your back would hurt too doing paperwork all day, gaki." Apparently, Tsunade had been anticipated in her train of thought and she chivvied everyone properly into the Toad Sage's apartment. Once he had been settled in the squishy armchair and pressed with a mug of hot tea, everyone else found somewhere to sit. "Who made the tea?"

"I did, Tsunade-sama." The rather cheerful assassin had answered, looking a lot better than the last time Hiruzen had seen the waif. "Sensei doesn't trust the boys, and he didn't know if any of the clan kids could since they are, _you know_ , clan kids."

Young Mesuji caught the pillow thrown at the back of her head from one of the Hyūga twins and threw it back without even looking around for her attacker. It hit the thrower square in the face.

A haughty sniff from the Uchiha kunoichi had broken the rest of whatever ice had held them silent in the face of the Sandaime Hokage-sama, and they started cautiously going back to whatever conversations they had going before their arrival. Sarutobi just listened in to the younger generation of shinobi talk to the older with a small smile on his face, sipping his tea peacefully. It was a nice break from his own home and the continuing wails of his youngest son, though Biwako would have something to say to him for not telling her about this and getting her out of the compound for a few hours.

"Orochimaru-sama, do you know many fūton jutsus?" The ex-ANBU Panther had asked some time later, all the while picking out the pins holding her hair up in an efficient bun. Little Nawaki was making grasping motions for it and squealed happily when the dark hair fell down, nearly choking the unaware Nara heir laying behind her with the length smacking into his face.

The Snake Summoner peered down at the girl with a raised eyebrow, distracted from his conversation with the Uchiha heir about the mechanics of an activated sharingan eye. "Not very many. Fūton jutsus are more common in Wind Country than Fire, since most Suna shinobi have the wind element naturally. Do you need them, Mesuji-chan?"

"No, Orochimaru-sama, and it's Natsumi, please. Minato-kun does need them, though. Sensei had us tested for elemental affinities this week and he drew that, but there is very little on fūton in the genin level jutsu library." She smiled a lopsided grin and took back the pins the Nara passed to her along with a dry look. "I've heard you're a combat ninjutsu specialist, which would mean you'd have a better idea than anyone else would where to find some."

"I'll be fine with what we can dig up!" Protested Namikaze hurriedly as he went beet red, probably appalled at asking a sannin that wasn't his teacher about his troubles with elemental jutsus.

Jiraiya just poked his student in the side, looking over at the fūinjutsu project proposal by his blond apprentice and the Uzumaki girl laid out over his coffee table for him. "I was going to ask him anyways, Minato-kun. I don't know _any_ fūton jutsus."

Sarutobi smiled behind the rim of his mug of tea. A few months ago, Jiraiya would have cut out his own tongue rather than ask his teammate for help on something jutsu related. He would have tried doing it himself, and only when he had exhausted any kind of possible lead would he ask him and not Orochimaru. Taking on a genin team was good for the man's pride, forcing him to take in the fact he had three young ninjas looking to him as their guide down the rocky shinobi path and not stubbornly clinging to the eroded sense of inadequacy he had felt on the much touted genin team he was assigned to after graduating the ninja academy with average scores.

He probably would deny it later on, but Orochimaru all but preened under the admiring stares of the younger generation. Maybe the Snake Summoner would do well with the responsibility of a genin team as well. "I'll pass what I can find to Jiraiya-kun."

"Speaking of jutsus, Natsumi-chan, has R&D finally stopped running in circles around you?" Sakumo toed his ex-squad mate's shoulder with his question.

The girl bent backwards over the Nara heir to look at her old superior, letting the younger Senju settle for a nap on her stomach blanked by dark tangled hair. "Not yet, taicho."

Tsunade's head snapped up as she was reminded of something and she _glared_ at the suddenly paling head of the Hatake clan, leaving the other girls she had been giving iryou-nin and kunoichi tips to their own devices so she could haul the ANBU captain away to lecture him on the minimum diet needed by young children, ninjas or not. Hiruzen made a mental note to assign Sakumo a month long mission out of the village at the very least, he was a good shinobi and ANBU captain and deserved a little help out of the hole he found himself in. Letting the Slug Princess dent him would bring down ANBU efficiency, and leave more than a few high risk missions uncompleted until he recovered.

"You're looking pretty comfortable over there, Natsumi-chan." Kushina remarked with an evil looking smile, given her age and temperament it was likely the red headed Uzumaki girl was annoyed with the Slug Princess' distraction on behalf of the ex-ANBU assassin's continuing health concerns. "Is there something you two would like to share with the class?"

The young jinchūriki had pitched her voice enough to carry even to the Senju heiress and the cringing ANBU captain, drawing everyone's attention to the girl's admittedly awkward looking position of sitting on her feet and bent backwards over another young teen with a sleeping child reclining on her. Natsumi blinked her eyes one at a time, something that apparently others found as creepy as he did, then tilted her head up to eye the blanching Nara heir with a wicked looking smirk.

"You make a very comfortable pillow, Shikaku-kun. Every girl needs a pillow like you in their bed-err … _life_."

There was a beat of silence, almost as if no one believed they heard the girl right.

THWAK!

"Damn it, Tsunade-hime! I swear, she's doing that on _purpose!_ "

" _STOP CALLING ME THAT!_ "

Hiruzen sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as two thirds of his old genin team regressed to academy age children, the actual children started laughing loudly, and Orochimaru gave him a flat _look at what I have to deal with_ stare. Maybe he'd hold off giving the Snake Summoner a team and tell his wife about this in a few years.

Kami _knew_ Asuma-chan was probably quieter than this group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chakra assisted jumping used by most ninjas is currently out of Natsumi's grasp along with a lot of chakra based skills and D or above ranked jutsus besides her one ace in the hole that has yet to be ranked. She can tree walk, but it fails about half the time and she just gets wet trying to water walk. What she was doing when running after Minato and while with ANBU is called free running, using forward momentum when sprinting to reach ledges and keep up with others by finding a similar but more complicated route. Not very efficient compared to most ninjas, and she was slower than her squad mates, but it will give her a bit of a leg up once she finally figures it out. It did do a bit of damage to her body as well as using a lot more energy than chakra assisted jumps do, which was really why she got so thin, but Tsunade's on the case now.
> 
> The ranks, I think, go like this: E for civilians with no training and the basic of basic ninja skills; D for genin, missions that take genin level skills, bandits, and Ronin; C for chūnin, the basics of elemental based jutsus and techniques like shunshin (considered the basics for really good ninjas that get above C-rank), missions involving unknown but hostile foreign ninjas, and taking on lesser trained samurai in a fight; B for special jōnin, the mid-level elemental jutsus that rely on elemental chakra manipulation to be used, teams of trained guards, main bases for criminal gangs, and most samurai; A for actual jōnin, terrain affecting jutsus, being able to use solely one type of ninja art like fūinjutsu or iryou jutsu in pitched combat, and the better samurais; S for anything above that up to kage's level and skills; and SS for ninjas or missions that could kill a kage without a lot of skill and luck. 
> 
> So a genin team has a general rank of D, D, D, A; three genin and jōnin, evened out that would make the highest level of mission available right off the bat C, and possibly B if they're really good after developing teamwork between themselves and a number of successful C-ranks. I highly doubt a jōnin would take a C-rank for a team of fresh genin, though. The sannin here just got their S-rank for the fight against Hanzo, better than jōnin but not quite as good as a kage alone. Natsumi has an official ranking of D and an ANBU assassin ranking of B only because of her ANBU squad getting her to her targets, or leading them away to her for the actual killing, giving her an averaged C-rank as a kunoichi; in terms of genin level ninja skills, ANBU experience in fighting foreign ninjas, and the completed B-ranked assassinations under her belt. So she's technically better than genin but without many of the skills trained into one. The genin team the story is looking in on has at best a D, D, C, S rank right now. But with Jiraiya's S-rank so new and the man injured, Natsumi could only take on a C-ranked mission for her team with support of her sensei's reputation and the rest of her team. Alone, and mainly because of her time in ANBU, she would probably be a D to C-ranked assassin, able to (theoretically) go up against those around her own rank and slaughter civilians, but would probably die trying to off the B's she used to without her squad. Without chakra, she won't be able to go any higher.


	3. Of Ninjutsu and Fixations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you ever noticed how the word assassin is spelled? Ass- -ass- -in! You know, like … I've been writing Natsumi too much …   
> Last problem, Nawaki's age. I recently found that he was supposed to die either in the beginning or end of the Second and possibly even the start of the Third Great Shinobi War, and all I can say is … oops? He'll have died in the 'last life cannon' of this around the middle of the Third … that works, right?

_Morals are a wonderful thing. The innate guide for proper behavior, both taught and learned by watching the world events happen around you._

_However, which is right when two separate sets of morals clash over the same troubling issue?_

* * *

Natsumi firmly ignored the panic boiling up from her guts, sticking one chakra coated ninja sandal to the underside of the branch before attempting to move her other foot forward.

It was so _stupid_ to be scared of falling off, that was why Jiraiya was standing just beneath her ready and willing to catch her if her control slipped. She knew this was possible to do because shinobi stuck to walls and things all the time and she saw it nearly on a daily basis now, like the kunoichi just the other day that walked up a storefront just to get out of the civilian foot traffic.

A lifetime of experience in how gravity worked was not so easily overcome by telling herself not to be scared of falling and if they could do it, so could she.

Tree walking was a basic genin skill. A _freaking_ genin level skill she sometimes couldn't do because of some supposed accident of her chakra nature.

Barely a month ago, Senju Tsunade had finally gotten the time to see to ensuring their continuing health after all the walking wounded from the war effort had been dragged kicking and screaming, sometimes literally, to the hospital so they could be checked out for any lingering problems to hastily patched wounds. Genin were not as high priority as jōnin, even if she knew them personally, so the massive backlog from the war veterans' medical reports and notation adjustments had eaten most of her free time up until the scheduled appointments for them came due.

Jiraiya's genin Team Seven went in for the round of mandatory physicals to get them out of the way as ordered after six months of mission work since graduating the academy, with the ex-ANBU assassin that had been attached to them two months before that and who had never had a shinobi standard physical in her life besides the brief one covering the usual before getting her ANBU tattoo.

This one had covered the normal stuff Natsumi was used to in military standard health screenings and the one she had gotten before getting her Panther mask; eye sight, reflex speed, gums and teeth, height and weight, immunization shots; but it also covered a few extra items she had never seen before or had even thought of. Muscle tone, bone density, and chakra system for all shinobi and body fat percentage for kunoichi.

The Slug Princess, having been told by her teammate that his female student was still wary of being touched casually if you could actually _do_ her harm, had explained each and every routine to her before conducting her full yearly physical. The misplaced soldier was deeply grateful for her sensei covering any unusual reactions from her as something from her time in ANBU _before_ she had to face the female sannin in only a paper gown with a wide slit in the back about her chakra system and poor weight gain.

Some things never changed, and the scary medic-doctor person glaring at you when you were underdressed and feeling _really_ exposed and guilty about your eating habits was one of them.

Shinobi of Konohagakure had their chakra networks inspected annually, every other physical they went in for. By a Hyūga iryou-nin from another room before anyone got naked, but it was still inspected for any unusual stressing or abnormalities… or ninja wearing another's face, but that rarely happened.

Apparently her middle name was abnormality.

Her iryou-nin done medical report had dissected the problem even better than Ma and Pa Toad could with senjutsu, finally giving her the news on how to fix it.

The first bit of news was that spiritual energy she had kept from her past life was overpowering her physical of this life. They had _known_ that already, it was why she could only use her one jutsu. Tsunade had added that unless she could keep that in check by making herself hold it all in second nature to keep up, she would never get better than a C-ranked kunoichi without more than that one jutsu and the E-ranks to her arsenal, _because_ of that spiritual overpowering her physical kept her from balancing enough chakra to power even D-ranked jutsus.

That was the full diagnostic results ran on her as decrypted by the Toad Sage.

Natsumi _had_ to get better than chūnin, some of the threats to Minato, Kushina, and Naruto were _SS_ -ranked and she wouldn't last two seconds in a fight against something like _that_ if she didn't fix the problem holding her at a C-rank.

Now she was upside down, walking back and forward under a tree branch with her sensei standing beneath her waiting for her to fall off and keeping note of how long she was up there. Just to fix that little problem of hers.

Humiliation, thy name was tree walking. Sometimes she couldn't believe the shit she did for her kouhai. It seemed that giving up ANBU for the time being had only been the start of it, if what she was diligently doing again and again now was any measure.

Minato and Inoichi, having already mastered this part of shinobi life, were ensconced with their own projects on the other side of the training ground's clearing. Actually Inoichi was, the other blond on the team was worriedly eyeing his sempai's progress.

Knowing that, even without needing to look to see what he was watching, was throwing off Natsumi's concentration. Damn blonds.

Shakily though, she managed another circuit of her chakra exercise before falling off again.

Jiraiya caught her without a sound or grunt escaping him, taking one good look at his female student's paper white face before setting her on the ground and plucking a leaf off the tree for her. "An hour better than you're last attempt, Natsumi-chan. Take a breather while I go talk to the boys and see how they're doing."

The ex-ANBU assassin took the leaf unenthusiastically, weakly smiling up at her sensei when he patted her on the head. Sticking it to the tip of her nose for the new exercise, she watched the older looking shinobi walk across the clearing to see the results of the elemental chakra manipulation exercises done by her blond teammates. She finally did crack a genuine smirk when her kouhai scrambled for more leaves to cut with the fūton control exercise Orochimaru had dug up for him.

She and Jiraiya had an odd relationship for something between teacher and student, to say the least.

While he treated them all the same when the team was with him, like annoying brats more often than not, he actually talked to her like the adult she used to be when it was just them. They bickered over the reasoning for their actions, called each other rude or insulting names, and she cheerfully blamed him when she cracked a perverted joke in retaliation of his spying cover being shoved under their noses when he checked in on civilian gossip around the village. She had only recently started telling him some of her past life, the bits that wouldn't seem like much to someone of her past but were interesting and unusual to someone of this life, and in return he told her some of what he had seen in his twenty odd years.

The Toad Sage had compared her life now to an indefinite undercover mission and had flat out told her to her face that she needed an outlet or the nightmares that plagued her in ANBU would probably never stop, driving her finally over the edge of sanity she had been trying to avoid on her own. Good thing the man hadn't cared for her and Inoichi's conversations on psychology, beyond knowing how to predict the way people would react most of the time, or he would have known she was far beyond that point.

She could have gone to Minato, Inoichi, Kushina, Mikoto, Shikaku, Chouza, and Hizashi; any of them would have helped her after understanding the point the white haired sannin raised. Natsumi had started giving little pieces of that past to the others when it seemed to fit, she was teaching Shikaku the tactical games common in her last life and cooking some of her old favorites for Chouza to try.

It just felt a lot better only letting Jiraiya hear about the places she had seen, the history only she knew now, and people only she had known there. To her it just seemed to be a better idea to trust the master spy with information that she would have preferred never to have seen the light of day, even if she would never breathe a word of the leisure habits of that life no matter what happened. He did know how to keep a secret much better than the shinobi of her academy years.

The exchange had helped the both of them get used to the other in the beginning after the events following Kushina's kidnapping and the _newness_ to the situation wore off, because the two of them had started to circle the other like the type of cat she was called by in ANBU. Jiraiya had been uneasy with 'teaching' a woman stuck in a girl's body, a warrior of another age that probably had a good idea on what to do in battle already. Natsumi had been unsettled with the fact the sannin knew that she had lived another life, knew that she knew what it was like to die in a violent manner.

Minato had been the one to point out to them, after Inoichi told him the reasons his sempai and sensei were grating against each other's nerves, that the assassin was still in training for higher _shinobi_ ranks and skills and the Toad Sage hadn't really cared about her previous death in the least _beyond_ what secret they were all keeping from him.

Now it was more like an older uncle to a younger niece, a _lot_ more than Natsumi had been expecting from any teacher assigned to her much less from someone that knew of her history. She had maybe convinced herself that Jiraiya would mostly ignore her after poking at her sore spots and possibly taking a look at her chakra and finding a solution.

He instead listened to her life before finding a solution for her chakra troubles with his and Tsunade's skills and was now working on it with her in between missions and training sessions and helping Inoichi in keeping her on an even keel, not content unless he knew the problem was solved.

Natsumi would have been intensely uncomfortable under that kind of attention, except he did the same for her kouhai and their other teammate, cycling through those individual lessons and one on one coaching they asked for with broader lessons and training to develop their skills and knowledge in different areas. Minato had his time every four days just before she did, pouring over more complicated fūinjutsu than they all were taught with the older man, and Inoichi would use the sannin to bounce ideas off of, and to find him willing test subjects for his developing mind jutsus, tomorrow before a day of individual skill polishing and they did the loop over again.

Narrowing her focus to the smear of green in front of her face, the assassin figured she should get back to concentrating on what she was doing. The quicker it was all over, the quicker she could try some of those mythical seeming ninjutsus for herself.

(ooo000ooo)

"So, how's Natsumi-chan doing?" Sakumo asked when he and Jiraiya met up later the same night in a shinobi bar.

Civilians didn't like drinking with killers and mercenaries for some odd reason, so they had their own set of bars to frequent when wanting to drink each other under the table.

It had become almost traditional for the head of the Hatake clan, such as it was, to ask the Toad Sage about the student they would be sharing when the ANBU captain caught up with his old friend when he made it back to the village. The white haired sannin didn't mind his silver haired companion asking about his female student, and the other man's old subordinate, because he tended to wax lyrically about Minato's sealing interest and skills whenever he could to whoever would listen and this way it didn't look like favoritism.

Yamanaka Inoichi had his own support base, he had an _entire_ clan interested in their heir's progress. Jiraiya's lack of boasting about his blond haired but lavender eyed student's progress to anyone outside that clan was only the common sense of any jōnin-sensei that took on clan affiliated genin.

The Toad Sage didn't intend on keeping his genin team together after they made chūnin like his sensei had done for the sannin team, their interests and skills were too far apart on the spectrum of ninja arts for a general use chūnin or jōnin team. If he apprenticed one of his orphans and had no other options to give his other one when the other blond student of his went back to his clan for further training a lot of shinobi would start asking about it.

Originally, he had thought Mesuji Natsumi would go back to ANBU as a chūnin with more experience under her belt, after replacing the weak link in his team that had no real talent for their kind of life and he figured out what was wrong with her chakra network. ANBU had its' own covers made up for returning agents, out for whatever reason, and wouldn't have been a problem for anyone. That was what he had planned on when he suggested to Hiruzen-sensei that he take her out of ANBU for a while and let the little kitty grow up some.

His plan had switched tracks with her captain's, who turned out to be his old friend like he had thought, suggestion of teaching her kenjutsu and completely derailed with her forced retirement from ANBU when she went and backed up his protégé's mad dash after his academy friend.

That cart finally crashed and burned when what his brats knew of reincarnation came to light.

There was _no way in hell_ was he letting only ANBU hold onto _that_ kind of perseverance needed to thrive after a traumatic injury and the iron guts that it took to rebuild a life from scratch in a completely different one from what she had known before, not to mention the _years_ of military leadership experience the girl-woman held. There were so many ways he could think to utilize that prior experience and level of commitment for Konoha's benefit, and she could make a damn fine jōnin kunoichi to complement his fūinjutsu specializing student later on _without_ the shadow guard, no matter their plans for her future.

He just had to show her that with examples like Tsunade and himself before she decided to go back. Her mental health was a little alarming at present, but with the heir of a clan that specialized in mind games and interrogation keeping watch after solving the worst of it already, the Toad Sage had no doubts that by the time they all made chūnin it would be manageable and the duel eyed girl-woman would be mostly normal… _-ish_.

Besides, it was fun to spend time with the ex-soldier turned kunoichi assassin that looked like a preteen girl when collecting the general intelligence available from the civilians. He didn't have to watch what he said to her the same way he had to watch what he said to the rest of the team right now, and it was kinda fascinating to hear about sights, people, and insults of civilizations long since gone by.

"Frustrated with her slow progress. Can't really blame little neko-chan for that one, though." Jiraiya sighed, tugging a hand through unruly hair before pouring them both a saucer of sake. "I'm starting to get a little frustrated with it too. She's just so used to reaching for that other energy along with her chakra for her jutsu that it's hard for her to separate it and hold that part back."

Sakumo hummed in the back of his throat before tipping back the small clay dish and swallowing the alcohol. "Try having her focus her chakra in a weapon's blade, splitting it between the blade and hilt. That's how my clan learned to control themselves."

Jiraiya shot a look at his drinking companion, storing that bit of information away in his brain even as he made sure his friend was being serious. He had learned more than he ever wanted to about kekkai genkais in Konohagakure over the last few months, ever since they started using that publicly as a possibility for Natsumi's spiritual natured excess and the ANBU assassination technique she developed.

Mostly, he learned how the clans taught the younger generation how not to screw themselves up for shinobi life. That bit held promise though, the Hatake's White Chakra Nature was the closest comparison they had to the girl-woman's and it would stand to reason the methods for control might be as similar.

"You're still set on teaching her kenjutsu, right? Got a bokken she can use for that?"

\V/

Watching the redhead Uzumaki preteen sink into hot water was always amusing, since she would dart into the water with a splash and almost reverently relax against the side of the hot spring with some kind of animalistic sound. Natsumi and Mikoto exchanged dryly humorous looks at the preteen's groan of almost-pain as they followed more sedately, wrapped in the towels supplied by the onsen for bathers.

"Are you sure you don't want any help with whatever it is you're doing, Kushina-hime?" The ex-ANBU assassin asked as she slowly sunk into the steaming waters of the bath house. "It sounds _strenuous_."

Getting used to public bathing hadn't been a problem for her, kami-sama _knew_ the military communal showers in her last life had shown her more bare female flesh than she had ever wanted to see herself. After a while, like a little before basic training ended and long before the military first sent you out into the field, it had stopped becoming weird to see another naked person of your own gender and you just casually asked the soldier under the shower head next to you if you could use her conditioner before turning back to the reason you all were buck naked and wet in the first place.

"If you meant that in the same way you're pervert of a sensei would say it, Natsumi-chan, I'm going to hold you underwater until you stop struggling." Kushina threatened half-heartedly with a lazy smirk.

"Ooh, death by onsen… sounds serious." Natsumi nodded faux importantly, causing the two kunoichi with her to giggle.

The three of them were in the kunoichi pool, set aside with another one for the male ninjas behind the wooden divider by the owners of the onsen within Konoha solely for the protectors of the village. The reason for it was simple; shinobi had scars and injuries that most civilians never wanted to see on the warriors that represented the military strength of Konoha, so they never saw them.

It was a little insulting and appreciated at the same time. On one hand, no one liked to be stared at when trying to relax and it was doubly dangerous to stare at and unsettle a shinobi. On the other, it was kind of like denying the ninjas the right to be injured in service to the village.

No ninja worth their weight would sneer at privacy and the space to hide a weaknesses though, so they went with it.

The misplaced soldier had her own scars on this almost too thin preteen's body, acquired by the time she spent in ANBU and a few training accidents, but only one of the other two she was visiting the bath house with had some as well.

Mikoto had a stab wound scar on her back, the edges still pink and telling the ex-ANBU assassin that someone had almost managed to kill the Uchiha teen under three months ago, a few that looked like childhood scars from the usual assortment of injuries and a number of thin white lines showing on her arms from learning how to use the razor wire favored by her clan in pitched battle. Kushina didn't have one, not even a mark from the misplaced soldier's kunai on the inside of her ankle caused during her kidnapping.

Natsumi knew that was because of both her kekkai genkai and 'fuzzy', the burden the Uzumaki had inherited from Mito-sama before her passing and was supposed to pass onto her own son, but still had pangs of jealous feelings for the unmarred skin of the other preteen. There wasn't even a seal to show where the nine tailed demon fox was contained, leaving naturally pale skin clear.

"So!" Using some of that unreal store of energy her clan was known for, Kushina suddenly popped upright and slung one arm over the Uchiha kunoichi's shoulder once all three of them had managed to relax into the hot water for a little while. "One, maybe two, more promotions before we're hitching you up! Excited?"

"Are you asking if I'm excited to be unable to publicly tell Fugaku-kun to shut up when he's being annoying? No, not really." Mikoto smirked slyly at the redhead's expression of surprised glee. "The guy's great and all, but way too stiff sometimes."

Natsumi's right eyebrow raised up sharply, looking sideways at the others in the hot spring with her. "Are you sure you want to say that, Mikoto-chan? There are so many ways I can-"

"No!" The Uchiha teen waved her hands between them with a panicked look. "I meant _proper!_ Proper, not stiff. Noodle like-oh _kami-sama._ " With a despairing wail, Mikoto splashed the assassin with Kushina's enthusiastic help. "Bad kitty! You and your sensei are making us think perverted thoughts!"

The ex-ANBU assassin squinted at them after being hit with the face full of water shoved at her, snickering all the while. "You said it, not me!"

Kushina cackled evilly, tackling her best friend into the water to keep the girl-woman from dying as per her previous threat when the other teen looked ready to fulfill it.

It took the three of them a few more minutes to calm down, still splashing each other like children every few moments when one was suitably distracted. It gained them some annoyed looks but the other, mostly older kunoichi on the other end of the hot springs were tolerant of their younger sisters in arms messing around in secured places like the onsen compared to screwing around when there wasn't others nearby to guard their backs for them while distracted.

None of them in there was unarmed, even if the weapon of choice was water for the moment.

That may be another reason the civilians didn't like bathing with shinobi. Steel weapons in hot water. Huh.

"What about you, Natsumi-chan?"

The reincarnated girl-woman froze at the wrong moment, inhaling again just as a wave of water from Mikoto hit her in the face. Spluttering, she hacked and coughed a few time to get her breathing back under her control. " _WHAT?"_

"You're not really supposed to die _here_ , silly." Kushina clucked at her as she helped the Uchiha teen haul her upright. "And I was asking if you ever wanted to get married."

"Oh." Blinking her mismatched eyes clear of excess water, she took a moment to think about that issue. That… was not something she had thought of before.

With everything going on; her chakra difficulties now, ANBU before that, and being confused over reality for most her life here; Natsumi hadn't given thought to how she would fit into the future besides keeping her friends alive and happy. She had always wanted kids, and as siblings were never something she had growing up the first time and really liked about being alive now, and if she ever did have children she wanted them to have a brother or sister to care for.

Not that she had ever told Minato that she liked having him as an almost-little-brother, it sounded way to girly even in _her_ head. It was something to offer to sate the other kunoichis' curiosity for now as she scrambled with this new issue to think about.

"I do eventually want children, at least two. I hadn't given a thought to with who yet."

"We're going to just have to think of someone you can have all the kids you want with, then." The Whirlpool Princess told the blinking assassin, elbowing the Uchiha teen distractedly frowning at her dripping shoulder length hair to get her to agree.

"Kushina-hime… I don't think that's a good idea given-"

Scowling, the Uzumaki planted her hands on her hips and glared at the bewildered, misplaced soldier who trailed off uneasily. "If I was you, I would have ignored the shinobi life and found someone to be happy with instead of jumping in with both feet to the darker side. _Kami-sama_ , Natsumi-chan! You deserve some kind of happiness after everything you know, and if gakis will do it for you then we'll help you get them!"

Natsumi opened her mouth to sound out an automatic protest and snapped it shut without a word of argument spoken, her head of individual psychology training for managing platoons of soldiers kicking in and worrying the other preteen's motives over.

She had avoided the hell out of the other kunoichis just to keep from having to give an opinion on the subject of marriage and boys, weird out by the stubborn thought of _they were thirty years younger than her_ , even though the general age of clan ninjas marrying was around fifteen and most shinobi saw to it they had at least one child by twenty at the latest to continue whatever skills they specialized in or family techniques they knew in case of premature death in the field. That had been the reason Mesuji Natsumi had been born, her biological mother on this side wanted a legacy to give to the village even if she wouldn't, and eventually hadn't, been alive to see that legacy grow up into a good shinobi for Konoha.

Did Kushina think she would never have a family? Was that why she was insisting on this even though the ex-ANBU assassin had never given any thought to it before?

It was reasonable, taking into account that the Uzumaki was now the jinchūriki for the Kyuubi, for her to think no one would want to willingly get that close to a demon container. Reasonable, but unlikely with what Natsumi knew.

That may be why the preteen was trying to sound out the idea of setting her up with someone. Mikoto's future had already been planned for her, Kushina and everyone else knew what the Uchiha teen was doing with the rest of her life. Neither the ex-assassin nor jinchūriki had ever given each other any kind of hint to a preference for the future aside of being good kunoichi.

With her other life, the Uzumaki probably saw some parallels between them. A burden neither really wanted, but held onto for the village's benefit. Her with her prior military experience, and she with a demon in her gut. It didn't sound even at all, Natsumi didn't think her bloody death _remotely_ compared to dealing with Kurama's rage at this point in time, but if that was what the other kunoichi thought…

…but _Kushina_ and _Minato_ … right, getting ahead of herself. No one but her knew of her kouhai and the jinchūriki being a couple before their end. For fuck's sake, she wasn't supposed to know of the Kyuubi's location even with her low level ANBU Intel clearance. "Only if we can help you."

Blindsided with something she hadn't thought of being turned on her, the preteen hesitated mid-nod. Mikoto, unknowing of what the real issue was besides Natsumi's past life, nodded seriously as she ensured her wired shuriken were tightly secured before they had the chance to slide out of her waterproofed thigh holster. "Right, sounds fair. We'll have to find someone for the both of you."

"R-right…" Kushina faltered only another moment on agreeing, one hand drifting across her stomach.

"Agreed then. I'll go on a date when you do, Kushina-hime."

Secure in that promise, assuming that the Uzumaki preteen would be way too caught up in her kouhai in a few years to bother her about anything like that, she missed the momentarily calculating gleam in the Uchiha's eyes as she readjusted the bladed chopsticks holding her now wet hair up and handed back the senbon that had held up the redhead's she had snatched from falling into the water earlier.

"I do hope you didn't mean we'd get the same man, Mikoto-chan."

" _NATSUMI!"_

"I'm just saying that it would be more than a little awkward, Kushina-hime. If you want to, though…"

"You'd better run, Natsumi-chan. I don't think I've ever seen her that red before."

\V/

Sakumo handed her a wooden sword the next time the whole group met up.

Natsumi inspected the length of dead tree in her hands for a moment, before curiously looking up at her old ANBU captain. "What's this for, taicho?"

The older looking, silver haired shinobi hunkered down to sit on his ankles. Hatake's apparently were all tall bastards regardless of generation, because that brought the two of them to eye level even with her slowly rising height. "I had the idea that since your chakra nature was similar to my family that the control methods we use might help you. Jiraiya knows the tricks now, but he asked for a bokken so you could get used to one before I start teaching you kenjutsu."

"Thanks, taicho. I promise to return it in the same condition." The misplaced soldier hefted the weight of the wooden mockup of a katana, knowing from another life wielding steel weapons, rifles not swords, about the same size that a real one wasn't too far off from the weighted one in her hands. Possibly a lead core inside to mimic the actual weight of steel, or some kind of metal ore.

"Now put away you're pointy stick and come over here, Natsumi-sempai!" Minato grinned at the glare shot his way. "What? It's pointy and a stick."

Oh dear kami-sama, she had made a monster out of her poor adorable little kouhai. "If I didn't think taicho would smack me, I'd smack you with my pointy stick."

Natsumi earned herself a hair ruffle with that, and she switched targets for her evil look because the smirking older man had knocked her hair bun askew with a few deft pulls before messing up her hair.

"In the interest of all our sanity, I'm going to have to insist the two of you shut up about pointy sticks now." Inoichi glowered at all of them from where he was seated with the Hyūga twins, Chouza, and a grinning Mikoto playing poker. The Uchiha teen had to be cheating with her eyes in that group, since the Hyūgas were way too proper to use their kekkai genkai in such a manner even if it would be easier for them to hide it than their old genin teammate could.

Tucking away her hair ties in her thigh pouch, there really wasn't much of a point putting her hair back up when Nawaki had spotted her already and was grinning ear to ear, Natsumi tucked the wooden length against her side like any ANBU traveling with a live blade. Nodding her thanks to her taicho for the training sword and then bowing to Hokage-sama and Biwako for hosting them all in the Sarutobi clan compound, she walked across the yard with the older looking Hatake to see what the others around her physical age were really doing under that table.

Sarutobi Hiruzen had told his wife about the gatherings the Toad Sage had invited him to only recently, and the woman was ecstatic over the idea and badgered her husband into inviting them all over for the next one. Biwako was a retired iryou-nin that specialized in kunoichi child birthing now and with her own newborn to handle,Asuma _-chan_ and how weird was _that_ , the woman had less and less time to socialize with others outside the clan compound or hospital so she had jumped on the idea with both feet.

These meetings, now that they were no longer over Natsumi's supposed sanity, were almost like mandatory officer and enlisted picnics that the misplaced soldier recalled from her other life with the side option of testing each other in a spar. Jiraiya had been extremely amused to learn that his sensei's wife was following traditions of another age's military wives in wanting a party like atmosphere to include herself into.

There were points where that parallel failed; Biwako had been part of this military before and could keep up with the usual discussions well enough without them having to change the topic to a safer one for civilians and besides the tea there was no food other than what the Akimichi heir had with him; but it was similar enough Natsumi felt echoes of her other life bleeding through.

Now it really was more like a social setting like Biwako thought than a meeting over the stability of mental health one of them probably didn't have.

Minato and Kushina had stolen the Toad Sage's attention and were deep in a discussion of barrier type fūinjutsu, Tsunade was probably taking about recent medical jutsus and procedures with Biwako from what little she could understand of it, and now Sakumo and Hiruzen was listening to Uchiha Fugaku and Orochimaru discuss the recent findings of R&D as they all watched the blatant cheating going on at the poker table, as the card game wasn't really much fun for shinobi unless everyone was being underhanded at the same time.

Natsumi really didn't know what to make about the Snake Summoner, and she ran what she knew so far through her head as she watched the really ongoing game of who could cheat who the most.

Orochimaru had blown into the scientific research division after being formally pulled from the last of the war effort, put his foot down about his teammate's female student's time being wasted continually by going back and demonstrating her jutsu if it caused the civilian and shinobi researchers to be useless the rest of the day. He then declared the technique the misplaced soldier had developed for her ANBU assassinations a _kinjutsu_ for everyone else's seeming inability to use it pending _kekkai genkai_ status if another of her bloodline _could_ use it and they couldn't find a method to mimic or reproduce the effects.

No one had dared to argue with him and the subject of dissention was sorted accordingly, and Jiraiya had all but thrown the other sannin a party for dealing with the situation without letting it drag on for a few more years.

Now he was thick in the work she, Fugaku, and Mikoto had started; looking for a way to defeat the jutsu for others without mastering senjutsu for the Uchiha Clan. He had theorized that searching their methods of finding a counter would let him reverse engineer exactly how it was done, so their little study group put together by the Uchiha Clan now had a sannin's reasoning backing them up to the rest of the shinobi corps wondering why it was being worked on in the first place.

The man himself was perfectly decent for a ninja, if a bit snobbish in his jutsu classifications and way too interested in bloodlines for Natsumi's liking. He was also all different shades of creepy with the slit pupil serpent eyes and nearly paper white skin combined with the hiss like slur in his voice, the stamps mastering the Snake Summoning Contract had left on him for not at least learning some senjutsu beforehand.

Orochimaru was also a brilliant researcher in jutsu creation and how to defeat them if what she had seen these last few months were any measure of him. He was able to seamlessly fit in with their little Uchiha research group after the initial awkwardness created by his lofty rank, and had started giving sound suggestions for how to solve the problems they were running into after reading through and understanding their few months of work in an hour before that.

He was also Jiraiya's best friend and old rival, and Tsunade's sounding board for her medical jutsu development.

However, and there was one hell of a detractor in this, the man was also the one to create the Cursed Seal of Heaven from fūinjutsu and had killed his sensei when aligned against Konohagakure's interest. He was the reason Yamato/Tenzou was implanted with Senju genes and the only reason that yet unborn kid had to grow up in ANBU. In his search for immortality he had subsumed the bodies of countless other shinobi as well as twisting a number of them around his little finger when he founded Otogakure no Sato, only to be used up as cannon folder or for experimentation later on.

 _He had defected from Konoha to be a nuke-nin_.

In both lives, the one she had lived and the one she was living now, any kind of betrayal was not acceptable for any reason.

What the hell was she supposed to do with her interactions with him? Jiraiya saw the man like a brother, Tsunade genuinely liked his help when she ran into a wall, and Sarutobi Hiruzen had taught him since childhood. She did genuinely like the man at the moment for the help he had given her team, but she didn't trust him.

At all.

She simply watched the poker game in progress with her taicho as Nawaki amused himself with her long hair, listening to Fugaku and Orochimaru exchange ideas about how her kinjutsu worked and the methods needed to be tested to see if they could counter it. She had an idea, one that she had only thought of when last thinking on her kouhai's supposed death and was going to be stupidly hard for anyone else to use if she was right, but she wasn't going to offer it until the Snake Summoner proved to her what he was going to do in the end. The Uchiha Clan could wait.

(ooo000ooo)

"Aa, one moment the three of you." Jiraiya called out after his retreating team of brats before they could get too far away from his old sensei's clan compound.

Two blond heads and one dark one turned up to him, and the Toad Sage had to grin down at them. Minato and Natsumi both looked a little annoyed for being interrupted in whatever discussion they had going on and Inoichi looked desperately grateful for the reprieve.

"Chūnin exams are being held in Sunagakure no Sato in two months now that the war is completely ended and the non-aggression treaties are in effect. In or out?"

Natsumi _blanched_ bone white, but his boys looked excited and whooped.

Jiraiya kept his eyes on the reincarnated girl-woman as he answered the questions shot at him by two thirds of his team. Sakumo had told him about the quietness the misplaced soldier had shown when they had just approached the boarders of Wind Country, and now knowing what he knew it was perfectly understandable for her not to like the region.

She had _died_ in a desert, and not even Inoichi's clan knew what kind of trauma that did to a mind. Jiraiya was sure that if anyone he cared for died, he would come to hate the weather and the place they died in much like how the kunoichi that looked like a girl didn't like the desert she and her platoon had been killed in once in another life.

She _had_ to at least work through it enough so she could _visit_ the desert, missions to other countries were common at chūnin. Not to mention there was no way she would be able to avoid facing the sand dunes in ANBU if she did go back. There wasn't any kind of tag to put on her records to tell the mission office not to assign her Wind Country missions because of a trauma they couldn't share with them. If she couldn't even visit Suna in a non-combat situation and handle the small amount of combat expected in the chūnin exams, he wouldn't be able to let her continue her kunoichi career.

"You're an evil, _evil_ man, sensei." The ex-assassin gave him a lopsided grin when she had recovered from the shock of his announcement. Minato and Inoichi did their own bit of paling when the reason behind her saying something like that to their teacher perforated their excitement for promotion. "Sure, I'm in. What about my chakra?"

"You have that pointy stick of Sakumo's, don't you? We'll work on it for the next month or two and get you comfortable with that."

\V/

"You don't have to come, sempai. I'm sure we can get Kushina-chan to fill in your spot on the team if you don't want to go to Suna." Minato told her a few days later, after he and Inoichi had pried the white haired man's reasoning out of him for suggesting they take the Sunagakure chūnin exams. They were now in the blond orphan's apartment, replacing and sharping several tools that had seen use lately.

"Watch your brush, and yes I do." Natsumi remarked from Minato's futon as she checked the sharpness of her kunai, lying on her stomach and kicking her feet in the air as she watched him replace the explosive tags he had used in their last C-ranked mission of clearing out a bandit group trying to knock over one of Konoha's supporting villages. She was pretty sure their Hokage wouldn't let them take the jinchūriki out of the village for just a chūnin promotion exam, anyways. "Jiraiya-sensei has a point. I have to get over it if I'm going to continue being a kunoichi."

The blond hummed irritably as he checked his lines, scraping the tag he had been working on when he realized two lines had crossed where they shouldn't have. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, but if you insist…"

The misplaced soldier smirked as the other preteen trailed off and lightly blushed when Kushina all but kicked open his door, probably looking for her.

"Natsumi-chan, did you know one of the Hyūga twins is trying to see you?" She asked brightly before see exactly what she had walked in on. "Err… hi, Minato-kun."

"Which one, Kushina-hime? Hiashi-san or Hizashi-kun?"

"Erm… Hizashi-kun, I think. The nice one, anyways."

Natsumi pushed herself upright and tossed her kunai back into her thigh pouch. She hadn't been expecting that, what in the world did Hizashi need from her? "Would you mind sitting here and watching my kouhai's lines? He tends to cross the Easterly Winds with the Bridge of Four Dragons in a standard yield explosive tag, and I don't feel like being blown up during the chūnin exams if he tried to use that in Suna."

Minato went beet red, much more clashing with his acid blond hair than the pinker flush from before.

Flouncing over with a nod, Kushina plopped herself down in the space the assassin vacated. "Sure."

With a backwards wave of thanks she poked her head out of her kouhai's door and cocked an eyebrow at the Hyūga standing a ways down the outside walkway that wrapped around the apartment building. "You had better be Hizashi-kun, because I haven't forgiven Hiashi-san yet for the Gentle Fist backhand he snuck in during our last spar."

She could barely tell in the dim evening light, but she was _sure_ there was some rolling of silver eyes going on over there. That was really Hizashi then. Pulling herself back into Minato's little cubby of an apartment, she grinned at the desperate and panicky look her little kouhai gave her. "I'll be back later. Don't wait up, kids."

She was sure any tags Minato worked on while she was gone would have to be scrapped, but the sacrifice would be worth it if he would just _stop_ stuttering around the other fūinjutsu user.

Shutting the door behind her firmly, she strolled down over to the clan affiliated teen standing outside the floor reserved for jōnin candidate genin without family to support them. "What's up?"

"The sky." The Hyūga deadpanned back, keeping his arms firmly crossed over his chest in the wide robes the Hyūga clan favored for their shinobi. "May I have a moment of your time, Natsumi-san?"

She raised her eyebrow again.

Hizashi stiffened up even further, if it was possible. "Privately, please."

Natsumi blinked, took in just how uncomfortable the Hyūga was, and slowly nodded as her humor was replaced with seriousness. If pressed, she would say the Hyūga chūnin was _depressed._ There hadn't been anything in the manga she had read about a problem from the Hyūga clan during this time, so what the hell was going wrong with him?

"I know a good tea house."

"That would be acceptable."

(ooo000ooo)

The batty old lady that ran the only tea house the assassin knew about all but squealed over her 'stoic and handsome companion', her words, before giving over the pot of green tea she had ordered. Natsumi quirked a smile back as she took hold of the hot pot of tea and walked back to where she had seated Hizashi.

Some things she didn't want to ever change.

"So," the misplaced soldier started as she poured them both a cup before sitting back and looking at the male across the table from her, "what is it?"

The Hyūga twin glowered at his tea cup, keeping his lips firmly together.

The mismatch eyed assassin cocked her head to the side, and took a random stab in the dark since this would be a lot easier if he would start talking. "You've found out you prefer men? I don't know if I am the right person to talk about that stuff to… Jiraiya-sensei might know, but I'll give it a shot if you want me too."

" _What!_ " The teen across from her jumped in his seat, wide almost-blank looking eyes staring at her in shock before narrowing. "No, Natsumi-san. Are you sure about this place? It is very… exposed."

Yeah, she could give him that… but on the other hand… "Hizashi-kun, we're right over ANBU headquarters. The little old lady that runs this place wouldn't hear me even if I turned around and shout on top of my lungs _MINATO-KUN LIKES KUSHINA-HIME!"_

When the older woman only notice the two of them looking her way after a few shocked and silent moments, she beamed and waved as she called if they needed something. Natsumi cheerfully waved back with a negative shake of her head, nudging the Hyūga almost gaping across from her to do the same.

"There are a lot of privacy seals inked into this place, Hizashi-kun. From the storefront to these little tables, done by whatever seal masters there had been around the founding of Konoha and the establishment of the _Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai_. One way Silent Sphere Seals, Vision Blur Barriers, that kind of thing. I make no allowances for mistakes if I can, especially if someone _asks_ for my help."

The Hyūga nodded shakily, wrapping his hands around the tea in front of him as he faced her again. "I have… I am now in an arranged marriage."

When that was all that came out of the teen, Natsumi sighed and sipped her still hot tea. So much for talking thing. "Do you not want to be? Is she ugly? Are you really sure you don't want a guy?"

Hizashi's face twisted up nearly into a sneer, but looked more like he was feeling ill. Which was impressive, she was sure he had never had that expression on his face before.

"You have to give me a little more to work with. I'm not the mind reader of our group."

"I have no objections to my intended _bride_ … but I have no feelings either way for being married at my age."

"So? You're male. If I hadn't caught you and your twin staring at Mikoto-chan's, Kushina-hime's, and _my own_ ass on occasion, I would wonder about your clan." Natsumi smirked at the embarrassed flush now lighting up Hizashi's face. "Yet again, the two of you are male. Human nature to look. It's normal to be less than enthused with being hitched, in my last life I hadn't even thought of it at twenty-seven, much less at fourteen like you are now."

The Hyūga gave a sigh of his own and lowered his eyes to stare at his tea, cheeks still burning.

"Have you thought of this from her perspective? Who is she, anyways?"

"Hyūga Misaki, another of the branch families that has very distant ties to my own line. And… I have not."

Natsumi hummed lowly, filling up her cup again. "Well… are you upset at the clan arranging the match for you, or are you just looking for space at the moment?"

Hizashi's jaw worked for a silent moment. "I do not wish for children, Natsumi-chan."

The assassin blinked, taken off guard. She jerked the teapot up before her cup could overflow. "What?"

"Any child of mine will be branded with the Caged Bird Seal after they turn three, like any other branch house member of the Hyūga clan and treated as such. I do not wish for that to happen."

Ah… oh. Shit. _Neji_. Well… _fuck_.

Hizashi was right in being concerned over the fate of any children he may have, Hyūga Neji had been a bitter little brat until Naruto had beaten some sense into him during their first chūnin exam. He had turned into a damn good jōnin, a Hyūga branch member that learned the main branch's secrets of the Gentle Fist style of taijutsu on his own without guidance from his uncle.

Would making the father miserable for the genius talent of the next generation seem like a good idea to anyone saner than she was? Yes? No?

Now she had to decide if she let the Hyūga genius stay with his fate or do something to botch that all up, starting with his currently very unhappy possible father.

Natsumi placed the pot down, set her arms on the table, and leaned forward to impress the seriousness of the issue into him. "Are you sure you want to talk about this with me?"

Stall, woman! _Buy the time to think with._

"I… I do not know anyone else that may have a suggestion as to what I can do about this. You are both around my own age and older, and someone removed from the bloodline ensuring mindset of a clan raised shinobi." He kept his nearly metallic white eyes on the tea cup he was nearly gripping for dear life on, rattling off more words than the assassin had ever heard from either Hyūga twin before. "If what you told us of your life before is as true as Inoichi-san insists, you also made yourself available to others off any kind of record so you may solve some of their personal problems before they started to affect the mission assigned to you. I am asking that of you now."

Well… yet again, _fuck_. Throwing in the towel was sounding like a good option in the face of that bluntly honest little spiel. Neji genius hanging in the balance or not, one of the decisions she had recently was over ensuring their happiness, right?

"Look, Hizashi-kun. You have a few choices at this moment with what you've given me. You can tell your clan no, and deal with the consequences of a pissed off betrothed and clan. You can say yes, and deal with the child thing as it happens. Either way, you should know neither me nor Minato-kun, or many of us in this little group thing we've got, will let you live apart from your clan without _something_ over your head if it comes to that."

"Natsumi-chan, I'm not sure you realize what the Cursed Seal of the Caged Bird is. If I try to go against the clan, they will kill me using it."

The assassin's tea cup cracked down the middle, spilling the tea out onto the table. She ignored it and the scalding liquid that ran over her hands. "I'm not sure _you_ understand, Hizashi. Any kind of change won't happen until someone stands up and says _this is fucked up_. If you're really that scared of dying, why are you a shinobi? If you don't want this seal of your clan's on your children, _say so before you have them_. If they insist you continue your side of the Hyūga line, refuse. Does your brother even know how you feel about this? I cannot believe your own _twin_ has silently gone along with the things giving you second thoughts without some of his own, the two of you are _not_ that different."

She leaned back and inspected her scalded fingers while the Hyūga branch member absorbed that. Apparently, she was going to go all out in giving everyone a chance to screw everything up.

 _Damn_ though, getting a Hyūga to talk about their problems was migraine inducing.

"I… suppose I should be having this conversation with my nii-sama."

"That may be a good idea to start with." Had they ever discussed it before? Hiashi couldn't be completely unaware of his brother's fate in their clan elders' eyes, could he? Maybe without someone to talk to and give him a swift kick in the rear about it, Hizashi would have gone to his doom with the stupid warrior stoicism Hyūgas prided themselves on. "Would you like to do that somewhere we secure with Kushina-hime's privacy seal, or in your clan compound?"

"Neutral ground away from the clan elders would be preferable to broach this topic."

Natsumi nodded as she mopped up her spilt tea with the towel that normally just protected the hand from a hot metal teapot handle. "You'll need ask Kushina-hime for the tag with her seal on it, or I can get it for you before we leave for Suna, and may I suggest the top of the Hokage monument? It has a very nice view."

It was a good thing ANBU maintained a small storage closet filled with replacements for broken tea cups. She was sure that little old lady would be less than amused at the real total of broken cups the shadow ranks of the shinobi corps had gone through over the years.

As she replaced her broken cup and poured herself another full of tea, since Hizashi seemed to need the time to think with, Natsumi started to wonder if Neji would be born now or if that ship had just sailed on by.

\V/

Yin release was the act of only using the spiritual part of chakra, and was the basis of most high ranked medical jutsu and genjutsu. The colors associated with that release were bright green and blue. Yang release was only the physical part, the part required mainly by taijutsu techniques and ninjutsu that also gave life to the elemental properties some jutsu utilized to affect reality. Its colors were generally accepted to be bright red and yellow.

Red physical energy and blue spiritual energy together made purple chakra only when mixed by the inexperienced ninja trying to master either release at the same time when the balanced chakra leaked into it. More spirit blue than physical red made chakra lilac in color, like more physical red than spirit blue made a maroon color in chakra. It said so in the scroll she read in the Uchiha clan's library when they were studying with Orochimaru on how to counter her jutsu.

 _Hello_ , obvious conclusion… for those who deal with _both_ Yin and Yang releases or at least looked them up because she was tired of not having a name to whatever was wrong with her. Like, _maybe_ , five shinobi in all of Konohagakure dealt solely with either one and could have seen a part of her problem themselves, but not both to clue in on the mixing.

Rock Lee must _only_ be able to use the Yang part of chakra due to his compromised chakra system and as such could not balance his chakra for the life of him. Almost like how all the Yin available to her messed up anything that needed the Yang more to effect reality properly. Maito Gai had to have realized that himself when he took on the shinobi trainee that couldn't use balanced chakra as a student and turned him into one of Konoha's best taijutsu masters.

Without that Yin, Natsumi had to wonder if Lee would be able to effortlessly break her jutsu when he would be around her age now, or if it would affect him like the Uchihas with sharingan active at the moment.

She used _both_ a Yin release and actually balanced chakra at any given moment. That was how she came up with that ANBU assassination technique of hers. Reported to be experienced like a double layered genjutsu, _because it was both a genjutsu and a Yin release illusion at the same time_.

Hey, she was almost a genjutsu _master_ … if you discounted that she really only had the one jutsu to her name and couldn't get a real one started because of her terrible chakra control.

Apparently being completely off one's nut helped one out immensely with the whole imagination based genjutsu branch. Who knew?

Oddly enough, putting it all into words was helping immensely with her concentration… or maybe it was the bokken Sakumo-taicho had given her.

Before, using chakra control exercises had been like herding cats. Possible, but it would be unruly because she was trying to find what part of the chakra was wrong and what wasn't at the same time. She had been too caught up in trying to feel something 'off' in the already usual warm prickle feeling of chakra separating from her system that the extra Yin energy had passed on through her grip because it _hadn't been wrong_. It had only been more than what was usual for others, but normal for her.

Jiraiya had been pleasantly surprised at how much faster she had grasped the Hatake's chakra exercises than the ones they had been doing. Natsumi had to admit she liked no longer being afraid she was going to fall off a tree while walking in circles under a branch.

Keeping her overflowing Yin energy in the hilt while the rest of her chakra coated the wooden blade was helping her out immensely. She didn't want to know how hard it was going to be to try to use either Yang or Yin releases by themselves if it had taken her this long to solve how _not_ to use one.

This now meant all the possibilities of jutsus were open to her, and she was damn near giddy at the thought.

The white haired man clapped his hands together. "Much better, neko-chan! Now…"

At his hastily smothered giggling, Natsumi was feeling less like she had accomplished anything of worth and more like she had just signed herself up for something horribly bad. "Now what?"

"We've got to make all the skills Minato-kun and Inoichi-kun use on reflex now something you reach for by second nature _as well as_ keeping your chakra separated like this." Jiraiya grinned at her, rather evilly in her opinion. "And since we only got a month and a half left to do this in, Sakumo volunteered to help you out while I catch up with the last bits of Minato-kun's fūinjutsu and Inoichi-kun hits his clan's library like an explosive tag."

Taicho? That didn't sound too bad.

"You're going on a little training trip with him."

Natsumi blinked up at him, still not seeing what the man was so gleeful over.

"For about a month and a half."

"Spit it out, you pervert of an old man."

"Oi! I'm naturally white haired!" The Toad Sage glared down at his unimpressed female student. Admittedly, that he had nothing to say against the first part of her insult kind of took any real force out of his protest. "Fine then. You're going on an _ANBU style_ training run."

Which meant the two of them would run for about a day or two to get out of any area a civilian would wander into, then basically try to kill each other, before running back to the village walls and doing it all over again the next day. Nothing like the threat of your impending doom to spur one on to mastering some kind of skill. "Kind of like I did halfway through the third year of the academy? Okay."

Jiraiya scowled down at her. "It's no fun unless you're scared, Natsumi-chan."

"What do I have to be scared over? It's _taicho_."

The Toad Sage threw his hand up in the air. "What is the world coming to when the genin are no longer scared of the shadow ranks?"

"I _was_ part of the shadow ranks, sensei."

He slapped her upside the head and stormed off with a huff. Natsumi quirked a lopsided smile at his back. " _What time!_ "

" _Dawn's break!_ "

\V/

Minato paced before the main gates of the village, worried over his yet again missing sempai. One of these days he was going to create a seal so he could track the damn assassin down when he needed to.

She hadn't returned with their sensei nearly a month and a half ago after training, apparently the last day she spent in the village before whatever happened took place, but that hadn't been unusual since she had been working hard on her chakra control and sometimes stayed out late to polish it up with the wooden bokken given to her by sensei's friend. The fact she never opened up her door when Kushina all but broke it down the next day after she didn't show up for team training had been unusual and worrying.

Natsumi had to be the only one to know what was up with the twins lately as well. The normally stoic seeming chūnin of the Hyūga clan who had some kind of falling out on top of the Hokage monument, only to last all of three hours ignoring each other before reconciling whatever was wrong between them and starting to put their heads together for some reason only known to the three of them. It was confusing the hell out of the rest of them, even Shikaku had asked and the Nara heir normally didn't care if it wasn't tactical or shogi related.

Hizashi had only told him to pass on his thanks to his sempai whenever she got back to the village, the only clue given to the rest of them about _what_ the whole thing was over.

Jiraiya had only huffed and told them she was _fine_ when the subject was brought up to him, but the older man had still looked a little worried when he was glancing at the village walls every now and again when he was working on Minato's fūinjutsu skills.

The misplaced soldier had _also_ been helping him with his fūinjutsu, because she suggested trying to teach her to ensure he really knew the ninja art. Minato hadn't realized how much that had helped him remember seal configurations and uses until she hadn't been there anymore to nitpick at his lessons. Natsumi would never have his technical skills or Kushina's innate knowledge of fūinjutsu, but she could beat both of them out for quickest comprehension at a glance.

Minato belatedly realized over the last month and a half that his sempai did a lot of things for their little group, from helping him with his sealing to making sure each of them were doing well even if they missed a bi-monthly meeting.

He and Inoichi had problems with team training without her; Kushina had mopped around for a good while about the assassin missing some planned trip with her and Mikoto; Shikaku and Fugaku had been annoyed with Jiraiya for setting up her training trip outside the village since it had kept her from making some shogi game and dropping her out of their research group for the interim; Chouza had been disappointed that the dishes of the misplaced soldier's past life she had been making for him to sample wouldn't be made for the next few months; and only she had known there was something going wrong with the Hyūga twins.

Realizing how much they were used to the ex-ANBU assassin being around made the blond fūinjutsu user dread the day Natsumi went back to ANBU full time, because that would cut her time down to what it had been like just before the end of the war and he had rarely seen her then.

Now it was the day of their team's leave taking from Konohagakure, or it was supposed to be. Without his sempai they were a person short for the three man cells supposed to be registered at the beginning of the exams. Not to mention if the girl-woman had died on the training trip he had planned for her, Minato was mostly sure his whole group of friends would probably try to lynch his sensei.

For that matter, he would help his friends do said lynching.

Jiraiya glanced back at him from his view of the main highway. "Stop panicking. Natsumi-chan will be here."

Inoichi grimaced, tugging at the high ponytail he had recently taken to wearing his hair in. No wonder the former assassin did it so often, it was kinda habit forming. "If she's not here in an hour or two, we're going to be late."

"Late for what?" Natsumi chirped as she suddenly slid into formation next to Minato. She had her wooden training sword strapped to her back and was a little mud splashed and ragged around the edges, but seemed to be still all there. She also had a nearly too wide grin on her face, the one that told the blonds that she realized she had been doing something stupid and if you commented on it she was going to make them _hurt_.

Sakumo nodded to the white haired man from behind her. He didn't look much better than the misplaced soldier did. "She's good to go. Had a bit of a sticky situation in the beginning, but nothing else came up."

"You've been checked out by Tsunade-hime and the hospital already?"

"Yes, sensei." The high tail she had swung with the motion of her nod, since most of her hair looked like it had been braided and wrapped around the base of the tail with her hair sticks, leaving only a few feet on the end free. "I've got the medical report from her in my pack."

The Toad Sage nodded seriously as he turned to face his students. "Last bit of orders, Hokage-sama wants the other villages reminded why Konoha ended the war on our terms. Anything and _everything_ is allowed against non Konoha or Suna shinobi while the exams are taking place."

Oh, _ouch_. Natsumi had been ANBU once, which meant the assassin had been given leave to ensure they passed by any and all means necessary. The two of them had the same permission, but there was a lot more the former ANBU agent could do with that than them.

She apparently realized that. The grin she wore now was not a happy one. "Hai, sensei."

(ooo000ooo)

"Another training trip? Why didn't you tell anyone about this one?"

"Blame our pervert of a sensei. _He_ told me dawn's break, Sakumo-taicho showed up not _two hours later_ with ANBU standard field packs so we could go right then."

Minato's irritable look was redirected to the back of the sannin leading them to Wind Country. Jiraiya's shoulders were shaking suspiciously.

Inoichi called over from her kouhai's other side, to the left and behind their sensei. "So do you know what's going on with the Hyūga twins?"

"Hizashi-kun also wanted me to pass on his thanks, but he didn't say why." Her kouhai added without taking his eyes from their sensei's back.

"Yes? Maybe, if Hizashi-kun took my advice. Ask me when we get back and I can ask them." If Hizashi was alright enough so neither Minato nor Inoichi jumped her for what she knew, then it could probably wait until they got back to the village for airing what little of the Hyūga clan dirty laundry she was supposed to know. That whole incident had the possibility to go horribly wrong if neither twin was very careful about it, and her gut was curling not knowing what they had done while she had been training and what they were going to do while they were in Suna.

"Up." The Toad Sage called back to them, and all four of them leapt up onto the sturdy branches hanging overhead to let the civilian caravan pass them by.

Natsumi no longer had to run up a tree trunk to get up to that height or scan ahead by several yards to plot how she was going to run and jump from tree to tree, and she spent the next five minutes they ran in the tree tops blessing her taicho to Suna and back again for sitting her down and explaining how chakra was supposed to work to enhance muscles in shinobi.

Hatake Sakumo had noticed pretty fast that she hadn't been using her chakra to make many of the jumps and runs they had went through the first few days of their training trip, now that he didn't have to worry about two other squad mates and how to complete the ANBU mission they had been assigned. Her old ANBU captain had looked like he wanted to smack either himself or her when he worked out what she had been doing instead, and to be fair Natsumi wanted to run her head into a tree a few times herself after that conversation.

Her shot legs hadn't been the problem with speed she had when she was in ANBU. Ninjas' used chakra to ease the burden of extended running when they didn't have to be stealthy or avoid sensor types, like they did to increase the information the eye could take in or how far they could hear. Since chakra was partially physical, it could keep tendons from snapping, muscles from seizing, and bones from breaking in a taijutsu fight. With the spiritual part, they should be able to perceive more of reality through genjutsu than a normal human.

Natsumi… hadn't known that.

Oh… it had been covered in the academy. The last two months of review only touched on chakra based body enhancements and advanced tai- and ninjutsu theory since that kind of knowledge was considered something only a jōnin sensei would decide if a genin team would need if they passed whatever test they wanted to try their prospective jōnin candidates with.

The last two months of the academy that Natsumi hadn't done and the jōnin sensei she never got _because she had been in ANBU before her last year in the academy ended_.

She had been working up to realizing that by herself with her Yin release recognition, and the assassination jutsu she had made that stopped her trying any kind of chakra based enhancing on herself. The conclusion she reached before ANBU had been that muscle control and stamina had been worked up almost to an insane degree and that had hampered her for the last year and a half by keeping her from trying to enhance herself with chakra on her own to ease the process.

Sakumo had been impressed that she had done all of it before without that general shinobi trick to develop that strength easily and suggested that with her unusual chakra composition it might have been a moot point to know before that, but it didn't make up for the embarrassment of having to have that pointed out to her by her captain just before her chūnin examination.

The one bright side they had figured out about the misstep was that Natsumi had more speed now that it was boosted with chakra than any other genin would probably have and she also had more strength available without chakra than usual for her muscle mass. One of the downsides she noticed was that taicho was never going to let her live that down.

Kami-sama help her if Jiraiya-sensei ever learned of it.

Right now it was almost ludicrously easy to keep up with her team. On missions she was always the last one to meet back up with them, and the Toad Sage had probably thought it was some kind of ANBU habit of one last check around before calling it done, but it had really been because she was _that_ slow. Good thing sensei preferred to walk when he could, or that problem of hers would have been exposed in front of her boys a lot sooner than it had.

Now she had to consciously check to make sure she wouldn't overshoot her position at the back of the diamond quick pace formation, the sannin in front because he knew the way and Natsumi in back because she had the experience to be a vicious threat if need be.

\V/

"This sucks." Chouza plucked at the green vest issued to all chūnin that he couldn't wear.

"That we got a field promotion before they made us take the annoying exams for it?" Shikaku gave his best friend a sardonic look from under his tree. "Or that you can't wear the damn vest because Akimichi's have their own supply to issue standard shinobi gear from?"

The heir to the body size jutsu clan hunched his shoulders as he fiddled with the zipper of the vest three times too small for him. "No, that Natsumi-chan's going to be gone even longer. I was really looking forward to the next cuisine she was going to show me."

Shikaku rolled his eyes, internally swearing at the events of the last two months and that it would take two more for the team Jiraiya-sama lead to return. Chouza was going to sigh about the food he was missing out on until the team was resorted into a chūnin configuration of either three or four teammates and gave him something else to think about, and that had to wait until this next chūnin exam was over and Konoha knew who was going to be promoted and who needed more training. By that point Natsumi would be back in the village anyways, so there wasn't much the Nara heir could do about his friend's troubles.

Damn it all, she hadn't finished teaching him how to play chess and Chinese checkers and they _still_ had a shogi game to finish. Who had given her permission to disappear like that, anyways? Jiraiya-sama?

He was going to sic the moping Kushina on the man for this.

Slumping back on the grass of their empty training grounds, Shikaku scowled up at the sky. He couldn't even take a nap now because a Hyūga was coming this way and probably wanted the training field. He agreed with Chouza, this sucked.

"Excuse me, Chouza-san. Shikaku-san, may I have a moment of your time?"

The Nara heir tilted his head to the side just enough to identify who it was talking to them. A dark eyebrow raised up, this was unexpected. "Hizashi-san?"

"With Natsumi-chan out of the village, we need one with some tactical knowledge to assist us with a small… problem."

Shikaku hauled himself upright, sharing a look with a surprised Chouza. _Chan?_ That had never come out of either twin before.

For that matter, what small problem? The one that cause the falling out between the twins?

"Uh… sure?"

"I happen to know a good tea house. Will you come with me?"

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku blinked at the twins seated across from him. Then, just because the situation was _that_ unreal, he did it again.

"So let me get this straight. Natsumi-chan brought you here when you asked for privacy, the _tea house_ over _ANBU headquarters_ that has so many privacy seals inked into it she shouted on top of her lungs and the proprietress didn't even hear a whisper of it. Then once she proved that no one would be able to overhear you two, you told her about some seal used on half your clan, that would kill you if you ever went against said clan, and about their plans for your kids; and then she basically told you that someone had to start protesting or it would never change. Is that right?"

Hiashi nodded sharply once.

The Nara heir groaned and slumped over the table, ignoring the tea at his elbow. Screw Natsumi's sanity, he was now worried for all three of them sitting here. "How has no one in your clan protested this seal before?"

"The branch house members dislike the seal, but with the control the main house has over it no one has dared to raise any concern." Hizashi didn't even had the grace to sound regretful over the impending doom the tactical genius could now feel coming over them.

"Perfect." Knocking his forehead against the rather nice table they were seated at, Shikaku wondered if there was a mini-Inoichi hidden away in his clan somewhere. The help in declaring them all insane would be appreciated right about now.

In his personal opinion, the Hyūga clan was full of control freaks.

Even ignoring the twisting in his guts over the idea that one disgruntled clan elder could kill one half of the Hyūga twins easily, this problem was so full of holes he would of avoided the hell out of it if he could.

He couldn't though. Natsumi was a bit of a blunt object when those she cared for were threatened, you just had to look at the damage she had done when some Kumo nin just threatened Kushina and Minato to see the greater degree shown, and killing off every clan elder that might harm a friend of hers was something the genius could easily see her doing even if he couldn't see a way she would survive it.

He didn't know if the ex-ANBU assassin had been planning to pull him into this mess before Jiraiya had sent her off for a month and a half long training run, but he was here now and there had to be a way to sneak a solution through before anyone thought to argue about it or Natsumi, who was a good soldier but a _young_ kunoichi assassin, did some lethal premeditated homicide against one of the founding clans of Konohagakure.

On one side of the problem, Shikaku could admit the Cursed Seal of the Caged Bird had its uses. Anyone looking to gain a Hyūgas' byakugan eyes would fail if they targeted a branch member because the seal rendered them useless upon death of the original owner of the eyes. Another side of the problem was blatantly obvious. _It could harm or kill on the whim of the main house members._

…maybe all the Hyūgas needed a new seal. One the main house wouldn't see as much different and one that wouldn't threaten the branch house.

For that, they needed an Uzumaki fūinjutsu user let in on this issue.

"How against are the two of you to the possibility of Kushina-chan being involved in this?"

\V/

Jiraiya had noticed the ex-ANBU assassin slowing down bit by bit as the terrain changed. There was still miles to go before they hit the desert, but the trees had fallen away about an hour ago and the grass and underbrush was now scrub land and barren rock so it might have to do with her little phobia of sand. He blew out a sigh and fell back a little ways, waving the two blond boys on when they hesitated and settling into a stride that would keep him with the girl-woman.

Natsumi had a distracted frown on her face, and didn't look like she was dreading the desert. That was his third clue.

"What is it?"

"We're being followed, sensei."

He had already figured that out himself, but it was always nice to get independent confirmation. "How do you know?"

"We're caught in a genjutsu. We passed this place three hours ago and we should have seen the start of the desert by now if your map is right."

Rubbing his eyes like a tired sensei she as the curious student had just asked something of that he needed to explain in detail, he let a little senjutsu spread out and caught the origin shinobi of the genjutsu he could now feel teasing the very outer edge of his normal senses.

Kirigakure shinobi, probably. They had the best special ops branch out of all the villages, and this didn't have the feel of anything less than jōnin woven casting. Jiraiya would have said senior ANBU level skill if they were Konoha.

It was really good, though, like his female student had said the genjutsu user had used an actual place to base the illusion off of and there was very little wrong that hinted at a genjutsu. "Take the boys to the target. You do know where that is, right?"

"Theoretically."

"Good enough. I'll catch up."

"Yes, sensei."

Kami bless ANBU threat protocols. No known names, no hard answers, give nothing away to the enemy they can't get themselves.

It was a lot easier to deal with than an actual genin's questions before combat.

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi sped up a little to draw even with her teammates. "Don't look around, and don't question me yet. Sensei is going to break the genjutsu and we are to run to the target until he catches up with us."

Minato clapped a hand over Inoichi's mouth before he could ask anything, feeling a familiar ice start to climb up his spine. The last time he heard that tone of voice from his sempai had been when Kushina was kidnapped and Natsumi was in ANBU, and had to mean they were in as much danger right now.

Something tickled his developing chakra senses, signals or the genjutsu she spoke of flexing just beyond his sense's reach, before the girl-woman took off like a shot and he followed, pulling Inoichi along with them.

Reality snapped back into place with a lurch and he followed his sempai up a dune of sand that hadn't been there before as sensei turned and took on one of the shinobi trying to sneak up on him.

Natsumi twisted suddenly to evade the kunai held in a kunoichi's hand, gripping her bokken with both hands and bringing it down on the woman's arm with a sickening crack. The figure screamed, clutching a badly broken arm and staggering back a few steps as the three of them dashed off and left her behind to be dealt with by the sannin. Minato may or may not have tossed an exploding tag at her as he passed on by.

It took two hours before Jiraiya-sensei caught up with them, grimly satisfied. "Nice work, Natsumi-chan!"

His sempai whirled around and planted herself in the way, neither letting the tired blonds at their teacher nor the teacher to advance to them. "What's my mask's animal?"

Jiraiya looked confused, and Natsumi snapped out a quick hand sign before replacing her hands on the hilt of her wooden sword. "You're not sensei."

"I call you neko-chan because your mask is Panther." Another Toad Sage punched the first before he could say anything else, and the henge dispelled with a small pop.

As the unknown shinobi slumped to the ground, Minato looked between the two of them and the third shinobi face down on the sand. Damn, he hadn't thought of that.

"Just checking, sensei." The ex-ANBU chirped, sliding the bokken back between her travel pack and her back. "Well, that was fun."

Jiraiya shook his head as he crouched down to check the ninja he had punched out. "That really is a nasty jutsu, Natsumi-chan."

"He was only focused on us, letting you have enough lee way to catch up without tipping him off was easy."

The white haired man grunted, stripping the shinobi of any and all tools before tying him up with his own razor wire. If he tried to struggle, he'd probably slice a few things off he'd rather keep attached. "We'll leave them here for Suna's desert patrols. Not sure how Kiri is going to try and explain this, but I wouldn't be surprised if there are no mist genin in the exams."

"Less fun for us maybe, sensei, but less humiliating for them."

Inoichi, a little annoyed by how slow he had been to catch on to the danger sneaking up on them, slung an arm around Natsumi's shoulder and gestured around. "Look at the bright side. Wind Country is here and no panic attacks in sight."

The former assassin with mismatched eyes looked around at the dunes around them and rapidly paled.

\V/

Kushina stared at Hizashi's bared forehead. "That's foul."

Shikaku, lying face down on a picnic bench situated on top of the Hokage's monument, snorted at _that_ massive understatement. "That isn't the worst of it."

The Uzumaki made a face. The curse seal she was currently inspecting was pretty bad already. "I'm not sure I want to know."

"We need you to make up something that will keep a Hyūgas' eyes secured in case of death, but lose the controlling aspects of the seal."

Kushina opened her mouth, intending to bite out something scathing about demanding fūinjutsu from her, but shut it without saying a word. She was still staring at the cursed seal, working out all the twist and turns in it. "Um… yeah. I see something I can work with."

If it was for Hizashi-kun and any family he wanted to have, she could work with something like this even if it made her skin crawl. The whole premise behind the cursed seal was absolutely horrific, and since they really were only asking from her for another way for it to work without the pain and death she could see in this one, she would at least try.

"How long, Kushina-san?"

The kunoichi gave Hiashi a distracted look. "Maybe a few weeks? I'll have to test it too you know, and I have no idea how to do that."

"Of course."

The Nara heir sighed and pushed himself upright. "If Kushina-chan's working on the seal now, we need to work out how to sneak it in without alerting or alarming your clan elders when she's done. There really are only two others I can think of who deal with that kind of clan politics on the level we're going to need, and I need to know if either of you object to the Uchihas knowing."

Why the hell was he doing all this, anyways?

\V/

"You have a _girl_ for a combat specialist?" The sneering face was shoved in Natsumi's, and the still pale girl-woman raised one eyebrow at the teen glaring at her. "How _pathetic_."

Minato looked between the Kumo genin and his sempai, wondering just how long she would tolerate the attitude before smashing his face in with the bokken slung onto her back.

The team was currently waiting on the start of the first part of the chūnin exams, some test based around intelligence gathering when being watched. They had just been told that each team started with ten points and you needed at least fifteen to pass, one point was rewarded for each of the ten random riddles you could attempt to answer. Each team also started with three boxes, which each held one clue to a riddle. Attacking another team or individual was grounds of dismissal of your team. If any proctor caught a team with more than three boxes, or with a box clue issued to another team, your team was docked two points. The whole exam would only take one hour.

The Yamanaka clan heir on their team was already plotting out how to get them pass this test and on to the practical survival portion, after snickering to himself for the first five minutes while the protectors set out boxes at numbered stations.

This Kumo genin was getting in Natsumi's face about her gender and any physical fighting before any part of the exam was firmly against the rules, not to mention Minato wasn't sure if his sempai would ignore the obvious bait or respond violently.

The ex-ANBU assassin had _not_ been happy after Inoichi pointed out their location in the desert after the incident with Kiri shinobi, her steadily worsening temper was obvious to them if not to anyone else outside their team and the lack of sleep was finally getting to her. She _had_ made it to Suna without snapping at them, even if Jiraiya had pointed her to a training grounds open to foreign genin for the duration of the chūnin exams as soon as they registered at the village gates.

She was adapting, Inoichi cautiously told his fellow Konoha genin, but she would probably have a bit of a hair trigger while in Suna.

His sempai finally _smiled_ , and Minato hid a shudder under an impassive expression. It was the same one she had when sensei had told them _any and all means._

"Threatened?" She purred as narrowed mismatched ghost eyes, which were no longer strange looking to Konoha shinobi but now probably creeping out the Kumo genin, all but gleamed with sadistic glee at his paling complexion. "Do you know what I can do with just a bokken in my hands? I can rupture your organs, break bones, and cave in your _tiny little brain_. Why not try surviving and not pissing off the predators in the room, little _sparrow_."

Minato had the feeling that the Kumo genin teams this idiot was grouped with wasn't going to make it to the second part of the exam. Sempai was going to make _sure_ of it.

Honestly? Minato hadn't forgotten what they had nearly done to Kushina-chan, and he was all for the assassin making their lives hell for a little while.

\V/

Fugaku and Mikoto stared at Hiashi and Hizashi. Shikaku sighed and let his head hit the table they were crowded around.

It was a good thing Natsumi had shown Hizashi this particular tea house before she left Konoha long before her team, or there would be a lot of uncomfortable rumors going around.

Additionally, as happy as he was to learn the Uchiha clan didn't have the same internal problems the Hyūgas did this was getting beyond troublesome to deal with if you took into account the fūinjutsu angle and now the political one that needed to be solved.

"That's… um, right. Okay."

The Uchiha girl did a little blinking herself, swallowing uneasily while tightening her grip on her clan heir's arm as she digested the problem posed to them by the twins and the Nara heir.

"Why… why not simply suggest it as a response to some threat you've identified, not confronting it like an issue?" Mikoto slowly suggested after another shocked moment of staring. The Uchiha clan had been a little jealous of the Hyūga clan's lack of internal strife, but if this was how they did it she never wanted the same thing for her clan.

Fugaku rolled his betrothed's initial suggestion around his head before firmly nodding his agreement with her. He could work with that, just like he could deal with advising just these Hyūgas for the moment. This was a very steep problem the two of them were facing, and the twins were some of the better opponents to have when sparing, losing either one would see an impact on his own taijutsu development.

Yeah, he really didn't believe _that_ for a moment even if it was only in his own head, but there were some appearances to keep up with and the near hate-rivalry between their clans was one of them.

"Since there are more fūinjutsu users in this next generation of shinobi, it would be likely if one of them caught sight of the seal to work out how to use it. If you claim to have recognized that may happen with hostile ninja as well, allowing one to take advantage of the seal for their own use or finding a way to circumvent it, then approaching someone with the skills to solve the problem without letting them know of why would have been your next step regardless of your view of this older seal and it's uses."

"And instead of making a confrontation to push the seal through your clan laws, simply slide it through like a simple procedure change any new head of the clan would do when threats are identified. If you do not make it an issue of how the branch members are treated, why should they become concerned over a threat to their control?" Mikoto finished, her mind swiftly turning over what little she knew of the Hyūga clan elders and their views on the right way the world worked.

It was shaky, but there was promise in the idea. It would take some careful wording when presented, but unless some Hyūga elder was smarter than _Nara Shikaku_ then they might get a new seal through Hyūga clan law without protests being raised until way too late.

Shikaku raised his head just enough to see the twin's considering expressions. Thank _kami-sama_ for Uchiha clan politics.

The irony of that they were using the heir to a rival noble clan to solve the problems in another noble clan for its heir and brother was not lost on him, he just didn't care beyond fixing the issue so it would never rise up again.

\V/

"Hey, Inoichi-kun, sempai? Remember what Jiraiya-sensei said just before we left the village? I've got an idea on how to do that."

\V/

Kushina set three seal arrays before them on top of the Sandaime's stone hair spikes.

Shikaku looked sideways at one, still unable to see what worked with what to enable it to do what the Hyūgas wanted. There had been a reason he suggested the Uzumaki preteen's inclusion, after all.

"I _think_ one of these are what you're going to want to go with. They still need testing, I can't really tell you how well they will work without that done you know, but technically these are what you asked for. They're just worked in three separate sequences; identifying the death of the sealed, triggering the calcifying of the eyes, and burning out the sockets. Which, by the by, _eww_."

The Hyūga twins inspected each one in turn, though the Nara heir couldn't say what the two of them were really looking at since he was sure they had just as much fūinjutsu training as him. That is to say, none at all.

"How does one test a seal like this?" Hiashi tapped one of the seals, the largest of the three laid out for him.

All three seals were designed to destroy human eyes upon the death of the sealed individual through whatever means. Which had to mean three humans were going to have to be sealed and then die in order for them to know if they were going to work as needed and how long it took the seals to take effect. Creepy.

Kushina puffed out her cheeks, crossing her arms over her chest. "Normally? We'd submit these to the research division department that looks at fūinjutsu. They take care of testing seals like this and instantly lethal jutsus _only_ on war criminals and those convicted of high treason against the village. But that kind of thing hasn't been done in _years,_ you know, according to what honorable Mito-baa-sama told me before teaching me fūinjutsu. And before you ask, no I don't like any of you _that_ much to do it with the penalties doing that yourself carries."

Shikaku sighed yet again as the Hyūgas did their silent twin communication thing, wondering exactly how many ninjas did it take to change a shinobi clan. But still, he couldn't blame the Uzumaki preteen in refusing to try testing it out herself.

At least Orochimaru-sama would probably hear them out first before tossing them out the door.

\V/

Jiraiya was trying really hard not to snicker as he stood around with the other jōnin sensei in the waiting room Suna prepared just for this kind of occasion, watching the others from Iwa, Ame, and Kumo leave in a huff so the rest of them could get the information on the final part of the chūnin exams being held in a month.

Really he was.

For some odd reason, both of the Kumo genin teams presented for the chūnin exams had failed the first part of them. There was no sabotaged method identified, each member had failed as a team because they simply didn't get enough points to pass the intelligence portion.

That would have been embarrassing enough alone, but now four of the five Iwa genin teams that passed the first test and two out of three of Ame's seemed to have just finally shown up on the edge of Suna's Training Ground Twenty Three, appropriately known in Suna as the Dunes of Time, and had thereby disqualified themselves from the survival portion because they were all out of bounds and missing the deadline for the test by a good forty eight hours.

All the jōnins responsible for the genin teams effected by that were clamoring about sabotage, not simply plotting how to make their student's lives hell for embarrassing the hell out of their respective village.

The training grounds that the second part of the chūnin exams were taking place in and had a very specific method you had to travel by to either enter or leave. Kind of like Suna's version of Training Grounds Forty Four, also known as the Forest of Death in Konoha. It was the largest training grounds in Suna, patrolled normally by the elite of the shinobi available and used for jutsu experimentation when needed.

Each genin team was confused when questioned after being rescued, they had been chasing another examinee who had stolen their part of the test and they hadn't known they were getting that close to the edge of the training grounds nor that the time limit had passed them by two days ago. There were so many holes in that it was ridiculous, but all the testimony gathered collaborated on the major points.

Meaning the same team of chūnin hopefuls had to be the ones to ambush and completely disorient the competition before setting them up to be disqualified well after any possible attempt could be made to remain in the exam.

The Suna exam proctors couldn't find any evidence of tampering in either part of the exam besides the obvious one knocking out a good portion of the competition, which had been within the rules of the survival test. The jōnin sensei accompanying each team had demanded to see that for themselves and were forced to admit they couldn't find any themselves, despite looking over all of it with a fine toothed comb.

Not to say they weren't accusing Suna of underhanded tricks, but still.

The Toad Sage could _see_ Minato's cunning, Inoichi's influence, and Natsumi's little paws all over these series of unfortunate events. What other team had the resources and talents to confuse and disorient other genin teams like this and _get away with it_ under jōnin noses?

Officially, the Kumo teams had failed on their own merits and the rest of them had failed due to being unable to break a genjutsu, however well done, placed on them.

Unofficially, Jiraiya was sure the Sandaime Hokage was going to be pleased with his team when he arrived for the final part of the exam, and the Sandaime Kazekage was going to be less annoyed with whoever it was once he was told why when Hiruzen-sensei got to Suna.

He just wanted to know how his two blond gakis and the kunoichi of odd circumstances had kept the Kumo genin from passing.

\V/

Orochimaru's nearly nonexistent eyebrows rose up when Kushina presented her fūinjutsu seals to him after the Nara heir gave him a concise summery of what they were for. "So now you want them tested?"

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama. We need to know which will work best for the Hyūgas." The kunoichi nodded as she spoke, her anxiety obvious to them by how hard she was gripping the man's guest chairs in his office.

They had taken the three seals drawn to replace the Cursed Seal of the Cadged Bird to him as one of the lead researchers of R&D, the only one any of them really knew. Nara Shikaku was there as the Hyūga twin's proxy, they couldn't afford word getting back to their elders about this yet, and Uzumaki Kushina as the fūinjutsu user consulted for a new seal. They were all hoping the sannin would consent to testing them out without alerting the Hyūga clan elders about it, or would at least listen to why they wanted them before tossing them out.

The Snake Summoner traced the elegant lines the Uzumaki preteen had drawn with a finger. "I can do that, as long as I can keep the two you are not going to use. The fees for independent testing need to be covered, after all."

"Thank you, Orochimaru-sama." Shikaku's shoulder slumped in relief. He really hadn't counted on the sannin actually _agreeing_ to help them out. Maybe his time of running around like a Konoha messenger-nin was over?

Fugaku really had been the one to insist on asking but he couldn't do it himself because of the public opinion on relations between the two founding noble shinobi clans, and if it ever got out that the Uchiha heir had represented the Hyūga heir and brother in _anything_ both clans would demand to know why in various tones of pissed off. The tactical genius was pathetically grateful his clan didn't have the members to need internal politics.

"May I give you one word of advice before you leave? Hiruzen-sensei does deal with the Hyūga clan elders often, he may be able to help you sound out problems on that end before you try to sneak this in."

\V/

Sarutobi Hiruzen warmly smiled down on his student's team of genin. They had performed admirably so far, with knocking out a fair chunk of their competitors without leaving the evidence behind to implicate either Konohagakure or Sunagakure in sabotaging the other villages they had been at war with not too long ago and in reaching the third phase of the chūnin exams without major injuries.

He had to admit it really was expected of this team considering they _should_ have gotten a field promotion already like the rest of the small group of younger ninjas they belonged to, but the results were satisfying even if they were carried out by a little overqualified shinobi to begin with. There had been some nitpickers in the lower ranks who didn't know Mesuji Natsumi had been in ANBU before being placed on the Toad Sage's team, and so the team of supposed genin had to go through the motions to get their rightful ranks awarded them since _technically_ one of them didn't have the genin team experience needed.

There also were the signs that this team hadn't been content just to wait for the third phase to knock the rest of the competition out; Namikaze Minato's fingers were ink stained, Yamanaka Inoichi had the slightly too wide gaze that marked his clan's jutsu use, and Mesuji Natsumi had to bandage her fingers before this meeting with their village's kage.

There was also a unfortunate rumor the Hokage had heard on his way in to meet the two Konoha teams to attempt the Suna chūnin exams, one about the last Iwa genin team and a run in with Suna's version of ANBU.

Hiruzen exchanged the formal greetings between jōnin and kage with Jiraiya and Tokjin Karsu before heading to his meeting with the Kazekage. He figured he had better clear up some interesting facts before the other kage became paranoid.

He also had some curious news to give his student when they had the time.

(ooo000ooo)

" _They_ did _what?_ "

Jiraiya attempted to explain to Natsumi again what had occurred in Konoha while they had been gone from the village, but he had to stutter it out between gales of laughter that he suppressed when he had heard the news first from Sarutobi.

Apparently, after chatting to her and not too long after a fight with his own twin, Hizashi took the idea of getting help and talked to Shikaku, who asked Kushina and the Uchiha couple for more assistance. Then the Nara heir and the Uzumaki princess took that help to Orochimaru on Fugaku's insistence, and finally the sannin told them to take all of it to the Hokage himself for even more help.

The misplaced soldier had to admit the results of it all was a hell of a lot better than what she had been planning to do once she was back in Konoha, she really _had_ hoped neither twin were very attached to their clan elders, but it was still the Snake Summoner that her head tripped over first before trying to understand what had gone on.

What did Orochimaru gain from this to ensure his help?

From a few months of dealing with him she knew he was a quid pro quo kind of ninja, like most shinobi ended up being with trading their skills and knowledge before long. She might know the man himself was somewhat decent right now if you tilted your head to the side and squinted, but not in any twisted reality could Natsumi see him becoming a civil right activist or being concerned with the quality of life of a clan he had nothing to do with. He was more likely to simply watch to see how it would turn out, taking careful notes of who screwed up what.

On another matter entirely, why hadn't this all been done in the first place if the Caged Bird Seal was so easy to replace with another?

Well, she couldn't argue with results even if she was near panicking on the involvement of the Snake Summoner.

Hiashi had apparently snuck the new law of the Flight of the Phoenix Seal Kushina made into his clan laws already when he formally took command of the Hyūga clan two weeks ago on his fifteenth birthday, as per the prior agreement of the elders who had held the reins of the noble clan after the twin's father's death nearly ten years before. The switch was done and over with, Hizashi's concerns were now groundless in the seal aspect, and it was likely Neji would still be born since the betrothal contract he was in was going to be kept and held too.

Officially the story was that with fūinjutsu gaining popularity as a ninja art within Konohagakure, _Hiashi_ became concerned that someone outside the village might have enough knowledge of seal work to tamper with the old seal used by the Hyūga clan. He took his concern and gave them in a roundabout manner to Uzumaki Kushina, who had admitted to understanding how the 'pre-Konoha' clan seal worked after a few hours of study.

Seeing as someone in Konoha could possibly unravel the seal to support any suspicion of his that someone outside of the village being able to do the same, Hiashi then commissioned a seal similar but more complicated to work out from the only fūinjutsu user in Konoha at the time. When it was completed, he then took the problem and solution to his clan upon the confirmation of his position as clan head to show the elders he would be a good leader when complications arose in the future.

Unofficially, Hiashi had all but rewritten his clan's laws about seals and branch members because Hizashi had not wanted that kind of life for his future children.

Once someone of the main branch house found out the new seal didn't work like the old Cursed Seal of the Caged Bird shit was going to hit the fan, but it would be far too late to change it back without tempting the branch families into revolting now they couldn't be controlled with the threat of pain and death of their children. The story they would stick to then would be that Hiashi couldn't force the Uzumaki preteen into including that without raising suspicion so it had been left out.

That would be at least three or more years down the road, long enough to subtly change a few of the misconceptions held by the worst of the clan elders.

She still couldn't understand why this hadn't happened in the manga she had read. It had been such a complicated problem by the time Hinata and Neji had been full members of each side of their clan, hell Neji had it as one of the major hurdles of his life in accepting that not everything was fate even if his birth seemed that way, that Natsumi was almost completely sure it would take some bloodletting and tears before it was solved in any kind of final manner.

_What the hell had happened?_

Minato poked her in the side after another few moments of her not reacting in any way to the news. "Sempai? Are you alright?"

"I'm just shocked I didn't need to lop anyone's head off."

Inoichi shot her a look, half worried and half amused. "I hope your joking."

"Of course I'm joking. But seriously, I'm surprised it was so easy."

Jiraiya snorted as he pulled himself upright by the edge of one of the three beds in the room he was sharing with his male students while they were in Suna. "According to Hiruzen-sensei, it wasn't so easy. That Nara gaki had to run around Konoha like a headless chicken ensuring everything was getting done, because neither of the Hyūgas could be seen together alone with Kushina-chan or the Uchiha brats without someone getting suspicious of why."

Natsumi blew out a breath and finally started snickering like she wanted to at how neatly the wool had been pulled over the 'all seeing' eyes of the Hyūga clan elders. Even with unknown consequences she could almost feel bugging her, she had to admit it had been pretty awesome of their friends to pull together like that.

\V/

Minato had drawn the first match of the final tournament, against one of the remaining Ame genin. He was a little disappointed that the match had been nowhere near as interesting as sparring with any of the chūnin of the noble clans of Konoha he knew. Natsumi's first match had been similarly uninteresting, for _some_ 'unknown' reason the other Ame genin she drew to fight had ran himself into a wall and knocked himself out not three minutes into the bout.

Now watching Inoichi lead his opponent around by the nose, apparently one of the lesser trained Suna genin, he started to plan for his next match after the mandatory fifteen minute break.

It was going to be a lot harder, because he was up against his sempai at the start of the second round.

All the spars they had before would give him a working knowledge of how she fought, but with her new control over her chakra there would be parts of her fighting style he wouldn't know. Jiraiya-sensei had also kept them apart for the month between the second and third stage of the exams, telling each of them they would need some tricks up their sleeves if they faced each other in the end.

Despite knowing she could use the bokken she still had with her, he didn't know how much skill she had with it since she spent a month and a half under the shinobi she called taicho. He also knew seals probably wouldn't work without one hell of a distraction, she would probably identify them before he could use them without one. Straight up taijutsu wouldn't work either, she had done most of the work in helping him develop his style and usually kept the upper hand unless she gave him enough time to outlast her in extended bouts. Natsumi did have a bit of a weakness in ninjutsu, she hadn't had control over her stubborn chakra until just recently. The only problem with that was all the ninjutsu he knew she had watched him learn to use.

To top it off, she had also been ANBU, and had probably worked out some methods to avoiding jutsus she couldn't use when used against her. Then she also had an entire previous life of combat experience to draw from.

Was he going to go full out against his sempai and try for a win, or try to draw with her?

(ooo000ooo)

"Oh, ouch." Jiraiya of the Sannin commented from next to the Hokage.

"Is there something wrong, Jiraiya-sama?" The Kazekage asked politely from the Fire Shadow's other side.

"Naw, not really Kazekage-sama." The Toad Sage rubbed the underside of his jaw in a transparent attempt to hide his amusement. "It's just this next match has sempai verses kouhai."

"Mesuji-chan and Namikaze-kun?" Sarutobi scanned the lineup of matches posted and updated by a few Suna shinobi in the kage box. "Well, how interesting."

"Are you sure about that? Neither had a match that lasted very long before this." Hanzō the Salamander grumped from the other side of the box. He was in a foul mood since his village's poor showing in the exams and form having to respect the traditional non-hostility pact in effect for the chūnin selections. Not to mention one of the three upstart shinobi he had faced in the end of the Second War was sitting in the same room like he had the right to. He couldn't wait to get out of the desert and back to Amegakure.

Jiraiya suppressed his snicker, greatly enjoying the turn of fortune and station in his recent fame. Since a village was considered neutral territory when chūnin exams were held, _how else would a village keep good tabs on the rising skills of other villages' ninjas without losing a large amount of spies_ , any hostile act against the representatives of another village was seen as both an act of war against the rest of the great five shinobi nations and an estimate to civilian patrons of how loyal a nation was to anything like contracts and tradition.

Even with that behind him, Jiraiya wouldn't have been invited to the kage's box to see how his students would do as a simple jōnin sensei if one kage protested, it was only the fact he was a student of another kage and the title of _Densetsu_ _no Sannin_ the kage of Ame had unwittingly given his team that had prompted the invitation despite any protests raised.

If Hanzō attacked him, even the venerable Tsuchikage Ōnoki seated next to his disgruntled ally would be expected to help kill him.

"My team is a bit overqualified for chūnin exams, Hanzō-sama. But poor Natsumi-chan didn't have the time on the team necessary for a field promotion, so they all have to take the exams to get their rightful ranks."

It wasn't a claim of responsibility to the sabotage the other three villages had recently experienced, but it was close enough that all four kages there understood exactly what had gone on. Bored shinobi tasked to things that they felt were beneath them did worse than that all the time.

The Kazekage and Hokage smirked, the other two could only glower.

The only thought in the sannin's head as he turned to watch how this was going to play out, was that it was a good thing he had forbidden any kinjutsu from being used more than once in public bouts or someone would catch on to the rash of bad luck plaguing Kumo, Ame, and Iwa coming from his female student.

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi smirked at her poor little kouhai. He looked a bit torn about this.

Well, to be bluntly honest, she wasn't. She wanted to know _exactly_ how good Minato was. Seriously.

How often did you have the opportunity to match wits with a legend before he became that legend?

As the two of them waited out the Suna tokubetsu jōnin drone out the rules, Natsumi gripped the hilt of her bokken and slid her feet further apart. Minato apparently took his cue from that, because his trouble expression faded behind an impassive one and he shifted into the ready stance of Konohagakure no Sato's academy standard katas.

The two of them only hesitated a moment, just long enough for the tokubetsu jōnin to get out of the way, before Natsumi darted to her kouhai's right side and attempted to cave in his ribs for a quick technical knock-out.

Can't breathe, can't fight.

Minato bent backwards under that swing, slapping a shock tag to her hands gripping the wooden hilt as he did so; correctly guessing that if he set it on fire his sempai was going to do the same to him later. That forced the ex-ANBU assassin into giving up the bokken for the time being, the tag would eventually run out of power if she read it right, and the girl-woman let go far enough into the swing that it would only hit dirt near about where the Suna-nin proctor was.

The tag was ripped off her when she let go of the hilt, and she had to back flip out of the range of the blond's off hand uppercut to her jaw.

Minato took advantage of the space to fling out a double hand of shuriken, which Natsumi fouled with a few kunai of her own. She knew that slight of hand just as well as him, the Uchihas had a bad habit of relying on that hidden wire trick a lot to guide and bend katon jutsus. Her kouhai had just used his fūton chakra to sharpen them, so they cut a wide swath in the sand around her when they hit.

Intent on the wind boosted shuriken she missed the three senbon he also threw, and they hit in her right bicep.

Senbon were a funny kind of weapon used mainly by kunoichi. They didn't do much damage by themselves unless you had the kind of accuracy she did, but the effects of leaving them in was the point most ninja ignored since they weren't the slicing kind of weapon. Senbon were basically long shafts of metal that pinned things in place, and left in a major muscle they could tear one apart if they didn't slit skin first and you didn't stop using the limb.

Taking the few moments to rip them out cost her time her kouhai used to get in range and position himself. Off step, his taijutsu was a lot harder to counter than normal.

In a straight up taijutsu spar, the winner between them really was the one that could take advantage first.

Kicking out a foot to gain her some space, Natsumi darted back for her bokken. She had planned on using that as a prop for any taijutsu she couldn't last against and her stamina wasn't anywhere near the level her kouhai had.

Gripping the hilt, she only had a moment for her eyes to widen as the second seal placed under the first activated. Paralyzed, she could only move her jaw to speak. "Well… damn."

Minato hadn't escaped without a scratch, he was breathing hard and wiped off the blood drawn by one of her stray kunai. "Give?"

"Hell no, kouhai."

The thing she had learned about paralyzing tags was that they only bound the Yang side of a target's chakra in place. Which was normally good enough, a genin wouldn't have the experience working with separate Yin or Yang releases to work leverage within their chakra to escape one by withdrawing the Yang and pushing the Yin to the surface.

However… she wasn't a normal genin, and she didn't even have to work a Yang release to wiggle out of it.

When she released the hilt of her bokken, Minato's eyes were about the size of saucers. "Let's try that again, shall we?"

(ooo000ooo)

Shit, shit, _shit_ , he hadn't known that was _possible_ at their level.

When this was all over, he was sitting down his sempai and getting _how_ the hell she had done that trick out of her.

Right now he had to- _duck!_

Dodging the shin on collision course with his head, Minato placed both hands on the sandy ground and tried to sweep his sempai off her remaining foot. She just did that axle kick thing of hers of spinning around in midair and landed facing him in a crouch.

Ah… _fuck_.

He would slowly gain ground in their taijutsu exchange, he was both more healthy and bigger than she was, but his sempai wasn't a slouch on the tricky side. She had taken a moment to realize he used the senbon tricks she had taught him on her, but now that his second seal card had been played and brushed off Minato didn't know how else to pull a win against the ghost eyed assassin except for continuing to outlast her and somehow avoiding the ANBU tricks she knew to end the match in her favor.

"Suiton: _Mizuappa!_ "

Minato shaped basic fūton chakra blades around his arms to cut the water bullets without letting them impact full strength and break something he would need later. The force behind that jutsu would leave some bruises where the water sprayed when the suiton hit fūton, but it was better than a broken bones or even a concussion.

He guessed that answered the question if his sempai could now use ninjutsu, and why she had been taking frequent sips out of her canteen while they waited for this match to be called. Good thing she only had water as her element, there wasn't much of that in the desert and the duel eyed girl-woman probably couldn't put that much force behind another one if she could pull it off.

How did one outsmart an ANBU that found a way to use a basic but fully effective _suiton_ jutsu in the _desert_ and a way past his _best_ seal?

He dearly, almost desperately, wanted to do that outsmarting since it wasn't likely he could win now without some miracle. Because it would be like showing the assassin that her hard work on tutoring him was paying off. She hadn't chose any of the kunoichi that tried to copy her to take on and mentor, she had picked _him_. Aside any theory by sensei about asking being the reason she helped him, he still wanted to _prove_ to her that she had been right to pick him and not anyone else.

Wait a tick, why hadn't she gone back for her bokken and ripped the fūinjutsu paper off it? If she could _only_ break out of a paralyzing tag… maybe it would still affect her? Did she have the chakra to get out of one again after her jutsu or not?

He hid the act of grabbing another prepared sealing tag by throwing more shuriken at her, the one throwing weapon she didn't use. She claimed it was just too weird, even if Minato thought senbon were stranger.

Instead of simply fouling them up again with throwing weapons of her own, Natsumi gripped a kunai infused with her chakra to knock them out of her way as she closed in on him.

He caught her next left handed punch aimed at his jaw with the seal hidden in his hand.

(ooo000ooo)

"I'm proud of you. That was _brilliant_."

"I was lucky, sempai. I couldn't have planned that."

"Luck is just as much a part of a fight as skill, kouhai."

\V/

Jiraiya was beaming at them. Natsumi thought it was a little ridiculous of the man to be proud of _her_ since she really hadn't been his student for very long. It had only been half a year since she joined the team.

All three of them, and two of the other Konoha genin team, had made chūnin.

Minato looked almost like he had beaten sensei or Sarutobi-sama in a fight, because he was nearly in so much glee of his promotion that his attention was wandering easily into something occupying his head. Inoichi was just smirking, and the other two thirds of the team that came to Suna as well and were traveling back to Konoha with them were only a little less obvious of their pride in the promotion.

She had to admit she was a little proud of herself too, their Hokage himself had congratulated her in her hard work in chakra control paying off. He was impressed with her in being able to use a C-ranked suiton jutsu so easily in her last fight in the third stage, since he knew she couldn't at all nearly four months ago. How cool was _that?_

Natsumi hummed a little to herself and turned her attention to the sands passing them by as they walked back to Konoha.

It wasn't that it was easier to separate the death of her previous life to this desert that let her ignore the fact she was in a desert to begin with, it was that she admittedly had fun screwing up the chances of other villages for the promotions she and some of the other Suna and Konoha genin got. Well, besides the last Konoha genin.

He was all but pouting just because his match ups in the end hadn't been long enough for a good judgment of his skills before being knocked silly by her kouhai in the semifinals.

Inoichi had been sort of right in that associating something other than death with the desert had helped her out a lot.

Natsumi _knew_ she hadn't been much of a traveling companion on their way out to Suna, and right after they had gotten there she had another series of nightmares of how she had died before. Frustrated and exhausted, it wasn't until that Kumo genin had gotten in her face that she found an acceptable, for her, outlet for her ill humor.

Minato had probably noticed the lessening amount of frustration in her when she had caused both Kumo teams to fail with her kinjutsu, and had found another outlet during the second portion using the orders the Sandaime probably intended for the final tournament.

He had them disarm and delay all but one team out of Iwa and Ame, stripping them of their part of the third of the map they were supposed to be completing and distributing it out to any other Suna and Konoha genin they came across by the assassin's more dubious skill set. With Inoichi planting a different memory of the incident and a genjutsu set to lead them out after they woke, Minato had placed a timed sleep tag on each of them. Then they got the hell out of dodge before anyone could catch them doing it.

Natsumi had started laughing not too long after that, between being confirmed to pass the second test and telling sensei what had gone on during the testing.

She did have to wonder if that made her sadistic. Or a good ninja. Hey, _orders_.

Yeah, she was going to stick to that excuse. Orders.

\V/

A week after the newest promoted chūnin returned to Konoha, Natsumi was finally confronted with what she wanted to do now she had her promotion.

The ex-ANBU assassin was of the opinion it was vastly evil of her sensei to spring that on them during the next bi-monthly meeting. This time Senju Tsunade had hosted them all in her clan compound due to inclement weather, only minimally griping about hospital work keeping her busy while everyone else was off having fun without her, with catering supplied by the Akimichi clan because Chouza had been that happy everyone was finally home.

At the moment all attention was on her, everyone wanting to know if she was going back to the shadow ranks and disappearing again or staying chūnin out in the visible ranks with the rest of them.

Even Sarutobi Hiruzen didn't even blink when his student brought up returning to ANBU to his own student during the meeting, having realized that all of the chūnin gathered had already figured out the girl with mismatched eyes had been part of that division before, between disappearing from their academy days and her showing up again as one of the Toad Sage's students half a year later. There were even a few pithy glares being tossed Sakumo's way because he had been her captain while in ANBU, obviously when you considered what Natsumi called him in casual conversation, and not all from the younger generation sitting in a loose circle in Tsunade's sitting room. Orochimaru just rolled his eyes over the glaring blonde sannin's head at the last Hatake.

One of the hazards of having halfway decent shinobi around was their incessant curiosity over anything and everything under the sun, and absolutely everything not normally visible to the casual observer. It was incredibly difficult to keep any kind of secret out in the open when you trained individuals in ferreting them out in the name of ensuring village security. Especially if said secret was about the period of time a mutual friend was missing for.

Finding out some shinobi was either ANBU or a Hunter-nin wasn't officially punishable, because usually you found out trying to ensure ninja A was actually ninja A and not ninja B who was really an infiltrator from another village, but it was still a nasty shock if you were not expecting it.

It was also ridiculously easy to spot those that belonged to the shadow ranks of the shinobi corps if you knew how to do it. You just had to watch the way they moved and pick out those who had the same attention grabbing hair color or style, curious habits, short build, limp, or body scar as the ANBU agent whatever. You could also figure it out by noticing the silent conversations that go on between masked members and realizing you've seen that hand sign used before by such and such ninja the last time you ran a mission with them. Sometimes you found out by finding a rather stark black ANBU tattoo somewhere on their arms after a spar, training session, or patching injuries up on one.

They were also the ones that couldn't give the real reason for missing birthdays, holidays, or some planned event, claiming a mission you'd never hear about because saying _I'm really sorry I wasn't here but this one guy had to die because we were being paid a lot to do it for this fat, jealous, and corrupt merchant in Lightning Country_ wouldn't really go down well at all.

The only times being identified was punishable to an ANBU or Hunter-nin, though it was still highly discouraged to voluntarily reveal your actual line of work to anyone under chūnin rank and it was really bad to get identified by genin, was if someone _outside_ the village managed to put the right name to the animal mask.

Although it was accepted practice to generally ignore that part of their lives if you knew any ANBU or Hunter-nins when they were unmasked; retired from service, benched for medical or personal reasons, or simply off-duty at the time; there were some situations where discussing it was allowed or even encouraged. One, when you had some kind of problem or issue with established procedure and needed the advice of a older teacher; or two, when being asked if you wanted to continue in either branch of the black ops divisions by a superior.

"I _would_ like to be reinstated-"

" _NO!_ "

Natsumi blinked at the uproar that came out of not only her old genin team, but Kushina and a fair few of the clan shinobi gathered around. Trying to listen to most of it was giving her a headache.

Jiraiya silenced them all with a _look_ , surprising in itself because the sannin really was kind of a perverted jokester at heart and only occasionally got serious about anything. "Continue, Natsumi-chan."

"I would like to be reinstated as an available assassin if needed, but I want to complete my kenjutsu apprenticeship with taicho before I consider going back full time."

 _Like in two years when the Third Great Shinobi War starts, and after I try to save taicho's life_.

The Toad Sage nodded his shaggy white head, probably having expected that from her. "You know your taicho's not going back for a good while, right?"

"Yeah, he's got his new lady love now." Natsumi faked sniffing back tears. "He's leaving me for another woman, sensei!"

Sakumo, who had been sitting some ways behind her to place her between him and the glaring, all but choked on air. "How do you _know_ that? And _what the hell?_ "

Jiraiya threw a smirk at the silver haired man even as he scrambled out of Tsunade's reach. "Your problem now, old friend!"

The assassin smirked back at her spluttering taicho, who would always be her taicho. On the bench for the moment or not.

(ooo000ooo)

Minato set the last box of his things from his old genin apartment down in his new chūnin apartment harder than a box of inanimate objects deserved. Natsumi went out on a deductive twig and sighed. "He gave you enough to work through that you'll probably still be working on it when he gets back."

"Yeah, but… Jiraiya-sensei is still going to be more outside the village than in for the next few _years_ , sempai." Her blond kouhai sighed himself, slumping down onto the couch in the main room that the chūnin apartments had that the genin apartments didn't. "I was kinda expecting…"

"…it to be like how it was when I joined the team? A little less of me and Inoichi-kun, but all of us there in some way anyways?" The misplaced soldier stopped sorting the other chūnin's stuff out so he could put it away later, no real interest in sorting his clothing any more than she did usually when they switched doing mission generated laundry so someone didn't have to always do it. She sat down on Minato's _actual bed_ in what they were assuming was the bedroom and not the closet because of the little clue of the _bed_.

The best part of being promoted so far? _Definitely the raised bed_. Screw her reinstatement to the ANBU bench and the higher paying missions available, her nearly numb ass was loving the switch of traditional floor futons to supported western styled beds even when _not_ on missions and rooming in an inn for the night. Damn it all, even the _ANBU on-duty barracks_ had cot-bed thingy types of cushioning for the rear.

The apartments issued to independent chūnin were not much bigger than ones for genin without alternative means, but they had the same minimalist layout. There was a main room where Minato was, it contained a bit more of a kitchen and dining room with the living room the misplaced soldier was mostly sure it was used for. It could also possibly be a library/study thing… maybe. There was an _actual_ shower stall crowded in next to the toilet in the bathroom instead of the bucket powered shower/drain thing they had before.

The bedroom had a _bed_ in it, had that been mentioned yet?

"Well, yeah."

Her blond kouhai was not that far from her, cramped as the apartment was. From her to the blond the assassin would estimate about six or seven feet.

"Wanna screw off unpacking for the rest of the day and go do something more fun?"

Minato pushed himself up slightly to check how evil his sempai's grin was. "Go stalk your old taicho so you can laugh at him some more for dating some civilian lady?"

"…you suggested it, not me."


	4. Of Kenjutsu and Adaptation

_Human nature would hold whoever could kill the other had the right morals to enforce their view above others, end of story. Examples would be the Holy Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the World Wars, ect…_

_Modern society holds that debate and reasonable arguments will prove a set of morals right above another's… eventually. Subject to change on the whims of popular view when 'new' evidence brought to light._

… _I think we may be royally screwed._

* * *

Her taicho had knocked up his girlfriend when she had been gone from the village and taking the chūnin exams. Hatake Kakashi was a whoops baby.

Natsumi fell to her knees, clutching her aching ribs and trying to breathe between gales of laughter that _would not stop_. She dimly realized that was _exactly_ why her kenjutsu master had told her to put the bokken down before he told her his news.

Sakumo rolled his eyes at her.

"Yeah, yeah. Gaki. Laugh it up, I see now just how much you care for me." The silver haired shinobi rubbed his face as his apprentice tried to recover from that news being dropped on her. He wasn't really all that annoyed with either the young assassin or the situation, as the Hatake clan did have to be continued sometime, but it was still kind of embarrassing to be forced to admit to your student that you got your girlfriend pregnant and would be juggling a newborn while he taught her in half a year or so.

"Sorry, t-taicho. Reall-ly." The assassin gasped between giggles, peering up at him through watering eyes and unable to do anything with the smirk on her face that gave the lie of her apology away. "Just... I-I would've expected that-t from sensei, not y-you."

The only living member of the Hatake clan, for the moment, groaned in acute pain as he was reminded of his best friend and what he was likely to do with that information. He joined her on the ground as he let his knees give out and landed in a heap on the floor of his family dojo. "He's never going to let me live this down."

The civilian lady Sakumo was seeing was pretty nice, really. Sweet tempered and a girl-next-door kind of beauty, Yamamoto Eri worked in the marketplace near the clan compound district. That was how her old ANBU captain had met her. Natsumi had finally met her face to face not too long ago, after the older looking man had caught her out following them for a laugh. Eri had just laughed herself at the kunoichi after the relation between the two ninja had been cleared up and the reason for the stalking given, handing the misplaced former soldier an apple from the basket she had been holding her groceries in.

Natsumi had flat out ignored Minato's snickering later when she told him why she was bugging him so early that day and what had been up with the fruit.

Eri was awesome.

She was typical of a civilian of Konohagakure too, which is to say a bit more forthright than anyone that lived outside the village gates. Having no qualm in pointing out to the killer that lived down the road from them that they're tracking blood all over the place, would they please clean it up before anyone slipped?

The civilians of Konoha had the right to be that brash, they frequently dealt with people that could set fire to their homes with an exhale and pin a fly to a wall with a sharp piece of metal you wouldn't ever spot on one. They also married shinobi and into ninja clans, though that was rare in the noble clans, and had friends, husbands, and wives that were missing a good number of days out of the year. They ignored it if you entered your apartment or home in the dead of night and when the blood trail lead up to and into your open window; simply putting the keys, which only the civilians ever got around to using, you gave them so they could water your plants and care for your pets under the doormat so you could get it back later when you finally woke up.

A good thing shinobi only trapped the rooms they didn't normally keep weapons on them in unless they were beyond paranoid, just the bathroom and the bedroom were generally lethal if you tried to waltz straight into one.

The civilians of Konohagakure no Sato were treated better than the civilians in any of the other great shinobi nations, and they knew it.

An entire faction of one of the founding noble shinobi clans of the Leaf was tasked with keeping them safe from both outside threats and the ninja that walked the streets with them, so that fact of life was hard to deny. A lot better than Kumo, from what little she saw of it that one time her ANBU squad had a target in the hidden village itself.

It was also kind of hard not to get confidant when you knew the shinobi you were talking to in the first place. He would be that boy from the family across the street that used to play with you or your own children, or that girl who would always greet you nicely when on her way to the academy.

There also were the legions of D-rank missions that were done every day for them.

It was common for civilians to take a small amount of money and an issue they had or a request to the Genin Corps, which dealt with all D-ranked missions within the village if the missions were not needed by the jōnin sensei currently teaching new teams of jōnin candidates.

The Genin Corps, made up of all the ninjas who would probably never see combat missions or anything outside of Fire Country's boarders and had next to no jutsus above D to use themselves, were really what the civilians were used to dealing with. They made up about forty to sixty percent of the shinobi ranks of Konohagakure at any given time, ninjas that weren't expected to stay in the corps for any more than five to ten years before retiring to raise the next generation.

They were the messenger ninja you saw darting from roof to roof, the ones that cleared up the training fields so any stray weapons, traps, or sealing tags wouldn't kill someone, and the ones that continued to complete the D-ranks so the next group of jōnin candidate genin could take them when it was their turn.

D-rank missions were also the bane of all jōnin-sensei, because of the mind numbing, boring, and tedious work of keeping three preteen genin on task and not goofing off when given a mission to weed a garden or fetch some elder's groceries for them.

Those were the missions used to get new ninjas used to reaching for their chakra to ease more strength out of muscles or speed to their feet, to give them skills they might need on later missions to support themselves when undercover, to build teamwork when one genin was better at something than another. Those missions also ensured that the civilians wouldn't shy away from these new assassins and killers that could destroy a good portion of the village on a whim, since civilians had known said murderers when they had been young enough not to have all that blood on their hands.

Bingo books weren't just for shinobi, after all. Civilians had to know who to avoid the hell out of when outside the walls too… and whose name they could try to use to scare off bandits.

It was social behavioral control at its finest. The civilians that saw you grow up and you spoke to everyday _expected_ you to act like a proper human being regardless of what you did outside the walls, so the shinobi _tried_ to act like proper human beings when inside the great wall that shielded the village. There always would be those few that couldn't, Maito Gai was one name that came to her mind, but it would usually be excused because they came off to civilians like any batty eccentric would.

Nutty but still nice, at least to their comrades in arms and inside the village.

Natsumi breathed deeply a few times, trying to get that sore feeling of laughing too hard out of her ribs. Since they were cracked anyways from their last training session, she probably shouldn't have let herself laugh so much. Tsunade was going to throw a fit at her the next time she saw the Slug Princess. "Propose? There really isn't much else I can think of."

"I guessed that myself, _thanks._ "

"You'll be a great father, taicho. I'll help you and Eri-san out too." The assassin sat up and patted the man on the knee. "So long as you don't try to emulate sensei anymore, I think your kid's going to turn out fine."

" _Hey!_ " Sakumo glared at the cheerful ghost eyed ANBU agent, finally huffing and gesturing for her to get up. "If you're done having a laugh at my expense, let's get to work."

Natsumi grinned at him and darted to where she had set down her bokken.

\V/

"Why do you always grab me to shop with?"

"Cause you hate it just as much as I do. I'm sharing the misery, Shikaku-kun." Natsumi winked back at him, smirking at the flat look the Nara heir was aiming at the back of her head. "Besides, you're a better judge of quality, and this way your kaa-san stops asking you to do chores for her so we don't have to listen to you gripe about it later."

The shadow master slouched even further, and the assassin was sure he would be glowering if he cared any less for what they were doing. "Why not just do as Fugaku-san does? Send a gift of whatever throwing weapons a person favors."

She rolled her mismatched eyes as she tugged him down another street. "Because Fugaku-sama has no imagination. It's Minato-kun's _birthday_ , not the anniversary of his last _promotion_."

Shikaku finally cracked a lazy smirk. "Insulting and helpful, I like it."

"Of course you do. Two birds, meet one stone." Natsumi sniffed haughty as she stopped to check a window display. "I'm highly tempted to let Mikoto-chan _borrow_ my bladed hair sticks for her wedding just so she can stab him when he's being too uptight Uchiha on her. Especially if the two of them are going to force the rest of us into attending a formal wedding with some of the biggest snobs in the village."

The dark haired and tanned teen standing next to her as she scoped out store windows cocked his head to the side curiously. "Borrow?" The assassin had stressed that one word strangely, almost in a sing song kind of tone.

"Yeah. You know; something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue?"

"Can't say I've ever heard it before." Shikaku frowned, looking off in the distance and probably trying to place that quote in his head.

"Huh, and here I thought that ancient tradition would never die." Natsumi tapped her fingers against the glass she was looking though. "How about that?"

"A well-crafted piece of work." The Nara heir remarked as he peered through to where she was pointing. "Saa, I thought you said gifting weapons had no imagination behind it."

"Standard weapons, no matter the quality, yes. We go through them like water." The assassin opened the door, wrinkling her nose at the tang of hot iron that gusted out of the blacksmithing store. "Unique weapons, though, those tend to be kept carefully stored away or used only when in emergency. Because non-standard weapons in a fight usually means jutsu aided or with some kind of effect you have to be insanely careful around."

Standard weapons were also issued per month, out of the replacement funds the village took out of every ninja's pay. It kept the traffic down in the blacksmith shops for others that would need the services of a blacksmith, otherwise there would eventually be one hell of a waiting list to get kunai, senbon, or shuriken in large enough quantity to not care if you lost two or three every time you sparred with another or lost entire braces of them on mission.

Every time you or your team brought in an enemy shinobi or nuke-nin you also got a bonus per pound of steel they had on them, because that ninja's weapons were sent to specific shops to be melted down and reused in the Konoha standard molds. There also was a standing D-rank mission posted every week to collect lost weapons in the training fields, and Natsumi could recall Jiraiya getting that one for the team more than once.

Besides, those were some _very_ familiar three pronged kunai.

"Kushina-chan would be proud. Pranking enemy ninjas."

Natsumi threw him a smirk over her shoulder. "What can I say? I'm multitalented. Think I should get him some new brushes, or would that be infringing Kushina-hime's prerogatives?"

Hey, maybe her kouhai would get a hint for his hiraishin sooner.

"She's getting him some better quality ink and more blank scrolls." Shikaku gave her an unamused look as he followed her into the store. "And yes, I know you all are really using me to keep track of who's getting who what. I demand a bribe if I'm going to keep doing this."

"We could _also_ sit there and poke you with a stick when you try to take a nap."

"…you're _mean_ , Natsumi-chan."

\V/

Sometimes, Natsumi really hated the mission office ninjas.

The only way out of the Genin Corps without picking up some major skills in a specialization and finding a sensei to teach you more was a promotion, and only about a third of the ninja that were sent to the Corps ever made chūnin.

The Chūnin Corps were the shinobi version of nine-to-five workers of Konoha. They ran the sensitive information to one ninja or another; filing away Intelligence and jutsu knowledge in respective libraries; looked over the missions contracted to the village and tasked other shinobi to complete them; processed the unholy legion of paperwork that grew every day; filled in the ranks between the jōnin candidates that hit the same rank as them; and eventually retired and did the same thing as a civilian except for the whole 'prior shinobi experience' and filling in the battle ready ranks of ninjas available.

The newer Chūnin Corps members were pretty nice, excited by the rank most had thought they would never see.

The older ones that were or nearly were retired were _assholes_.

It was almost like they _knew_ when a ninja of the jōnin-track had plans and conspired to make them or someone else you wanted there miss whatever was going on. Like how she was going to end up missing her kouhai's birthday if this took as long as they said it would.

She pinned the poor messenger-nin with a glare over the top of the scroll. "This couldn't wait _two days?_ "

The career genin rapidly paled. He might be older than her by at least two years or so and taller, but she was a rank above him that he wasn't imagining he'd see. "Sorry, ma'am."

Natsumi blinked, not expecting his answer to the question because it had been mostly rhetorical and slightly hostile. She had though he would run after giving her the missive, Minato and Inoichi had repeatedly claimed she wasn't pleasant in the morning when woken up before she wanted to be.

"Whatever, scram." She blearily checked the just rising sun for a moment and then slammed her apartment door in his face.

Swiftly yanking off the worn shirt she had stolen from Inoichi when they were still genin and his laundry had ended up in her pack for whatever reason, she started to make a list of what she had less than two hours to do it all in as she started the shower.

Time for shinobi was a strange thing. Only Intelligence, R&D, and medical specializing ninja actually used timestamps; for patrols around Konoha, shift changes, experimentation notes, and patient medication records.

That was it.

The rest of the shinobi world used the sky. You had until high noon for a spar, get to this location before sunset on that day ended, the target needs to die before the moon rose, be home before the sun rose again.

The only reason that was the way it was, was because the tick of any clock would betray a shinobi's presence to those with sharp enough ears since there _were_ ninjas around that could pinpoint an enemy by their _breathing_. That on-mission sensitivity was hard to come down from and also made it hard for most shinobi to deal with the incessant tick of clockwork near them, so they never usually used them when off-duty or at home either unless they were genin or they lived with civilians. Some shinobi got good enough to judge the hour by how high or low the sun was, and some even got to half hour increments, or by their scarily accurate body clocks.

Those skills usually only developed around the time a lifelong ninja got around the sannin's age of mid twenty, and by then you'd never remember to put that in your report.

The digital timepieces of her last life wouldn't have been a problem, but nothing around her said any kind of technological development was heading in that direction anytime soon.

It was probably how Kakashi got away with being chronically late after the Yondaime's death. The memorial stone was in a forested part of Training Grounds Three, and anyone asking him to be somewhere when the sun rose wouldn't have a good way to argue _when_ the sun actually rose with the forever tardy Hatake without sounding like an insensitive dick over the Fourth's death.

If the worst happened, she was going to lobby for a clock to be put in the memorial stone.

Natsumi sighed heavily and assembled a quick mission pack after wrapping herself in a towel, taking the pre-packed rations she had stored in her fridge and throwing that into the backpack she always had ready for a trip outside the village. It held a few changes of clothes, her sleeping roll sealed courtesy of Kushina, replacement weapons if needed, and the other odds and ends she had found useful in other missions in ANBU already, it was only in need of perishable supplies and her ANBU kit, because that was in a sealing scroll sealed into her closet door since ANBU technically didn't exist.

The whole business of being sent a missive by messenger nin about a mission was a little worrying to her, because she wasn't on a cell and notices from the mission office were _not_ given to her but to Sakumo if she was requested for her shinobi specialties or as a kunoichi to run a mission.

After genin rank of the jōnin-track, you were sorted into one of two categories for chūnin.

Either you were assigned a general use cell with a leading tokubetsu or full jōnin, or unassigned for further training. Natsumi, Minato, Kushina, Fugaku, and Hiashi were all unassigned chūnin. She and her kouhai for their apprenticeships for kenjutsu and fūinjutsu respectively, the only Uzumaki in the village because of the nine-tails, the Hyūga clan head because he _was_ a clan head, and the Uchiha heir because of his work with the Military Police. Then there were the cells, of which only Chouza, Shikaku, and Inoichi were on the same one while Mikoto and Hizashi were on separate teams.

Missions were also taken in one of two ways when you were a chūnin. Either your team leader decided the cell you were assigned needed a new mission or the mission office needed you to take such and such mission with shinobi A and B and or C because you all had the specialty mix to complete it as requested, but those last ones were funneled through unassigned ninja's masters if available or the leader of your cell for scheduling around training and injuries.

It was also the only way a chūnin of the Chūnin Corps could get another promotion, to impress a jōnin that led the mission and get a recommendation for a partial rank advancement.

A shinobi wouldn't be able to pick a few of their own missions until B-rank, or tokubetsu jōnin. That rank was when permanent pre-structured cell formations were normally dissolved, unless you were tasked with a team of chūnin to lead for the experience, and either new teams were made up specifically for a mission or you and how many other ninjas picked up a mission out of the mission office's list of available jobs that needed completion.

A-rank shinobi, full jōnin, were a league all of their own and were allowed to pick and choose their own missions that called for their specialties, both for themselves and whatever team they were asked to lead, unless requested by name by a client.

ANBU was another matter entirely, but they had their own mission office and the missive didn't have that black stamp on the bottom for a needed assassination mission.

Why the hell had an unassigned kunoichi with an available master to handle mission requests just been summoned to the mission office when the sun hit the base of the Hokage Monument?

(ooo000ooo)

As the first one there, the ANBU assassin checked around the meeting place and picked a spot so she could see who she was going on this mission with.

She hadn't yet had the opportunity to take a mission with other chūnin she didn't know, as Sakumo would only be letting her do the D to C-ranked assassinations needed by ANBU if they came up for the time being. Perched in a branch as she was, Natsumi was only mildly surprised when the male Aburame chūnin nodded to her when his bugs pinpointed her in the tree.

Never having the same problem other kunoichis she grew up with, as long as they had less than eight legs she was fine with the insects, the assassin leapt out of her perch and landed lightly next to him. "Know who else we're waiting on?"

"I do not know who all was assigned to the mission. Why? I was not the one picked to lead on this mission."

The ghost eyed kunoichi straightened up with a nod to show she understood. "I was, though I was told you've run missions with our last member. Mesuji Natsumi, nice to meet you."

The bug user considered her a moment behind thick, dark glasses. "…Aburame Shibi."

Oh. "The heir to your clan?"

A nod was her only answer. Having dealt with both Hyūga twins and Uchihas when they were not feeling very talkative, Natsumi just nodded back and kept quiet.

The crashing sounds of someone running through the underbrush started coming their way, and the assassin had to wonder if whoever that was making Shibi subtly cringe was the last member of their temporary team.

An Inuzuka… if the wild hair, red triangles on the cheeks, and the large dog following her were any clue. "Well, at least I ain't gonna have to wait on your asses. Let's go. Tsume the name, girl."

Wait… ah, fuck.

Didn't Shibi and Tsume dislike each other until the bug user saved either the dog or the other teenager from death?

Natsumi just knew this mission was going to give her a headache, and maybe some more cracked ribs.

Damn it, her last set had _just_ healed up under Tsunade's hands three days ago.

\V/

"It's not my fault sempai is out of the village." Minato gave Fugaku the look he considered that comment to deserve. "She had a mission. I'm just the one telling you."

"Lay off, Fugaku-san." Kushina aimed her brush at the Uchiha heir's head, warning him that she had no problem getting ink all over his face if he didn't stop. "Some of us only have so long free, so stop complaining if someone who is on mission anyways isn't here."

Fugaku huffed at them. "Our research will not be able to continue _without_ Natsumi-san."

"Then complain to the mission office." Hizashi offered levelly, ignoring the glare aimed his way from the older teen. "But we should return to the main reason we are here before nii-sama needs me to leave and return to the clan compound."

"Yep! Minato-kun's birthday!" The red head abandoned her work and stole one of Natsumi's favorite way of flustering one of the males, all but laying down on the flushing blond's lap. "Aren't you excited?"

"I don't need a birthday party, Kushina-chan." Her fellow fūinjutsu user claimed, warily eyeing the teen encroaching into his personal space. Natsumi did it to him enough, he didn't need Kushina picking up that habit too.

Chouza froze with one hand in his bag of chips. "Why not?"

"But it has been a while since all of us had the time to meet up at the same place, other than the now monthly meetings we have at Biwako-sama's or Tsunade-sama's compounds." Mikoto countered quickly before the orphan could give a reason they would have to respect, smirking at his annoyed look. "If Natsumi-chan can make it back, it would be even better."

"Besides, remember how pissed she was when we let you claim that last year and she found out?" All but laughing at his fellow blond's predicament, Inoichi turned his grin at the rest of them. "Minato was all but pouting the whole week she wouldn't talk to him."

Minato finally turned fully red, glaring at the mind walker. "She wasn't all that happy with you, either. And I can distinctly recall some cringing on your end."

"So the moral of the story is we're having a party whether you like it or not." Shikaku interrupted before the sniping could get worse. "Natsumi-chan gave me her presents for you before she skipped out for her mission, and I don't feel like annoying her the way you two idiots did. She's bad enough when she's cheerful."

Both blonds blinked at the Nara heir, and Minato started frowning. "Wait. If you knew sempai wasn't here, why did you let me tell Fugaku-san when you got here first?"

"Cause I don't feel like being glared at either. Still don't, so stop it."

\V/

This was… hmm, _awkward_.

The main part of their mission was done and it had only been a day since they set out, but… her two fellow shinobi were still setting the other off.

Natsumi looked between the Inuzuka teen and the Aburame, wondering what kami she had pissed off lately. Shibi, being a naturally quiet kind of guy as well as a seemingly impassive shinobi, was rubbing Tsume's, a very loud kunoichi with less than tolerant patience for standing on ceremony and for what she saw as useless, fur the wrong way by simply staring at her.

At least the assassin was kinda sort of sure he was staring. The sunglasses made it hard to tell.

They also really did know each other for a long while now, if the way Tsume was barking at him was any measure.

There was this pounding sensation throbbing behind her left eye, and Natsumi was starting to get fed up with all of this. Maybe she had been a little spoiled by going ANBU straight out of the academy and by being snatched by the Toad Sage as soon as the war ended, but she hadn't had to deal with two opposite personalities clashing while on mission before. There was no personality in ANBU, they sometimes didn't really even seem like _humans_ behind the painted masks, and she already got along well with her own kouhai and his fellow blond.

"Look, I think we all know there's some kind of unresolved sexual tension going on between the two of you. But stow it, we're on _mission_ right now _._ "

Tsume's jaw hung open for a moment, mid-insult.

After a small start of shock on his end, Shibi turned that blank visage of his to her.

Natsumi glared at the both of them, Kuromaru panting doggy laughter as he sat next to her. "For fucks sake, you're acting worse than academy students. Yes, even you Shibi-san. So now if the two of you are done with the pissing match over who killed what bandit, I've got a birthday party that had better be happening to crash."

That verbal smack to the face done, the assassin grabbed her pack and tantō and leapt up into the trees, hightailing it back the way they came.

Screw the few days of observation, she knew exactly what was wrong.

\V/

"It's not a clan thing of hating another tracker on principle, Hokage-sama. It's a bit of an extreme personality clash."

"Thank you, Natsumi-chan, for going along with this." Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Tell me what you saw."

The assassin hummed and nodded, bouncing a little on her feet as she assembled the information she had in her head. There really hadn't been a way to say no to the order, but it was nice of the Sandaime to say that.

The mission hadn't been _her_ mission but an analysis of how two C-ranked ninjas being considered for promotion got along during _their_ mission.

Anyone being assigned a Yamanaka clan member for a quick mission were usually suspicious of being reviewed for mental health reasons unless said Yamanaka was needed to screw over a target's or witnesses' heads. Inoichi had told the Hokage that sometime during their meetings his wife still hosted for them every month even with Jiraiya out of the village, and suggested her to the older ninja in case of irritable or touchy shinobi who wouldn't ignore any doubts cast on their methods by the presence of one.

The assassin had been the one to give him a number of psychology tips from her past life, and knew how to do field assessments on soldiers already. Natsumi wasn't really sure why the Yamanaka clan heir had done it, but it resulted in her 'emergency' mission two days before her kouhai's birthday when someone got fed up with listening to Tsume try and find Shibi's breaking point.

Damn sneaky blonds. Damn sneaky kage too, for that matter. Using the meetings between younger shinobi as a way to sound out alternative means for troubleshooting the issues between your shinobi.

Tsk, tsk.

"Inuzuka Tsume is brash as most of her clan is, respecting only quality skills and forceful personalities. Aburame Shibi is a naturally quiet shinobi, and like the rest of _his_ clan is either unwilling or uncaring about establishing dominance with someone he _knows_ is a comrade, and ninja enough to like confusing her to hell and back in the meantime. Tsume-san keeps challenging Shibi-san as per her clan's normal habits of placing new people in the pack hierarchy, but he's not responding like she's expecting so she keeps doing it over again when he shows good shinobi traits she likes to see in the village's pack. The only reason she's getting irritated is because they're stuck like that. But since Kuromaru isn't against Shibi-san's presence, I can safely guess Tsume-san is only frustrated at herself for knowing there's a problem but not realizing what it is or how to fix it."

Inuzukas were interesting from a psychology standpoint. You didn't just deal with one Inuzuka, you dealt with an Inuzuka and however many littermates they had.

Each member of the clan, regardless if they turned out to be ninja or not later on, were raised with either a canine companion or companions whelped from one of the parents' ninken and the kennel dogs a few years after their own birth, as few as one and as many as five in a litter. Those dogs were seen as shinobi in their own rights within the clan and sometimes without as well; able to start training to fight alongside their human between the age of four and six as well as use their own chakra to speak to humans once they reached adult size at about ten to fifteen years of age. The ninken of the Inuzuka clan could live up to a grand total anywhere near thirty-five to forty-five years before succumbing to old age, about as long as a ninja could realistically work for before being retired from active duty, and would never be replaced if killed in battle or they died of natural causes.

Inuzukas lived and worked so close to their dogs that they unconsciously adopted traits from their chakra using ninken to the point they seemed even more canine-like, in the pack-like way of viewing everyone, being able to understand the younger dogs unable to speak the human language aloud, and the mentality of defending the pack and obeying alpha. The pack being those living in Konoha and alpha being the clan head or the Hokage. The physical, almost canine traits could either have been selectively bred into them or old marks of the Wolf Summoning Contract still showing in later descendants.

Legend in that clan had it that the dogs they had now were reared from the wolves summoned and kept in this dimension long enough to have a litter of pups. That Contract, if it had ever existed, was missing now, but since the Dog Summoning Contract was held by the Hatake clan and the Inuzukas hadn't raised unholy hell about it, it was possible they did once hold the Wolf Contract.

Aburames were another curious clan.

There was little known publicly about the physical adaptations of those ninjas to the destruction beetles that marked their existence, but their mentality was also pulled from the insects they mainly used. Kikachu were hive minded, like bees and wasps. The queen produced the next generations, the workers kept the queen alive, and the soldiers kept the whole hive safe. Aburames considered Hokage-sama the queen, the civilians the workers, the shinobi corps the soldiers, and Konoha the hive.

Logical and rational thinking was prized to them and most were unconcerned for individual welfare compared to survival of the whole, they were the damn near perfect soldiers if not generally good leader material. Which was why a lot of civilians gave the clan members a wide berth, and even shinobi were careful around the clan.

Natsumi had to wonder if the fellow shinobi Sakumo had saved in lieu of completing his last mission had been an Aburame, it would account for the initial backlash against her old captain if he went against the wishes of an unusually fanatical clan ninja and failed whatever objective they had in the process. Aburames were another of the noble founding clans of Konoha and they had a decent amount of political heft behind them.

The rise of the Third Great Shinobi War from the botched mission would account for the rest of the pressure that made her taicho take his own life, and he probably had done it only so his son didn't have to deal with most of it. The man was irritating when he got around to fussing about how others saw her small form in ANBU armor now that he could do it to her and not just in his head, and she could only dread how bad he was going to be about Kakashi's wellbeing.

Unlike an Inuzuka's frontal challenge to sort out dominance before working with another, an Aburame would just melt into view to complete a task and then fade away into the background content with their efforts.

Tsume and Shibi didn't really have a problem with each other, one was teasing the other without knowing it in the beginning and continuing to do so since he couldn't find a way out of the loop.

"It'll work out itself, once Tsume-san figures out that Shibi-san's not just going to conform to her expectations and she needs to place him without fighting him over everything to see where he dominates. Shibi-san can't do it because he honestly can't figure out how to do that or get the idea across to her even if he's been trying to. But until then they shouldn't be assigned anything you care about being traced back to Konoha, Hokage-sama."

The older man nodded, gesturing to the scroll she had wrote it all out on. "When you go see Minato-kun, take Inoichi-kun your analysis so it can be filed with his clan. I believe they are still holding your kouhai's birthday party in the Nara clan compound."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

(ooo000ooo)

"Oh, Inoichi- _kun!_ "

"Aa… Natsumi-sempai?"

"Hmm? Is there a problem, kouhai?"

Minato looked a little pale. "Put the tantō down, please."

Inoichi heard that and dove to the floor in the nick of time, warily eyeing the shaft of sharp metal embedded above his head and still humming from the force of the assassin's throw. "Is there a reason you just tried to kill me?"

"Oh please. If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead." The still irritated teen-woman huffed, eyeing him in return for the ugly look he was giving her ANBU issued tantō. "And that's for the suggestion you gave Hokage-sama. Here, you file the damn report on it."

The scroll beamed the mind walker between the eyes, snapping his head back and knocking him out of his chair.

Shikaku cracked opened one of his eyes, peering over and barely blinking at the sword sprouting from the wall of his home because he was more interested in the abuse she was heaping on her old teammate and his current one. "And now for the rest of us who want to know why you almost killed someone in my kitchen?"

Natsumi gave him a dirty look of his own, stripping off her mission pack and letting it fall to the floor before yanking her short sword out of the living room wall so she could put that away in the scroll Minato had given her for her last birthday and she used for her ANBU kit. "Inoichi-kun gave Sarutobi-sama my name if he needed some ninjas evaluated for how well they work with others, since I'm not a Yamanaka by clan or name but I do work with him on some of his projects and wouldn't be immediately suspected of doing that kind of evaluation right off the bat. That's why I almost missed my kouhai's birthday."

Kushina shoved a plate in front of her face. "Cake?"

Derailed, the assassin blinked at the offering. "If can't kill it, hime, why would I want cake?"

"Chouza-kun's okaa-san made it."

"Mmm… kay." Plate in hand, Natsumi fitted herself in between Shikaku and Hizashi and across from Minato, Inoichi, and Chouza.

Mikoto snickered at her, and all the ANBU did in return was a rude gesture since her mouth was full. Hey, Akimichi cooking was _really_ good.

"At least it had to be important, right?" Inoichi accepted the Akimichi heir's offer of a hand up, rubbing the mark on his forehead as he reclaimed his seat and took the scroll back from Fugaku. "If they called you out with so little time to prepare?"

"It was a pissing match between an Inuzuka and an Aburame going around in left hand circles. All they need to do is get over themselves and screw each other. Problem solved."

Natsumi decided the various spit takes were the second best part of her day so far, next to making it back in time for her kouhai's birthday. Hiashi really did have a great pair of lungs on him given how far that milk went.

Wait… who _had_ been Hana's father?

\V/

Mesuji Natsumi was an odd woman trapped in a teen's body.

Kushina had known that she was since her home country was destroyed, when the mismatched eyed girl had silently sat by her and let her grieve for her missing home on her shoulder. She hadn't know just how odd until she was rescued from being kidnapped by Kumo nins and been fully informed as to what was behind those ghost eyes of the girl's had been another strange turn.

It hadn't been until Mito-baa-sama died that Kushina began to appreciate just how lonely the other kunoichi had to have been before, Natsumi having eight years keeping to herself in order to grieve about people and places long dust before Minato pulled her out of it and she started to claw her way out of that depression. Admittedly when the older Uzumaki had died the redhead hadn't been in the best state to understand that thought, and gave the assassin a few sharp words about loss.

Then Natsumi told her what she had lost compared to the lone Uzumaki, and Kushina felt some kinship with her after the horrible embarrassment of grating open the other girl-woman's hidden scars about her old life.

There were times when the assassin was more there than here, the commanding, war hardened soldier that had come before rather than the quirky, mischievous kunoichi she was now. You could tell when Natsumi just stopped, going silent, serious, poised, and her eyes grew colder than how they looked framed by a bone white and black streaked mask.

Those incidents were getting farther and farther between, and Inoichi told them it was perfectly normal, kind of like how Kushina would never get over losing Uzugakure but would finally adapt to that loss, but it was still creepy to see happen to someone you half expected to tell you to get laid so they didn't have to deal with your grouchy attitude anymore.

Talking to her when she was like this was another thing entirely. Only Minato had complete success at it, Inoichi and Shikaku had some successes of their own… but she would also respond to Kushina as much as the boy turned teenager that saved her from her own mind. So when no one could find her within the village, either she or Minato were sent up to the Hokage's Monument to fetch her.

"Natsumi-chan?"

"You don't have to keep coming out here if you don't want to, hime."

"Aa… I have a question." The icy cold eyes turned to her, warming only a little when she didn't flinch back. "Do you know…?" The red headed teen placed her hand over her stomach.

"Honorable Mito-sama was the last one, its common knowledge in ANBU if you have the rank for it. You were taught exclusively by her. Yes, Kushina-hime. I put it together." The assassin sat down over the edge of the cliff, gesturing her to sit as well. "Why ask?"

Kushina sat next to Natsumi, carefully thinking of how she wanted to address her concerns. She had suspected the misplaced soldier had known, and the confirmation was just setting her more on edge. "Do you think any of the others will catch on?"

"Unless they join ANBU as well, I highly doubt it. Most of Konoha think he was sealed into something else, like how Suna has the one-tail contained in a teapot. Saa, a few of our little group of friends will be told, of course. I'm mostly sure someone's told Hiashi-san and Fugaku-sama already." The red head lost all the color in her face, and the ANBU turned to her and placed her hand on her shoulder. "Hey. Do they treat you any differently than me? I highly doubt they care beyond being thankful someone's keeping track of his royal furriness."

Shock at the slight against the nine-tails made the Uzumaki snort a laugh out even if she was scared half to death from the subject matter. "I'll have to remember that one."

The assassin hummed, dropping her hand and turning back to the view of the village from the Hokage's Monument. "You want to know if you should tell the others yourself?"

"Well… yeah, you know."

"From a security standpoint, no. The more people who know the more likely it will get out." Before Kushina could stammer out a thanks and scramble to leave, Natsumi continued. "From a psychology one? Yeah I think you should. There was this little pithy saying once upon a time, a burden shared is a burden halved. Stupid sounding, but it got me out of one hell of a rut back in the academy."

The jinchūriki absorbed that as the teen-woman next to her came to life a bit, swinging her feet. "I know it's a bit rude to ask, but was there anything like me back then?"

"Nukes, maybe. But that was more instant obliteration in a large area than a force of chakra made real through someone else's will that could stomp Konoha flat in a few minutes."

Not having expected a readied answer for her question, Kushina looked directly at Natsumi. "Where they ever used?"

"Yep." The smile the assassin wore was lopsided and grim. "Twice as far as I knew, and another whole war was fought over who could _possibly_ maybe kill who first with them."

"D-do you think I'll be used like that-t?"

Yes, but Natsumi didn't think that would go over well with the unsettled Uzumaki teen right at that moment. The assassin sighed and tugged at her loose and long hair, something she had never gotten around to cutting before it became a sort of signal her body recognized to mean off-duty and relaxation time. There had to be a way to get Kushina willing to use Kurama's hate in defense of the village sometime soon, because it _had_ happened before.

"You have to understand, Kushina-hime, the village is only about forty or so years old right now and what I can recall had been in place and squabbling for _centuries_. I know it doesn't seem like it because we were _raised_ here, but Sandaime-sama is actually _older_ than Konoha is as a village. If I recall our history lessons right he was around five to ten-ish when the first buildings were built, and our village was the _first_ one founded as a permanent shinobi stronghold for several ninja clans. Our world right now is trying to figure out how this method of dividing and hording power is working for or against them, and we're nowhere near close to figuring that out. My last life had some defined lines where world powers were concerned, and even _that_ wasn't conflict free. I can estimate another war on the horizon before any kind of uneasy peace breaks out for however long, and even that will be continually tested because no one likes being second or even third best."

_I can guess because I already know it's going to happen, I just can't tell you that yet._

The jinchūriki stared hard at her. "Why not? Konoha has come out on top in the last two wars. Wouldn't the other Hidden Villages respect that?"

"But we lost a Hokage per war. This last war only proved that they were right to found Konoha for the next generations, the sannin beat that into everyone's heads to the point that no one argued. When this next was comes to be if _we_ can keep up the reputation the _Densetsu_ _no_ _Sannin_ started and hold onto Sandaime-sama to prove the method will hold true for later generations _and_ we can make it a decisive victory without losing a major pillar of Konoha, _then_ some kind of respect will be offered anything with the Leaf symbol on it and the mass majority of the fighting will have been done and over with."

It's what Namikaze Minato had done almost on his own merit, becoming the Yellow Flash and hammering Iwa almost into bloody dust by himself. It was what Uzumaki Kushina helped to do becoming the Red Hot Bloody Habanero, a mix of Kurama's rage and her own protective nature for those closest to her aimed at ripping apart Konoha's enemies. It was why the Shika-Ino-Chou team-up became famous enough that the next generation was sorted that way from the very start. They had done that to show the rest of the shinobi world that Konohagakure was not a village to mess with unless they wanted to lose _badly_.

It was why Konoha was targeted first by Uchiha Madara even if the nine-tails was the last bijuu he needed for the Moon-Eye Plan; to test the method of extraction, bring down the best of the villages, as well as take revenge for honorable Hiroshima-sama kicking him out. Even if had meant he would lose sight of the nine-tailed fox while he gathered the rest of the nine bijuu.

It also made the division of power unstable, taking out two of the key fighters of the Third War and new kage of Konohagakure, making the other villages think they could grab that title of the Strongest Hidden Village of the Five Great Shinobi Nations if they only struck hard enough to make a fracture someone could take advantage of.

Kumo tried for it once, snatching the Hyūga heiress under the guise of a non-aggression treaty. Then Hiashi had beaten the shit out of the kidnappers before killing the abductors of his daughter and Sandaime-sama had to offer him up to keep the conflicts of the Third Great War from rising again, but it proved that Konoha might have been weakened but not down by a long shot when Hizashi took his place and war didn't break out again.

"If there was an opportunity to ensure any children you or I may have would never see any kind of war until their own _twenties_ , what would you do to see it happen?"

"Oh… I would do a _lot_."

The two of them sat there, each contemplating exactly what they would do for that prospect becoming reality. Natsumi finally nudged the jinchūriki, curious as to why she had been sought out. "What's up, anyways? It's my day off from training."

"Sakumo-sama is pissed at you for telling Tsunade-sama about his girlfriend. She demanded to be the medic consulted for the pregnancy and whacked him a good one for not telling her himself."

"Aa… I think I'm going to stay up here for now. Tell Minato-kun to fetch me when taicho gets over it."

Well, Natsumi never did find out what happened to Kakashi's mom. Better safe than sorry, and Eri was a nice lady.

\V/

She was going to kill Inoichi.

Not happy had been how she felt when her last 'emergency' mission rose up, and 'pissed' was starting to describe how she felt now with a long term mission about the same subject matter staring her in the face.

However… the Hokage ordered her to do it, so she'd do it.

Kami-sama help them all if she missed taicho's son being born, though.

Natsumi sighed in defeat and looked up from the mission scroll in her hands to the office ninja. "Targets?" She accepted the second scroll filled with D or C-rank assassination targets to take care of while they were gone, gesturing for the two other chūnin to follow her out of the Hokage's Tower.

Tsume and Shibi were staring at her back as they hit the courtyard outside and Kuromaru joined them, and she could sort of see why if she wasn't in the mood to appreciate the whys of it. Being told that younger ninja you ran a mission with was actually an assassin specialist benched from ANBU for the length of her kenjutsu apprenticeship was a little jarring, about as much as being told she had been tasked with finding a way to solve the problems between them while they played backup for _her_ mission of a string of minor assassinations for ANBU.

An assassin training in the ninja ways of the sword moonlighting as a shinobi psychologist… _hey_ , she was creepier than she thought she was!

Cheered up enough by that realization to be somewhat sociable, Natsumi turned back to the two plus dog behind her. "Come on, we got a place to be first before we grab mission kits and leave."

"Breaking the news to your friends?" Tsume asked warily, not sounding too sure about the reason the ghost eyed teen had.

"That… or attempted homicide. I'm not picky."

(ooo000ooo)

Inoichi spotted her coming this time, blanching white and scrambling up to run for dear life.

Natsumi stopped in the middle of the Senju clan compound's front yard, watching the mind walker disappear into the forests within the compound. "Damn. Someone warned him."

"I did, Natsumi-chan." Sakumo's hand hit her upside the head. "No harming your friends. Do we need to have this conversation again?"

"Hey! I intentionally missed last time." The assassin gritted out, one had going to reset the bun her hair was in. "And no, taicho. We don't need to have that conversation again, they don't have visible scars."

As the stare down between master and apprentice was going on, Minato turned to the two other chūnin he didn't recognize. "Why are you two here? Does sempai have a mission again?"

"Err… yeah. We've got a… um." Tsume floundered mid-sentence as she watched, vastly confused by what was going on and how much she could tell someone else about the teen dancing around the older Hatake's reach. And was that the young Hyūga clan head and his brother over there with the heir to the Uchihas and his intended bride? When the hell has she been hit with a genjutsu?

"Assassinations, kouhai." Natsumi pulled a face at her taicho, getting bopped on the head again. "We're going to kill a few people, solve the issues between those two, and hopefully come back in time for Eri-san to have taicho's kid. If not, I make no promises that I'll still have two teammates coming back. The dog will be fine, either way."

She ducked the third swipe at her head, hiding behind the amused Chouza and sticking her tongue out at the silver haired man.

Shikaku pushed himself upright enough to look at the two newcomers and the dog. "They're the two 'going around in left hand circles'?"

The Inuzuka and ninken both looked slightly incredulous about everything going on, and the Aburame's eyebrows were visible over his dark glasses. The Nara heir felt for them, really. Sometimes _he_ didn't know how he had been pulled into this circus either.

"It's not really their fault, which is why I've been tasked to solve it for them. It's just a matter of how they view the world."

_Then a saving a life thing that I need to work out how to do if I'm the only one supposed to see any combat on this mission._

"Sucks to be you, then."

"I'm hurt, Kushina-hime. I thought you _liked_ me."

"Shut _up_ , Natsumi-chan."

\V/

There were many small clinics in the village that took both ninjas and civilians as patients, but the main hospital in Konoha was segregated. It _had_ to be, because then no shinobi would feel alright about dropping one's guard enough for a iryou-nin to check them over if just anyone could get into their part of the hospital wings when they couldn't defend themselves at an instant's notice.

The clinics were treated more like stationary first-aid stations by the ninja ranks, used as stepping stones until they were stable enough to either leave for home or make it to the hospital, rather than mini hospitals that the civilians saw them as.

There were times when the shinobi side and the civilian wings mixed, when there were more injured ninjas than chakra using medics and when ninjas had civilian significant others and they became injured or ill and said shinobi didn't recall in time that they had their own side of the hospital when rushing them there.

Like when Hatake Sakumo panicked about Yamamoto Eri's contractions and took her to the kunoichi medical wing. Senju Tsunade would have knocked the frantic would-be-father through a wall or two if the situation hadn't been so dire. Instead she tasked the group of friends showing up in the waiting room with sitting on one of their fellow's master until she could deal with him later.

Minato sighed, a bouncing foot up and down giving away his nervousness. "Sempai's late."

The Akimichi doing the actual sitting on Sakumo, his legs to pin the older shinobi in place, looked up to the darkening sky outside the hallway window. "The baby's early, Minato-kun. It's not her fault."

"She's still going to be pissed with those two if she doesn't make it." At the low whimper from the man on the floor, Shikaku slapped his own face with his hand before the glaring Inoichi could do it for him. "Bad word choice, sorry Sakumo-sama."

Eri's water had broken, but she was also bleeding heavily and in more pain that she should be. Tsunade had sent for Biwako by sending Hizashi out to summon the older kunoichi, but the two of them hadn't arrived there yet. Kushina and Mikoto were in with the civilian woman, claiming teammate rights to stand in for Natsumi and her master in the delivery room.

"Why are you sitting on my taicho, Chouza-kun?" A female in a Panther ANBU mask slid through the window the Akimichi heir had just looked through, slinking over to where the silver head on the floor was as she pushed her mask up so everyone could see her ghost pale, mismatched eyes. "Biwako-sama is in there now. She came through the other window."

Thank kami for retired kunoichi midwives.

Sakumo surged upright, actually knocking Chouza off his legs. "Let's go… but, aa… you might want to change first."

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi had made it back in time to see Kakashi born, a month premature but healthy, and ew. Also _ow_.

Did she really want to go through _that_ sometime in the future?

Eri would be fine, seeing as Tsunade had been fetched before anything really bad could happen. Biwako had taken care of delivering the baby while the Slug Princess handled the damage an active chakra network in a newborn could cause before it harmed the mother too badly.

Apparently Kakashi wasn't just happy being labeled a child prodigy at three or five or whenever, he wanted it sooner.

Brat.

Natsumi did manage to get why Kushina and Mikoto had been in with the new mother, and learned a bit about how shinobi viewed each other that she hadn't had a reason to find out yet.

Next of kin for shinobi were backwards seeming, to say the least. Usually, when a genin ninja was orphaned guardianship went to either the master or jōnin sensei, not their closest blood relative. It was partly to keep a newly orphaned shinobi from having to deal with a new home situation while in training or handling missions, and partly to keep that ninja within the village as a Konoha shinobi if the only blood relations where outside the walls.

Teammate rights were similar to sibling rights, you would have the power to step in like a family member since a ninja spent most of their time with their teams after a certain amount of time on one. It inevitably evolved for ninjas to consider their cell their family, and make their plans for the worse to involve them.

After you reached chūnin rank you didn't even have to have run a mission with a shinobi to claim being a teammate, you just had to know one well enough that the rest of the ninjas that _had_ ran missions with said shinobi wouldn't protest it.

Eri was considered Sakumo's wife, for all intents and purposes in the shinobi ranks, for the impending wedding and for having his child. Mesuji Natsumi, as an orphaned kunoichi not yet at the age civilians would accept being self-sufficient, was legally a ward jointly cared for by Jiraiya and Sakumo, and now Eri as the not-so-last Hatake's sort of wife. Uzumaki Kushina and Uchiha Mikoto were the closest kunoichi to Natsumi, since neither Minato nor Inoichi had the gender to witness the birth of a child not their own although they had the rights for it and Sakumo was banished until he calmed down.

That was why the two kunoichi had stepped in Natsumi's and Sakumo's place, the assassin wasn't expected back for another month and her master wasn't calm enough to hold his soon-to-be-wife's hand.

Now in the sort of standard uniform of the Chūnin Corps, the only thing the hospital had to replace mission damaged clothing before discharging shinobi because she had thrown her mission pack at Tsume's head when she hear where her taicho was, Natsumi smirked down at the fluffy silver head of the baby in her arms. She could admit he was kind of cute, it that lobster red and wrinkled look of all newborns.

Okay yeah, she wanted one or two herself eventually.

"Didn't you have another few weeks out there before coming back? I _know_ you just came in the village since you were still in uniform." Sakumo's low voice carried over to her, from where her kenjutsu master was sitting next to the sleeping form of Eri.

"Well… I finally got fed up with the two of them, threw them head first in a bandit encampment and didn't help until they got over their issues." At her old taicho's flat look, the assassin rolled her mismatched eyes. "Tsume-san's loud voice attracted attention of a wandering band of scruffy idiots, said idiots attacked thinking we were travelers and a dog in the middle of an argument. Shibi-san kept the Inuzuka teen from being beheaded while we were killing them. Something in her head went click, and now they can deal with each other. Mostly. I sped through the rest of my targets and we decided to run back because we had been out of the village a while and there was only two months to go before Kakashi-chan's due date."

"Don't you still have to report in?"

"If you wanna hold your son, say so taicho." Natsumi got up and carefully transferred the new Hatake clan member to his father. "And no. Hokage-sama gave me leave to report tomorrow instead of doing it then, giving me the news that you two were in the hospital at the same time."

Sakumo smirked at Kakashi, who had started to fuss with the transference and the shifting sources of body heat. "Anything else to report?"

"I may have… _acquired_ an unfortunate nickname for my mask while out there."

A silver eyebrow rose, but the man didn't look up. "From speeding through your mission like a green recruit?"

"…maybe."

(ooo000ooo)

 _Sosen no Fukushū_. Avenging Ancestor.

Natsumi was sure some kami out there was laughing at her, but Minato was the only one she could hear at the moment. "Shut up already."

"Sorry." Her kouhai didn't look remotely apologetic about laughing at her or for the grin on his face. "But still… appropriate."

The assassin rolled the ghost eyes that gained her that nickname and slumped further into Minato's couch. Since either of her pale green and blue eyes were the only identifiable part of her in ANBU armor, some idiot she had missed sight of had recalled that when spreading the gossip of the assassinations she did. Natsumi was now wavering between being annoyed she was technically being called old and being impressed someone had escaped her notice after spotting her. She did have to hope the rumors would go away, that little nickname wasn't something she wanted attached to _her_ name.

It was a very good thing it was hard to judge the age of someone in ANBU uniform and the idiot only saw her blue eye, or some of the ninjas that had been in Suna for the chūnin exams would put her eyes together with the mask of the rumors and point fingers at her being an assassin and not a kenjutsu user in training. They might still do it, but most who spread those rumors wouldn't believe that a young woman would be the cold blooded killer called _Sosen no Fukushū_ without hard proof, and since the only other person in this world with her odd eyes was her kaa-san it would just give life to more rumors about dead women killing people. Civilians could be idiots sometimes.

Since other shinobi villages knowing that Konoha had a light blue eyed assassin of that much renown wouldn't damage the village's reputation, their Hokage wasn't all that annoyed with her. She would still be docked mission pay, and until the rumors died down whenever a foreign ninja came to Konoha she would be required to either be in ANBU armor and on-duty or wear her green contacts, but eh.

Since ANBU wasn't supposed to exist, there was an entire branch of Intelligence that handled rumormongering to counter any sighting or stories of ANBU agents caught in the act. They also held the negotiators that haggled the prices for missions the civilians paid for their work being done, and the propaganda department that made sure the people of Fire Country thought only good things about Konoha and horrible deeds went on in other villages.

Which meant there were members of the Chūnin Corps that were _paid_ just to go out to little towns and foreign countries and drink at a bar or four and exaggerate rumors circling around to keep a specific ninja from being identified. By the time they were done, _Sosen no Fukushū_ might be anyone from a _male_ Hyūga clan member to a nuke-nin under a genjutsu trying to keep from being identified.

Natsumi was just happy to be back in the village. Even if it did mean most of her friends would have a good laugh at her expense.

Besides, an almost four month long C-ranked ANBU assassination mission paid per target was a pretty hefty chunk of mission pay even with the knock off the top for risk taking.

"Natsumi- _chan!_ Someone else is looking for you!" Kushina simply waltzed right into the blond's apartment, grinning at the two of them. Most of their friends knew exactly where to find her most days, right where she was currently sitting. "We need to put up a sign that says if you're not home, check Minato-kun's place."

"And I would like to know who's looking for me before I bother going to see who it is." Natsumi stuck her nose in the air. "It looks like neither of us is going to get what we want."

"She has a dog with her and another teen full of bugs, does that count?"

"Ah, fuck." Tsume and Shibi then. She had gotten back her mission pack from the Inuzuka when they reported to the Hokage that morning after taicho and his family was moved to his home, so what did they want? "Right."

The assassin got two feet from the door before she realized Kushina wasn't following. "Hime?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't think my kouhai needs someone to watch him ink a seal anymore. Apparently it's been a few weeks since he last screwed up an explosive tag, if the char marks on his table are any judge. Unless, of course, you want to stay and watch for another reason then I'm _all_ for you staying."

The Uzumaki went red with a squeak and sped out of there even as Minato blushed and glared at her for the crack against his competence in his ninja specialty before she closed his apartment door. The following small thuds might have been some sharp things lobbed at her head, but her adorable kouhai wouldn't do that to his respectable sempai.

Mmm… maybe she should tone down the violence a little.

Kushina was writing something on the assassin's own apartment door, Tsume and Shibi were watching her do it as Kuromaru lounged against the railing. "Okay. Hime, what are you doing?"

"Writing my notice." The jinchūriki finished with a flourish, putting the brush full of ink back wherever she had stored it. "And now we both have what we want."

_If she's not home, go next door._

While Natsumi had been decrypting the hurried handwriting, and taking apart the stasis seal around it in her head, Kushina got close enough to press a noisy kiss to her cheek. "Bye bye, have fun!"

"There is a lot I can do with that, Kushina- _hime!_ "

"I'm looking forward to it!"

The assassin snorted when the last flicker of red hair disappeared out of sight, turning back to her unexpected guests. "If the two of you have some kind of clan problem, I'm kicking you to the Nara clan compound. Kami-sama _knows_ Shikaku-kun did more of that than I did."

"No we're… wait, what?"

"I believe this conversation should take place inside. Why? We have just come by to express our gratitude for allowing us to solve our own problems in time."

Natsumi clicked her tongue at them, unlocking her door and letting them into her own apartment. "Mmm kay? There really hadn't been a lot I did for you two, you had the problem in hand and feeling for the solution even before I was asked to take a look and later play mediator. Tea?"

"You may not think much of it, Natsumi. But we would have been passed over for promotion if you hadn't." The future head of her clan took a seat on the floor in front of her own couch, letting her ninken sprawl across her lap. "As is, we maybe got a suspension as chūnin for a few weeks until they get off their asses and confirm it."

Suffixes were not something the Inuzuka clan used much, seeing no point in them if everyone was pack. The only ones they titled - _sama_ was the Hokage and their clan head. Although the assassin admitted it was now a little strange not to hear a tag on her name when not in the middle of a mission and if something was urgently needed from her.

Since the wild natured teen was settling down for the moment, Natsumi figured she did want the tea. Shibi nodded his agreement, either to the tea or the statement, the assassin couldn't figure that one out.

"And ya took us with you on mission even knowing what we're like."

Natsumi almost missed her stove top with the kettle. As it was it still gave a dull clang when the two pieces of metal collided. "What?"

"Hokage-sama must have lied to us about Natsumi-san being able to refuse to assist. Why? Her reaction speaks of surprise."

"Um, no. I just wasn't aware I _could_ have refused." At the two blank looks, and wow was _Shibi_ a master of that expression, the assassin gave them a flat stare in return. "ANBU, remember? We don't turn down missions. Ever."

Tsume looked a little ill, recalling that while it had been a mostly boring run around the greater parts of Fire Country and a few of the border states for them, it had been a strings of killings for her. "Oh shit, right."

"It is likely that Hokage-sama intended for you to assume so. Why? In order to secure your assistance."

"Yeah, you are able to refuse secondary missions if they're not your main specialty, Natsumi."

Well… you learned something new every day.

"Damn, thanks for telling me _now_." Natsumi waited until the two of them had taken a sip of tea. "So, this isn't to tell me you're madly in love and are expecting the first of many kids you want to name after me?"

Hmm… apparently it takes more than that to make an Aburame spit take, though Shibi did turn an interesting shade of pale green and flailed slightly. On the bright side Tsume got hers all over an unimpressed Kuromaru.

Well, it was a challenge to work on in her free time.

\V/

Sakumo had snatched her up and shunshined away, right in the middle of a conversation with Fugaku. If Jiraiya hadn't had such a habit of the same thing when he needed one of his students to make up excuses for him, Natsumi would have been a little more annoyed when the man put her down right in front of his home.

"I need you to watch them for me, Natsumi-chan. I've got a mission to deal with."

A pat on the head later, and the silver haired new father was gone. Judging by the frown on his face, taicho wasn't happy at the mission slotted for the moment his paternity leave ended.

Toeing off her ninja sandals by catching the clasps with her exposed toes, Natsumi placed her armful of Uchiha scrolls on a table close to the door and entered the Hatake clan home. Fugaku would send someone for them when it became apparent Sakumo wasn't returning her or them. "Eri-san?"

"In the kitchen!"

Following the sounds of the woman's voice and Kakashi's baby gurgles, which he was so getting teased over later when he was old enough to appreciate it, the assassin found the mother of her old ANBU captain's son making dinner. "What brings you by today, Natsumi-chan?"

"Taicho was pulled for a mission. He's tasked me with being his hands here until he's back." She probably didn't need to know about the 'watch' thing.

Eri sighed regretfully, but smiled softly at her fussing son before going back to the soup simmering on the stove and humming some lullaby to keep the newborn from crying.

There was a very good chance that the woman would have died in childbirth if Natsumi hadn't told Tsunade about her pregnancy before Sakumo panicked over her contractions and the blood.

Even when married or living with ninjas, civilian women tended to continue going to civilian doctors for pregnancy and child birth. Apparently, according to Biwako later when the emergency was over, that wasn't a very good idea at all. Shinobi parents were much more likely to have ninja children, with chakra networks active sooner than most civilian born ninjas had, who only got around to unlocking their networks in the academy unless someone took interest in them and showed them how.

Kakashi was exceptional in that regard, but he had almost unwittingly killed his mother trying everything he could to find a more comfortable position in an ever contracting space without a kunoichi midwife on hand to keep him from doing so.

Natsumi wasn't at all apologetic now about telling Tsunade about her taicho knocking up his girlfriend. Since that had let the two women meet and get to know each other before the little brat decided he wanted out, and let the sannin realize the baby was a clan child, not an average ninja's, and all the complications that could have in the process. Her taicho had later cornered her and thanked her for spilling the beans to the Slug Princess about his girlfriend's condition, even if he had been less than appreciative at the time she had done so.

She wondered if that was the start of the end, her old captain's unknowing risk of Eri's life that eventually killed her. Was that the first crack in his confidence as a shinobi?

Natsumi stripped off her weaponry, piling it up on the floor next to her before extending a slightly calloused hand out to Kakashi, who was set up on the table in his little basket and waving his tiny fists at her. Eri looked over to them at the first clangs of metal, turning back when she realized the kunoichi was respecting her mandate of 'no weapons on your person when handling the baby'. The assassin was sure there was a story behind that, but Sakumo had changed the topic too fast for her to ask when it had been brought up the first time.

"Are you going to be joining me for dinner then, Natsumi-chan?"

"Probably. Do you mind if I go grab Minato-kun and Kushina-hime when Kashi-chan naps? I still don't really know what the two of them eat when I'm not there to cook for them. Scratch that, I know _exactly_ what Kushina-hime eats, and she doesn't need any more."

It really was possible to live off ramen if you vary it between flavors, Kushina was living proof. Natsumi just wanted to cringe over the sodium intake of Konoha's jinchūriki.

Both of them.

(ooo000ooo)

After Eri sent both Kushina and Minato home, each with seconds of dinner in a bento box for tomorrow, Natsumi went around the compound once to check out the perimeter as the older woman gave the baby a bath.

The only thing that saved her life that night was Kakashi loudly laughing at something and the sound carrying out to her.

Natsumi turned her head to see if she could pick up the sound of what was amusing the baby so, and caught the sight of a tip of a sword being swung at the back of her neck. The assassin dropped forward, swinging a foot backwards as one of her hands went for a weapon. The blade sliced through her long hair, but she knocked the attacker forward onto her back and the kunai she never removed from under her left foot was firmly shoved back into the adult sized attacker's heart.

Rolling the man off her, and ignoring his blood seeping through her shirt, Natsumi leapt up onto the roof of the large, traditional style house. She caught sight of another figure making its way silently to where the upper floor bathing room was, and cast her kinjutsu to alter how the supposed killer saw reality.

Fugaku, even without the Yin release hint, had been instrumental in helping her develop the assassination technique further than the double sight effect it had initially done. Natsumi had played around with the levels of Yin she used in Suna when taking the chūnin exams like he had suggested, though he had asked about varying amounts of chakra, and figured out how to make a target see what she wanted them too. This version of it skewed depth perception, not the flicker sight of paranoia the first one suggested. The would-be assassin wouldn't be able to throw right if its life depended on it.

Her next target realized something was wrong when she misjudged a step and knocked a few loose tiles together, cutting off the sound of Eri's voice as she talked to Kakashi.

Natsumi grabbed the neck of the woman and shoved her bloody kunai through to the heart again, before the would-be-assassin had the opportunity to do anything. Slowly lowering the heavily bleeding woman to the tiled roof, the ANBU assassin flared her chakra in the standard pattern for 'attack, backup needed'.

That signal flare also alerted another assassin, the heavier footfalls of a male abandoned any attempt of surviving the mission and started slamming doors on the first floor, trying to find his targets. The ghost eyed teen used the window Eri had left open to enter the bathroom where she was with baby Kakashi.

The woman had already wrapped the wet two month old in a towel and held him securely in her arms, backing away from both the open window and the door to the hallway while trying to keep them both in her sight. She had to clap a free hand over her mouth at the appearance of the blood splattered teenager her husband taught, who ignored that to station herself between her taicho's wife and the door to the hall.

That door was thrown open a few tense minutes later, but it wasn't a man she didn't know. Hatake Sakumo looked all three of them over quickly then gestured to the assassin. "Eri, stay here with Kakashi. Come on, Natsumi. We're hunting."

She just nodded and slid pass Jackal, who nodded back at her, and followed her taicho down into the living room. Sakumo had apparently made it home in time to catch her signal and to keep the third attacker from going any farther than he had, because the man was sliced clean in though in the main hallway.

"Damn, taicho. Remind me not to piss you off any time soon."

Sakumo only bared his teeth at the corpse, biting a thumb and flexing his fingers rapidly through hand signs before slamming a hand down on the floor. Natsumi had never seen the man Summon his Dogs before, the Contract was too well known as belonging to the Hatake clan of Konohagakure no Sato for him to use it in ANBU, and watched the sequence avidly. A surge of chakra and an implosion of smoke answered, and a moment later an oddly dressed greyhound stood on all fours in the hall with them.

The dog looked around and shook her head. "Assassins, pup? In your own den, even. What have you been up to?"

The silver haired man knelt down to her level, almost vibrating with anger. "If it hadn't been for my own little assassin, they would have killed my mate and pup, Aki-sama. I think there may have been another."

The greyhound looked straight at Natsumi and she was going to assume the dog smirked. The assassin had an uneasy feeling about what the look was supposed to mean if directed at her.

"Then let's not waste any time. Follow me, I'll track the rat down for you."

(ooo000ooo)

There had been a fourth member of an Iwa assassination team, this one waiting outside the village for either the return of the assassin team or dawn's break to hightail it back to Earth Country. He wouldn't be doing that, as Sakumo, Aki, and Natsumi had eventually gotten around to knocking him out and handing the ninja over to T&I for processing… once they pried the man out of the greyhound's jaws and kept him from bleeding out.

Since neither master nor apprentice saw any sleep that night and dawn was staring to peek over the walls of the village, Sakumo simply grabbed the younger assassin and hauled her home with him after dismissing his Summons' pack leader.

Eri and Kakashi had been moved to the master bedroom, according to Crow who was standing guard just inside of the compound walls, with Jackal guarding the hallway door. Natsumi thought she saw Monkey on the roof where the woman had been last night. They did pass Horse cleaning the hallway, who gave both benched ANBU members a backward wave as she scrubbed the blood out of the hardwood floors. Tiger was checking each room upstairs, dropping what he had been on and clearing out one of the guest bedrooms when Sakumo asked him too, and Lizard had been flickering around doing the same downstairs.

It was almost like being back in ANBU headquarters, even if the new Lizard was female now, with the two squads Sakumo once looked after in the Second War keeping watch for them. Natsumi didn't even bother doing more that stripping out of the blood crusted clothing she had been wearing all night before collapsing into the bed.

\V/

Kushina was still fussing over her hair a week later.

"Honestly, hime. The only reason I never got around to cutting it was because there always were more interesting things to do." Natsumi pulled the now shoulder length mass up in a high tail. "It's more manageable this way."

"Yeah… but once we evened it out after that idiot hacked it off, you lost more of it." The jinchūriki was clutching her own ruby red locks as if someone would come around and try to chop hers off. "I _liked_ your long hair, you know."

Minato, who had been unfortunately forced to listen to the two kunoichi about hair length for the last half hour since they were camped out on his couch, rolled his eyes. "And sempai puts it up nearly on a daily basis, Kushina-chan. It seems more practical this way."

The Uzumaki threw a glare his way. "Are you saying you think my hair isn't practical?"

"No! Just… that for _sempai_ it seemed practical. Your hair looks good the way you have it." Natsumi's fellow orphan backpedaled hurriedly, dropping the inky brush he had been holding to wave his hands in front of him to suggest the other teen had taken his comment wrong. "It looks… um, pretty?"

"And now you're suggesting I'm more concerned over how my hair looks than how practical it is." Kushina huffed exasperatedly and got up. "I'll see you later, Natsumi-chan."

The assassin hid a grin and waved goodbye to the other chūnin, looking back just in time to see Minato clap a hand over his eyes and groan.

"I'll never understand girls."

"Well… that's not a _girl_ , kouhai. She's a _teenager_."

The blond peered at her between his ink stained fingers. "Very funny. Why are you here, anyways? Aren't you usually learning how to swing a sword now?"

"Taicho wanted family time with Eri-san and Kashi-chan after the scare last week, and I'm really hiding from Fugaku-sama for a little while. He's not happy with me." Since she had both forgotten to have either of the others return his clan scrolls that night and to alert the Uchiha Police Station about the assassination attempt. Natsumi could understand the first part, hell she wasn't happy about not returning the scrolls. The Police wouldn't have been alerted even if they had the time to do it between keeping Eri and Kakashi alive and finding the fourth idiot, so there.

The assassin then started to sniff theatrically, pouting over to the fūinjutsu user. "Do you not like me too, kouhai? I'll leave if you want me to."

Minato gave a weak laugh, dropping his hand to pick up his brush again, scanning the fūinjutsu seals laid out so he could work on them spread over his table. "Wouldn't Fugaku-san come here first to find you? This is a little obvious, sempai."

Natsumi shrugged, falling back onto the couch and stretching out. "Eh… I'm not going to put that much effort into hiding from him. He's not that scary. Sides, you can take him."

Even with ink on his face, though the streaks were kind funny.

"Your faith in my skills is astounding." The blond deadpanned back. "Go bother someone else."

"Ooh… _permission_."

Minato's eyes widened and he turned around to face his open door. "No! _Wait_ … ah hah, someone's going to kill me."

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku looked pale under his tan when he saw her behind his front door.

Natsumi's ninja senses were tingling. Something was up. "Shikaku-kun? Something wrong?"

" _Get me out of here_." The Nara heir hissed, gripping the assassin's arm tightly as he drew her inside.

Aikido beamed at the female friend her son had brought into the living room. "Hello, Natsumi-chan. Was there something you wanted?"

"I have to steal Shikaku-kun for a few. Someone attacked taicho last week and he wants his security layout looked over."

Shikai gave them both a knowing look over his wife's head, shooing them both out with a lazy wave when the woman looked over at him to see if it was alright. "Scram then. Be back by evening, son."

The shadow master wasted no time in leaving, something highly unusual for anyone in the Nara clan. Natsumi kept her mouth shut until they passed the clan walls. "And now for the real reason I played extractor? Cause I have to say, there are fees for this kind of thing."

"Kaa-chan wants to arrange a marriage for me, since apparently I'm too lazy to find a wife." Sighing, Shikaku ran a hand over the back of his neck. "There's nothing wrong with Yoshino-san, really. She's… okay. Just, I can't see myself living with her."

The assassin hummed, turning that over her head as the two of them headed somewhere the Nara was leading them to.

The scare with Eri and Kakashi had left her wondering if she had assumed wrong about Sakumo's reasoning for his suicide, and had her carefully looking over her time here to see if there had been any other misconceptions because there seemed to be a lot in the series of events she had put together for her taicho.

If Eri had survived the birth even without Natsumi's meddling, she would have been weakened a lot from the bleeding and dealing with a newborn baby. If Natsumi hadn't been with the two of them when the older man had been on mission, they might have been able to kill her before anyone knew about the attack. Their targets didn't include a newborn baby, though, and T&I was operating on the conclusion that Iwa hadn't heard about the birth of the man's son yet for the reason why. Sakumo already disliked Earth Country a lot for going after his wife, what would the older Hatake's feelings be like if they _had_ killed Eri and were about to do the same to Kakashi?

If the Iwa ninjas managed to kill the weakened wife of the last Hatake, but miss the baby, would that have pissed her taicho off enough to gain the moniker of Konoha's White Fang? Would he gain that title since Eri and Kakashi were fine?

Now Shikaku raised this problem up. Marriage for shinobi in this generation didn't really go hand in hand with liking the other person, usually it ended up being because there was a child involved or someone was arranged for it.

Love wasn't something specifically sought out by sane ninja, because that was one hell of a weakness to have and most didn't have the lifespan for that search to take. If they had the time to get to know someone it was because they were ninjas too, or because they were stuck together for the purpose of procreation.

Natsumi had thought her friends were, at the very least, okay with whoever they ended up with. Like Fugaku and Mikoto, who respected each other and got along well, Hizashi and his fellow Hyūga girl, who were tolerant of the arranged match and each other, or Sakumo and Eri, who genuinely liked the other and were getting to the point of affectionate caring. Minato and Kushina were exceptions to that hard and fast rule, even the assassin could see the beginnings of _something_ developing there, and had assumed everyone else would end up with maybe a lesser degree of that in time.

Konoha was easing out of that, by the next generation it wouldn't be until fifteen or twenty that the clans would _start_ thinking about continuing the bloodlines with longer lifespans to consider, but right now most clans were looking into appropriate partners for their heirs. Only recently were there couples that waited longer than that to get together and start on the next generation.

"Who _do_ you see yourself living with?" Natsumi asked idly, still turning the problem around in her head.

Had Shikaku ended up an alcoholic with this girl?

She couldn't recall ever seeing the clan head of the next generation without some kind of alcohol nearby. Had he really been that miserable with his arranged wife to try and find something to numb the days with? Alcohol wasn't something used by shinobi a lot, and definitely not on a daily basis. It dulled too many needed skills and senses for ninja to really like being drunk or even tipsy.

"You."

Natsumi tripped.

The shadow user caught her before she hit the ground. "What?"

"Me?" No squeaking. Nope, not her.

"Well… yeah. You're not predictable." The heir of the Nara clan eyed her suspiciously. "And sometimes you can keep up with me. Which is better than most of the people I deal with."

"…I'm not really all that _sane_ , Shikaku!"

The teen snorted as he let her go when the assassin found her feet. "Sanity's overrated. Yeah, we've got rational thinking. You've got tangents and angles to work with, and _damn_ do you work them. Besides, who in the shinobi corps can you call completely _sane?_ "

Shutting her mouth fast enough to click her teeth together, Natsumi had to give him that one.

"And kaa-chan's really been after me to ask you about this. She's still planning the wedding in her head, has been since the academy and I brought you two over."

 _Stop_ … wait. "Was she planning on Minato-kun too? Cause that's kinda weird."

Shikaku blinked, jaw open to counter whatever next objection she had. He shut his mouth after a stunned moment, and started laughing.

"What? He's like my little brother. Incest is _wrong!_ "

The Nara snorted and tugged her into a hug. "Since there wasn't anything else you brought up, I take it you don't mind?"

No, her brain hamster was going in panicky little circles and couldn't get anything coherent enough to use back to her. Natsumi inhaled deeply, trying to get her heart to settle down from _oh shit_ level of activity to _what the hell_. "Are you sure? I mean… I'm a kunoichi, my head hasn't been okay since I was five here, and there are so many ways I can think of for this to go wrong."

_What about Shikamaru?_

"Yes, shinobi, don't care in the slightest, and we'll work it out."

"…you're telling Minato-kun, Sakumo-taicho, and Jiraiya-sensei."

"You're _mean_."

" _You're_ marrying me."

(ooo000ooo)

Minato stared at them, the ink still streaked across his face. "You know, sempai, when I told you to _bother someone else_ … I didn't mean for you to _go out and find a husband_."

The only thing Natsumi could do was shrug uselessly, still not too sure how they ended up here in this situation. "Two birds, meet one stone? It occupied some time, didn't it?"

Shikaku snickered.

" _Right_ …" Her fellow orphan switched targets, now staring down the no longer smirking shadow user. "Excuse us a moment, sempai. Shikaku and I need to have some words."

The assassin wordlessly turned and went back out the door, shutting it firmly behind her. Not interested in the least to hearing her kouhai threaten her fiancée's body parts and wellbeing if she wasn't treated right.

Well… that had gone well.

Now just taicho was left, sensei had to get back to the village first before he could be told.

Was she sure she wanted to do this? She could be wrong for the reason Shikaku picked up a bottle.

(ooo000ooo)

"You sure do get up to some interesting things when not training, Natsumi-chan."

The assassin shrank a little under Sakumo's raised eyebrows. "Sorry, taicho."

Eri whacked her husband on the arm with her free hand, the one not cradling Kakashi. "Hush you. Congratulations, Natsumi-chan!"

She couldn't help the small smile inching across her lips when the woman beamed at her happily. If there was anything the assassin was thankful for, it was that Eri hadn't been scared of her after seeing the aftermath of what she had done to other living people in order to defend her and her son that night. Natsumi had held worries to that effect the day she woke up after the attack, but the woman had hugged her, bloodstained clothing and all, and thanked her for protecting them.

Kami-sama bless hidden village civilians.

"Thanks, Eri-san."

Next to her, Shikaku was glaring at the older man for whatever reason. Had she missed something? Taicho looked satisfied, so that was possible.

"I'll talk to Shiki-sama about the marriage contracts." Sakumo finally grinned at the two of them, one canine peeking out from one side of his mouth. "Since I _am_ still your legal guardian."

 _Ooh_ … right. No wonder Shikaku hadn't argued telling the men of her life what he wanted from her even if it meant facing a protective Minato. Sneaky.

(ooo000ooo)

Mikoto peered at the assassin and the shadow user, who were talking to the six year old Nawaki about ninja specialties in the Senju clan compound. "Well, that's working out well."

"I think Shikaku-kun would have been the only one who wouldn't have gotten hung up about her past life, you know." Kushina nodded firmly, still smirking. "Besides, they both can now have those confusing conversations about theoretical things and war tactics on their own time."

Inoichi had his face firmly buried in his hands. "I'm claiming amnesia if anyone asks me, just so you both know."

Setting up one of his friends and his old genin teammate was probably the lowest point he could see using what the misplaced soldier taught him on her. He was still mostly sure Shikaku had seen through most of it himself, but the tactical genius had apparently seen something he wanted so the teen went along with Inoichi's arguments about what was probably best for Natsumi.

Scoffing at him, the Uzumaki flicked her hair over her shoulder and faced him. "You know Shikaku-kun wouldn't have been very happy with the civilian girl his parents were thinking about. And Natsumi-chan probably never would have gotten around to finding someone with all her work between Sakumo-sama and ANBU, if that's kinda the same thing that happened in her last life. This way they both are happy."

" _Can_ a Yamanaka get amnesia?" The Uchiha genjutsu specialist mused aloud, tapping her lips with the pads of her fingers. "I always thought your clan was mostly immune to those kinds of things."

The heir of the mind walker clan drew himself upright, glowering at the two kunoichi. "I have nothing to say to that, and I'm going over there next to Chouza-kun now."

Mikoto smiled as Kushina finally burst into the giggles she had been holding back since the arrangement between the Nara clan and Hatake clan, on Mesuji Natsumi's behalf, had been announced. "I still have no clue how you got him to help us."

Her best friend sobered up enough to give her a serious look for a whole moment. "Like Natsumi-chan says, blackmail is such a wonderful thing. Did you know Inoichi is seeing a girl from Intelligence? Ran- something, I think."

\V/

Jiraiya came back to the village one year after he left, to check in with his Hokage and his students before going back out. The Toad Sage was more than a little bemused at the changes that had happened since he had been gone.

Four month old Kakashi was seated in Natsumi's lap, trying to see if the rubber kunai his father had given him would break skin if he stabbed hard enough with it. The assassin was pretty sure she would be getting a bruise right there when the near toddler stopped.

"And the assassins?"

"Iwa. Taicho's not at all happy with anything coming out of Earth Country at the moment."

Humming his understanding, the sannin eyed the almost toddler in her lap. "So when did this happen?"

"While we were out in Suna for the chūnin exams." Natsumi gave her sensei a lopsided smirk. "Taicho knocked up his girlfriend. It really was something I was more expecting to hear about you, sensei."

Jiraiya scoffed, puffing himself upright. " _I_ don't make that kind of mistake, neko-chan."

"You mean you haven't… _yet_." The assassin quickly pointed at the baby. "Kashi-chan's here, can't hit me."

Kakashi obligingly giggled to himself, giving up on drawing blood for the moment and sticking the ring end of the kunai into his mouth to gum. The Toad Sage rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. "Who made that one up?"

"I did." Eri shot the white haired man a look from the hallway. "Who is this, Natsumi-chan?"

"Jiraiya of the Sannin, Eri-san. He's taicho's friend and my old sensei." The assassin ignored the protest of being called old from the man, grinning up at the woman who married her old ANBU captain. "Are you done shopping?"

Having already known the teenager her husband taught swordsmanship to wouldn't let anything that could harm either her or her son into the house without blood being shed, Eri simply nodded when she put together the white haired pervert she had heard a bit about already and one third of the _Densetsu_ _no_ _Sannin_. "Would either of you like some tea?"

"I won't be staying for long, miss. So no, thank you." The Toad Sage eyed the woman as she left the two of them with the baby. "I can see why Sakumo went for her. Indomitable, isn't she?"

Natsumi made a rude sound in her sensei's direction. "She was fine with me killing two of those Iwa idiots the night they tried to kill her and Kashi-chan. There isn't much I've seen so far that throws Eri-san off her stride."

He shot her a look, smirking finally and changing the subject. "So, I've heard a little about you as well, neko-chan. A little whisper about a ghost eyed assassin in a cat mask going around Moss Country?"

Natsumi groaned and slumped, taking one hand that had been bracing Kakashi upright to cover her eyes. "Those rumors are still going? I swear, I'm going to find whoever started them and give him an _Avenging Ancestor_ to worry about."

"I hear the first few versions out between the Lands of Tea and Rain, but the subject matter has changed a bit from the first sightings before I started heading back." Jiraiya snickered, running a hand over his jaw at the teen-woman's predicament. "I don't think you have much to worry about, as long as you keep yourself from being seen again. But still, you have to admit it's appropriate."

"That's what Minato-kun said about it, too. The two of you think so alike sometime that it's scary."

The Toad Sage was _now_ currently in Ame teaching three more orphans? Good to know.

"Alright, one more question and I'll go find where my wayward apprentice is hiding out." Jiraiya drew his copy of her marriage contract out of his bag. "Sakumo sent this to me by his Summons. You sure about this, Natsumi-chan? Nothing says you have to get married anytime soon."

The assassin smirked faintly at the papers. "I can't stand the larger clans and the way they nose into everything, despite what Fugaku-sama assumed I'd be doing once I was old enough. This is… comfortable, I think is the word I want. Shikaku-kun and I have known each other for a long while, and the Naras aren't as fussy as the more combat oriented shinobi clans."

As a matter of fact, the Nara clan was as excited to have her as anything else they ever got excited about.

Fugaku had gotten her comprehension speed tested against an Uchiha's sharingan once, when they were more than a little stumped on her jutsu method and just a little bored trying to find something else to look in to. It apparently was something a lot of the R&D ninja did when at loose ends, according to Orochimaru. She had barely passed the first test and failed the second when shown pictures and having to identify where what object was in them, by keeping up with a sixteen year old chūnin MP with the first level of the sharingan active then when the eye was in the second stage, but the fact of the matter was _she had passed without the bloodline_.

The Naras figured that with her comprehension speed and Shikaku's tactical intelligence, the next generation wouldn't be able to go wrong. Natsumi wasn't so sure about that, but she had been forced to accept some things were not turning out as she thought they might so she was now going along with that. But she was sure the comprehension was from another life of watching for enemy movement or acquiring targets in fast moving vehicles, and not something she would be able to pass onto any kid they might have.

Nervous about how the next generation was going to turn out, yes. _What was going to happen to Shikamaru?_ Uneasy about getting married, no.

It was _Shikaku_ after all.

The Hyūga and Uchiha clan might be slightly annoyed with her for the moment, and she hadn't known being friends with the head of one and the heir of another made you a common topic of discussion and speculation before, but Fugaku had gotten over himself to congratulate Shikaku last week and the twins had been mostly accepting of her decision from the start.

Seriously though, she thought it was a little creepy that elders she had maybe meet a few times had been talking about her possible dating life. Finding out Kushina was another much talked about kunoichi had been hilarious, though. The red head still went beet red when anyone brought up the Uchiha elders. Minato also had his own admirers in every clan, much to his own dismay. The evening she told him about it he had repeatedly hit his table with his forehead muttering about fan girls.

She and Minato were more acceptable to the larger clans because they were orphans and shinobi, a kind of fresh blood and new talent for the larger clans that encouraged keeping bloodlines within the clan. While the elders of the clans wouldn't really care for civilian born ninjas, because then they would have to deal with their civilian families, orphan shinobi were still the favored picks if you had to marry outside a clan.

Fugaku had wanted to add her comprehension to the Uchihas' sharingan, but he forgot to inform her of that. Not that Natsumi ever saw herself in one of the noble clans in the near or far future, they had more rules and regulations about how to dress and how to act than she really wanted to think about.

Trust the Toad Sage to play devil's advocate. "Comfortable? That's not really what you should be looking for in someone you'll spend the rest of your life…"

Jiraiya trailed off at her raised eyebrow, grimacing to show he realized what she was hinting at with the nonverbal clues about how exactly her life had gone by once already. Eri was listening in, after all. You didn't spend a lot of time with ninjas without learning to be a little sneaky yourself just to keep up.

He leveled a finger in her face and wiggled it admonishingly. "We'll continue this later then, neko-chan. Tell your taicho I'll be here for… uh, Eri-san?"

The woman bustled back into the room with a tea tray, smiling broadly at the three of them. "Yes, Jiraiya-sama?"

"Just Jiraiya, please. Would you mind if I came back for dinner?" The white haired man scratched the back of his head, getting used to the idea of one of his good friends being married and with a son.

"Of course you can come for dinner. Should I find where Natsumi-chan hid the sake as well?" Eri was still smiling, but it looked more like a smirk if you tilted your head to the side and squinted.

At the sannin's incredulous look, the assassin shrugged. "It's still in the cupboard, Eri-san. I just put it under a minor illusion that made taicho think it was baby powder."

"So that's why he never remembers to get any."

(ooo000ooo)

"You realize you don't _have_ to do this marriage thing, right?"

"You realize you've asked that three times now, right sensei?"

Jiraiya huffed and rolled his eyes at her, grumbling under his breath about stubborn cats and biological clocks. The two of them were waiting on Minato, who had taken the reappearance of their old sensei and his fūinjutsu master with as much excitement as the assassin had ever seen out of her kouhai their entire lives so far.

Well, his anyways.

The blond future Yondaime had insisted the both of them go to the team's old training field, while he fetched Kushina and set up to show them something he had been working on. So the two of them were sitting under a tree in Training Ground Three, talking about the same topic they had been on since they left the Hatake clan compound.

"Do… do you think it's a bad idea?" Natsumi asked slowly, trying to place her feelings about the older looking man's seeming concern over her impending marriage. "I know you haven't really had the time to get to know me when you taught me for half a year and have been out of the village for a full one right after… but I still do want to hear what you think about this, sensei."

The Toad Sage shot the teenager-woman a sideways look, once she didn't see because the assassin was staring off into space with a furrowed brow. The man hummed lowly, sorting his thoughts out and the impressions he had taken of her.

"I think it may not matter in a few years, you'll come to like the Nara gaki just fine. I'm just concerned you're jumping the bit too fast, neko-chan Why not look around for a year or so before agreeing?"

"So, you have commitment issues. Nice to know." Natsumi laughed as the man spluttered out a series of choked coughs. "We've got until we both make tokubetsu jōnin to decide if we're staying and tying the knot or breaking it off. There's wiggle room, sensei."

Not entirely surprised when the ANBU dodged the swipe at her head, the sannin settled back against his tree with a scowl aimed at her cheeky grin. "Fine. If you know what you're doing I'll sign the contract for you. Neko no gaki."

The assassin's grin faded, turning into a softer smile. "Thanks."

Jiraiya snorted, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "For what? A bit of ink on some paper? You need your head checked, neko-chan."

"I've needed that checked out for _years_ , sensei, but the last time I did so I accidently threw Inoichi-kun out of my head with a _nasty_ memory of what being gutted feels like. I'll skate by with how I am, thanks."

"I'll give you that." They sat in silence for a while, both thinking just what kind of damage the misplaced soldier might have in her head. "Why did Minato-kun want you out here, anyways? I didn't know you were interested in fūinjutsu."

_Interested isn't the word I would use, sensei._

"I'm interested in Summoning Contracts, not the rest of it. So I know a bit." Natsumi quirked a smirk at the raised eyebrow. "I needed another goal after ANBU, sensei. So… Summoning Contracts."

"You trying for any animal clan in particular?"

"I think taicho wants to pass the Dogs on to his son, or I would have asked him." The assassin hummed, playing with a blade of grass as she thought. "I know I want something sort of like the Dogs, though. Something I can use when I get over my head, like when the Iwa assassins came after Eri-san and Kashi-chan. I could have used _something_ to fetch backup without alerting the last one going through the main floor, even if they weren't combat usable."

"Toads?"

"No offence, but _hell_ no. I think Minato-kun might kill me."

"Slugs?"

"Should go to a medic."

"Don't tell me you want the Snakes."

"One word, sensei. _Creepy_."

Laughing at that slight to his reclusive teammate, the man tried another few that were all shot down as either belonging to a clan already or another variation of the word creepy. The whisper whistle of something sharp and metal thrumming its way through air reached the both of them minutes into the exchange, and their heads snapped up just in time to see the missing blond appear and catch something in a flash of light.

Minato then promptly flailed in midair, losing his way and needing rescuing by the Toad Sage.

 _Hiraishin_. He had put together his Flying Thunder God technique while she had been off killing people and babysitting a baby. Damn blonds.

Jiraiya set his apprentice on the ground near Natsumi, checking over the blond for anything missing before getting irritated. "What the _hell_ was that?"

"Shunshin in a seal, sensei." Minato panted, one hand over his heart. "It's… a lot harder because you can't _see_ where you're going, but it's not only faster but _instant_."

"You're using the kunai I gave you for your birthday for it?"

Ah, history. Hello to you too.

The blond threw her a wide grin, still thrilled with the success of surprising the both of them. "Yep, with the seal wrapped around the handle, gives you a target to aim for when you activate it long range with a component chakra seal trigger. Doing it in midair is easier than trying to use a stationary target."

"Landing issues?" The assassin asked knowingly, it would explain the number of scuff marks and scratches her kouhai had been getting over the last couple of months. "If you're using a seal intended or like the one for teleportation between distances similar to a Summons Contract, how much of a problem is situating the area of summoning around a general target giving you? Is that why you're doing it in midair right now?"

Minato acquired a bit of a blush under his flush of success. "Not really similar to a Summons Contract but along the same lines, it's a space-time compression seal I had Kushina-chan check out with me before any testing on my end, styled after one like sensei uses. It basically removes the space between you and the seal, if you're the one to arm it. But kinda on the landings. I think it's more an orientation problem than location or trajectory. I was hoping I could use you as a test subject, sempai. To see if it's a comprehension fix, reaction time, or just one flaw you needed to get used to."

"I see you know more than just a bit, Natsumi-chan." Jiraiya interjected archly, causing both of his students to blush. "Let me look at that seal, Minato-kun."

The blond handed over the three pronged kunai, still unable to rid himself of his grin. The assassin thought that was fair, he must have been working on it the entire time the Toad Sage had been gone from the village. She wondered how much of his time she had wasted by sitting on his couch and verbally poking him.

The sannin eventually handed it back, first the metal kunai then the seal paper, shaking his head exasperatedly at the both of them. "The stuff you gakis get up to when I'm gone. Next you'll tell me Inoichi-kun has been selected to be the next Hokage."

Natsumi coughed into her hand. "We thought you knew, sensei."

At the man's gaping expression, her kouhai started snickering. "No, Inoichi-kun's not taking over the village, sensei."

"He's doing a hostile takeover T&I, actually." The assassin finished for him with a nod.

Jiraiya blinked, expecting a rebuttal that didn't come from his other student because it was technically true. "What?"

Minato shot his sempai a look to get her to quiet down. "He's rewriting a lot of the interrogation manuals, sensei. There is no hostile takeover."

"Yet."

The blond opened his mouth, and then shut it. He couldn't disagree with that either given his fellow blond's temperament. "Yet."

The Toad Sage eyed the both of them. "I don't think I want to know."

"Wise man."

"Shut _up_ , sempai."

\V/

"So another half a year?"

"There about." Sakumo rubbed his jaw while the Toad Sage poured him another saucer of sake. He was still wondering where it had come from, he had been _sure_ Eri threw out what he had before the wedding. "I would like to keep her nearby until Kashi-chan can hide himself if anything happens, maybe a full year more. But Natsumi-chan doesn't have long left on her apprenticeship, and there is only so far I can stretch teaching her. She picks up on a lot of it just by watching me."

The white haired sannin sighed, looking up at the stars peeking out of the darkening sky. "I'm hoping to be out for another few years, but that doesn't sound likely from the rumblings I'm hearing coming from the other hidden villages. Tell neko-chan you want her around for that last half a year after she's done, I can guarantee you she'll stick around longer than that if you make it clear what you want."

"You can, huh?"

"Hey, she was my student."

"She's my subordinate."

"So true." Jiraiya hummed, giving his friend a sideways look. "How are you feeling, about the attempt on your wife?"

"Pissed. But I'm sure Natsumi-chan told you that." Sakumo gave his friend a half-hearted glare, who didn't even had the grace to look sheepish. "It's just… if she hadn't _been_ there that night, Eri might not be alive. Kakashi too. I mean, they almost got _her_ just before trying to kill my wife. Did a number on her hair, though, even if she ducked in time."

"Natsumi-chan doesn't care about her hair, Sakumo. I asked her about it, and she said she had been thinking of a cut, anyways."

"Damn odd kunoichi, that one."

Jiraiya snorted, thinking of how right his friend was without knowing the half of it. "Odd maybe… but a damn good one."

"That," the silver haired man raised his saucer in salute, "goes without saying."


	5. Of Fūinjutsu and Oversights

_If you see something as blue, how do you know that specific color is what another sees at the same time as you?_

_Maybe in what you see as blue another sees what you would have perceived as green in with their eyes. It would account for some of the fashion ideas that have become popular lately._

* * *

Minato handed her one of his kunai with a grin. He had already show her how it worked and walked her through the process a few times, all that was left was a field test to troubleshoot the issues he was having with the seal array.

Natsumi took it, weighing it in her hand to get a feel for both the weight of the metal and how much chakra this phase of testing was going to need. The seal was wrapped around the handle in place of the leather that usually was used there, and the assassin made a mental note to get her kouhai some bleached vellum to replace the expensive paper. This bit of fūinjutsu seemed to only need a little chakra, depending on how much you pushed into it the kunai would summon you to it only when it hit the very end of that amount you armed it with.

In the one Minato gave Kakashi just after the then teenager's jōnin promotion, there must have been a trigger component set to trip a chakra storage secondary seal when it was thrown with chakra assisted muscles and some of that energy leaked into the seal and tripped it. Unless he completely changed the layout of the hiraishin seal between now and then, which was just as likely as keeping a working seal and improving it. From what seal work Minato had shown her, Kushina, and Jiraiya last night, there would be space to work temporary versions in when the blond fourteen-year-old refined his seal a little and possibly comprehensive ones if refined further than that, but the seal was still a crude approximation of what he intended it for.

It would probably undergo a lot of revision before Minato ever used it in a fight.

Checking the training grounds they were at to make sure she both knew where she wanted to go and that the way was clear, Natsumi nodded her readiness to Jiraiya and the few others gathered to watch the test of Minato's seal, and then threw the three pronged kunai in an arched trajectory high overhead.

The misplaced soldier had barely a breath to wait before the seal activated in midair, pulling her to it like a lodestone with whiplash force in the blink of an eye. Snatching the kunai now suddenly with reach of her hand, she threw it a few more times to test her orientation upon arrival before throwing it back behind her to where she assumed Minato was still standing in her mental map of the training field. The second jerk of her reality wasn't any better than the first nor were the consecutive flashes of scenery any easier to get used to, and she would have some skinned knees from the slide upon landing near where she started.

Dizzily Natsumi gasped for breath, staggering in a half circle and she latched onto her kouhai when he came into her shaky view for the questionable stability he gave her world. "That's freaking _awesome_."

"Sometimes I worry about you, sempai." Minato worriedly eyed her lopsided grin, guiding her to sit down under a tree for support. "We only needed a test or two, not _five in a row_."

Somehow Tsunade was right there next to the blond seal user, running glowing green hands over her chest and head. The black spots in her vision cleared until she could see the worried frown on the woman's face, and the fuzz that had been in her head and confusing her thoughts disappeared.

"Asphyxia, right now she's just light headed. Natsumi-chan mustn't have been breathing for a short while even with the burst of high activity taking place, and didn't anticipate it to keep it from occurring before jumping in with both feet."

"Couple of problems I can see so far, kouhai." Natsumi got out between deep breaths, taking steps to bring her blood-oxygen levels up and get rid of the prickle feeling in her fingers and toes. "Breathing, one. If you try to use it more than once you're going to need a good idea of where you are before tossing one again, two. Three, something in the summoning part needs refinement or you'll end up with some serious stress injuries later on. It's a bit overpowered, you don't need that much force to summon yourself through chakra, apparently."

"I can agree with that, you've nearly pulled a few tendons away from the bone, little shadow girl." The Slug Princess growled at them, still scowling at how the teenage kunoichi had risked herself even if she admitted the test idea was a good one and attended as the emergency medic on hand. "Nothing active from you for the rest of the day after I heal it, and come back and see me before tying anything else tomorrow. Medic's orders."

Natsumi just gave the medical prodigy turned sannin a limp wave, not intending to move at all for the rest of the day anyways. "Cool. I plan on napping the day away then."

Jiraiya checked his female teammate's expression before nodding to his old female student. "Good work, Natsumi-chan. Minato-kun, you'll have to test it again after I leave, but try to work on those points before you do."

Her kouhai nodded firmly, blinking when the blonde sannin pointed a finger in his face before he could twitch farther than that. "But first I'm checking you out too, Blondie. If you've done the same crap without proper supervision you've probably got the same problems. Same thing as Natsumi-chan if so, nothing for the rest of the day and come back to be checked out before continuing this hair brained scheme."

Natsumi's attention was distracted from the two of the three actual blondes in her life when Sakumo's heavy hand landed on her head. "You feeling okay, neko-chan?"

"Mmm, dizzy. And tired, taicho. But I think that's from the healing." The assassin peered up at him through his long fingers. "Can I go home, or does Tsunade-sama want me supervised?"

"You're good to go home, Natsumi-chan." The busty blonde woman caught the last of her comment after threatening Minato with dire consequences for trying anything like this on his own again. "If you're that worried though, you can either sit with her or stick her fiancée with her until she falls asleep, Sakumo-sama."

"I think I'll stick with her anyways, Tsunade-sama." Shikaku hauled the still woozy kunoichi upright, frowning at how much she had to lean on him just to stay upright. "Cause I don't think I'd trust her to walk in a straight line at the moment."

"Bull." Snorted the assassin as she let herself slump into the teen behind her. Why the hell was she standing, anyways? There was a perfectly good tree right there. "You just want into my bed, admit it."

Humming, the Nara heir tried to keep the smirk from pulling his lips up and failed spectacularly. "Maybe."

Minato slapped his hands over his ears and glared at them both, turning slightly green around the edges. "I don't need to _know_ that!"

His voice was kinda funny when it cracked with puberty. Unfortunately, Natsumi only heard it crack when she made him uncomfortable.

Jiraiya became the target of one suddenly pissed Slug Princess' ire, and Sakumo inched away from his paling friend while trying to look innocent of anything smacking of blame, since he had never done anything about the kunoichi's _odd_ sense of humor either.

For some reason she was perfectly well mannered near his wife and son, just not anywhere else.

"I see why you do it, _that's_ funny." Shikaku quietly laughed into her ear, gently tugging her away from the mostly clear training field and to where the worn forest path lay. "Not so much when you're the target."

There were not many of those forest paths in Konoha's outer reaches, since the farther training fields were intended for chūnin or high level ninja for training exercise that might last days and they rarely needed a path to find them or get out. The few there were twisted around the more commonly used training fields to help guide exhausted young shinobi back to the main parts of the village without risking the embarrassing event of walking straight into an ongoing training exercise.

"Alas, you've caught onto my terrible, horrible secret." Snarked Natsumi as she tried to concentrate on putting one foot before the other. "Now I have to either kill you or turn you to the dark side. Chose, Shikaku. Your life may depend on it."

The teenage shadow user laughed at his fiancée, sweeping the assassin up in a bridal hold when she tripped over her feet again. "Dark side it is. Hold on, Natsumi."

"I can _walk_ , damn it! Put me _down!_ "

"You'll take _forever_ like this. I want that nap."

(ooo000ooo)

"So you're thinking just reflexes once he fixes the seal?"

"It has to be." Natsumi told the white haired sannin and her blond fellow chūnin the next day. "I could keep up with _where_ I was just fine when the movement stopped. The force behind the space-time compression between the kunai and my original starting position was snapping my head around, causing an effect like whiplash, and was probably why Minato-kun couldn't orientate himself without my comprehension behind him. Kami-sama knows the gaki's smarter than me, so it really is looking like something that he can change in the seal to solve the worst of. Without a forceful arrival, he should be able to adapt to the new position almost or just as fast as I can."

Besides, Minato had been the one to do this by himself in a story she once read. It had to be something the blond could either fix or improve himself.

"So reduce the power going to the seal, or limit the draw." The blond now mused aloud, looking over the full hiraishin seal he had made spread out between the three of them.

Natsumi thought sealing was like a pictographic computer language, honestly. You had some words that made no grammatical sense in a sequence, but cause the major process of the program to be completed as needed and trying a better or more descriptive word would just screw everything up… and there wasn't a screen to show you that you fucked up, seals just tended to explode if done wrong.

Minato had more than a few sequences in his seal she couldn't understand, so she wouldn't be making actual suggestions on how he could fix it all. She had not been a programmer in her last life, she had only known enough to tell if her computer needed professional help on occasion. Fūinjutsu was beautiful to look at, the drawn seals that could blow up in your face or suck something placed on it into nothing for storage were almost works of art to the ninja world, but it was harder to do than the stark looking programming she could only blearily recall learning in her first childhood.

"You could also try improving your reflex speed now." The assassin offered, slightly upset at herself for not knowing enough to help her kouhai puzzle out the problem. She had done most of her study into fūinjutsu on her own, not really wanting to be known to have sealing skills and having no intent on infringing on Kushina's and Minato's area of expertise. "And comprehension can be trained too. One's dodge training and the other is recall, but I can help you out with both."

"Stop it, sempai." Her stupid, and apparently empathetic, blond kouhai had apparently picked up on her frustration at herself, pinning her still from across his table with a level stare. "You hadn't been all that thrilled when you started learning fūinjutsu, you only did it to help me learn it at first. I'm not expecting you to help me solve every little problem I won't go to Kushina-chan for. I should be thanking you for experiencing whiplash for me."

Natsumi really didn't have much to say to that other than _damn blonds_. "You're welcome… I think."

\V/

Jiraiya left the village the day after he had tested out his fūinjutsu student's seal on his old genin kunoichi student, once Tsunade cleared both of them on the medical side.

The heavy hands that landed on their heads were expected, the chunk of advice was the surprising part. "If either of you really want a Summons Contract in the near future, build up your chakra stores as much as you can. At the moment, neither of you would be able to summon anything bigger than your fist."

Natsumi and Minato blinked at each other in the medical room the Slug Princess had checked them out in before looking back to the white haired sannin.

The assassin knew she had rather large stores of chakra for an average kunoichi, but not near enough to match the male ninjas of her years. She _had_ thought her kouhai was already good enough to try learning to summon something, though. "How do you do that, sensei? I though the amount you could use only increased with age."

Jiraiya sank to his heels, bringing himself eye level with both of his teenage students. Even if the male fourteen-year-old one was starting to grow taller than his female fifteen-year-old one.

"True, but that's mostly a result from using your chakra a little every day even when not on mission or working on a jutsu, and only partially a result of your growing stretching the chakra system out. Your stores do expand with growth, but not anywhere near as fast as it can if you work on it. You can accelerate the process by emptying your stores every night before you go to sleep, your body will then finish refilling those stores around noon the next day and then you'll use them up again that night, stretching them out bit by bit. It's what the Hyūga and Uchiha clans do for their gakis before sending them to the academy, and why they seem so damn perfect there. There is a cap, you can only go so far before you threaten to collapse your systems from the stress. You can also only do this before you hit your full adult size, because your chakra systems are still flexible enough for it without retaining any damage from the attempt. If you keep getting checked out by Tsunade-hime while you do it you both will be fine in the long run, and by the time I come back next year you should be almost ready to sign on a contract even if you don't end up having the reserves to summon in battle."

The theory was similar to the idea Natsumi had behind Minato's Dead Reaper Seal that contained the nine-tails in his son. If exposed to more and more chakra leaking into his system from the conversion seal, Naruto would be able to use more and more of it at one time since his Uzumaki vitality boosted by Kurama would probably stretch to cover that kind of damage.

Kami-sama knows she had no idea how else the blond brat could had survived a lot of his injuries even with Uzumaki healing keeping him from instantly dying from bleeding out. It was also the only possibly on _how_ the brat could use a chakra intensive kinjutsu like Shadow Clones at genin, having that done every day since just after birth through his entire life. Even she couldn't do hers more than five or so times a day before feeling the drain of chakra exhaustion nag at her.

Additionally, _wow_ was that a nasty feeling.

Also, _wow_ were shinobi clans _assholes_ for that. Most clan kids were held up as shining examples in the academy that the civilian born ninjas in training and orphaned would be shinobi were expected to follow. That was probably also why Chouza and Inoichi had looked so surprised the first time she had beaten them on the taijutsu practice field back when they had been eight.

Those without clans were working on one heavy handicap going to the academy cold, not knowing how to fight or use their chakra. That could account for a lot of the disdain between clan children and the rest of the academy students because _of course_ the clan raised students would be better, they had the help their whole lives that the civilian kids were only just then getting.

Natsumi hadn't noticed anything more than the general feelings to the kids she had started hanging out with because… well, she didn't _care_ what the other kunoichi had thought. The clan brats had been the only ones really trying to prepare themselves for the shinobi life, so that's where she went when Minato pulled her out of her head.

The obvious problem of doing it now was where the assassin's mind went after thinking about how most clans in Konoha were dicks. "Missions will be harder if we do that."

"I'll put a note in your files that you're doing this, and for the time being you'll be inactive on the mission rosters every other month. It's not really done often, but it's not looked down on either as long as the village can miss you for a while and not scramble to cover your field of expertise. You're excused from missions when your sensei or master lets you attempt this exercise for however long, and since assassins or fūinjutsu users are not that high in demand at the moment I don't see anyone complaining about reducing the number of specialist available on opposing months."

"True, I haven't seen any ANBU work since that string of low ranked targets a couple of months ago." Natsumi frowned, thinking back to the last time she had worn her armor and wondering if she needed it resized again. Damn her growing limbs and dimensions… on second thought, she just wanted to finish growing already. She was tired of being short. "Will taicho mind?"

The Toad Sage suddenly coughed, snickering a bit once he got control of his breathing. "Sakumo won't mind. You'll have to stick with him until you're done, but you both will have more chakra to throw around in the middle of a fight later on."

"Did you do this, sensei?" Minato asked before his sempai could ask why the man was laughing. Sometimes it was better _not_ to know with the two of them.

"On and off every other couple months for a few years after we were given to Hiruzen-sensei to teach. He couldn't let us do it all at the same time or for very long, but it is part of the reason me and the rest of my team have so much to work with." The man straightened up, patting both on the head again. "I'll test you both out to see how you're doing on it when I come back, but for now I'm going to check in with Inoichi-kun again before I leave."

The blond watched their genin sensei walk out the door with a backwards wave before turning to the dark haired teen sitting on the medical cot opposite of his. "Do you want to try, sempai?"

Natsumi hummed to herself, thinking through all the pros and cons and frowning only briefly when her own voice cracked on her. She turned to face Minato after clearing her throat. "More chakra does seem like a good thing for later on, but have you ever experienced chakra exhaustion, kouhai? I have, and that's kind of like suddenly getting the flu and starving at the same time. This is sounding like we're going to be hitting that feeling before calling it a day for a whole _year_. You're going to need someone to watch you the first few weeks if you attempt this."

She theorized chakra exhaustion felt like the flu because you lost that much spiritual energy and the starvation feeling was the lack of physical energy. It was still nasty to go through, and she had hit that limit more than a few times learning and relearning how to keep a hold of her chakra control and contain the extra Yin energy at the same time. She never had to feel what depletion was like, neither Jiraiya nor Sakumo would've ever let a student or subordinate go through that risk since you could die of depletion if you weren't insanely careful about how far you went.

It was a cause of death in ninja because once you were completely out of chakra, you were also out of what kept you _alive_ here.

"Why are we not finding a watcher for you?"

" _I've_ got Shikaku, and I don't think you want to listen to that."

Minato blanched, hurriedly waving his hands in dismissal of that idea. "That's okay. I'll ask Inoichi-kun."

Natsumi snickered at his pale expression. "We should also keep up with sparring with the others, seeing as this is going to wipe us out of the active mission roster for long stretches at a time. I'd hate to go back to active duty and find out what I did wasn't enough to make at least tokubetsu jōnin."

\V/

Despite what any of the others thought they might get up to, she and Shikaku really only played tactical games or read scrolls when left alone for any decent amount of time. Though Natsumi thought that the fact the Nara was now playing along with her jokes was another level of awesome altogether.

"Check."

"Damn."

Although she was really starting to regret teaching her intended husband how to play chess now. "I give. There's nothing I can do with three pawns and a king."

"I only have my bishops and another knight to up your collection."

"Yeah… _twice_ the number of pieces I've got left, Shikaku. _And_ I'm getting boxed in. I call your checkmate in five moves." Natsumi tipped her king over, shrugging back into the blanket she snagged off her bed and wrapped around herself to stave off the shivers. "I don't know why I let my kouhai talk me into this crap, I already _knew_ it was going to massively _suck_."

It wasn't quite late enough to go to sleep, but there was not nearly enough time left in the day to do anything else remotely interesting after making herself sick with chakra exhaustion.

Minato was out on a mission right now, and they would swap who was mission ready and who was attempting Jiraiya's chakra expanding exercise next month when he got back, but she wanted to bitch at him for the queasy feeling she was going through _now_ , damn it.

"I thought you wanted a Summons Contract… and Jiraiya-sama did tell you to do it." The Nara deftly slotted the pieces still on the board between his fingers to clear up Natsumi's small dinner table.

The assassin had carved the pieces from oak and ebony wood between missions in ANBU before the Second War had ended, and bought a plank of elm wood to make the board out of back when she had been first teaching him the game. It was still a little rough, some of the pieces needed to be finished and sealed with lacquer still, but Shikaku did want to ask her to make a shogi board and pieces when she was done with this set. Maybe even a Chinese checkers board, it sounded interesting with up to six players able to play at the same time.

"Nothing said I couldn't get one later, like when I didn't have to go through this crud daily."

"They're still up there in chakra requirements, like kinjutsus."

"And I can do a kinjutsu." Shikaku gave her a _look_ , and Natsumi huffed. "Okay, not a chakra intensive one nor a good number of times in the same day, but _still_."

Snorting a laugh, the Nara changed the subject knowing she was really only complaining to complain. "Where did you learn to carve?"

"My tou-san in my last life. He taught me that and a few other pieces of woodcraft before he passed away when I reached sixteen." Natsumi shut her light green eye, inspecting the pieces in her intended's calloused hands. "He wouldn't have been very happy with those, mostly because I haven't _finished_ them yet. Another thing I've been meaning to get to."

"And you kept up with it your whole life?"

"You think the amount of down time we have now between missions is unreal? You should've seen the time we wasted back then between one objective and another." Slouching to stretch out her legs, the assassin finally admitted defeat to herself and got up to retreat to her couch to lay down and either try to wait out her headache or fall asleep. "We had a saying about day to day life when deployed or in the barracks at home. Hurry up and _wait_. I just… sometimes carved between waiting and working if I had nothing else to do with any of the others."

Since there wasn't any conflict going on that needed an active shinobi army the size of Konohagakure's wartime available manpower, there was a lot of ninjas at loose ends with nothing really going on that needed their attention in or outside the village. There had been a year of spying intensive missions and the like after the Second Great Shinobi War ended and most were paranoid that some village or another wouldn't keep to the non-aggression treaties, but even that tricked down until a shinobi between A to C-rank were averaging _maybe_ a week long mission every two months and a lot of still paying but basically busywork missions between that.

There was still the normal amount of contracts Konoha had to deal with, the high paying assassinations and infiltrations down to caravan guarding and escort services for wealthy travelers, but those were not nearly enough to occupy the time of several ninjas that specialized in the required fields or could substitute if needed.

With a surplus of shinobi there were a lot of bored, not entirely right in the head, and obsessive ninjas inside the walls at any time. There were also a lot of training fields in use now, and some shinobi were even swapping teaching one another some skill to eat up time between missions. There was also a lot of the phrase 'get a hobby' going around the village, too.

Natsumi figured this was what it was going to be like after the Third Great War. There was supposed to be about a decade of it after before anything started happening from what she could think of, and she was already bored and trying to revive an old hobby of hers she had only dabbled with here between ANBU missions. Maybe she needed a new hobby?

The only good thing about surviving that if she did, and she was kinda hoping for that because her life was really interesting here, was going to be all the time she could use to mess with her friends.

Shikaku had an odd little smile on his face as he put the game board and pieces away in her already crammed bookcase. "I'll see you tomorrow, Natsumi."

"Night, Shikaku."

Now _why_ had he been smiling?

\V/

Hatake Eri was awesome. Natsumi knew that already, but the thought still needed reinforcing every now and again.

The wife of her taicho had no problems also maybe cooking for two nearly starving orphans and sometimes a redheaded jinchūriki every day as well as herself, son, and even sometimes her husband; something that the assassin had dreaded doing herself simply because of the grocery bill now that she and Minato were living mostly on the small amount of mission pay they got every other month.

Sakumo was high ranking enough to be still taking a good amount of missions even with the dip in available ones for the rest of the corps, and the man didn't care if she, the blond other orphan, or Kushina came by for lunch or dinner because that added another watcher or two to his home when he was out of the village handling whatever to support a wife and son.

Since there were not enough high paying missions coming in for the whole shinobi corps to survive just off the pay from them, Konoha started paying out a set amount per rank if you pulled less than a certain number of missions every month. It had been standard practice already and taken out of the village tax on all incoming missions contracted to them, as it was how the ninja of the Genin and Chūnin Corps were normally paid as well as the D-ranked community service missions, but this was the first time in Konoha's history that it needed to be stretched for some of the tokubetsu jōnin and full jōnin ranked ninjas.

It had been normally used to cover training accidents, injuries that made you unable to run a mission for money, when for whatever reason you were pulled from active duty by a superior, and it really only covered basic living expenses and a minimum diet. That was now responsible for the upswing in lower ranked shinobi looking for part time work to make ends meet in the longer empty time between missions. That pay was now mostly taken out of the commissions normally given to the ninjas doing high risk or intensive work and subsidized by the fees levied on traveling civilian merchants in return for shinobi escorts to and from where they were going, but the village needed more than that to keep up with paying the shinobi who couldn't do missions simply because there were none available for them to take.

There were rumors that the Daimyo of Fire Country would need to be contacted to keep the shadow military power in his country working and alive, but the Hokage didn't want to do that.

Fact of the matter was, without the Daimyo paying for Konohagakure no Sato to wage war on his country's behalf the treasury of the Village Hidden in the Leaves was starting to scrape rock bottom.

The core of the soldier in her was still amused over how much the paper pushers that gave the orders were running around like headless chickens. In reality, the pay situation wasn't as funny as Natsumi thought it was, but since this was the first time it looked like Konoha had some time to operate in peacetime the administrative core of the village were panicking over how to pay all the shadow warriors that looked to them for orders and guidance with the peacetime dip in high risk missions happening. She might know there would eventually be a working method hit upon, because the village had still been standing a war and ten years of peace later, but no one else did.

Really, the people tasked with figuring out how to support that much available manpower without the usual resources for it were worrying over very little, because you didn't raise and train soldiers to be as loyal as Konoha ninja were and then have them turn on you in a small amount of time for a problem you were already taking steps in trying to fix. It would take a few years of this before any shinobi would even start grumbling about how bad it was, and before that happened there would have to be several stupid mistakes made by the higher ups.

This village was allowed to make these kinds of oversights in the running logistics of a military controlled village, they really hadn't had to deal with this kind of thing before. It wouldn't have flown in her last life because that had been an army established for longer than two hundred years already between peace and war, and they _should_ know how to deal with it.

Now if it happens again in the next seven years or whenever the Third War was supposed to end, Natsumi would be getting kind of pissed at them.

She was just thankful that the apartments she, Minato, and Kushina were living in were subsidized by Konoha for the use of lower ranked ninjas without family support and they weren't paying rent on them, because that would have been even worse than just waiting the administrative money themed panic out… and for the frugal way of living her last life had impressed on her, because she still had a large lump from ANBU pay in the few banks Konoha had.

She had the same problem in her last life. What the hell was she going to do with all that?

Most of what she needed to live on was taken care of already, unlike a large chunk of the shinobi ranks who were trying to support families on their income, so she didn't really have use for it.

Natsumi _was_ chipping in some for the grocery bill Eri racked up cooking for them all, but that wasn't making much of a dent in what she had.

Both Minato and Kushina were a little annoyed with her, mostly because they still had to buy the instruments of fūinjutsu users in greater amounts than she did. Paper and ink did get expensive when you went through it as much as the two of them did since sealing was their main specialty.

That reminded her. Vellum.

The thin leather produced from calf skin would be almost as hellishly expensive as Minato's usual monthly paper bill, but would make a better grip for the hiraishin kunai than chakra absorbing seal paper. Didn't the brat have another birthday coming up again? Fifteen?

She was starting to feel old.

Natsumi blinked and looked over to the humming woman that married her old ANBU captain bouncing a silver haired almost toddler on her lap. "Eri-san? Are you going to need me for an hour or two? I've got an errand to run that I only just remembered."

"I think Kakashi-chan I can get by, though I wish you will return before evening to do the security seals I still can't understand."

Hey! Eri was _learning_ … she was getting good at this living with ninjas thing. "Kay. Minato-kun can help while I'm gone."

"Wait, I can what?"

The assassin almost tackled her bewildered kouhai off his chair with a brief hug before slapping the snickering Kushina on the back in farewell. "Can help. I'll be back eventually!"

(ooo000ooo)

"Can vellum be used for _what?_ "

"Fūinjutsu. Cause the paper I had in the little field test of my kouhai's was kind… eh, as a grip." Natsumi waggled a hand from side to side to show her intended husband how much she didn't like the seal paper Minato used to hold his seal onto the metal kunai. "And seriously, when it gets hit with rain, mud, and blood it's not going to be much of a grip but an inky mess. So I thought _leather grip_ , because that's standard for kunai, and then _hey, leather you can write on_ , and ended up wondering if vellum be used for fūinjutsu since the whole chakra infused ink on something once living might conflict when used to anchor a in use seal."

Shikaku blinked at her a few times, trying to see if he could recall any conversation between the fūinjutsu users about preferred surfaces. "I… don't know, actually."

The assassin pouted at him, not really surprised and expecting that kind of answer already. "Not much help, Shikaku. That's not how this is supposed to _work_ , damn it. You're supposed to know everything."

The shadow master smirked, shaking his head at her. "You know just fine there are things I don't know. Genius I may be, but all-knowing? Nope, sorry."

Natsumi sighed, sinking into a seat next to the teen working on tactical plans for something or another. "So now I need to test that gift idea out. Well… okay."

"You'll need Kushina-chan's help, too."

"Nope. I know some fūinjutsu. Mostly exploding and storage seals, but I know a few other things too."

"You do?" He sounded so surprised that the assassin had to laugh.

"Shikaku, I practically _live_ in Minato-kun's apartment when I've got nothing important or pressing to work on myself. Kami- _sama_ , Inoichi-kun was getting fed up listening to the two of us exchange ideas when we were genin. Genius my ass." Natsumi poked him in the side, smirking herself when he twitched. " _Why_ haven't you hear that bit about your own fiancée yet?"

"I generally take a nap when he goes on about those days." The Nara admitted frankly, shrugging. "Most of what he starts in on is how much of a pervert Jiraiya-sama is and I fall asleep between the time you all wasted near a hot spring in or out of the village and how girly his giggles are."

" _Well_ … he is, we did, and they are."

"And most of Konoha knows it already. They may not _expect_ the level of pervert the man is before meeting him, they'll be thinking one of the _sannin_ and get a white haired _letch_ instead, but it is generally well known if you need him to go to the woman's side of the onsen and listen for the girly giggling."

Snickering at her sensei's carefully crafted reputation getting that far, a cover for any spy was even better for them if it was actually based in common knowledge, the assassin picked herself up off the floor of the teen's bedroom. "Okay. I'll give you that. I'm off to the… mmm, Akimichi run leatherworkers to pick some vellum up. More than I had planned on, but still. I am expecting you tonight, right?"

The tactical genius hummed his confirmation, eyes and attention already straying back to his work in front of him.

 _Males_. First Minato and his hiraishin and now Shikaku and the tactics for the Shika-Ino-Cho team formation.

Yet again, _hello history_.

\V/

" _Damn_ did I miss _this_."

"Not our fault you actually got a mission out of the village, Mikoto-chan."

The Uchiha genjutsu specialist flapped a hand at her best kunoichi friend. "Shush, you. I'm _basking_."

Natsumi laughed, flicking some water on the other two. "Suna really doesn't see the appeal of an onsen, Kushina-hime. Might have something to do with the usual range of _hot_ and _hotter_ they have over there. And I'm not talking about their shinobi, cause you don't get to see much of that under their usual coverings unless you're _really_ unlucky."

The redheaded kunoichi pouted, flicking water back to the assassin. "You know what, hush you. I'm starting to feel jealous of the two of you."

"For _what_?" Mikoto asked archly, looking back at the jinchūriki. "The mission? There are not a lot of chūnin getting many these days, Kushina-chan."

"No, for being _engaged_." Kushina pouted even harder, something hard to take serious when you knew the fourteen-year-old kunoichi was a natural trickster. "I'm feeling lonely, especially when Natsumi-chan start cracking the jokes she learned from Jiraiya-sama."

The assassin didn't manage to contain her snort in time, and the red head pounced on it.

"I knew it! This is all _you_ , isn't it?" Kushina tried grabbing the ANBU, but Natsumi swiftly placed the Uchiha teen between her and the jinchūriki. "You're doing it just to see us all twitch!"

"Damn, I must be getting rusty." The ghost eyed, misplaced solider commented almost to herself. "First my fiancée and now you? Same terms, hime, come over to the dark side or _die_."

It was difficult for the other two kunoichi to take her seriously, because Natsumi couldn't do anything about the wicked smirk inching across her face.

Mikoto's own lips twitched. "The _dark_ side? Do we even want to know?" She answered her own rhetorical question a moment later, still eyeing the assassin's smirk. "On second thought, I don't want to know."

"Never! I shall oppose you and your dark side, Natsumi-chan." The widely grinning red head faced off with the teen-woman. "Prepare to fail."

Natsumi's eyebrow rose, incredulous. "I've got Shikaku."

The jinchūriki swore, crossing her arms under her chest. "Damn it. Well… I've got Mikoto-chan."

"Oh no you don't. I don't want to be a part of this… whatever it is."

Kushina pouted at her best friend. "Really? You're going to leave me to fight off Natsumi-chan's perverted jokes all on my lonesome? You're a mean friend, Mikoto-chan."

"Oh… is that what we're doing?"

"A little slow on the uptake today, aren't we?"

"Shut it, Natsumi-chan."

"You know, a lot of people have been telling me to shut up lately. I think I'm not going to just on principle."

"Okay," Kushina interjected and held up one hand, "back to the subject, ladies."

Natsumi blinked at her blankly, trying to recall what they had been talking about before this derailed subject matter. "What, Suna? Well… Suna shinobi, I think."

"No, we were on hot springs." Mikoto amended, frowning. "Erm, no… missions, maybe?"

"Oh kami-sama. Why do I hang out with the two of you?" Kushina groaned dramatically, covering her face with her hands to hide the smirk. " _No._ Engagements."

"Aww, hime. Are you feeling _lonely?_ " The assassin drew the jinchūriki into a hug, patting her on the back with a smirk. "Don't worry, there's always room for you in my bed."

She easily pushed the teen-woman off her and into the water, mock scowling at the hazy figure in the pool. "I asked for that, didn't I?"

"Yes, yes you did." Mikoto helped the assassin up out of the water, shaking her head at her best friend. "Why do you encourage her?"

"Did you _see_ how far Hiashi-san spat out his milk last year? That _was_ funny."

Natsumi snorted out the water in her nose, snickering the whole time. "Yeah, I almost got Shibi-san to do the same a few months after that. But he only shuddered a bit and turned green in the end, though on the other hand Tsume got her tea all over Kuromaru at the same time."

The nearly sixteen-year-old genjutsu specialist blinked at the two of them. "Oh. _Oh_ , I get it. But… _really_ Natsumi-chan? You were like _twelve_ or so when you started."

"And I was just assigned to Jiraiya-sensei. I had been perfectly well-behaved up… oh shut up, hime, my jokes were _not_ that bad in the academy." Natsumi took a moment to mock glare disdainfully at the fake gagging the jinchūriki was doing. "Okay, I'll maybe admit one or two were horrible but _anyways_ , I had been appropriate the whole time I was supposedly too young. Then I got my pervert of a sensei and went _Hey, ready-made excuse_."

Mikoto frowned, thinking back to those years and trying to place the misplaced soldier's mentality in her misleading physical age. "Why to us, though? We weren't old enough to realize they were jokes and not completely serious for at least another year, and then I just figured you liked seeing us react to that kind of thing."

"You're partially right. I will fully admit I am a sadistic individual and I thought it was hilarious to see you all choke on air when you realized what I said." The assassin shrugged easily with a smirk, leaning against the side of the hot spring. "And at first it was a lot more funny to see Tsunade-sama punch sensei through a wall or two, then it became something you all reacted to in the end. I mostly used it as a judge to how much I could do to others that didn't know me before hitting the inappropriate mark, but then I eventually realized even that was okay because everyone would just blame Jiraiya-sensei and not get irritated at me."

"You _bitch_." Kushina breathed out, an unholy glee lighting up her face. "You've been pranking the whole village!"

Natsumi waggled a finger just under the redhead's nose. "You don't have the excuse of being the Toad Sage's student, hime, so don't even think about it."

Mikoto buried her face in her hands, trying to not give in and giggle in a horrified fashion. "Back to topic, please. Before my head explodes trying to understand our resident fruitcake's motives and why exactly you want to copy it, Kushina-chan."

"Which topic? My perverted flavored sadism or Suna's ugly mugged ninjas?"

The Uchiha groaned, trying to hide or stop her laughter.

"Really, Natsumi-chan?" The physically older teen peered at the two of them from between her fingers. " _Kushina-chan's_ topic."

"Oh right, the one I was pushed into the water for." The woman in a teenager's body turned to the suddenly sheepish redhead. "Do you _want_ and arranged marriage? I mean, you have an opportunity not to deal with clans and clan elders, but we'll sell you like a two ryo whore if that's what you want."

The jinchūriki's mouth dropped open. The Uchiha teen stared. Natsumi started snickering.

"What? I never said I'd _stop_."

Kushina blinked a few times, trying to get over the fact the assassin had indirectly called her a whore, then grabbed her best friend's arm and led them both out of the water. "I think this calls for a tactical retreat, Mikoto-chan."

"Natsumi-chan's place?"

"Yep."

"Hey, why my place?"

"You can afford better tea than I can and _that_ was _awful_."

(ooo000ooo)

Mikoto eyed the assassin. "Why on the ceiling? And for that matter, _how_ is it your tea isn't spilling out when the teacup's upside down?"

"I'm exhausting my chakra supply every night this month. And chakra control is the answer for everything, apparently. Mine just loves water, which is why I'm also learning some suiton jutsus at the moment with my downtime." Natsumi took a sip of her hot tea, smirking down at the two below her. "Normally I have Shikaku watch me to make sure I don't go too far, but you two will do since he's not here yet."

"So glad we can help, Natsumi-chan." Kushina interjected wryly. "Now back to my problem?"

"The one where you want to get a hubby too and pop out some kids in the near future?" Suppressing the desire to laugh, although the jinchūriki's expression was funny the reincarnated soldier didn't think she would take well to that with the subject matter, Natsumi readjusted her folded legs into a more comfortable position and continued once she had control of herself. "There really are a few options open to you, hime, but for that small problem you seem to have that we've already talked about."

The Uchiha looked between the tea sipping assassin on the ceiling and the pale kunoichi next to her. "I thought we were already talking about _a_ problem, what other small problem is there?"

Natsumi shook her head at the pleading expression on Kushina's face. "I _can't_ , hime. The ways the laws are written, only you can."

All the kages that Konoha had so far had _known_ that the secret of who was the container for the Kyuubi would get out one way or another. Partly from human nature and partly from shinobi curiosity, the next jinchūriki might want to tell someone close to them and you don't dangle a secret under a ninja's nose and expect them to leave it alone.

Since honorable Hashirama-sama had actually been married to one, the first jinchūriki for Kurama the honorable Uzumaki Mito-sama, his brother had specifically written the laws after the First's death so that _only the current jinchūriki could tell others about demon containers_ without violating the security laws set around the secret unless you were being informed for state reasons, like telling the heirs of the clans, who it was.

It wasn't punishable by death to know _without_ being told, just so long as you kept it to yourself. Telling someone who didn't know when you were not the jinchūriki or a clan head talking to the heir was an offense that would end in your public execution for being a spy, even if you were an upstanding member of the shinobi corps or a respected civilian member of the village.

That law was the saving grace of Naruto's childhood when the Sandaime had been forced to admit the previous jinchūriki was deceased and the Yondaime had died resealing the demon into a baby to the village, because it had _already_ been illegal to tell any of the generation growing up with him _what_ he was. Sarutobi Hiruzen didn't have to face an uphill battle to put that law in place when he resumed office, he just had to deal with the headache when it was broken the first few times by the grieving villagers.

That didn't mean the disaffected civilians and lower ranking ninjas couldn't hint and nudge their kids into shunning the poor brat for indirectly killing their Fourth Hokage and holding back a demon that did smash through a large bit of Konoha and killed a number of others; but none of them in his generation had put it all together until Naruto had been on his way to being a great shinobi and they already knew him as that blond goofball but honestly nice guy off-duty.

For that reason alone, even though sparing the Whirlpool Princess the anxiety of telling her best friend was an attractive thought Natsumi wouldn't _ever_ break that law.

She wasn't much of a rule breaker to begin with, but there were a few she didn't mind ignoring on technicalities for her friends.

The assassin sipped her tea, watching Mikoto's reactions during the conversation and making sure the redhead wasn't worried for any real reason.

The Uchiha teen was shocked white for a few good moments, true, but she adjusted well.

Sort of.

"And here I thought Natsumi-chan was the only _unique_ one."

The named fifteen-year-old kunoichi; who had once been a twenty-seven-year-old soldier of another world and life entirely, had elected to become an assassin at age eleven here, and was currently drinking tea while sitting cross-legged on the ceiling to reach a drained feeling that no ninja ever liked experiencing; blinked a few times. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Mikoto wrinkled her nose up at the misplaced soldier, regaining her mental balance even as she drew the jinchūriki into a hug to show she didn't care about the contained demon problem. "Am I the only normal kunoichi in the room? Yes? I get to call you weird."

 _You're going to have two sons, one of who will wipe out your whole clan except for his little brother to keep a coup from happening by your clan and destroying Konoha from the inside. I think that qualifies for unique_.

Kushina laughed weakly. "You don't care about me? Why am I not weird?"

It was painfully pathetic, her attempt to joke at her own expense.

"Because you don't crack horrible, perverted jokes." The genjutsu specialist declared firmly, squeezing the younger kunoichi to give what unspoken reassurance she could. " _You_ are funny when pranking, _she's_ just a pervert in a teenager's body."

"Oi!"

Natsumi might have protested the good humored slight, but the jinchūriki finally started laughing. Tinged with hysteria, maybe, but it was the relieved sort of giggling that followed the realization that an issue turned insurmountable problem in their head hadn't been as bad as they thought in reality.

"I suppose that explains why you feel weird to my chakra senses." Mikoto mused out loud later, when Kushina could regain control of herself. "I always thought it was because of that clan vitality Natsumi-chan told me about."

"Mou, so now I'm weird?" The jinchūriki asked, sniffing slightly not from hurt feelings but from relief. "I see how much you love me, Mikoto-chan… but weird how?"

The Uchiha kunoichi hummed, trying to place a feeling that had no description into something she could convey to the other two. "Like… like the heat off a banked fire pit. You can see some embers contained inside, you can feel the warmth pouring out already, and you know there can be more depending on what happens, but until you finally poke it up you don't know how big the fire can really get."

Natsumi's eyebrow rose up, or rather down, impressed. As a kunoichi specializing illusion based genjutsus, Mikoto really did have a way with words when she wanted to.

The knock on her door cut off any more conversation, and the Uchiha teen answered it for the assassin still sitting on the ceiling. It really was a good thing the ghost eyed kunoichi had written her own privacy seals into her walls, or she would be getting paranoid about eavesdroppers around now.

Shikaku looked around at the company his fiancée was keeping, trying really hard not to let the smirk show on his face. "Hen's night in?"

"If that were so, why are you here? I'm _mostly_ sure you're supposed to be my husband in a year or so, not my wife."

Mikoto inhaled wrong when draining her teacup and bent over, coughing.

The Nara finally smirked and Kushina screeched with laughter, pointing at him in mock accusation. "Oh kami-sama, he _is_ in on _it!_ "

"Finally caught on, I see." Shikaku drawled out lazily. "Still beat you a fair few months."

Natsumi hummed her agreement, watching the Uchiha splutter below her. "So true."

Mikoto firmly placed her teacup down, trying hard not to let herself hack out a few more coughs. "We… should go. Thank you for the tea."

Trying vainly to maintain her dignity, the future Matron of the Uchiha clan stiffly grabbed the giggling mess Kushina was and dragged her out of the apartment.

Her fiancée eyed her position as the two of them let themselves out and shut the door behind them. "Interesting."

"Hey. What works, works." Natsumi tossed him her empty cup and got around to getting down.

\V/

Minato took the roll of vellum from his sempai, eyeing the thin leather curiously. "What's this?"

They were all in the Senju's compound, the blond fūinjutsu user's fifteenth birthday having come up on the same day most of them had free and used to meet up now since he flat out refused to have a party for it. The only ones missing were the future Shika-Ino-Cho team, since Konoha had finally figured out how to direct all that directionless manpower in the village into something useful.

C-ranked border patrols. Sarutobi Hiruzen had sold the idea of commissioning five teams of C to B ranked shinobi on a semi-permanent basis to guard Fire Country's border with the samurai already stationed there to their Daimyo, who had jumped on the idea and actually commissioned seven teams on month long rotating basis in the outposts and a few more for actual patrols between them.

It took a chunk of the then unused chūnin and tokubetsu jōnin out of the village, let up the pressure on the mission office ninjas to find the shinobi now tasked something to do something to actually do, and was bringing in a new source of revenue for the village and shinobi alike.

Natsumi figured they would be seeing a lot of those outposts in the near future, so it was a good thing the shinobi ranks were getting used to them now.

"This is vellum, a kind of leather you can ink a seal on and wrap around the kunai you're playing around with. This won't turn into an inky mess when you stab somebody, as well."

The blond's eyebrows shot up, inspecting the thin leather with a smile. "Damn, hadn't even thought of that. Thanks, sempai."

The assassin smiled at him, trying not to feel like she was sending her kouhai down a rocky path known for rockslides without a map.

Even if that was just what she had done in giving him the vellum.

Leather couldn't be used as is in fūinjutsu without a lot of prep work. Since it was a part of a living animal taken whole, it had fragments of the living energy remaining in it that all creatures had here. Vellum was just very thin leather taken from the skin of young animals, treated and stretched until it really was just like a kind of heavy paper.

Actual paper didn't have that problem, because it was shredded and turned into pulp before being bleached and pressed in screens to dry, destroying the faint traces of living energy it might have held before the tree was cut down. Stone and wood had minor versions of the same problem, it was more difficult to anchor a seal to wood than to stone because trees had more natural energy in it that rock did, but you could use both cold if needed with a margin of error.

Same with nearly any other media used for fūinjutsu, there was a slight margin that would interfere with the seal depending on the natural chakra in the surface used to anchor it.

Which was why using seals in battle were so difficult, you had to know just how much of your own chakra was needed to just barely overpower the natural energy in what you were sealing to do it on the fly like Jiraiya could without it failing to hold both the seal and your chakra and imploding.

Kushina couldn't do it, she had premade tags she used if she needed her fūinjutsu skills on mission because she was more likely to force too much charka into a surface and cause it to explode on her.

 _Minato_ could use ink solely as a weapon, as long as he had worked the natural energy of a surface out once himself. His excellent mind for facts and details let him recall everything he needed to know in an instant and compensate for actual seals to be used, not just explosions.

There was a way to make _paper_ immune to _water_ , but the seal for it was way too large and complicated for something her kouhai was adding another seal or three to and wrapping around the hilt of what was for all intents and purposes a throwing dagger the size of a trench knife. Vellum was already waterproofed and there was a way to waterproof the side you wrote on, meaning rain and blood wouldn't turn it into an inky mess of pulp unless soaked in some kind of water for at least a few minutes to loosen the ink seeped into the treated animal skin, unlike the paper Minato was using currently.

There was a way around to using leather instead of paper sealed from water if you had a size issue.

It was the same way that jinchūriki seals to contain a demon were anchored to a human's chakra network and skin.

It was very likely that this was how Minato found out about Kushina and Kurama, and how he knew the process of making a jinchūriki like what he turned his son into and how to apply his hiraishin seal to other people. When looking for a permanent solution to the paper problems with his current version of the hiraishin, her kouhai must have jumped to leather, because that was standard in any kunai grip due to durability and was waterproofed already to keep the kunai from slipping out of your hand in inclement weather.

Leather that you could write on was vellum.

Then tripping into this problem, Minato would have done one of two things.

Try to solve it himself and ask Jiraiya when the sannin returned and Kushina if he wasn't in the village at the time.

There was not very much in Konoha about the process of making a living demon container. It was widely known that the Uzumaki clan were the best to use for the creation of a jinchūriki. The Uzumaki clan was also renowned for their fūinjutsu mastery.

Minato probably had asked his crush about it if the Toad Sage hadn't been in the village at the time, since he did take any issues he struggled with to her already. Natsumi could already see a lot of hurt feelings on her redheaded friend's end when her kouhai asked the current jinchūriki about demon container seals.

Sometimes she forgot they were not as old as she was, and _were_ a bunch of teenagers even if this society held them as adults in their own rights.

It was a very big risk to give Minato the vellum now, even if Natsumi half expected her blond kouhai to finish developing the seal before attempting to use the expensive leather in his work. He was young and sometimes thoughtless like most males were prone to when around a female they liked, but… the blond was also one of the few people the misplaced soldier had met in either life who she would march into hell for if just asked to.

Minato was genuinely a kind of leader who would chop off his hand before purposely getting someone killed for a reason he saw as petty, to ensure that his little minions were safe and sound before getting some rest himself even if he was running on a week without sleep, one of those stupidly self-sacrificing idiots heroic ballads were written about. Natsumi had seen that in him when he arranged more work for him and Inoichi without comment during the second test of the chūnin exams just to help her out of a frustrated rut with the desert.

Her kouhai was one of those leaders that died early and young because they were _that_ kind of hero.

He was all that, and the brat had beaten her ass in a public spar in Suna and had been getting to the point of always wining the informal spars they could fit in with the odd schedule they now held.

Natsumi had faith in him as her Hokage ever since Suna, especially seeing as she had been trying to _win_ that spar. She couldn't lead him around the problem and not let him learn what he needed to become the Fourth, it wouldn't be fair to either him or Kushina in the long run.

Instead, the assassin would watch and wait. If the blond future Yondaime looked like he would get himself killed for violating the jinchūriki law she would step in, but there would be a time she would be operating blind like the rest of the village would and having some kind of trust in her future leader's morals and strength of character sounded like a good idea.

Damn the butterflies in her guts about tossing her poor kouhai headfirst into this mess, she would just have to be diligent in keeping watch for him before he did something stupid.

"Hey sempai, I fixed that whiplash malfunction in my seal. Want to test it for me again?"

Now _that_ she could do. "Sure. Hey, Hiashi-sama! Go fetch Tsunade-sama!"

\V/

At nearly a year and three months, Kakashi was one curious toddler. He also was smart enough to figure out how certain series of events got him the things he wanted and took advantage of that fact often.

A very smart toddler with absolutely devastating puppy eyes.

He could crawl around under his own power now, walk only if he had support for it, was learning to read even if he didn't like to speak often because it didn't sound like the others yet, and had more than a few interesting adventures at his knee high view of the world. Natsumi was currently watching him investigate Kuromaru, who was very well behaved around the young human puppy despite Eri's initial worries of the trained ninja dog being around her son.

Sometimes the dogs of the Inuzuka clan were better behaved than their human counterparts, something Natsumi found humorous in a backwards kind of way. She told the young woman lounging next to her that.

"You know, _I_ think it's hilarious that you babysit."

"Well, what else would I do with my time? I'm off active duty for the moment, because of this chakra developing task sensei gave me and Minato-kun to do, and there isn't much kenjutsu I can learn with taicho out of the village." The assassin told Tsume dryly, smirking a little as the silver haired toddler patted the ninken's fur before progressing to tugging shaggy hanks. "Did you think everyone like me just lurked in shadows and sharpened pointy things when not stalking innocent people and gossiping about village secrets?"

She had done more of both the stalking and the gossiping as a kunoichi rather than as ANBU, thank you very much.

The Inuzuka gave a fanged grin to her fellow kunoichi. "I thought we stopped having to deal with the baby crap when we were promoted to chūnin. And… maybe."

Natsumi snorted at her, unimpressed with the view of ANBU held by most even _in_ their village. "I thought I'd see the last of you when I made you choke on tea. Turns out both of us were wrong, huh?"

"I still can't believe you said that to Shibi's face."

"Did you _see_ how green he turned? High point of my day, right there."

Tsume barked out her laughter, causing Kakashi to look over curiously at the sudden doggy noise. "This is why I keep coming back, Natsumi. You're _interesting_."

"And you can pretend you knocking around with a kunoichi that likes pointy things, not getting advice from an amateur psychologist."

"That too."

Natsumi rolled her eyes at the future alpha of the Inuzuka clan. "Kashi-chan, no tugging doggy tails and ears. It's rude."

The fluffy, silver haired toddler pouted at the teenaged kunoichi that watched him nearly on a daily basis now, letting go of Kuromaru's tail to return to petting nicely. He knew that Natsumi knew he understood her just fine, and wouldn't let him continue playing with the dog if he ignored her.

It was kinda unreal to deal with child prodigies, they were… unnerving in that miniature adult way. Knowing the cause and effect of several things around them without even having to know what or how it worked, being uninterested in their safety and health because they didn't know about it yet but that was more interesting to their limited attention span than behaving like the other children messing around with things they already knew about.

The assassin could now appreciate how the caretakers in the orphanage she grew up in felt about her, even if the situation hadn't been the same on her end.

Natsumi could also now see just how badly Kakashi had been unknowingly set up to fail as anything but a terrific ninja.

Without Eri to watch him and guide him around like a normal child was, just trained genin shinobi hired when Sakumo had to leave the village to support them, Kakashi would become immune to the usual child's view of those ninjas they set on pedestals for their almost fantastically unreal skills; thinking that what they could do was normal for everyone because everyone he saw could do it and giving him the impression that the genin or almost chūnin level skills he saw were basic starting points.

Sakumo, seeing his son's development in the shinobi arts between missions, would naturally train him to do them correctly when he had the time with the intent in keeping his son from harming himself accidently. Kakashi would grow up thinking everyone did the same as he did, because the idea that his childhood was a bit abnormal wouldn't occur to him for a long time.

Hitting the academy like an explosive tag as soon as Sakumo could arrange it to give him something to do other than wait on him to return between missions, the silver haired prodigy would sped through the curriculum designed to get the civilian raised kids up to speed with their ninja raised counterparts and slowly ease into the shinobi mindset he was raised in. With the prior knowledge of both shinobi arts and his brilliant mind, Kakashi would have skipped through the latter two years just as fast as the first.

He wouldn't make friends because they all would have avoided the child, either annoyed or uneasy about a four or five year old out doing them in subjects they had been learning for years. He wouldn't learn what the academy went through for shinobi trainees because he didn't do it, just tested out of it. Sakumo's suicide probably didn't help anything besides keeping the rest of the village from focusing their hate of the Third War starting on Kakashi's silver head.

Even being given to Minato wouldn't have helped him much after that, Kakashi would have been used to being the only one taught by his teacher or being alone to develop his skills and he had been obsessing over following the ninja rule book, because that was really what killed his father. Obito and Rin, arriving when Minato figured he would need teammates for higher risked missions, would have been like two other children encroaching on his view of how the world normally worked.

Not having dealt with very many others, Kakashi wouldn't know how to get the idea he was getting frustrated with the shifting priorities across to either his teacher or his teammates. The shinobi mindset of keeping quiet until you fully knew the situation would hamper him as well, causing more than just a little friction between them all until something major happened to let the others in on how the prodigy thought.

Then after finally getting _a_ facet of the communication problem solved in one way, first Obito and then Rin, by his own hand no less, died, and the teen lost his sensei soon after that. Probably making the silver haired teen blame himself for the problems he didn't quite fully know and wasn't responsible for. Kakashi was never given the opportunity to develop the social skills he should have had by his teen years, and ANBU wouldn't have helped the matter in the very least because of how it operated even if it gave the teen space to deal with the losses he went through.

Sandaime-sama taking him out of ANBU to teach his insanely talented sensei's scorned son would have been like grinding salt on the old, reopened wounds. Kakashi wouldn't know _how_ to teach three students at the same time, never having to need to be taught in a social setting or go through the academy to know where his students were starting from, and even trying his very best the ex-ANBU masked Dog would have lost his students to better teachers, even if one teacher in particular wasn't a very moral person in the first place.

Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto might have had the drive and the physical prospects, but he didn't have the knowledge or skills needed for shinobi life that Jiraiya equipped him with. Haruno Sakura might have had the theoretical knowledge, but she didn't have the physical skills, mindset, or drive of a kunoichi that Tsunade inspired to turn her into a stellar medic. Uchiha Sasuke had the most skills, the mindset, and the drive, but he was fucked over by ninja life before even Orochimaru bit him.

Then the guilt of not doing right by his sensei's son and his genin team would have heaped over the guilt of somehow getting his own genin team all killed, and that didn't end well for anyone's mental wellbeing.

Being praised for his own brilliant mind through all of that would have given Kakashi the impression that there had been _something_ he could have done to save the people closest to him. His father, who had committed suicide to keep him from experiencing the blame of starting the Third War, his teammates, one who died _in his place_ and one that _killed herself on his hand_ to keep a threat sealed in her from reaching the village they served, his sensei and his wife, who died going up against a mad Uchiha and resealing the king of demons in their own newborn to save the village, all shouldn't have died because there was something he could have done to stop it.

Handed three children he couldn't teach, that left him to be taught by the sannin, would have reinforced the idea he was doing something wrong because someone else turned them into exceptional shinobi in their own rights when he couldn't figure out how to do more than give them the bits of shinobi life he found out for himself.

Brilliant shinobi, yes. Brilliant as anything else, no.

It was something you would only see from hindsight, and Kakashi probably did figure it out in the end. Not that it did give him any real help once he had both the knowledge and experience to understand what had gone wrong with him.

Still something Natsumi tended to cringed over when alone, at how badly that must have messed up the Kakashi she could recall from a hazy story of her other life.

"So… I may or may not have a problem."

"You don't say." The assassin deadpanned, still watching this Kakashi figure out there _were_ whiskers on the muzzle of a dog. "So what about this hypothetical problem of yours need _my_ help? I don't shrink dog heads, Tsume."

"Ha!" The Inuzuka barked, grinning wickedly. "Dogs are sometimes better than us at sorting out what needs to be done about a problem, and I hope you meant shrink as mind games and not the literal shrink kind or I'd have to hurt you. Naw, mine's about the clan."

That got enough attention from Natsumi for her to turn and fully look at her fellow kunoichi. "Your clan is one of the most forthright ones in the village, what kind of _problem_ could you have with it?"

"You know how we select an alpha, right? That's my problem, I don't like the favored contender for it."

Ah. The reincarnated former soldier tugged the tail end of her growing hair, internally swearing at Shikaku for asking her to grow it out again. "You get to be alpha if you beat the shit out of any other contenders for the position, right? So beat the shit out of this idiot you don't like."

Tsume grinned wryly. "That's what I want to do, but the elders are barking that I'm female."

"So?"

"They don't like the idea of a female alpha."

"Beat the shit out of them too."

The Inuzuka tokubetsu jōnin doubled over laughing, trying and failing to explain why that wasn't possible.

Natsumi caught enough of it to huff exasperatedly at the young woman anyways. "Look, it is simple. Unless the laws you have for leadership _expressly forbid_ a female from fighting for the clan, and I think we would've heard the howls from that being shoved through, as long as you can beat whoever tries to complain your golden. Your dog packs have female alphas. Your human pack can have a female alpha. Just show them you have bigger balls than they do… just not _physically_."

Tsume eventually controlled her howl like laughter, around the time Kakashi started inspecting Kuromaru's paw and how it differed from his hand. "If I didn't think they'd try everything and anything to keep me from being alpha, I would _so_ try."

"So out think them." The assassin sighed, rubbing her head. Why did she always end up with a headache when the brash woman was nearby? "Alpha isn't just being stronger than the rest of the pack. It's also being smarter and thinking of the whole pack's health and safety, not just thinking for yourself. This is the reason you don't like the one being thought of as the next alpha right? You know he isn't fit for it, so you don't want to let him have the position. If you don't want to keep being alpha when you get there to keep the pack safe, find someone and train them up for the position and hold the beatings… excuse me, _elections_ again. Even your elders can't complain if you smack them in the face with the obvious reasons why you're better than him."

"…thanks."

"For telling you what you already knew? You're a strange one, Tsume."

"Pot, meet kettle." The Inuzuka rolled to her feet, whistling for her ninken. "I've got to run, Natsumi. Catch ya later."

The ghost eyed kunoichi waved lazily, watching Kakashi pout when Kuromaru left the Hatake clan compound. "Hey, Kashi-chan. Wanna explore more of the yard now that the doggies are gone?"

\V/

Three months after Tsume literally beat out the other contenders for Inuzuka clan alpha, two more border patrol missions each, and one birthday for Sakumo's son later; Jiraiya came back to the village to check in with his students in the village and let them off the chakra reserves expanding task he set them on.

Natsumi, now with the physical age of sixteen, had almost reached the height she would probably stay for the rest of her life with maybe an inch or two difference in a few more years.

She wasn't happy with it at _all_.

"Everyone's still _taller_ than me, sensei! I'm a freaking _midget!_ "

Minato was down and out howling with laughter at his sempai on the ground, who was glaring at both him and the snickering but trying to hide it Jiraiya. The blond had shot over her head sometime in the last couple of months, instead of almost keeping even with her he was now inching about a solid half a foot over her and it looked like he had another few inches to go. Even Kushina was getting taller than Natsumi was by a hair's breath, and she was nearly a full year of growth behind the assassin.

The misplaced soldier was standing at five feet even, give or take a half of an inch. She desperately missed her five feet and seven almost eight inches she used to have.

The Toad Sage heaved in a few deep breaths, carefully not looking at the full foot and change shorter than him kunoichi assassin. "You know that… that _may_ be from ANBU, neko-chan."

"From stunting my initial growth with late childhood starvation. Yeah, Tsunade-sama read me the riot act when I complained with her nearby." Natsumi scowled and crossed her arms under her chest, glaring at the both of them. "Not the point. I wasn't this short in my last life and _I want my height back, damn it!_ "

Even Shikaku was starting to pick on her for being shorter than the apparent giants she was keeping company with, claiming she just kept him around to reach the top shelf of the cupboards for her. While that may be slightly true because he _did_ have longer arms that she did and could reach up there without needing a slight jump or three or even chakra assistance, the assassin was sure it wasn't nice of her intended husband.

Even more annoyingly, in her opinion, she beat out Kushina's bust size by a fair bit. Natsumi wasn't quite as well-endowed in the chest as Mikoto, but on her height she was ridiculously curvy.

Petite and curvy now described her, nowhere near the lean and tall body she once had _and wanted back_. This being short thing was not a part of any deal she had made, thanks very much.

Natsumi glared at her stupidly tall, growing like a weed, and blond kouhai, who hurriedly tried to sober up and epically failed at it. "You can stop at any time, _thanks_."

"I've… got something that might cheer you up, neko-chan." The white haired sannin still couldn't look at her even as he rummaged around in his traveling pack. "I caught a glimpse of it and picked it up around River Country, and it made me think of you."

Taking the ancient looking scroll from him, the assassin peeled it open and glanced through the inside. She trusted Jiraiya to have checked it out already before handing it to her, he was a master of fūinjutsu since that was what this writing looked like, and…

" _Leopards._ " Natsumi leveled a flat look on her sensei. "The Leopard's Summoning Contract. I know you like your little nickname for me, even taicho pick it up a time or twice, but I am _not_ the shinobi version of that crazy civilian cat lady from down the road."

"I don't know, sempai. You-u got the crazy p-part down…" Minato couldn't find the breath to continue, laughing hard enough to make him curl up around his ribs.

Even Jiraiya broke down with his apprentice, completely giving up on trying not to laugh in her face.

Sticking her nose in the air, about mid chest level with the males currently having fun at her expense, the assassin tucked the scroll under her arm stalked off to find her old ANBU captain. He had stopped laughing at her late last month, so she might get some help out of him.

Natsumi may not have wanted a Summons Contract to begin with, the topic had just been a cover for knowing more fūinjutsu than any other ninja not specializing in the art, but she wasn't going to say no now that she had one.

(ooo000ooo)

Sakumo grinned down at her, Natsumi scowled back up at him.

"If you need to laugh please do it _elsewhere_ , taicho. I just had my kouhai and sensei do it in my face."

Her old ANBU captain smoothed out his expression, much better than Minato's pathetic attempts, looking back down at the Summoning Contract laying open between them. "Well… cats, neko-chan. I'm the Dog Summoner. There's a little problem here."

"With house cats, maybe. You're pack tries that with these cats and they might just _eat_ them, taicho." The assassin huffed, still scowling. "But I just need you to teach me the sequence for summoning, Jiraiya-sensei's a little… _indisposed_ at the moment."

The man nodded his silver head in agreement, one side of his mouth pulling up. "I can see… _why_ he may be slightly incapacitated for the time being."

Natsumi rolled her eyes and crossed her arms under her chest. "For fuck's sake, taicho. Get it over with."

Sakumo threw his head back and laughed, and even his old subordinate had an upward tilt to her lips by the time he was done.

"You have at least appreciate what he did, Natsumi-chan. In finding a Contract for you, even if it's a minor one on the feline side of Summoning Contracts."

"Yeah, and just when everyone stopped laughing at me for the height thing they're going to start laughing at me for this." His apprentice shook her head, rubbing on side of her nose to try and hide the wry twist to her lips. "I can appreciate the thought and I know why he did it, kami _knows_ I should've expected it from _sensei_ , but still."

The Summon clans had multiple Contracts with humans, varying from noble ones like the ones that the sannin held to the minor ones like the one Jiraiya had found for her.

Noble Summoning Contracts dealt with all the animal Summons of a certain species, like how the frogs, toads, newts, lizards, snakes, and slugs all answered to one of the three sannin. Sarutobi Hiruzen held another noble Contract for the apes, covering from the Monkey King Emma to even baboons and spider monkeys. Sakumo held a minor one for canines, for the domesticated Dogs. If the Inuzukas could find the Wolf Contract, which was another of the noble Contracts, even Sakumo's pack would answer to the holder of that Contract unless the silver haired man Summoned them to this world first.

Now Natsumi could look forward to a crash course in how the feline hierarchy worked and exactly where the Leopards fell in that.

You didn't have to find a contract just to use it, you only really needed the hand seals for Summoning. That was how Jiraiya found the Toads, preforming a Summoning without being Contracted for it let the Summons that fit you the best pull you into their world, and he spread the knowledge to the other two thirds of the sannin who called the Slugs and Snakes respectively.

Reverse-Summoning was something that gave Natsumi nightmares, just like how the concept of Summons themselves occasionally unnerved her.

 _That had not been possible_ , as far as she had known, _in her last life_.

The assassin had similar difficulties adjusting to _walking when upside down_ and _shuriken_ , one was just simply impossible for her poor brain to overlook and the other was too unreal seeming to learn to throw.

She was now too much a ninja now to let a little something like her own doubts prevent her from gaining another weapon, not shuriken because they still looked funny to her, in her arsenal to keep herself from at least trying this. Natsumi had given it as an excuse to Jiraiya, so she would have to sign with the contract he found for her or try it herself to keep the sannin from questioning why she really didn't want a Summons Contract if she had looked into so much fūinjutsu for one in the first place.

The assassin wouldn't try summoning the Leopards around her old ANBU captain even with the Dog and feline thing, because she never did figure out why Aki-sama had grinned at her when she was Summoned after the attack on Eri and Kakashi. She didn't know how much Summons talked to other species of different races, and if Ma and Pa Toad had told any other Toads about her situation and if they ever talked to the other species, and she didn't really want to try explaining that to her taicho.

"Alright, _neko_ -chan. Pay attention."

" _Finally_."

\V/

Jiraiya delayed his departure until both of his students that wanted a Summons Contract had at least signed them as Summoners once they nearly drained themselves dry in calling up the leaders of the Summons Contracts and they accepted their new Contract signers.

Natsumi may never get to the point of being able to Summon the Leopard Queen in battle in her life, and _holy crap_ was Tamika-sama a _big kitty_ , but Minato might be able to summon the Boss Toad eventually. The assassin amended that in her head to mean Minato would and she wouldn't, Jiraiya had just been trying not to flat out tell her she never would have the reserves for it.

That didn't mean the negotiations were not still ongoing for getting personal Summons and not just being acknowledge for being _able_ to Summon.

The reincarnated former soldier didn't really know what to make of the Summons world and the creatures that came out of it even now that she had met the ones that came out of hers, there hadn't been anything _remotely_ like it in her last life; but like everything else that had tried to boggle her poor head and she had to deal with since she woke up here and could keep awake for longer than a few hours, she was just going to roll with it and try to fit it in later.

A lot later.

As it turned out, yes the Summons talked to each other. Not very well, it was more like a _haha I met this person of the human realm and you didn't_ kind of thing, but the Leopards and their Queen knew who and what Natsumi was before she even started Summoning their cubs to the human realm.

It did mean a fair bit of fast talking to wrangle an agreement not to spread it any farther, but besides the initial almost panic attack it didn't look like it would be a problem for her.

Minato had more luck with the Toads right off the bat, they knew he was Jiraiya's student and were mostly accepting of him already. The only thing the Toads demanded in return was some occasional help in contacting Jiraiya, and his sempai thought it was terribly unfair her kouhai had it so easy.

Now face to muzzle with a good sized but apparently teenaged Leopard after more tries on her own resulting in cubs that she wanted to admit to, the assassin was trying to figure out what the Leopards wanted from her in return for Summoning their pride members now that her name and blood was on their contract. "If you don't want that, what the hell do you want?"

The feline shrugged, heavy muscles rippling under his spotted fur coat. "Who said we wanted anything?"

"Isn't that how it works? No one does anything for free." Natsumi rubbed her face with both hands, frustrated. "I highly doubt you want blood like Orochimaru-sama's Snakes do, I can't see you trying to guide humans like Jiraiya-sensei's Toads, you don't specialize in healing like Tsunade-sama's Slugs, and I really, _really_ doubt you want to be summoned on occasion just to kick around a day every year like taicho's Dogs do."

Jin sniffed dismissively across from her. " _Dogs_."

He was pinned with an icy, ghostly, and mismatched glare. "My _taicho's_ Dogs, thank you."

"Feisty little kitten." The Leopard rumbled approvingly. "What can you offer?"

The assassin opened her mouth… and then blinked. "Fish and milk and catnip… oh my."

The big cat rolled his eyes at her. "Warmer."

"Do I have to figure it out myself?"

"Do you think every other Summoner was handed the answers on a silver platter? Yes, you have to find the way yourself."

"I'm mostly certain the Slugs were happy to help once Tsunade-sama started Summoning them." Natsumi grouched, tugging the end of her hair. "I can… hell, I'm an _assassin!_ I don't think you want me to _kill_ something, so… I can train cubs to be sneaky and hunt?"

Jin all but purred as he rose to all fours. "I'll take your offer to the elders. Summon me again in two days."

The assassin blinked at the surge of smoke that marked Jin dismissing himself. "Seriously? …what the _hell?_ "

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi was the last one to show up at the Sarutobi clan compound, still trying to puzzle out what she had really offered the Leopards that Jin was happy to take.

Still thinking about it to the point Minato got close enough without being noticed to grab his sempai and tuck her under one of his arms. He was endlessly amused by how the height had worked out between the two of them. "So tell me you're finally done with talking to that cat."

"Um… I think? Jin-san took the offer to the Leopard Elders, and I'll find out if they agree in two days." Natsumi grabbed the arm laying over her shoulder and bent it backwards. "Now stop it, kouhai. I can still beat your ass if you annoy me… if I'm quick enough."

The blond winced at the feeling, trying to smile politely at his shorter sempai and not grimace. "But I wanted to _know_ …"

"Yes, and now you do." The assassin patted the fūinjutsu user on the arm that had been on her a moment ago. "Why though?"

"Because signing a Summons Contract and successful negotiation with said Summons gets us a promotion, sempai." Minato grinned at her even as he rubbed his sore elbow. "I'm tokubetsu or full jōnin as soon as I pass the test spar, and if you finish with the Leopards soon you can get promoted with me."

Natsumi almost missed the step the two of them were going up to get inside Hiruzen's home. "What, really? I thought we would have to run a crazy amount of C or B-ranked missions to catch up with the others."

Fugaku had gotten his tokubetsu promotion, on the technicality of Police patrols being missions inside the village, around the time Tsume was beating her clan black and blue. Hiashi took the promotion board instead of completing the necessary mission experience for his just before Hizashi hit his cap and they both took the spar at the same time. Shikaku, Inoichi, and Chouza had a few more missions as chūnin left to do before they could attempt to pass the jōnin spar because they were holding out for more Intelligence missions to troubleshoot their team formation tactics. Mikoto was dragging her feet about her missions as well since she was waiting on Kushina to catch up.

Natsumi had thought she and Minato would be somewhere behind Kushina, even if they had alternated missions and Jiraiya's task for the last year.

Instead of an exam with other villages possibly _in other_ villages like for chūnin promotions, there was a necessary mission cap and a formally tested spar against a full jōnin in your specialization to even get tokubetsu jōnin in Konoha. You didn't have to win, that was the full jump straight to jōnin from chūnin and what you needed to do before being fully promoted from tokubetsu, but you did have to last a certain amount of time against the elites in your field to be promoted. If for whatever reason you couldn't run the missions needed, there was a board to show you had the technical knowledge and skills before taking the spar.

She also knew exactly where Tsume and Shibi had been stuck before their promotion, right between missions and the spar. The two of them won the spar, but the qualified on missions part was what had tripped them up while they still had issued with each other. Leaving just tokubetsu jōnin for them until Natsumi straighten them out, and they could take the spar again in a year after their first attempt. That was coming due sometime soon, so both the new alpha for the Inuzukas and the new head of the Aburame clan would probably get jōnin about the same time.

Apparently, getting rare skill sets like Summoning also qualified you on the technical side and skate on the mission experience. Then again, there were not many in the village who could Summon, so Natsumi could see why that was. A bit like a piece of dangling bait to entice more shinobi to picking up the skills rarer, and a way to keep that experienced ninja happy if the skills took a long while to learn or could possibly end up in chakra depletion for learning. Summoning was chakra intensive, really something you should only learn at high chūnin and tokubetsu jōnin levels.

Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, being the little chakra monster he was, had learned it at genin and it was hard to remember that wasn't normal. Jiraiya had also done it at a very early age, but he had already admitted Hiruzen had worked them into expanding their normal chakra reserves before that.

There also were not that many fūinjutsu users in Konoha, maybe about four counting Natsumi. "Who would you go up against?"

Minato shrugged, not particularly worried about it. "Hiruzen-sama said it might just be a general combat jōnin I'll have to test against. But still, promotion!"

Tsunade smirked over at the two of them. "Are we sure you're mature enough for it?"

The blond went beet red, muttering his apologies to Biwako even as Natsumi politely greeted the older woman and their Hokage. "Sorry sir. I'm trying to house train him, but it isn't working."

Minato shot her a sideways mock glare even as their kage chuckled at them.

Asuma, now four, and Kakashi were meeting one another on the floor. The almost two-and-a-half-year-old silver haired toddler had just started speaking simple but basic sentences and hadn't started walking as much as running everywhere now. Eri had decided it was time for her son to learn what other children were like and Sakumo hadn't protested, probably because his mouth had been full last night at dinner. Now the man was watching carefully as the Hokage's youngest son was introduced to his own son by his wife.

Natsumi was pretty sure Nawaki was outside still, probably badgering on the other Sarutobi clan child to teach him some ninja skills since they were supposed to join the academy next year. She didn't have much to do with Sarutobi Koichi, the kid was about the same age as Senju Nawaki but the assassin had done more babysitting for Tsunade than Biwako.

She did know both boys didn't survive between now and the beginning of the next generation's shinobi careers. Nawaki would be the first half of the push to get Tsunade to abandon the village and go on one hell of a drinking binge, and Koichi probably only lived long enough to sire Konohamaru before getting killed himself. They were part of the reason she wasn't going to argue about what kind of rank she should have; keeping them both alive probably wouldn't be as fundamentally changing as keeping her taicho alive but they were important to her precious people and to keep them alive she would need the rank to look over their missions they would be taking and the Intelligence from the regions to catch what had killed them.

Coming up on where the not so much younger anymore generation were congregated, Natsumi broke off from her kouhai's side to slide into Shikaku's lap, who leaned back to accommodate her seating choice even as he kept talking to Chouza. "You all _suck_."

Kushina giggled, flushing slightly when Minato took the seat open next to her. "Still going on about the height problem you seem to have, Natsumi?"

The assassin smirked back faintly, internally damning the utterly confusing suffix problem she had all her life here suddenly being dropped on her.

There wasn't much of a point to them anymore, they were at the age the civilians would accept being adults at and didn't have to play along at being children giving each other a social kind of rank. She didn't know they had been playing along, she thought it was social custom here, vaguely recalling the same had been usual custom in the old Japan she had known. Shikaku had to tell her one night over a go board why ninjas did it to the poor confused reincarnated soldier wondering why her teachers still did it to them if they didn't between each other anymore.

It was easier to call each other by name if they didn't have to keep up with each other's tags on missions, so that's what they did. Unless you had a rank even civilians would respect, Hokage, clan head, even sannin; once a ninja hit between fifteen and sixteen the tags were dropped in casual conversation because they were all shinobi.

"Sort of… maybe."

The young woman stuck her tongue out at her. "Should've drank your milk, then."

Chouza nodded firmly at the comment, and he looked very confused when the Whirlpool Princess started laughing.

Since it had been something Natsumi had told Kushina a lot when she had been cooking for all the orphans, the jinchūriki was gleeful over the tables being turned with her whole inch over the assassin's head.

Shikaku hooked his chin over her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist, a grin stretching his mouth up at the corners. "You don't have to be annoyed, Natsumi. I've got more than we both need."

He knew the story just as well as she did, and was amused by the whole thing.

"Hush you."

\V/

Three weeks after Jin had returned with a positive answer from the Leopard Elders and instructions on when to summon and how to train their younger pride members, Natsumi and Minato were facing off with the jōnin selected to test them for their promotion.

Sakumo had given the assassin a katana of her own that morning, claiming it was a graduation present for her mastery of kenjutsu and wishing her luck. The slightly curved sword was mostly standard, it had the ripple pattern of Damascus steel on the blade and the hilt was wrapped in the diamond pattern with black cloth over red lacquer, but for the slightly dangling charm her taicho had temporarily added to the end.

A seated cat charm now in her chūnin vest's pocket.

The cat theme she had going on made Natsumi wonder if she really was that shinobi version of the crazy cat lady. Like Minato had said, she was crazy enough for it.

The assassin was facing off with a jōnin specializing in kenjutsu, amusingly enough. She wondered if she hadn't been taught the ninja art of the sword exactly what specialty she would be facing off against, because assassins didn't seem like a class that left their opponents alive very often. The ANBU agent titled Panther was also sure the jōnin across from her didn't know exactly what else she knew, he had looked fairly contemptuous at the sight of her standing in the ring.

Natsumi slid her eyes to where the Hokage was standing to observe the promotion spars. Hiruzen nodded to show he both understood her intended question and it was allowed.

Apparently all skills meant any kinjutsu known as well.

(ooo000ooo)

"I can't believe you gave the jōnin testing you a concussion."

"Hey! He was a sexist little bastard. What else did you think I was going to do?"

Tsunade's lips twitched, healing the gash she had gotten on the back just before she made her opponent run into a wall head first. "Well, Hiruzen-sensei heard it and he's going to be getting to know a few Yamanaka's in the near future. The serious concussion was a little over the top, my little shadow."

The assassin suppressed the desire to snort, knowing the Slug Princess wouldn't appreciate the moving surface to heal. "And what would have happened to him if he said it to you?"

"They would still be picking parts of him out of the wall, of course." The Senju heiress sniffed haughtily. "But I highly doubt he would have had the balls to say it to my face."

Natsumi hummed, keeping herself from twitching under the older woman's hands. Healing skin was itchy. "I just hope that was enough for my promotion, it wasn't much of a spar."

"It's not the chūnin exams, it didn't _have_ to be an exhibition bout. Besides, you're a kunoichi specializing in assassination that went up against a shinobi specializing in kenjutsu, by the handicap alone you would have been promoted anyways even if you lost."

"What handicap?"

The sannin tapped her back to let the misplaced soldier know she was done, smirking at the confused expression aimed at her before the younger kunoichi redressed herself. "The handicap of odd knowledge mix. Kenjutsu isn't your _main_ specialty, after all."

Natsumi blinked, surprised that she had that taken in consideration for her promotion. "Then Minato's getting promoted anyways too?"

"Tokubetsu, yes. The spar's just for figuring out if he's good enough like you for the full jump."

(ooo000ooo)

"There. What's that saying you like to use? Easy as cake?"

"Easy as pie. Or a piece of cake. You're an _idiot_ , Minato."

The newly promoted jōnin hummed, still grinning. "Hey, it's been _years_ since I heard you say that last."

"…Hiashi and Fugaku-sama are going to be _pissed_."

Natsumi was looking forward to it, she couldn't get the grin off her face either.

Minato had _wiped the floor_ with the _combat ninjutsu specializing jōnin_ he had been paired up against. The assassin had made it back to the arena in time to watch and could see _exactly_ how her blond kouhai became the Fourth Hokage from that fight alone, he may not be as smart as Shikaku or as easily able to understand as she could, but he was a genius in his own right with picking jutsus apart and predicting how they worked. Even when there were in the process of being used against him.

Still, her kouhai had apparently been training himself and his reflexes to take over testing the hiraishin seal. She was so proud of him.

It was also a bit of a wakeup call about the blond's level of skill and even her own, because other than the odd times he faced off with the others of their group nowadays she normally saw him working on his fūinjutsu seals behind his table. Natsumi had never noticed because _she had been there_ for all the skill building, still thinking they were maybe around mid chūnin level when in actuality they seemed to have been tokubetsu jōnin material a year ago.

She had forgotten Minato was a genius, insanely fast and able to keep up with the same speedy thinking and reactions even when in constantly shifting battles. She was just so used to trying to figure out how to sneak up on him and how to out twitch her own taicho to recall they both were legends, way too amused at making her blond's voice crack and having fun crossing swords with Sakumo to realize that even she was able to keep up with the insanely talented duo.

Her adorable little kouhai she had taught to stretch and bend had at some time became the young man who was known as the Yellow Flash… as soon as the two of them solved the vellum problem.

That would be solved the moment she got Kushina to tell Minato about Kurama on her own.

Thank _kami-sama_ Minato had noticed her unease of giving him the vellum in the first place and had stored it until he needed to work out what was disturbing her about it. Him asking her once he had decided on a final version of the hiraishin seal about the leather she had given him to replace the paper had reassured Natsumi that she had at least not screwed up however this little series of events should have gone, or at the very least she couldn't horribly botch it all up still.

\V/

"You _need_ to tell him, Kushina. I can't stall him on this for much longer."

The redhead was helping her move into her new apartment, as well as Mikoto who was sorting and folding her clothes and weaponry in her bedroom. The only bad thing about jōnin standard apartments was that they now did have to pay rent, but they had a little guest room included in the floor plan. Natsumi wasn't sure what the hell she was going to do with that room, there wouldn't be much time until Shikaku got his own promotion and she would be moving again just before their wedding, but it was looking like it would be simply storage space for the moment.

Said jinchūriki sighed and looked forlornly at Natsumi's genin team picture of them all at twelve standing before Jiraiya, hanging on the wall near her bedroom. "I know, it's just…"

_You like him more than just as a friend._

"Look, it's _Minato_. He'll understand. Kami-sama, hime, he understood about _me_ and he was eight at the time. You won't be much of a stumbling block."

Kushina fidgeted, placing a hand over where the seal on her was located. "I-I _know_ Natsumi, you know."

The resurrection of the Uzumaki verbal tick was a bad sign. The assassin did a bit of sighing herself, setting the last of her dishes in the cupboards she could reach from her current position. "I just don't want him finding out that-"

She looked up when the ANBU agent cut herself off. "That what?"

"That's what I'd like to know." Minato spoke up from the open doorway.

The blood drained out of Kushina's face and Natsumi knocked her head against her cupboard door that was shiny enough for her to see who had been standing there. "Hello, kouhai. How long have you been there?"

"Long enough. Care to explain?"

" _I_ can't."

" _You_ can't." The blond repeated, easily seeing the hint and putting it with the topic of the previous conversation. "But _Kushina_ can?"

The assassin hummed, looking at exactly how the red head was taking this development. From the set expression on her face, it seemed Kushina finally got that last push to admit to Minato what she knew of leatherwork in sealing. "I'm going to put up my privacy seals, kick Mikoto out of my bedroom, then go bother Shikaku. Sound good, hime?"

She nodded firmly, looking more like she was going to be marching to her death than telling a friend and possible husband about the tiny detail of the demon residing in her gut. "Thanks, Natsumi."

(ooo000ooo)

"So, not that I'm complaining mind you, why are you spending the night if you have a new apartment to live in?"

"There's way too much drama going on there at the moment."

Shikaku blinked down at her. "Drama?"

Natsumi snorted, stretching out on the Nara's bed. "Despite what Kushina thinks, I'm sure it's not as bad as she was expecting."

The genius hesitated, one hand almost to the light switch. "Can you tell me what it was about?"

"No, for the same reason I couldn't be the one to tell Minato."

"Oh, I see what you mean about drama."

The assassin blinked, not expecting that. "Shikaku, do _you_ know already?"

"About the jinchūriki laws and all that? Yeah. I got to wondering why you were frowning over the gift you were giving your kouhai, and why you gave it without the seals needed if you had asked me about them in the first place."

She blinked again in the sudden darkness. "You _rock_ , Shikaku."

"And I still can't figure out why that's a good thing to you."

(ooo000ooo)

Minato did get mad over the issue, but not at Kushina or Natsumi for keeping it from him.

The blond's rant against the unfairness of turning perfectly good people, okay… _shinobi_ maybe but _still_ , into living weapons had to be contained by the ANBU's normal secrecy seals reinforced with a hurried few more by the jinchūriki, given by what she had heard when Natsumi walked into her own apartment the next morning and by the look of the ink on her walls.

All it really did was increase Kushina's almost painfully obvious crush on Minato.

The assassin just thought it was funny that his own crush on the redhead blinded him to that little fact of life. Sometimes thought it was funny, most often it was the kind of thing you just wanted to smash said person's face into repeatedly until they got with the program.

The small little fact that the two of them were still awake and talking the morning after was hilarious. Especially pointing it out to the both of them that they seemed to have spent the night together.

Kushina, beet red but recovering beautifully, planted her hands on her hips and glared over to the assassin smirking at the both of them. "And just where were you last night, young lady? If you're going to pick on us-"

" _I_ spent the night with Shikaku." Natsumi interrupted the jinchūriki, a wicked grin lifting the corner of her lips. "If you really want to know."

Minato groaned as if in pain, covering his eyes and slumping into the assassin's couch. "I _don't_ need to _know,_ sempai."

The ghost eyes of the reincarnated soldier's gleamed with her suppressed laughter. "Well… the hime did ask, kouhai."

The fifteen-year-old Uzumaki had her face buried in her hands. "I'm _so sorry_ , Minato."

"Right, I'm going to bed." Her soon to be sixteen almost younger, since he wasn't so small anymore, brother shot her a blue eyed glare as he got up. " _Alone_ , sempai. Get your head out of the gutter."

"I didn't say anything."

"You don't have to."

The assassin hummed her amusement, watching the young man leave the apartment with as much haste as he could get away with without looking like he was running from the two kunoichi. Natsumi turned to grin at Kushina, and the redhead squeaked in embarrassment and returned to her beet red complexion.

"You're a mean, mean woman."

"I've been this way for _years_ , hime. You're just catching on now."

\V/

Jiraiya came back to the village a third time, a few months early, just in time to witness Natsumi trying to teach a five-year-old Leopard cub how to stalk living things using her supposedly napping intended.

Shikaku was highly amused, the Toad Sage was very confused, and Kenta learned how to pounce on a slightly moving target… but he pounced on the wrong one.

"Sorry sensei. The Leopards have me teaching some cubs in return for summoning them." The assassin took back the now curious spotted cat, about an armful of heavy feline, from the much taller man.

"And has nothing to do with the fact you're still mostly annoyed by the height thing." Her still chūnin ranked intended added dryly, catching sight of the irritation on the misplaced soldier's face and going back to napping quickly.

"Coward." Natsumi sniffed in his direction.

"Smart man." Jiraiya countered, pulling a face at the cat still watching him as he rubbed at the claw marks on his head. "Finally found how to deal with them?"

"Teaching cubs." Dropping the cat back to the forest floor of the Nara clan's training grounds, the assassin turned back to her old genin sensei curiously. "What brings you back?"

"I need to talk with Hiruzen-sensei… and I may have heard a bit of a blond jōnin's seal work and a concussion you gave the testing jōnin for your promotion spar."

"Oh come on! That concussion was not the worst thing I've ever done to a comrade!"

"…do I want to know?"

"…probably not."

(ooo000ooo)

"So you fixed it for combat use?"

"Mostly. It still takes a lot to get used to, sensei."

"It's not that bad."

"We're not asking you, sempai." Minato gave her and exasperated look from over his shoulder. "You said, and here I quote, 'That's freaking _awesome_ ' about the first series of seals you tested for me. I am never trusting you with anything dealing with speed ever again. The one time I did it myself was bad enough."

Natsumi stuck her nose in the air. "Well, I can see when I'm not wanted."

"Shut _up_ , sempai."

"No." The assassin stuck her tongue out at the blond's back before turning to their amusedly grinning sensei. "The first versions were overpowered, the second ones had a location compress error, made you end up farther from the kunai than Minato wanted, the third one-"

Minato finally turned around and fully glared at her, so Natsumi shut up with a smirk. "We do _not_ need to go through the error with the _third_ one, _thank you_ sempai."

The blond was sitting at his dinner table, the ghost eyed young looking woman sitting on his couch yet again, and their sensei was across from the younger shinobi at the table.

"Okay, children." The Toad Sage interjected, wondering what the hell it was about the third version that had the assassin all but snickering to herself. "Can you _use_ it?"

"Yes sensei." Now even Minato was smirking. "I used it in a spar with Fugaku just last week without a problem. I kicked his _ass_."

\V/

All that hubbub over Kushina's little secret and the two of them had yet to go out on a date half a year later. Natsumi rubbed the bridge of her nose, trying to keep the smirk off her face as she listened to Minato work himself up over the hime's little freeloader problem.

They were inking the hiraishin seals onto the vellum cut to fit the blond's kunai… well, she was. The assassin was using the repetitive motion of dragging the tip of the inky brush over leather to tune out her kouhai's feelings over the feisty redhead they both knew rather well.

"Are you even listening?"

"Nope." Natsumi finished her tenth seal and set it aside to dry and be waterproofed before wrapping it around a hilt of a three pronged kunai. "Look, if you like her that much ask her out on a date."

The crack of Minato's dried brush breaking in half caused the assassin to look up at him. "Seriously, Natsumi. Stop joking about that."

Not intimidated in the least, the duel eyed kunoichi set down her brush and narrowed her eyes back at the blond. "What makes you sure I'm not serious?"

"Because you never are when you talk like that." Minato shoved a hand through his hair, scowling. "I can admit it was funny the first few times, but it's not anymore."

"Have you ever watched Kushina react to it?" Natsumi asked him almost idly. "She turns beet red and fidgets. I make jokes about her and any of the others, even her and me, and she'll run with it now."

Her sometimes thick kouhai blinked in surprise, mouth open.

"I've been trying to clue the two of you in to what the rest of us can see in a method that wouldn't embarrass you in front of the other." The assassin paused, then amended her sentence. "Well, in a way that wouldn't embarrass you two too much."

"She likes me?"

"Yes."

"…oh."

"Oh dear kami-sama, I've seemed to have broken your poor little brain." Natsumi dodged the bits of wood left over from Minato's broken brush. "Are you going to stop acting like a child now?"

Her fellow jōnin frowned at her. "You could be nicer to me, you know. Since I've been the butt of your jokes for years."

"Hey. I've taught you flexibility, helped you learn fūinjutsu, was on your genin team, cooked more than just a little for the both of you, taught you to pack for long missions, passed the chūnin exams with you, helped you with this seal concept of yours to the point I was risking ligament damage, went through a nauseating chakra pool expanding exercise with you for the last year, learned to Summon next to you, and now took the jōnin spar with you. Quite honestly, I think I deserve a raise for dealing with you young whippersnappers, damn it. I'm almost forty-five years old… kinda sorta in a backwards way."

Twitching lips gave lie to Minato's serious expression. "Well, I can see how you might feel that way Honorable Elder. I will consider it… as soon as you help me think of somewhere to take Kushina on a date."

"What?" The assassin yelped, smirking and trying to hide it. "You-you… _men_ … just, _really?_ "

"Well… you're a girl. Kushina's a girl. I'm not."

"That's a mite bit obvious, Minato." Pinching her fingers until they almost touched, the assassin opened her mouth to complain about being called a _girl_ next… and paused.

"What?"

"What do you mean what?"

"You just stopped. That means you thought of something." The sixteen year old's blue eyes narrowed on her, telling her that he fully intended to keep her there until she spilled whatever idea she had gotten.

"Maybe… you know, Kushina likes ramen." At the deadpan expression Minato gave her Natsumi held up one finger to keep him quiet. "I found a quaint little ramen shop that just opened near the Hokage's Tower a few days ago. I was going to take hime there tomorrow… but it seems I might be unfortunately busy with a little sliver haired gaki I tend to babysit every now and again."

"You're _brilliant_ , sempai."

"Hmm… I am, aren't I? Now, about that raise."

The name of the ramen shop was Ichiraku's, and something about the place had bugged her until she had the idea to take the Uzumaki teen there, then it somehow felt right to her to offer it for her kouhai's date… and she didn't know why. It was like having an itch in the back of your head, something about it was important but she just couldn't remember why it was important.

\V/

The mission office for jōnin was the third floor of the Hokage's Tower, chūnin had the second and genin reported to the first. There was the usual line to hand in mission reports; a map of the Elemental Continent, as far as Konohagakure no Sato knew it, on the far wall behind the mission desks; a few couches and filing cabinets of current Intel gathered from other Countries; and a wooden board that took up a full wall with the missions needed to be taken.

Natsumi was currently browsing the mission wall yet again, trying vainly to recall if she ever knew _what_ mission to where her taicho had taken that started the Third Great Shinobi War. She knew it had to have been one that required more than one jōnin, there had to be teammates involved for Sakumo to save, and that it had to be one of the higher ranking ones.

However… some missions required a specific specialty to be completed and if a team or single shinobi didn't have that specific skill the rank and risk was just upped to a higher difficulty rank… so trying to find it by rank wasn't helping her.

There were a number of things that affected the ranks given to missions. Things like how far away it was, how many ninja were needed, what kind of combat would be seen, enemy shinobi known to be in the area, what kind of skill it would take for completion, how long it was expected to take, could all change on ninja to ninja basis because what was difficult for her might not be to Minato and so on so forth. It was likely Natsumi could take a whole year to look though each and every one currently posted and never find the one that killed her taicho in another life.

It was… _frustrating_. She had thought that once she got to jōnin she might be able to _do_ something about the stupid mission, either take it herself in his place or accidently injure the older looking man before he left.

It was just so _different_ than what she had thought it was. Not the whole jōnin thing, she had somewhat expected this.

It was how this generation she was part of was turning out. She had the vague idea that all Uchihas were massive dicks, the Hyūgas had some uncomfortable poles shoved in unmentionable places, the Shika-Ino-Cho formation had been there forever, and Minato had been _that_ good when she was five.

As it was, she had a fair few friends in the Uchiha clan who weren't part of the main house who were pretty cool, the Hyūgas got over themselves a little about the seals they used, Shikaku was only now developing and troubleshooting the tactics for the infamous Intelligence snatch and grab team up, and her kouhai could be an idiot sometimes.

Eri was alive… _Kakashi_ had a _mom_. Hizashi had gotten help for Neji before he had even been _conceived_. The Hyūga clan head and the Uchiha heir were actually good friends if you turned your head to the side and squinted a little… and ignored that it was a friendship based mostly on who had bragging rights that week.

It just… it wasn't bad, but she didn't know what had _caused_ it all.

Had she mistook the situations she read about, or had there been more than she could see within the pages of those books she had only read for a short while in another life?

Wandering to one of the couches to wait on Minato's ass, for a jōnin that was rated exceptional in speed you'd think he be on time more often, Natsumi took a corner seat and watched her fellow shinobi go about their work.

It couldn't have been her, right? The Uchiha heir being friends with the Hyūga clan head had come to a complete surprise to her, she had thought they only tolerated each other for Minato's sake. That had somehow come to light when she and the rest of her genin team had been in Suna, so neither her kouhai nor she had been the push for that.

Eri she would take full responsibility for, seeing as Natsumi had killed her assassins before Iwa could kill her. And for that matter, any changes to Sakumo and Kakashi were her own fault. She didn't think the previous versions of them would quibble over the affront of nosing into their lives, though. Kami-sama knew they would be better off in any different fates than the ones she recalled.

Then there was Shikaku, Inoichi and Chouza. The other Shikaku might… _might_ have actually been _happy_ with his other wife, and just drank to drink. Inoichi might have had all the psychology tricks she taught him in time, from either picking it apart himself or from his clan's impressive collection of data on how the human mind worked. Chouza… probably would still be Chouza, Natsumi couldn't conceive of the mild-manner clan heir to the Akimichis being anything other than what he was in any reality.

Hiashi and Hizashi were another two she couldn't figure out. They were close, more like halves of the whole than just brothers, so how did it end up with Neji sealed under the branch house and Hinata so submissive? There had to have been something that she did to that, but all she had done was listen to the younger twin about his problems. The assassin hadn't even done anything else for him, simply outlined what he had told her in blunt terms and set a few options out for him. She had been planning on helping, but Shikaku beat her 'kill the elders' idea out with the new clan seal.

Mikoto and Fugaku were a little surprising too. Other than the Uchiha bride's friendship with the Uzumaki demon container, Natsumi had thought Mikoto had been the perfect house wife and Fugaku had been the overworked Chief of Police. Mikoto, who was more likely to tell Fugaku to shut up when he got on his high Uchiha horse. Fugaku, who had a surprising flair for research into chakra differences and jutsu use and was just as likely found in the main Uchiha Police Station as in the Uchiha clan library.

Last but not least, Minato and Kushina. Minato was… an _epic_ little brother to have, but he could be a little dense sometimes and someone who couldn't cook for himself worth a damn. Kushina was the mischievous redheaded spitfire she had thought, but the young woman had a strange obsession about being happy with a family she pushed on each of her female friends.

The assassin looked up in time to see the very blond she had been thinking of walking into the jōnin assignment hall with a slightly ragged looking Sakumo.

" _Damn_ , taicho. Which cat dragged you in? I want that one to Summon."

The older looking jōnin slapped at his old apprentice's head, not phased in the least that he missed by a good foot.

"Hush you. I just got back from an emergency mission from Kiri, and I just want to crash. Congrats on setting the date for joining the Nara clan, yes Eri, Kakashi, and I will be there for the wedding."

The man gave them both a backwards wave and a yawn as he joined the line to turn in his mission completion to the desk, probably with plans to write up his report once he woke up again.

The assassin got to her feet with a smirk directed to her kouhai. "So? How did the date go?"

The young man standing next to her flushed red, not meeting her eyes even when she was standing just before him. "Shut it. Don't you want to know where Sakumo-sama has been?"

"Erm… sure? I'll still get how the date worked out from either of you, so stall all you want."

Minato gave his sempai an exasperated glower, which was not effective at all with the vivid blush going up his face. "The mission to Kiri was a diplomatic one to one of the clans out there. We might be getting another clan in Konoha. It was an emergency because there had been some hints sensei heard that Mist is going to try to stamp out their clans."

The start of the Bloody Mist? Well… there really wouldn't be much she could do about that for the moment, if ever. "And so?"

"If your taicho had been caught at it, it might have started another war. I still wonder what the hell the Mizukage is thinking… sempai?"

Natsumi blinked her blue eye, then her green one, trying to understand the last few seconds and exactly what her kouhai had told her. " _What?_ "

Her mind, trained to understand human nature and find enemy movement in conflicting reports from another life, found the answer almost instantly now that it was directed at the problem in the right way.

If Eri hadn't been there to take care of Kakashi, Sakumo would have had to take short but high paying missions when he could get them to both keep them supported and take care of his son. Those short but high paying missions were mostly bodyguard missions for fat civilians that didn't need shinobi protection and assassinations of idiots that pissed off wealthy people. Neither of which were very challenging to _Natsumi_ , not to mention the man who _taught_ her for the last year and a half, to take care of. With the short economic depression that happened between the village switching from a wartime footing to a peacetime one, Sakumo might have been forced to take even lower ranked missions just to keep himself and Kakashi fed and warm and see him more than once or twice every three months.

With Eri there to take care of Kakashi and keep him safe and happy, Sakumo had the leeway to take the missions he was _specialized_ for… not just the ones that would let him return the fastest and with the most money. Her taicho specialized in kenjutsu and leading difficult infiltration missions for ANBU, infiltrations that were known to take a good while to complete and something he might not have had the time to afford taking.

He may have become known as the White Fang of Konoha in the prior situation, but nicknames that flattered a specific shinobi weren't always good ones since they were given mostly by civilians outside of a hidden village to the shinobi that worked for them a lot.

This version of Sakumo may not be as famous to the point even civilians knew of him… but he was a bit more polished in skill than the other one.

Even still, Hatake was a clan name almost every ninja had at least heard of, the ninja clan that had been samurai once. It was why Iwa tried to kill Eri, panicking over the Hatake clan being continued because Sakumo was a big enough thorn in anyone's side for everyone outside of Konoha to really want the man to have a son or two to continue the bloodline.

Eri's death _had_ been the beginning of the end for Sakumo… but not in the way the assassin had thought. It had closed the opportunity to both raise his own son and keep up with his ninja career, eventually ending in a decline of his more specialized skills even if his son was healthy. A high risked, emergency mission he failed and started the hidden villages to warring again would have been the last straw for the overworked single father.

It was why most single parent shinobi left their kids with either good friends or the orphanage. Trying to keep up with a growing child and C or above ranked missions was neigh on impossible.

Then with the Hyūga branch house seal, _Natsumi_ had been the _catalyst_ for it by simply listening and agreeing that Hizashi had a problem. Shikaku, thoughtful and considerate as he was even if he probably would had preferred to nap through it all, had done most of the footwork for it with a few of the others' help; but the only reason the younger of the twins had approached him for help was because she hadn't been in the village when Hiashi agreed they _had_ a problem.

She had been the only variable added to the story she could only hazily recall now, giving the generation she interacted with a broader support base through keeping her little secret and Minato's academy leadership test. They knew each other well enough now to seek assistance when one could help with more than what they could do on their own, and that might not have happened before without her cracked mental nuts to be concerned over when they were young enough not to care about clan politics or social status.

Indirectly, she had given her precious people the tools to save themselves, Hizashi someone to kick him in the ass about his concerns and saving Eri for Sakumo and Kakashi. It was kinda horrible in the fact that so little had actually been _needed_ to change a few major things that ended so badly for a number of people, and trippy in the way that she had done more than she realized in just _being_ there.

Natsumi ran a hand over her face, rubbing away the shock she just had. She seriously needed to know if this world was actually what that story she read once in another life was based on, or simply similar enough to mess with her head. And that meant a very long session trying to find out what she had affected and what had been done by the people around her themselves. "I… feel like you do nearly on a daily basis."

Minato blinked at her, still concerned. "Like what?"

"An idiot." The ghost eyed, misplaced soldier ran the hand over the back of her neck next, still thinking about the series of events that had led her here. "Ever think so hard about a problem only to realize it wasn't a problem after the fact when the solution smacks you in the face?"

"Um… every now and again?"

Natsumi blinked when she caught sight of her kouhai's expression, giving him an apologetic quirk of her lips. "I want to go kill something. Wanna come with?"

"Your idea of therapy is creepy, sempai."

"It's better than Inoichi's. I'd swear he's more girly than me, in wanting to talk about _feelings_ all the damn time."

Minato hummed his amusement, keeping one eye on the shorter woman's pale face. She was gaining color back at a fairly rapid pace, so whatever it was couldn't be _that_ bad. "It's not that hard to be more girly than you, Natsumi."

He was still going to let Shikaku know something had upset her that much, sometimes he worried for his slightly off in the head sempai.

"Hey!"

\V/

"Sneaky."

One ghost eyed assassin barely twitched at the low voice over her head. She was thinking, damn it. Even sexy shadow users with newly grown goatees were not allowed to distract her. "Minato set you on me, didn't he?"

"Well… yeah." Shikaku admitted blandly, sitting down next to the kunoichi laying stretched out in the far end of the Uchiha clan compound's training grounds, not the Hokage's Monument like everyone would have thought she would be at. "You did kind of worry him by spacing out and nearly panicking in the middle of the jōnin assignment hall."

"And I'm very, very sorry." Natsumi huffed, still running her mind over her current memories and her older ones before comparing them with the hazy ones from Fiona's life. "But damn is this shit confusing the hell out of me."

Settling down next to his soon to be wife, the Nara heir hummed lowly.

Knowing he wanted to know, and knowing there really wasn't any good way to explain what she knew to him, the assassin simply turned over and glared at him. "Why doesn't anything turn out like I expected it to? I… I'm trying to think what your lives would have been like without me."

Shikaku opened an eye. "Why?"

"Why not?" She countered irritably. "Was I supposed to be here? Why the hell do I recall another life? What… what would have happened if I didn't follow after Minato when I was eight?"

"You really are sadistic." The Nara caught his fiancée and pinned her to him before she could get up. "Stop. Look, why does it matter? You _are_ here. Whatever may have happened without you won't happen at all because _you are here_ , so there is no point in trying to make yourself sick over worries that really have nothing to do with anything anymore."

That was… probably for the best.

"Fucking genius."

"I can show you that."

Natsumi burst out laughing, endlessly amused that she seemed to have corrupted her intended husband.

"Just so you know, no woman likes being told their worries are not valid."

"I'll keep that in mind when I actually call something you're worried over invalid. I just agreed you were sadistic and asked if it mattered."


	6. Sentry Patrols and War

_War is a conflict that determines not who is right, but who is left to say what's right._

_So why is it still one of the major course of action used to solve struggles between world powers?_

* * *

Natsumi pulled a face at herself in the mirror, inspecting the reflected image of her standing in the full length mirror and holding her arms out to the side like Mikoto had told her to do. "Damn, that is kinda creepy."

Her face was getting tanner, no longer so pale now that she didn't run as many missions behind a painted clay mask and full body armor covering everything but her eyelids on occasion. It just highlighted her pale, mismatched eyes even more than it had before, to the point it really did look like her left blue eye had no color when in the right light. She still had those jolting moments of strangeness where she looked at her reflection expecting Fiona's face and saw Natsumi's far more familiar features, but those had become more than a little rare now a days with the vast amount of mirrors showing that she no longer had the dead soldier's strongly German influenced facial structure but the assassin's narrower face.

Sometimes it made her doubt she had ever lived another life, up until something meshed with that annoying little story she recalled reading and she could accurately predict what would happen next using it.

"You're a very _strange_ woman." Kushina told her frankly, still sorting out the various layers of silk to fashion the final layers of the assassin's wedding kimono. "You don't like to shop, you absolutely fail at color coordinating, and I don't think you've ever seen your full body in a mirror before."

"…I have. There just aren't many of these _this_ clear where I usually work and live." The ghost eyed woman protested, shrugging her shoulders only to be stabbed in the back with a pin by Mikoto. "OW!"

"Stop moving, or I'll do worse and we'll have to pay the cleaning bill for getting blood out of silk too." The Uchiha kunoichi absently threatened the fidgeting woman, checking her work to ensure the reincarnated former soldier hadn't ruined her tailoring work.

Natsumi could no longer do it herself even if she had the skills from a previous life, because of the sharp nails the Leopard Summoning Contract had given her. They had shredded a fair bit of cloth and paper until the assassin caught on to what was going on with her thickening nails. She now had a standing appointment with an industrial strength nail file every day she wasn't on mission, keeping the fast growing sharp points controlled unless they could be useful in clawing someone's eyes or throat out.

"Why the hell am I getting married first, anyways?" Natsumi grumbled, turning her head to inspect her full, silk draped form in the mirror again. "I always thought it would be you, Mikoto."

"Fugaku agreed to hold off on getting the last half of his own promotion until I got promoted, even if I am waiting for Kushina before attempting the spar." The genjutsu mistress answered the question smugly, straightening out the lay of the silk down the assassin's back. "It was very sweet of him."

Kushina held up a bolt of silk across the assassin's front, checking to see if it really did match her coloring. "Your contract with the Nara clan just said until you both were tokubetsu or full jōnin… _and_ Shikaku finally racked up enough Intelligence missions for his own promotion. So now you're getting hitched first."

Natsumi's lips twitched as she shot the Uchiha kunoichi measuring her arm's length a teasing look. "My soon to be hubby is better than yours."

Mikoto stabbed her with the pin again, but the assassin was sure it was on purpose this time. "Shush."

She shot her a glare in return and started swearing under her breath.

"I think it's funny too," the redheaded spitfire informed her friends with a smirk, "that Shikaku got the full jump and not just the half step like Fugaku."

The next Lady of the Uchiha clan shot the jinchūriki a glare of her own for validating the misplaced soldier's odd sense of humor. "I'm pretty sure he just did it so Natsumi didn't outrank him once they're married."

The next Lady of the Nara clan hummed her agreement, trying to fight off a grin and failing spectacularly. "Probably."

Mikoto sniffed disdainfully at the both of them. "Okay, Natsumi. You can shed the-" she blinked down at the pile of silks now on the floor, "-outer _layers_."

"Oops… oh well. Taking a break." Taking the step down, the nearly naked assassin turned to her friends while she rubbed the various pinpricks left in her skin. "That is freaking hard."

"Standing still?" Lips twitching as she fought down a smile, Kushina pulled the finished layers of the kimono off the floor and set them aside to be sewn up. "We do it for nobles and such when they want to intimidate their guests with a show of power by hiring ninjas for silly things like banquets and balls. Why are you so twitchy today?"

Rolling her arms up over her head and bending backwards to stretch out her lower and mid back as well as her shoulder muscles, Natsumi waited until she felt a few pops in her spine before answering. "Cause I hate being touched with pointy objects. Generally, it's a bad thing in our line of work."

"Like you can kill someone with a _pin_."

The assassin snapped back upright, grinning widely. "Wanna bet?"

Both Kushina and Mikoto shot a look to the corner where there were some rather large pins intended to hold long swaths of material together when sewing.

"I don't think we should take that bet, Kushina."

"Maybe not."

Barking a laugh, Natsumi winked over at them as she checked to make sure her small arsenal she brought with her was still all there. "Doubt me not, ladies. I will _prove_ you wrong."

Giving up on fitting the assassin for the kimono she would be wearing to her wedding for the time being, Mikoto turned to the politely smiling if a little pale looking matron of the tailoring shop the three of them were in. "Atoka-san, I think we would appreciate some tea."

"Hai, Mikoto-sama." The elderly civilian who owned the kimono shop bowed to the three of them before bustling out of the small fitting room she had shown the future wives of the heads of two clans into. Probably very grateful for the excuse to leave the three gossiping kunoichi in the room alone, sometimes civilians didn't like listening to ninja talk shop around them.

Natsumi kept snickering as she sorted out her clothing. "I hope I don't have to call you Mikoto-sama now. Fugaku- _sama_ and Mikoto- _sama_ just sounds like I'm brown nosing the both of you."

The Uchiha genjutsu mistress just flapped a hand in her direction, nudging the ANBU standard leather under-armor plates closer to her so she could reassemble herself faster. "Why did you start calling him that? I can sort of recall it was in the academy that you picked up the title."

"Why? Cause he was a snotty little brat when I first met him." Kushina almost choked herself on her laughter with how fast Mikoto's head snapped around to Natsumi so the man's intended wife could glare at the woman mocking her intended husband. The assassin simply shrugged again, making sure she was put together right before facing the two of them and continuing the conversation. "What? He was. Then Minato told him I should've been the Rookie of the Year for our first year there and he lost a lot of his superiority complex against the kunoichi side of the class. Well… some of us. He still hated the fangirls no matter _what_ they did."

If Natsumi hadn't been a part of the generation Fugaku grew up with she wondered if the heir to the Uchihas would have still had that slight disdain for the female shinobi of Konohagakure no Sato he had shown when he was younger. With her little mental stumbling block not too long ago she had been trying to find where and how she had affected the people around her, and Fugaku _had_ been more than a little cold to her in the beginning when they met in the early days of her academy years. That had changed not too long after to be more like wary respect when he learned she had been mentoring Minato's taijutsu development and exactly how good she had been before the rest of them caught up enough to her mental age to understand themselves.

Honestly though, if she was the cause of _that_ she had no problems accepting the blame.

"Then it turned into a way of teasing him about his lofty noble clan and young age… and to remind him about the fangirls he used to _cringe_ from."

Rolling her eyes at the next Lady of the Nara clan and her dreadful sense of humor, Mikoto opened her mouth to make some comment but froze still before saying anything.

Alerted to something being wrong, both Natsumi and Kushina grabbed the few weapons they had previously decided were enough for a shopping trip inside of Konoha and waited for the most chakra sensitive of the three of them to tell them what had caught her attention.

The Uchiha genjutsu mistress turned to the door just as a member of the Genin Corps all but tripped inside with the fluttering owner of the kimono shop behind him. "Mesuji-san! Shikaku-sama's in the hospital."

The assassin didn't wait for anymore, she bolted out the open window.

Kushina rounded on the messenger-nin. "Details."

"The team he was on returned from their mission, kunoichi-san. Without the team leader and the remainder of the team had to be transported straight to the hospital the moment the gate guards caught sight of them."

Mikoto had already sorted away the silks they had been working on by the time the jinchūriki turned to her with a pale face. "Atoka-san, we will have to come back to try this again and have the tea later. My apologies."

"Oh! No, it is alright. We will save this all here for you to return." The still pale matron bowed to the remaining two kunoichi customers. "Take my well-wishes for Shikaku-sama's health to Natsumi-sama, Mikoto-sama."

The future Lady of the Uchiha clan nodded once firmly in thanks and acknowledgement, leading herself and the redheaded kunoichi out of the fitting room to head after their missing friend to the hospital.

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi might not have the fine chakra senses of Minato, the moment he wanted them, or Mikoto's uncanny accuracy, who could pinpoint someone's position even when they were suppressing their chakra nearly a mile away; but she had her own ways of tracking down the closest to her that was similar.

She figured out early on in her kunoichi career that sensing other shinobi through her chakra was too disorientating for her to do, just simply too different from what she had known for her to accept it as accurate over her usual five senses. It made the orientation period after attempting the chakra sensing too long for mission use and her too inaccurate as well as too slow to make a good sensor, so she would never be known for her senses like her kouhai or one of her best kunoichi friends.

However, she found that she could tease out the feel of another's chakra in her usual senses if she knew it well enough to follow in emergencies, without having to concentrate solely on the feelings of the chakra around her and pinpointing them specifically as human and ninja or not. It was something Sakumo had tried to help her develop between the rare and rarer ANBU missions he still took after Kakashi had been born, though he wasn't at all impressed over her limited range with it unless she knew the target well and the skill had been only occasionally used to check their surroundings for eavesdroppers from time to time.

It may not be all that accurate to pick up the exact locations of everyone around or judge how much of a threat they might be by how much the chakra was controlled, and definitely something Natsumi couldn't use on missions unless she was tracking down her well known teammates or sensing for unseen watchers within a very limited range, but it got her close enough for the job she used it for inside the village. Usually locating the unfortunate soul she wanted to poke at in that moment.

She knew Shikaku's and Inoichi's chakra almost as well as she knew Minato's and Kushina's.

That same skewed sense that would never be useful in her missions lead her faithfully through the hospital, past a number of alarmed medics and nurses up to the third floor where she could feel both Shikaku's dark silky and Inoichi's wet earth sensation, with Minato's icy windburn not too far behind with Tsunade's itchy salve sense. Her heart thumped in fear, knowing from the limited experience she had with this kind of sensing that her kouhai was only icy when he was pissed and the medical specializing sannin only itchy when she had been healing. As she got closer she could also pick up Chouza's ginger tang from the recovery room her old genin teammate and her intended were in.

Minato had to throw out an arm to catch her and keep her from barreling into both him and the Slug Princess. "Shikaku's alright, Natsumi, and Inoichi's just chakra exhausted. It's Chouza, though. He used two of the three Akimichi food pills and they only _just_ stabilized his metabolism."

"You can visit, little shadow, but do so quietly." Tsunade added, jerking her thumb to the closed door behind her. "Kami help you if you wake the Akimichi because I _won't_ be nice."

Natsumi slipped past the two of them and let herself in as silently as she could. Shikaku had collapsed on one of the visitor's chairs, on the opposite wall from where the hospital beds that contained his teammates. He only stirred when the assassin brushed her sword calloused fingers under the two livid scars carved into the side of his face.

The young man cracked the eye open to check who it was touching him, then swept the small woman into his lap so she could hold onto him and not just hover uncertainly over him. "Ambush, Natsu. It's not as bad as it looks, just an anti-coagulant that must have coated the katana that scratched me."

"This is a bit more than a _scratch_ , Shika." She had known he ended up with the two arching scars on the left side of his face, but not how he got them. Seeing them only just healed was twisting her guts into knots and making her heart hammer. Natsumi shifted only enough to swing her legs over his hips so she could see the damage better. "I'm going to hunt down the ass that did this and rip out his _spine_."

Shikaku huffed out a hollow laugh as he set his hands on her thighs. "I got _her_. Not much left for you to hunt."

The assassin scowled, still upset at the sight of his scars. "Leave me something to do, please. I would like to feel useful somehow if I can't help."

"I think you help just fine." The Nara heir told her as he pressed on her back to get her to lay against his chest.

She went with an exasperated huff, stretching out her arms to circle them behind his neck. "We're staying until someone wakes up, right?"

He wrapped his arms around her lower back in return. "Yeah."

(ooo000ooo)

Inoichi finally stirred once the moon hid itself behind the first rays of the sun peaking over the rim of the walls surrounding the village.

"Awake?"

The blond mind walker cracked one lavender, pupil-less eye open; blearily taking in the position of the low but familiar voice that called him out. It took him a few moments to realize exactly what he was looking at. "Even here? Is there going to be anywhere safe from the two of you?"

"Shush. I finally convinced him to sleep a little." Natsumi gave him an irritated and tired glare blue eye glare, tightening her grip on the insensible Nara that she was lying on top of. "How are you feeling, besides the chakra exhaustion?"

Shutting his eye, the Yamanaka grimaced at the vertigo sensation that was making it hard for him to concentrate on anything and sorted out his last few memories. "Like shit. What happened?"

"Long story or the shorter version? Cause, I don't know the long story and I'm not waking Shikaku just to hear how much of a fuck up your last mission was."

Inoichi huffed out a hollow laugh, pulling another face at how much that had hurt his ribs to do. "Short then."

"Your team leader's missing, presumed dead unless the Hunter-nin teams come back with a different report. He didn't return with you three and Shika said he stayed behind to give him enough time to escape with you two." The assassin laid her head back down, keeping one eye on the blond like she had to promise her intended before he would let himself pass out. "Chouza's fine now, but he used two of the three Akimichi food pills and he's practically as thin as I was back after ANBU."

The muscles of his jaw clenched and the bedridden blond opened up his eyes to stare at the ceiling. "Fuck."

"Mmm, don't think Shikaku would appreciate that."

Inoichi's mouth twitched. "Nice to know some things never change."

"I think I might give a few people heart attacks if I started being serious."

"True." He looked around, carefully since moving his head was making it spin, and located the covered form of the Akimichi heir. "Ah… _hell_."

Natsumi hadn't lied or even bothered to cover up the truth, Chouza was nearly as thin as she had been after nearly starving herself just to keep up with her old ANBU squad. On an Akimichi's frame her once stick thin look was nearly skeletal seeming for the broad and tall frames of the body size jutsu clan members.

"Before you ask, Tsunade-sama said he'd be fine with a little more rest and a lot of food. In a few months we won't ever be able to tell he got this bad."

Inoichi just grimaced again while keeping his eyes on the boney frame of his last teammate. "That doesn't really help, Natsumi."

"I know." The misplaced soldier huffed a hollow, painful laugh. "Trust me, I know."

\V/

The day Chouza woke up for the first time after being carried into to the Konoha Hospital the nurses noted that the Akimichi heir's friends, who ranged from the Nara heir to the head of the Hyūga clan to a number of other shinobi of some note, snuck or talked their way into the recovery room to seemingly camp out for the day with a number of soup and stew containers.

"You've always had the greatest timing, Chouza." Natsumi joked lightly as she seated herself on the foot of the way too skinny Akimichi's hospital bed. "How the hell that turned into waking up just in time for us all to be free to come and visit you I have no idea."

Chouza just shrugged with a smirk, already digging into the food the assassin had gotten Tsunade to approve to bring to him. It was all soups and broths for the moment, but if the tokubetsu jōnin could keep up with his metabolism without needing the medication developed by the Slug Princess for insensible Akimichis he would graduate to soft foods next and his preferred hard foods not too long after that.

"I seriously want to know who taught you to cook, Natsumi." Kushina set the next crock of soup the assassin had spent nearly three days making in preparation for her intended's teammate waking. "I mean, I know you've got the experience for being this good but I haven't even _seen_ half of these before."

"I've learned them here and there, some when I was a civilian and a lot more when I was a soldier way back when. That's French onion soup." Pointing at the pot that she had abducted from the Hyūga kitchens when Shikaku's had ran out of containers, Natsumi grinned at the deadpan expression on Hizashi's face as he set that one down next to the crock the jinchūriki had transported in. "And that is split pea. Never really liked that one, to be honest."

Shikaku raised an eyebrow at the fan stamped on the crock he was holding. "And the Uchiha's? Who else did you raid for bowls last night?"

"I'm pleading the fifth."

"What?"

"I know that one." Minato rolled his eyes as he slipped passed Hiashi on his way out, holding the container he was bringing in over his head so it didn't knock into anyone and spill. "It means she's going to refrain from commenting because answering would incriminate herself."

Kushina smirked, taking a break near the window since she had started transporting the soups and stews at the same time as the assassin had. "I like it."

Chouza had been sidetracked from his eating at the sight of the barely healed over scars carved into his teammate's face. Natsumi snapped her fingers in front of his face when she noticed his distraction. "Eat, before I force feed you. I'd bet I would be the first to do it in Konoha's history, too."

"But-"

"Chouza, you're the one everyone was worried about. Superficial scars and chakra exhaustion do not compare to your almost skeleton thin frame. _Eat_."

The Akimichi heir meekly went back to spooning up the soup he was eating under the stern stare of the assassin.

"I do love your ability to mother the men we all know, Natsumi." Mikoto smiled as she sidestepped past Hizashi brining in yet another suspicious looking container. "And steal just about anything not nailed down at the same time."

"Shush you. It's not mothering, it's ordering."

"Isn't that Biwako-sama's bowl?"

"Yet again, pleading the fifth." Natsumi sniffed in the Uchiha kunoichi's direction. "…actually she found me in her kitchen and let me have those ones for a few days."

"Well, nice to know someone can catch you when you feel like being sneaky." Minato deadpanned as he picked his way through the soups and stews his sempai had made. "What is this one?"

"The stew left over from a pot roast I made last night. That one is the last one Chouza's allowed to have." Smiling evilly at the hopeful look the Akimichi pinned her with, the assassin switched the empty bowl with the one of French onion. " _Last_ Chouza."

"What did Tsunade-sama say about these?" Restacking some of the containers so they wouldn't tip over and spill, Inoichi carefully placed the two crocks he had on the stacks they had brought in already. "I know more than half of what you made are not local recipes, or possibly not found anywhere around the world."

"I don't think Tsunade-sama knows I can actually cook. She might just have assumed that I _can't_ cook and threw some things in a pot for most of these. I'm pretty sure she also tested all of these for food poisoning too."

Chouza choked on his mouthful of soup.

\V/

A runaway, silver speeding bullet hit her the moment Natsumi let herself into the Hatake clan compound's outer gates.

"Natsu- _nee!_ "

"Hey, chibi-chan." The assassin ruffled the three-year-old's fluffy hair fondly. "What's kicking?"

"I'm not kicking." Kakashi looked adorably confused as he tried to understand the weird things that came out of his sister figure's mouth on occasion. "And I'm a _boy_."

Natsumi pried the young child's arms off her thigh and pulled him up to sit on her hip. "Are you sure about that?"

"About the kicking or the boy part?"

"Stop trying to confuse my son, neko-chan." Sakumo's voice carried over to the two of them, the man himself sitting at the dinner table writing out yet another mission report for the mission clerks to file away for other missions' intelligence planning.

Probably working on follow up report for the same mission that killed him in another life, adding in information that he had either forgotten to include the first time or only just now found out had been important in some way.

It was standard practice for cell leaders and ANBU captains to submit another report after the usual mission reports for the whole team or squad, it was more often known as the intelligence report and covered the ungodly amount of minor details about other villages and towns as well as the rumors each ninja heard while on mission and small facts about the mission you hadn't included in the mission report for whatever reason. That report wasn't due nearly right after returning to the village like the mission report, but it was considered polite to turn it in anywhere from three to six months after a mission taking you out of Fire Country.

The assassin's lips twisted downward as she eyed the paperwork in her old ANBU captain's hands. If there had ever been a reason to hate the inevitable piles of never ending forms and written reports that came with being a part of any military outfit, the current favorite of hers was that the older looking silver haired shinobi had almost committed suicide on behalf of a badly botched mission that hadn't succeeded anyways. The clan he had gone to deliver a missive to refuse by letter, one taken to Konoha by an elderly member of the clan who hadn't survived much beyond delivery. It had been on hell of a slap to the face, to realize the issue had been a complete nonissue other than the whole getting caught thing because the clan in Mist would have refused the help anyways.

"I… need to ask you and Eri-san a question, taicho."

The hesitation in his old apprentice's normally calm and even, or dry and sarcastic, voice drew the older man's attention like a lodestone. He paused in writing, holding the brush off to the side and gave the ANBU assassin called Panther his full attention. "Eri's in the garden. Kakashi-kun, go fetch your kaa-chan."

Natsumi fidgeted under the steady and inquiring gaze of her old ANBU captain after she set the boy down and the hyper child ran off to find his mother. "So... how are you?"

"Fine, something you know because you had dinner with us yesterday." Sakumo set his brush down, a faint smirk tugging his lips. "This wouldn't have anything to do with Jiraiya being out of the village and not expected to be back for a few more months and a certain someone's wedding in a week, would it?"

The reincarnated former soldier hesitated, frowning. "You're an evil, evil man, taicho."

He had the gall to laugh at her and was still snickering when Eri wandered in, half listening to her son explain how great it would be if Natsu-nee stayed for dinner and showed him a few ninja things out in the yard even if he was in trouble for walking up a wall and leaving dirty footprints all over the ceiling before shocking poor kaa-chan out of a year of her life.

The civilian woman looked between the young woman that had saved her life once and the husband that had taught her much of how to do it. "Is there something wrong, Natsumi-chan?"

Shooting an exasperated look at the sliver haired ninja snickering with amusement at her, the assassin turned and greeted the terrific woman who married the lump of unhelpful male her taicho was being. "I've got a question... more like request, really. Jiraiya-sensei's not expected to make it back in time for my wedding, and I need someone to stand in as otou-sama... and okaa-sama of the bride. I was wondering if the two of you would do it for me."

Eri smiled softly at the uncomfortable kunoichi. "I would love to stand in as your okaa-san, Natsumi-chan. And Sakumo, as soon as he behaves, would love to stand in as your otou-sama as well."

The older of the two silver haired males in the room abruptly stopped laughing, peering suspiciously at his wife. "What does that mean?"

"It means stop laughing at your poor, hardworking, and _babysitting_ old apprentice before I exile you to the couch." The civilian woman turned to beam at him too, but she had an evil smirk on her face instead of the sweet smile the assassin had been gifted with.

Natsumi's lips twitched, trying and failing to stop the answering smirk from crossing her face.

Yet again, Eri was _awesome_.

Sakumo muttered a few thing to himself that he was lucky his wife didn't catch, a few of the words Natsumi could pick up involved 'damn', 'running', 'women', and 'life', and not necessarily in that order.

The only reason the civilian didn't catch it with how close she was standing to her husband was because Kakashi became curious over where his Natsu-nee's parents were if she wasn't really his sister but was asking for them to be. Which diverted Eri enough in explaining the concept of death, being an orphan shinobi and the legalities of that, as well as wedding traditions to a three-year-old genius not to hear anything else.

The assassin gave her old ANBU captain a salute on her way out the door, grinning the whole time.

Life had been disrupted, her work here was done.

\V/

"How are the three of you doing?" Natsumi asked the next day, taking a seat next to Shikaku. Inoichi didn't even bother to look up at her and even the still too thin Chouza had stopped eating, and from the look of the chip bag half full in front of him not too long ago either.

Her intended shot her a sideways look. "What are you doing here?"

"This is your normal training grounds. You three were usually here with your team leader for training for the last few years." The assassin ignored the automatic wince from all three men sitting in the training field. "You know, I don't think I know his name."

"His name was Taka." She was rather impressed her intended husband actually managed to keep much of the bite out of his tone, trying not to snap at her for poking at something that still had to be sore even weeks after their team leader's death. "Why are you asking, Natsumi?"

"Grief counseling." Inoichi answered before the assassin could, recognizing what she was doing from his own training with his clan. "Do you really think that will help?"

"Well… I spent eight years without any and I nearly went off the deep end before you all finally got me some." Natsumi pointed out dryly. "Admittedly I needed the counseling because I had nine deaths to come to terms with and I was stuck on denial for a good few _years_ … so what do you think I think? Humor me, boys."

The Yamanaka heir knocked his head back against the tree he had been hunched under. "Revenge is sweet?"

"Something like that. And if you forced me through all that, including the parts I really didn't want to deal with like the post-traumatic stress disorder and my own death, the least you can do is tell me a little about Taka."

Inoichi laughed weakly, covering his face with one hand. "Now I feel like an ass if this was how you felt."

The assassin huffed, shifting around for a more comfortable position for a collection of bruises on her thigh from a sparring accident two days ago. "Ignore that, it'll fade with time."

"She's got a point." Shikaku laced his fingers together behind his neck with a grimace. "We did all but tie her down for her therapy."

"Tie down? You froze me in place after paralyzing me. So that… and I really do want to know about the man. If you three respected him this much he had to be a damn good shinobi."

Natsumi listened as the three of them shared some of what they knew of their KIA cell leader. Of what the man had done in certain situations; the fact he hadn't liked the Nara's control over shadows for the first few weeks they had been assigned together; how he adjusted to it; what they did to celebrate the man's promotion; and the varied little details they had known of the KIA jōnin Taka Lin.

\V/

Minato stared at the scarred man, scowling. "I swear to kami, if you're thinking of leaving the closest thing I have to a _nee-chan_ at the _altar_ on her _wedding day_ … _I will kill you_."

"What? _No!_ I don't plan on leaving Natsumi at the altar!" Shikaku lost a few shades of color in his scarred face, looking a little queasy at exactly how icy the blue eyes of the blond's had become from how he had interpreted his comment.

"Shika's just panicking." Inoichi snickered from the other side of the soon to be married, or dead, man. "Even genius are allowed to panic on their wedding day, Minato. Don't kill him for it."

The crunching noises stopped and Chouza, well on his way to recovering from the metabolism unbalance caused by his clan's high leveled jutsus and taking two of three food pills his clan developed but still with an appearance almost too thin for an Akimichi's bone structure, looked over at the three of them curiously. "Did Natsumi panic?"

He was dressed and ready, just waiting on them to get themselves together.

"Well, I can't speak about right now. But I do know she's got a few worries of her own."

The fūinjutsu user and the shadow master both looked over to the mind walker and spoke at the same time. "She does?"

Wrapping the obi around his waist, Inoichi tied the formal kimono he was wearing to the ceremony shut. "She's… what age did she say she was when talking to you, Minato? Nearly forty-five? She's an almost forty-five-year-old woman in the body of a seventeen-year-old, marring a seventeen-year-old man. Two of the few words I managed to pry out of her yesterday were 'cradle' and 'snatcher'."

Shikaku blinked a few times, working out that logic in his head. "So what, does she want an older man?"

"Asked her about that too, she muttered 'cougar' just loud enough for me to hear."

Chouza snickered. "Sounds like Natsumi."

Minato pulled a face. "I don't think I really wanted to know that…"

Inoichi kept Shikaku from asking another stupid question that would get his head almost bitten off again by his bride's brother in all but blood by continuing with what he had gotten out of the ANBU assassin the day before. "She also stated she would've settled for a civilian idiot that wouldn't know what she has done for most of her life if Shikaku hadn't talked to her about marriage, and this was considerably better than what she had figured she'd end up with if she ever got around to desperately wanting a family of her own."

The mind walker's fellow blond now looked irritated at the bent the assassin's mind had taken her in assuming her probable married life.

Shikaku, on the other hand, looked more relieved now than when the fūinjutsu user stopped glaring at him. "So, she does want to marry me?"

Snorting, Minato gave the newly confirmed Nara clan head a deadpan stare. "She almost flat out freaked when she was told you were in the hospital, Shikaku. Kushina told me she didn't even wait for the full report before bolting for your side during the first fitting for her wedding kimono. I had to keep her from running _into_ Tsunade-sama on her way to make sure you all _were_ okay."

"…oh."

The blond seal user shook his head at the shadow master. "You know, Natsumi calls me her idiot in polite conversation. I think that may have to change to 'idiots' so she can include you too."

(ooo000ooo)

Kushina, finished with braiding the long hair so it could be put up in a few minutes, took a seat next to the fully dressed bride carefully applying the makeup she couldn't talk her way out of. "Excited?"

"Panicking." Natsumi countered flatly, still staring at herself in the vanity mirror with the lip brush suspended a full inch from where she was supposed to be painting with it.

Hugging the slightly shorter woman carefully so she wouldn't muss anything that would need to be fixed in a hurry, she smiled up at the assassin still staring at herself. "You'll be fine. You say a few words, follow Shikaku around, and it'll all be over. You'll be Nara Natsumi this time tomorrow."

The ANBU agent gave her a slightly wide-eyed look. "I don't think that's helping, hime."

"How about thinking of the wedding night?"

Natsumi blinked a few times, left side of her lips twitching upwards. "Maybe."

Kushina dissolved into giggles, burrowing into the reincarnated former soldier's silk clad side. "You really are a pervert."

"Well… yeah." Finally getting around to the reason she was holding the makeup up in the first place, Natsumi smeared the red color over her lips. "What was your first clue?"

"Mine was what you said to me and Shibi on mission!" Tsume barked from where she was putting herself together, ignoring the fact her kimono was gaping open enough to show a fair bit of chest for the moment as she carefully pulled up her stockings to keep her long and sharp nails from ripping holes in it.

Mikoto sniffed haughtily, trying to hide her smirk, and adjusted her Uchiha crest stamped fan tucked into her obi. "There was that one time you said to Shikaku that he made a good pillow and every girl needed a pillow like him in their bed… or was it life?"

The alpha of the Inuzuka clan turned around with a fanged grin and a laugh once she was done with adjusting herself so she wasn't falling out of the kimono. "She did? Wow, talk about predicting the future."

Throwing an irritable look at the two of them gossiping behind her, Natsumi finally stopped obsessively checking her small arsenal of sharp and pointy things with her off hand and set the makeup Eri had lent her for the occasion off to the side. "I'm ignoring you both. I never should have introduced you two if this is how you intend to act."

The next Lady of the Uchihas smiled prettily at the seated bride glaring at her through a mirror's reflection and turned to the alpha of the Inuzukas. "Would you like to get some tea sometime and hear all about what Natsumi thought was appropriate to tell a few people to their faces and the offhand comments she's made over the years I've known her for?"

"I would be delighted." Tsume answered just as formally, trying and failing to fight off the wicked grin inching across her face.

"Shut up you two."

Kushina smiled softly at Natsumi's reflection, still leaning against the now marginally calmer assassin. "Feel better about this yet?"

"…yeah."

(ooo000ooo)

Eri beamed at Natsumi as the bride and her handmaidens came out of the dressing room, clasping her hands just beneath her chin. "You look _lovely_ , Natsumi-chan."

Sakumo almost reached a hand over to mess up the kunoichi's braided and tied up hair, only deterred by the glare his wife dropped her smile for just to warn him off. "Err… you do look nice, neko-chan."

The assassin couldn't keep the lopsided grin from pulling one side of her painted mouth up. Eri was still her favorite woman in this life, just over Senju Tsunade for what she could make her old kenjutsu master and ANBU captain do with just a look. "Thanks."

"We should get this started before Kakashi-kun decided to try out his chakra control on the walls again." Commented her old ANBU captain, rubbing the back of his silver head sheepishly.

"Yeah… I think it's a bit too late for that, Hatake-sama." Mikoto interjected softly, tilting her head to find out exactly where the youngest Hatake was currently. "I feel him a few feet up the north wall in there."

The mother of the child in question pinched the bridge of her nose. "My apologies. I'm going to go get him down, you two start this already."

Both kenjutsu users saluted her at the same time, giving the respect a ninja normally gave their kage. "Yes ma'am."

(ooo000ooo)

"Stop worrying."

"I'm not worrying, I'm… concerned."

Shikaku huffed in her ear, exasperated. "Well then, stop being _concerned_. I'm a little afraid your kouhai is going to kill me if he starts thinking you didn't want to do this."

"Minato won't kill you." Patting absently at the tan arm wrapped around her waist, Natsumi peered around the people gathered at the wedding reception to where her favorite blond was standing with a very pleased Kushina near the bar. "I think."

"Confidence inspiring, dear." Her newly wedded husband drawled wryly into the same ear, causing the assassin to snicker. "What is it that's concerning you? It has to be something good, I've never seen you this uncertain about anything before."

"You weren't there for my chakra control lessons, so of course you haven't." Hesitating only a moment more, and encouraged by the squeeze of the shadow master's arm, his new wife turned her head to look him in the eye. "Don't laugh."

Shikaku raise an eyebrow at her.

"I don't know how to be a wife." Natsumi narrowed her mismatched eyes at the man's slowly growing amused smirk, driving her elbow back into his gut with an annoyed huff. "I said _don't laugh_."

"A laugh is verbalized, Natsu. Therefore, I'm not laughing."

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with your husband, Natsumi-chan." Both newly wedded Naras turned their heads to the familiar voice and scrambled to salute the Hokage. The shinobi world's 'Professor' waved them down. "I just came to offer my congratulations."

Natsumi blushed darkly, embarrassed that the man had heard her concerns over what kind of spouse she would make. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

"Hiruzen, please. You two certainly have earned it." The Sandaime corrected easily, smiling calmly at the two newlyweds that tried getting some time to themselves by situating themselves in an out of the way corner and taking the assassin's hand to pat it comfortingly. "Don't worry so much dear, every shinobi that married started with the same worries you have."

"Even you, Hiruzen-sama?" Shikaku asked for the both of them, since his new wife was too self-conscious to ask herself.

"Even me. Although, my concerns were more too how I would protect Biwako and any children she would give me from the enemies my predecessors and I have gained over the years." The head of the Sarutobi clan smirked and added dryly, "then ANBU decided to solve that problem for me. I think even you have taken turns on the Hokage's home guard shift, Natsumi-chan."

"I have, Hokage-sama." Clearing her throat, the assassin finally raised her head to look at the Fire Shadow. "Thank you."

"I do hope you are not thanking me for guard duty, I might have to start asking for the Yamanaka clan to inspect the mental health of all active ANBU agents as well as the more visible ranks."

Natsumi laughed weakly. "That'd make Inoichi happy."

Hiruzen hummed, a faint teasing grin appearing on his weather beaten face. "Would annoy a fair few ANBU too, I'd imagine. Feeling better yet, Natsumi-chan?"

"Yes, Hiruzen-sama."

Patting the hand he was holding one last time, the kage of Konoha folded her hand into her husbands. "You two will be fine. Just remember assumptions are not always a good thing in a relationship."

Shikaku set his chin on his wife's shoulder as they watched the middle aged kage walk away. "Hard to have doubts when the Hokage himself has faith in you."

"That's… putting it mildly." Taking one last moment to settle herself, as it probably wasn't the last time the Hokage would sneak up on her and she dearly wanted to know _how_ he did it even to _Hyūgas_ , the assassin led her husband out of the niche he had found for them by the hand. "Come on, let's go rescue Shibi from Tsume. She got into the sake already and I think he's losing patience with her."

"How can you _tell?_ "

\V/

The week of paid vacation time Sarutobi Hiruzen gifted to the newly married Naras went by without a sighting of the newlyweds… and anytime the two missing Naras were mentioned Minato turned a bit pale and Kushina broke down into giggles.

The newly named _Nara_ Natsumi's lips twitched as Tsume blithely told her exactly what had happened and who did what when she had been on 'vacation'. "This is why I keep you around."

"Glad to know you think I'm useful." The wild woman sniffed, fanged grin on her face the whole time. "I also had a very nice little gossip party with a certain Uchiha while you were playing housewife. Wanna hear what I learned?"

"Since I was the one to do most of it… oh wait, I did _all_ of it and only had occasional help now and again, I'm pretty sure I can guess."

"The guts you've got to have to say some of that to those people… man, if you weren't married I'd ask you to run away with me." Tsume whistled lowly, smirking as Kuromaru twitched from the doorway and lift his head to look over at them.

"I don't think Shikaku would appreciate that." Mikoto interjected serenely, doing a fair bit of her own smirking as she poured another round of tea for all the women in the Nara's tea room.

Kushina was too busy trying not to suffocate herself by laughing too hard and trying to keep it quiet to provide much for the conversation taking place in the reincarnated former soldier's new home.

Shikai had gifted Shikaku's old childhood home to the newlyweds, moving himself and Shikaku's mother to a smaller one on the edge of the forests the Nara deer herds lived in. The new clan head of the Naras had eventually gotten around to telling his wife that it was traditional, every time the clan head's son took over the position the house exchanged hands to make way for the next generation.

Natsumi smiled blandly at her three female friends. "I have no idea what you could mean."

"Please," The redhead gasped out between giggles, pointing one finger in the assassin's face, "we all saw the smirk on Shikaku's face when the two of you finally surfaced."

"How badly did Minato pale?"

"Oh, he twitched. Kinda like he does when someone manages to stab him on mission." The Uchiha genjutsu mistress told the kenjutsu using assassin frankly. "I don't think he could look your husband in the eyes at all before they left on their mission."

"Oh, my poor, poor kouhai." The new Lady of the Nara clan couldn't stop the wicked smirk from inching across her face. "He'll adjust, as soon as Kushina-hime finally puts him out of his misery and marries _him_ … or at least takes him to bed."

The named Uzumaki cut off her laughter with a squeak, flushing bright red.

\V/

Even if they were newly married, Natsumi was still called out on mission not four days after her husband and his team plus one had left on their own.

"What's up with this, taicho? I've been getting more assassinations the last few months than I've had all last year." Picking up the black streaked cat mask and fitting it over her face, Panther turned to the fully dressed Wolf in the ANBU staging locker room, masked face cocked to the side.

"Hmm… not too sure, neko-chan." The occasional captain of her ANBU squad got a spare katana to replace the one he had given her out of the locker used for temporary weaponry storage. "But I know Iwa's getting restless and Kumo's been testing the boarders more than they had been."

Natsumi nibbled her bottom lip under her mask as she situated the bland and ordinary steel blade katana on her back.

She had completely blown the original start of the Third Great Shinobi War out of the water by keeping her taicho skilled enough, and not slightly desperate to raise a son on his own, to complete the mission that had formerly doomed him, but she also knew there would be _something_ that would happen to kick off another war. Like what she had told Kushina a long time ago, they hadn't proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that anyone or anything going up against Konohagakure no Sato would not survive the attempt yet.

Now the only thing she wanted was to make sure Konoha wasn't at fault for _starting_ the next war, because that will have eroded much of her authority even if they survived it the first time through.

"So what's the mission?"

Wolf swung his head to motion Jackal and Horse over to where he and Panther were standing. "We have an assassination of a nobleman in the Land of Iron. The target is going to be fairly well guarded, and the contract calls for a public execution, so we'll need iron tight alibies to both be in the country and to leave it during the confusion of the noble's death. Any questions?"

Silence was all that answered him.

"Move out."

\V/

Natsumi came home after two weeks on mission tired and slight achy, and she plastered herself to her husband's back to peer over his shoulders and see what he was working on in the study once she was finally home. "More tactics?"

"Sarutobi-sama's been asking me to help the current Jōnin Commander with working out the initial tactics of the missions going through the jōnin assignment hall."

The assassin smiled tiredly, listening to the rumble of Shikaku's voice through his back. "Well, that sounds fun."

"It's something to work on." The tanner Nara clan head craned his head around to try and look at her, finally giving up and hauling the shorter woman into his lap. "Natsumi?"

"Mmm," not at all against the new position, the kunoichi simply settled herself in a better position for a nap, "didn't want to spend the night at ANBU headquarters. Tired."

"Tou-chan asked we go have dinner with him and kaa-chan when you got home. Mind?"

"Wake me before we've got to be there."

(ooo000ooo)

"Iwa and Kumo are arguing?"

"Yeah, surprised me too." Natsumi threw a lopsided grin at her husband's father. "But that's the general take of the rumors going around up near Iron Country, Iwa's accusing Kumo of substandard assistance and Cloud's countering with a few pointed suggestions of Rock's own failure to uphold their promises."

The old head of the Nara clan hummed lowly as he thought that over. "Have you heard anything from Kirigakure no Sato?"

"No one's heard anything from Mist, old man." Shikaku told him dryly. "There's nothing coming out from Ame either, but that's more normal than Kiri suddenly going quite."

Letting the two born Nara males argue good-naturedly about what was and what wasn't normal for the Village Hidden in the Mist, the assassin stared into her tea as she swirled it around. Aikido took the opportunity to inform her of the news she had missed by being out of the village, from the few jōnin promotions to the news of a confusingly large number of newborn babies that seemed to have gone missing a few towns over to the current spat of rumors going around their Hidden Village.

With Iwa's failure to cause the death or at least damage the head of the Hatake clan's reputation and Kumo's failure to snatch the Uzumaki kunoichi out of Konohagakure, it was almost too simple seeming for the two of them to turn on each other over the usual squabbles of who was more wrong. Suna was, of course, completely content in Konoha's vouch of assistance and with Kiri suddenly going completely dark like it had threatened to do since the end of the last war, there seemed to be little to start another war over with the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

It was starting to look like there wouldn't be another war just yet, not with the reason Sakumo once committed suicide over not happening here. Why would the other three countries try to chip away at Konoha's superiority without even a halfway truthful reason to hide behind to do said chipping?

Natsumi was fine with the war being staved off for a little while, just… she didn't want what had happened to Kakashi and Sakumo in another life to happen to another family. She would be a lot happier if the bullshit excuse the other countries were going to come up with had already happened and she didn't have to sit around and not know what they were going to pull to sucker everyone into another continent spanning war.

"Natsu?" Shikaku prompted when he noticed his wife's inattention.

She gave an apologetic smile at the two males she was having tea with. "Sorry, tired. I'm thinking we're missing something, though. It just seems too neat of an excuse to drop our guard."

"I'm going have to agree with your little lady, son." The older Nara told his clan head. "We're going to have to tighten security up, even if these rumors start spreading to our own people."

"But for now," Aikido interjected firmly, eyeing her son's wife even as she poured herself more tea, "you two go on home. Are you sure you're not doing too much, Natsumi-chan?"

"Meh, I need another nap… or some actual sleep, and I'll be fine." Pausing again only to yawn, the assassin set her empty teacup down firmly. "But that sounds good right now."

Inspecting how tired she was and just how much she could hurt him at the moment, her husband cocked his head to the side with a small smirk. "Want me to carry you?"

"I'm not _that_ tired." Natsumi mocked glared at him and got up from the low table. "Shikai-san, Aikido-san. Thank you for having me over."

Shikaku echoed his wife in her verbal polite leave taking, wandering out of his parent's newer home at the edge of the Nara's forest after her once the older couple gave their own polite pleasantries. "Are you sure you don't mind if I go meet up with Inoichi and Chouza?"

"Shika, I'm exhausted." Natsumi gave her husband a lopsided grin over her shoulder. "I really can't see myself doing anything but collapsing in bed. If you have better things to do than sit around the house until you're tired, go do them. It's silly of me to expect you to watch me sleep, since you tend to do that in the morning anyways."

"Troublesome woman."

"And proud of it. If you see Minato tonight tell him I'm still alive, would you?"

The head of the Nara clan rolled his eyes at his Lady, splitting off from her on the main path through the Nara compound on his way to the compound's gates.

Natsumi rubbed at her mismatched eyes as she let herself into her home, kicking off the ninja sandals she had to replace before making her way back to the Nara compound after reporting into ANBU HQ and to the Hokage. She had managed to wear the treads off her old pair, and it looked like she would actually have to go out and replace these too because the pair she had grabbed from the general stores were a size too big for her small feet.

With the intent of maybe getting herself something to nibble on before bed so she wouldn't be starving when she woke up, Natsumi headed to the kitchen… and paused, hand drifting to her few kunai tucked in the wide belt she wore when off-duty.

Someone she didn't know was in the house. The same way she knew where the people she cared for were also let her pick up when an unfamiliar chakra got near her position.

Natsumi was pretty sure she didn't know anyone whose chakra felt like smooth cut gemstones and another that grated against her like rock grit. It didn't feel like anything Konoha would produce, but it was similar to the feel of Iwagakure ninjas she had picked up on two missions ago… and a Konoha-nin wouldn't have a reason to linger in her home without announcing themselves the moment she got in sight of the house.

"Screw the food, I'm more tired." The assassin muttered to herself to cover the pause in her movement, turning on the spot to go up the stairs.

She had her katana in the bedroom, she just hoped Shikaku didn't mind that she was about to get blood all over the upstairs hallway.

Natsumi only got halfway to her sword before the first of the stalkers in her home tried to take her down, the one that felt like rock grit. He attempted to shove the tip of his tantō into her ribs, and the assassin he was targeting only just managed to keep it from going through anything majorly important by twisting around just a few seconds too slow to avoid it entirely. He got one of her few kunai through the throat in return for the deep cut scoring her ribs.

Carefully lowering the heavily bleeding, but not yet dead, attacker to the floor silently; Natsumi hissed out a low, painful breath as she pressed a hand to the sluggishly bleeding wound. She had almost missed the man's approach and paid for it with a solid three inches of slit skin and muscle in between two of her ribs.

This had gotten off to a bad start with her walking into the ambush nearly blind, there was still another chakra source in the house she had to deal with, and she hadn't had the chance to make sure that other signal was the only one in there with her.

This was shaping up to be a night even worse than the night before her wedding.

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku easily sidestepped the slap to the back as he entered the small bar Inoichi had picked out, giving Minato a sideways look of faux disdain. "Sloppy. Natsumi said to tell you she's alive."

He grinned at the Nara, saluting him with the small saucer of sake he was holding. "Duly noted. Get the night off from your husbandly duties?"

"She said there wasn't much of a point in making me watch her sleep." The shadow master explained with a shrug as he took a seat next to a much recovered Chouza. "And if I had better things to do that I should go do them."

"You," the Yamanaka heir clapped Shikaku's shoulder after leaning over the Akimichi's back, "have a terrific wife. And you," the mind walker then pointed in the face of his fellow blond, "Natsumi's going to be pissed to learn you've just been playing along with her poking at you."

"Sempai's known I've been playing along, even if she wasn't there to see it, for a long while." Minato protested mildly, slapping Inoichi's hand away from his face. "I haven't had a problem with the jokes she cracks, her _or_ sensei, for about a _year_ now. But you know she's never happy unless _someone_ cringes at what comes out of her mouth, and with me doing it she doesn't go out of her way to find the limits on others that might take offense."

The Yamanaka's mouth hung open as he processed that. "Cheaters, the both of you. I've been just _waiting_ for her to make the wrong comment to someone just too see who jumps down their throat about it."

Shikaku cocked his head to the side and took a moment to think about that. "Well… there's Jiraiya-sama, Tsunade-sama, Sakumo-sama, Minato, me, Fugaku, Hiashi, Hizashi, you, Chouza, Kushina, Tsume, Shibi-san, Mikoto… about most of the clans in Konoha already know about her sense of humor, including the Hokage, her coworkers in ANBU maybe, most if not all the jōnin and chūnin in the village that have run missions with her… there are a whole lot of people that already know about it."

"Exactly!"

Minato snorted at him. "It would have to be either a noble or a civilian to make a complaint, and sempai is scarily well-behaved around those."

"I've seen her around Eri-sama," Chouza mused aloud, snagging the small bowl of pretzels and bringing it closer to him so he wouldn't have to lean over to reach them, "and Kakashi-kun. She is almost _proper_ acting around them."

" _That_ is more of a slight bit of hero worship." The fūinjutsu user corrected, more than a little tipsy already. "Ever see Eri-sama boss Sakumo-sama around? _That's_ why Natsumi is so respectful around her."

"That has some scary implication for my immediate home life."

Laughing at the paling Nara, Minato shook his shaggy blond head. "Naw, she might respect the kind of care it takes to mock one another like that but she doesn't want that for herself or you."

"I know the two of you joke about being siblings a lot, but _how_ do you know that?"

" _Whose_ couch do you think she and Kushina gossiped on before your wedding?" The young man asked archly, pouring himself another saucer of sake. "I've heard more about Natsumi, Kushina, and Mikoto than I really care to repeat. Though there still are a few things I still really don't want to know about-"

Halfway through Minato pouring the liquor a small spotted cat jumped on top of the table the four of them were sitting on. Shikaku, pale already from the conversation topic, blanched white under his tan when he recognized the Leopard as the first of the cubs his wife had taught to hunt. "Kenta?"

"Assassins the lady said. You're needed at the den of deer."

\V/

"I'll be _fine_ , dear. I'm just going to go to _sleep_ , you said. Little liar."

"Hey, that was the plan until I noticed the home wreckers." Natsumi sniffed, poking listlessly at the plate of hospital food given to her to eat for dinner. "… and I'm really sorry, okay?"

Shikaku heavily sighed, rubbing his scars as he slumped into the visitor chair next to his wife's bed. "I'm setting one of the clan's kunoichi in the house until your back on active duty, just so you know."

"I do _not_ need a watcher."

"Apparently, you _do_. Or did the two assassins from Iwa and the _other two from Kumo_ that just tried to take you head off not tip you off that you might need one or two?"

There wasn't much the assassin could say to that, so she just shoved the tasteless food to one side of her hospital bed's tray table and did some slumping of her own back into her pillows. "How bad off am I?"

The shadow master sighed again, reaching out one long arm and picking up the medical report clipped to the foot of his wife's hospital bed so he could read it off to her. "Clean break of the right femur. Mild blood loss. Chakra _depletion_. _Bad_ break of the right fibula, tearing of the tendons in your right knee, might not be able to walk in a straight line for about _three months_."

The assassin bit her lip hard. Had she been in another life, those injuries would have been permanently crippling for the rest of her life.

Thank kami-sama for chakra assisted healing.

"Fuck me."

"I would love to, but Tsunade-sama said no high levels of activity until the knee heals completely."

Natsumi weakly snickered. "What about Iwa and Kumo?"

"Hokage-sama's _pissed_ at both of them." Shikaku told her flatly. "Not only did they attack the wife of a clan head whose wedding he had attended himself, but they attacked an ANBU captain in her own home within Konoha and nearly succeeded in taking her head. I didn't know that you had a promotion until he told me."

The ghost eyed woman on the hospital bed blinked at him, surprised. "I didn't know either. Cool, I've been promoted."

The Nara she married rolled his eyes at her. "Yeah well, Fugaku's irritated that someone got through the security checks to try for your pretty little head. So he and Hokage-sama are going through the village's security for the next few weeks until Iwa's ambassador gets back to him with Stone's official stance on why two of their assassins were just killed in the Nara clan compound by the wife of the clan head… and why two of Kumo's assassins were killed with them, one by said wife and another by the clan head himself."

Natsumi keenly felt a possible Helen of Troy incident in the works. It probably hadn't been what Iwa and Kumo had been after in trying to make her half a foot shorter than she already was, but with her current position and knowledge of history she was afraid it might go that way.

The assassin was a good friend to a number of clan affiliated people as well as the heirs and heads to three different clans, the Uchihas, the Hyūgas, and the Yamanakas, as well as the wife to another clan's head, and where the Naras and the Yamanakas went the Akimichis went as well. That didn't include her burgeoning friendship with the alpha of the Inuzukas and the Aburames by default, Shibi hadn't yet extracted himself from Tsume's grip and she saw the stoic bug user fairly often with the brash alpha of the Inuzukas. She had also technically been a daughter to the Hatake clan, as a ward of the head of the clan for the duration of the last bit of her childhood; a well-known individual to the Sarutobi clan; and a favored guest to the last of the Senju and known by the two other sannin of the village, one of which she had been the student of.

That was all four of the founding noble shinobi clans, the two clans that had produced the Hokages and one of which had _founded_ the Village Hidden in the Leaves and was practically royalty in the village, a number of the older and more respected clans in Konohagakure, and a fair few of the highest ranked ninja in the village that would probably call her a friend at the very least.

She was also, surprisingly, rather popular to the civilians, for a kunoichi wife of a medium sized shinobi clan's head. She hadn't known it before but a few of the people who owned and worked in the stores she shopped at for groceries, presents for her friends, and her other day to day items were rather fond of her for some reason. She had the sneaking suspicion it mostly had to do with Eri, from when she had saved her life and had been nearly terrified that the wife of her taicho wouldn't want anything to do with her after the attack.

That woman had been a shopkeeper for a few of the merchants in Konoha before her marriage to one of the popular but nearly extinct clans of the village, and had the connections to ensure there was nothing but good things spread around about the teenaged kunoichi who saved her and her son from being murdered in a dispute between Hidden Villages.

Iwa and Kumo probably hadn't known much beyond her Hatake connection, seeing as she had been the one to foil the assassination attempt on Eri and that was most likely the reason why Iwa targeted her to kill this time around. Since Natsumi was both an assassin and an ANBU agent most if not all of her work was done in the shadows, where rumors were not spread around about other agents because there were rarely any survivors from operations to do the spreading, and only her kenjutsu usage was common knowledge to any and every one that wanted to know what she did for Konoha. That meant there really hadn't been much on her in the rumor mills before she kept her old ANBU captain's wife and son alive for him and there probably hadn't been anymore since then until now.

Yeah she was a jōnin, but that promotion could have been from anything, like trading favors to higher ranking shinobi to a ninja specialization that wouldn't see much combat work anyways. By the very nature of Natsumi's work for Konohagakure no Sato her abilities were not very well known outside of a small circle of friends, superiors, and ANBU coworkers; something that no longer applied to her with the two foiled assassination attempts under her belt telling more about her skills than anything else publicly known about her.

This incident would put her on the radar of any spies and rumor hunters looking to mark out Konoha's more unknown operatives. The fact that she had killed one of two of Iwa's assassins and incapacitated the other before summoning help for her own injuries while also dealing with one of Kumo's was a hot topic of gossip around the village at the moment because her husband and kouhai had all but panicked when Kenta went to fetch them and they had a messy and loud fight with the last Cloud sent assassin right in the front yard of the house. It would also probably have a lot of political repercussions the misplaced soldier was only now feeling out.

"Has that last Iwa assassin I snagged talked any?"

"Inoichi's working on it, and he's not being nice about it either."

Natsumi's lips twitched upwards at the tone of voice her husband had used. She hadn't been nice to the second Iwa assassin she had sensed, already pissed about the deep cut and blood loss she had been dealing with, and the man would probably lose a leg if T&I didn't kill him first. "Why, dear, are you _happy_ about that?"

"Yes." Totally unapologetic, the Nara picked up the apple from the fruit basket Chouza had given the assassin when he had visited earlier and bit into it. "You're the second wife of a clan head that Iwa tried to kill, and this time they had Kumo's help for it. If Minato and I had gotten there even a little later that last assassin could have killed you when you passed out from the blood loss and the chakra depletion."

Being reminded at how close she had come to dying made the ghost eyed kunoichi wince and press a hand to the healing scar on the left side of her ribcage. Natsumi was a little afraid of what may happen if she kicked the bucket again, unsure if her mental state would survive another rebirth in a world she hadn't known in either previous lives. That and she was rather attached to this one, thanks. "Sorry…"

"Why are you apologizing?"

_Cause I royally screwed up how your lives were supposed to go, maybe? No wait, I'm going to become one of the major reasons the Third War is fought over. Fun._

"I got blood all over the upstairs hallway."

"It's already washed and clean, don't worry about it."

The bedridden assassin crossed her arms under her chest and scowled out her hospital room's window. "Damn it, Shika. Let me feel guilty, would you?"

Her husband made a show of thinking about it for all of a second before shaking his head and continuing to eat the fruit his teammate had left for his wife. "Umm… no. You didn't ask for them to try and ambush you in our home and make an attempt at your neck, and I am mostly sure there isn't anything you've done recently that could be traced to you by them for the reason why other than keeping Eri-sama alive. And since I'm sure you're not feeling guilty about killing the idiots that tried to kill you, I won't let you feel guilty over nothing… unless there is something you're not telling me."

The hazards of being married to a genius. Sometimes they were too smart for her peace of mind.

Natsumi barked out a weak laugh, digging her sore shoulders even farther into the pillows behind her. "Have I told you my little theory yet? The one about the next war?"

Shikaku listened to everything she had once told Kushina, and got a small impromptu history lesson about a world gone by that couldn't stop fighting even if the lines and divides of power had been clearly defined.

"Alright… I can see why _you_ might think you're guilty, because that is a solid sounding theory to what _may_ happen shortly. But it hasn't happened yet and you didn't go out of your way to provoke either Iwa or Kumo, keeping Eri-sama alive doesn't count because that was what you were supposed to do when foreign nin go after our civilians. Therefore, _if_ a war starts over their inability to stop trying to murder the woman who marry into Konohagakure's shinobi clans it's not just because _you_ needed some help keeping yourself alive."

The misplaced soldier opened her mouth… then shut it, unable to counter that argument without letting on that she knew more than she should. "There was a saying back before, those who failed to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. I can see echoes of my history in the current events here, and have to wonder if we're going down the same road."

"And that is all fine and good, but we don't have that kind of recorded history yet to repeat." Shikaku pointed out dryly to his miserable wife. "You'll drive yourself insane… well, worse than you already are, if you keep looking for similarities between now and then. Not to mention I thought we already dealt with the past you can recall, I distinctly remember you saying it didn't matter a few years ago."

"I don't particularly want to be known for starting a _war_ , Shika."

"And you won't be." Holding up the core of the apple to keep her from interrupting, the shadow master continued in a deliberate tone of voice to keep his sometimes scatterbrained significant other focused on him. "No, you won't. Yes you're hospitalized because Iwa and Kumo tried to kill you and that may be _a_ reason Sarutobi-sama decides to no longer be nice about the killers sent into our village, but Eri-sama was another Iwa tried to kill. You're not to blame for them making the attempts, all you're to blame for is stopping them. You'll be one of two reasons if _this_ is what the next war is started over. And with all due honesty, I like you and Eri-sama alive."

It was a very twisted kind of logic. On one hand, if she hadn't been here to keep her precious people's important people alive and healthy the war would have started sooner because of Konoha and killed her old ANBU captain. On the other, being here might have started it only a little later than it had occurred in another life and she might just be the reason behind both of her husband's reasons it's occurring.

Natsumi rubbed her face, trying to straighten out her thoughts from where they had gotten twisted around in loops. "My head hurts."

"Yeah well… you frequently make my head hurt. Suffer."

The bedridden assassin laughed weakly. "I shall suffer in silence then."

"I can still hear you."

Natsumi threw one of her hospital standard flat pillows into his face.

\V/

The Hokage and the ANBU General Bear-sama were taking advantage of her recently bedridden condition by forcing her to read through personal files for ANBU, partially on the excuse that she needed to form up her own ANBU squad and some mentioned standing orders to report to them any major issues she noted in the files.

Natsumi thought the two of them were being rather mean about her so called 'accident', the official cover for being almost killed by Iwa and Kumo assassins that nearly nobody that the assassin knew believed for a moment due to the simple fact of the locations of her injuries.

A deep cut to the ribcage, two broken bones, a number of smaller cuts and bruises, one prisoner transported to T&I, and three bodies taken out of her house does not an accident make, apparently. Go figure.

Had she ever mentioned she _hated_ paperwork?

The newly promoted ANBU captain slid the file she had been reading over to the other side of her bed, picking up the next one and cracking it open to see who was inside.

She had current, past, and almost ready ANBU agents stacked up like sacks of rice next to her bed while she tried to find three other ANBU that would be able to either support her for assassinations or handle the logistics of getting in and out of other countries for said assassinations. Something she had found to be more difficult than just passing the boarders by unconventional means.

There were possibilities open; she could keep Sakumo's old main squad together and add a new man even if the shinobi who led them before had finally decided to completely retire from ANBU in order to have more time to raise his son, or pick up the ones or twos out of other squads whose captain had decided that they didn't mind giving up for a new captain. She could even make up a whole new squad out of the incoming agents. Not really something she wanted to do, but it was an option. She could mix it all up and start from a base of an agent or two she already knew and fill in the empty slots with newbies or loose ANBU agents.

At the moment, she was maybe leaning more to keeping Jackal and Horse and then maybe snagging a new field agent from the incoming rookies. Both of them had worked with her before, but they both had also known her before she was a captain and that may add some tension to the mix.

Not something you wanted when establishing yourself as a captain and also breaking in a new member.

Maybe keep just Horse? Nix Jackal, the man was as hardcore an ANBU member if there had ever been one and might resent the promotion going to a younger member of the shadow guard he had once helped trained. Horse was another lifelong member of ANBU, but the woman had started out in seduction before a mission gone strange scarred her face and she transferred to the sabotage squads using the medical skills she picked up when in recovery for the botched mission. She was pretty blasé about the command structure she was under as long as the orders didn't get anyone killed or horribly maimed. She wouldn't be keeping Tiger, Lizard, Crow, or Monkey with her own squad for the same reasons, they had already worked with her when she had just been starting out.

Natsumi leafed thought a few more files, discarding the medical support and espionage or assassination specialty ones because those rolls had been already filled. "You know, its bad manners to loom over someone's sickbed, sensei."

The Toad Sage slid over to sit on the foot of the bed, warily eyeing the files his old female student was paging through. "How did you know it was me?"

"Oil. You feel like oil."

Jiraiya's eyebrows rose up. "You can feel me? As in a chakra sense?"

"Sort of." Natsumi flapped a free hand in his direction to show he only had it half right. "It's more of an overlay on my usual senses, and I can only use it to recognize those I know well and keep track of them."

"I haven't been back since you apparently developed this, because I know you would've told me about it the last time I was here. How did you know it was me?"

The bedridden assassin finally looked up and grinned at the white haired sannin. "Because the only one Shia-chan down stairs would let through without a major ruckus and would feel like an oil to me is you, sensei. I was halfway convinced you would feel like a hot springs or maybe something perverted when I could finally get your measure."

"Ah, so you do know your husband set watchers on you." Jiraiya rubbed the underside of his jaw with one hand, taking in the brace that was keeping the reincarnated former soldier's leg straight so it could heal correctly. "I wondered about that."

"Well, it's not like I can defend myself at the moment and Shia-chan's not the only one watching me." Natsumi responded bitterly, gesturing with the file in her left hand to the brace on her right leg. "I can't even get up out of bed on my own for the next few weeks until the bones set in place, so there's an entire ANBU squad hanging around with a full Uchiha MP checkpoint just outside the gates. Can you say overkill?"

The Toad Sage cocked his head to the side at her tone. "You've never had a serious injury before, have you? It could be worse, I once had most of the bones on my left side broken. Took six months before Tsunade-hime would let me go back to active duty."

She pulled a face at him. "I know perfectly well I'm being a little bitch about this, sensei. I just _hate_ being _confined_ and _watched_."

The white haired sannin laughed at her, reaching out a hand and messing the ghost eyed woman's loose hair up. "Nice to know your that aware of it, neko-chan. Now, where are the others? I thought with you down, they would at least guard your back for you. If that Nara gaki you married skipped out to take a nap while you're down…"

"Shikaku's on mission right now, and so is Chouza and Inoichi, so you can't go after my husband with a house sized toad, sensei. Minato's got a solo C-rank for his sealing skills out in Suna, Kushina's working on her fūinjutsu again but I saw her just this morning. Fugaku and Mikoto visited yesterday, Hiashi and Hizashi are going to visit today and let me meet the girl the younger twin is going to marry. Tsume's got clan stuff to deal with, and Shibi-san won't drag himself out of his compound without the Inuzuka doing said dragging." Having run out of fingers to count down on by the second to last set of friends she had, Natsumi cocked her own head at the man who taught her half of the skills she had as a genin. "Tsunade-sama's not due to check in on me and my leg until next week, taicho and his family came by last week, and now you're here to do said guarding."

Jiraiya sniffed self-importantly. "How do you know I'm going to stick around just to guard your back if you have an entire clan to do it for you now?"

The bedridden assassin laughed at him and his posing. "Why are you in the village a few weeks early? You weren't due back until the month after next."

"Alright… I might give you that." The Toad Sage's eyes drifted back down to the braced leg stretched out before her. "How bad was it?"

Natsumi glanced up at him from the file she had been trying to reread after being distracted, following his gaze back down to her leg and sneering at the broken limb. "A clean and a bad break in the thigh and calf. Wrenched the knee pretty badly too. Other than a few other cuts and bruises, which are mostly healed up now, I did have a case of chakra depletion to deal with right after."

She finally figured out what depletion felt like. Added to the flu and starvation sensation of chakra exhaustion was a bone deep ache all over you couldn't do anything about and almost no energy to even sit up but just enough to keep you awake. It was horrifically nasty to deal with, and something Natsumi _never_ wanted to feel again.

"What's going on, sensei?"

"What do you mean?"

The assassin pulled another face, this time at the older looking man pretending to be innocent. "You had to have heard of this outside of the village, and that means something spooked you bad enough to come back, drop in, and make sure my head was still attached. How bad are the rumors getting? And what the hell was up with the rumors going around Iron Country?"

"Heard about that, huh?" Jiraiya tugged a hand through his unruly hair with a sigh. "They were misleading everyone with their ears to the ground trying to see what was going on within their villages. I think only about half of it was true."

"And my other question?"

He huffed at her stubborn insistence for more information. "Iwa put a bounty on your head. Ten thousand dead, twenty five alive so they can make an example out of you."

Natsumi slammed her head back against the headboard her pillows were stacked against, shutting her eyes for the moment. No wonder she had been promoted, assembling and training a new ANBU squad took at least a half of a year and it would keep her in the village for a good while even after she healed up from the broken bones. Hokage-sama was covering for injuries again, this time it was her turn. "Fucking _perfect_. What else?"

"Beside the small fact you're going to need to avoid the bounty hunters now? Talks with Iwa broke down just after the attempt on your life, Kumo followed them and cut off any communication with us. Hiruzen-sensei is going to send the diplomats back, with a full ANBU squad, to figure out what they are playing at before calling it either way."

The right side of the bedridden assassin's mouth pulled up. "This is just getting better and better."

"It's not your fault, neko-chan."

"I see someone talked to my husband just before he left."

"Maybe. Did manage to make you concerned over his wellbeing for a few seconds, didn't I?" Counting the small lift of the lips as a win, Jiraiya pulled a stack of papers he had bound with two wooden boards and a piece of twine. "I found this here and there, and thought you may know what it is."

Distracted from her worries, Natsumi took it simply out of curiosity and paged through it in favor of her ANBU files. "Why give it to me?"

"I don't recognize the cipher from anything I've ever seen before. I was hoping you could save me a trip to the eggheads."

The assassin blinked, cocking her head to the side as she ran it against every cipher she had ever known but unable to pick apart anything. "I don't recognize it either."

"Damn, that means I do have to deal with Intelligence."

"Poor you, sensei." She tilted her head to the other side, already distracted with trying to pick out a key to the code. "You could just leave it here and I'll ask Shikaku to look at it when he gets home."

Jiraiya hid a grin with ease, pleased that the younger looking woman had dropped the ANBU files in favor of his decoding 'problem'. "I could do that. I knew there was a reason I liked you, neko-chan."

Natsumi arched an eyebrow at him, not even looking up from the puzzling word game in her lap. "It may take a few weeks until he gets back to take said look, you know."

"Knew there would be a catch." The white haired sannin rubbed his jaw before getting up off the Nara's bed, mostly certain her husband would never get the opportunity to take a look at the cipher. "Suppose I have a reason to stick around then, don't I?"

(ooo000ooo)

Hyūga Misaki was… a very impassive seeming woman. She had the dark hair and silver, nearly metallic eyes of any Hyūga, but something was pinging off her radars as not quite civilian. She hadn't known the Hyūga clan had civilian members and was currently trying to find a polite way to ask.

Natsumi blinked a few times, floundering for something to say as she looked between the stoic Hyūga twins and the serene female Hyūga sitting between them on the couch she had managed to badger Jiraiya into moving into the bedroom for her just a little while earlier. "Uh… It's nice to meet you?"

"Likewise, Natsumi-sama."

The assassin suppressed the automatic grimace, still not used to the automatic and respectful suffix she gained marrying Shikaku. She hadn't even gotten used to being called that by her own Summons.

"Just Natsumi, please." Coming up blank on a polite way to phrase her question, she decided to just jump in the deep end for at least something to talk about. "Are you a kunoichi, Misaki-san?"

"Of course, Natsumi-san." The Hyūga woman kept on smiling serenely, and Natsumi would have almost said creepily if the woman didn't seem to genuinely radiate peace from her pores. "I specialize in body guarding noblewomen."

Oh… _oh_. The female side of the hired shinobi guards she was specifically trained to evade or kill to make it to a target. How… nice.

"That is… ironic."

Misaki blinked, changing expression for the first time Natsumi had seen to something similar to polite curiosity. "Why would you say that?"

"You do know you're visiting a bedridden assassin, right?"

Her lips twitched, and the Nara kunoichi homed in on the slight show of personality like a bee to honey.

"Ha! I knew there was some character in there." She glanced to the stony faced Hizashi sitting next to his intended wife to his twin brother who had a similar passive expression on his face. "I dearly hope you didn't just bring her around for my approval, so what's up?"

The twins exchanged a look over the other woman's head, Misaki herself simply sitting there with the same creepily polite smile. Hizashi was the one to answer. "You were not the only target of Kumo that night, Natsumi. Misaki-san herself was targeted but the attackers couldn't get close enough to the clan's compound to attempt anything."

Said woman nodded firmly, clearly having been told the Nara clan head's wife's concerns before even making the trip over to the assassin's house.

"Okay… I see someone _else_ talked to my husband before he left the village." Natsumi's lips thinned. "I know if I keep telling myself it I might end up believing that, but that's going to take time."

Hiashi slightly frowned at her for her tone. "You may not have that time, Natsumi. The ANBU squads that escorted the Iwa and Kumo ambassadors have returned to the village."

Blinking her mismatched and ghost colored eyes, the assassin stared at him for a moment then turned her head to the Hyūga woman. "Would you mind going to bother Shia-chan about some tea, Misaki-san? I'd do it myself but-"

"No need to continue, I understand." Bowing politely, the Hyūga woman rose from the couch and left the room.

"What happened?" Natsumi asked the moment the rice screen slid shut behind the woman, completely confident in the privacy seals she had inked throughout the Nara's clan head's house to keep anyone from eavesdropping in on them. She was counting the days until she no longer had to rely on the information her friends could share with her, firmly of the opinion that the day she could walk back into ANBU HQ and get her own Intel again wouldn't come fast enough.

"Both squads were attacked almost immediately after crossing the border countries, they left the ambassadors there and retreated to Konohagakure. Hokage-sama does not believe we will see our ambassadors alive again and has ordered all outgoing squads, cells, and teams to treat any shinobi with Iwa's or Kumo's hitai-ate like threats unless proven without a doubt that they wish to defect."

The bedridden ANBU captain almost bit through her lower lip. As far as figuring out the current intents of Iwa and Kumo went and what Konoha's stance would be in return, that was a pretty clear message of no tolerance.

"Hokage-sama hasn't declared war yet?"

"Unless there is another attack on us, by either village, he does not wish to." Hiashi huffed, frowning even more to the point a crease appeared in the middle of his forehead. "There are many who have expressed a wish to simply go after both villages immediately for the affronts of being caught attacking two of Konoha's clans, even if my own has not made the attempt on Misaki-san public on Hokage-sama's request."

Sarutobi Hiruzen was probably already balancing a lit powder keg with the two attacks she had foiled already. Letting the civilians and shinobi ranks know that not only were two of the less powerful but still popular clans targeted first by Iwa then by both Rock and Cloud was one thing, but one of the four noble founding shinobi clans had also been a target would probably push current public opinion into _wanting_ another war to show the other Hidden Villages that attacking Konoha's ninja clans was just a fast track to being smashed.

No wonder the Hokage had asked the Hyūgas not to make knowledge of the preempted attack public, Natsumi figured he was trying to keep the village squarely in the right for this next conflict. No one would label Konoha as bloodthirsty if she was just trying to ensure the safety of her shinobi when home within her walls.

Jiraiya had probably been recalled to assist Intelligence in formulating rumors that would reach both Hidden Villages about the consequences of another attack on Konohagakure or her shinobi. Natsumi had been suspicious of her old sensei's non-comment to her speculated motive for his return, this had just cleared up her confusion over it. He must have only heard about the rumors of an attack on the Nara clan on his way back, the assassin hadn't thought the rumors would have spread to Ame in time for the timing of the Toad Sage's return. It was still pretty cool of the older looking man to come and visit her anyways.

"Well… shit." She swore more under her breath just as Hizashi's fiancée returned with a tea tray. "Now I don't feel as bad."

"Finally."

Natsumi smiled politely at the younger of the Hyūga twins. "I have no problems throwing pillows into my husband's face, Hizashi. You are not safe even all the way over there."

The leader of the Hyūga branch house warily eyed her even as Misaki served them all some of the jasmine tea the assassin favored.

"Misaki-san? Would you like to join me and a few other clan affiliated kunoichi for tea sometime? I'm sure we can tell you some interesting things about your clan head and your intended husband."

The Hyūga woman's bland smile deepened into something that if you looked closely enough, could have been called mischievous. "I would love to join you and a few others for tea sometime, Natsumi-san. Just let me know when."

Hiding the smirk behind the rim of her teacup, the assassin watched the Hyūga twins lose a few shades of color and Hizashi looked at Hiashi in alarm.

\V/

Natsumi had healed enough to start heavily limping around her house by the time Minato returned to the village and had the usual two free days to recover and visit her before reporting back in as available. Not that she was supposed to be doing said limping, but she was tired of either reading ANBU files or trying to send poor Nara Shia to find something other than tactical manuals or ninja scrolls in the house and needed some kind of escape from her own bedroom. By the kami themselves, she would not be _carried_ in her own home. "I swear, the moment Shikaku gets back I'm sending him straight out to a bookstore."

"I could run out and find something for you, sempai."

"Minato, you would probably just bring back whatever fūinjutsu scroll that managed to distract you on the way." The assassin bluntly informed the blond who was situated behind her as they sat back to back in her front yard. Natsumi had demanded some outside time and painfully evaded both Jiraiya and Minato until they gave up to get herself some. Now she had her eyes closed and face turned up to the sun as the future Yondaime was bent over his mission report and writing the last of it so he could turn it in the next day. "Not that I would mind that… eventually, but I want something completely _brain rotting_. Fantasy stories, maybe some completely false historical accounts, hell… I'd even read a trashy _romance_ novel right about now."

Shinobi were not very good at recording history for some reason, which might have something to do with the heavily secretive nature of a ninja's life. There was more on the history of Fire Country and the series of Daimyos that ruled there than the pitiful handful of books on the how and why Konohagakure no Sato was founded, and most of those records of the establishment of the Village Hidden in the Leaves were classified beyond hell and back again and held a place in the Sarutobi and Senju clan libraries.

"You're life isn't enough of a fantasy for you?" Her almost-brother asked archly.

Natsumi had explained to him that she couldn't throw shuriken because of how unreal it seemed to even try a long time ago, and he had kept that tidbit in the little mental box he occasionally worried about when he had the time and opportunity to wonder just when the woman who had taught him a lot about taijutsu and helped him through more than just a little of the academy's tasks and homework would snap.

Minato knew Inoichi had a similar count of how many times the misplaced soldier had flinched or shied away from something when they had been academy students and genin, and he didn't even want to know if Jiraiya had something similar. She was too skilled to show that kind of hesitance now and it almost seemed like ill-wishing to keep reminding himself of the few times she had flatly refused to do something he never had a problem with when they had been younger.

He also knew the ghost eyed woman they worried over was exasperated by all of their concern, but Minato couldn't help it. Even their old genin teammate couldn't completely call her sane because he hadn't gone back through her head to actually look for any mental breakage and unless the currently recovering ANBU captain consented and Hokage-sama approved, they never would.

Humming a little, Natsumi stretched out her arms and then sighed heavily. "At the moment? I can't even _walk_ very fast. Riveting life I'm leading, huh?"

Minato laughed at her bland tone. "Bored?"

"More than just a little."

He huffed in exasperation at her. "You're supposed to be _healing_. Convalescing, taking it easy, recovering from injuries, ring any bells? I seem to recall Tsunade-sama telling you she would _break_ your other leg if you pushed yourself too hard. Your bones are not quite set yet, sempai."

"I _am_ healing. I'm just healing in the sunlight for the moment." Natsumi drove one of her elbows backwards into her kouhai's ribs, sniffing at his grunt and consecutive swearword when he smeared the wet ink on his report. "I would have been healing in the sunlight faster if you and sensei had just let me gimp my way out here."

"Sensei doesn't want a visit from his scary teammate who can shatter mountains with a pinky because neko-chan has _issues_ with being carried." Jiraiya grumped from the porch, looking up over the top of the translation the ghost eyed woman had compiled for him to eye her.

"My issues have issues, sensei. I'm pretty sure everyone here already knows that. And neko-chan has _claws_." The unapologetic assassin returned sharply. "I am no one's _pet_ to be carted around. It's another thing entirely if I couldn't do it on my own but I _can_ walk, damn it all."

"Would you refuse to be carried if you were injured on mission?"

"Hell no." Natsumi scoffed at Minato's question. "I've been carried on mission before. Matter of fact, when we needed speed back when I was just an ANBU agent before sensei snagged me out of there, Horse would carry me. I did that for half a year and countless missions in the end of the Second War. I can stand it, but I would really rather do it myself no matter how slow I am."

"…oh."

Laughing, the assassin hit the ground trying to look at her flushing kouhai. "Did you _really_ think I have a pride problem? Your faith in me is astounding." Natsumi faked sniffed, holding her hands to her face as if to cover up her face and ending up just covering her smirk. "I think I may cry."

"Why are you two making my wife cry?" Shikaku asked dryly, not bothering to figure out what was going on because he knew Natsumi was safe with her brother figure and her old teacher.

"Shika! You're home! Do me a favor?" The lame ANBU captain twisted around even more, trying to both keep her healing leg straight and look at her husband at the same time. She only continued when the man warily nodded to her question. "Go to the bookstore and find me something other than technical manuals and jutsu scrolls to read, please?"

"Why me?"

"Because Shia-chan refuses to leave the house just to find me something else for me to read, Minato would just get lost in some scroll with obscure sealing techniques and forget to bring me back something," Natsumi paused and lifted her head up just enough to look at the bemused Jiraiya before dropping her head to look back at her confused husband, "and I really don't want to know what sensei's taste in literate runs too."

"Oi!"

The Nara clan head's lips twitched, pulling upwards as he watched his wife bat her lashes at him from the ground. "Anything else, dear?"

Natsumi suddenly pouted, eyeing him and the smirk he was now wearing suspiciously. "You're going to put me back in our room, aren't you?"

"Yep. Any last words?"

Still jutting out her lower lip, the assassin turned her head just enough to peer at her kouhai's face over his left arm. "I blame _you_."

Minato blinked down at her, confused and distracted from fixing his mission report. "Wait, what?"

Shikaku huffed out a laugh before picking his pouting wife up off the ground and throwing her over his shoulder. "I don't want to know."

\V/

"You are not handing our _four_ -year-old son a _sharp blade_ and teaching him to _throw it_ at people, Sakumo."

Natsumi paused in the doorway at the sharp tone in Eri's voice. Uh oh… this didn't sound good.

Poking her head into the Hatake clan compound kitchen, the assassin spotted her blank faced old ANBU captain and the sheepish silver haired boy standing right next to him across from the very irritated woman standing in the middle of the room. Before she could say anything, Sakumo flicked his fingers at her in his personal version of the standard hand signs, telling her in vague signals to wait in the hallway for the target.

Hand signs in Konoha only had a general set, shinobi were expected to develop their own personal signs over the course of their careers. A ninja's personal signals started in the standard set taught to genin and developed outward, picking up slight variations due to the work they do or the situations they've seen. You could tell a lot about a shinobi or kunoichi by the influences on their personal codes, how much work they did in ANBU or T&I, which type of missions they tended to be sent out on, the friends or coworkers they preferred to socialize with.

Sakumo had a set that started out in T&I and remained strong in the terms used by a lot of espionage specialists, he had the heavy influence on tracking vocabulary and the occasional ANBU influenced term or sign. Which told Natsumi that her old taicho probably had started in either Intelligence or Interrogation and worked a lot with Jiraiya before he started being sent out on tracking missions, evolving into his infiltration work in ANBU. The older looking man's hand signs would develop even more over the next few years, probably picking up a stronger vocabulary in combat terms if he continued to pick up jōnin level combat likely missions.

That would be, of course, if Eri didn't find a way to kill him first.

They, being the shinobi that saw Kakashi a lot, were rapidly running through everything they could to teach the brilliant, genius level four-year-old boy that the civilian woman who was his mother wouldn't protest his learning. He had the basics of his father's tracking skills and the Hatake's basic katas, Natsumi's stretches and taijutsu tricks, a grounding in Shikaku's tactical strategies, Kushina's calligraphy tips and chakra control hints, Minato's beginner sealing skills, Mikoto's genjutsu basics, Hiashi's and Hizashi's poker faces, Inoichi's soft interrogation skills and Fugaku's version of them.

There wasn't much more of any ninja basics they could give him and the sliver haired boy had started working his way up to the moderate skills of each subject even without them teaching him most of it, leaving very little room to keep the kid happily occupied and not bored out of his skull.

She was relatively sure the son of her old ANBU captain would still be going to the academy early even with his mother's concern delaying his enrollment a year or so, because there just wasn't enough they could teach him without having the child swear to Konoha's shinobi code to protect and serve the village with his skills. She had plans to let the kid in on the old method of picking specialties the academy graduates of the Second Great Shinobi War, it would at least keep him somewhat occupied for hopefully a year or two if not interested in the lesson plans.

Kakashi slipped out into the hallway with her, gray eyes flicking back to the kitchen before the boy reached his sister figure. Natsumi picked him up, setting him on her left hip before silently limping out of the house to where Shikaku was waiting for her and the Hatakes for the now infrequently held informal meetings between a fair few clan heads, their closes advisors, and a few other noteworthy shinobi of Konoha.

The man blinked at the sight she and Kakashi made before reaching out and taking the heavy child from his wife, who shouldn't have been lifting any weight with her still weak right leg. "They're going to be a bit?"

"Yeah. You okay there, Kashi-chan?"

Even if he had already started protesting her use of her babyish nickname for him, the silver haired child just silently nodded under her hand ruffling his hair.

Natsumi sighed, tugging a few unruly hanks of the kid's hair. "It'll be fine. This isn't the first time something from your tou-sama's life clashed with something of your kaa-chan's expectations."

Her husband winced at the news. "This'll take a bit then?"

"Probably." The assassin carefully lowered herself to the ground, biting her thumb and flicking her fingers in the series needed to Summon one of her felines before slamming her hand on the ground.

Kenta glanced around and sneezed from the smoke produced by burning chakra once he was sure there wasn't an immediate or stealthy need for him. "Something wrong, Natsumi-sama?"

"I need you to hunt down Minato and tell him we'll be a little later than planned." Scratching under the big cat's chin, Natsumi smiled at her favorite Summons. "Please?"

The Leopard huffed, nipping at her fingertips before turning on the spot and stalking off.

"I'm pretty sure that's a breach of your Contract, dear." Shikaku drawled out, smirking at her over Kakashi's head. "I don't think Tamika-sama will appreciate you sending her minions off on your personal errands."

The ghost eyed woman sniffed haughtily at him, grabbing his leg to just as carefully haul herself upright again. "This is tracker training in nonviolent conditions, Kenta even agrees with me."

Kakashi finally cracked a small smile, tugging at the Nara's arms to be put down so he could inspect the charka scorched ground where Natsumi summoned the young feline to. "Tou-sama said Dogs are better."

"Taicho is entitled to his opinion," the assassin stuck her nose in the air, "but it is still an _opinion_ , not _fact_."

"I don't think you're going to gain ground here, Natsu." Tugging the shorter woman's braid, Shikaku grinned at her annoyed expression. "Konoha is mainly canine territory."

His wife pouted at him with narrow, mismatched eyes. "My cats are awesome. It's not my fault if no one else can see it."

Kakashi snickered, brushing off his dirty hands on his pants legs and looking up at the assassin with a toothy grin. "I think dogs are better."

Natsumi wrinkled her nose at him. "And now I'm tempted to indoctrinate you into the feline way of thinking."

"You are not brainwashing my son, neko-chan." Sakumo poked her on the forehead before shutting his front door behind him. "Eri will just be a few moments more."

"That was quick, taicho. How long have you been sentenced to the dog house this time?" The assassin put the long suffering Shikaku between herself and the annoyed older looking man, grinning the whole time. "Already injured, can't abuse."

"I'll lock her in a room with you when she's cleared for active duty if you keep her on the injured lists and at home." The Nara clan head offered idly, a sly smirk stealing over his face when his wife huffed at him and punched his arm.

"So?"

"Eri's not happy with me, but she now knows we're running out of things to teach him." Rubbing the back of his neck with one hand the head of the Hatake clan set his other on his son's head. "We'll be _discussing_ teaching him to handle weaponry later tonight."

"Good luck?" Natsumi offered uncertainly, biting her lower lip.

Neither Eri nor Sakumo had survived in the story she could only hazily recall, so she didn't know if they could work out the differences between civilian life and Konoha's shadow military habits between themselves. She did recall from her last life that mixed marriages of civilian and military didn't tend to work out well very often, keeping secrets from your spouse and living with a killer didn't tend to make for good relationships.

There was always the few exceptions to those rules, and she desperately hoped her second favorite couple would be one of them… for Kakashi's sake if not their own.

(ooo000ooo)

Eri was by no means settled when she joined her family and the Nara couple for the trip to the Sarutobi clan compound. Natsumi chose to walk with the older looking woman, leaving her husband to walk with the civilian woman's shinobi husband and her son. "Are you alright?"

"Not going to try and convince me this is for the best too?" Eri gritted out lowly, narrowed eyes on the path they were taking.

"You're his kaa-chan, it's not my right to say anything about how you and taicho raise your son." Linking their arms partly to comfort the woman and partly for the support for her right leg, the assassin worriedly glanced at the woman's taut and drawn face. "I would just like to know how you are feeling right now."

"Pressured."

"Fair enough."

Eri didn't last five minutes in silence before spilling what was worrying her to the kunoichi. "Why do you want to teach him to do this now? I thought I would be losing him when he goes to the academy in four years, not now when _he's_ four."

"I never looked back once Minato and I left the academy… but we were orphans, Eri-san. No parents. Kakashi-kun has both of you, and even genin don't leave their home unless they stay at that rank for years. Sometimes not even at chūnin do ninja leave home."

"I'm surprised you're not trying to do your psychological double talk to get me to agree to this."

Natsumi nodded slowly, unsurprised at the bitter comment. "I have the feeling you wouldn't appreciate it."

The civilian woman laughed, but it wasn't a happy one. "No, I wouldn't. Thank you for not doing it."

"You're welcome."

Eri nibbled on her lower lip, and the assassin finally figured out who she had copied that habit from. "How did you start down this road, if you didn't have someone at home to send you to the academy?"

"All orphans are sent to the academy first. If you fail out, for either little to no chakra or too few usable skills, you get sent to be apprenticed for some trade skill or sent to the civilian schools."

"You don't have a choice in it?"

She frowned thoughtfully. "I suppose I could've purposely failed out of the academy, but I don't see a reason why I'd want to."

"Of course you don't." The civilian woman patted the assassin on the arm. "I worry that Kakashi is just going along with all of it because of you all expecting him to be a ninja."

"Aa… okay."

Eri shot her a suspicious look. "You're going to tell Sakumo about our conversation, aren't you?"

Natsumi merely smiled slyly. "He won't hear a word from me, Eri-san."

Her old ANBU captain didn't need to hear about his wife's worries from the assassin, he had already heard every word his wife spoke even if he had been talking with Shikaku a ways behind the two of them.

Marks of the Dog Summoning Contract included sharp canines, a sensitive sense of smell, and acute hearing.

\V/

Two and a half months after being attacked in her own home, Natsumi was let back on active duty with the understanding that she had two weeks to prove that the attack in her home hadn't shaken her confidence in her ninja skills to be let back on ANBU duty.

Minato decided he wanted to run a mission with her, obstinately to keep an eye on her recovery and to make sure she didn't reinjure her leg being reckless.

Natsumi wanted to know in what reality she had ever been reckless on mission.

Her kouhai wouldn't meet her eyes as they consulted the jōnin assignment hall's wall of missions for something inside Fire Country that would fit the assassin's needed criteria to prove she was fit for duty. The ghost eyed kunoichi bit back her ire and pointed at a border inspection. "What about that one?"

"Should work." Her annoying brother figure mused aloud. "Want to pick up a few others for backup?"

"Why? It's an _inspection_." Snatching the mission tag off the wall, the assassin inspected the file number stamped on the back of it to match it with the corresponding Intel in the file cabinets. "Worse thing that will happen is we'll meet some nuke-nin out across the border trying to knock over one of the more remote villages."

Minato took the tag from her to look at the general mission parameters while she got the more specific details and the relevant Intel reports. "It's a long mission, sempai. Just so we're not alternating being asleep or on watch every other day is a good reason to take some chūnin with us."

Running the whole length of Fire Country would take at least three weeks at a good pace set for chūnin, added in the time to do the inspections of all the outposts along the way they were already looking at nearly a month long mission if they added more personnel. As long as they didn't run into enemy activity along the way, that is. Natsumi really didn't want to be out of the village that long for something that wasn't an ANBU mission.

"Adding chūnin would just make the mission longer."

"You are still on the injured lists for at least another week. Some of that time would just be getting you back to fighting form." He shot back patiently, tapping the wooden tag on the table the assassin had spread out the intelligence reports on. "We can pick up a taijutsu specialist to help you out, as well as a medic-nin just in case."

She would've protested the idea of an iryou-nin if the mission hadn't needed them to get close to the border Countries nearest Earth and Lightning. The relations between Iwa and Kumo in regards to Konoha was still as frosty as an Iron Country winter storm and now every mission getting close to either country had the standard warning of high level combat possible. Meaning that possible medic wouldn't just be there for her, he or she would be there for the whole team. "So a tai specialist, a medic, anything else you want to bring along?"

"Backup for the taijutsu user?"

"We're going to have one hell of a footprint out there."

"It's not a stealth mission, sempai. There isn't a reason to conceal our presence much more than the usual reasons."

Natsumi sighed, pouting at the faintly grinning blond across from her. "I miss ANBU."

"One more mission, Natsu." Minato gathered up the intelligence reports to be refiled since they were taking the mission. "Go and make the team request."

With a huff, the assassin got up and walked over to the mission desk with the wooden tag.

(ooo000ooo)

Mebuki pounced on her boyfriend with her mission scroll in hand. "Jōnin! We're running a mission with two jōnin, Kizashi!"

Patting the woman on the arm, her easygoing significant other smirked as they walked out of the Chūnin Corps assignment hall. "You don't say."

"We impress them and they might put a recommendation in our files to get out of the Corps!" The blonde taijutsu specialist whooped. "Tokubetsu jōnin, or even _full_ jōnin. Think about it."

Kizashi snagged his copy of the mission scroll out of his girlfriend's weapon pouch. "Which two jōnin? We're not babysitting some Intel paper pushers, are we?"

"Nope, not Intelligence." The purring voice had both chūnin twisting around to see the short, dark haired, ghost eyed woman and the blond haired, blue eyed man standing over her right shoulder. "Kenjutsu and fūinjutsu specialists."

The redheaded chūnin winced, rubbing at the stubble under his chin. "Ouch. Sorry."

"Shush." Stomping on his toe, the green eyed taijutsu user smiled blandly at the two higher ranking shinobi waiting on them. "Kokkali Mebuki, ma'am. Taijutsu specialist."

The jōnin kunoichi smirked at their antics. "Nara Natsumi, kenjutsu specialist. The lout behind me is Namikaze Minato."

"Err… Haruno Kizashi, ma'am. Trap specialist."

The assassin blinked at him. Haruno Sakura's father was a shinobi?

Looking between the red haired man and the blonde woman next to him, the misplaced soldier noted the woman had some clear green eyes and had the same face as the pink haired medical ninja. Huh… maybe both parents were shinobi?

"Mission is probably going to take us at least a month and some weeks, so plan accordingly."

"Natsumi just got off the injured lists, so we'll be starting off slow." Minato slung an arm over the shorter woman's shoulders. "And we'll have an iryou-nin with us. Meet at the main gates with mission packs tomorrow at dawn's break."

Mebuki and Kizashi nodded sharply, passing the jōnin pair to assemble what they would need for an extended mission.

Natsumi sighed, grabbing Minato's left hand and bending the pointer finger back until the arm fell off her shoulder. "Who's the medical specialist?"

"Tsunade-sama's picking someone."

Turning to inspect her kouhai's expression, she peered at him suspiciously. "You tipped her off we were getting one of her iryou-nins, didn't you?"

"Nope. Shikaku did."

Natsumi huffed. "You all need to stop, I'm starting to feel like a glass doll."

(ooo000ooo)

Nara Shia was their medical-nin.

Natsumi cracked up when she spotted the young kunoichi that had watched over her recovery waiting for them to depart for the mission.

Minato sighed at the Nara almost bent double. "Any time now, Natsu."

Still snickering, the assassin backhanded him in the gut. "Wow. The things you learn even before you leave on missions."

"Shikaku-sama was clear on his instructions that you not be informed of my specialization when I was assigned to you for your recovery, Natsumi-sama." The younger kunoichi simply shrugged blandly at her clan head's lady wife and gave her a lazy grin. "I hope you are not too annoyed with me."

"I'm impressed you managed to keep that from me for almost three months." Natsumi rubbed her eyes, still grinning widely. She had never suspected it, she had thought the younger woman had been a bodyguard or something. The Nara clan did have a long history in medical research and it really was something she should've guessed at without being told otherwise. "You ready, Shia-chan?"

"Yes ma'am." The iryou-nin patted the apron most medics used to hold the tools of their trade for long missions.

"Wait, does that mean you're the new lady of the Nara clan?" Mebuki asked, looking from the long suffering blond fūinjutsu user to the kenjutsu using kunoichi. "The one that was almost killed by Iwa and Kumo a few months back?"

The assassin blinked at her a few times, surprised. "You didn't make that connection when we met the first time? Usually it's the eyes that people recognize and put to the rumors."

She flicked her green eyes up at her boyfriend's red hair, which was styled out in the pattern of a five petal sakura blossom. "I don't tend to notice those things, honestly."

"Point." Natsumi agreed with a nod and a lopsided smirk and a sideways look to the same feature. "Shall we get started then? Minato's leading, you two flank Shia and I'll bring up the rear."

\V/

Missions that Konoha decided needed to be done were kind of like the guard duty from her last life. Mostly boring and routine, since these kinds of missions were more about ensuring the Leaf's and Fire Country's security than killing off threats to the village and sneaking in and out of other countries.

Natsumi learned that Mebuki _was_ really good at taijutsu three weeks into the mission, though. She wasn't nearly as fast as Minato or as devious as the ANBU captain herself, but it was almost as fun as facing off with one half of the Hyūga twins back when they had all been chūnin.

The short haired blonde kunoichi was game for the challenge of keeping up with the recovering assassin's taijutsu, but by the time they passed the halfway mark for their mission had to admit to her boyfriend if not the two Naras on the team or their blond mission leader that there was still a wide gap between the two of them. She did want to know where the physically older kunoichi had picked up the style from.

Natsumi tugged the end of her braided hair as she thought while the team was on a break, since they were making good time between outposts. "Honestly? I've forgotten a lot about it. I was told my kaa-san taught it to me, but I know the style is unfinished and rough in places. I've never had the time to work on it and I wouldn't know even where to begin to polish it into an actual style of taijutsu."

"I could tell, even from what little you needed to kick my ass around." Mebuki mused, staring at the assassin thoughtfully. "Would you mind teaching me? I think I can polish it up for you."

"Um… if you want?" The older of the two Naras frowned slightly. She had never thought to see what a taijutsu specialist had thought of her old combatives based taijutsu. It worked for her, and that was really all she had cared about. "Don't know when I'm going to have the time, I've got some work that had to be put on hold for my recovery that I need to get to once we're back in Konoha."

"Maybe you should think of dropping something?" Minato asked her dryly.

Natsumi pulled a face at him. She knew her kouhai wasn't very happy that she went back to ANBU even after they had made jōnin, annoyingly enough their sensei agreed with him and the both of them reminded her of it every moment they could. "Hush you. I know what I'm doing."

He flicked his eyes down to her right leg pointedly.

She stuck her nose in the air. " _That's_ not from _that_ , thank you very much. And if taicho could do it as a clan head, I can do it as the wife of a clan head."

"He was the only one in his clan, and he stopped once he wasn't anymore."

"You _think_ he did. I _know_ better."

Kizashi blinked, confused, looking between the two jōnin. "Do what?"

Natsumi smiled mischievously. "This and that."

She would have added more just to tease the redhead since he was really cool with anything poking at him… but something brushed the very edge of her senses. The reincarnated woman couldn't place what it was, she was too poor a sensor for that.

"Minato? You're better than I am."

Her kouhai pressed two fingers to the ground, frowning. "I got two closing in fast. Jōnin level."

"Hide yourselves, now." The assassin snapped at the three lower ranking shinobi after biting down on her thumb and twisting her fingers in a now familiar jutsu. Natsumi jerked her head at Kenta, her favorite Summons, and the teenaged Leopard slunk off to guard the others just in case.

The assassin stayed low in a crouch and Minato stood straight up, staring off in the direction he had picked up the chakra signals in. Her kouhai palmed his three-pronged kunai as her hand drifted to the hilt of her katana.

"Wouldn't do that, cats. Or we'll stomp you like rats."

Minato looked up into the trees, frowning faintly at the heavily muscled, dark skinned but light haired man wearing goggles and a vast number of swords on his back standing on a low branch. "Well… that's a first. I've never been rhymed at before."

"I have. Hime thought it would be funny to speak in nothing but rhymes for a whole day once." Natsumi interjected idly, not moving a muscle. Her kouhai had said there were two after all. "Where's your little friend, big guy?"

"Wouldn't you like to know. I have a feeling it would be better to show." Jumping down to the ground, and landing with a solid thud, the man straightened up to tower over even the assassin's six foot and change tall younger brother in all but blood.

Natsumi sprang upright and used the flat of her sword to block the kunai on collision course with her kouhai's head. "Hello to you too."

The shinobi that had tried to sneak up on them was built similarly to the first one, but there was enough different between the two that the assassin was unsure if they were family or not.

"I'm pretty sure this is Fire Country… unless I'm wrong, sempai?" When Natsumi didn't answer him the blond fūinjutsu user turned his attention back to the first man. "And you two are from Lightning from the looks of the Kumo symbols carved into your hitai-ate. So, what the hell are you doing in our home territory?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." The second man sneered acidly at them.

"Yo bro! Ditch the losers and let's go!"

The crackle of lightning had the hair on the assassin's arms standing straight up and she darted out of the way and to the second shinobi to show up. Trusting her kouhai to get out of the way at the very least as she distracted the other man with her katana blade to his face. He used the padded Kumo standard arm braces to turn the edge of her blade away from him on her way past him, and although she managed to hack a good gouge into his bracer she didn't hit him at all. "Damn, you're fast. Not going to save you, little girl."

Natsumi smirked at him, taking one hand off the hilt of her sword to palm the hiraishin kunai her kouhai had badgered her into carrying for the mission. "I don't have to be fast, sweetheart. That's his job."

Throwing the kunai and purposely missing the man, she only had enough time to wink before the seal pulled her in another direction.

Basically, she and Minato switched opponents without letting them in on the switch.

The larger of the two Kumo-nin didn't have enough time to bring up either padded forearms to block the kunoichi's next swing. She scored a good hit on the man's bicep, not quite striking bone but deep enough he had to staunch the bleeding with his other hand and limiting the effectiveness of anything else he could pull off now.

At least, it should have.

Natsumi's ghost colored and mismatched eyes narrowed on the faint steam rising off the wound she had scored. Something about that was tickling the back of her mind and made her wary of accepting anything she would normally assume about her current opponent. Usually that little tickle meant she was missing something. "The hell?"

Minato ended back to back with her after exchanging a few blows with the slighter of the two Kumo shinobi. "Something wrong, sempai?"

"I think he might be healing already."

The larger of the two grinned at her. "Smart lady. Look, it's already fading."

He lifted the bloodstained hand off his bicep to show a slowly closing cut, not nearly as bad as it had been when Natsumi had just cut him open.

"So, if I slice you up enough times will that slow down?" The assassin tilted her sword so both of them could see the man's blood run down the edge of her blade. "I'm game to find out if you are."

"B, I think we overstayed our welcome." Shouted the smaller of the two, rubbing the back of one hand across his mouth to mop up the blood Minato drew by smashing his fist into the Kumo-nin's face. "Let's kill them and get out of here."

"You'll find that a bit harder than you think." Minato told them evenly, pulling a few more of the three-pronged kunai out of the kunai pouch strapped to his thigh. "I'm sure neither of us are injured yet."

B finally grabbed the hilts of two of the swords stacked up on his back, scowling at the two of them. Natsumi didn't really want to cross swords with him, lightning chakra _could_ be channeled through the steel in a katana's blade as she learned from sparring with her own taicho. Instead she defaulted to the same trick that made the silver haired retired ANBU captain to glare at her when she did it, the water bullets she no longer needed hand signs to spit.

The one labeled B cursed as the bullets he cut apart sprayed him with water, recognizing what she had been aiming for only when he was sopping wet. "That's dirty pool, girl."

Natsumi batted her lashes at him. "So is attacking a patrol thinking you'd get away easy and free, boys."

The wet Kumo shinobi smirked at her. "You're kinda cute, little kitty cat. But sheath those claws before we go get the dogs."

"Did he just hit on me?" The assassin asked, surprised and slightly disgusted. "What the hell, man? I'm married!"

Minato's right eye twitched. "Natsumi, settle down. I'm sure he didn't mean it how it sounded."

"Natsumi?" The still unnamed second Kumo shinobi asked, looking at the shorter woman's eyes when she turned her head to glare at him. "You wouldn't happen to be _Nara_ Natsumi, would you? There's a pretty penny on your head set by Iwa."

"You'd have to take my head first to collect that," the now vastly annoyed assassin quipped, "and I'm not betting anything that you two can take us on and win."

Minato didn't add a word, and the ANBU captain knew he was more annoyed with himself for actually using her name rather than at the two Kumo shinobi now looking to take her head. He started the next exchange now that they were finished testing each other to see if it would be an easy fight or not, tossing the hiraishin kunai in his hand at B's head and flashing to catch it once the Kumo shinobi simply tilted his head to let it pass him by. Natsumi didn't wait to see what else her kouhai was going to pull on the ninja, she spun to keep the shorter of the two from sucker punching her in the gut and flashed her sword at the man's face again.

She missed him but sheared off some of the man's hair off and returned the sucker punch with a kick that connected with the man's ribs. In return he managed to dig a Kumo standard kunai into the meat of her right thigh before the force of her chakra assisted Brazilian jujitsu kick knocked him into a nearby trunk.

"Fuck." Natsumi hissed, flexing her right leg to make sure the kunai wasn't lodged in her femur again. "Now I'm getting pissed. That just healed up."

He sneered at her as he pushed himself up, but he was distracted by something behind her.

The assassin shifted her katana so the mirror polished blade could reflect what was going on for her while also keeping an eye on the man in front of her, and smirked at the sight of B being held down at Minato's kunai point. "Well, isn't that a pretty sight."

"B, I think it's time we go."

"Sorry Blondie. Time to go." B dove forward to get the point of the three-pronged kunai off the back of his neck, spinning around once he had the purchase on the ground to do so and barreling past the ghost eyed woman who barely scratch him with the tip of her sword. He snatched up the slightly shorter man and took off from the clearing without a backwards look.

Natsumi let herself hit the ground, scowling at the metal sticking out of her thigh. "Well… at least they didn't break my bones this time."

Placing his hand to the ground again to track the two out of Fire Country, Minato did a bit of frowning himself. "Damn. I wanted to know what they were doing here."

"I might be able to answer that." Flicking her hand, the Yin release based illusion she had placed on the ground faded away. Leaving behind the white, over the shoulder fastened Kumo jōnin vest. "If they are any type of organized, that is."

"They might come back for that."

"In my defense, I hadn't been stuck with a kunai when I cut it off the shorter one."

Blue eyes flickered over to her. "Call Kenta and the others back. I'll take a look through and we'll leave it here."

Natsumi was perfectly content to leaving the snooping to her kouhai, as a fūinjutsu user he was used to looking twice for any traps in the things he handled. She just flared her chakra to call her Leopard back to her, and hopefully bring Shia with him to take a look at her thigh. In the meantime, the assassin pulled a few copies of the various bingo books she had acquired in ANBU. She had one possible name and two descriptions as well as village of origin, it should be enough to narrow down who they were really and why it was something about B pinged her radar.

Minato cursed quietly, not finding anything in the Kumo jōnin vest. "Nothing here, sempai."

"Found out who they were, though." Natsumi waved her beaten up copy of Kirigakure no Sato's bingo book at her kouhai. "The Raikage's son, A, was the shorter of the two. B, or rather Killer B, is the jinchūriki of the eight-tails. They're tag-team taijutsu partners. Don't think we're going to get away with the switch again now that they've seen it once."

Killer B was also one of Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto's teachers in the ways of being a jinchūriki, in the far possible future and just before the Fourth Great Shinobi War. The assassin wanted to kick herself for not connecting the dots right before the fight had progressed to the second exchange of attacks aimed to kill one another, a demon container was not something she ever really wanted to fight seriously.

He frowned at the book in her hand. "Then it's time for us to leave. How close are Kenta and the others?"

Since her summons had a trace of her own chakra in them, Natsumi could pinpoint them even without having Minato's range. She pointed to the south. "That way. Can you piggyback me?"

Nodding once, the fūinjutsu user took three strides over to the seated assassin and swung her to perch on his back. "Hold on, sempai."

"Wait. Do you mean you-" She didn't even have the time to finish asking her question, Minato used hiraishin to get them to the medic who he had planted one of his seals onto near the beginning of the mission. "-you suck, kouhai."

The three humans in the clearing whirled around at the sound of the ANBU captain's voice, Shia immediately homing in on the kunai still sticking out of her lady's thigh. "What happened?"

The blond who was technically the mission leader jerked his head at the taijutsu user and the trap specialist. "Watch our backs, but keep close. We're moving as soon as Natsumi's good to run."

"They missed the bone, thankfully. That would have set you back a few weeks in recovery, Natsumi-sama."

She huffed irritably, scowling at the kunai the iryou-nin pulled from her thigh. "Heal it so we can at least get to the next outpost. I'll let you sit on me there if it means I can go back to what I was doing once we're home."

"I want that in writing."

Natsumi stuck her tongue out at Minato, accepting the hand up Shia offered. "Let's go. Kenta!"

The Leopard leapt down out of the trees, brushing up against the assassin's right mostly to reassure himself it wasn't serious. "Natsumi-sama?"

"I'm going to need you to take a message to Hokage-sama later tonight. Do you want to hang around or be re-Summoned later?"

The first Leopard Summons she had ever taught to hunt eyed the fresh bloodstain on the bandage Shia had wrapped around her leg. "I will remain, Natsumi-sama."

"Mebuki, Kizashi, we're leaving." Minato called out to the remainder of their team once he was sure the ghost eyed woman's leg could support her weight.

\V/

Shikaku woke when a very familiar sound of the shower turning on reached him. Getting up, he padded his way into the bathroom and slid into the shower stall behind his newly returned wife.

"You know, one of these days I'm going to _accidently_ stab you for trying to sneak up on me." Natsumi turned her head just enough to give him a less than impressed look when he reached over her shoulder to adjust the shower head higher.

"No you won't. You always know when I'm here so it wouldn't be an accident." Looping an arm around her waist and pulling her backwards, the clan head of the Naras looked down her body for any new scars and found the short and puckered one in the outside of her thigh. "Ouch."

He traced it with his other hand, making sure the ghost eyed kunoichi wouldn't confuse it for another.

"A Kumo shinobi stabbed me with a kunai. The next Raikage even, I think." Frowning, the assassin repositioned the shower head again back to where she had it before. "Don't do that, I'm cold."

"Well, it _is_ winter. Why didn't you just come to bed?"

"If you hadn't noticed, it's raining outside." She hadn't thought she would miss actual snowstorms, but the powdered ice would be preferable to the sleet Konoha winters were known for. At least then only her feet would freeze, and she had no problems shoving her cold feet on her husband as long as they weren't wet. "And I was trying not to wake you up."

"Wet wife. Can't expect me to pass that up."

Natsumi huffed a dry laugh. "Nice to know I'm appreciated."

Shikaku hummed as he turned her around and wrapped his arms around her waist, frowning when she dug her still freezing fingers into his back to warm them up faster. "How was the mission? Besides very cold."

"Ran into Kumo about two weeks ago and couldn't figure out what they were doing in Fire Country. Iwa's pressing the borders, they actually managed to wipe out one of the outposts without alerting the nearby posts overnight when we were out there." The assassin sniffed, trying to warm up her nose with the steam starting to fill the room. "That's why we're a week late coming back… well, that and little Shia-chan decided I needed to fully heal from the stab wound before we left for the next guard station."

"We had another run in with Iwa while you were gone, too. Hokage-sama decided to take the issue to their door."

"What did they do?"

"T&I think they were just bounty hunters after you, but they claimed Iwa as their village so…"

Konoha was pulling the bullshit excuse? Huh. Well, they had killed a few Konoha ninja out on the border. Serves them right. "Ballsy bounty hunters."

"Come on." Shikaku reached over her to turn off the water. "I've got a better plan to warm you up than letting you boil your skin off."

"Kinky." Natsumi flared her chakra. Since her chakra was suiton based she could cheat and use it to keep herself dry if she didn't mind the drain on her reserves.

The Nara raised an eyebrow at his dry arm. "I'm not sure you're supposed to be able to do that."

"What, dry you off?" The assassin circled an arm around him and flexed her chakra again. The water peeled off his skin just as it did when she did it to dry off quickly. "Works just fine."

"Huh."

"Don't tell me I managed to distract you with a chakra trick. That's just sad, Shika."

He gave her a lopsided smirk. "Fine. Bed time."

Her eyes widened, but she didn't have time to back up or evade her husband as he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. "It's like, five feet to the bed!"


	7. Guard Duty and Momentum

_Because the victors write the history, and if you didn't like the reality there is a really long precedent for writing your own version in ancient Egypt._

_Right next to de Nile River._

* * *

Since Namikaze Minato, Nara Natsumi, Kokkali Mebuki, Haruno Kizashi, and Nara Shia had been gone from Konoha for over two months, they each were allowed a week of downtime before they had to report back into the Hokage's Tower to get back on the active duty roster.

Downtime after missions was what most shinobi used to recover physically from longer than normal missions and partially time used to ensure their mission reports were finished and turned in before picking up another mission scroll. The assassin used the first of her free days to dump off the ANBU files she had been given to read up on; finalize part of her squad build so the other two ANBU agents would be told where and when to meet up with her; and then catch up with the intelligence reports available to ANBU captains. Mostly to check over where and when any further conflicts had occurred for the half a year she was injured and out of the village on mission for.

Panther easily found the reports on the bounty hunters claiming Iwa as their contact village her husband told her about the night before, they hadn't even reached the half-way point between the main gates and the Nara clan compound before they had been taken down by the Uchiha Military Police initially for 'suspicious behavior'. She was also idly amused at the reports with Minato's name on them and some of what she was mostly sure was toad slime around the edges, the ones citing their brief confrontation with the two high profile Kumo nin at the Fire/Grass border that happened nearly a month ago.

It was still rather early yet, the sun had not risen high enough to peek over the village's walls to light up the records room enough to be sure it was toad slime and not mold or something else in the cabinets leaking out.

What wiped the amusement from her mind were the filed plans to kick off the Third War.

She had intended to give it another day or two before tracking down her old sensei herself, it was unusual to say the least that the man had remained in the village ever since she had been placed on recovery for her leg's injuries and not checked up on his old students since they returned from the two month long mission. Natsumi had been mostly sure the Toad Sage had still been in the village too, there wasn't the usual amount of gossip going around speculating on what the white haired sannin was getting up to this time that marked the departure of her old genin sensei from the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

If what she was reading was right though, the man that had been her strongest supporter, after Minato and Inoichi of course, during her genin career was already halfway to Kusagakure no Sato by now.

The official story would be that he was following up on a report two of his three students had sent back to Konoha, about the higher than expected amount of conflict the border posts were experiencing. He would snag an old mission partner and one of his famous teammates, Sakumo and Tsunade, just in case and set out with the Hokage's blessing. The plans then call for the three of them to loiter about until Iwa made another attempt at knocking down some of the guard posts she had spent two months inspecting.

Since Minato had the inspection team start at the corner of Fire Country that bordered the Land of Hot Water and the seas of the former Land of Whirlpool, a location nearly due west of the Village Hidden in the Leaves and about a week and a half away by civilian travel time or three days by shinobi tree running, the team had reached the edge of Kusagakure only a third of the way through their mission. Taking that into account, Sarutobi Hiruzen and Jiraiya should have gotten the news of the border attacks about when the team had passed most of Rain and started edging into the southern end of Fire Country that edged the Land of Rivers about a week later, given the time the team had spent letting the misplaced soldier recover from her stab wound.

Which meant the Toad Sage, a retired ANBU captain, and the Slug Princess should either be at the border posts under attack by now or close to it.

The moment Rock tried anything again, they would get two of the three sannin and her taicho in their face _noisily_ knocking their teeth out. It would also be harder to refute the claims that Iwa was the aggressor with two such high profile shinobi claiming the same thing; a master spy's word alone might be a little iffy but with the highest skilled medic in Konoha and a well-respected Leaf jōnin both claiming the same thing it would stand up to all but the most pigheaded Iwa nobles and rabid Rock supporters.

Not that Rock would care, they would still claim what they want. It would be easier to honestly tell their own Daimyo that yes, Konoha had nothing to do with the hostilities and were in fact on the defensive at the beginning.

Panther replaced the reports back into the cabinet she had drawn them out of, so that the next ANBU agent who needed the information could find them, while she ran that information through her head.

As far as she could recall, the next major event to happen besides the war kicking off would either be young Tenzou's discovery or the faceoff between the original rebel version of the Akatsuki and Hanzo the Salamander. Two things she didn't have a blessed clue how to influence or even prevent in any manner. If Orochimaru had ended up experimenting on newborn babies and toddlers someone or some patrol would end up stumbling on the research laboratory the Snake Summoner was using sometime between now and the mid-way point of this next war; and she had no solid facts about the three Rain orphans her old sensei had also taught to try and save the first of the three to die.

She was rather pessimistic in the face of the anything she could try to influence outside of the Land of Fire, mostly due to the distance involved. No offence meant to her fellow students of the Toad Sage, but she really didn't know them all that well and two of them had tried to destroy Konoha later on in life. Without the white haired sannin's cooperation, knowing or not, she couldn't figure out anything she could do to help them. It was very likely that the orange haired brat of that team would end up dead regardless of any effort on her end, simply because he would die before Natsumi knew when it was supposed to happen.

Tenzou's problems were also driving her up a wall. Not only would it be a fairly obvious hint that the hebi-sannin hadn't changed enough to safely keep in Konoha, but the fact she knew it was going to happen but couldn't do anything to prevent it happening scraped raw her sense of responsibility to the point she could make herself physically sick trying to figure something out for the poor kid. The only really solid part of that next disaster she could recall was that Tenzou was younger than Kakashi by a few years, making it impossible for her to do anything for the brat other than keep an eye out for anything unusual outside the village's walls.

As a matter of fact, there should be a number of semi-familiar faces going through the academy for the next few years. Kakashi might only be a few months past his fifth birthday, but it was looking like he would enter the academy next year alongside the almost seven-year-old Sarutobi Asuma. The youngest Sarutobi child and the Hatake heir would be joining the oldest Sarutobi, Koichi, and Senju Nawaki; both of whom had already completed their first year of ninja training with decently high scores. There simply wasn't enough left to teach Kakashi without having him bound to the same oaths the rest of the Leaf's shinobi took after graduation, and the silver haired prodigy would most likely be skipping a year sometime after starting and would join the older boy's classes.

Additionally; Morino Ibiki, Maito Gai, Kamizuki Izumo, Hagane Kotetsu, Yuhi Kurenai, Mitarashi Anko, Hayate Gekko, Shiranui Gemma, Namiashi Raido, Uzuki Yugao, Ebisu, Nohara Rin, Uchiha Obito, and a few others should either already be in or would start arriving at the academy through the next few years.

Panther blew out a sigh and started heading home, her mind circling back to the problem with Tenzou.

She didn't have the information to decipher exactly when the brat had been discovered, all she knew was that the laboratory he had been held in was abandoned hastily and that the Third War had been going on at the time. The few details she could recall about the situation were sketchy at best, considering they were about a year beyond the point the Third Great Shinobi War had kicked off previously, that left her somewhat adrift rather than allowing her to focus on something so she could at least pretend she was doing something for poor Tenzou.

\V/

As with any military organization, the shinobi corps of Konohagakure no Sato had a set of guidelines for their usual attire for the time the ninjas were either working for the village or even wandering around the inside of it while off-duty but still on the active duty roster. It kept certain shinobi from becoming too recognizable by odd dress or iconic accessories before they developed the skills to adequately defend themselves, and let friendly forces know at a glance what rank a fellow ninja was even on a battlefield.

Sometimes the slightly standardized uniforms even let few shinobi figure out what skill set one had at a distance.

Jōnin were practically allowed to wear anything they wanted once they got their rank, but only because they had and can prove to work around any such limitations their attire might cause them. The only exception to the jōnin rule were clan affiliated shinobi, as they had uniform regulations, and during wartime.

Since it was likely that mission work would end up destroying a ninja's usual wardrobe on a regular basis, there was one place a shinobi of the Leaf could turn in damaged and badly stained clothing for the standard uniform for their rank and clan affiliation. It was located in a heavily guarded warehouse nearly hidden by the sheer amount of larger but similarly guarded merchant storehouses right next to it, situated so it was unlikely that any spy could easily get ahold of the uniform of a regular Konoha nin and located where it wouldn't be too odd for a steady trickle of shinobi to wander in and out of.

There were limits to the storehouse, there were a lot of ninja and the budget Konoha gave the civilian weaver's guild for providing the service didn't stretch very far, but every Leaf ninja had a set allowance for pulling either armor or clothing out of it set by what rank you had, what field you specialized in, and the situation you came from.

For instance, a chūnin ranked taijutsu user without a clan would end up with more damaged clothing than a jōnin level genjutsu specialist coming from even a minor shinobi family; but both would end up with mud and various stains about at the same rate if they had similar mission loads. That shinobi specializing in taijutsu would then have a greater amount set for him or her than the one relying mainly on genjutsu. Mostly because trying to get bloodstains out of cotton was a bitch and a half once the stains set in, and repeated darning made most clothing that survived missions by a thread too shabby for representing Konoha and Fire County for the Daimyo's liking.

Most of Minato's, Kushina's, and Natsumi's old genin and chūnin uniforms had come out of the Konoha uniforms' warehouse; since they didn't have any parents or established clans in Konohagakure to supply and maintain a ninja uniform for them. The assassin still had to stitch up, darn, and mend an ungodly amount of clothing for all three of them while they had been genin, and even then they still had to sometimes use their own money to buy the more frequently damaged parts of their separate outfits.

Well, Natsumi had bought the preferred clothing when the old pieces became too worn or stained to continue to be of any use. Usually Minato and Kushina had already spent too much of their pay on fūinjutsu supplies on any given month to do it themselves when they needed to replace something.

Amusingly enough, it was still an ingrained habit for Minato to bring the uniforms he damaged on missions to her even though they now made enough per month to take care of their own clothing issues. Even with that cost added to the bill for the blond's continued fūinjutsu studies. It had been something that confused the hell out of Shikaku at first until his wife took pity on him and explained why her brother in all but blood was taking his bloodstained and torn up clothing to her just for her to throw them out. Kushina had done it only up to the point the then ex-ANBU assassin could teach her to sew, then she took care of her own mending.

The jinchūriki in question fingered a tan, tunic length shirt, trying to picture how it would look on her. "Hey, do you two think I can get away with the dress if I claimed it was Uzumaki clan standard?"

The assassin blinked at the feisty redhead's mostly innocent question, trying to imagine the unmistakably _male_ Naruto in the sundress she favored for her off duty wear and cringing at the mental image. "Err… hime? You claim that and any children you might have will have to wear it… even the male ones. They might be able to put pants on under it… but…"

It would probably only encourage the brat's Sexy no Jutsu, and the gender issues that had to cause the poor littlest blond. Natsumi was of the opinion that the second coming of the Toad Sage and Super Pervert could wait another generation, thanks. Hopefully Minato would do some real good for his brat, all the ANBU captain had to do was make sure her favorite blond survived the October during the year after the end of the Third War.

"Oh, no. No, no, no. Don't listen to Natsumi, Kushina. I think it's a _great_ idea." The genjutsu mistress couldn't completely suppress the amusement in her voice when she said it, and both women regarded her suspiciously when they poked their heads down the aisle for standard Uchiha uniforms to see exactly what she was doing that had her so gleeful.

"Uh… maybe not." The fūinjutsu princess muttered to herself just loud enough for the other two to hear, hurriedly grabbing a few of the dark colored and short skirts from Konoha's regular uniform stocks. They were slit on the side for easy movement, and after inspecting that feature the jinchūriki grabbed a few pairs of spandex shorts to wear under it just in case.

Picking up a chainmail shirt down the Naras' aisle, the ANBU captain wrinkled her nose at it and the undershirt that would prevent the metal from grating skin off. She flat out refused to consider the mesh and the fishnet didn't even rate a glance. "Do you ladies think Shikaku would be annoyed with me if I nixed the metal and went with just leather armor?"

She hadn't had the time to replace her temporary jōnin uniform with one that conformed to the specifications laid out for Nara clan members after her wedding. It had been something she intended to do but never got to before she and a few of her fellow but foreign assassins had a slight disagreement over the continuation of her life and the proper working order of her right leg. Now that she would probably be out of the clan compound and in the village for a few months at least, the assassin figured she probably had to get on top of the issue of dressing like the jōnin ranked Nara kunoichi she was.

Especially since the two month long mission she had been on with Minato drew its price from the last of her better pairs of cargo pants.

"Well, it would keep with the Nara clan's green, gray, and brown theme." Mikoto mused as she folded the loose black pants kunoichi of the Uchiha clan usually wore into battle. "But why would you want to?"

"Metal clinks. Even the chainmail made for shinobi." Natsumi spoke just loud enough for the other two to hear her without actually shouting, tossing the noisy metal back in the bin marked for those with her chest size and height. Annoyingly enough in the assassin's opinion, there were not very many of those. Nara kunoichi tended to grow taller than she was without her generous bust size. "And I prefer the leather. It might creak at first, but if you keep it conditioned with the right oils and soaps the stuff's nearly silent. Taicho taught me how to treat it."

It also seemed less like she had taken a whole developmental step back in personal protection. From ballistic-resistant ceramic plates guaranteed to at least stop a bullet from making a mess out of your rib cage but could crack them at the same time to chain mail that really only protected from sharp stabby things thrown at the largest part of your anatomy or the edge of the blade swung at your back.

She'd deal with the scars… she wasn't that vain, anyways.

"Go for it and ask your hubby later. We only got so much time down here." Kushina reminded the two other kunoichi, picking up a few of the metal mesh shirts the assassin had sneered at for herself. Since she was the only Uzumaki left in the village, she didn't have to conform to her clan's uniform. That would change once she was no longer the only survivor of her clan in Konohagakure. "Just remember; metal's more expensive to buy than leather."

Snagging a few leather chest plates for kunoichi of her size from the standard racks behind the Nara clan's row of shelving, the assassin added it to her pile of dark pants and green overcoats with the Nara's clan symbol in white on the back. She honestly preferred the under armor leather plates that were issued to ANBU agents likely to see intense close combat, designed to sit close to the skin and under any clothing worn, but since the standard uniforms worn by Naras called for some kind of armor over the chest it would just either paint a target on her back or make any attackers try to avoid her.

Deviations to the norm were always treated as dangerous normally, doubly so in wartime.

She frowned down at the pile she had assembled for herself, folding and bundling them up to fit in a pack she had brought her old uniforms she traded in with. She honestly preferred a different style than her kouhai favored, a long sleeved and neutral colored tan coat over a dark, sleeveless shirt and long dark pants tucked into the top of her knee high ninja sandals. It was similar enough to what she wore in another life, just without the digital camouflage patterns or forest camouflage design. Her jōnin vest fit over her shirt and under the coat when she wore it, sometimes making Leaf-nin that didn't know her mistake her for a chūnin out of uniform or a genin corps member from behind.

Minato still mostly dressed himself out of the standard stores for clan-less shinobi, even if Natsumi and Kushina had branched out a bit to fit their own personality, and he only paid for extra blue jōnin uniforms when he absolutely had too. He wasn't wearing his flame motif short sleeve haori yet, that would only come when the blond became Hokage.

Thankfully, the Nara clan's standard uniform was somewhat similar to what the misplaced soldier had been wearing up to this point, the only thing she really wanted to quibble over was the sleeve length for the Nara clan's jacket. She had a life of practically living in ACUs then years of longer sleeves to cover a certain little tattoo itching across her shoulders with the change to short sleeves.

Maybe Shikaku would let her change that for her own version of the clan's uniform? He had done it himself when he ripped his own sleeves off when it irritated him a time too many, so he might not mind her getting longer sleeves instead.

"Done." Setting the full pack on the bench she had used like a short table, Natsumi turned around and headed to the storage room's doors to see how close the other two kunoichi she was with were to being finished as well.

Mikoto dusted her hands off and grinned at the assassin from next to the Uchiha aisle. "So am I. Kushina?"

She snagged a few more tunic length shirts and sealed them in the scroll she was using, waggling it at the two of them. "Finished. Shall we go then?"

"Umm." Both the jinchūriki and the assassin turned to the last member of their group when the Uchiha kunoichi laid a hand on their arms. "I have some news, before we split."

Kushina visibly brightened, throwing an arm around her best friend's shoulders. "Are we finally getting you hitched?"

Even as Mikoto flushed red and quailed slightly at the brash redhead's rather loud exclamation, Natsumi knew that it was the news the genjutsu mistress wanted to share. "Well… I think that kimono shop we visited for my wedding kimono is still open, or do you know of an Uchiha run one you want to visit?"

"The clan will take care of it."

Which really wasn't much of an answer, but the assassin figured that to an Uchiha it probably was obvious.

She could only shrugged absently to the look the ANBU captain gave her for her non-answer, still mainly listening to Kushina excitedly babble on about flower arrangements and the best dishes the Akimichi clan had available for catering. Natsumi merely rolled her eyes as she led her fellow kunoichi out of the warehouse's underground storage room.

The jinchūriki wouldn't be able to stop talking about Mikoto's wedding for days now. The assassin could already feel the possible impending migraine throbbing in her temples.

\V/

"The mating habits of Akimichis. Not something that should be witnessed by the faint of heart."

Shikaku wrapped an arm around his wife and practically smashed her into his chest. "Hush you. Or Chouza might hear."

"I think he's a little wrapped up at the moment, Shika." Inoichi observed quietly, keeping up an admirable effort of a blank expression as the three of them waited for the head of the Akimichi clan to finish up talking to the waitress he was supposed to be paying. "But I would like you to note that I totally called Chouza's taste in women."

Natsumi bit down on her lower lip to stifle her snickers even as her husband silently groaned into her loose hair.

The four of them had taken advantage of the rare occasion they all had a few days of downtime together and had a rather nice and lazy morning browsing tea shops for breakfast, up until the lone taijutsu specialist among them got rather distracted by their waitress mentioning she had a hand in developing some of the dishes Chouza had ordered.

Apparently, while the assassin had been out inspecting the borders her husband and his team had gotten called out for a short mission involving a suspected spy lurking around Tanzaku Quarters, a small village west and a bit south of their Hidden Village. Shikaku had apparently returned to the village the same day she and Minato had, just a lot earlier than the team she had been on did. Unfortunately, this would be her husband's last day of rest before going back to active duty. She still had another four days to fill before she could do more than pick up gossip around the village or sharpen her weapons without being asked to check in with the Yamanaka clan.

Simply to ensure she wasn't burning herself out, of course.

The assassin suppressed her laughter and drew back just far enough to beam at the Nara almost curled around her. "Oh come on. It's funny and you know it."

A snatch of the conversation between the Akimichi and the waitress floated over to them over the noisy customers of the small bakery, and Natsumi ended up drawing blood to keep herself from bursting out laughing even as Shikaku pinched the bridge of his nose to keep from giving in.

"I don't get it. What do buns have to do with…? "

Inoichi trailed off as the assassin grabbed her own ass and arched an eyebrow at the interrogator over her shoulder. " _These_ are also referred to as buns, Inoichi."

The blond flushed red, stanchly ignoring his team leader who finally cracked up and started laughing at them.

"Oh kami, Natsumi. Stop it, please." Normally, the mind walker didn't respond to the assassin's rather vulgar vocabulary anymore. After a few years of constant exposure to both her and their genin sensei had worn down his sense of modesty to the point she could be as perverted verbally as she wanted to be and he didn't even blink in the face of it. However, Natsumi had figured out fast that the Yamanaka had some issues with her poking or groping at her own anatomy in front of him and gleefully substituted when necessary.

It was times like this Inoichi regretted not adopting the same method Minato had in the face of both a pervert for a teacher and a rather perverted older sister figure, in pretending to react as they wanted him to and ignoring everything else. His fellow blond was the only one to get both Jiraiya and Natsumi to stop when he wanted them to, and he never had to suffer public humiliation like he did.

"Enough. Preferably _before_ Inoichi starts bleeding from the nose, Natsu." Shikaku grasped his wife's hands in his own and pulled them away from the body part in question.

The ghost eyed kunoichi beamed up at him, a wicked glint still in her mismatched eyes. "Aw. You're no fun."

"What do you plan on doing for the rest of your time off?"

Natsumi pursed her lips, giving her husband a look to imply she wasn't at all thrown with the quick subject change. "Well… I've got a chūnin to meet up with later today, and I plan on spending at least one entire day in bed."

She had a few other things to do as well, but applying an only recently tested fūinjutsu seal to her ANBU mask and visiting one almost defenseless civilian woman wasn't something she was going to admit to in a public space. Eri still had trouble with the security seals around the Hatake compound, after all.

Shikaku huffed at her, rolling his eyes even as his younger teammate almost choked on his own breath. "I might be up to skipping a day of work sometime soon."

"Good to know."

They both ignored Inoichi's spluttered protests about how much time they had off _now_ , and why the Nara shouldn't skip work. The assassin was sure the mind walker's protests were more for the work the Nara would dump off on him rather than taking a day off simply because his wife wanted to be lazy.

(ooo000ooo)

"How about-"

Natsumi didn't even give Minato time to finish his thought before cutting him off. "Hell no."

She was cold, had a few new bruises to add to her collection, and mostly sure her exposed toes were starting to turn blue. She really didn't want to listen to her kouhai try to name things again.

Not put-off in the least by his sempai's flat refusal to even hear him out, the blond fūinjutsu user nodded his head once and tried another tack. "Well, maybe not. But we can't keep calling 'Natsumi's taijutsu'."

"Why not?" The assassin only paused long enough to let Mebuki shuffle into a better position so they could continue to the Nara clan head's house.

The taijutsu specialist had agreed to learn a style of fighting only one other person in the world could use, but since the misplaced soldier really only had one method of teaching it they were doing it the hard way. Physical demonstrations and hands on learning. As a result, Natsumi was the only one among the three of them that had the height to act as a proper crutch since a small training accident resulted in the chūnin kunoichi pulling a tendon in her calf.

"I have no problem having a taijutsu method named after me."

"Saa, the style can only really be called a work in progress…" A huffed breath let the exhausted and slightly injured Mebuki pull enough oxygen to finish her interjection. "And that's being generous."

"See? I don't even _need_ a name yet."

Natsumi did the mature thing and stuck her tongue out when all her kouhai did was raise an eyebrow at her protest.

"But you should start thinking about one now, so you know what you're going to call it once Mebuki gets going." Ignoring the rolling of mismatched eyes going on only a foot away from him, Minato ran his mind through everything the style seemed to incorporate. "I might even be generous enough to admit my previous offer was a bit long winded."

Natsumi snorted, giving the Nara clan compound guards an aborted wave in acknowledgement of their nods as the three of them passed the gates. "How kind of you. Regardless, if your next offer is more than two or three words I'm discarding it on principle."

The future Yondaime Hokage ignored her, crossing one arm across his chest and cupping his opposite elbow just so he could cup his jaw as he thought. "How about a cat theme? You've already got the Leopard Summoning Contract, so…"

"No. Just… no, kouhai. Absolutely not."

The taijutsu user hanging onto the assassin snickered weakly as she listened to them continue to bicker. It lasted all the way up to the porch of the ghost eyed kunoichi's home, the point when Natsumi could set Mebuki down and turn her full attention onto Minato.

"Look, we are not calling my taijutsu the _Quick Paw Asp Strike Taijutsu_. That's even worse than _Dark Tactical Hidden Water Dance Style Taijutsu_ you initially came up with. I'm hereby revoking any rights you have to naming crap, I don't even want to _speculate_ how you came up with those. If I ever hear you trying to _name your own kids_ without first getting approval from Kushina-hime I'm going to beat the ever living shit out of you." Punctuating her point with finger jabs into his sternum, the misplaced soldier finished with an imperious sniff in the fūinjutsu user's direction. "My fighting style isn't yet a style, so there will be no naming going on for a good long while. Time enough to come up with something less ridiculous than your bids."

"I second that revoking." Shikaku interjected idly, leaning against the doorway he opened to see what his wife and her brother in all but blood were arguing about on their second to last day off.

The green eyed blonde grinned up at the two of them, having finally caught her breath now that she no longer needed it to shuffle and hop on one leg to the assassin's home. "Can I third the motion?"

"Motion carries. Naming rights of Namikaze Minato are revoked until further notice." Natsumi effortlessly dodged the swipe to the back of her head, having two teachers that favored that as a means of conveying their displeasure with her letting the assassin figure out fast when someone wanted to smack her upside the head. "Don't bitch at me, Minato, there had to be at least one other who thought the same way in order for the motion to carry. Blame yourself for it."

Since it wasn't the first time his sempai had 'revoked' his right to name things, he blatantly ignored that claim. "And again, I refuse to heed the jurisdiction of a faux governmental body that has no rights over me, so there. Besides, Kushina likes my names."

"There is no justice in the world." Ignoring the eye roll that mutter earned her from her kouhai, the reincarnated former soldier turned back to Mebuki. "Would you like some tea while we get the swelling in your leg down?"

The taijutsu user grinned up at her temporary teacher, pleased as could be that the jōnin kunoichi was perfectly willing to spend time helping her with her taijutsu. "Please."

Shikaku stepped around her and kissed his wife on the cheek as he headed off. "I've got to head to Tactical today, some problem blew up in their face and want me to give a second opinion. I'll be back around lunch."

"Mhm, kay." Natsumi watched him wander off for a moment before turning back to her fellow jōnin. "What do you want, anyways? You never said when you showed up this morning."

Minato's amused smirk dimmed a bit at that reminder. Although he enjoyed getting the smaller kunoichi's back up now and again in regards to his preferred method of assigning names to things, he had sought out the ANBU captain for a reason. "Do you know where sensei is? I've looked practically everywhere for him."

"Mmph. Go fetch my first aid kit and meet me in the kitchen." Flapping a hand at him, the assassin absently patted the chūnin kunoichi on the shoulder as she passed her.

"If it's something I shouldn't hear, I can pretend to be deaf." Mebuki offered uncertainly.

Natsumi snorted just before she would have entered the clan head's house, which she happened to call home as well. "Jiraiya-sensei was sent to discover the reason why Iwa is trying so hard to take down the guard posts we just finished inspecting, along with a kunoichi from the medical corps and some probably much needed backup earlier in the month. Minato just reminded me of something else I wanted to ask him about. But please do keep that news to yourself and Kizashi."

The taijutsu user gave her a half-hearted salute in acknowledgement as the two of them disappeared into the assassin's home.

Before he headed off to collect the ANBU captain's personal first aid kit kept in the master bath, something he knew about only because Natsumi had dragged him into the house a few times to get his own training injuries patched up on infrequent occasions, the future Yondaime tugged the ghost eyed kunoichi to a halt just before the staircase. "What did you want to ask about?"

"What do you want for your birthday, even if it's a week late to wish you happy birthday?" She smirked a bit herself as her fellow jōnin belatedly realized he _had_ just turned seventeen before the five of them had returned from the border inspection.

"Huh." Minato rubbed the underside of his jaw as he figured out exactly what kind of distraction his sempai had come up with to ensure the chūnin wouldn't suspect anything, even if she got the reason of why his sempai wanted a word with him. "Well, if the question was the distraction, what's the reason you want a word with me without Mebuki listening in for?"

"Sensei was sent out with Tsunade-sama and taicho, with the express instructions to either discourage further attacks or ensure that any rumors of another war starting had Rock firmly cast as the aggressor." Biting her lip, the assassin refused to meet the eyes of her most important person. Even if it didn't really make much sense to the people around her, Natsumi still felt somewhat responsible for the proceedings that led to this series of events. "He's not in the village at the moment, and I didn't think you should've drawn attention to that. We probably won't see any of them until we get sent out after them."

The future Yondaime eyed her expression, then decided to ignore the faintly guilty cast to the kunoichi's face. "Good to know."

\V/

The initial stages of the Third Shinobi War started with a whisper rather than a bang.

During the time Panther had set aside to train up her handpicked, blank masked ANBU rookie with Horse; the civilians started gossiping about how the Daimyo was starting to get irritated at the incessant attacks on the Kusa boarder. Knowing what she did, the assassin assumed the rumors meant her old sensei and the two with him had arrived at the outposts and were set to engage Iwa the next time they attacked. After all, the ninja ranks had a different set of rumors going around about how the _Hokage_ wasn't going to put up with any more Rock shinobi taking potshots at their fellow ninja on guard duty.

By the time the ANBU captain finally found a good fourth squad member in the unassigned Boar, a bodyguard specialist, and started all of them on the squad teamwork requirements for ANBU's new squads; she was reasonably sure Jiraiya and his team had completed the first part of their orders as the more enterprising of the traveling merchants who had no problem crossing the borders couldn't speak of anything but the giant toads and the one giant slug spotted near the Tenchi Bridge, one of two bridges that spanned the watery ravine between Fire and Grass Country. Her assumption was given weight by the scroll Hiruzen had given Minato from their sensei shortly after the outbreak of rumors, more of an 'I'm okay, it's really rainy here' message all three Konohagakure aligned students of the Toad Sage took with a pound of salt.

There was also a thinly veiled message in the text that 'suggested' to Natsumi that she should watch her favorite blond's back, something that she had planned on anyways and she laughed at Minato's pout when he read that aloud. They both ignored Inoichi's sigh over their childish antics as a brief but silly fight evolved from the teasing between his old teammates.

After the message from their genin sensei there were scores of preparations made all across the Hidden Village in the Leaves, and not all of them from the shinobi ranks.

There was such an upswing in merchant caravans going to or from the likely contested areas of Grass and Fire Country that nearly every team and cell available below chūnin were spoken for during the still icy month of February. To compensate, ANBU started sending out patrols of it's own; pulled from the incomplete squads down due to injuries or personnel shifts and the unassigned agents available. Something Panther, Horse, and Boar ended up accompanying a few times while their blank masked rookie finally chose a black op specialty, in infiltration, and got the title of Bat for his mask.

The obliteration of nearly all the more active bandit bands in the Land of Fire spread the rumors hinting of an upcoming war even further than the Intelligence Division's chūnin rumormongers could on their own, inciting the farther flung villages that looked to Konoha to start in on stockpiling their own provisions. Those rumormongers did manage to ensure the civilians of Konoha thought that their shinobi protectors were only following orders from Fire Country's ruler and not intentionally seeking out further conflicts merely because they were bored, bloodthirsty, or incompetent.

Now instead of a violent slam straight from peacetime operations into a wartime footing due to the horrifically failed mission on behalf of a significantly diminished Hatake Sakumo, or mid-prep if Natsumi's suspicions that would never be validated were right, Konohagakure would be going into the next war with all her preparations done and armed to the teeth with the nearly full support of her varied citizens.

One more hurdle down between her version of Namikaze Minato and his presumed death at the hands of Uchiha Madara and a sharingan controlled Kurama the Nine Tailed Demon Fox. Only the end of the war, his appointment as Hokage, and Kushina's pregnancy were left.

There were still plenty of things Natsumi could do in the meantime to prepare.

\V/

Barely a week after the white haired sannin's message, the first of the shinobi the misplace soldier knew well had been given orders to head to Kusa.

She didn't have very many chūnin friends anymore, Mebuki and Kizashi both had not been able to try for the jōnin spar before they got orders to head out to the Kannabi Bridge guard post, and all the kids she knew were still in the academy so they didn't count as knowing genin yet, but the few she did have all had the same general orders.

The morning of their departure, Natsumi followed Shia to where the Nara kunoichi was to meet up with her traveling group. As far as she knew, the taijutsu specialist she had been teaching her version of taijutsu to and her easygoing boyfriend had already left Konoha by now, so the assassin wouldn't be able to say goodbye to those two.

"Why is it always wet when other ninja leave? It's always sunny when I leave the gates."

The field medic quirked a lazy grin at the question. "Really? I could've sworn there was sleet on the ground when we left for the border inspection."

"On the ground, yes." The ghost eyed kunoichi nodded with a sniff. "But it was not coming down at the time of departure, and it was nice and sunny at that exact moment."

The born Nara beside her rolled her eyes. From what she could recall of that day, there had been only a small patch of sunlight that hit the wall as the team had been leaving. "My mistake, Natsumi-sama. Whatever would I do without your keen eye?"

Snorting, the assassin slung an arm around the unfairly taller than her medic. "I don't know, Shia-chan. You'd probably die a decrepit old crone because you couldn't tell that shinobi on mission desk duty had a little crush on you. How is Ito-kun these days, anyways?"

Shia stiffened up at the reminder of how she met her boyfriend, and Natsumi had to bit her lip to keep from grinning. "He's fine. Said to tell you hello the next time I saw you."

"That's nice." Taking a quick side step to avoid the elbow born retaliation, the ghost eyed kunoichi let go of her second favorite medic and spun around to walk backwards. She had a much better view of Shia's face this way. "I'm a little annoyed with you, though."

"Because you can't drag me along to the Uchiha wedding?" The medic's wicked smirk had the assassin narrowing her eyes at her. "Poor you. I think I might actually prefer medic duty to attending. Such a pity you're not coming along, Natsumi-sama."

"What happened to the nice little Nara girl that was so respectful to me?" The ANBU captain sniffed theatrically, pouting just because she could. "You were so nice, then-"

"You cracked a joke about smart people being emotionally stupid, and I decided I didn't have to watch myself so I didn't scare you off." Shia interrupted without sympathy, since she really was only two years younger than the assassin. "Then you decided if you needed to do anything in Shikaku-sama's stead you needed me to tag along just to help. Then I figured out you were ANBU, and therefore I didn't have to watch what I said-"

"I get it, shut up." Natsumi brought herself to a halt just outside the small stretch of empty ground Shia was supposed to meet up with her group on. It was tucked up against the great walls that circled the village, lit only by the weak light that escaped the dense cloud cover currently ensuring neither kunoichi would have dry hair for the next few hours. "First Shika and now you. I swear, my next victim I decide to drag along to Mikoto's wedding better not get a mission covering the date or I'll start getting mean."

"Shikaku-sama might be back in time."

The unlikely possibility of that happening occurred to both kunoichi at the same time, and Shia had the grace to look a little embarrassed at her verbal offer when the misplaced soldier turned to stare incredulously at her.

The assassin finally shrugged and snickered at the faint blush staining the medic's tanned cheekbones. "Right. He might be, but given the option of roughing it for a bitter cold spring night or being forced to attend a stuffy formal event with stick in the mud clan elders not his own… I know which option my husband will pick."

"I heard the threat you made to him, wouldn't he try just so you don't kick him out of bed for a few nights?"

Natsumi barked a laugh. "You heard about that? I don't think he took me seriously, and I had the option of tagging along with Minato when he left the village. Remember, Kushina-hime only came home the day after and claimed her rights as girlfriend to drag him along."

The redheaded jinchūriki's greatest cover was that she was treated the same as her fellow kunoichi in terms of mission work. Admittedly, the Whirlpool Princess didn't get nearly as many missions out of Fire Country as the rest of the jōnin kunoichi the ANBU captain knew of; but it was one of the few things that kept the demon container of the nine tails from being found out by enemy ninja.

Natsumi had been rather surprised by the number of times spies had been caught trying to sniff out who exactly was the jinchūriki in her 'generation', something she had prevented a few times herself when pulling T&I and Tower guard duty over the years.

The only guard shift Panther had not yet been a part of was the Hokage's guard, but she had heard for the next month that's where she was going to be while he squad finished up ANBU's requirements without her looming over their shoulders. Her only problem with the twelve hour shift her entire squad would be doing was that her stint only started three days after Mikoto's wedding.

"Saa, whatever. All I can do is hope something comes up."

Shia snickered at the depressed airs her clan's Lady was affecting. "I wish you luck with that."

" _Thanks_ , Shia-chan."

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku didn't make it home in time for Mikoto's wedding. Natsumi was almost mean enough to go through with her threat of making the shadow master sleep in a guest room for the indignity. She did at least find a safe date to the damn thing in Shibi, when Tsume had an emergency tracking mission come up and had to bow out of the wedding party.

The wedding was very proper, very lovely, very _long_ , and _very_ _cold_. It seemed the Uchiha clan held tradition very dear so the wedding party, family, and close friends had to go through the entire spring Shinto wedding at the Naka Shrine; the pre and post receptions at the Uchiha clan head's home, along with the ungodly number of kimono changes in between.

Natsumi had snickered when she saw the genjutsu mistress' shiromuku, the pure white kimono worn by the bride in a Shinto wedding, the heavy white makeup she and Kushina smothered the Uchiha's skin in, and the other assorted pieces of the traditional bridal outfit. She did have to admit, after helping the jinchūriki tuck the other kunoichi into her wedding kimono, that it was prettier than her own. At least she now understood why Shikaku had suggested they do without the traditional rites for their ceremony; the assassin still didn't understand why so many outfit changes had to be done after the san-san-kudo, the three times three ritual sake drinking, if the drinking was supposed to be the point at which Fugaku and Mikoto were officially married.

Mildly confused and vastly annoyed with her still freezing toes, the ANBU captain loosened her kimono enough to take the roofs home. It may not have been very proper of her dressed as she was, but it was a hell of a lot faster.

She only had one bad moment the whole day, other than a few of pure boredom, and that was when she landed on the ground just outside of her own home. She was certain she hadn't left any lights on when she left that morning, and her mind ran away with her fears of more assassins until her minor chakra senses reassure her that it was just her husband and his team.

Still, Natsumi carefully let herself in with a tantō unsheathed in her right hand and one of her bladed hair stick in the other. Just in case.

Shikaku arched an eyebrow at the weaponry, but didn't comment on them. He probably knew without having to ask where her mind had gone before realizing who was inside the two story house. Instead, he eyed her formal kimono with a sheepish expression. "Sorry we're late, Natsu."

The assassin waved the apology away after tucking the short sword back under her obi. "Don't worry about it. I will accept missions as a reason for not showing up. But if you think you can ditch me to spend time with little Rikumaru and leave me at the mercy of Uchiha elders, you've got another thing coming."

Smirking at the mention of the young fawn he was sure would lead the herd in a few years, the shadow master abandoned the half-written mission report he was working on with his teammates to help his wife remove the ornaments from her long hair.

"Anything interesting happen while we were gone?" He started with the end of the braid, smirking even more when he rested his chin on the top of her head. "Besides getting one more inch added on?"

She ignored the comment on her height reflexively. By this point it really was an overused joke only Kushina wailed about, since she only had one inch left on the assassin's height. Natsumi wasn't holding out on another inch, even if she had gained three since her sixteenth birthday nearly two years ago. Tsunade had only remarked that healthy eating had its own perks when asked about it.

Since Shikaku normally left inter-village information gathering up to her unless he was interested in something specific, that wasn't a very unusual request from him after getting back from a mission. Natsumi ran a hand through her loosening hair and sidestepped so Chouza could get back into the study after raiding the Nara's fridge for the snacks she made him when expecting the whole team to crash their team leader's house after a mission.

"Other than the wedding that just ended? Shia-chan is off on mission, left yesterday morning, and while no one else was sent out I think three other Nara clan members came back since you've been gone. But they haven't reported back in yet after their downtime so I don't have the final count. The hospital put in a bulk request between us and the Yamanakas for the herbs needed for the manufacture of soldier pills, and the R&D Division wants another sample of the southern herd's felt for the bone regrowth research project. I've gotten reports that the east fence needs to be mended but I was going to go inspect it for a D-rank mission posting tomorrow morning. I've got guard duty for the next month, so I'll either be in or out depending on the two other squads we're working with. And… we are officially at war with Iwagakure as of two days ago."

The Nara couple winced as one of the dishes the Akimichi clan head was holding slipped from his grip and shattered on the floorboards.

"What?"

"You shouldn't be surprised, Chouza. Didn't you hear that the Hokage was getting fed up with Iwa trying to knock over the guard posts?" Inoichi put what Natsumi was sure was one of her fūinjutsu brushes to the side so he wouldn't drip ink over his report, looking up at the heavier shinobi with concern. "It was probably going to happen sooner or later."

"It was a cross between the Daimyo and the Hokage, actually. Sandaime-sama only just got the official order to retaliate in response to the attacks on the guard posts Minato and I caught sight of out there." The assassin took the handful of metal and leather Shikaku passed to her with a thankful smile. "A large number of chūnin have already left for the border, that's where Shia-chan is heading to. Talk around the Tower is that the jōnin will be given orders to follow them out next."

"How likely is that going to happen?" The Akimichi clan head blinked when the Naras looked at each other and then shrugged at him. "Allow me to rephrase that. When is that likely to happen?"

Natsumi frowned thoughtfully as Shikaku rubbed a hand over the scared side of his face.

"If the chūnin in command," the kunoichi of the pair started slowly, "or any of the tokubetsu jōnin or full jōnin already out there for that matter, send back word that the opposition they're facing is stronger than they can handle… anytime in the next few months. I know taicho and sensei are there, and they took Tsunade-sama with them, so if more shinobi _are_ needed to hold the borders I don't expect to hear about any further mobilization until mid-summer."

"On the other hand, if Hiruzen-sama is going to accept the orders from the Daimyo we'll see the next set of orders in a few weeks." Shikaku continued as he made to return to his seat across from Inoichi. "With Jiraiya-sama, Sakumo-sama, and Tsunade-sama out there, probably on Hiruzen-sama's orders for just this eventuality, the question turns more to 'where' rather than 'when'. Depending on what orders they got and how far the three of them want to push, further orders might actually be for places in Kusagakure rather than our own border posts."

"And just to be evil, we should then start to think what Kumo and Kiri are going to do when they hear we're kicking Iwa back." With a smirk for the flat look that comment earned her from her husband, Natsumi gave all three of them a backwards wave as she left the study to change her clothes into something more comfortable. From the sound that followed her out of the room, the shadow master was explaining the likely consequences of Kiri or Kumo getting involved in their scuffle with Iwa to his teammates.

Even if he had been out of the village for two weeks, Shikaku still knew more than she did. It was almost a little unfair.

\V/

"Please tell me you don't really believe in the crap that just came out of your mouth." Fugaku turned the full force of his nastiest glare on her, but all Natsumi did was sneer back. With her summons contract enlarged canines, it was a bit more effective than the sharingan user's when he didn't have red eyes. "Really, Uchiha- _sama?_ Rank has next to no bearing on how effective a shinobi is, and isn't something you should use to judge your clan's ninjas. What _rank_ do you think most of _ANBU_ has?"

Shikaku and his team had returned just in time before Kushina's next mission, letting the group of friend and their various shinobi relations or contacts find another day to converge on the Hokage's home for their now rare meetings. Biwako had been very pleased to see her, given that her recovery and latest mission had made it half a year and some since the wife of the Hokage had seen her last. Having been early, an unusual occurrence with a Nara for a husband, Natsumi and Shikaku had joined the discussion that was practically thinly disguised gossip going on already between the Uchihas and the Hyūgas with Minato and Kushina interjecting now and again.

That was, until Fugaku started in on how restricted most of his clan members were when it came to promotions and Natsumi took offense.

"Jōnin, right?" Hizashi then questioned, a confused frown on his face.

"We're actually a bit of an abnormality, me and taicho. Oh, there are a few others… but jōnin ranked ANBU agents are few and far between." The assassin shook her head with a wry grin for the younger of the two Hyūga males in the Sarutobi's living room. "But the majority of ANBU? Doesn't get higher than _chūnin_. I even know _genin_ in the ranks who could probably match wits or blades with me and _win_."

Mikoto suspiciously peered at her, irritated at her tone when addressing her new husband. "How does that make sense? ANBU is supposed to be made up of the best of the elites."

"And how many jōnin shinobi does Konoha have?" Shot back the assassin just as caustically as her fellow kunoichi. "All of them can't be ANBU, it would attract too much attention to us and take too many off active duty at any given time. It'd be like a red flag waving around. ' _Attack now! The elites are out of the village!_ ' Besides, all jōnin practically have targets painted on their backs once promoted so it's rare for any to be considered for ANBU candidacy after they take the jōnin spar. We mostly snag our poor saps around their chūnin promotion, sometimes at genin like me, and never usually let them go higher. No one pays much attention to genin and chūnin and where they get to when they're 'off-duty', not even spies."

"That's partially why I'm not bothering to go higher than tokubetsu jōnin." Kushina nodded in confirmation and smiled sadly at her boyfriend, who looked rather concerned at this shift in topic. "A full jōnin ranked Uzumaki would make me more of a target than I am now, anyone looking to weaken Konoha or prevent a resurrection of the Uzumaki clan would come after me if I was _proven_ to be a really good Uzumaki fūinjutsu master. I almost didn't bother trying the jōnin spar until Mikoto asked me to attempt it with her, but tokubetsu is a good compromise. It makes it look like I was given a rank I didn't deserve solely because of my clan, not because any merit I might have... especially after so many years as chūnin."

Fugaku practically growled at her. "How does that have any bearing to how most Uchihas are being denied their rightful ranks?"

"Because most of _Konoha_ doesn't have their rightful ranks." Shikaku actually matched glares with the head of the Uchiha clan, which told the rest of them he was either pissed off or highly annoyed. A rare occurrence with the lazy shadow master, as getting irritated was usually too much work for him to bother with. "It's a security issue. The higher the rank a ninja officially has, the more other villages will try to kill them off. The more jōnin ranked shinobi or kunoichi a clan has, the more they're targeted even within the village. So when the First Hokage was forming up the ranks, he restricted how many can get the higher ones. A way he thought of to hide our strength in plain sight."

"Every clan has a certain percentage allowed for each rank, are you telling me your clan elders have not told you this?" Hiashi scowled down at the floor between them, casting his mind back to the reports of this year's promotions in his own clan. The previous clan head of the Uchihas had been killed by an unfortunately lucky infiltrator long before Fugaku made chūnin, so it wasn't likely he could have told his son much. "I was lead to believe your clan was demanding higher percentages against the accepted ratio agreed on at Konohagakure's founding, not that you have not been told."

If possible, Fugaku scowled even harder at this news. "Where are these ratios recorded?"

"The base rates should be in the charter your clan signed way back when… or did the Uchihas even sign anything when they joined Konohagakure? I know you had either an arrangement or agreement with the Senju clan near the founding of Konoha, but not what that entailed." Natsumi tapped her filed nails against her lips as she dredged up everything she knew of how the Uchihas joined Konoha. "I know I've seen the Nara's current ratio, but damned if I can remember it."

"One jōnin for every ten shinobi in the clan, based off of how many are shinobi of what rank and how many are civilian. We're not a very large clan, so there are less jōnin slots for the Naras." Hooking his chin back over his wife's shoulder, the head of the Nara clan blew out a sigh. "We cheated slightly. You didn't count for the year you joined my clan so we got an extra jōnin. We'll pay for it this year, though."

"I believe we have better ratios simple because we have larger clans than the Naras." Misaki interjected calmly, blissfully ignoring the sharp glance Hiashi threw her. "I do not know the exact numbers, but our clans probably have similar numbers of each rank."

"Glad to know you and yours appreciates me, Shika." Huffed his wife lowly for her husband's benefit, throwing him an irritated look even as she shifted backwards into his hold. "My point _being_ ; someone fed you a line of bull with telling you that, Fugaku-sama."

"I am beginning to see that."

"Fugaku-san." Sarutobi Hiruzen's gravelly voice wasn't exactly unexpected, they were all in his home after all, but the Third had never before actually spoke up when the younger generation was discussing something between themselves. "If you cannot find the information within your clan for whatever reason, I will make a copy of my versions available to you. Be warned that some of it will need to be concealed for the security and privacy of other clans."

The very prideful Chief of the Uchihas' Military Police hesitated, looking straight at the head of the Sarutobi clan… but nodded firmly after giving it a moment of thought. "I appreciate the offer, Hokage-sama."

After it seemed that issue was over with, Minato turned to Natsumi with a puzzled frown. "Why _did_ you get promoted if you weren't supposed to get higher than chūnin?"

She reached over and poked him in the chest. "It's partially your fault… and part taicho's."

"What? Why?"

The assassin rolled her eyes. "Because you kept on calling me sempai even after I stopped mentoring you in taijutsu, and taicho taught me kenjutsu."

"I don't think you ever stopped mentoring Minato, Natsumi." The jinchūriki smirked widely as her boyfriend flushed. "Kami knows you've never really stopped mothering any of us even after all these years."

The Leopard Summoner flipped her off with a pout, sticking her nose in the air with a sniff.

Hizashi looked between the orphans in confusion. "But-"

"No one would believe Natsumi was just a chūnin or tokubetsu jōnin if a full jōnin that's widely recognized as a _genius_ called her sempai on a regular basis and a rather renowned kenjutsu master took her on as a student." Mikoto informed the younger of the Hyūga twins, looking more thoughtful than annoyed now.

As the conversation turned to spies and deliberate misinformation in relation to their ranks, Natsumi's attention wandered back to the Uchiha situation.

She still visited their clan compound fairly often even when not meeting up with Fugaku for studying her kinjutsu, obstinately just to annoy their stuffy clan elders by visiting a lot of the shops and food stalls that were only run by Uchihas in their district like compound. She had also found Shisui of the Shunshin and Uchiha Obito over the years she had been there, just because those two names had been two she knew just as well as Uchihas Fugaku, Mikoto, Itachi, and Sauske. She might not have any excuse to approach them, neither the nearly six year old Obito nor the toddler aged Shisui were shinobi yet, but that didn't stop her from keeping an eye on them anyways.

Natsumi was probably the only resident of Konoha that had the gall to invite herself into the Uchiha compound without an Uchiha actually inviting her in the first place. She found it rather funny, because there really wasn't any rule or law against just showing up and wandering around if you wanted to. It was just polite to inform the compound guards that you were there and wanted in for this or that reason before actually entering. She may or may not have actually ignored that a time or two just because she could.

She had even found Nohara Rin, but that was more on accident than any design on her end. The assassin occasionally volunteered at the orphanages because she could still recall exactly how boring the places were to live in, and little Rin had been part of a group that approached her about kunoichi career paths while there. Natsumi had only belatedly realized who the brown haired child had been after a few minutes wondering what the purple rectangles on her face meant. She had gone back to check the orphanage records the moment she suspected.

In other news, the orphanages needed better security. It was worse than a bad joke to the assassin, which in hindsight was either really good in terms of her skill or really bad as in security risks.

What she found out during her frequent visits to the Uchiha clan compound was that someone was badly misleading that clan about a few key things.

Like the rank distribution between clans, there were a few things about shinobi life that wasn't immediately apparent even to the ninjas living said lives themselves, and ANBU life was apparently the worst offender in that respect in both civilian life and the Uchiha clan. There was the pervading assumption that ANBU was a personal honor, a measure of high respect from the village, or something like that among most of the Uchiha Natsumi had ever talked to.

As an ANBU assassin herself, the misplaced soldier had done things for Konohagakure's benefit that she would be deeply ashamed of until her next death… and possibly afterwards, horribly enough. A lot of it she would never mention or speak of even to her kouhai, and those that knew she had done those things would take the knowledge to their graves as well.

The reverence held for them by those that really didn't understand exactly what ANBU was for was pretty much repugnant to actual members of the shadow guard of the Leaf. Especially after the first year since that was when a lot of them had decided they didn't deserve that kind of respect for the mission work they took on. Needless to say, when an ANBU agent had the unnerving encounter with an Uchiha that informed the agent of their respect it usually resulted in said ANBU agent avoiding the hell out of the Uchiha district if they could.

She did have to wonder exactly who was misleading the Uchihas, though. And why, exactly, they were falling for it.

\V/

Natsumi's first brush with Shimura Danzō was more a meeting between the Hokage, his closest advisors, and one of Konohagakure's few active duty assassins than any personal meeting with the man.

She was on guard duty with Boar and half of Hawk-taicho's squad; with Panther, a combat ninjutsu specialist with a Rhino mask, and a scout titled Spider in the Hokage's office and the bodyguard taking on the henge of the Hokage's secretary.

In her personal opinion, the fact the secretary wasn't actually a person but an illusion the ANBU created was totally unfair. As that meant the times she had tried to see the Sandaime back when she was five had been turned away by no less than twenty or so different ANBU agents without the question of _why_ she wanted to see the Hokage being asked. Not a proud moment for her black ops fellows, to be sure, if the reasoning she had would ever become known.

Elder Shimura and the two Hokage's advisors, Utatane Koharu and Mitokado Homura, were trying to sway Hiruzen into sanctioning an assassination against a known Mist supporter who was in position to assist in the logistics Kirigakure would need in any offensive action they might take against the southern part of Konoha for the scuffle with Iwa.

Panther… had not been impressed with either them or the suggestion. The same action had been asked of ANBU, but it had been deemed too risky without enough reward and actually rather pointless as an effort for them actually go through with it. Bear-sama even supported the changes made to the mission that took it out of Panther's purview and dumped it on the sabotage specialists of ANBU.

She was mostly sure Shimura knew it, too. Even if it was only that the assassins of ANBU had poked too many holes in the mission objective to decide to attempt it.

What he was doing in trying to get the hit approved, she didn't know.

Sarutobi Hiruzen, despite coming off as a genial grandfather type to those that persisted in underestimating him, was rapidly getting annoyed by the fact his two old teammates and one of his few remaining childhood friends insisted on questioning him over a matter he had already investigated and ruled out as a viable means of hampering any bid Kiri might have to join Iwa in attacking Konoha. He listened to the objections; calmly gave the reason all five of the assassins in ANBU turned down the hit; quoted the Tactical Division's view on the suggestion when theoretically given to them; listened to more protests on why it was a good idea; and finally snapped out one terse ' _Panther!_ '

Knowing her Hokage was getting to the point of 'irritated', the ANBU captain simply shunshin to the ceiling from her post and landed in a crouch next to Hiruzen's office chair, facing him and not the three others still standing. It was a bit disorientating, but it was the method told to ANBU guards to use if the Hokage ever asked for one of them to show themselves.

"Sandaime-sama?"

"Homura. Koharu." Given that all of them in the office knew he was getting pissed, the fact his expression and voice were still perfectly controlled and neutral was a little intimidating. The pauses were probably deliberate and an attempt to hammer home that he was losing patience with them. "And Danzō. This is Panther-taicho, ANBU assassin specialist. She is captain of squad seventeen and one of ANBU's assassination geared squads."

There were actually only three actual stealth assassination capable squads, one down due to injuries, and two more squad-less ANBU assassins.

They were all shinobi however, and deception was practically a given at their age.

Panther amused herself by nodding a greeting. Both advisors were retired shinobi and ensured they had an eye on her the whole time whereas Shimura pretended to ignore her. She privately betted with herself that he was watching her movements more closely than his two fellow retirees.

"Panther, please inform my advisors as to why every assassin in ANBU refused to take the mission they are insisting on."

Behind her mask, the assassin's eyebrows rose up. It was impressive sounding tactic for the Hokage to say 'every assassin in ANBU', seeing as telling the three retired shinobi that four younger and one not-so-young cold-blooded killers got together and decided that the orders they were fixated on were mostly pointless other than a great way to piss off Kirigakure no Sato without cause might not go over well. _Refused_ was a rather extreme use of the term, but it was the bare bones of what had happened when Bear had presented it as a possible mission.

Since there really wasn't an official tactical division of ANBU, captains and specialist were required to investigate and put together missions they had the most experience in. There was some talk of actually getting a division to handle the ANBU mission planning, but that hadn't really been actual fact but rather an idle wish. As an assassin and wife of a widely acknowledged tactical genius, Panther actually had a fair bit of knowledge about the subject even if it hadn't been accepted as an ANBU mission.

Dutifully, the ANBU captain rose up to her full if still short height of five feet and three inches and looked at the others in the office, launching into the same conclusions she and the four other assassins in ANBU had decided on when presented the possible mission.

"The tacticians and specialists consulted for the assassination of one Shibata Hiro concluded from Intelligence reports that he would be replaced in a matter of days, and further assassinations for the successors would not do more than cast suspicion on the manner of Shibata's death. A wide scale atrocity might work better than the possible assassination, but was too likely to be traced back to Konoha." If that had been the tone the Hokage wanted to set, she had no problem playing along. Panther then sensed more that saw Danzō's slight shift in Hiruzen's direction and continued on in her monotone ANBU voice, hoping to end the discussion before the seated shinobi's temper snapped. "Further, it was suggested that instead of an assassination a sabotage was needed. Shibata's threat to the village remains fixed on the fact he holds a stranglehold on imports from Wave simply because he controls the ships in the sea to the south of Konohagakure. If a competitor somehow found a new way to break into the markets being starved by Shibata's hold, Kiri would be unable to utilize his fleet's support for the duration he is distracted dealing with the threats to his company."

She was looking specifically for it, so the assassin saw the point when the two advisors comprehended what she was saying. The twitch of Koharu's fingers seemed more of a 'grabbing a kunai to stab someone with' rather than a 'throw something at someone's throat' twitch, so the retired kunoichi probably wasn't irked with her; and Homura's slight shift of the head was probably more of an aborted attempt to look at Danzō.

It was fascinating what you could learn from another's slightest movement. The reincarnated former soldier would lay money on Utatane Koharu not supporting the direction Danzō convinced her to go, and that Mitokado Homura didn't really care about the assassination but cared that another approach was deemed more effective and he hadn't been told prior to storming the Hokage's office.

She would like to think that, anyways. These were Sarutobi Hiruzen's old genin teammates and friends, after all. Panther didn't want to think she might end up trying these tactics on Minato if they survived long enough.

The Hokage in question simply puffed on his pipe as the three that knew him the longest thought over what the assassin gave them.

"I see you gave this more thought than we realized, but-"

"Is there any reason, Homura, Koharu, why you suddenly do not trust my judgment?"

The silky but foreboding question from the head of the Sarutobi clan froze the blood of everyone in the office. Behind her mask, the assassin promptly paled and wished she was anywhere else than right next to the infuriated Hiruzen.

"I told you in as many words what Panther-chan just told you. Why was my word of another possible solution doubted?"

Danzō stared stubbornly at the wide brimmed hat that marked Sarutobi as the Fire Shadow, ignoring the seeking glimpses Mitokado made in his direction. Utatane simply lost a few shades of color in her face and seemed to simply drift backwards a few inches. For herself, the ghost eyed kunoichi simply wished she knew that drifting thing but kept still.

No reason to attract attention to herself, after all. She was a bit out classed here.

The silence was becoming stifling by the point Hiruzen took the pipe from his mouth and heaved a sigh at the lack of response. "The next time you decide to question me I hope, for your sake, you pick a topic that isn't being rendered moot before you even decide to confront me. Is that understood?"

It wasn't quite Killing Intent, but the directionless intent and _power_ the Sandaime cranked off his ageing but still powerful form actually raised the hairs on the back of Panther's neck and made her eyes widen unconsciously. It took more than she wanted to admit to for her to remain still and right next to the Fire Shadow. Any faces she pulled remained unseen and therefore ignorable.

The Hokage might be getting on in age, but he was still a kage.

"Forgive us, Hiruzen. We were not aware you had already taken this into account." Koharu murmured, eyes fixed on the desk covered with paperwork.

The assassin wondered what that had to do with anything, as the usual response to any admittance of ignorance in the shinobi ranks was usually met with a pointed suggestion to get a clue. She really should have done her homework rather than rush into a confrontation with a well-known opponent.

The older kunoichi finally lifted her gaze when the head of the Sarutobi clan said nothing, but kept her head bowed slightly. "We will take your advice into account before anymore ill thought out arguments arise."

That was actually pretty crafty of the older woman. Implied was the suggestion that she didn't support the objection the other two shinobi had raised and that she would try to ride herd on any further confrontations or that she would take the advice but act on it when she felt like it. Given the submissive posture it was likely the first option, but Koharu _was_ a kunoichi and could be faking.

"And you, Danzō?"

The two former friends and current rivals locked stares. After a few tense moments the bandaged Village Elder nodded once sharply, obviously in response of whatever silent comment the Hokage held in his gaze.

Just like that, the hair raising _Intent_ that permeated the room disappeared as if it was never there.

"Then while it was pleasant to see you all again, I do have paperwork to deal with." Hiruzen tilted his head forward and to the side, which gave a frankly sinister cast to his face when his hat shadowed part of his expression. "Unless you wish to aid me in reviewing civilian merchant routes for future mission assignments."

Panther was pretty damned impressed at the speed all three of the retired shinobi still possessed as they left through the office door.

"Forgive me for drawing you into that, Panther-chan. But I would like to get back to work sometime today."

The ANBU captain blinked at the Hokage, who looked perfectly unruffled after all that. "Not a problem, Hokage-sama."

She was dismissed back to guard duty with a short nod of thanks and the wave of one hand. As Panther slunk back into her Yin release genjutsu that hid her as a part of the Hokage's bookshelf, she had to wonder what had been the point of that confrontation.

Either Danzō wasn't nearly as bad right now as he would be later on, or he was trying to drive a wedge between the Hokage and his old teammates.

…he could have been fishing for more information, hidden under the guise of misguided concern and convinced the two old teammates of the Hokage to attack an irrelevant but similar topic to do said fishing and was wedging something between old teammates just because he could or had an opportunity to do it in.

It hadn't escaped the assassin's notice that the bandaged Village Elder had paid special attention to her summery of what the assassins of ANBU had thought of the mission.

Speculation would do her no good. She had no _proof_ , and speculation without facts were not enough to comment on it to anyone else.

\V/

The shinobi academy in Konohagakure started classes in mid-spring, ran until fall, and took a break over the winter before starting the cycle over again.

Kakashi had been both looking forward to and depressed about starting this part of his shinobi career. It made for a few interesting moments during the walk between the Hatake compound out on the edge of the village and the academy building situated in the shadow of the Hokage Monument, as he wavered between being excited to finally be going and being scared he would end up failing and get kicked out. The reincarnated former soldier tried her best to reassure the brat that he was probably too well trained for the school to interest him much, but she was sure the kid hadn't been listening to her.

Even though Natsumi walked Eri and the silver haired prodigy to the academy for the first day, mostly because Sakumo had written to ask her too via one of his Dogs since he couldn't be there, she really didn't expect to get a Genin Corps messenger from Eri about a problem with Kakashi's schooling barely a few weeks later.

To make it just that bit worse than having to call in the old student of one of the trainee's father just to resolve a problem, ANBU captain Panther had been on duty in the Hokage's office when the poor genin finally had to ask another ninja to find the Nara clan head's wife on Hatake Eri-sama's insistence. Sarutobi Hiruzen had been amused enough at the Genin Corps messenger's plight in trying to find one of his ANBU guards that he invited himself along so Natsumi could continue guarding his person while she dealt with whatever was upsetting the civilian woman enough to call for her help. The academy was only a few floors down from his office, after all.

When the Third Hokage walked calmly into a small classroom with his three semi-hidden ANBU guards and one Nara kunoichi, the assassin had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at how pale the chūnin instructors went. At least she wasn't in the black and white armor that marked ANBU agents.

Her career in the black ops division might not be much of a secret anymore, as practically everyone she knew thought correctly that she was a part of it, but the misplaced soldier had to admit privately it seemed like something that wouldn't last very much longer as a secret. Especially since as soon as her friends started having kids she might be the only one left in the village when they get into trouble, and couldn't guarantee she wouldn't ever show up in armor.

"Hiruki-sensei isn't teaching anymore?" Natsumi cast her green eye over the rather young looking instructors gathered in the room and facing off against a visibly upset Hatake Eri. "Pity, he was pretty good for a chūnin."

"He's unfortunately otherwise occupied, Natsumi-chan." Hiruzen fiddled with his pipe, intending to clean it instead of lighting it in a place where children were taught. "I had to pull a lot of the older chūnin instructors out of here and staff it with some inexperienced younger ninjas, since we needed their experience elsewhere."

"Sarutobi-sama, Natsumi-chan." Eri greeted, too relieved to question why the ghost eyed kunoichi had come with the Hokage. "We seem to have a little difference of opinion here."

Since the chūnin instructors that pulled themselves away from their normal duties to attend this meeting had yet to pull themselves together in the face of the Sandaime, Natsumi turned to the older looking civilian woman first. "What's wrong?"

"You said to refuse if the instructors ask to advance Kakashi-kun unless he asked for it. Junko-sensei isn't taking no for an answer."

The assassin had a bad feeling it was something like that. It wasn't implausible for a ninja trainee to refuse advancement; it had been offered to Minato, the Hyūga twins, and herself a few times, and the instructors had frequently asked Shikaku to get off his lazy ass back when they were academy students. But normally they only asked once or twice before dropping the subject for a few weeks. She had also made it a point to explain everything the kids were supposed to learn every year to the silver haired brat and why it was a good idea to at least acquaint himself to the other students, so he damn well shouldn't be asking to skip a year for another few months at _least_.

There was a creeping suspicion in the back of her mind that this was when the academy practices of the Second War ended and the shinobi academy became more 'civilian friendly'. Some things should have remained from her academy experience even after a war and ten years of peace unless something major changed. Said some things couldn't all have been good, seeing as one of the changes was the misconception that advancing immature students past certain subjects dealt with in certain years was a good thing and throwing ill prepared, too young genin headfirst into a war they couldn't do anything for was a good idea.

Like Kakashi and Itachi. Both were graduated well before they were old enough to do anything as genin, and both did not turn out well because of that. Kakashi because he felt like he had something to prove to other shinobi during a time of war, Itachi because he was exposed to the bloody price of conflict way too young and thrown into chūnin then jōnin duty and ANBU before he could realistically survive it sane.

Anyone claiming the ANBU captain was sane needed their head checked. If she hadn't actually been about forty when she was physically eleven, she was sure she would be just as badly off as the young Uchiha heir had been. After all, she couldn't be a hypocrite unless she really had been eleven when she became ANBU Panther.

With a nod to Eri to show she understood the problem, the Nara kunoichi turned to the instructors. "Why?"

One of the academy sensei crossed his arms over his chest, probably in response to the suggestion that she was partly responsible for the civilian's refusal to allow her son to be jumped a year. "There is nothing else for us to teach him. Kakashi-kun might be a few years younger than most other children we're teaching, but he won't get anything out of sitting through lectures he already knows."

Natsumi was yet again not impressed by the augments of those around her. "You're telling me a _five-year-old child_ knows more than all the _chūnin_ in this building?"

The younger man standing before her flushed with embarrassment, but rallied only after a moment's hesitation. "He knows more than enough for _genin!_ "

"Yes… but that's not the point." The blank stares she got in return was finally enough to spark some of her mild temper. The ANBU captain didn't get irritated often, she was way too old for that, but there were still some hot buttons around that pissed her right off. Ignorance, _willful_ ignorance, of those that should know better was one of them. "He's here to make contacts with his fellow shinobi… and, you know, grow up a little."

Hiruzen, who until that point had been content with standing around and looking intimidating until the chūnin forgot about him, took in the number of faces that showed their incomprehension with a frown.

Natsumi wasn't sure what he was thinking, since she was sure the Honorable Tobirama-sama hadn't built the building when he was in training for shinobi life. But she wasn't putting past the older man to know exactly what functions the academy played in Konoha's shinobi ranks.

At the moment she had other fish to fry than wondering what the Hokage was plotting.

"You do realize the academy is for more than just learning the basics of the ninja arts, right?"

The continued blank looks were not doing much for her temper.

"Oh dear kami-sama." The assassin buried her face in her hands. This was a lot worse than she was expecting.

(ooo000ooo)

"The academy needs a Minato."

Shikaku blinked, thrown by the seemingly random nonsensical comment, and looked over to where his wife was inking something on the inside of a black streaked mask. "Come again?"

The two of them had come to the unspoken agreement that if there really wasn't anything going on with their friends they would remain at home for the unspoken for evenings. This was another such night, one he was taking advantage of to finish his clan related work and she worked on whatever fūinjutsu that caught her attention.

Natsumi nibbled on her lower lip as she set her mask aside to dry and dutifully repeated herself. "The academy needs a Minato."

Since it hadn't made much more sense the second time around, the born Nara turned to give his full attention to his wife rather than the slight amount of paperwork his clan generated. There were some benefits to being the clan head of a clan of typically lazy shinobi, and the permeating view of the evils of generating paperwork was one of them. "I don't understand."

She had thought her comment was self-explanatory but humored her husband anyways. "I had to go to the academy today. Apparently, the instructors were pressuring Eri-san to let Kakashi-kun advance a year. Like, not taking no for an answer pressure."

The shadow master frowned slightly, recalling the instances he had been asked to advance a year during their academy days. They hadn't been nearly so anal to involve his own father when he refused them years ago. "Okay, I can see why that might be a problem. But you obviously told them no for Eri-sama, and while I understand why that might be unnerving for a civilian… what does Minato have to do with it?"

"Shika, the new instructors didn't realize the academy had other functions beyond teaching. The poor clan kids are probably bored out of their skulls with being kept to the civilian raised kids' level, and they're not allowed to do their normal time wasting social tasks during class while waiting for the second year to start." The frustrated assassin shoved a hand through her long hair, scowling at her fūinjutsu tools for the lack of anything else acceptable to glare at. "Not only will that alienate the clan raised trainees from their lesser prepared fellows, but they're practically forced to repeat lessons they already know well from just _living_ with a ninja parent. So they've got nothing to do but tedious tasks that really are below them in skill level and their view of maturity, which would make them irritable and less likely to form relationships with those 'slow' kids holding them back."

"And aggravating a problem the academy already had in spades." Shikaku himself hadn't had any civilian raised kids as friends until Minato approached him for his academy leadership test. In all actuality, only the blond fūinjutsu specialist could have been called 'civilian' raised since he couldn't remember if either of his dead parents were shinobi. His ghost eyed wife had a kunoichi for a mother, and while the two hadn't known each other for long Natsumi was still the daughter of a ninja.

"So the academy is almost like I was, old and kind of broken. Technically functional, but not as it used to be. Kami knows I was a wreck before Minato took interest in me."

Especially since Umino Iruka wasn't at the point he could do the fixing. She was mostly sure the kid was five or something right now. A bit too young to put in charge of a school for midget ninjas.

Lips twitching as he at least comprehended the direction of his wife's thoughts, the shadow master couldn't contain the fond smirk inching across his face. "And therefore you decided the academy needs a Minato to fix it. There does seem to be a small problem with that, Natsu."

Sensing the teasing coming on, the assassin turned her glare to him.

"There is only _one_ Minato, and I don't think the Hokage will let him languish in the academy just because he's good at fixing broken things."

Ghost colored eyes blinked once. "That was corny, Shika."

"I learned from the best." It did at least raise a slight smile on his wife's face, so he could deal with the shame of cracking a bad joke. Her view of once being 'broken' was probably true, given the work Inoichi had put into her, so his attention turned to her problem with the academy. "Who was there, besides you and Eri-sama?"

"Hiruzen-sama, but that was only because I was on guard duty when the request for me to join the meeting came through. He was good enough to follow along so I wasn't technically ducking out of my duties in guarding him. I didn't recognize anyone else." Natsumi blinked a few times as another thought occurred to her. "Holy crap… I'm _old!_ … _again!_ "

Shikaku gave up trying to be serious and laughed at her. The assassin threw one of the pillows from the couch at his head, fighting down a grin herself.

"How can you be old when we're not even twenty yet?"

"Because I'm almost fifty if you look at it differently."

"I think I prefer the not-yet-twenty view, thanks." He caught the second pillow before it could impact his face and shoved it behind himself. No reason to give ammunition back to her, he liked his work unmarred from ink stains. "Alright, if the Sandaime saw the same thing you did will he do anything about it?"

"I'm not sure. I don't know what he thought about it. But he was frowning, so I know he knows something is off. And he has two sons in the academy right now."

The shadow master nodded thoughtfully. "Something to bring up the next clan head meeting with him, for sure."

Natsumi sighed, fingering her now dry mask. "Is there anything else we can do?"

It probably wasn't intentional, but it still seemed like the current instructors were sabotaging the academy. That was mostly why it was bothering her so much.

"We can warn the other clans and we should probably tell the civilian parents why it would be a bad idea to let their children skip years."

Now that was a scary thought. Was the fact Kakashi and Itachi were the only ones to _survive_ skipping academy years part of the reason they were so well known for it in another life?

\V/

The first thing Inuzuka Tsume said, or more like barked, when she entered Natsumi's tea room was a terse, "I'm pregnant."

In the silence that followed, the other clan affiliated and one not affiliated kunoichi in the room blinked at the brash alpha of the Inuzukas and her faithful Kuromaru, looked at each other, and then turned back to her and her ninken.

"That's… nice? Do you want me to make you something special?" Natsumi frowned thoughtfully when the wild woman didn't respond. "I know pregnant women have some strange cravings, but I'm game to try anything once."

"Well… you did cook for Minato, Chouza, yourself, and me for a few years. Sometimes all at once too. I could totally see you eating pickles and ice cream simply because someone said it was a good combination." Kushina smirked a little. "I'm pretty sure it's a stereotype and not actually something a pregnant woman would eat. Even if she is a kunoichi."

"I don't know… Eri-san had some strange requests when she was pregnant with Kakashi-kun. But she mostly stuck to ginger heavy foods. And you can't talk about my eating habits, miss I'll eat anything in ramen."

Mikoto rubbed the side of her nose in exasperation. "I have no idea why I keep coming to this thing. I keep expecting it to be somewhat respectable and yet it turns out to be more of a gossip session over tea than a meeting of clan issues affecting kunoichi."

"I'm not sure why you're surprised." Hyūga Misaki might not be married into the little circle of ninja friends yet, but she was well entrenched into the kunoichi side of that circle. "We haven't had any difficulty discussed in the whole year I've been coming to this tea party."

Kokkali Mebuki, her team back from the Kusa front for a little while due to her boyfriend's expertise needed for another mission, just remained silent as she watched what was going on. It was her first meeting, and she had no idea why her sometimes taijutsu coach had invited her. It was safer to remain silent in her view of things, she wouldn't mind getting invited back a few times.

" _I'm_ not sure why you all keep thinking that there is a point to these meetings. But that does remind me." The ANBU captain in the room turned back to the last kunoichi to show up. "Tsume, did Shikaku say anything about the academy when he was at the clan head meeting?"

"What? Oh, yeah." Since it seemed like her fellow kunoichi didn't have a problem with her pregnancy taking her off the active duty rosters for the next year, the brash kunoichi dropped to the floor next to the Nara hosting them. "Something about how the new instructors bungled the clan training side of things and were encouraging something that might hinder genin later on."

Natsumi obligingly scratched behind Kuromaru's ears when the intelligent, chakra using ninja dog wandered over to her. Seeing as now his partner was less stressed he could finally relax. Being stressed wasn't good for the pup and these humans were good for his own human.

For some reason, the dog didn't mind the smell of cat on the Leopard Summoner even if her taicho's Dogs seemed not to like it very much. "That made no sense unless you already know, by the way."

The Uchiha genjutsu mistress paused in the act of passing the Inuzuka a cup of tea. "Wait, _what?_ "

"Fugaku will know by now, so will Hiashi." When that didn't seem to calm either one of the Uchiha or Hyūga representatives there, the assassin sighed and expounded on the topic. "Short version of the story is that Eri-san had summoned me because the instructors were insisting that Kakashi-kun skip years right off the bat. I said hell no and asked what else they thought the academy was for. They didn't understand."

"But…" Kushina scowled at the ceiling while she thought. "Half a decade of shinobi would go through the academy at the same time as any one student. How else would Kakashi-kun know them well enough to spot impersonators than by taking class with them for a year or three? Or two, but I don't think he'll do more than skip a year."

"And he won't have any idea what kind of skills they had unless they told him straight away when they meet later for a mission. That's normally not standard practice unless you're really outranked or your team leader is significantly older than you are." Misaki's silvery white eyes narrowed on the short table holding the teapot and extra cups as she came to her own conclusions. "That… is very shortsighted of the academy sensei."

"It's not our old instructors either." The alarmed attention that comment earned her made the assassin wave a hand to show she didn't mean the comment as it came out. "The old instructors are probably off in Kusa right now. These new instructors are all chūnin corps members who probably didn't figure it all out themselves."

" _I_ didn't know that." Mebuki lowered her teacup slightly, staring wide eyed around at the other four jōnin ranked kunoichi in the room. "But wow does that make sense. Is that what makes a jōnin track genin different from a genin corps genin?"

"Comprehension of the unstated is something the jōnin-sensei are looking for, but not always." The new Uchiha matron patted the taijutsu specialist absently on the shoulder. "Some children are rather slow on the uptake just before or after puberty."

"Willingness to work together is a key trait." Sweeping her ruby red hair out of the way, Kushina slung an arm over the blonde woman's shoulders once she wouldn't pull her own hair doing it. "Looking out for your fellows is another. But usually they look for the kids already making use of the shinobi skills they have been taught. The jōnin are required to spend a few months at the academy picking out students before they formally take on a team unless ordered to take one on because there are more likely teams than jōnin-sensei for a year. The ones not picked, wouldn't fit on the three man cells, or even considered for teams are kicked to the genin corps. If you're doing something naughty, like bullying or harassing others, you immediately get dropped out of the academy."

"There are exceptions to those, but they are the main ones." Natsumi agreed lightly, keeping an eye on Mebuki's expression. "I think I was only considered because I snuck into the academy after hours and stole our academy records out of the office just to see what they said."

Mikoto raised a hand to politely hide her smirk. The red head across from her had no such manners and snickered at their host. "And you jumped like a scalded cat when they confronted you about it."

"Damn. I can't believe you did that." Tsume whistled lowly in approval. "You've got some brass ones, Natsumi."

"But it's the Hokage's Tower!" The blonde squeaked.

"Actually, it was the lower offices and the security there was rather lacking when I made the attempt."

Misaki shook her head, a small curve of her lips the only sign of her amusement. "But still, Natsumi-san. An attempt on the building the Hokage uses daily would not be overlooked."

"Saa, I was… what? Eleven? - _ish_. No one ever said I was the _smartest_ kunoichi of our year. I was possibly the most reckless, though."

The kunoichi that _knew_ understood the ghost eyed assassin's ambiguity on her actual age, so they ignored it.

"Speaking of the academy, does anyone know what happened to Keiko-san?"

Natsumi blinked blankly at Kushina. "Who?"

The jinchūriki smirked even more than she had been. "The kunoichi you replaced on Jiraiya-sama's team seven. I didn't like her very much."

"Was that because she was on the team of your childhood crush, and had a crush of her own on him?"

"So! Anyways." Cutting into the conversation before Mikoto could make Kushina turn as red as her hair, the reincarnated former solider turned to the last of them to arrive. "Tsume, did someone say something about you being pregnant? You were rather tense coming in."

The Inuzuka explained that a shinobi she didn't really know accused her of getting pregnant to avoid the war effort when she went in to the mission assignment hall to report herself as on maternity leave. As the rest of the kunoichi then started plotting how to make his life a living hell, Natsumi had to admit this was so far the best use of her tea parties the whole time she had been hosting them.

Shikaku's expression when he finally came home and heard the last bit of it from the hallway was just icing on the cake.

There was a reason the tea room wasn't sealed for privacy. It usually got her husband out of the house on his own every month.

\V/

Natsumi narrowed her mismatched eyes, huffing when Minato wouldn't meet her gaze.

"Whatever Shikaku told you we did, we didn't do it."

"Aa… it's not that, sempai." The blond rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, already slightly cringing away from the assassin. "I've got orders… for Kusa."

Her eyes widened, staring dumbly at her brother in all but blood. "You are at least going with someone, right? There had better be supervision on this trip."

Minato paused and peered suspiciously down at the shorter kunoichi. "You make it sound like I need someone watching me."

"In my defense, you decided it was a good idea to draw seals after three days of sleep deprivation. I decided you need a keeper the same third day of sleeplessness when you came up with sealing scrolls for living animals. Why do you think I spent all that time on your couch?"

"I was _thirteen!_ Are you ever going to let that go?"

"…no."

When the blond decided muttering under his breath was good for whatever little maturity he had, Natsumi's attention went back to the view. The two of them were sitting on top of the Hokage's Monument again, this time on the fūinjutsu user's insistence. It had been a good long while since the last time the assassin sought out the blatant reminder that this world wasn't the same one she had originally been born into, and it looked different. Almost like it had during the slower parts of the Second War.

"So… who supervises me now? I mean, you don't spend a part of every day with me anymore."

"Kushina-hime. Who else?"

"Oh dear kami- _sama_ …"

"Hey, she's your girlfriend." She shrugged unrepentantly at the disbelief on her kouhai's face. "If you'd rather I tell Inoichi about that short lived goal of yours and the squirrels that will be forever immortalized as examples of ill thought out plans and seals made up by technically insane preteen boys, I will."

"I… don't want to know what he'd make of that, thanks."

The two of them made a few more pointed remarks about their childhood as shinobi, then Minato complained bitterly after a few examples that he had less material than Natsumi did.

"That's probably a good thing, you know."

"It's still not fair."

The assassin laughed at him. "We're ninja, unfair is what we do."

The future Yondaime was almost going to comment on that, but she slapped down one of her own privacy seals on the stone they were sitting on. "What's that for?"

"When I was actually fourteen," the misplaced soldier started slowly, determinedly not looking at the shocked blond next to her, "I decided it was a good idea to get drunk. Because, obviously, I was so mature at fourteen. I snuck my mother's hard alcohol, the stuff she used for cooking, out of the house and drank a fourth of the bottle in one go. I think I promptly passed out, but I might have been singing drunkenly for a while since my throat was sore the whole day after and I didn't smell anything other than spilled whiskey. When woke up the next morning, still outside, my father was standing over me with the most disappointed expression I had ever seen him with. The hangover wasn't anything compared to the horribly guilty feeling I got when I saw his face. I never touched a drop after that day unless the alcohol was cooked out, and that still holds true even now."

Minato twitched slightly, then burst out laughing.

"Your support is touching. I'm horribly scarred from that, and you're sniggering at me."

The deadpan tone of voice she used didn't help matters in the least.

It took a good five minutes for the jōnin shinobi to finally calm down from his hysterics, the point of which Natsumi was seriously considering pushing the blond off the cliff. Minato had both his hiraishin and chakra control at his disposal, he'd live.

"You are awesome, sempai."

Hmm, flattery to escape corporal punishment… maybe.

"Why?"

"Cause I was kinda nervous about going out to Kusa. That's why I wanted you to come up here with me."

"Sensei is in Kusa. You'll be fine… or rather, the squirrels will be." At the faintly irritated look that comment earned her, the assassin sighed and got serious. "I'm obviously bribing you with stories from my past for your safe return. Every time you come back safe and sound I'll owe you a story from my misspent youth in another world. I'm trusting you to keep count, though. I don't know how much we both will be in the village for the next few years."

Minato froze for a moment. " _Damn_ … I thought… sempai?"

"I don't think I could handle you dying on me, Minato." Admitting it was half terrifying and half relieving. "Shikaku might actually be enough for my sanity to survive, but that wouldn't really be fair to him. So you just can't die. You have to be alive to be the godfather of my firstborn."

It was why she had trouble breaking out of her small corner of the world and making more friends. She didn't know how many of her few but mostly Uchiha acquaintances survived the Third Shinobi World War and didn't want to risk getting close to them and losing even more pieces of herself. Shia was probably the only one for the next few years Natsumi would take a chance on unless she knew them from a vague and hazy story she couldn't really recall in detail anymore.

If the blond found that disturbing, he didn't comment on it.

"Furthermore, if you do die. I will kick in the door to the Shinigami's realm, drag you out by your hair, and kill you. Then I'll do it again, but I'll let Kushina-hime kill you. And I'll do it a third time, and let Jiraiya-sensei kill you. Understand?"

"…I think I prefer the bribery angle rather than the death threat one."

"Sucks to be you, then."

\V/

Minato wasn't the only one to leave, Fugaku and Hizashi both got sent out with him.

Mikoto got out of the orders only because the beginning of her pregnancy was caught during the cursory medical checks demanded before deployment, and she ended up spending a whole lot more time with Tsume than she planned on.

Kushina was practically confined to the greater part of Konohagakure due to possible threats to her person if it became known she was the demon container, but the jinchūriki didn't care for it gave her more time with the pregnant Uchiha and cooing over baby bumps.

Shikaku admitted he only got out of going because of his team needed him for their snatch and grab missions, and there was not enough time to train another Nara shadow master to take his place for him to go. Which let him, Inoichi, and Chouza remain behind in the village with her as part of the emergency response reserves. Something she would never complain about seeing as the Akimichi finally got together with the waitress he met a few months ago and the two of them were being sickeningly sweet together while they were on standby.

Shibi left a few weeks after Minato's group, taking along the bulk of the tokubetsu jōnin and Misaki with him. Which left the bulk of ANBU, a large number of chūnin, and almost two thirds of the jōnin remaining behind in the Village Hidden in the Leaves just in case. The genin were already all over the place normally, so they didn't count.

Needless to say, Natsumi was horrifically uncomfortable with not going with her blond almost brother and guarding his back like Jiraiya had asked her too. She might have ANBU duties and guarding the village to blame it on, but knew if the fūinjutsu user died out there the Toad Sage really wouldn't forgive her. She did send the news that his apprentice would be joining him through her Leopards, just so the sannin could do the guarding she could no longer do.

In an attempt to distract herself from her worries, the assassin ended up spending a lot of her free time between the Hatake compound with Eri and the academy.

The academy that was still a shadow of it's former glory, because some stuck up chūnin didn't understand something when they were students and decided to do away with the major handles the academy used to separate the good shinobi candidates and the bad or risky ones. There were not any more viable candidates to replace the chūnin ruining the academy's reputation, as all the jōnin track chūnin were either currently unavoidably tied up or off in Kusa and the Chūnin Corps apparently couldn't be trusted with it. Now all it really was left to be was a school, and so painfully obvious it grated Natsumi in a way that was almost physically painful. Shikaku had not been amused to be falsely alarmed over that.

Although she really couldn't do much about the level of ignorance the chūnin instructors were perpetuating in the next generation of Konoha shinobi, she could and did encourage Kakashi to copy the methods behind picking specializations of the academy during the Second War. Once her favorite silver haired brat got competent at it, started challenging him to observe and catalogue his fellow academy students and write her a report on them. Then roped Koichi, Nawaki, and Asuma into it.

Predictably, once the clan kids saw and asked their parents about what the Hatake kid, the Senju heir, and the Sarutobi brothers were doing it was pretty popular to do it even if the chūnin-sensei were determinedly not paying attention. Even the civilian raised kids were starting to get in on it, and that was pretty bad.

Hey, she was bored.

Sarutobi Hiruzen, who Natsumi saw nearly every day since she was waiting on an assassination that needed a full squad, simply smirked when he saw the assassin carefully coaching the younger children how to do certain things that might not actually be a part of the academy curriculum.

By the time there was another assassination that needed Panther's skills, a rather nice break from the short, day long missions around the greater part of Fire Country; it was the beginning of summer and it was highly not recommended to spend time with the moody Inuzuka alpha or the obsessing Uchiha matron. Kushina, the complete bitch, managed to navigate the treacherous waters of hormonally pregnant kunoichi and remain on the twosome's good side. Needless to say, Natsumi bought a lot of chocolate that spring to bribe her way out of the doghouse with her friends.

The day before her ANBU mission she absconded with both Sarutobi boys, the Senju brat, and the Hatake heir, dragging them to Training Grounds Three and buying popsicles to share for old time's sake. She knew more than the chūnin on teaching duty so Koichi and Nawaki weren't missing anything she couldn't teach them, and neither Kakashi nor Asuma were really missing anything by skipping a day of first year. She did at least inform the ANBU guards that watched the Hokage's kids and the Senju heir what she was going to do before doing it and paid them with fruit laced ice too.

Natsumi broke one with Kakashi and handed Nawaki half of one his guards broke, letting the siblings break their own. "So, what have you all learned recently? Since, you know, two days ago when I saw you four last?"

"Girls are weird, Natsumi-sempai."

She was despairing of ever ditching that tag. "Do I want to know why you think that?"

Koichi thought about it, but finally pulled a face and shook his head wildly. "No, I don't think you're going to want to know."

Nawaki nodded furiously in agreement, which was a little odd to watch him do with a stick of ice hanging out of his mouth.

Natsumi blinked, recalling her own second year and the likely reason why the eldest of the boys with her thought her gender was weird. He was the Hokage's eldest son and the only other Senju grandchild, after all, and that meant fan girls. "Aa… well. Trust me, it will only get more confusing. Asuma-kun, Kakashi-kun? What about you two?"

"Junko-sensei really doesn't like you." The silver haired prodigy bluntly informed his older sister figure after he bit off the top of his popsicle. "We've got nearly all of the first year academy students doing the same specialization training, and half of the second year, and there are five trap specialists in our classroom right now."

"Oh… oh no. You tell me this _now_." Her face gave lie to the words, considering the grin that the assassin couldn't do anything about. "Damn you, Kakashi-kun. And I probably won't be _here_ to see it."

Asuma's popsicle slid off his stick and hit the ground, but he didn't pay attention to it at all. He had already eaten half of it and the Leopard Summoner was usually obliging enough to give up the rest of her frozen stick of icy fruit to whoever lost theirs' first. "You're leaving too?"

Natsumi licked the melting fruit juice off her fingers before answering. "I've got a mission, but I should be back in a week or so. It won't be like the ninjas going off to Kusa for a few month stretches, Asuma-kun."

Of course to two nine-year-olds, an eight-year-old, and a genius or not six-year-old, a week or so was practically forever. Their expressions of horror were particularly cute, but the assassin was sure there would be some manly protests that boys were not cute if she ever said anything about it.

"Before I forget, you have any trouble with the academy sensei while I'm gone you three are to go to either the Hokage, Shikaku, or Kushina-hime." She gave them all a stern glare, probably not really all that effective because she did give the younger Sarutobi brother the rest of her popsicle while she was talking. "You could also go to Mikoto or Tsume, but only if you really want to be mean."

"I don't think I'm going to skip a year, now." Kakashi told her after polishing off his stick and gnawing on it to splinters. "Making Junko-sensei's life hell is really fun."

"That wasn't probably the best thing to teach you, but the idiot really was getting on my nerves the one time I had to deal with him." Natsumi allowed, grimacing over the situation that led to her current crime of assisting delinquent behavior in academy students. "And if your kaa-san ever hears the word 'hell' out of your mouth, what do you tell her?"

"Otou-sama said it." The prodigy dutifully repeated with a toothy smirk that probably didn't bode well for the kid's father. To be fair, Kakashi wasn't happy that Sakumo had been stuck in Kusa for his first day of the academy. Enabling his revenge was probably another thing she really shouldn't be doing with these four kids, but that was just added on to an already long list of things she shouldn't have done.

All Natsumi knew was that the man had better be home for the brat's graduation, or the kid would probably raise unholy hell over it.

"Right, well… I heard Koichi-kun's and Nawaki-kun's problem with fan girls, and Kakashi-kun's contribution to the 'drive Junko-sensei out of the academy' project, what do you have for me, Asuma-kun?"

The kid actually put some thought into the question instead of spouting off the first thing that came to mind. To be fair, Kakashi probably thought of a million and three things in three seconds flat, but Asuma really was very easygoing and calm even at this age. By the time he decided on an answer, Koichi had gotten over his surprise the kunoichi had divined his problem from thin air. Nawaki was too damned used to Natsumi being all knowing and hadn't even flinched over it.

"My chakra element is wind."

"Wait. Isn't the Hokage fire natured? And if so, how did you end up with wind, Asuma-kun?"

Asuma wrinkled his nose in thought, staring at the silver haired prodigy of the Hatake clan. "Actually, I don't think I know Oyaji's element. I think everyone assumes it is fire because he's the Hokage."

"Someone in your family had to have wind. I think the elements are genetic." Natsumi thought aloud for the benefit of the four kids around her. "That's why the Land of Fire is called such, because we have the greatest concentration of fire elemental chakra in our shinobi. Same holds true for most of the other greater Elemental Countries, like Kirigakure having a lot of suiton chakra natured shinobi and Sunagakure having the most fūton. That wouldn't be possible if the parents' chakra nature didn't influence the child's."

"Natsumi-chan."

The calm voice jarred all five of them, and the assassin turned to pout at the Hokage. "Did Junko-sensei admit he lost two clan kids from his class already? I thought we had more time."

Sarutobi Hiruzen had arrived with a popsicle in his hand, and he broke it in half to give part of it to the ghost eyed ANBU captain. "He hasn't yet admitted anything to me, but it was amusing to arrive at the academy level to hear him panicking about how to inform me. I do have to protest your vendetta against him, though."

"So you thought to come out and slum it with us, Hiruzen-sama? I'm flattered."

The Hokage, who Natsumi had been spending a lot of time with lately, simply raised an eyebrow at his quirky jōnin kunoichi. "I decided to spend some time with my sons, and inform you that I need to you move faster than we planned on."

Her minor start of surprise was concealed by the kids asking the older shinobi about Asuma's chakra nature. She signed her acknowledgement in ANBU signals and ruffled the kids' hair while giving her new half a popsicle to Nawaki, claiming to leave them in good hands but she had mission preparations to make.


	8. Combat Tours and Mastery

_It is said there is three sides to every conflict. Your side, their side, and the truth._

_What about Mother Nature's side?_

* * *

"Is this going to become a habit?"

Natsumi paused and twisted around to look at her husband. The act was more than a little awkward due to the slash she was stitching up on her left side, just below her breast. "What? The meeting up in the bathroom thing? I don't know. Do you want to keep meeting up with me in the bathroom after my ANBU missions? It's a little creepy, to be honest."

Shikaku ignored that, eyes fixed on the neat gash in his wife's skin. "The coming home injured thing. I thought you had a medic on your squad."

"I wasn't actually injured the last time. I only had a new scar." The assassin hummed, pulling the last of the thread through her skin and finally pulling the gaping wound closed. Tying off the last of the stitches, the middle of the injury because you had to start on the ends or it was never neat, she snipped off the excess thread and put her tools in the sink to be sterilized. There were times she despaired over the fact she couldn't use medical jutsu to fix herself up. "Horse had to keep Bat alive after the idiot attracted the attention of a Kirigakure shinobi team we caught sight of on our way back. Needless to say, they're never going home and we ended up a bit cut up at the end. I declined Horse's offer to seal it up because by the time Bat was stable she was exhausted and we could already see the village's walls."

There were no rules about telling those that knew you had a mask and a funny little tattoo what you were up to in ANBU. There were rules that said you couldn't talk about mission objectives or your fellow ANBU agents unless using their masks' animal name. Natsumi might walk a fine line between it all, but it was worth it. She had more than enough secrets already, and she did not want to keep more from her husband.

"Dare I hope Bat-baka has remedial training coming up for getting his ANBU-taicho injured?" The man finally took a few steps into the tiled room, helping her into a shirt she stole from his side of the dresser without pulling her stitching out. "If not, you can tell me his real name and I'll have to ask him over for some sparring."

Now that she was no longer bleeding out, however slight the injury was there was always the risk of poison or anticoagulants used to ensure minor injuries wouldn't stay that way, Natsumi relaxed back into the Nara clan head's hold. "No need to get violent, hubby mine. Horse and Boar were not amused, and promised me to force him through extra training with silent methods for traveling during the next few weeks. It might have been a rookie mistake, but it was still a mistake. I've got until the stitches come out before I have to go back."

"So what, two or three days?"

"Bout then, yeah." It wasn't a major injury after all, and she'd probably see an iryou-nin about it before long just to be safe. The dermal layer of skin had been sliced clean through and although the injury reached from the part of her chest her armor didn't cover to the outer part of her back, Natsumi didn't think the muscle was cut into. "I'm a little surprised you're not asking about the Kiri-nin, honestly."

"They've been sniffing around." Shikaku lazily shrugged in dismissal. "Rumor has it Mist was asking around Wave about what's going on in Kusa, so you might have run into a scouting team or an espionage attempt."

Ghost eyes blinked at him as she sorted that in her head. There hadn't been much time between spotting the Mist-nin and her infiltrator attracting attention, and during the fight she hadn't been all that concerned trying to figure out what they were doing, rather she was trying to keep Bat from getting beheaded or gutted. Being gutted hurts, after all. Now that she had the space to think, the assassin wondered exactly what they had been doing so far from the water. "I brought the corpses back as they were, so Inoichi would probably know more."

"I'll probably hear from him first, then." The shadow master squeezed her lightly, more to not pull the skin around her stitching than anything else, and let her slip out of his hold as he headed back to the bedroom. "That pack of brats you mentor have been asking for you."

Natsumi started running water over the curved needle, a pair of scissors, and a pair of small forceps, digging the bleach out from under the sink. "Oh really? Not surprised, we overran it by two days and I told them only a week or so."

"Yeah, Hiruzen-sama had to put his foot down. They're not allowed to leave the academy without adult supervision, and no, it doesn't count if we don't actually go to the academy to pick them up before they leave it."

She barked a laugh, stopping the drain and pouring the cleaner over the steel sitting in the sink. "Cute. How many times did they get away with that?"

"Four times. They went to visit Eri-sama the first day, Kushina the next, hid out in the Nara fields with me the third day, and ran to Tsume the last time they tried. The alpha of the Inuzukas wants me to pass on that she's highly amused you said not to bother her unless they wanted to be mean to whoever is giving them trouble."

"That's not what I said, and you both know it." Capping the bleach, the assassin returned it to the cupboard under the sink and put away the sterilized tools in the first aid kit on the counter. She left the room, nose wrinkling at the smell of bleach that followed her out, and placed her hands on her hips once she had sight of her husband sitting on the bed. "So what's up?"

"I don't think I ever appreciated being genin before." Shikaku told her truthfully, arms folded over his chest. "I knew less, so the waiting around wasn't that bad during the Second War."

Natsumi's smirk softened in understanding. "I'm mostly sure you slept through the Second War when not actually on mission. But yeah, the knowing just enough to worry thing is annoying as hell, isn't it?"

He eyed her as she finished getting dressed, finally appreciating how frustrating being an adult in a child's body had to have been for her during the Second War.

No wonder she had practically into everything under the sun back in the academy but practically ignored the other kids she was learning with, trying not to take offense when told she was very mature for her age or praised for noticing things normal children took for granted. Minato probably had come along at the best possible time. Between the crushing guilt over her old life's end, whatever despair losing everything she held dear caused her, and being treated as the child she had long since grown up from; _someone_ that treated her with the respect given to a mentor and who she could hold on to had to be incredibly tempting for the physically younger, grief-stricken Natsumi.

He was only slightly surprised, with his more recent view of their academy years, that she hadn't just abandoned them when Minato had started treating her as a friend rather than a respected tutor. Natsumi having to not only slow herself down for his friends' childish views of the world but obsessively control the way she spoke to them had to be one of the more frustrating facts of his wife's early life here.

After all, what did a war veteran at thirty and something years of age have in common with a pack of brats ranging from ten to thirteen-years-old?

It spoke of both an unreal grip over her personality and steel-strong self-control, or possibly some nearly indefinite patience for children. Probably the latter given she was the self-appointed over watch for the academy terrors at the moment.

It also explained why she first evened up with Inoichi's help then mellowed out more as the years went on. Less distractions were needed to keep herself sane and she could put more effort into the little she could do once chūnin. Making her less erratic as time went by, as when more responsibilities came to her Natsumi focused the entirety of her two lives on the solution. Starting with the Hyūga twin's seal problem and continuing all the way up to meeting Tsume and Shibi and sorting them out; it gave her something to do rather than sit and overthink about her life and what when on in both of them. Hitting jōnin had to be like a breath of fresh air, the remaining few restrictions of her physical age would fall away and she could get the respect and information she was used to getting in another life.

He would probably go mad if restricted to a child's scope of the world at this point. His wife didn't scare him, per say, but he did have a lot of respect for her.

"So, since the academy is already out and I'm sure at least Kakashi-kun's already been by to see if I'm home yet, want to go with me to get something to eat? I don't feel like cooking."

Of course, there were distractions and there were _distractions_. Shikaku liked to think of himself as the latter one, and was pretty sure of it since she really didn't try that hard to reject the idea of marrying him a few years ago when he let his own mother and best friend annoy him into asking. "Sure. Ichiraku Ramen?"

"Mmm, I can get started with letting the others know I'm still alive." Natsumi quirked a small smile and drew a long sleeved Nara clan coat over his shirt. "That is, if the hime still thinks of the place like her home away from home."

"I'm pretty sure the world could be ending and Kushina would still demand her ramen."

\V/

Minato ducked the retaliatory kunai swipe to the throat and used the hiraishin kunai seal to teleport back to his sensei's side and out of arms reach. "Three down."

Jiraiya just grunted, flicking his fingers through a set of hand seals so fast his hands were almost a blur and spitting out a rapid series of fireballs to distract the last two opponents.

One caught fire, swearing audibly as he ensured he wasn't really burning flesh, and in his moment of distraction the blond fūinjutsu user edged his kunai in wind chakra and threw them with deadly accuracy into the man's chest. The second one didn't get much farther away, Sakumo lunged into his path with a shunshin the same moment the last Iwa-nin tried to retreat and impaled him upon his katana.

All three shinobi paused when the fight ground to an abrupt halt, senses stretching out to ensure this was the last pocket of ninja they had to deal with before picking a place to set up camp. The Dog Summoner even sniffed the air, but shook his head since all he could get was the smell of burning leather. The blond had to crouch down and place his fingers to the earth to expand his senses far enough to ensure there were no more enemies around, before turning to his companions. "I can't get anything."

The Toad Sage and the ex-ANBU captain exchanged a look and a shrug, finally putting away the weapons in their hands.

"Alright, time for the fun part." Jiraiya bit open the side of his thumb and slammed a hand against the ground, Summoning one of his Toads with a cloud of burnt chakra that made Sakumo sneeze. "Kosuke, tell Tsunade-hime it's safe for the second wave to advance north."

The small red Toad saluted with a webbed wave, hopping off into the tall grasses that nearly grew everywhere in Kusa.

Minato had already began digging the shallow graves for the five dead Iwa-nin, using his fūton control to slice up the ground and roots holding the soil together and simply scooping the dirt out of the way. "How far?"

"We'll go about a mile off from where the front edge of our forces are supposed to stop and make our camp." Sakumo answered as he dragged the three the fūinjutsu user had killed in the initial ambush over to where the younger shinobi was working, checking their pockets for anything of use before dumping the bodies into the hole. "No point hanging around if anyone's going to miss these guys."

Calculating out exactly where that would leave the small team by the merits of total recall of the map Tsunade held, the blond nodded absently and shoved the loose dirt over the grave after his sealing master dumped the last two bodies into the hole.

When the three of them finally did create a temporary camp for the next few nights, Minato took advantage of the one way privacy seals containing any noise around camp to talk to his teacher. The camp might only be halfheartedly hidden, to draw enemy attention before they ran into the larger camp on a mile away, but there was no sense in making it easy for any Rock-nin to eavesdrop on them.

"You know, it's a little ridiculous how I was trained to do some things without even knowing it."

Jiraiya looked up briefly from the day's report he would be taking back to Konohagakure no Sato later that week. "Oh?"

"Sempai's favorite game of 'I'm going to randomly throw something at your head and you'd better be paying attention', or the frequent times she tried to ambush me and draw on my face with Kushina." He glared at the white haired sannin when the older shinobi just chuckled at him. "I noticed back when we were genin you'd never stop her from trying to kill us with sharp things… but it wasn't just your sadistic side coming through. It was a kind of training, wasn't it?"

"Neko-chan wasn't trying to kill you, gaki. You of all ninja should have more faith in her." Even if he was trying to sound stern, Jiraiya still had a crooked grin on his face at the reminder of calm days after the end of the Second War. "She wasn't aiming for anything vital when holding weapons. So, dodge training. Not sure what she was doing with Kushina-chan, but it could've been awareness training. Keeping track of what's going on even if you're not looking, that kind of thing. Natsumi's been probably working on you for years, if she kept it up while I was traveling, ensuring you wouldn't be caught by surprise without an act of kami distracting you first."

Minato hunched down by the fire, arms crossed over his chest. "She could at least be considerate and be around when I realize she did these sort of things for me."

"Is that why she had such a problem with attempting murder every so often when she was my student?" Sakumo asked lightly as he returned from hunting and passed a brace of rabbits to the fūinjutsu user. "I thought it was a holdover from ANBU life that made her try to kill her friends."

"Naw, it was probably my fault." Placing the report on a nearby exposed tree root to let the ink dry, the Toad Sage turned to his companions with a dry smirk. "I noted she's got some good aim, even that far back, and let her start throwing things at my two other students to sharpen their awareness. She nailed them good a few times with what she had on hand until they wised up, too. The blades didn't come into play until later. I think that started when Inoichi decided it was okay to annoy the hell out of a kunoichi that wasn't altogether awake in the early morning, a few weeks before they went to Suna for the chūnin exams."

The silver haired shinobi turned to a lightly flushing Minato with surprise. "Your teammate wasn't suicidal, was he? I remember neko-chan in the mornings. Tiger tried once to mess with her sleep, and that was never attempted again after she finished ripping him to shreds in the subsequent spar. He needed two days with the medic's help to heal up and stop from seeing double."

All three men paused as another reason for the two days of doubled sight occurred to them. Natsumi's kinjutsu.

"Damn, sempai's vindictive."

Whistling lowly, Jiraiya turned to Sakumo and grinned at the deadpan expression on the other man's face. "And you didn't realize it at the time? I thought she tested it on you all."

"I shouldn't be surprised, should I?" The kenjutsu master rubbed his face, trying to keep himself from laughing. "I can't recall if that was before or after I figured out what she was doing."

"To be fair, that might have been before she figured out _she_ had to stop it." Minato offered mildly as he stuck the skinned rabbits on spits to cook.

Furrowing his brow, Sakumo thought on that suggestion only for a few moments before shrugging. "Saa, I can clearly recall the days before I pieced together her jutsu and what she was doing to us with it. All the incidents ended after a few moments or after whoever it was made a complete fool of themselves, so I think she always knew she had to be the one to stop it."

The Toad Sage snickered and rolled up the nearly forgotten report and stuck it into his travel pack. "Is there anything you would like me to take back to Konoha for you?"

Shinobi war deployments followed its own rhyme and reasoning, and the less rank you had the longer you could expect to be fighting before getting pulled back to the village. Jiraiya and Orochimaru were swapping; letting the Toad Sage collect more information from his spy network and the Snake Sannin continue the war effort his teammate had started. When the white haired sannin would be due back on the front it was likely the Slug Princess would go back to Konoha to check on the hospital and the patients there; before coming back out and taking up Orochimaru's spot in the war effort and the cycle would continue over again.

Minato and the jōnin that came out here with him had a few more months before they could realistically anticipate being pulled back, probably around the same time the chūnin and tokubetsu jōnin that were originally posted at the Fire/Grass Country border would be reassigned elsewhere. Sakumo would be leaving well before him, probably in exchange for another chunk of the jōnin the fūinjutsu user knew well. He was hoping for either Kushina, unlikely with what he knew of her S-ranked secret but he could hope, or his old sempai to join him.

"An actual letter to my wife and son would be appreciated, now give me a brush."

Minato sighed as the two older shinobi started to bicker about _fūinjutsu tools not being writing implements_ and _what did it matter if they both wrote_?

\V/

In Panther's personal opinion, the fact there wasn't a full cafeteria within ANBU headquarters was nothing less than a crime. The lack of an common eatery for ANBU agents was probably deliberate for security reasons; but it did force the shadow guard to either order fast, and therefore unhealthily greasy, food from the stalls above their heads or bring their own food from home if they worked in HQ longer than four or five hours.

Luckily she knew how to cook and brought her own damn food, but eating with a clay mask over her face and trying to read something was an exercise in futility. You could do one or the other with some skill, but not both with any degree of success. Instead of attempting that, she locked her tiny captain's room door and simply took it off so she could work and eat at the same time.

The perks of being an ANBU captain, your own tiny little bedroom in ANBU headquarters instead of just a bunk in the barracks two more levels below Panther's current position.

She was, yet again, looking over possible missions for Bear-sama; although these ones didn't deal with assassination like her usual suspects. The assassin was doing it as a personal favor for Hawk, the captain of a scouting team she had worked with during the Hokage's guard almost a full month ago. The man and his squad were on a mission to stake out the territory between Konoha and Kumo, part of the ANBU watch the Sandaime had set to catch anything Cloud attempted to throw to Iwa before it came as a nasty surprise to the Leaf ninja already out there.

The missions she was working on had to deal with possible ways to watch Kirigakure no Sato's actions; much harder since the Village Hidden in the Mist was on an island and therefore could use ships to strike at any part of the southern or southeastern parts of Fire Country they wanted the first few times before picking up and leaving in ways no Konoha-nin could catch them at. Hawk, as one of the ANBU scouts that had served the longest in the shadow guard, normally took over plotting missions for his section but used the ideas his other fellow scouting captains put forward.

What was now currently laid out across her desk was a suggestion to use the varied small islands around the Land of Water to try and watch for shinobi laden ships, something Panther wasn't sure of and doubtful would work. The next written suggestion was watch ships of Konoha's own, a suggestion that would probably do long term damage to what little shipping the Land of Fire had and probably not worth the paper it was written on. She had to admit neither would work well after some more thought, as Mist shinobi and shipmen would be less leery of losing sight of land or preemptively traveling outside the usual range of most sensor capable ninjas. Although Leaf shinobi were good, they probably wouldn't like being stranded on a moving wooden platform with no other land in sight.

A knock and a flair of chakra proceeded the unlocking of her door, but she knew who it was before the man even bothered to knock so she didn't trouble herself with putting her mask back on.

The lock really only bought her time to bother with it, locks did not have another function to it in ANBU headquarters. They were too easy to get around.

"Stir-fry, Bear-sama?" Natsumi offered to the ANBU General without looking, lifting the reusable bowl similar to the Tupperware containers of her last life so the man could see the food. Just less plastic and more stoneware in composition.

The head of Konoha's black ops division took the container from the assassin and she ignored the flair of green out of the corner of her eye.

It was a popular tactic to put a mild poison you were immune to into your food if you brought some into ANBU HQ, mostly to keep other agents from stealing what you had when they got hungry. The dingy communal kitchen ANBU had was actually stocked with more poisons than foodstuffs, hilariously enough. Checking for poison or using a minor iryou-jutsu to counter any was practically second nature to the older shinobi.

Also a rather mean method to get the younger agents to start checking their food on reflex.

This was where Natsumi's dislike for eating out often came from. If you cooked it yourself, you knew exactly what was in your food.

"I thought I gave that file to Hawk."

"You did, then sent him out after Crow's team came back injured from a brush with Kumo-nin. He asked me to take care of it."

"Hmph."

Natsumi rapidly scanned through three more possible plans while Bear wolfed down half her lunch, trying to decide between the plan for dockworker informants and the out of country espionage theory. "Hey, is Cat's or Fox's team in? Or hell, even Sparrow's?"

"Fox is back as of last week. Lost a squad mate though."

Damn. Fox's squad was one of the better spy teams in ANBU, and the kunoichi was probably not that much older than she was if not as experienced in ANBU life yet. It was even more likely spy was actually younger than her. "If I give her Bat for a mission, think she'd make a run through Water Country?"

Sometimes, after losing a member, the best thing to do was give the captain and surviving squad members something else to do or the loss might fester, and make the squad less likely to come back. This way, they had both a new goal to concentrate on and an innocent they wouldn't unjustifiably get killed trying to gain revenge. Panther might or might not be still annoyed with Bat, to force him on such a mission.

Bear took the fourth plan the assassin had been puzzling over, looking it over and handing back her lunch. "I'll bring it up. Not what I'm down here for, but thanks for the food."

"Oh?" Panther set the container down and picked up her mask. She could always eat later.

"I'm being pressured to take on tacticians." The scarred shinobi folded the espionage plan paper and tucked it away into his belt pouches, dark eyes fixed on the assassin's ghost colored ones framed by bone white clay. "I don't want to. We work just fine without being told what to do by idiots that never had to operate completely in the dark before or had never been forced to make up a plan on the spot fifty kilometers from home."

Frowning behind her mask, the ANBU captain motioned for the brusque man to continue. No one would ever accuse Bear of not mincing words, for sure.

"I want a smokescreen I can throw up, but that would require someone to take on superficial responsibilities so the Village Elders can't push ill-equipped ninja on us."

"You want me to take on your little distraction?" Panther cocked her head to the side, not entirely sure what this was entailing. "Why?"

"You're a Nara."

"I'm not a born Nara, I married into the clan."

"Doesn't matter. That clan has weight behind it in Tactical."

The assassin considered her commanding officer in the black ops division. "I'm not much of a tactician."

"But you can tell crap plans from good ones. And most our work is done on the fly, anyways." Bear tapped his finger over the harden leather pouch that held Fox's next possible mission. "Just look over the missions, scrap the bad ones, and go on your merry little way."

"And if I'm not in the village when the Village Elders want to meet me?"

The ANBU General thought about that. "I'll drag Wolf out of retirement and throw him at them."

Panther snorted. Sakumo would _kill_ her if she set the commander onto him again, for administration duties or not. "Sure, why not?"

Nodding sharply, the older shinobi got up from the corner of her little cot/bed. "Thanks, Panther. I'll go talk to Fox."

Picking up her abandoned lunch, Natsumi pulled her mask off again and continued to eat as she wondered exactly what she had agreed to do.

(ooo000ooo)

"I'm just saying it doesn't really make much sense to me." Asuma grumped, scowling in the pathetically cute way of all young children.

Koichi hesitated, not really all that enthused with the idea of getting between his brother's and his best friend's argument. Kakashi elected to stay neutral as well, more interested in how the other two were going to defend their points of view than piping up and probably turn the ire of the younger Sarutobi and last of the Senju on him.

Nawaki pulled a face at the slightly younger boy, highly offended with his dismissive attitude. "It makes perfect sense!"

The topic of dissention? The Will of Fire, the Senju philosophy that had been passed onto Konohagakure's people to uphold and honor from their first two Hokages.

Natsumi rubbed the side of her nose carefully, keeping half her attention on the disagreement going on at her kitchen table and half on the food she was cooking. She really should've guessed when Biwako sent all four of them to her after the academy let out with a coded note pleading for her to make the three day long argument stop.

Senju Nawaki was, at the core, as optimistic as Naruto would become. He actually believed the best in everyone he met, something the assassin was sure would cause whoever was his jōnin-sensei a migraine to dampen without breaking the poor kid's spirit. He was always cheerful, always the leader of their little group, bright and shining because a leader of ninja drew attention away from his subordinates so they could do what they needed to without being observed. He would make a terrific shinobi diplomat when he was older, able to command attention when he spoke and make others think his idea would benefit them the most… once learned to take another's views into account.

If Nawaki was the leader, Sarutobi Koichi was his right hand man. He was the type of person that knew a person that knew a person that could get you anything. The eldest of the Sarutobi brothers was always getting into something, which usually ended without him getting in over his head because the younger, and more level-headed, brother dragged him out of trouble by the skin of his teeth. Koichi also knew all the rules inside and out, able to find those little loopholes or some slack in whatever they had been told so what they ended up doing wasn't exactly against orders. In another life, he would've made either one hell of a lawyer or a thief.

As it was, the two of them would probably be paired together if they survived and would possibly be a part of the Diplomacy subdivision of Intelligence once they made jōnin.

Sarutobi Asuma was slightly pessimistic. It wasn't so bad that the kid was nearly always gloomy, but he was a bit more realistic than any of the other high profile children that he spent nearly all his time with. It's what let him be so unruffled when other children tried to pick on or tease him, Asuma just didn't see the point in trying to argue or force the other kids to make them stop. It wouldn't matter for very long, in his point of view. He kept the little group grounded, made sure they weren't trying to reach beyond what they could possibly take on themselves. Natsumi could already see the beginnings of the jōnin-sensei her probable son held so dear, calm in the face of trouble and a steading presence to any fellow shinobi he was working with.

Hatake Kakashi was anything the group needed. With his clever and quick little mind he could learn things in a night that would take other shinobi trainees a week to get the hang of, or figure out fast who had the knowledge they needed for whatever little project they were on. Kakashi was the one that ended up doing the more risky things, even if he was only a little over the age of six he had gotten far more shinobi training than any of the others so far. He did have a slightly sadistic sense of humor even now, probably developed earlier than he would've had it from having Natsumi as a sister figure. She might be working on the possibility that he'd never get the sharingan eye from Uchiha Obito, but with his mentality and skills Kakashi would make a superb ninjutsu specialist even without it. Possibly even another assassin, but she was planning on putting her foot down about it until the brat was at least sixteen before allowing him to join ANBU.

Natsumi chose to remain silent and listen to the kids reenact the same argument that sent them to her door, plating up some pot stickers she was rather fond of and setting the slightly crispy dumplings on the table so the kids could eat something while they talked. Shikaku was just as content to listen in, and steal some of his wife's cooking while he was at it.

"Alright, quiet down." The assassin gently bopped Nawaki on the head before he could try to get the last word in. "Quiet, I said."

Kakashi was quick to stuff a gyōza in his mouth before he could laugh at the Senju's predicament and conceivably get hit himself. Burning his tongue on it was probably punishment enough.

"Now," the reincarnated former soldier looked at each child in turn, judging how upset each of them was and where she should start, "Asuma-kun. You're right in that you really don't need to understand the focus sharpening part of the technique to be shinobi. Just accept it's the mentality that most Leaf ninja hold dear and you'll be hearing a lot about it over the years."

Natsumi slapped a hand over Nawaki's mouth before the kid could argue, giving him a brief glare to get him to stop squirming.

"But Nawaki-kun was also right in that it's simple, just that the academy-sensei were overcomplicating it for you. You two shouldn't have gotten into a fight about it without seeking more information than you had."

The tense line in Asuma's shoulders relaxed, now that someone was bothering to listen to his point of view and not just lecture him. Nawaki also stopped and sat still, trusting the older kunoichi to clear up the argument when he couldn't get the younger Sarutobi to understand.

"What you need to take away from this is that another's beliefs isn't necessary wrong just because _you_ can't see it." The assassin was picking her words carefully, sure that the kids and her own husband were not the only ones listening to her. There were three ANBU agents in the house, she could feel them. The Hokage still had that creepy crystal ball of his, she wasn't sure if her seals would do anything to block that. "Belief is one of the major differences between shinobi and our civilians, because we are never told it might be impossible to affect fire, or any of the other elements, by will alone. We see it every day, when your parents or guards fetch whatever toy went airborne and got stuck in a tree or when we light candles or fireplaces by snapping our fingers. Civilians also don't believe that it's possible to walk up the side of a building, but we do that anyways, right?"

Natsumi didn't have nearly so many problems with her own beliefs anymore, but that was after over ten years of getting used to the idea of chakra and what it could do. She rather liked playing with water when she had the time.

"So personal belief is important, _right?_ "

She waited until she got four nods before continuing; two automatic, one with slight confusion, and the last grudgingly.

"The Will of Fire states that every true Konoha shinobi must love, believe, cherish, and fight for the village's sake, as previous generations have done before us. I don't believe in it." The assassin quirked a wry smirk at the protests that arose automatically. "Enough. I don't, simple as that. Just like Asuma-kun, I see something wrong with blind faith. I _love_ my village. I _cherish_ my comrades. I _believe_ in my Hokage. I trust in my commanding officers, but I _don't_ hold faith that they are always right. I'm trained to question, and I do that because my comrades trust me to ensure they _are_ right. If I bring up something, they listen to me because I don't normally protest orders unless I know something that would probably change their opinion of a situation. Therefore, I don't always fight for the village's sake. I _think_ for my village's sake. So, knowing that, am I a true Konoha shinobi even if I can't use the Will of Fire to focus myself on a task or objective?"

 _That_ threw the youngest Senju for a loop, and he gawked at the assassin.

Shikaku may or may not have snorted softly at the face the kid made, Natsumi wasn't telling them if she heard it.

"You're a kunoichi, Natsu-nee." Kakashi broke the silence bluntly, smirking a little like the brat he was. "So no, you're not a shinobi."

She pinched the bridge of her nose, fighting down a surge of amused irritation when her husband started laughing. "I swear to hell, Kashi-chan, you have no tact."

Asuma looked thoughtful, though, while the silver haired son of her old ANBU captain loudly protested the use of his baby nickname over the Nara clan head's mirth.

Koichi nudged Nawaki's jaw closed with his fingers. "Otou-sama probably knows her view of it, Nawaki-kun, and still has her as a ninja. A trusted one, too, if she's jōnin."

"But-"

"You were raised to believe in it," Natsumi cut in before the kid could stick his foot in his mouth, "so you do. You can believe in it so you can use it to focus without much effort. It is part of your very clan, so Tsunade-sama taught you what Konoha's founders believed in. Most of Konohagakure believes in it because two heads of your clan founded the Leaf and passed it on to them. Kakashi-kun here was raised to take everything into account _then_ make a judgment on what he believes in, and Koichi-kun was raised to do the same thing. They'll be able to use it before long. Asuma-kun was raised to make his own opinions and inform his brother, letting the two of them see more than two or three sides to an argument. He'll take a little longer in the end, but he might understand eventually. They'll get to the point of making their own opinions on it and believing what they will, but you can't expect them to get all the information in a few days if you keep bringing it up. It might take _years_ for them to understand it the same way you do instinctively."

"Oh." The golden eyed boy blinked a few times, then using the charisma based intuition she was sure would make him the darling of the Diplomat Corps, turned to the younger Sarutobi brother with a grimace. "I'm sorry, Asuma-kun. I shouldn't have argued with you about it."

"Maa, I probably didn't help with the way I was asking. So don't worry about it." Asuma shrugged, snagging the last of the fried dumplings off the plate. "Thanks, Natsu-nee-chan."

The older kunoichi waved a hand at the four of them. "Be gone, little demons. _Talk_ to the ninja you know, see what they think about it, and _then_ argue. You'll save many headaches from occurring."

She got another three echoes of Asuma's thanks and endearment from the other kids as they left the Nara clan head's house to run back to the Sarutobi compound. Natsumi stayed in her seat because Shikaku had very warm, very large hands and was rubbing her lower back, which always got tense when she was cooking.

She could even ignore that he was still snickering at her, so long as he kept it up.

"So, should we go out to eat again?"

Natsumi sighed, slumping over the table. "I suppose so. I used up the pork I was going to cook for dinner making enough pot stickers for four young boys."

"We do have a standing invitation to the Akimichi clan's new barbeque place." Shikaku reminded her, still amused from the earlier conversation. "We can go find Chouza and Momo-san and make it a double date."

"Barbeque sounds nice, actually." The assassin straightened up slightly, peering over at her husband with a little confusion. "Momo-san would be the waitress Chouza met when we were out for breakfast earlier this year?"

"Yeah."

"Civilian?"

"Yep."

"Awkward."

"Only the first few times."

\V/

Jiraiya came home not too long after that, had the time to catch up with the two of his old students he hadn't been fighting a war with before Natsumi got orders to head out to Kusa.

She was very pleased to be getting sent off with Shikaku, since Chouza was coming with them and Inoichi was getting buried deeper in T&I. They would be accompanying Orochimaru and a mixed group of chūnin and other jōnin until they reached the fall back point Tsunade was manning near the middle of the Land of Grass, then groups would be splitting off. Orochimaru to the front to relieve Sakumo in blazing the trail forward to Iwagakure, Chouza and most the other shinobi with the main force to send some of the longer deployed shinobi home, Shikaku to assist Tactical's immediate response time, and Natsumi to take command of the ANBU shadowing everyone's steps.

Panther could almost hear Bear in her head. 'Sorry, stuffy council elders. But our tactical personnel are currently in the middle of the war, they don't have the time to meet with you. Try again later.'

The ANBU General had a very interesting sense of humor. Oddly, Shikaku gave her a strange look for that comment when she said it out loud.

Nara Shikai agreed to come out of retirement to handle any Nara clan problems; rejoining his contemporary clan elders Aburame Shinji, Akimichi Chou, and sometimes Uchiha Kagami, when Mikoto needed to do something else, on the clan council with a moody Inuzuka Tsume, a harassed Yamanaka Inoichi, and an utterly bemused Hyūga Hiashi.

Kushina wailed that Natsumi was abandoning her to the whims of two pregnant kunoichi, but swore if the assassin didn't kick some major ass she would go out to Kusa to kick _her_ ass. The reincarnated former soldier then bought her some ramen and everything was forgiven by the jinchūriki.

Mikoto almost panicked over her orders, but Natsumi agreed to give her dango recipe to Momo so the Uchiha matron wasn't without it. She did cackle a bit over Itachi's sweet tooth affecting his pregnant mother's diet once alone.

Tsume snarled a bit, and threw the chew toy the assassin brought her at the younger looking kunoichi's head. Kuromaru thanked her for it later, before she got out of the Inuzuka compound.

Natsumi did sit all four academy students down and gave them a lecture on what they should be doing and what they could expect with the major threat to the academy-sensei gone. That they should be thinking of the teammates they wanted for their own genin teams, because it wasn't likely that they would be all be put together on a team. That Kakashi would probably be stuck on his own or with a team for two or three years until he was old enough for puberty, Asuma wouldn't be graduating with the older two, and that it was likely the heirs of the Sarutobi and Senju clans would be broken up for genin teams. Just in case.

Then she directed every problem they couldn't deal with was to be laid at the alpha of the Inuzuka's feet for her to deal with.

No one ever said Natsumi was a _nice_ assassin, after all.

\V/

" _Minato!_ " Natsumi slammed head on into her favorite blond, delighted that she wouldn't have to wait longer to see him. Then she immediately drew back from the hug and poked him in the stomach. "You're getting too thin."

The fūinjutsu user just sighed, nodding to Shikaku and Chouza who chose not to barrel into him. "Hello to you too, sempai."

Orochimaru gave the lingering group a short nod but proceeded pass them, heading to where he could see his teammate's blonde head and Sakumo's silver hair flickering in the firelight. Probably to give the Hatake jōnin the news that he could go home now.

Noticing that, the assassin pouted but released her almost brother. "I should probably get to work too. I'll see you later?"

Minato nodded, rubbing absently at where she had prodded him. "Sure, we're still trying to decide how to root out the Iwa-nin entrenched in the pass ahead, so I'll probably be in camp for a few more days yet."

The northern part of Kusa was the base of a mountain range, so the fighting had bottlenecked into rocky passages between the mountainous regions Earth's borderlands were known for. They were already being pelted with tiny rocks borne by the winds whistling through the peaks around them, not quite pebbles but not as fine as sand.

This was both a good and a bad thing.

Good, in that less of Grass would be home to battlegrounds. Any Leaf-nin _knew_ about soil erosion due to deforesting and how delicate some ecosystems were, they had once had a Hokage that could grow entire forests at will, after all. They also had an entire clan that used kikachu beetles to augment their own skills, and who were keen on anything agriculturally inclined that might possibly involve insects. The care every Konoha shinobi put into not damaging crops or grasslands was probably the only reason why Kusagakure was content to ignore the outright war being fought due north of their Hidden Village.

Bad, in that Iwa was basically picking and choosing the ground for any further conflicts. Konoha's forces could try to go more north or west, but the arrangement they had with Kusa's Daimyo might not be as palatable to Takigakure or Hanzō the Salamander. They could chose to circle all the way back and then through Wind or Stone, but that would take even longer than forcing the Rock-nin out of their little cubby hole.

Natsumi nodded back, kissed her husband, and slapped the Akimichi's shoulder before darting off. She had scouts to talk to.

Minato continued to rub at his stomach. "Is it just me, or was I practically ignored for a moment?"

Shikaku snickered at him. "Welcome to the level we other mortals hold in Natsu's eyes. You're no longer the end all responsibility she's keeping an eye on."

"Really." The blond deadpanned, eyeing the shadow master he called friend with amusement. "Are you calling me a child?"

"Compared to Natsumi, we all were. Still are." Chouza corrected himself after a moment, checking his supply of jerky to ensure it wouldn't need topping off.

"I like to think she's really mature." Shikaku interjected louder than strictly necessary, before the fūinjutsu user could comment on that and say something that really shouldn't be discussed in public. "And we should probably get set up, Chouza. Nice to see you again, Minato."

The named shinobi simply saluted with two fingers as the two of them walked on.

\V/

The first sign of trouble came from the east.

After the fall back camp the medics were maintaining caught up with their front lines engaging Iwa's front lines in the rocky terrain at the foot of the mountains circling the Land of Earth, Konoha had been forced to a standstill. Two months of nothing but bloody back and forth fighting between Rock ninja in their element and Leaf ninja proving that while it might not be tree tops, they were still a force to be reckoned with.

Senju Tsunade proved her weight in gold, keeping the casualties well below where most of the shinobi from Fire Country had expected them to be. The blonde sannin confessed to her teammate and Jiraiya's little circle of students and their friends that it really was only a matter of luck that kept the Konoha medics from trying to overreach themselves. Contact with Iwa was restricted to only three separate locations the Konoha-nin were being cycled through, two passes that Leaf tacticians wanted to block up to reduce the scope they were fighting on and the main one that was at once too wide to block off with a rock slide and too heavily traveled to not secure if they wanted to invade Earth. Which let the medics know where the injured were coming from and what scope they had to be able to heal, something that wouldn't nearly be possible if Iwa and Konoha were fighting across the grasslands to the south.

Panther swore a blue streak in the air when she got a hawk messenger two months into her deployment to manage the medics' camp ANBU guards, internally promising a painful death to Hawk if the man was still alive as she bolted to the tent where her husband was set up for the next week or so.

If Shikaku was surprised to see her kilted out in ANBU armor and standing in plain view, he didn't comment on it. He had a great sense of tact.

"Kumo-nin have been spotted edging around the valleys in Waterfall, probably having skirted the northern part of Konoha's territory through the mountains since they left Lightning."

The Nara clan head frowned, ignoring the outbreak of excited chatter from his fellow Tactical Division members. "How long until they get here?"

"A day, maybe two. Depending on if they noted they were spotted and if they'll do away with being stealthy."

"How many?"

"One confirmed team of seven, unknown ranks."

Which didn't mean much, Kumogakure no Sato could have other teams waiting to see what happened to the lure team if they were being obvious about trying to hide; or they really could be that thick to think they wouldn't be caught; or they wanted a confrontation; or they really were on their way to Earth and just so happened to avoid Fire Country entirely.

Sometimes, dealing with enemy shinobi gave Natsumi a headache.

Shikaku nodded thoughtfully, then turned to bark out an order to fetch Tsunade-sama.

The Slug Princess didn't show any of her thought process as she listened to the bare bones of the report, and what the shadow master wanted to do about it. She just removed her slightly blood streaked white medic's apron and handed it off to the lowest ranking ninja in the tent, shifting mindsets from Head Medic to Base Commander. "I would rather be out there with any team confronting Cloud, but I can see why you want me to remain."

"We do need someone to remain incase it's a ruse, Tsunade-sama." The Nara told her frankly. "We might be leaving with an overpowered team, but better safe than dead."

The Senju kunoichi grinned tightly. "True. I'll have the sentries tighten up while you're gone."

Shikaku nodded at the expected news. "Panther-taicho, how many ANBU can we steal from you?"

The assassin ran her mind through the list of ninja she had available. "Now? A squad."

It wouldn't even be an actual squad, just one made up of non-injured ANBU agents that hadn't gotten afoul of Iwa the last time Rock tried to break out of their pass. Which included her, something she really didn't want to do given she was the one in charge of the medic's outpost's shadow guard and partly responsible for the safety of every shinobi inside of it. However, there were only two heavy combat ANBU agents available right now and she was one of them.

Something about her reluctance communicated itself to her husband despite the monotone voice she was using, because the man grimaced. "I need your stealth, so do what you have to and meet up with us at the Taki/Kusa border."

(ooo000ooo)

Panther, Rat, Falcon, Stag, and Asp met up with the rest of the Konoha-nin intending to do something about the Kumo ninja trying to sneak up behind them before midday.

Shikaku ran his eye over the ANBU agents, noting the cracks in their armor and the few bloodstains they had yet to get rid of. No wonder Panther hadn't been enthused with joining the routing party. ANBU was normally obsessive over their armor, ensuring any enemy they ran into saw only gleaming white over dull black when engaging Konoha's ANBU. It was both a scare tactic and a point of pride for them. "Right. I need you all to ensure it's only the one team before we get into a fight."

Natsumi simply saluted with two fingers to her masked temple, much like the man she considered her brother had done before her, before shunshining away with the rest of her ANBU squad.

"Are you sure we need them, Nara-sama?" One of the kunoichi, of the few trap specialist left in the medic's fall back base, commented dismissively. "They look kinda beat up to me."

Shikaku took a deep, steadying breath; ignoring the twit as Minato glared her down. He really didn't need this kind of trouble, given he _had_ just sent his wife out on something she didn't want to do with subordinates in less than perfect health. That she did it anyways without comment made him wonder if she did have that kind of faith in him or if he'll be hearing about it later.

"They have been working on stealth in this kind of terrain longer than we've bothered with. Yes, we need them." The Nara took a moment to add the weight of his glare to the blond fūinjutsu user's, then nodded to the two taijutsu specialist he managed to spring from the medics' grasp. "Remember, nice and slow."

The male half of the pair nodded, Mebuki gave both him and Minato a searching look for their defensiveness on behalf of the ANBU accompanying them before following along.

Shikaku himself took up the middle of the formation, giving his kage-jutsu the range to cover the whole team. Leaving the fūinjutsu user, who had the greatest range to his chakra sense, behind with the annoying trap specialist kunoichi to guard their rear.

His plan was simple on the surface. The lesser numbers in his team would hopefully entice the confirmed Kumo team into fixating on them, their ANBU escort would fill the numbers in after the initial engagement if they couldn't find any backup teams. Minato and Natsumi both had Summons Contracts, if there was more trouble than either team could deal with Shikaku was confident one or the other would be able to send a message to that effect.

He kept that firmly in mind all the way up to encountering the Kumo-nin team.

In a detached moment, once the two teams encountered each other, he noted the surprise on their faces matched the expression on the face of the male tai user on his own team.

"Yes?" Minato asked of the Cloud shinobi bluntly, making Shikaku think he really had spent too much time with his sister figure or she had spent way too much time with him. "Can we help you?"

The sense of wrongness in the Nara's mind snapped to the fore as the fūinjutsu user's head snapped to the side, probably where he felt Panther's chakra flaring up. "Take them down!"

As if to punctuate his order his shadow snapped out in seven different strands, snagging each of the seven probably less than chūnin ranked distractions.

Mebuki reacted a moment faster than her partner, using the taijutsu Natsumi had taught her to efficiently takedown opponent so they wouldn't be getting back up in a hurry. The trap specialist hurried along to tie them up and free the Nara's shadow from holding the Kumo shinobi down, but Minato had already bolted to where the actual fighting was heating up to the south of where they were.

The chūnin taijutsu user followed the moment she wasn't needed to subdue any of the Cloud-nin, and Shikaku ordered the remaining two to guard the prisoners before making his own way to where even a shinobi with the numbest chakra sense could feel where the fight was.

He got there in time to use his kage nui no jutsu again to save Falcon the troublesome event of a tantō through the head, and helped the black ops scout specialist slit the throat of the Kumo-nin before looking around for another target.

Mebuki had teamed up with a Stag and was fending off another kunoichi armed with what seemed to be bladed fans with her hands alone, finally getting in one good kick that broke the other woman's arm before the bodyguard rammed a kunai home in the Cloud kunoichi's chest. Rat seemed to be slinking off with what seemed to be a broken leg hindering him, over to where Asp was laying almost too still to appear alive among the bodies of two more non-Konoha ninjas.

Minato and Panther were facing off with a large Kumo shinobi that seemed to be using more than his fair share of blades against his wife's one katana.

The ANBU captain would fight back until she made the larger, dark skinned Cloud ninja focus on her, then dart away as the blond used whatever opening available to throw fūton sharpened weapons at him and come back swinging before the enemy ninja could target the fūinjutsu user. The most perplexing thing about the mini fight of epic proportions going on was that any injuries the bigger shinobi got was steaming in the midafternoon light, and _slowly closing over_ as Shikaku watched; but Minato didn't appear too surprised at it and the assassin never paused in her cyclic fighting rhythm.

Once it became apparent between the three of them that there wasn't any more fighting going on behind them, the two sides broke apart to see what was going on.

The larger man harrumphed, seeing that the ninja he had been with were already incapacitated. "I told brother this'd do no good, should've just gotten him some food."

Panther seemed to wilt in place, her comment almost inaudible to the Nara standing a ways behind her. "Oh _kami_. It's him again…"

Minato blinked twice, then inclined his head to the other shinobi in greeting. "B-san. Always a pleasure. Does that mean A-sama is now the Raikage?"

"Yo! Bro's the boss, kept us from loss." The dark skinned swordsman nodded his head to some invisible beat, even if the rest of him was held unnaturally still for a moment before following along with his head. "But our Third's still alive, just bidding his time. He'd kick your ass if it was him in this pass."

Shikaku blinked himself as his wife returned her katana back to her sheath after the other man did the same to his seven swords. Apparently, the three of them knew each other.

"We technically didn't lose the last time either, if you'd recall." Panther spoke up, shifting just enough to shield Rat from view as the spy snagged Asp's body and started the painful process of dragging them both from sight. "I do believe it was an amicable decision to leave the fighting to later."

'B' folded his arms across his burly chest, as if weighing that comment in his bobbing head. "Might be true, but _hey_ I know you. Natsumi-chan! My biggest fan!"

"Kami _damn_ it, Minato!" The assassin ripped off her mask and threw it at her almost brother's head. "Now I need a new mask! I liked my mask, _thanks_."

He caught the black streaked clay mask sheepishly, a faint blush rising on his face. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't realize Kumo was getting into the bounty Iwa set on you."

"Didn't argue about being a fan, must really like me as a man." B mused to himself, causing whatever Natsumi was about to say next to get stuck in her throat with a squeak and Shikaku's eye to twitch. "Not that bad with a sword, wonder if she's as good as her word."

"I'm happily married!"

"We could elope, not give the hubby a stroke."

Natsumi was bright red by this point. " _He's right here!_ "

"Oh… damn. Sup my man?"

Shikaku felt a bit numb as the man that had just suggested his wife run off with him beamed at him and just nodded back at the possibly crazy Cloud shinobi.

"Hate to run cause it's been fun, but we're out of time, though seeing you has been fine." B saluted the rest of them, possibly _winked in Natsumi's direction_ , then…

The shadow master jerked backwards unconsciously as _tentacles_ sprouted from the Kumo ninja and snagged the insensible or dead fellow shinobi he had been traveling with before running off.

There was a moment of stunned silence as the rapping _whatever_ _that was_ left the rocky clearing and everyone remaining absorbed that encounter.

Natsumi pinched the bridge of her nose, Minato coughed in the quiet, and Shikaku turned to his wife. "Did he just hit on you?"

"Oddly enough, I asked that of myself the first time we met."

"I've run into B-san once more since then. He's been asking about you." The blond fūinjutsu user offered sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "I… aa, wasn't going to tell you for obvious reasons. Sorry."

"The apparent delusion that I liked his rhyming?"

"He might have taken your comments that way, yes."

"I thought I just gave him a few death threats."

Minato shrugged, still looking highly embarrassed. "Well, yeah. You did. I don't think he's all that right in the head, to be honest."

"Um… isn't B-san a decade or so older than Natsumi-sama?" Mebuki offered timidly, still rather thrown by what she had just witnessed.

Shikaku's eye twitched again.

"Not helping, Mebuki."

(ooo000ooo)

B had apparently grabbed the Cloud distraction team, effortlessly sweeping aside the trap specialist and the taijutsu user that had been guarding them at the same time.

Natsumi, using the Panther mask she was so familiar with to for what would probably be the last time, took Asp's body and Stag took Rat back to the medics' fall back base for healing then, leaving Falcon in charge until Horse was finished healing, headed for the tent she and her husband had the use of.

She didn't have much time to mourn her subordinate, and her long-time mask, before Shikaku finished with his duties and wanted to know exactly what contact she had with the Kumo-nin they had just encountered.

She told him, there wasn't much of a point not to.

"The jinchūriki of the eight-tails?"

"Yeah… and you know how the hime is a bit quirky? Recall how her hair splits in nine parts when she's pissed? I think something about B is off, too." Natsumi had convinced him to lay down after a while, and was now laying on top of him on the double wide cot married couples had in the base, chin propped up on her own forearm. "Cause I'm sure whatever brain damage Minato is convinced A causes B can't account for all that."

Shikaku arched an eyebrow, eyes closed. He was _tired_ after all that. "Like hitting on married women who aren't interested?"

The assassin thought for a long moment, puzzling over something that had tickled her as strange. "I think it was really a distraction so he could amass whatever he needed to pull the tentacles out. Minato's protective of me, for some reason, and I really didn't react well when I thought he was hitting on me when we first met. B could've been just using that to draw our attention to his rapping, not on what he was doing."

The Nara's eyes popped open, then he snorted. "We fell for it because we were so shocked he was propositioning you in front of all of us, and I was worried about you so I didn't think about that. Damn he's good."

"We might have been a bit dinged up, but we were fine." She told him, pouting. "And he is good. B had me on the defensive the whole time, Minato and I could barely keep him from slicing something we wanted to keep off."

Shikaku thought about it for a long moment, then grinned down at her. "Flirt back the next time you see him, then tell me what his face was like."

Natsumi rolled her eyes at him. "Real mature, Shika."

\V/

B's visit was the high point of Natsumi's time on the Kusa front.

Although the story circled around camp, and probably made its way back to Konoha, the assassin didn't care all that much because it _was_ funny in hindsight and probably good for morale.

ANBU defeated three separate ambush attempts from Rock ninja that seemed to escape the frontlines; but Natsumi, still wearing her old mask until she could get a new one, and Shikaku eventually figured out they were really using a cave system loaded with too many traps for them to navigate safely and closed it up using her expertise in explosive seals.

Iwa skidded back to an even more formidable pass than the first set of them the Leaf ninja forced them too, but remained bottled up there and didn't look to be moving when Tsunade and Minato left the front for some time in Konoha.

Jiraiya came back to the front and harassed the hell out of his old kunoichi student with the odd circumstances for having an outer village love interest, but hurriedly took back his words when both the Nara clan head and Sakumo, who accompanied him back to the front, proved to be not all that amused by his teasing.

They also brought with them the news that Kumo was testing the northern parts of the Land of Fire in earnest now, trying to see if there was any realistic way they could go to Iwa's aid. Kiri had apparently been content to sit and watch what was going on, and Suna was getting beat back at their own borders with Earth.

By the time the Konoha force were irritated with the slow progress enough to use Panther's explosive tags to rain explosive metal down on the Iwa front lines Tsunade came back, Minato and Inoichi in tow, to relieve Orochimaru and delivered the news that Suna succeeded in forcing a way into Earth. The fact that it was thanks to Sunagakure's Puppet Brigade they were making headway made the Leaf ninja stop using exploding fūinjutsu on the Rock shinobi entrenched in their way.

Before Shikaku, Chouza, and Natsumi were due to leave the front behind at mid fall, the assassin came face to face with one _Akasuna no Sasori_ in a way neither of them were ever going to forget.

(ooo000ooo)

The red headed kid was young. Like maybe old enough to be considered a young teenager, or thereabouts… and… he looked stoned.

Natsumi didn't want to be rude… but… _stoned_.

Under her mask, she bit her lip to keep from snorting. It probably wouldn't do to snicker at the face of Suna's Honored Siblings' grandchild… probably really bad for relations between their two villages.

Stoned or not, the young redheaded shinobi had some unreal skill with the puppets he was controlling with barely a wasted twitch. His wooden constructs would dart into a crack or crevasse in the pass and Iwa-nin would try to fend the weapons sprouting from some of the seemingly harmless looking mannequins only to get taken out by Panther's ANBU squads. The assassin herself had started on the battlefield when Konoha's sensors reported some kind of conflict happening at the far end, waiting with the ANBU that had been cycled out to the front from the varied bases covering Kusa's part of the Earth border.

It was really little more than mindless and bloody killing repeated continually, following the puppets Suna's Puppet Brigade were controlling and slaying anything not wooden that twitched. After the five hours it took for the combined Konoha and Suna forces to clear out those that didn't surrender when the Iwa front was assaulted from behind, Panther was practically dragging her feet in exhaustion.

Jiraiya and Tsunade were on the field by that time, helping the last push from Konoha with Suna's assistance route out Iwa's hold on the pass. Sakumo was fighting shoulder to shoulder with Minato, the Ino-Shika-Cho team taking prisoners from the battlefield to ensure they didn't try anything once the fighting stopped.

Even with Inoichi, Shikaku, and Chouza's efforts, there were a few sputtering stops to the fighting when some cleverly hidden Rock shinobi tried on last ditch effort to ambush the key fighters trying to get enough space to talk to one another.

Until Natsumi had enough.

A silent signal to her thirteen ANBU agents caused them to back off, slapping one of her premade tags on themselves and offering the same to every Konoha or Suna shinobi in the pass. The assassin counted to five silently to give them time, then reached for that part of herself that never failed to remind her that she wasn't a normal kunoichi and she _pulled then twisted until up was down_.

Her kinjutsu, developed for disrupting the reality of what her assassination targets saw in their last moments, only had one wide area of effect feature she developed with Fugaku's immense help. Instead of controlling the perception of what a singular target perceived as reality this version just disrupted the senses into a jumbled, hopeless snarl of sensation until those without the safety seal, that held a slight bit of her spiritual excess attached to their skin and fooled the jutsu in thinking it had already affected them, couldn't tell reality from fantasy.

It was also horribly draining and disorientating to her, staggering the reincarnated former soldier and forcing her to her knees as the seconds ticked on by because she couldn't use the seal developed to prevent scrambling her reality and use the kinjutsu like this at the same time.

The Toad Sage's heavy hand setting on the top of her head made Natsumi drop the newest feature of her déjà vu no jutsu, snapping reality back in place for those that didn't accept a sealing script for whatever reason. "You really are a scary little kitten, neko-chan."

A fair bit of the Sand shinobi in the pass had refused to attach an unknown seal to themselves, and from the look of it they were regretting the refusal as they shakily got back to their feet.

Suna's Honored Grandmother Chiyo had accepted two when she saw Senju Tsunade slap one on herself at the prompting of Jiraiya, attaching her tag to her hand and one to her grandson's forehead just in time. Sasori looked around from under the tag on his head, peering around at the shaken ninja the jutsu had affected. "Okaa-san?"

The brunette kunoichi he was talking too gave the young man an unsteady smile. "I'm fine, Sasori-kun. It didn't hurt, but I really should've listened like your Chiyo-baa-sama did."

"We probably should've warned you, but there wasn't time." Sakumo told the Suna-nin apologetically as he took off the sealing script and gave it back to the nearest ANBU agent. "We've been the target of that jutsu a time or two ourselves, so the effects are really only temporary until your sense of balance come back."

The short old woman that was one of Suna's best puppet masters and still led the Puppet Brigade took off her own tag and peered at it before cackling with laughter. "Yes you should've, children, both of you. Don't bother," she snarked to her own ninja, "the seal is useless after a while. Taking an example would do nothing but give us another version of the chakra storage seal."

Natsumi was, at this point, terribly confused and more than a little tired.

"You can keep them for now, Chiyo-sama. I'm not due to leave for another few weeks, and the seals should hold out until then." The assassin peeled the soon-to-be-someone-else's mask off and handed the black streaked clay to a curious Sasori. "Keep it, I need a new one anyways."

The young teenager smiled at her, gripping the mask and giving the seated assassin a short bow. "I'll make a new puppet for it. Thank you."

Bemused, Natsumi watched him wander back to his mother's side.

"I thought Konoha's ANBU wasn't supposed to remove their masks?" Chiyo peered at the seated kunoichi suspiciously, tucking the sealing tag away in her weapons pouch anyways.

"I need a new one." Repeated the assassin blandly, ignoring the trembling in her limbs that made it impossible to get up. "By the time you see me next, I'll have another and good luck figuring out which one I'm behind."

Tsunade spotted the tremble even from across the battlefield, scowling at the beginning signs of chakra exhaustion. "Shikaku, take your wife back to base. Who's in charge when Natsumi isn't?"

"Falcon or Horse." The kunoichi in question flicked into view right behind her exhausted ANBU captain. "Horse it is."

(ooo000ooo)

With the final pass into the Land of Earth cleared out, attention shifted from fighting to digging in. Winter was coming, and neither the forest raised Konoha ninja nor the desert dwelling Suna shinobi wanted to try fighting Iwa in their home territory when the mountains were expecting massive amounts of snowfall.

That was, massive compared to the eternally dry Wind Country or the mild sleet rain the Land of Fire sometimes experienced.

The wait was viewed as an excellent time to adjust to winter in Earth Country in a defensible position, so either set of shinobi weren't too surprised by any following winter fighting Iwa. Their respective kages sent news back that they approved, so both Konoha and Suna started digging in for winter.

Natsumi was either asleep or 'recovering' for most of the discussion between the commanders of Sand's forces and the commanders of Konoha's forces that decided the uses the two passes they held into Earth would be used for during the time they were going to possibly be snowed in for. She did have the whole medics' fall back point to wander around while she was restricted from anything to do with the war, and since the medics' base had inched up until it occupied the southern end of the pass into Earth she met a lot of Wind Country ninja.

Including Akasuna no Sasori.

As a matter of fact, the young man had sought her out himself and started asking about her own skills, intending on creating a kunoichi puppet like her.

"Suiton chakra nature, actually." Natsumi quirked a smile for the teen as she lounged in the partial mess hall set up now that Konoha was wintering in a stable location. "I do a fair bit with a katana, too. Why?"

Sasori fidgeted with the puppet hand he was working on to pass the time. "I was wondering if you would take on a student."

"Oh?"

"I have a… friend." He started slowly, his voice as soft as the hiss the assassin's katana made when drawn from its' sheath. "Who has some trouble in Suna because water is such a scare commodity he won't be able to learn very many water jutsus, restricting his chakra growth until he's old enough to try mastering another element."

"I know about the water thing. I did my chūnin exam in your village." The ghost eyed kunoichi dryly informed the younger shinobi, thinking back to that fight between herself and Minato. It when he started getting better than her, in recognizable increments, and she recalled the fight with fondness every time she could.

Sasori nodded, a little embarrassed because he knew that already. It was part of the reason he was using the ANBU mask the kunoichi gave him as an excuse to talk to her. "But you used a suiton based jutsu anyways, in the fight. Komushi has no one that knows how to do that, or how you did it."

Natsumi's eyebrow arched, surprised. "You saw my bout with Minato?"

He was what… fifteen or almost sixteen now? He should've been between six and eight years old when she went to Suna with Jiraiya and the rest of her genin team. For that matter, why wasn't he a murderous little psychopath intent on turning people into puppets?

"We have a recording of your fight with Namikaze-san, and it's still shown to younger genin so they don't assume terrain has all the say in what kind of jutsu an opponent might use."

Oh… well… that was embarrassing. Natsumi rubbed the side of her nose carefully, so her claws didn't rip skin, trying to ignore the faint flush going up her face. "Ah… well. I don't think your Kazekage is going to let one of his shinobi wander off just to learn suiton jutsus from me."

Sasori, usually stoned looking or not, had a pair of very devastating puppy eyes.

The ANBU captain sighed heavily. She was such a sucker for kids, almost grown or not. "Look. Suiton chakra nature aside, if you can convince both the Hokage and the Kazekage that it's a good idea I'll teach your friend some fūinjutsu as well."

The redhead blinked slowly at her.

"I might not be one of Konoha's masters of sealing yet, but I know enough to teach your Komushi-kun the basics. Enough to probably let him find a branch of the art he's good at and wants to specialize in. And we do probably have the largest fūinjutsu library left in the Elemental Countries, so he should get a head start that way too."

It would also let her keep half an eye on Sasori, because she really hadn't a clue in hell what was going on with him. She was almost too tired to try to figure it out, too. It might be one of the things she wouldn't ever get to understand, just because it wasn't Konohagakure centered. She knew practically nothing of the younger years of Akasuna no Sasori, other than he was the one to kill the Sandaime Kazekage when he was about sixteen and then ran off to join up with criminal version of Akatsuki later on in his thirties… but she knew the Third Wind Shadow was alive.

He and Hiruzen had a lengthy letter exchange every few months or so, and she'd done runs to deliver letters before because the Third Fire Shadow's written dispatches were delivered by ANBU so his handwriting was never in danger of being intercepted by outside influences. Same thing for Suna's military leader, his own ANBU agents took his letters to Konoha.

She did know the teen already had his title of Sasori of the Red Sands, and apparently whatever she did or didn't do that changed his outlook on life wasn't enough to shift him from his love of puppetry.

"The seals were yours'." Sasori breathed, his mind already connecting the dots. "During the last fight for the pass. You're also the probable source for the explosive seals being used liberally before we caught up with you. Will you really teach Komushi to draw his own?"

"Um… sure? I will be telling the Hokage its' part of the offer, so don't try to conceal it." Natsumi ran a hand through her hair, loosening the tail she had gathered it in that morning. "You've got the hard part of convincing our respective kages that the apprenticeship is a good idea, so it might take a year or so for me to start teaching him if it is approved."

He bolted to his feet, excitement lighting up his face so he looked less stoned and more like the handsome young man he was. "I'll ask Chiyo-baa-sama to ask, I'll even beg Kazekage-sama myself if I have to. Thank you, Natsumi-dono, for the offer even if nothing comes of it."

\V/

Natsumi had just enough time to settle back home in Konoha, and see each friend left in the village before something happened. She also managed to learn she would be keeping her Panther mask since it would be too obvious who she was to give her another, and take two days off from any shinobi work with her husband before she was called into the Hokage's office and told yes, she would be getting a student. From Sunagakure.

Additionally yes, they would like it very much if she would consent to teach the chūnin some fūinjutsu, please.

Natsumi blinked at the letter in her hand, absently admiring the fact the Third Kazekage's preferred ink had powdered metal in it. Probably tiny steel flakes, since iron rusted and rusty ink wouldn't be very diplomatic. Her mind instantly wandered to possibly lethal office supplies, and she hastily smothered the snicker that tried to escape her as she realize to a kage, that was probably reality more than fantasy.

"So… you don't mind my first student is going to be a Sand ninja, Hiruzen-sama?"

"It will be good for relations between our villages, so no." The head of the Sarutobi clan spoke calmly, probably as a counter to the bristling Shimura Danzō did in the corner of his office. "We will be restricting the amount you teach him, so do not plan on more than the basics."

"Basics will take a while, anyways." The assassin weighed that in her mind with her plans for this event, vague ones because she really hadn't expected it to be approved of this fast. The conversation she had with Sasori had only happened a month and a half ago, after all. She had been banking on it taking a year or so through the diplomatic red tape any inter-village apprenticeship would develop. "And the arrangement between me and Sasori-san for his comrade was actually for learning suiton jutsus, not fūinjutsu. The whole apprenticeship will probably take two or so years, just for the basics of both. Anything further should be decided on then."

The graying shinobi behind the desk nodded thoughtfully, already drafting a response from him and the ANBU captain to his fellow kage in his head. "Do you have a lesson plan already in mind?"

"Reading fūinjutsu first, it's kinda the reason a lot of shinobi blow themselves up trying to learn seals without a master. They make a mistake and never realize it because they never saw a correct seal before pumping chakra into a faulty seal and it all goes boom on them." She and Minato had singed their fingers on a lot of seals over the years, and put craters into a lot of furniture, but Natsumi would never know if Kushina did the same thing thanks to her healing rate boosted by Kurama. "Depending on how good his calligraphy is, might take a good few months or so to get him started on trying to ink his own seals with plain ink. Then imbuing ink with chakra and the varied methods thereof, _then_ actual explosive seals. Easily takes a year, year and a half, to get to the first and easiest branch of fūinjutsu if we do it all without adding in suiton jutsu teachings. And then my own workload needs to be taken into account, but fūinjutsu is a study intensive shinobi art and missions shouldn't slow any good student down much."

Hiruzen nodded firmly, pleased he wouldn't have to help her figure out what she was going to teach the Sand-nin. "Now, Komushi-san is an orphan. By the laws regarding them in Konoha, you would in fact be his legal guardian for the duration of his apprenticeship. The Kazekage has already stated he both knows and approves that you and the Naras will be legally responsible for him, but I do have to inform you of the fact before any formal apprenticeship happens."

"Uh… he'd be a ward of both the Nara clan and the Hatake clan, Hiruzen-sama."

She could almost hear the crack of Danzō's neck as the Village Elder snapped his head around to bore a hole in her back with his one visible eye alone. The Third Fire Shadow also looked up to stare at his assassin, silently telling her to 'explain, _now_ '.

Natsumi winced. She hadn't realized neither knew about that. "Well… Sakumo-taicho and I never did do anything about the legal mess left behind from my marriage to Shikaku. I'm still technically a daughter of the Hatake clan… and of Jiraiya-sensei, now that I think about it. So is Minato, but only for sensei. Inoichi had both a clan and parents still alive by his sixteenth birthday, so I don't think Jiraiya-sensei ever did anything about the two of us being technically his kids, too."

Hiruzen furrowed his brow and thought about that. "Which is why you were able to step in for Eri-chan when Kakashi-kun's schooling was in question. You're technically his elder sister, and a senior kunoichi of the Hatake clan. It wasn't just a civilian wife of the clan head, who wouldn't know what was best for another shinobi trainee, calling a clan kunoichi she knew for help. It was the weight of your legal Hatake clan influence that forced Junko-sensei back about advancing Kakashi-kun a year or two."

"Well… yes. We, taicho and I, never did anything about it because it was convenient. So Eri-kaa-san had my protection and help when he was out of the village while Kakashi-kun was growing up. And when the war started, it was more of an arrangement to ensure no one took advantage of her lack of knowledge in shinobi affairs in regards to the Hatake clan's wartime responsibilities… and add the few there were to the Nara clan's realm of responsibility so we didn't overwhelm Eri-kaa-san. That schooling thing was just an added bonus we found after the fact, something we didn't foresee but are not going to argue about."

The Hokage's lips twitched upward, dry amusement warming his features as Natsumi's very formal mode of address for the older civilian woman finally made some sense to him. "Are you going to tell Jiraiya and Sakumo-kun you're technically going to make them both grandfathers sometime soon? And inform Eri-chan she's going to be a grandmother? I am very pleased you are the first to make me a great-grandfather, after all. Biwako will be thrilled."

Blushing beet red, the assassin refused to comment and couldn't look her kage in the eye. She could _already_ hear her fellow ANBU snickering at her from the shadows of the office.

"I will take it in faith no one in Sunagakure knows of this connection between two of our clans and one of our sannin and, through you all, me." Hiruzen chuckled at both her complexion and expression. It was very rare he could draw either out of one of his ANBU captains, and a day he got both was probably one to remember. "Very well, a ward of all of you… and me. He will be arriving in a few weeks, and you will need to cover his housing costs and studying supplies at first."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

(ooo000ooo)

Komushi's jaw dropped. It was probably horribly undignified, especially in front of his Kazekage, _especially for what he apparently was now_ , but he couldn't help it.

He was going to legally _be_ the grandson of Konohagakure's _Jiraiya of the Sannin_ , through him a great-grandson of Sarutobi clan's head and Konoha's current _Hokage_ , also a grandson of the Hatake clan's head, and finally the _eldest son_ of the Nara clan's head and his wife for the duration of his apprenticeship in the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

Him, Komushi. An orphaned, clan-less, nobody, chūnin dispatch runner from Wind Country. All because his best friend, Akasuna no Sasori, _found and_ _talked_ to the same Leaf kunoichi every Suna genin watched using a _C-ranked suiton jutsu in a desert_ during her chūnin examination at age _thirteen_ , and got her to agree to _teach him_ water jutsus and some fūinjutsu.

"This is unexpected news." Said best friend spoke into the silence of the Kazekage's office, his eyes locked on the back of the letter their kage had just read aloud from. "I knew Natsumi-dono was the wife of the Nara clan head, but I didn't realize she was also the daughter of two other shinobi of note and a granddaughter of the Fire Shadow himself."

"By a technicality, but yes." Satoshi, the Sandaime Kazekage, confirmed blandly. "Considering the skills you reported she held, and the rank that lets her command Konoha's ANBU forces on the front, it should not come as a surprise Natsumi-sama is a kunoichi of note in her own right."

"Sneaky, sneaky little girl." Chiyo cackled with approval, delighting in the shocked expressions around her, _especially_ her younger brother Ebizo's. "Nothing was even hinted at it in her bingo book page, and Kumo still doesn't realize exactly who their stupid B-san is hitting on. A simple Nara clan jōnin kunoichi and kenjutsu master, _hah!_ An _ANBU captain_ and _fūinjutsu user_ is more like it!"

"Sarutobi-sama states, in his letter, that he is sure no one besides the individuals involved on his end knew the full situation between them, so he has no concerns this is a ploy by Suna to infiltrate Konoha's noble clans. That being said, there is some concern of adding an unaware Sunagakure shinobi into a Konohagakure social circle that high without warning."

"Oh dear." Sasori's mother, Akiko, pressed a hand to her mouth. "Komushi-kun will probably get to know quite a few other high ranking Leaf ninja over the course of two or three years, some of the Yamanaka clan and the Akimichi clan members for sure."

Satoshi scrolled through the letter, searching for the part that mentioned the clans Nara Natsumi knew. "Actually, Akiko-san, _all_ the clans. Natsumi-sama knows and spends time with not only the clan heads of all the major clans of Konohagakure, she also knows and occasionally teaches the Hokage's own sons, her technically younger brother, and the last Senju Grandson, as well as frequently visits their academy and the current classes of Konoha's genin trainees. It is likely Komushi-san will become very well known in the Land of Fire if he completes his apprenticeship to her satisfaction."

His tone carried the order that he _had better_ complete the apprenticeship to Nara Natsumi's satisfaction, and Komushi gulped silently as he heard that unspoken order.

There were no other actual sealing masters in Wind Country, just a few minor users that taught themselves through trial and effort and sported the scars from it. Like how Chiyo-baa-sama knew some due to chancing upon it a few times in her entire kunoichi career. Not just Komushi's reputation was riding on this opportunity to learn some suiton jutsu from a Fire Country kunoichi slightly famous in the lower ranks of Suna's shinobi for using it in battle in the middle of the desert.

He was getting the chance to learn seals under one of the Toad Sage's students, have access to two or three other known fūinjutsu users if needed, and might even be trusted enough after a year or so of study to see the sealing library started by Uzumaki Mito-sama. Then, he would be allowed to bring that knowledge back to Sunagakure and teach it here.

This was Sand's best chance to learn the rare shinobi art of fūinjutsu from the only Elemental Country left famous for its' sealing masters.

Sasori had gotten it tacked on to an offer to teach some suiton jutsu for his best friend. Komushi realized, yet again, that he had the best possible friend in the whole wide world.

"You can count on me, Kazekage-sama." It was a bit daunting, being thrust into the upper echelons of another hidden village like this, but he wasn't going to ruin it. Not after Sasori had arranged this to help him out. "I'll be the best possible student for Natsumi-sama."

\V/

Natsumi fidgeted with her chopsticks, keenly feeling the silence around her press in.

Jiraiya rubbed his chin, looking between his old fūinjutsu apprentice and the little assassin he had taught years ago who were theoretically still his own children. Joining his old student in not looking at his wife, Sakumo pretended the ceiling in the Nara's kitchen was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen and definitely deserved a fifth look. Sitting next to a shocked Minato, Kushina looked practically gleeful at this turn of conversation. Shikaku, the ass, was laughing under his breath next to his wife.

Kakashi just kept eating, not really all that sure why the news was all that shocking. He knew Natsumi was his sister, so what was the problem?

"Well… that makes sense." Eri stated bluntly, breaking the silence when her husband and, apparently, technically eldest daughter wouldn't look at her. "I did wonder why you were so good about helping me out over the years, Natsumi-chan. But didn't the two of you think I would like to be informed when I adopt someone?"

Now she learned where Kakashi inherited that bluntness from, his mother. His father had more tact.

"It's really only a legal ninja thing, Eri-san." Natsumi strictly denied the facet of reality that said she was blushing. She was just getting a little warm, that's all, so what if it was nearly midwinter? "For shinobi trainees that get orphaned when genin or chūnin rank and have nowhere else to go but out of the village. It's… really not supposed to work the way taicho and I used it… but…"

The assassin trailed off when the civilian woman pointed a dainty finger in her face. "You can't call me that anymore. I'm your mother, so Eri-kaa-san it is. You can even use kaa-chan, I won't mind."

The jinchūriki sitting in her kitchen was nice enough to smother her laugher in her boyfriend's back, but her husband barked out loud at Natsumi's timid nod before smothering the rest of his laughter into his hand.

 _Someone_ was sleeping on the couch tonight.

Make that two some ones, the assassin realized as the civilian woman turned on her husband with a narrow look. "And now why didn't you tell me? I know Natsumi-chan was probably terrified I'd say I didn't want her, but you have no such excuse Sakumo."

The shinobi in question scratched the side of his face sheepishly. "She begged me not to."

Eri's expression cleared up instantly. "Oh. Okay then."

Natsumi graced her old kenjutsu master with a wry glare, as she had done no such thing. Sakumo grimaced and realized Natsumi was probably going to hold that over his head for a year or so before letting him off the hook.

"So… wait. We _really are_ siblings?" Minato broke into the pause in the conversation with surprise, switching the target of his stare for both his old fūinjutsu master and his sempai.

The assassin's shoulders slumped a bit as she repeated herself. "Technically. Since we both are _still_ legally wards of Jiraiya-sensei. Yes."

"I thought you knew that, Minato." The sannin grinned at the incredulous expression on the blond's face. "I was told years ago, when I took a genin team, that as you were an orphan it would make you mine since you didn't have family yourself. Honestly, I thought the two of you broke that arrangement when you reach sixteen like most of Konoha shinobi do if they needed their jōnin-sensei to step in as a legal guardian. I haven't looked at the reports that would list legal guardians for certain ninja myself in years, which is why this passed me by."

"I never did for the same reasons taicho and I never broke it." Natsumi offered into the silence as her kouhai processed that. "If Sakumo-taicho and I weren't available, Eri-kaa-san and Kakashi-kun could go to either you or Minato for help, and then the other sannin if needed. Or possibly Kushina-hime now, but that was before he started dating her."

That bit of sly legal work she was taking advantage of was also why she had forgiven most of her friends for not doing anything for Naruto in that story only she knew. Not only was Jiraiya the blond brat's godfather, he was technically his grandfather as well. Meaning any attempt to adopt the kid by anyone other than a jōnin-sensei would probably have been denied by the Toad Sage as his legal guardian, and probably Sarutobi Hiruzen as the brat's technically great-grandfather. Possibly why the Hokage let the young jinchūriki call him 'Hokage-jii' in public, as it was true in a fashion.

Leaf ninjas could have some _technically_ convoluted family trees, for sure.

Eri's face lit up when the assassin called her mother of her own free will. She had wondered why the young woman that saved her and her son's life when she was a teenager was so formal with her, it had always been 'Eri-san' and never 'Eri-ba-san' or the highly awaited and finally true 'Eri-kaa-san'. In the half a decade she had known Natsumi, there had been times when Eri had the thought maybe the kunoichi didn't like her as much as she thought. This was so much better than being claimed as an aunt, and certainly worth the wait.

"So…" Minato trailed off as his brain finally restarted. His sempai was his _sister_. "Siblings… _awesome_. Who's older?"

Natsumi snorted. "I am. By half a year, _otouto_. I thought you knew that."

"Right, right… I did! Honest." The blond held up his hands in his defense when his sister-sempai glared at him. "Is there any more hidden family relationships we need to cover before this Sand chūnin student of yours gets here, _aneki?_ "

"Well…" Jiraiya answered for both the assassin and himself. "Since Hiruzen-sensei _is_ my old sensei, and I _was_ an orphan, the Hokage is your grandfather. Technically."

Minato choked on thin air, Kushina dissolved into giggles, Shikaku face palmed, and Natsumi's head hit the table. Sakumo closed his eyes at his best friend, and _technically_ cousin, and his lack of tact as his wife joined the jinchūriki in giggling. Kakashi finally looked up from his dinner as the conversation _finally_ got interesting.

This had to be the weirdest conversation Natsumi had ever been a part of. Even weirder than the 'reincarnation is possible' one.

Not as awkward as telling the Hokage that, technically, she was still his granddaughter and Minato was a grandson, but a close second.

\V/

"Are you sure about this, Tsume? I mean, we currently have one fucked up family tree. It might not be a good idea to throw your lot in with us." Natsumi blithely informed the Inuzuka alpha as she helped the other kunoichi to a couch after her checkup.

The wild kunoichi grinned broadly, snickering as she recalled being told the whole situation while the medic-ninjas were checking her health and that of her unborn daughter's. The expressions of horror on a few faces were probably going to crack her up for the rest of her pregnancy. "I've got until spring to change my mind, so start sucking up. Besides, you can't tell me it's not satisfying to claim the _Hokage_ as grandfather in front of all those pricks that sneer for your lack of birth family clan."

The assassin thought about it, she did, but couldn't truthfully claim to Tsume's face that it didn't feel satisfying. Shikaku had never said if anyone had ever said anything about her lack of family to his face, but a few had the guts to come up to her and try telling her off for marrying into a not quite noble shinobi clan when she didn't have the breeding for it. Mesuji wasn't a clan name, after all. Mostly civilians, which Natsumi couldn't do anything about, but the few shinobi bloodline purists never tried again when she beat the ever living shit out of them.

You really couldn't win everyone over. Clan shinobi preferred clan-less orphans if they had to marry outside a clan, but the civilians thought it was kind of like marrying above your station. Then because the reverse was certainly true enough for some, clan shinobi marrying civilians was seen as something sordid by both shinobi and civilian alike.

Unless, of course, they were wildly popular like Sakumo and Eri, but...

Even Eri hadn't escaped from her civilian life without a few scathing comments about trapping the sole Hatake alive, then, by getting pregnant with his son. The woman had just sniffed at those that tried to insult her, turned on her heel and informed her husband and his then kenjutsu student of what had been said. Needless to say, it hadn't been a problem for her for long.

Gossip wasn't always positive, and shinobi happenings was a favorite topic in any Hidden Village.

Tsume was facing a fair bit of it herself. She wasn't married, had no plans to get married, and intended to raise her daughter by herself. The Inuzuka clan as a whole really didn't care, Tsume was alpha and what she said went, but the civilians and the stuffier clans did care she was pregnant out of wedlock and didn't intend to fix that fact.

Which was why the jōnin tracker asked the ANBU captain and assassin to be the godmother of her unborn daughter.

 _Nara Natsumi was now Inuzuka Hana's godmother_. Unreal or what?

Kuromaru nipped her fingers when the assassin was silent too long for Tsume's liking. "Well, are you in or out?"

"Sorry, Tsume. Sure, whatever. I'll take the brat when you're out of the village." Natsumi grinned back at the half thankful, half scornful look the Inuzuka alpha gave her for the flippant reply. "Now, I've got a Sand-nin to pick up at the Tower. You stay here and rest your pretty little head."

Tsume threw one of her couch's pillows out the window after the ANBU captain.

(ooo000ooo)

Komushi was nervous.

Not only had he traveled with the Sandaime Kazekage to Konohagakure no Sato, three days of travel with the strongest ninja in Suna, but he was now standing outside the office door of the Sandaime Hokage, the strongest shinobi in Konoha.

 _Who would technically be his great-grandfather for the duration of his apprenticeship_.

The Wind Shadow was currently in a meeting with the Fire Shadow, leaving the bulk of the retune he had traveled with in the outer office where a nice looking civilian lady was working. Komushi found himself a quiet corner and proceeded to panic. Sasori had tried to be supportive, but he actually had already talked to the kunoichi and got one of her ANBU masks so he didn't really understand why his friend was so nervous over meeting Nara Natsumi.

A tap on his shoulder drew him out of his thoughts. "Stop panicking. It won't be very impressive if you keel over meeting a foreign kage."

The chūnin looked to his left, where a Leaf kunoichi crouched. "I'm allowed to panic, there's a lot riding on this."

"Like what?" She asked casually, seating herself right next to him.

"Like if I fail, I'll probably insult the whole of Fire Country."

Her eyebrows rose up. "That's a lot of people. Why would they be insulted if you fail?"

Komushi grimaced, just thinking about it would probably give him nightmares. "I have an apprenticeship set with Nara Natsumi-sama. To learn suiton jutsu and some fūinjutsu. She's apparently related to the Hokage-sama."

Natsumi blinked, looking again at the Suna chūnin she had decided to wait next to.

This was her soon to be student? What the hell did they tell him?

"Oh?"

"Through some kind of legality, yeah."

The assassin blinked again, then pulled a face of her own. Oh, that's what he was talking about.

Even worse, it had become a kind of joke around the village once the news of how some clans had become snarled up together had gotten out. Natsumi blamed Tiger, the ass had been the one on Hokage duty the day she told the older shinobi what she was to the Hatake clan. It might possibly have been Kushina's fault, she had been way too amused by the whole 'family' dinner night thing.

That prompting made it seem like a damn had burst, and Komushi ended up telling his teacher a lot of what he felt about the apprenticeship and how that was going to affect him; what Suna was hoping to get out of it; the etiquette lessons he had been forced through; and how he knew he was going to horribly fail at something and get kicked out of Fire Country for that failure.

Natsumi reached across and shut the teenager's mouth before it could run away any further without his brain. "I feel I must inform you there's been a development in regards to the very odd relationships going around Konoha."

Komushi had some darkly tanned skin, darker than Shikaku's but not so dark as B's, but that didn't stop him from paling noticeably.

Then the Hokage spoke up and he lost even more color. "I hope the change isn't too dire, Natsumi-chan."

Grinning up at the Fire Shadow, the assassin pretended not to notice the chūnin's gaping in her direction. "I'm now Tsume's unborn daughter's godmother, Hiruzen-sama."

The Wind Shadow, who had a hat just like the Hokage but with green instead of red and the kanji for 'wind' on it, raised an eyebrow at his companion. Sarutobi Hiruzen could keep the smirk from his face, but not completely from his voice, as he turned to his fellow kage and identified the person in question. "Inuzuka Tsume, the alpha of the Inuzuka clan. And congratulations, neko-chan."

"Thanks, Sandaime-sama. So, we've met," Natsumi slung an arm around her poor, probably vastly confused student, "is there anything else you need me for, kage-samas?"

She was probably being irrelevant and way too flippant in the face of two kage level shinobi, but this was funny.

Hiruzen sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He _had_ started it however, so he let it slide for now. "No, Natsumi-chan. I take it you're going to set up Komushi-kun in the Nara clan compound?"

"Yep, two doors down from me and Shikaku." Natsumi pushed herself up, pulling Komushi along by virtue of the hold she had on his shoulder.

Sasori then noticed who exactly the two kages were talking to and walked over. "Natsumi-dono. Thank you again for the opportunity you are providing Suna."

The assassin saluted the younger puppet master with two fingers. "Not a problem, Sasori-san. I'm actually getting my mastery in fūinjutsu for this, so it's mutually beneficial."

The slight line between the teen's brow disappeared and he considered her thoughtfully. "You need to teach to become a master of sealing?"

"To teach is to know, in other words." Natsumi nodded as well with a lopsided grin, knowing the question of what Konoha got out of the deal had to be going through the minds of every Sand ninja here and back in Wind Country. "I'm actually the first of my generation to take on a student, but also the oldest of all of us that can seal. I promise to return him, slightly singed but mostly okay."

Jiraiya gained his mastery when he taught Minato and the blond survived it. Minato could have taught Kakashi for his own and would probably formally do so again for his mastery in this life. Natsumi needed someone to teach for her mastery, hence the Suna chūnin currently staring at her like she was kami reborn.

Fūinjutsu was a hazardous art to learn, after all. Just look at the number of poor coffee tables she and Minato had gone through over the years.

The Kazekage nodded firmly at her, catching the unspoken promise to ensure his shinobi would return to Suna even if it was a dangerous art to learn.

(ooo000ooo)

After the leave taking and brief tour of Konoha, Natsumi took Komushi home to the Nara compound and sat the poor kid down in her kitchen for the first lesson in the Village Hidden in the Leaves legal mess that left him assuming he was going to be adopted into the Hokage's family for a few years. It really only meant who he could go to if anyone challenged his presence in the village, and that he was _her_ student and ward for those years.

To say the chūnin was relieved _not_ to actually be related to any major clan of Konoha was putting it mildly.

The assassin was almost insulted.

"Now, fūinjutsu." Natsumi almost didn't have to do anything else to catch the darkly tanned teenager's attention, and that was almost pathetic. "If you hadn't noticed yet, my home is covered in it."

One of the perks of marrying a fūinjutsu user, the Nara clan's head's house was sealed against practically everything.

It wasn't paranoia if they were really out to get you, and tried once before. That was Natsumi's take on it and she was sticking to it. She had almost been killed in this house right after her marriage to Shikaku. Additionally, she killed people for a living. Said killing was easier if they felt safe like they did in their own home. Yeah, she might be a bit screwed up, but at least it was for a good cause.

"I see it, Natsumi-shishou." Indeed, Komushi almost couldn't look away from the script work on almost every door and window frame.

"Good. If they ever glow blue and stay lit, _do not enter the house_." The assassin smiled grimly at the wide eye look she was getting from her student. "The seals will kill you if you try, burning you from your chakra network out. So don't."

The Suna ninja realized the beautiful calligraphy he had been admiring was actually as lethal as his teacher was. He gulped, tore his eyes away again from the ink standing starkly out from the wooden surfaces, and paid rapt attention to his fūinjutsu master.

"I'm sure you've wondered why there isn't a handy little manual given out to hopeful seal users. One that documents every seal used and what they do," Natsumi grimaced as the teen nodded, "there have been attempts to make a scroll containing everything a novice fūinjutsu user needs to know; but besides the calligraphy tips they're almost useless to anyone else but the seal user in question that did the writing."

Komushi blinked. That… was not helpful. "Why not?"

"Because a thousand and three things will alter your sealing pattern from my own." The assassin held up a hand as she ticked off the traits she, Minato, and Kushina had pooled together one stormy day and figured out. "Chakra nature, dominant hand, the ink you use, how you lace the ink with your chakra, the paper or surface used, the way you think, the order you consider important, so on so forth. For instance, I am suiton natured like you. My otouto, Namikaze Minato, is wind natured. I use the King of the Raging Seas and Roar of the Thunder God to spark an explosive seal, Minato uses Bridge of Four Dragons and the Easterly Winds at the same time to do the same thing. Who's is more powerful?"

Her student frowned as he thought hard. "I would assume your otouto's, because wind strengthens fire."

"Nope. Mine are more powerful than Minato's." Smirking dryly at the confused expression she was getting, Natsumi delved into her favorite part of fūinjutsu. _Intent_. "I use two kami in my seal, so I think they are more important and end up offering the two parts of my seal more chakra than Minato usually does. Now, Kushina-hime is another seal user I know of. Her element is fire. Paired with my previous seal, she uses Amaterasu's Heavenly Fire to do the same thing as my two kami in her explosive tag. Whose is better?"

Komushi ignored the fire element hint, sure it was a trick… but it couldn't be as simple as one major god verses two minor ones, right? "Neither."

The ANBU captain barked a laugh at his guess. "Nice, but I'm sure that was a guess rather than an actual answer. I bet you can't tell me why."

The chūnin flushed under his tan. "Hai, shishou. I guessed."

"Don't worry, you'll be doing a lot of that over time." Natsumi leaned back in her chair, still smirking. "In all actuality, it doesn't matter that Kushina-hime and I use kami and Minato uses dragons. The sequence of the seals matter only very little and only to the seal user themselves, even the chakra used in seals won't do much but power one. Fūinjutsu is writing, basically all it really is, and what matters is what you make of it. That's why the more complicated seals cannot be copied very well by another seal user, they don't know what the original fūinjutsu user initially thought when inking it so their mind wanders when inking a copy."

"But… standard patterns-"

"Are standard patterns that everyone knows will do what they're intended for. They are correct as far as the rules to fūinjutsu, if not very effective for everyone. Why would they think differently?"

Startled, Komushi blinked at the ghost eyed kunoichi across the table from him. "So why doesn't written orders explode if someone writes explode on it?"

"Do they have chakra imbued ink at the time of writing? Or did they put any chakra into it after writing?"

"Neither."

"Then nothing will happen. Why should it?"

The tanned Suna chūnin was starting to realize exactly how little his village knew of sealing. It was supposed to be something exotic, arcane passages that controlled and focused chakra into varied and many different uses. Had they been overcomplicating something as simple as the word 'stop' written in a barrier seal?

He didn't realize he spoke aloud until his master answered him.

"Nope. Again, there is a rhyme to the madness. For a barrier seal you would need the kanji for 'stop', true, but you also would need kanji to hold chakra, funnel it to the kanji for 'stop', and have a built in switch to monitor the chakra draw. If it's a self-sustaining seal, it would also need something to draw in the ambient chakra from the surroundings to power it. And it needs to know what it's stopping so identifier kanji, which actually make up the largest part of any barrier seal. There are more parts to any basic seal in that branch, but its' way out of your reach until you learn to make explosive seals and feel your way to what you need to tell your fūinjutsu to do for it to do it."

Now that they seemed to be getting to his sealing study, Komushi started with the part that confused him the most. "Why are we starting with explosive seals? I thought that putting chakra into something made them explode, so why is it the first thing any seal user learns with?"

Natsumi tilted her head to the side, watching her student carefully. "Two things. First of all, we start with explosive seals because they are simple and they explode. There are four main parts, the least out of all the sealing branches, and easy to experiment with to learn how your style will develop for inking bigger seals. You will blow up yourself, the writing table you are using, and your supplies very easily, very fast, and most of all, _under supervision until I say otherwise_. Its' the part of fūinjutsu study that kills the most trying to learn it only because they are stupid and never get someone to watch them before they try something bigger and realize their explosive seals were not correct, they were just exploding _because_ they were wrong. If done correctly, an explosive seal will only go off once a trigger is tripped. Hopefully after you let it go. Which is how we know it's working right when we get there. You'll start to develop your own sequences to name that will do what it sounds like. Like my King of the Raging Seas. He's violent, he lashes out to any water chakra nearby for more power, he explodes; its' basically three sequences in one massive kanji I developed for my explosive seals. Secondly, you're not starting with explosive seals yet."

"I'm not?"

"You're starting with calligraphy lessons. What is the difference in your handwritten kanji for 'to enter' and your kanji for 'person'?"

The Suna shinobi flushed darkly, again, and Natsumi nodded.

She hadn't been expecting much else, really.

"So, calligraphy lessons. I've gotten you a calligraphy set; ink, ink stone, brushes, a clay pot, water jar, and a whole lot of paper. Guess what you'll be doing when you have the free time and I'm not teaching you suiton jutsus?"

\V/

Sasori stared at the scroll a very big feline had delivered to him earlier. He had already read through it, but it was still rather surprising. "At least his handwriting is improving."

"Who's, Sasori-kun?"

"Komushi's." The young puppet master handed off the scroll to his grandmother, taking a seat at the table with his mother. "Natsumi-dono has a Summons Contract with the Leopards, so she is able to ensure my friend can write letters to me frequently."

Akiko nodded, her eyes flickering to the scroll. "That's good. Was there anything else interesting Komushi-kun wrote about?"

"Natsumi-dono's home is covered in fūinjutsu and he is allowed to study it as long as it is not active, as apparently it is lethal to anyone breaking in or out. He is also given several examples of different seals every morning and is required to tell his master exactly what each one does when active every evening."

Chiyo grinned, reading through the first fūinjutsu lesson the boy had also gotten. " _Calligraphy_ lessons. Oh… if I were young again, I'd see if young neko-chan wouldn't mind more than one student."

"Young again? Compared to what, the mountains?" Ebizo peered over at his older sister and the scroll in her hands. "I still don't understand why we are encouraging this. Suna doesn't need Konoha's help."

"They are not helping us, jii-sama." Sasori stated firmly. As it was true, Natsumi-dono was helping him. "Konoha is helping themselves. They are the ones that will get a fūinjutsu master from this arrangement, we will only gain a user."


	9. Intermission

_There are as many sides to a story as there are characters to it, and sometimes even a few more from the scenery's perspective._

_For who's to say who is the hero and who is the villain? Maybe your hero is really the villain's antihero. Have you ever thought of that?_

* * *

Nara Shikaku, tactical genius and insanely intelligent though he was, was oftentimes very confused over his wife's actions.

However, as Natsumi liked to frequently quote to her recently acquired student Komushi about the methods behind fūinjutsu, there was a rhyme to her madness that really only made sense after the fact.

Almost everything she had done in this life so far could only be belatedly understood, and only when you looked back and saw all the pieces fitting together and what events she had twined her actions around.

A bit violent when she was a genin and chūnin?

Dodge and situational awareness training, ensuring the ninja she knew would be able to survive even when they only half processed the thought they might be in danger. Minato had only told them about it when he got back and stayed back in Konoha after the first stage of Konoha's war with Iwa was done, something that made the rest of them wonder exactly why they hadn't realized it themselves.

Sadistically perverted verbally?

Kushina had spilled most of that secret he needed to piece it together, Natsumi was gauging how old mentally the rest of them were and at what point she could drop the childishness and treat them like fellow comrades without it going too far over their heads. She kept it up now only because Inoichi couldn't help but react and she thought it was hysterical.

A sarcastic challenge to the Hyūga and Uchiha academy trainees that they together couldn't beat the orphans?

The orphans had kicked the asses of the two heirs and their seconds in the first few fights until the four of them put aside their differences just so they could pull a win for _once_ , then kept it up when they recognized the other clan members had good ideas. The frequent spars had created a bond of trust between the heirs of the two noble clans that were collectively thought to be rivals, even by the clan themselves, something they now used to reach each other even when they faced the other across a council room.

Shikaku himself had taken advantage of that developing bond when Hizashi had approached him for help with the Cursed Seal of the Cadged Bird, and he never even realized at the time that he was working with the results of her efforts in clan diplomacy.

There were a few more instances Shikaku didn't have all the pieces to understand yet, but this was another of those belated realizations behind her actions that made others feel stupid in hindsight.

Natsumi had been _actively hostile_ to the newer academy-sensei chūnin nearly from the moment she met them. He hadn't understood when she initially brought it up, it seemed like such a random thing to get irritated over that at first he had chalked it up to something of a project for her to spend time on. Natsumi collected projects over the years the way civilians did knickknacks, and he was vaguely sure Komushi was another of them. She had kept talking about the current state of the academy even after trying to tell him what she thought was so wrong with it, and it stuck in his head until he gave it some more thought.

His wife loved Kakashi. Natsumi would probably never say it aloud, but he knew. She had saved his life as a baby, had a hand in raising the brat, and babysat him when Eri and Sakumo had to spend time on other things. She even now listened patiently when he informed her of what he was learning in spite of the current academy difficulties, and had taught him a thousand and one tips and tricks she had found out from 'growing up' with her unique mindset that might help a genius academy student just that much more.

She might actually love the other three kids that her pseudo littlest brother tagged along with too. She had babysat Nawaki frequently for Tsunade after the Second War, so she probably viewed him more like a little cousin or nephew than a brother. Natsumi was actually more than fond of Asuma than Koichi, probably because the younger of the two Sarutobi brothers was so easygoing, but tolerated the both of them raising hell in their home with the other two easily enough.

At first Shikaku had concluded Natsumi was irritated at the academy-sensei because what they were doing might harm the foursome's genin careers until their jōnin-sensei fixed it.

Then Sakumo finished his work on Konoha's rapidly paced push through Kusa to Earth's border and finally came home long enough to sit everyone down and listen to what had gone on while he was gone from the village. The Nara clan head had been dragged along because he was Natsumi's husband and Eri was having way too much fun out of _finally_ getting the assassin to admit she saw the civilian woman as a mother figure.

Once Natsumi was done telling everything she knew about the academy and what was happening to it to everyone at the dinner table; Sakumo was grim, Eri stark white, Kakashi viewed his sister with even more hero worship than before, and Shikaku was having another of his wife induced 'Damn, I'm thick. _Why_ didn't I _think_ of _that?_ ' moments.

The ANBU captain really didn't care about the short term ramifications to the academy and its' graduating genin. All the jōnin-sensei for the next few years would be veterans of the Second Great Shinobi War and would be up to snuff in fixing anything wrong with them before throwing them into the battlefields of the Third War. The generation after this next one might be fine too. As long as the other shinobi picked up the slack like Shikaku had suggested when he initially heard the issue, keeping the civilian raised ninja trainees from tripping into something that might kill them way too soon, there really wouldn't be any major problems that the jōnin-sensei wouldn't be able to handle.

It was the fourth and fifth generations that would go through the academy that Natsumi was afraid for. Kakashi's possible students and their future kids.

The academy, Natsumi patiently explained to Eri when she had asked, was more than just a school for young midget ninja.

It was a holding pen for shinobi children that wanted to follow their parents' footsteps but weren't old enough to do much as ninja even if they had more than adequate skill. It was the gateway civilian children went through to figure out if they had enough in them to follow their shinobi brethren into their shadowy world. It was a safety check to ensure none of the ninja candidates had any mental or personality problems that would manifest later in life _after_ they had been taught more ways to kill a man than cats knew to exterminate rats.

It also was where young shinobi learned the tricks and tools of the trade, how to defend against them, and all while being observed practicing by older ninja who could keep them from actually killing themselves and each other. It was where they found what shinobi art they wanted to specialize in, got past the childish urges to experiment that might harm themselves or others without proper supervision, and started learning to rely on the older and fellow shinobi they knew.

It was even where they got together and learned what each of them were like in person, so when they run missions with each other later on they would already know if the ninja in question was sensitive to any subject or event that might happen. It was how they learned each other's personality enough to spot anyone trying to impersonate a fellow classmate later, or when they needed a Yamanaka clan members' help after scaring or traumatizing missions so they could go get that help for them. It was how they knew what to build off of when teaching their own genin team, because they had been students themselves once and knew what they were likely to get thrown by now that they left the academy behind.

Right now, the chūnin-sensei were changing the academy from a purely shinobi styled school to a civilian based one. It might have some good points to it, the more structured and less hands on method of teaching would probably reduce the number of sensei the academy would need later. For a ninja school, it wasn't idea for purely shinobi styled lessons where hands on experience was really the only way to understand enough to ensure students didn't kill themselves when encountering that threat later on.

The point in which Natsumi realized the possible future consequences of the changes in the academy was when Junko-sensei wanted to advance Kakashi a year without listening to the kid or his mother himself _why_ they didn't want him skipping years.

Kakashi had known before this that he shouldn't skip years without learning everything he could from each class. This was the first time he was hearing his sister's reasoning behind it, though.

Civilians thought being advanced a year in school was a mark of respect from teacher to student for their intelligence, in not wanting to hold them back from developing more complicated thoughts or tackling harder lessons just because they were a little younger than their fellow students. Eri admitted that freely enough when asked about her own schooling. Natsumi countered that to ninja it really was a death threat from shinobi-sensei to lazy students who already proved to be brilliant but unmotivated. Had Junko-sensei succeeded in advancing him a year, Kakashi would probably test out of the rest of them and not see what the years were geared to teach. He was smart enough to do it.

The result would be that there would be one five and a half or six-year-old genin shinobi wandering around Konoha, who wouldn't know what to build off of when teaching his future genin team.

Natsumi then asked Eri what kind of mission work she thought a six-year-old genin was going to do in a time of war.

Kakashi the theoretical genin would be stuck for a few years, too young to run any really dangerous missions for promotion but too skilled to leave at genin rank for years on end. A promotion to chūnin would be the only thing he had to look forward to after waiting around for those acceptable missions to come up. After a year or two of nothing but nonstop training and a few easy D and C-ranked missions, then getting his chūnin promotion because he was a really good shinobi if kinda young, there would be a seven to eight-year-old chūnin Kakashi wandering around Konohagakure no Sato.

Eri didn't even have to be asked what kind of mission work the theoretical seven to eight-year-old chūnin Kakashi would be expected to run in wartime. Natsumi instead started in on some psychology about how humans resented younger pipsqueaks being better than them because it made them feel inferior, and what reception theoretical chūnin Kakashi would raise from his fellow ninja.

The kid himself looked _horrified_ at the life he had almost led without his sister stepping up and helping him out without ever letting him in on what she was doing.

Sakumo looked as if he was in pain at that point, pinching the bridge of his nose for a long moment as he fully realized exactly what kind of life the assassin had saved his son from.

When Natsumi drew breath to start in on theoretical Kakashi's journey to jōnin at age eleven or twelve, and the miserable time he would have being high ranking but too young for much of anything, Sakumo told his technically eldest daughter to shut up, but he was pleased and proud of the way she had watched out for the rest of the family while he had been gone.

Shikaku's beautiful, slightly mad, _brilliantly farsighted_ wife blushed beet red and shut her mouth with a snap of teeth. Then elbowed him in the ribs _hard_ for snickering over her difficulty accepting praise and gratitude from her parental figures in this life.

Since the discussion had run later than planned, the Nara couple stayed over in the Hatake clan compound for the night. The next morning, after Natsumi ambushed her poor, skittish fawn of a Suna chūnin student and gave him some more inactive seals to study as he practiced his brush strokes, Sakumo took the whole extended family to the Hokage's Tower.

Somehow the news of what the Hatake clan head was going to bring up to the Hokage had gotten around while Natsumi went off and dealt with her apprentice, and the small group was joined by almost every clan head left in Konohagakure at the moment. As well as a fair few ninja that had heard of and approved of Natsumi's undermining of the academy-sensei, and a few civilian parents that had heard and wanted to know why.

A few of the academy-sensei themselves joined them, but they had been hoping the meeting would get the crazy Nara Lady to stop disrupting their classes.

Sakumo barged right into a meeting the Sandaime Fire Shadow was holding with the Village Elders, snapping at the ANBU henged as a female secretary that he didn't care if Sarutobi-sama was in a meeting with the Daimyo, _he needed to see the old man_. The retired ANBU captain barely threw an apologetic glance at Utatane Koharu and Mitokado Homura for the interruption before setting his old kenjutsu student down in front of Sarutobi Hiruzen and telling the older shinobi that there seems to be a major problem with the academy.

Natsumi barely had time to throw their village's leader an apologetic glance of her own before the silver haired shinobi turned to her and told her to explain everything she had told him last night.

She did.

Everything, from what the academy really was to how most civilians assumed it worked on hearing about it, laid out in blunt terms so no one could claim later that she was hiding something. A bit more detailed here and there than the discussion last night had gotten into, but that was only because Eri had learned some of shinobi mentality over the years of her marriage to Sakumo and hadn't needed it. She even got into 'theoretical Kakashi's' miserable time as a shinobi, mostly as a practical look into what would happen if students were advanced before they were of age for ninja life.

The shinobi in the room listened in dead silence, the few civilians gossiped in whispers excitedly over what the Nara's Lady was telling them.

After a few seconds when Natsumi stopped talking long enough for everyone to know she was done, Hiruzen took off his hat and looked around at the citizens of Konohagakure that had invaded his office without so much as a by-your-leave. "Does anyone else want to add something to Natsumi-chan's explanation of the current issues regarding the academy?"

"It's probably not their intent-?" His wife's voice painfully cracked on 'intent', and she couldn't continue due to a hoarse throat from talking too much. The medic-nin that jumped to the Nara kunoichi's aid was suspiciously inspected for a moment, she could be a bit of a snob about the medics she got healed by, before the assassin let herself be healed from whatever damage she had just done herself.

Shikaku accepted the honey dosed teacup from Koharu with a grateful nod, taking it to Natsumi and earning himself a fond smile from his wife and an approving one from the iryou-nin.

"Are you maintaining this is a problem derived from a misunderstanding, Natsumi-chan?" Hiruzen asked of his assassin with some concern.

Shikaku realized it was probably the most anyone else outside their circle of friends and teachers had ever heard out of the kunoichi in her entire life. Natsumi wasn't one to explain _every_ little detail she knew when bringing a problem up; she only spoke up every now and again and expected those around her to realize she knew more than they did if she was bothering to say something. It usually happened that way too, due to both her Nara connection and her ANBU experience that most knew about now.

She probably only had spoken so much to reassure the civilians that followed them in that their shinobi fellows were not going to blame them for this incident, as the issue was probably unintentional.

The Hokage probably appreciated her forethought in this, it would help tremendously in keeping relations between the ninja and civilian sides of Konoha smooth. Even if she had hurt herself doing it.

The ANBU captain nodded firmly, cementing the fact in everyone's mind.

"I think my wife is of the opinion that it's the fault of the chūnin instructors _only_ in that they are refusing to heed the idea that the old method of teaching at the academy might've actually had more of a point than they gave credit too, Hiruzen-sama." Shikaku took up the thread of conversation for his wife, having heard her opinion on all of it over the last year and a lot especially last night. He knew his wife, slightly erratic through she may be, and had a good idea what she was thinking. "But they didn't intend for the more far reaching effects their actions will cause, just that they probably wanted a more familiar setting for civilian raised trainees to adjust to."

Natsumi nodded again, sipping at the honeyed tea she had been given to hopefully soothe her still raw throat.

The Hokage gave that weight in his mind, finally nodding after a few moments more of thought. "Then something does need to be done before long. Thank you, Hatake-sama, for raising the issue in a format Nara-sama could finally inform me of the full problem in."

The older shinobi's formal address let the others know that their kage was closing the topic of discussion, and the majority of shinobi that had followed the group in started sneaking away while the civilians left in more obvious methods.

"And next time, neko-chan." Hiruzen's tone of voice let the kunoichi of the Nara couple know he was amused more than exasperated with her. "Please take the time to _inform me_ of the situation rather than waging guerrilla warfare against the academy instructors using the students as soldiers, however instructional it ends up being."

Natsumi grinned cheekily and saluted him before giving the teacup back to the retired kunoichi with a short bow of thanks and leaving behind Sakumo and Eri.

Shikaku lingered behind for Kakashi long enough to hear Homura ask about the 'instructional' part of the Nara's Lady's guerrilla warfare in the academy, and heard the Hokage's response before the office door closed.

"There are more spies, infiltration specialists, and scouts in the next two graduating academy years than there have ever been in the academy's history. Natsumi-chan is a good teacher, when she wants to be."

The head of the Nara clan finally had the last piece to what his wife had been doing spending so much time at the academy for. He had known she was teaching the kids to make up some of the damage they were going to have, but in the face of their compromised physical training he thought couldn't have been a lot. But Natsumi had just adapted and taught them the espionage side of shinobi arts so the next few academy classes wouldn't be completely useless at first.

The jōnin-sensei were still going to have a time and a half getting their kids up to par physically for ninja work, though.

\V/

Komushi wasn't sure what he had been expecting when Sasori had told him about the apprenticeship offer he had gotten for him. All he knew was that it was nothing like how it had turned out.

At the point before the puppet master he called his best friend had returned from Suna's expedition to aid Konoha's fighting force against Iwa, no one in the Village Hidden in the Sand knew of Nara Natsumi other than what had been recorded during her chūnin exam. They knew _of_ her, but only due to the class all genin got in making sure they didn't assume things about any possible opponent and that her name had been Mesuji Natsumi before her marriage, which was public record since every village kept track of other villages' shinobi clans of note.

The Village Hidden in the Leaves had a lot of those.

Komushi, prepping his gear for another run along the borders with a team of fellow chūnin, had gotten a message from the Kazekage himself to report to his office a little after Chiyo-baa-sama had returned with the bulk of the Puppet Brigade. Surprised and a little wary, and desperately hopping no lucky Iwa-nin had gotten to his red-headed best friend, he had missed the mission with full pardon from the kage of Suna himself and headed to the Kazekage's home and office near the center of the Village Hidden in the Sand.

Chiyo-baa-sama and Sasori had, politely enough because the grandson of the Honored Siblings was always polite even if they weren't, waited for him before explaining everything about the ANBU captain and her offer to Sasori on his best friend's behalf to the Kazekage.

A kunoichi now from the Nara clan; Natsumi had a genjutsu that _had to be_ countered by her seals, it couldn't be countered by the normal methods of releasing a genjutsu. She was also skilled enough in the art of the sword to hold B of Kumogakure at bay with minor assistance; high ranking enough to command the shadowy ranks of Konoha's ANBU almost without thought; and was the likely source for the explosive seals used to do Iwa so much damage before Suna reached the pass the fighting was centered on.

Chiyo-baa-sama set every example of the kunoichi's sealing expertise Suna's ninja had found or made away with on the kage's desk, excitedly going on about this and that. Komushi didn't understand any of it, but apparently the Wind Shadow had.

Then Sasori spoke of his meetings with her. How he had received her ANBU mask after she pulled off the effective area of effect genjutsu that left her with chakra exhaustion, and how he had found her later and what they talked about.

Akasuna no Sasori had talked to Nara Natsumi about him.

If Komushi hadn't already been shocked he was in the office for that, what made it worse was that not only did Sasori ask her about teaching him suiton jutsus _she_ had countered with teaching him fūinjutsu.

That had started Nara Natsumi's rapid rise in popularity in the view of most Suna shinobi. _She_ had _volunteered_ to _teach_ him _sealing_ , all because she didn't think the Kazekage would let him go just to learn water jutsus from her. The few suspicious holdouts had more than likely silenced by the news Sasori brought back, that she would become a fūinjutsu master after teaching him seals so it wasn't entirely selfless of her.

He had been so shocked he couldn't recall what he had told the Kazekage about taking up Natsumi's offer, but given where he was now it had to be something to the effect of 'sure'. Possibly much more respectful than that, of course. It had been the Wind Shadow he had been talking to.

In the two months between getting that news and leaving Suna for the next few years, Sarutobi Hiruzen had sent back the missive that held the more personal information about his soon-to-be shishou.

He still cringed over his overreaction, now that Natsumi-shishou herself had explained it in full to him.

Leaf ninja were weird, for sure.

It still had an element to truth to it, in all her technical relations. Even if it was _officially_ legal jargon put into place to protect orphaned Konoha shinobi and something that she had done nothing about fixing to help a civilian woman that married her old kenjutsu master.

Shishou got away with being flippant to her kage in front of another village's kage, called the wife of her old kenjutsu master mother, and spent a lot of time either teaching a small team of high profile shinobi trainees or visiting other clan compounds. She even called one of her old genin teammates, who had been another orphan like she had been, brother. Little brother, maybe, but Namikaze Minato tolerated it well enough and teased her back about brash older sisters.

Jiraiya the Toad Sage even dropped by the Nara compound once so far, and spent a day with all three other fūinjutsu users in Konohagakure dissecting seals he had picked up near the Kiri border. He was allowed to sit in the corner with his own calligraphy work and listen in to the four of them pick other fūinjutsu users' works apart. And listen to them snickering at the pathetic attempts Mist had put into learning the art, though it was still informative for his ongoing lessons in reading other users' seals and how they worked.

The whole day apparently had no other function than allowing all four of them to laugh at Kirigakure fūinjutsu users, but it had been interesting.

Komushi's arrival in Konohagakure no Sato in late winter would be one he would never forget.

For one, he traveled here with his kage. Nerve wracking to say the least.

Two, winter in the Land of Fire was a hell of a lot colder than winter in Land of Wind… and wet. Luckily shishou had, very thoughtfully, added a list to one of the Hokage's letters of what he should bring with for surviving a Fire Country winter. Otherwise he would've been freezing more than just his nose off right now when he went outside… and very wet.

Finally, Natsumi-shishou had decided to wait next to him until their kages were done talking and he ended up telling her more about what he thought of his apprenticeship under her than he probably should have.

Then, after telling him passing out at the feet of a foreign kage wasn't very impressive, she blissfully informed everyone that the family tree that technically didn't exist had another branch. As she was now the godmother of the Inuzuka clan head's unborn daughter as well.

That had pretty much set the tone of all Komushi's interactions with his shishou so far.

The kunoichi herself was… unique. Nara Natsumi didn't look like one of the Nara clans' kunoichi.

For one, she was too short. However, if you were _not_ her husband or one of her friends and drew her attention to her height in relation to those around her, she would hurt you. Painfully and creatively.

His hand was still cramping from the calligraphy practice she had forced him into in revenge for accidently pointing it out once. He had only escaped the later suiton jutsu lesson of manipulating water blades by the skin of his teeth, then personally vowed never to bring the subject up again.

She was also more curvy than most of the lean women in the Nara clan. Broad hips and a generous chest, that he knew a few kunoichi back home would _kill_ for, ensured that. Compared to the rest of her clan, his shishou was also a few shades in skin lighter than them. She wasn't pasty white like some Uchiha or Hyūga clan members, or what little of the Aburame clan you could see, but Natsumi-shishou stood out in the clan of shinobi that wouldn't bother to get out of the sun when taking a nap because they were _that_ lazy.

Surprisingly, quite a few of the stereotypes of certain Leaf ninja clans that reached Suna were actually somewhat accurate. Like the Uchiha 'hnn', Hyūga warrior stoicism, and that you never saw an Aburame member without the heavy jacket and thick sunglasses. Komushi didn't know why they were that way, and he didn't think he'd ever get the courage to ask one of them why. The few answers he had gotten so far had been, if not confusing then majorly scarring, more than he wanted to know about Leaf ninja clans as a whole.

He would never look at a Yamanaka clan member the same ever again. No, Komushi _didn't_ want to know how the man had known _exactly_ what he had been thinking even without using one of their mind reading jutsus. To make it all the more confusing yes, _even his shishou_ took _naps during the day_. She _was_ a Nara. Usually only after Shikaku-sama decided to take one and she had the opportunity to curl up with him for it, but still.

Shishou was also a classic kunoichi in that she was healthily pretty. Maybe not a classic beauty like her currently pregnant kunoichi friend Uchiha Mikoto or as strikingly gorgeous like the Whirlpool Princess kunoichi Uzumaki Kushina, but she was easily as eye catching as any kunoichi could effortlessly be. Komushi could easily see why B of Kumo had decided to flirt with her even if she was married and kept reminding him of that fact.

He was pretty sure _nothing_ would come of any shinobi flirting with Natsumi-shishou because she was pretty damn enamored with her husband, if not actually outright in love with him. The first week of his stay in the Nara compound, before he learned better, he had come down the stairs in the early morning only to hear the kunoichi apologizing profusely about three slightly bloody scratches drawn down Shikaku-sama's bare back.

Komushi beat a hurried retreat, but he was pretty sure he also saw teeth marks in his shishou's bare neck and that she was only wearing the man's shirt from the day before as he darted back up the stairs. He was _also_ pretty damn certain the older shinobi had been _laughing at_ _him_ just as much as he was chuckling over his wife's hurried apologies for such a minor injury.

Then, there were her eyes.

No one in Konohagakure cared much for trying to stare down his shishou. There were civilians that flatly refused to meet her eyes when they saw her. Natsumi-shishou told him later they also refused to meet any Uchiha, Hyūga, and Yamanaka clan members' eyes as well, so she was kinda flattered by it.

Honestly, Komushi understood their reluctance.

His shishou's eyes were referred to as ghost eyes around the village. Her left eye was a pale blue, her right a pale green. In his more fanciful moments, he could almost image that two different spirits were looking through her eyes. He had only spoken of that thought once so far in the month he had been studying under her, but the way shishou looked so surprised and then _cackled_ had scared the shit out of him.

Natsumi-shishou wasn't always scary, though.

She could also be very kind, when she had a reason to be. Sarutobi Koichi and his brother Asuma, Senju Nawaki, and Hatake Kakashi all liked to bring their academy homework to the Nara clan compound because Natsumi-shishou would normally take the time to help them out if they just asked. She would also cook for them afternoon snacks, even if it meant shishou, Shikaku-sama, and Komushi had to go out to a restaurant and eat for dinner. She claimed not to like to, but it happened fairly often.

The Akimichi clan _was_ very good at cooking, and did roaring business selling it to the rest of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. They also generously kept turning down Natsumi-shishou's offers to pay for dinner.

It was apparently a perk of being married to the Nara clan head, who was part of the Intelligence geared jōnin team the Akimichi clan head was on and a good friend of the other shinobi. Shikaku-sama just sighed a 'troublesome woman' every time she offered to pay and would usually have to drag his wife out of the restaurants. Usually to the sound of Chouza-sama, and sometimes his girlfriend Momo-san, laughing at all of them.

She also ensured he could keep up with his best friend even though they were currently far apart. The first time Komushi wrote a letter to Sasori and he took it to shishou to be mailed, doing it mostly because she suggested that writing letters wouldn't only improve his calligraphy but keep a record of everything he learned so he could look back at it later when he left Konoha, he almost fainted in shock when she absentmindedly bit open her thumb and slammed the slightly bloody hand on the floorboards.

Kenta-san was very understanding about him almost screaming in his ear, and the big Leopard easily agreed to run missives between Komushi and Sasori… because the large feline was _bored_ and thought he looked funny. Komushi decided then and there Natsumi-shishou's Summons fit her very well.

He had thought any letters would have to go through the bimonthly message runners between their two villages, but this twice a week exchange was so much better.

To the thirty some children of the Nara clan not yet old enough to go to the academy, Natsumi-shishou was the best thing ever. She would listen seriously to all of them, to whatever childish woe or scrape they had, and calmly inform them in terms they understood without being condescending what they could realistically do about it. As to children that generally understood more than Komushi did right off the bat, that kind of respect and understanding was hard to get from adult figures not born to the clan.

To the Nara academy students, shishou was hilarious and effective. Someone that kept their attention when they were bored with the other non-Nara students and schoolwork they already learned long before they decided if they wanted to be ninja or not. She always had something interesting for them to do, and it wasn't the trite and overused 'go play shogi' or 'go take a nap' they normally got from non-clan members.

To the civilian members of the clan, Natsumi-shishou was always interesting and interested in what they were doing. When she went out to check the fences, the wild herb pastures, and look in on the herds of deer the Nara clan kept she always stopped by at least once and talked to them about what was going on. Komushi got to join her once and finished the whole circuit of the Nara clan compound in awe of her conditioning exercises. Shishou didn't just circle the clan's borders, she zigzagged between it all almost nonstop all morning to check everything first then circled around in a spiral to finish her checks on the clan members.

To the Nara shinobi themselves, shishou was a respected and much loved authority figure that they trusted unreservedly to step up and lead when Shikaku-sama was gone on mission.

For an eighteen-and-a-half-year-old kunoichi, Komushi thought that was pretty damn impressive. Natsumi-shishou just blinked and looked at him weird when he said it.

Then he recalled she was a Leaf jōnin and an ANBU captain, who had led that shadowy force in battle for six months against Iwa, and he blushed yet again as shishou laughed at him.

She also knew things Komushi hadn't a clue in hell _how_ she knew, but made a lot of sense when she took the time to explain it. The one time he complained in her hearing about how cold and wet Konohagakure was compared to Sunagakure she had patiently explained that since the Land of Fire had a large body of water to the east in the former Seas of Whirlpool and south in the Land of Waves, every easterly and southern wind was heavy with rainwater and kept Konoha from getting warm enough for his tastes. Southeast was also where the Land of Water was so no wonder, right? Suna not only had Fire Country protecting them from all that, but the mountain ranges to the north and south of Wind kept most of the rain and cool air in Earth and Wave from reaching them in the desert.

Even Shikaku-sama hadn't known that, because he looked up from his paperwork and asked his wife 'really?'

The lengthy discourse on headwinds, pressure fronts, and the other weather related terminology went over Komushi's head. But, apparently, it made sense to the Nara clan head because he nodded thoughtfully along.

She spotted his confused expression before he could hide it, and rolled her mismatched eyes at him. Then explained water was an insulator, which meant it retained the temperature it was exposed to and only slowly lost it to return to a milder temperature. As an example, hot tea and ice only slowly lost their temperatures and returned to room temp when set down on a table. Ice also melted but that was an entire subject matter in itself along with steam. Wind was naturally cold. So water in the sky was colder than the groundwater as in when it rained it got colder, right? So if it keeps raining, and the clouds didn't let in enough sunlight to warm the earth, why was it so surprising it was so cold outside?

That hadn't been the last time Natsumi-shishou made him feel a little slow on the uptake. But then again, most the Nara clan members made Komushi feel more than a little slow and _they_ were the lazy ones.

They had only been talking about the weather that night.

Shishou could also be scarily smart in other ways, especially in fūinjutsu.

While she had been looking over his latest calligraphy examples, he had asked why seals were not just written out in exact instructions if that is what it really was. She had absently replied it was the same thing that was behind hand seals in jutsus; really experienced ninja only needed two or three hand seals for B or A-ranked jutsus and really experienced seal masters only needed two or three kanji or sigils they developed to do the same thing as lines of painstakingly written instruction. Komushi almost smacked himself as he made the connection, and thanked every deity he knew of that shishou probably hadn't recalled _having_ to telling him that since she was more focused in checking his work.

Reading fūinjutsu was another eye opener.

He was currently living in the home Natsumi-shishou made with Shikaku-sama, and it was everywhere he looked. There were the lethal seals on the doorframes and windows, fūinjutsu on the fireplace and kitchen to contain any fires, script work in the bathrooms to contain water, shishou's sigils on the furniture to reinforce their sturdiness, and kanji on the floorboards to keep dirt and water outside. He was only just starting to automatically read them like she wanted him to, picking out this or that in her inked lines that caused it to harden the object it was on or control whatever element and draw on this or that energy to do it all with.

The lethal ones were still scary, they were self-contained and drew the chakra of anyone that touched them to power the burning up Natsumi-shishou wanted them to do. Fascinating, but scary.

Outside the Nara clan head's home, Konohagakure no Sato was littered with carved kanji. Komushi had asked why they were carved and not inked, and shishou smiled sadly and told him it was probably the last major Uzumaki fūinjutsu work left in existence. She wished she knew how to do that too, she liked carving.

That was another thing that endeared his fūinjutsu master to Sasori when he wrote to his friend, she carved wood.

She had a workshop, apparently built on Shikaku-sama's orders as a wedding present for his wife, in the backyard. It was basically a largish shed, littered with shogi and go pieces that most of the Nara clan dropped by to replace theirs with when the original piece was lost or damaged. He was mostly sure there was already at _least_ ten full sets of both games Natsumi-shishou had carved herself floating around the clan.

Currently, his shishou was working on a large rosewood crib for her goddaughter. Which would later turn into a largish bed once her goddaughter was old enough for her littermates.

Inuzukas were… a little feral and fierce. Komushi liked the idea of growing up with a chakra using dog you could fight and spend all your time with, it sounded like a really amazing way to live.

He got to watch shishou make the crib-that-would-turn-into-a-bed from the start; from getting the wood, starting the carving of wolf packs running in spirals up the bars and packs of playful dogs in the head and footboards, to sanding down the planks, before carefully making the joints and sliding most of it together without ever needing the glue other than to reinforce the joints of the beautiful piece of furniture. After it was mostly together, he also got to see her ink on some seals of its' own for strength and durability. It was currently drying from being varnished and sat gleaming in three major pieces, in a place of pride right in the middle of the shop. It apparently still needed a final coat of lacquer before being gifted to the Inuzuka clan alpha.

It was so far his favorite place in Konohagakure. It smelled of wood shavings, glue, and polish; almost like his best friend's puppet workshop without the scent of the plant based oil favored by Suna's puppet masters for moving wooden joints. It was also _dry_ , had to be with all the moisture siphon seals layered into the door to keep the damp winter air from rotting her wood stocks. It was almost like stepping back into Suna, if only a little colder than his home village normally got above ground level, a small piece of home he could go to even if his shishou wasn't there because she understood how he felt.

She never explained why she knew, but he was just happy she wasn't irritated he went in there when she wasn't and couldn't tell him off for touching her almost finished and drying pieces.

The seals in the woodshop was the first kind of fūinjutsu he wanted to learn after explosive seals. Not only would all of Sunagakure's puppet masters kill anyone he wanted in return for a fraction of the script work in his shishou's backyard shed, Komushi figured it was the best possible way to repay his best friend in getting the apprenticeship set up for him. There were seals for seasoning wood; seals to dry newer wood out even if Natsumi-shishou couldn't set them in the sunlight; seals that kept her woods from absorbing water and warping before she could carve them; seals that repelled vermin; seals that strengthened her finished carved pieces; and even a set of seals he knew would keep her finished works from absorbing water later if she didn't varnish them.

There were also signs his shishou was trying to figure out how the Uzumaki clan's carved fūinjutsu worked in the shop. If any of it she tried really worked, Natsumi-shishou hadn't told him about it yet.

By the end of his first month studying fūinjutsu and suiton jutsus under Nara Natsumi, he knew some of what made up his sealing master's personality. You couldn't live with a person in her home for a month without learning a fair bit about them, after all.

The night the Nara couple left him to his own devices for dinner because they were going to the Hatake clan compound for it, as Hatake Sakumo-sama wanted a family meeting so he would know everything that had happened while he was off fighting in the war, he didn't worry when the Nara head and his Lady didn't come back home afterwards. He did make note that she was still officially thought of as a daughter of the Hatake clan by the head of it and was invited to those sorts of things.

The next morning his shishou startled the life out of him by popping up behind him when he was trying to eat breakfast, gave him some more work to do, and left again claiming not to be officially back home until after lunch. Perhaps.

Maybe not even until dinner.

Probably.

 _Something_ like that.

Komushi accepted it easily enough, they were all ninja and sometimes they had to work odd hours. He did appreciate her telling him, though. Instead of hanging around her home without her he took his calligraphy supplies and her seal examples, braved the still forested but very populous village right outside the Nara clan compound's walls, and visited a tea shop his shishou had taken him to once when she wanted something sweet. He spent a relaxing few hours practicing the more tricky kanji, tediously copying some of the harder parts of her seals so he could see it better, and eating some of the less-than-perfect dango Konoha made compared to his home village.

Mid-morning, about when his second teapot was cool enough to drink his tea and not just sip, a rumor floated around the civilians that Sakumo-sama was seen on his way to storming the Hokage's Tower with his wife, son, and the Nara couple that led that clan in tow.

He almost drowned in his tea.

Natsumi-shishou had a very… _strange_ sense of humor. He thought she was going on mission, not inciting a riot today.

It turned out Komushi was wrong about that, yet again. Because just before lunch the news of _what_ Sakumo-sama stormed the Tower about got around to a lowly Sand chūnin apprentice diligently but uneasily working and sitting in a tea shop… and shishou's very patient explanation of _everything_ the Konohagakure no Sato shinobi academy was for.

No wonder all Leaf ninja were weird. They started early at the academy and just got weirder as they got better as shinobi.

He could easily see his shishou waging war with the academy-sensei using the students as soldiers. It sounded like something she would find amusing.

Komushi sighed after listening to the last of the gossip he would probably be able to overhear and packed his calligraphy supplies away. He should go see his shishou to ensure she didn't have anything else for him today or she'd turn that sense of humor on him.

\V/

If you had told Hatake Sakumo ten years ago that he'd have a daughter about fifteen years younger than him in said decade, he would've suggested you get your head checked by a Yamanaka.

More fool him, as after everything was said and done he did in fact have a daughter just under fifteen years younger than him.

Mesuji Natsumi, as an academy trainee, was a quiet little girl. Quietly watchful, somewhat tolerant of others, intuitively brilliant, and oddly spiritual-heavy chakra composition. That was what he had been told when ANBU captain Wolf went to scope out his possible future ANBU candidate during her second year of the academy.

The eyes were concealable, had been his first thought on seeing her.

Then he watched her interact with her little group of friends.

Natsumi hadn't been nearly as quiet or tolerant as he'd been told with her friends. She cracked bad jokes, bitterly pointed out the reasoning behind many of the academy practices the Nara and Yamanaka she knew hadn't yet seen for themselves, and sometimes she just didn't fit in with her little group so she distanced herself slightly until she did.

The bitterness could've come from _being_ intuitively brilliant and seeing that no one else could see what she did yet and repeated failures to get that across to her fellow children. The fitting in… well, she was an orphan that probably hadn't had much time to herself or any friends to know _how_ to yet. She had adored her fellow orphan Namikaze, let him get away with a lot of things with her that she would scathingly cut others down from trying so it was a good theory.

The bad jokes? Wolf had decided to forgive her that one. _He_ didn't want to know why she did that, they were _horrible_.

He would later wish she'd go back to the horrible jokes and stop with the perverted ones. _Especially_ when she was near a certain blonde sannin and medic-nin.

Wolf agreed that taking her out of the academy a little early wouldn't hurt her fitting in problem, it would probably actually help a little. Natsumi was very mature for her age, even compared with the Nara heir or the older genin she knew. So he arranged for her final ANBU test halfway through her third year.

She passed with flying colors.

Even more interesting, she actually knew how to use Killing Intent at that age. She turned it on him in the split second she thought he was actually a threat to her little friends.

She _was_ intuitively brilliant, so he wasn't surprised she figured out how to use it like a weapon before most ninja usually did.

Wolf-taicho's one regret about Panther's initial ANBU career was that he didn't drag the girl straight to the hospital when she just kept getting _thinner_. They were fighting in the last days of the Second Great Shinobi War, true, but there hadn't been any other signs that something was wrong with the tiny assassin other than the steady loss of weight until she was almost skeletal looking.

Unlike what Senju Tsunade-sama thought of him at the time, he _had_ watched her food intake and fussed after Panther to eat more. She had been eating just as much and sometimes more than normal genin did, but she had still lost weight under his watchful eye.

The reason Wolf never got up the courage to do so was because he was afraid the girl was dying due to some kind of terminal illness they wouldn't be able to do anything about. He wouldn't wish that death on Iwa-nin even now, much less a good little kunoichi like her. If that was what she was losing weight from, all the medics would be able to do about it was confine her to a hospital bed until the end.

She had been a good squad member, replacing the fallen ANBU Rooster and keeping up with the rest of his two squads as well as she could. The kinjutsu they had originally thought was a genjutsu had been _hilarious_ , especially after he got who she had tested it out on from Panther. Wolf really should've realized it hadn't been a genjutsu himself, as you couldn't remove it like a normal one. He even forgave her for making him run into a wall the one time she accidently used it on him, as the damned tricky thing really was almost _too_ useful in their line of work.

Then the Second War ended and in the furor over the attempted abduction of the Uzumaki brat, he handed over his little assassin to his best friend Jiraiya. Making some noise about teaching her kenjutsu even if it was a desperate kind of bargain he had going on with the kami for her continued health. He had been hoping the Toad Sage, and by association the Slug Princess, would be able to help Panther when he couldn't.

He hadn't even batted an eye over Natsumi's mad dash after his best friend's own apprentice with only a half-assed site-rep given to ANBU gate guards on their way out. He already knew she loved her fellow orphaned brat. Wolf and the rest of his pack had trained her well, so he also knew she and the other brats would be fine after it was over.

Sakumo kept checking up on the girl with Horse afterwards, who shared his concern over the little assassin's health. She _had_ started gaining weight, but so slowly to the point even Jiraiya was starting to wonder _what_ was wrong with her. Sakumo silently questioned if whatever illness she had was in recession or if it was something else.

Turns out, it was something else. Sakumo found that something else after the outcry over her assassination jutsu went around the village.

Brilliantly intuitive Natsumi may be, but she could and did miss some things. Like chakra augmentation in shinobi life. To be fair he _had_ pulled her out of the academy before they went over that subject, and she had held a viable theory about how ninja life could go without it. Still, she missed _that_ completely by a mile.

She had looked so embarrassed after realizing it herself he couldn't even get mad at her for unknowingly worrying him almost to death.

All the work she had put into chakra control the months leading up to their little run around Fire Country had paid off, fixing the odd issue of her inability to use normal jutsus and giving him time to reacquaint himself with Natsumi the genin and not Panther the assassin. It also let him gauge how much conditioning he would need to add to her own exercises in order to _really_ start teaching her kenjutsu. Imaging his surprise when he hadn't needed to do anything about her muscle tone, she had been working on it for years and her problem from ANBU had toughened her up even more.

Natsumi the genin went off to Suna for her chūnin exam with the rest of Jiraiya's team, looking a little pale and shaky but the Toad Sage had informed him he knew what was wrong and was fixing that.

She came back to Konohagakure no Sato a newly promoted chūnin and a little tanner, leniently listening to Namikaze jabber on about beating her in the semi-finals… and slightly perverted verbally, but at first he wrote that off from being in Jiraiya's presence too much.

He kept forgetting to try and fix that. There had always been something more important or immediate than her _odd_ sense of humor to work on.

Then he found out he was going to be a father. Neko-chan hadn't been the only one of his colleagues to laugh themselves silly over that, he chuckled too after the shock wore off.

Like Natsumi had said; it was something everyone expected out of Jiraiya, not him.

If he _had_ to knock up any of the women he had ever known, Yamamoto Eri was the best possible choice. She might have been a civilian, but she was still sweet in a way most kunoichi hone to razor sharp lures for their own ends. Like any civilian though, she didn't really know how to deal suddenly living with a _live_ shinobi at first.

To make it worse, she asked him about it since he was the ninja she was trying to make a home with.

Sakumo _really_ didn't know how to explain it, he lived with the issues in question since he could remember and accepted it as normal. Trying to figure out _what_ he should tell the mother of his unborn son about her questions almost panicked him at first. He hadn't really _had_ any desire to start a family until she told him she was pregnant, but once he was used to the idea he _really_ wanted to keep Eri around and have that family. How was he going to do that if he couldn't explain things to her when she wanted to know?

Then Natsumi kicked him in the shin under the table to keep him silent and explained in terms Eri understood _why_ certain things ninja did worked in the way they did.

After the first time, which had been how shinobi can tell time if they hated noisy clockwork, he directed all ninja related questions to his kenjutsu student. All the while thanking the _kami_ for whichever of her friends was actually slow enough to require that level of explanation and gave Natsumi the experience to do it.

It might have been a copout, and the little assassin had pulled more than her fair share of dango money out of him in payment, but it worked.

Screw Jiraiya laughing at him, Eri was happy with it so the arrangement stayed.

His goodwill to his student had been strained a bit when the teenager told Tsunade-sama about the pregnancy of his fiancée. After _all_ the possible complications clan ninja sired children could have caused the mother was explained to him in full _gory_ detail; he realized Natsumi had just been doing what any kunoichi would've done. Ensuring a shinobi's lack of knowledge about the secrets of the female form didn't kill someone, _especially_ the civilians.

Sakumo had sheepishly apologized for getting mad with her, but Natsumi just smirked and demanded her dango money. Claiming that the deal worked both ways, and he could be stupid just as easily as Eri could be confused.

He _had_ paid the cheeky little brat for it, too.

Holding his newborn son had been the best moment of his life so far. Natsumi had come home from her mission just in time to be there with them and be the third person to hold baby Kakashi. She also told him about the little nickname she made for herself accidentally and her two new clan friends. She apparently had a bit of a hobby in collecting heirs to shinobi clans in her spare time.

Then Iwa tried to kill Eri and newborn Kakashi when he had left for a short mission for Konoha. Sakumo had been _pissed_ when he reached the outer edge of the clan compound district and felt Natsumi's spiritually tainted chakra flair up in an emergency ANBU signal pattern. He killed one of the assassins in his way in a mad rush to ensure his wife, son, and student were alright, not even realizing it was the last attacker in the house.

Natsumi, fine other than some lopsidedly shorn hair and blood he wouldn't learn until later was _not_ hers, standing in front on his terrified wife and baby son with her sword at his throat had probably been one of the best and most terrifying things he had ever seen in his whole life.

She hadn't even cared about her shorter hair or the blood, other than a girly ' _eww_ , I'm _covered_ in it' moment later on. Natsumi had just wanted Eri and Kakashi to be alright.

Once Sakumo had visually checked on his wife and son, he and neko-chan went hunting just like old times in ANBU. That was the point he realized it was rather sad an almost thirty-year-old shinobi knew of old times with a fourteen-year-old kunoichi helping him out.

Jiraiya was never told of that realization.

The day after, around the time Natsumi grasped exactly what she had done that his wife now knew about, Eri proved how awe-inspiring she really was. Before little neko-chan could start panicking about whether or not the mother of his son was going to have anything to do with her now that she killed almost in front of her _and_ her baby son, Eri hugged the younger assassin and thanked her for keeping them all alive.

Sakumo was pretty sure that was the point both he and his student decided they loved the civilian woman.

A week later, when the Nara brat got off his ass and asked his long-time crush to marry him with a _lot_ of prompting from his mother and best friend; Sakumo had been initially concerned Natsumi just _really_ wanted a family of her own and had agreed to the first person to ask her. He had known the Nara heir had been enamored with his little assassin's brilliant intuition and that the arrangement would probably go over well with the clan in question, but Shikaku's _protective_ reaction to the gentle teasing he gave Natsumi reassured him the most that it would be a good marriage for her.

The fact she hadn't even realized she _needed_ his permission to marry the Nara brat had been icing on the cake, as it meant she really wanted his _personal_ approval for the match.

She came back later that same day and the two of them discussed the laws in place for orphans, shinobi masters, and jōnin-sensei. They both decided not to do anything about it, just in case. Later on Sakumo would realize he completely forgot that she never broke up the legal mess that claimed she was a daughter of the Hatake clan, of him and of Jiraiya of the Sannin, and was marrying the eventual head of the Nara clan.

The end results of that really _had_ been for the best.

It wasn't long after that he realized he was running out of both things to teach her and reasons to keep her around the house guarding Eri and Kakashi when he couldn't be there.

Jiraiya's easy suggestion of simply _asking_ her to keep on with guarding his family meshed very well with the sannin telling his brats about chakra expansion exercises for getting enough chakra reserves for Summoning Contracts. So that all worked out itself.

For the next two years, even beyond the chakra expanding exercise and finally getting her Summoning Contract however ironic it had been, he left Konohagakure for mission work with the reassuring thought that neko-chan was guarding his family. And if she couldn't due to her mission work, she usually blackmailed her fellow orphan Namikaze or another of her little friends to do it for her.

By the time Natsumi _finally_ decided to try for jōnin at sixteen, Sakumo gave up the pretense of a kenjutsu apprenticeship and just gave the kunoichi her own sword. There really hadn't been any reason to drag it out like he did, but kenjutsu practice with her was _fun_. And Eri liked to watch them practice, but Kakashi had just liked the sound of their swords clashing.

He later listened to her panic and get pissed off when someone scarred her soon to be husband's face. He talked her down from hunting down which village the idiot had come from and sabotaging them all without mercy _or_ pay. And he internally sighed in relief that she really did seem to like young Shikaku as more than just a friend. She had put in a lot of work ensuring his happiness, the least he could do was return the favor.

When the assassin had quietly, at first, approached him and Eri about standing in for her dead and gone parents for her upcoming wedding he finally admitted, if only to himself, that he saw her as a daughter. Eri probably agreed since she cried buckets at the wedding. Giving her away to Shikaku shortly after that realization had almost been heartbreaking.

Then Iwa _and_ Kumo tried to kill Natsumi. Probably for foiling the Uzumaki kidnapping attempt at genin rank and saving Eri's life at chūnin. Regardless, he got _pissed_ all over again with Rock and picked up neko-chan's usual ANBU work for both countries. She might have gotten a promotion to captain for surviving the attempt, but he had some pent up aggression to work out on the poor saps he ran across.

Once she was on the mend, he ran into some major trouble with Eri. Kakashi had picked up one of the kunai he had been sharpening and he had taught his son the correct way to handle them when giving them to another shinobi. Eri hadn't liked it, had been unreasonably pissed off with him and wouldn't let him explain. _He_ had been mad at his own wife until neko-chan got the civilian woman to _tell_ her what was wrong and Sakumo realized what Eri was so afraid of as he listened in. All the while he was doing that Shikaku had covered the conversation front for him, getting Kakashi in the act so they weren't caught at eavesdropping.

After he smoothed _that_ problem over with his wife he bought the Leopard Summoner more dango than she could eat at in one sitting. Natsumi _still_ smirked when that little deal between them was brought up.

The Third War broke out between Konoha and Iwa all because Rock kept trying to pick a fight, and Sakumo was darkly satisfied with it. If they were going to go to war it might as well be with the assholes that tried to kill his little family off. They had terrified Eri, tried to kill baby Kakashi, and forced Natsumi to figure out that she _hated_ being majorly injured. A clean break of the thigh bone or not, she had been limping around in pain for _months_. He had volunteered to lead the charge across Kusa with Jiraiya for all that.

Sakumo was sure a lot of the citizens of Konohagakure no Sato thought he didn't know what his little neko-chan got up to when out of his sight. That was ridiculous seeing as the two of them had Summoning Contracts and he helped train her as a ninja while she grew up, almost from the very beginning of her kunoichi career when he caught sight of her at age nine.

He had known perfectly well that _something_ at the academy had pissed the assassin right off, but she was content to wait for him to come home so she could explain to him what it was before getting his help in fixing it. That was what she wrote to him almost the same day she found whatever little problem, and he trusted her to state if it was something she couldn't handle alone and needed his help with. He did laugh over her plans to wage a small scaled war with the academy instructors for irritating her until he got home.

After the push through Grass to the very borders of the Land of Earth was done and Natsumi offered some priceless knowledge in exchange for Suna's help, they took that offer up and the _technical_ family tree joke started circling Konoha. It had eventually resulted in the Sand chūnin that was now currently living with the kunoichi that he thought of as his daughter and her husband. But Sunagakure's help also caused the first third of the jōnin shinobi sent out in shifts to Kusa being pulled back so another third could go out and start prepping for the fighting in Earth proper to start in spring.

Then Sakumo finally got the time and space to hear what was going on with the academy and a few other things.

He also knew before he left to start Konoha's aggressive push to Earth that Natsumi thought of him like a father figure. During one of his breaks near the end of his deployment when she had to sit everyone down and explain how the legalities of it all had gotten tangled up with her and _finally_ admitted to Eri she saw her as a mother, he almost joined Shikaku and Kushina in laughing at the poor kunoichi. Natsumi could be bold and brash usually, but she was very introverted when it came to relationships and what others meant to her personally. But mostly, he was just relieved that Eri hadn't been that mad at him for forgetting to tell her about the legal side of all Natsumi's help.

By then Eri had already told him of her difficulties with the ninja school, and he really _was_ appreciative of neko-chan stepping in to help his wife out. But he knew it wasn't the end of it, Natsumi wouldn't have gotten so pissed about it if that was it. So once things calmed down slightly he called his entire family together to get the whole story.

Listening to the full problem had been _surreal_. Sakumo knew Natsumi was brilliantly intuitive, had known it for years. _H_ _earing_ about it, all laid out in black and white so even Eri could understand all that neko-chan could see and the relations they would have with this or that issue and how it branched out from there, had been a bit… painful.

'Theoretical Kakashi' had been cute, up until the assassin got into what kind of ninja work he would be allowed at his too early age.

Sakumo could easily see it, and from the look on his son's face so could he. That kind of sporadic lifestyle, with it's jerky stops and starts from one rank to the next, would've made Kakashi _miserable_.

He resolved to buy the young woman all the dango she would ever want for the rest of her life. He didn't say it verbally, because he knew he had a year of freeloading already coming when it came to Natsumi's sweet tooth. From the discussion of orphan family relations and their sensei/shishou guardianships and technical adoptions that happened only a month before, and he used her as an excuse not to sleep on the couch for a week.

His one spot of amusement that night was watching the dawning recognition on Shikaku's face about _exactly_ how far his wife could see. He had known for years, but now he was going to get bragging rights.

Sakumo sent everyone to bed shortly after that, as it had gotten rather late when everything the assassin knew about the academy was laid out for him. He got another fond moment when Natsumi silently obeyed him and just tugged Shikaku up to her own bedroom in the house. She had a room right next to Kakashi, left over from her kenjutsu apprenticeship and from guarding his family while he was gone. He and Eri had _still_ done nothing about turning it into a guest room now that she was married and no longer partly living with them.

His still mostly civilian thinking wife had nearly been in tears when he got to their room, _aghast_ that she nearly did that to Kakashi. Sakumo spent the better part of an hour reassuring her that neither he nor Natsumi blamed her. That was _why_ neko-chan was still technically a daughter of the clan, so she could rely on the assassin for help with these kinds of things.

Admittedly it was a bigger something than they had in mind at the time, but still.

The next morning, when Natsumi was off taking care of her little Sand puppy of a student, he called down and let slip to a few of the village-wide roving ANBU patrols _what_ he was going to bring up to the Hokage. Then hinted that they should _really_ get a good seat for it.

The network of gossip running off ninja speed took care of the rest. There had even been civilian families that were well connected in the crowd that gathered to hear all about the academy and what the Nara clan's Lady was doing to it.

When he barged into Sarutobi Hiruzen's meeting with the Village Elders there had been a good sized group gathered to hear _everything_.

Hiruzen had _known_ Sakumo had been on the way and _exactly_ what topic the retired ANBU captain wanted to raise, as that had been the point of telling ANBU all about it _before_ leaving the compound. Watching the older shinobi's expression as Natsumi spilled the full problem out, everything and more they had gone over last night including 'theoretical Kakashi', had been another of those gleeful moments he knew he was going to get to brag about later.

Then the silly kunoichi's voice cracked on something as ludicrous as defending the same chūnins that pissed her off. Sakumo wasn't at all pleased with her hurting herself like that, but he _was_ proud of the way his fellow Konoha ninja jumped to his technical daughter's aid.

Shikaku picked up the conversation for her and continued with her silent agreement, proving that he really _was_ a good husband to his little neko-chan.

Hiruzen's parting shot to Natsumi had made Sakumo grin all over again. Instructional guerrilla warfare _indeed_.

He knew the Nara clan was going to be slightly smug over the whole thing, but everyone else really had it coming. Sakumo had heard the 'crazy Nara Lady' story floating around the village, and this way they would be forced to eat their words.

Natsumi might be married, but he was still her father figure and interested in defending her honor and reputation.

Sakumo was going to force his more intolerant fellow citizens of the Leaf to _see_ where they were wrong about the assassin he owed far more of his family's happiness to than he could possibly repay her for.

Even in her favorite flavor of dango.

Starting with the academy instructors that more than likely spread the crazy story about.

If Natsumi wanted to tag along and watch him do it, he wasn't showing off for his eldest daughter. He… _well_ …

Okay, he might be showing off for her. Neko-chan was a bit of a daddy's girl.

He would prove to everyone that thought differently at the same time that Natsumi was just as much of a Nara as the rest of her husband's clan. She was just her _own_ type of Nara.

He'd known it all along, too.

\V/

Namikaze Minato would fully admit he was an insanely lucky shinobi.

For one, way back when he and his friends had been simple academy trainees, he managed to get _clan heirs_ to listen to him and agree to join up with him for his academy leadership test. From the Uchiha heir two years above him to the Nara, Akimichi, and Yamanaka heirs in his own year. All on his own. As a clan-less orphan they didn't _have_ to listen to. He was _still_ impressed with himself for that a decade later.

Secondly, he approached a girl with strange eyes that also lived in the same orphanage with him to teach him some of the impressive taijutsu she was known for in the practice yard… or at least give him some tips.

Somehow had the guts to stay in place as she thought about it.

He had almost keeled over in shock when the girl finally explained what he should work on and invited him to join her. With the added promise of sparring if he kept up well enough.

Then he scraped together the resolve to continue with her exercises until it turned into sparing practice, then to muscle conditioning, then to polishing his taijutsu. Minato honestly didn't know where that had come from, as all he really could remember from the first few times was that it _hurt_.

That had paid off in dividends, in more ways that he realized at the time.

The first time was when the academy-sensei noted his improvement, remarking about how impressive it was he had done it with only the academy taught style under his belt.

The second was when some of the more annoying fangirls that started squealing early decided to corner him next to his friends when they had been discussing the strangely eyed girl herself.

Which was when Natsumi-sempai proved herself to be a whole lot _scarier_ than any _mere_ fangirl. She could be very, _very_ forceful in a way that _commanded_ automatic respect from those that did not have enough faith in themselves and what they were doing.

She had pretty much arrested the attention of a whole room, cut the shallow attempt at bullying her to bits with a few words, and dismissed the two girls as too irrelevant to be threats in a few short sentences.

Catching and holding fast the attention of the rest of Minato's friends at the same time.

Sempai had not been enthused with the idea at first, but she tolerated him dragging her along sometimes when he went to meet up with his friends. She even joined them of her own free will a few more times, sarcastic and biting as well as being a little awkward in the beginning but willing to explain things if they only just asked her… or if they whined about it too much for her to stand it, but that had been par for the course with her.

Then Shikaku started wondering about how she knew it all, and Inoichi started thinking she might have been a spy from another village. The others chipped in with their own theories, and it hadn't gotten any better from there. The topic came up a lot for almost a week until something was decided on what they should do about it.

Minato let himself silently question the girl that hadn't _had_ to do any of the things she did for him or the others but did anyways.

They plotted, they planned, and then they fucked it all up in one day. Natsumi-sempai came along anyways because she was getting overly stressed with trying to live with the suspicion they heaped on her.

She very bluntly told them _how_ she knew those things.

The sucker punch to the gut didn't come until Inoichi told them _yes, she_ was _about thirty years old mentally_ … and had died once before. _Horrifically_.

Natsumi-sempai had been so stressed and guilty and just so _tired_ that she _hadn't even believed_ the Yamanaka heir at first when he told her she was perfectly sane. Just _really_ depressed.

Something that Inoichi then rattled off about her state of mind sparked something in the girl-woman's eyes, pouring some steel back into her spine. Then she huffed a breath and told them she'd be fine, amending after a moment and Minato's first attempt at a stern look that Inoichi would help her see to that.

Inoichi hadn't completely believed her, had set up nearly weekly therapy sessions to ensure she _would_ get better. Minato was left in charge of ensuring she went, something he never allowed her to skip because he had been dreadfully mortified about how he had treated her. Even if it _had_ only been in his head.

Then the day they pried _exactly_ how she died and who died with her, and what they meant to her, out of her mouth came around.

Sempai hadn't wanted to do it, and it had taken nearly all the friends Inoichi and Minato could scrape together on short notice to force her because the Yamanaka heir said it was important for her to do it. When she gave in she got her revenge, she told them in _brutally_ exquisite detail how it happened.

Inoichi was almost shell-shocked, Minato actually lost his lunch, the Hyūga twins looked two seconds away from the same thing, and Shikaku had looked unsettled enough he wouldn't try napping for fear of nightmares. After fifteen minutes of complete and total silence, his sempai had apologized in an almost dead tone of voice and begged off any further therapy for the day.

They agreed, but wouldn't leave her alone. It raised a rare, _genuine_ small smile from her. The first sign Minato spotted that the therapy really was helping her.

Before they left for the night, Inoichi drew them all to the side and explained _why_ they had to do that to Natsumi-sempai. _'It's like drawing poison.'_ She had to admit it so she could heal from it.

Minato told his fellow blond what he had seen on the girl-woman's lips. Shikaku informed them she responded verbally slightly more than before. The Hyūga twins added she actually twitched to the current speaker and listened instead of just sitting there. Inoichi just nodded and said _'See? I told you, she's healing now.'_

Healing or not, it was only a few months later that Minato realized they all had been _very_ lucky that Natsumi-sempai hadn't tried her upmost to kill them for it. She had only been trying to get away.

She probably _could_ have killed them. Natsumi-sempai probably wouldn't have gotten away with it, but that wouldn't have helped them if she had snapped and murdered them all. She had known how to kill with her bare hands even at that false age, and even together they probably wouldn't have gotten away without casualties.

It was the second thing he realized what his sparring with her had done, but the _full_ consequences hadn't come to his attention until years later. Natsumi-sempai thought of him as not only a fellow student, but of a fellow if younger soldier. She tightly leashed any violence in his direction unless she _knew_ he would survive it. Like nearly obsessive dodge training once they started to get into the really dangerous parts of ninja life, because she wanted them to be able to realize when someone was trying to kill them.

Inoichi started putting the reincarnated soldier back to working order after that, bit by painstaking bit until all the broken parts to her started to fit back together and make a whole person.

Natsumi-sempai then became more than Minato's taijutsu coach, she started advising the rest of them. With thirty years of life experience already and at least a decade of combat experience to draw from, she had been practically the best military advisor they could have asked for. Even the older heirs, a year or two above them in the academy, went to her for help. She could help them without sounding condescending about it. Because Minato had asked for her help, Natsumi-sempai thought of them like her fellow soldiers she was helping to learn the leadership skills she already had.

Minato's sempai came more alive in front of him as time when on, and he watched her start reacting to other things than just him.

The third thing came to light when she got _protective_ of him. From fan girls to Kumo-nin he had technically sought out himself. She broke that Cloud ninja's _spine_ for it, too.

Inoichi realized what had happened shortly after Natsumi-sempai lost her ANBU rank and got sorted on their team, and had been curiously unconcerned by losing her long sought after goal. Minato's fellow blond drew him aside and told him about living anchors for other people's sanity.

More specifically, that he was Natsumi-sempai's anchor. _The only one she had_.

Turns out Jiraiya-sensei had overheard that discussion, and the white haired sannin told them not to worry about it for a few more years as he was working on another anchor for her.

Jiraiya-sensei was probably the best adult shinobi the group could have told, because the man had already been in the thick of things in helping Natsumi-sempai be more than just a once dead soldier and become an even better kunoichi. He also helped Inoichi by getting information Minato's sempai wouldn't tell a ten year old boy, things that made the blonds turn a little green but needed to help Natsumi-sempai.

He also muttered darkly about 'pedophiles' under his breath before leaving them to it, but Minato hadn't understood at the time.

Once he did, he spent a moment wishing his fūinjutsu master would be a little _less_ perverted. But realized almost as soon as he wished it that Jiraiya-sensei could have been worse than just perverted. Then _that_ something worse could have spread to his sempai. Which was still a scary thought, really.

As it turned out, Jiraiya-sensei's solution was placing her back with her ANBU captain for a kenjutsu apprenticeship once they hit chūnin. Minato had been confused at first, but then realize Hatake Sakumo cared for the little assassin he had helped train for ANBU even without understanding how fractured she had once been. He had also provided a kind of family for her not long after, in his pregnant girlfriend, unborn son, and himself. Making all three of them more anchors for Natsumi-sempai.

Inoichi heaved a sigh of relief and left her to the last bit of healing she needed. Leaving Minato strict instructions to get him _immediately_ if there was any question of Natsumi-sempai's sanity in future years. The Yamanaka heir claimed he had poured far too much time and effort into her to let someone come along later and ruin that.

Minato then took a step back and watched with more than a little bemusement as the assassin circled around their group of friends but always came back to him at the end. Almost like she couldn't stand going without checking up on him whenever she could.

The fourth thing that came from that hazy day near the beginning of the academy was that sempai cared for his wellbeing and of his opinion. Almost just like an older sibling.

He didn't mind, because he wasn't entirely sure how he would have survived without her practical advice on how to survive without a sensei standing over his shoulder making sure he at least did his laundry every week and ate more than once every two days. Natsumi-sempai helped him and Kushina out, taught them what they needed to know, and was always somewhere nearby when they ran into trouble they couldn't figure out themselves.

Besides being practical and a _very_ good cook, Minato's sempai also started reaching out in other ways. Not just to those that knew her and her past problems, she gave them bits and pieces of her old life they would find either interesting or helpful, but her fellow ninja that would probably never be told of what she had once been. Inuzuka Tsume and Aburame Shibi had been older, but they had been good friends to his sempai after she helped them out a little.

Sempai initially helped them without his prompting her to. _That_ had been a good day.

Then Shikaku proposed. Minato almost _murdered_ him for it.

Natsumi-sempai had been _stable_. She could put the broken remains of her last life behind and interact _fully_ with this one, and the other teenager had thrown all that off-kilter with _one_ conversation. Sempai had been completely befuddled and a little dazed when she brought Shikaku to him for his approval.

The Nara heir had to do a fair bit of fast talking when Natsumi-sempai left the chūnin's apartment at his bidding. But the whole story had at least made the fūinjutsu user pause a little in his homicidal advance on the tanned teenager.

Shikaku had been watching her ever since the camping trip in his backyard. Even before that, really. He'd also been the one to keep the others from crowding sempai before she could deal with it. From setting back Inoichi's work in the delicate states when the others wanted to be well meaning but intrusive.

Because there was no one better at fixing minds than a Yamanaka, and Inoichi was in a class of his own even in his clan _that_ far back.

Natsumi knew things, sometimes things that are not taught _anywhere_. How better to protect her than with the Nara clan name, since _everyone_ knew Naras knew more than they let on. Shikaku also knew _Natsumi-sempai_ , of her history and the really bad parts they had struggled with making her see beyond. He knew what problems Inoichi hadn't been able to fix yet, and he knew the things she would probably be horribly uncomfortable trying to tell anyone she tried to date later on.

Uncomfortable things that might get her reported as insane if a future boyfriend took it all the wrong way.

Who else would Minato feel comfortable letting his Natsumi-sempai go off to?

The question earned Shikaku a stay of execution until Minato could talk to both Inoichi and Natsumi-sempai herself about it.

Inoichi had looked a bit uncomfortable, but informed his fellow blond that keeping her to their little circle of in the know shinobi was probably for the best. Shikaku wasn't only smart enough to keep up with a kunoichi almost thirty years older mentally, but could keep a close watch for any future problems. He also admitted his fellow clan heir had a point about the Nara thing.

Minato hadn't thought about how guilty his fellow blond had looked until much later the same day and he heard an offhand comment from Kushina. He took his pound of flesh from the mind walker in revenge for not telling him straight away what the other kunoichi had put him up to. After that spar he thought about it a bit more, and decided Inoichi had been right in a way.

Natsumi-sempai looked a little more hopeful about her life, and he couldn't bring himself to ruin that by asking if she was sure about all of it.

Jiraiya-sensei hadn't been so dismissive of Natsumi-sempai's emotional stability, and had talked to her about it while Minato had been preparing to show off his fūinjutsu skills with Kushina.

Then, after he got praise from his fūinjutsu master and _admiration_ from his own sempai for his version of the hiraishin, the sannin snagged the boys in question for a little _talk_.

Having Jiraiya the Toad Sage _pissed_ at them and _demanding_ their reasoning behind Natsumi-sempai's betrothal had been one of the scariest moments of Minato's life. One of the proudest too. He had known his sealing master was awesome, and the man had proved it again by being so protective of his uniquely gifted sempai.

Inoichi hurriedly spilled the psychology behind it, Shikaku paled and bluntly admitted what he had done, and Minato sighed and told his sensei the rest.

The Yamanaka heir claimed it was for her still shaky view of her place here. Natsumi-sempai might be reaching her own conclusions about where she belonged, but this would give her a boost in what she believed she had the _right_ to do now as a Konoha kunoichi and soon as a Nara one. It would also protect her and her somewhat emotionally fragile state, giving her a firm supporter beyond Minato in Shikaku. And keep her from having to delve back into memories best left forgotten, because Inoichi didn't want her to have to go back and relive how she died once if any future possible husband wanted to know. The Nara heir had been with them the day they pried that out of her, after all. He already knew.

Shikaku wanted to protect her, personally. Minato's Natsumi-sempai was a very unique source of information, and like any Nara knowledge was always interesting to him. The teen then blushed darkly under his tan and wouldn't look at any of them as he went on to admit he thought she was pretty. That it was her ability to _see_ more than any of them that caught his attention. And that she would fit in his clan, unlike most probably wouldn't if they weren't already Nara.

As the white haired sannin was starting to look less pissed and more understanding, Minato filled in the cracks. Of how Natsumi-sempai was starting to look _forward_ to something, of how she slid sideways a little in surprise but adapted almost right away and started showing more affection. Of the slight touches she hadn't done before. Sempai hadn't been _completely_ standoffish before Shikaku proposed, but she was more secure in what she was to others now and starting to show it.

Jiraiya-sensei heaved a sigh and told it from Natsumi-sempai's point of view. Then threatened Shikaku that if that assumption of being married to a friend stayed he would hide the body after Minato killed him. He was good at hiding things.

Minato almost laughed at how pale Shikaku had been as he walked away from that meeting late at night. Sempai even fussed over him for getting sick when he was extra tired the next morning, but that just made it even better for him.

The fifth thing Minato had realized had come from asking his sempai to teach him was that she trusted him. Above and beyond almost everyone else she knew.

Because he asked something of her, she set a goal for him to meet, and he did it. Then he kept up with it.

Even if Natsumi-sempai didn't understand why it was important to Minato that she do a few things, she'd do it anyways and trust there was a reason behind it.

Like run after and engage Kumo ninja just to get Kushina back. But Minato hadn't realized at the time that was what it was.

He did realize it shortly after sempai smacked him upside the head that he liked the red head as more than a friend. And that said red head liked _him_ more than as a friend.

Minato might had wandered around Konohagakure for two days in a daze after that, but it hadn't just been from Kushina agreeing to go on a date with him.

His sempai had lost her ANBU rank for a little while after that incident with Kumo _and she hadn't even cared_. Why? She trusted that it _had_ been that important to him, and paid the consequences unflinchingly because Minato needed her help. It hadn't entirely been that Natsumi-sempai wanted to protect him.

He and Shikaku were still piecing together the sixth thing. But it was already looking totally awesome.

For some reason Natsumi-sempai was drawing things together around Minato and their village. It might be a half-forgotten urge from helping the blond in his academy leadership test, but his sempai was _still_ doing it. The Hyūga cursed seal problem, the Uchiha misconceptions, they were all major things about other clans Natsumi-sempai had started trying to solve because it worried Minato. She even bound the two clan heirs together back when they were academy students to get them to stop fighting so much under Minato's watch. Shikaku might have gotten the jump on his sempai for the Hyūga thing, but looking back the man had claimed he wouldn't have been able to do it without the work she put into the two heirs.

Now it was just on a greater scale than before, and no longer centered on Konohagakure's clan solidarity.

She had a Sunagakure no Sato chūnin fūinjutsu student. Komushi was a bit jumpy personally, almost like a wide-eyed little tadpole, but he faithfully followed every direction sempai gave him and worked hard for her approval. The dark skinned Suna ninja also looked pathetically grateful for any help the other sealing users of Konoha gave him, but shishou-ed Minato's sempai left and right.

Minato had been a little confused, Natsumi-sempai normally didn't talk about her sealing skills without a lot of prompting from those that _already_ knew she could do it. It had been like pulling teeth to get her to add it to her list of skills that Intelligence kept track of which shinobi knew what with. The list the village kept so they knew how many skilled ninja of which shinobi art there were in the village, and how much missions involving them should cost.

Inoichi hadn't even known why she had done that. Shikaku suggested that maybe she just liked to teach.

Jiraiya-sensei told them the social and political side of it.

Most of Sunagakure _loved_ Nara Natsumi _just_ for offering, even if nothing had come from it. Not really the kunoichi herself personally, for all they knew of her was her chakra nature and her skills in fūinjutsu, but the faceless Leaf jōnin that offered to teach one of their own a rare and valuable shinobi art they had no good users of.

The fact that she was in the process of _actually doing so_ bound Suna to Konoha even more firmly than before.

The relations between the two hidden villages had been waning a little, after the Second War Suna didn't really want to get into another possible one so soon. But Sand had sent help to the Leaf ninja fighting Rock at the boarder of Earth anyways.

Right now, it looked like the Village Hidden in the Leaves was repaying that willing assistance, even if the Village Hidden in the Sand _hadn't_ really wanted to get involved, with a priceless apprenticeship in the obscure shinobi art of fūinjutsu. That the Village Hidden in Rock was now getting hammered from both villages because they had the gall to try and pick a fight with Fire Country. The other villages were waiting to see what else happened, because if they did try to get involved it wasn't likely they could wedge something between Leaf and Sand now.

Kumogakure _might_ try something, they already had B flirting with Natsumi-sempai and had an opportunity that way. But it wasn't likely until things got desperate for Iwa, because trying and failing would be catastrophic for both Cloud _and_ Rock. If Kumo tried, succeeding in killing or taking Komushi and sempai respectively would be the only way to win any attempt to get into the war without having two tightly bound villages smashing the hell out of them for it.

Because it was the only likely method any of the other villages could see to break the trust and faith Leaf and Sand shared.

Both Kumo and Iwa had already failed when it came to killing Natsumi-sempai off once already. It wasn't likely a second attempt from each would work when the first time hadn't.

Any attempt at either sabotage or assassination would also be supremely suspicious, seeing as every hidden village knew that.

Jiraiya-sensei had laughed at their dazed looks. He asked them why were they so surprised, didn't they arrange things without her knowing to ensure Natsumi-sempai felt secure in setting herself up like that? In ensuring she _felt_ like a citizen of the Leaf just as much as her fellow shinobi? In encouraging her to trust her fellow ninja to watch her back while she ensured they would have the help they needed in the war?

Wasn't it _awesome_ to _see_ all their hard work pay off _so damn_ well?

Sempai was a kunoichi of Konohagakure now and forever. If she could she _would_ ensure Leaf got the best possible result of everything that might happen.

The seventh thing tied back into the sixth he was still figuring out. But it _proved_ both he and Konoha _were_ incredibly lucky that his sempai had ended up in the Hidden Village of the Leaf, a little damaged mentally and _very_ shocked after her prior death but still _here_.

Natsumi-sempai _was_ older, no matter what age she _looked_ like. So she had been and _still was_ watching out for their future _long_ before Minato and the others thought of their imminent future in more than just of next week.

The academy thing.

Unlike most of his fellow ninja of Konoha, Minato had just _asked_ his sempai what the hell was so wrong with it when he heard about it. She had always answered when they thought to ask her back when they attended the academy together, and a few things wouldn't change no matter how much the person in question did.

She simply told him just as easily as he had asked her.

Minato had laughed over her plans to ensure the next few years wouldn't be totally useless, and gave his approval for waiting until Sakumo came home. Because it _was_ the man's son that brought the problem to his sempai's attention, and he deserved the right to get a few licks in for the attempted murder of his first born son.

Natsumi-sempai had beamed at his approval, hugged him for visiting her, and wandered off to start her guerrilla warfare against the academy instructors.

Minato had spent the time he waited for Sakumo to get home, and _stay_ long enough to hear all about it, chuckling whenever someone asked him to stop his sempai from sabotaging the academy. He wouldn't even explain to his other friends _why_ Natsumi-sempai was doing what she was doing, they needed to learn sempai knew perfectly well what she was doing and hold some more faith in her.

And because none of them thought to just _ask_ her why.

Might have been petty of him, but Minato was damn proud of his sempai for her thoughtfulness and wouldn't ruin her fun.

When the news broke that the silver haired shinobi that headed the Hatake family was storming his way to the Hokage's Tower, Minato knew that all his sempai's planning and plotting had come to a head.

He bolted to the Tower to meet up with her, intending on catching the tail end of the situation and give his sempai a hug because he really _was_ proud of her for all of it.

That she lost her voice during explaining it was a little concerning, but the medic-nin that hovered over her shoulder proved she wouldn't be doing herself any more damage.

A few of the civilians made noise that Natsumi-sempai should go home until she healed up, but the way Minato's sempai snagged hold of Sakumo's sleeve and looked defiant told those that knew her she _wanted_ to see the end of all her hard work.

Shikaku just sighed and told her she was going home right after, no matter what else she wanted to do. A nod from her and after the silver haired shinobi told his wife they would be home later, all the ninja personally involved, or not and just nosy and which pretty much meant the rest of them that didn't have something else to do, headed to the academy.

…only after a few of the more approving shinobi tied up the three academy instructors that had snuck in to hopefully hear the Nara Lady being told off. No reason to warn the idiots, after all.

Minato may or may not have been one of those that did the tying up.

Hey, he was finally allowed to call the misplaced soldier his sister. He was allowed to be a little protective of one of the best things to ever happen to him.

\V/

Jiraiya, after everything behind the little assassin and her strange ghost eyes had been explained to him, knew from the start.

Natsumi had already been attached to Minato when he got ahold of her, perfectly understandable given he treated her _like_ she _was_ older. Hell, she was older than _Jiraiya_ when all was said and done.

The Master Spy of Konohagakure no Sato had seen an opportunity to cement that affection into something more. To give his first student a bodyguard that would willingly lay down her life for him, even if it just made him survive beyond what he could do by himself.

Jiraiya believed Namikaze Minato might be his Child of Prophecy, and that Mesuji Natsumi would be one _hell of a_ razor sharp blade in the shadows for his protection.

Helping his second student in fixing the girl-woman had been interesting. He learned far more of psychology from Inoichi than he could teach the other blond, but it had been worth working with an eleven-year-old kid to fix Natsumi up enough she would pass as sane… - _ish_. Again, Jiraiya couldn't point to any of the really good shinobi he knew of in any hidden village and call them perfectly right in the head either.

Getting to know the woman behind the girl had been as interesting as hell. Natsumi had been well traveled _and_ educated in her last life, and knew an ungodly amount of things that Jiraiya wondered about but didn't think had answers to them.

He had once asked her, idly because he really didn't believe it _had_ an answer at the time, why was the sky blue?

Natsumi told him, with all seriousness, it was the same reason the sea was blue and kind of green and rainbows had all the colors in them. Water just preferred to be blue when reflecting a color in direct light, but had the option of reflecting every color in the rainbow. There was less water in the sky so it wasn't as dark as large bodies of water, and there weren't any plants up there so it wasn't green tinted. When the sunlight reflected off all the water in the air it seemed less like it did at night and more of an optical illusion of a sky blue dome over their heads. Humans could only really see the heavens once the sun went down, after all. The sun was actually less yellow and more orange and a little red too, so that was why sunsets were somewhere in that range, but it was the only time of the day the sun hit the water just right to reflect it's own colors. That's why the sky was blue and not, for instance, purple as a mix of the two main colors instead.

Jiraiya was sure his jaw dropped somewhere around his knees once she was finished talking. He had been insanely lucky the girl-woman hadn't been facing him since he had been listening in on the inane chatter of a few village women bathing in the onsen at the time.

Not that he was sure she would have _cared_ , but he had _his_ ego to protect. That hadn't been the last time it took a beating because he said something stupid and she took him seriously.

That had been around the time he realize she would _always_ know more than anyone else. Her last life had put an emphasis on _knowing_ how and why things happened that she kept hold of in this one.

Like fūinjutsu. Listening to Natsumi force Minato into not just explaining but inherently _knowing_ how certain seals worked and their interactions to her taught Jiraiya more about the basics of seals than a whole year of self-study. He might or might not have nudged and tugged the girl-woman into deciding it might be a good idea to learn a little herself.

He threw himself a mental party when she admitted it to him. Jiraiya _had_ been a bit depressed he couldn't get her to take on the Slugs, but she was right in that they should go to another medic. He was just thankful she shared his feelings on the Snakes, and didn't want them even if they were powerful.

There were a few more bumps and rocks to come up over the years, but Sakumo handled most of it pretty well. Even if the man didn't know a lot about Natsumi's rather unique past.

Iwa trying to kill his best friend's wife and newborn son almost panicked Jiraiya, but then news that Natsumi had been the one to kill two of the three assassins had filtered back and the Toad Sage realized she was doing more than just waiting for her body to catch up with her mind. And that placing her with the other shinobi had actually worked like he assumed on the information Inoichi unwittingly gave him. Natsumi had been protecting Sakumo and his burgeoning family just like she did Minato and the rest of their friends. She had become attached to them too.

Then he almost killed the other boys himself when the betrothal mess, right after the fūinjutsu confession.

Jiraiya had thought, at first, that the Nara brat had let his fascination with Natsumi's mind and the depth of her knowledge get in the way of his developing hormones. He had been _right_ , too, but that hadn't been all of it.

He had to admit that Shikaku was right in that the Nara clan name would protect her from anyone wondering why she knew the little bits and pieces she did. That Inoichi had a point in it giving her some emotional stability and an identity that wasn't just the mutable Leaf kunoichi but a recognizable clan member with responsibilities. And he trusted Minato in his report of how she was adjusting to it.

Watching the Nara brat squirm had been funny as hell, getting him to frankly admit to his little crush on her to them all had been just as entertaining.

Since Natsumi was so important to him, to him _and_ his fūinjutsu student, he darkly promised to hide the body after Minato killed him if Shikaku didn't fix the 'married friends' assumption Natsumi held.

Out about near the Land of Rivers, he found an absolutely hilarious Summoning Contract for the teenager kunoichi assassin that was also a previously dead adult soldier of another world. Since he had already planned on giving Minato the Toad Contract to sign, and he knew Natsumi had never tried to find her own because the method he used gave her the creeps, he brought that one back to Konoha. It had proved exactly how much the reincarnated soldier had improved when she played along and let him make fun of her right in front of her own kouhai without backing off from any perceived censure from a commanding officer. He almost threw Inoichi a party of his own for that.

They hit jōnin while he had been out of the village and Jiraiya _had_ tried to return in time for her wedding, he had. He had poured a lot of effort in polishing up the cracks of her mind up with Inoichi that he was very fond of the woman that resulted of all that work.

But Hiruzen-sensei sent him some news of trouble rising up in Rain and he got delayed checking on his other students.

Jiraiya managed to extract a promise to ensure neko-chan was perfectly alright after the wedding, and spent some time thinking fondly of his old teacher when Natsumi told him about the wedding and the words from their Hokage once he got home. She also looked so absolutely thrilled with her married life that the Toad Sage let Shikaku off the hook.

That had also been after Iwa and Kumo tried to kill her. Jiraiya had already been on his way back to Konoha when the news reached him, and had actually stopped walking and _ran_ the rest of the way back. Sakumo wrangled a promise to watch both neko-chan and his family while he picked up Natsumi's ANBU work, and the sannin agreed just to get the man out of his way to see that the young looking woman was alright.

Natsumi had been fine, if a little in pain, for the most part when he caught up with her about her wedding in her own bedroom.

Jiraiya spent a whole lot of time in the Nara clan compound after that, ensuring her fears about any future war didn't make her slide back mentally because her husband had a mission and couldn't be the one to do it. Around the time she was about clawing her way up the walls from boredom, Minato came back to the village from a diplomatic run to Suna and she escaped her bed to _finally_ get outside for the first time in _weeks_. Shikaku had to be the one to take her back inside once _he_ was home because, injured or not, Natsumi was very good at hiding when she wanted to be.

He stayed in the village that time because it seemed like Iwa wasn't going to let their repeated failures to damage Konoha go. That war Natsumi had been so afraid of starting looked like it might have been inevitable. And Jiraiya agreed with Sakumo that if Konoha did have to go to war, it might as well be with the assholes that tried to kill his best friend's family and a woman he thought of as a niece.

Then the Third War broke out, and Natsumi proved how _breathtakingly_ smooth in military matters she could be once the Leaf ninja reached the border of Earth. Suna wouldn't hear of any wrong doings from Konoha now, and the faltering relations between the two villages had strengthened to the point that even if any of the other villages killed neko-chan's little tadpole of a Suna student Jiraiya was sure the bond would remain.

Explaining it all to Inoichi, Minato, and Shikaku had been hilarious.

 _That_ had been the keen military mind and farseeing mentality Jiraiya wanted to save and restore to working order for Konohagakure's, and Minato's, benefit. And now that it was functioning, he could just step back and admire it at work.

He _knew_ the academy situation was more than it appeared.

He got Sakumo to tell him _what_ neko-chan was doing to it.

Then talked to Natsumi herself about _why_.

Then laughed.

 _Hard_.

Once everyone was back in the village, he had staked out the academy the moment he heard Sakumo was charging old man Hokage's Tower with his family and neko-chan. He even managed to pick up the unnerved Suna chūnin Komushi on his way.

Jiraiya wanted a good seat. And he was feeling generous about little neko-chan's projects coming to fruition that he felt like sharing it with someone.

He hadn't gone to this version of the academy himself, so he hadn't known a fraction of the things the building did for the younger students. Jiraiya had thought the kids had all been pretty good for genin shinobi when he got them. Listening to Natsumi explain had made so much _sense_.

Then again, when Natsumi took the time and explained something you couldn't help but listen and realize it fit.

\V/

Natsumi thought it had been a good couple weeks.

Almost everyone she cared for was finally home in Konohagakure. From Minato to Shibi, they finished the risky part of the rush to Earth through Grass. It wasn't looking likely that any of the other hidden villages wanted in on their little fight, so the _highly_ skilled jōnin third of Konoha's forces were allowed to rest for a few months before heading back out to it again. They had been replaced with a third of newer jōnin and the older ones, for in the field leadership experience.

She checked in with Bear-sama not too long after getting home, and the ANBU General almost smacked her upside the head about her mask. He told her she was now too well known to take advantage of the title change thing, she would be staying Panther because if they gave her another mask it would be defunct in a matter of _weeks_. Probably once she ran into B of Kumo again and tried to shield another agent from view as they retreated due to injury.

Well, now she didn't have a mask. Sasori still had her old one.

After thinking a bit, she recalled Kakashi had made it work with his _bright ass silver hair_ peaking over his own Dog mask in another life. Then she asked Bear why she needed _a_ mask if she was too well known for a _new_ one.

The older shinobi had paused for a whole minuet thinking about that. Then flung a blank feline mask at her head and told her to paint it.

In revenge, Natsumi painted it nearly completely black. Leaving only two curving lines of white on opposite sides of the mask like an inverted mirror version of her old one.

Bear had chucked that one at her head, too.

Her squad took it in stride like the good ANBU agents they were after checking it really was her. There were a couple double takes walking around ANBU HQ, but it had been interesting to see who actually approached her about it and who didn't have the guts to try ensuring an ANBU captain was who their mask… _suggested_ they were.

The ANBU General wanted their mask titles for remedial training in catching infiltrators when he caught up with Panther again before she left HQ for the day.

She got to keep the new mask after everything was over with.

Sarutobi Hiruzen had looked a cross between pained and amused when he saw Panther-taicho next.

Shikaku came across her mask later that week, when checking over the equipment they had taken to Kusa to fight with, and _laughed_.

Natsumi had pouted at them, visibly or not. She _liked_ her new mask.

The news that Sunagakure no Sato _would_ like her to take on one of their chūnins had come at something of a surprise. She really had only made the offer to Sasori to try to draw Suna closer to Konoha just to keep an eye on one of their shinobi, not expecting that the suggestion would be so popular. She had really only wanted to keep an eye on the redheaded puppet master, but hadn't thought the relations between the villages would allow it. Instead she dangled some bait she knew had to be enticing to encourage relations and let her get away with having an ear in Suna, and was totally prepared to wait a year or two for it to come true.

When it had even faster that Minato could teleport from one side of the village to the other, her main thought was _awesome_.

Natsumi did have to explain to Jiraiya that _yes_ , she knew what she was doing. That the apprenticeship _had_ a point to it. She was _not_ that random. Then she let her old genin sensei go and tell her boys, but only if he explained in detail what their faces looked like when they realized the full results of what she had done. She _sniggered_ over it when he came back and told her.

Now she had a student, who was Sasori's best friend and best way to keep an eye on the puppet master.

Komushi himself was kinda funny and a lot of fun to startle. Like a dark furred, little desert kitten pouncing at imaginary prey and looking spooked when he realize someone saw him doing it. He _was_ Sasori's best friend, whatever had killed him before or after the puppet master went rouge the last time had to be either something the redhead did himself or unavoidable. Natsumi could handle that… maybe. She was going to watch him like a hawk, anyways.

She pointedly ignored Shikaku snickering about cats playing with their prey, he picked on her student too.

Yes, she knew about the one morning the first week Komushi stayed with them. Shikaku _knew_ her nails were sharp in the morning, it had totally been his fault he had those scratches. He learned how _not_ to get scratched that bad after the first few times.

Natsumi was being a good little wife and letting Shikaku get his manly urges to claim his territory in the face of an encroaching male out of the way. Especially since Komushi looked to be in love with her little woodworking workshop in the backyard shed, for whatever reason beyond it feeling as dry as Suna.

She would have probably done the same thing if Komushi had been a kunoichi that like shogi and not shinobi that liked wood carvings.

The fact it had been _hilarious_ wasn't a major factor of her husband getting away with that one without sleeping in a guest room for a few nights.

Sakumo-taicho had finally finished with his administrative duties to the village and told her to show up for dinner last night.

She had first checked the fridge to ensure Komushi would have enough food… then threw a few things together he could warm up on the stove just in case. Natsumi honestly didn't know if the Sand chūnin _could_ cook or not. Better safe than sorry, her seals could contain a lot but she didn't want a field test in her kitchen.

Then she dragged Shikaku to the dinner at the Hatake compound, because he _hadn't_ been one of the few that just _asked_ her about the situation. Natsumi knew it was because he tried to figure it out on his own and it wasn't that he didn't trust her to know what she was doing, so he had been forgiven.

Minato and Jiraiya-sensei were awesome. Of course.

Sakumo-taicho was too, because he took her at her word that she'd tell him when he got home for a good long stretch.

She did.

Eri looked kind of horrified, but Natsumi couldn't sugarcoat it. She _needed_ to know.

Natsumi really should've kicked Kakashi out of the dining room for the conversation, but it involved the kid and Sakumo hadn't made any move to do it. Kakashi would know, but hopefully keep it to himself.

Shikaku had one of his ' _I'm an idiot_ ' looks she was kind of surprised he _actually_ had on his face. Then she got into the future repercussions of the changes of the academy, and she got to watch him realize she was talking about their own kid… or kids. Natsumi wanted a girl, mostly so Shikamaru would have a sibling to protect like she never had until this life. Siblings were awesome.

Taicho had thanked her after he told her to shut up, and said he was proud of her for caring for the family while he had been gone. She elbowed her _not-nice_ husband for snickering at her blush.

He sent them all to bed shortly afterwards, and Natsumi decided it might be time to inform her dear hubby she wanted at least two children.

Shikaku's rather panicky look when she was talking about being pregnant was always funny. Natsumi probably wasn't helping matters by telling him horror stories she had from another life slumming in the barracks with soldiers complaining about their pregnant wives and their unreasonable demands.

Eh… whoops. Natsumi hadn't really been all that happy at waiting for the other two clan heads Shikaku prized almost like brothers to get with the program once she was used to the idea of having kids. She'd only agreed because Chouza really was that awesome in his own right and Inoichi had put up with so much from her helping her get past her previous death. Shikamaru really did deserve his team, they had been just as awesome as their fathers' team.

However, revenge was hers and it was _sweet_.

Then this morning before Sakumo-taicho took them all to the Hokage's Tower to ambush the older shinobi, and Natsumi noticed the ANBU were fluttering around on her way back from scaring the life out of her student again. She caught sight of the 'retired agent' hand sign and realized taicho was going to ensure everyone that hadn't asked her about the academy thing felt stupid for not asking.

Natsumi didn't really care, those that knew her well had just asked or held the faith she sort of knew what she was doing, but she could roll with that. So she did.

Sakumo-taicho had wanted her to tell the whole thing, not just the bits and pieces the shinobi needed to understand, and that's what Natsumi spoke of for nearly a whole hour. Then she went into the possible short and long term consequences. Then, just to be through, she brought up her 'theoretical Kakashi'.

Who may or may not have been based off the silver haired Hatake Kakashi Natsumi could remember from a story she read in another life.

She got to prove to everyone and their mother that _yes_ , she knew what she was doing. A lot of the things she had done Natsumi could trace back to her unknowing early days as a Konoha kunoichi, but they were working pretty well. So why not keep up with it?

If Natsumi strengthen them now it would be harder for a red eyed, sour old man to rip them apart later. Even if she and Minato didn't survive.

Apparently, not even the Hokage knew everything the academy had done before the chūnins started changing it. That had been a little… unnerving to learn. But Hiruzen-sama knew now, so he probably wouldn't let anyone else try to change it again once fixed.

Then her voice gave out with a painful crack. She hid the automatic wince, but was sure the Hokage saw it anyways. Shikaku was good enough to pick up the conversation for her while giving her a cup of honeyed tea for her throat. Her husband was pretty awesome himself, even if he did think too much and knew every bit of gossip she heard before her.

She got a bit of censure hidden in some teasing for not telling her Fire Shadow first once she knew the problem, but it really had to be Sakumo-taicho that brought it up. Nara clan head's wife she may be, but none of the Nara children had gotten a forceful death threat from the academy-sensei yet and she was only _technically_ a daughter of the Hatake clan. Which had left her at a bit of a loose end when trying to figure out how to raise the issue with Hiruzen-sama when Shikaku hadn't understood everything right away. Natsumi had to resign herself to taicho coming home and dealing with it, but no one said she had to do it gracefully.

Hence the _instructional guerrilla warfare_. It had been kind of the old shinobi to pay her a compliment for doing something about the problem herself while teasing her for it _and_ hiding a reprimand for not telling him all at the same time.

Hiruzen-sama was _good_.

Then Minato showed up when everyone was leaving the Hokage's office and gave her a _hug_.

Someone said she should go home until her voice healed, but Natsumi hadn't wanted too. She had done so much in preparation she wanted to _see_ Sakumo-taicho rip Junko-sensei apart. He had caused her so much grief and almost succeeded in killing some of the other students that she wanted to see him get beaten within an inch of his life by her old ANBU captain.

Sadistic she might be, but it was things like that she loved about being ninja. You could _and_ were encouraged to take your frustrations out with your fellow shinobi on the sparring fields before you had to work with them for missions. Even in her old life that kind of problem solving had been encouraged, but they used combatives then and not taijutsu designed to break people efficiently.

She grabbed the silver haired shinobi's sleeve and pouted.

Minato laughed at her again, but Shikaku sighed and told her she was going home right after. Natsumi pouted again but agreed silently. Just so long as she could _see_ it.

Sakumo-taicho gave his excuses to Eri-san, left Kakashi with her, and a large chunk of shinobi followed the ninjas involved to the academy.

For some reason Minato had been a bit later than most, but he could've had something to take care of with the Hokage so the assassin didn't spend much time wondering why.

Mostly because Jiraiya-sensei had been waiting at the academy and looked as excited as she did as taicho stormed into the academy level of the Hokage's Tower.

Sensei had also brought along her student, who looked vastly confused why they all were at the academy and mostly by why he was there.

Shikaku took Komushi aside and told him, because Natsumi had poked him in the side where he was slightly ticklish and pointed at the Suna chūnin with a narrow eyed glare.

Since it was an off day, meaning the academy didn't take students to ensure they didn't strain themselves too much, the only ones in the academy had been chūnin instructors catching up on paperwork. Sakumo-taicho apparently blew in and grabbed the sensei that had caused Natsumi so much trouble and dragged him out of the building by his hold on the younger shinobi's flak jacket.

Then proceeded to beat the ever living _piss_ out of him for the attempted murder of his son and for making his children miserable with his meddling. All the while explaining _exactly_ how Junko-sensei almost fucked over his first born son's shinobi career and how his eldest daughter saved both shinobi from themselves.

Natsumi thought about correcting her taicho about the miserable thing, as she and Kakashi had a lot of fun making the other ninja's life miserable not the other way around. But she wasn't allowed to speak so she didn't.

It wasn't sadistic of her, _really_.

It really had been a good couple days for her and looked to be an even better evening, because she was going to dump Komushi on Minato just to laze about with her husband for the rest of the day.

She was pretty sure Minato would roll his eyes at her and do it, too.

\V/

Kakashi always knew he had an older sister.

One of his favorite stories his father would tell him before bedtime was of how Iwa tried to kill him as a baby and his mother at the same time, and what Natsu-nee had done to stop them. Of how she had held even his father at sword point until she realized who he was, all bloody and with her pretty, dark, and long hair cut short by an attempt to take her head off.

He still couldn't imagine Natsu-nee with short hair. It had always been long as long as Kakashi knew her.

It hadn't mattered to anyone in his family that Natsu-nee didn't look like a Hatake clan shinobi or like kaa-chan, she was accepted anyways. Her eyes were really cool, too. No matter what anyone else said about them.

She had always been there, even before he could remember. Watching him try something at first, and when he couldn't manage to get it just right she talked him though his thoughts until he could understand where he was going wrong and fix it. She had been smart as a child. Her, Minato-san, and Shikaku-sama too. They could help him when even his father didn't understand and his mother couldn't.

The academy had been both really cool and a bit of a letdown. He did make some friends like Natsu-nee told him too, but the classes hadn't been all that interesting.

Then he had to share his sister with his friends. Kakashi hadn't liked that at first, but Natsu-nee laughed at him and told him he was her little brother and his friends wouldn't ever have that from her.

When Junko-sensei had wanted him to skip the first year because he claimed Kakashi wouldn't be able to learn anything as he already knew it, Natsu-nee had not been impressed with his sensei, for the actual suggestion or the implied ignorance of the academy-sensei.

Kakashi hadn't been that impressed either. Mostly because his sister hadn't, but his sister was older, a _jōnin_ Leaf kunoichi, _and_ knew things he didn't know even now. So he followed along with her even if the first year of the academy was kinda stupid.

Natsu-nee fixed that when he commented on how bored he was getting. The academy practices of her childhood were really fun.

Then she suggested showing everyone else how to do it.

The academy got even more fun when she started commanding them, like they were foot soldiers in a revolution and fighting against an unlawful regime they had to play lip service to. Natsu-nee had to explain a few of the terms to the other academy students, but Kakashi and his friends hadn't needed the explanation.

They were also put in charge when Natsu-nee was needed elsewhere some days for her ninja work.

When the war with Iwa took even her attention away from the academy, they had been at a bit of a loss for what to do at first. But Nawaki managed to get everyone working together again, and they kept it up until Kakashi's father and sister got back.

Then his father sat the whole family down, even Shikaku-sama, and Natsu-nee explained _why_ she hadn't been impressed with Junko-sensei.

Kakashi knew his sister had a reason for it, she always did. _Hearing_ about it, of what she had kept him from wandering into too early just because he was a little bored now, would probably give him a few nightmares.

But it had just reaffirmed the fact that his sister was awesome.


	10. Diversions and Mentorship

_The student doesn't always surpass the master._

_Sometimes he takes the scenic route and ends up in the opposite direction._

* * *

"Then why, Nara-sama, did you not raise the problem with the village council?"

Natsumi had a bit of trouble keeping her sneer off her face. She knew the council had a point to it, she did. It helped the Hokage run a military village when the older shinobi was taking care of the military side and didn't have the time to overlook the civilian one that meshed with the military side. That didn't mean she had to toe the line with them and bow to their every whim. The village council was not her council, and Shimura Danzō was not one of her clan elders. They hadn't been nearly as understanding or trusting as her most important people, so it was really their own fault she didn't consult them about the situation.

"I thought you knew, Shimura-sama. You never asked. I assumed everyone that hadn't asked knew the problems I had with the academy, and that those that hadn't known had already asked by now."

There was a quick cough in the Nara section of the village council. But Shikai had wiped any amusement from his face before his son's wife or the very irritated Danzō managed to catch a glimpse of his amusement.

He was only in the council meeting because the Nara clan head was married to the kunoichi in question, so Shikaku couldn't sit in due to conflicting interests. Natsumi wasn't sure why it was her father-in-law up there and not one of the other Nara clan elders, but she wasn't complaining.

Her usual friends had not been allowed to sit in either, for the same reason her husband couldn't, so the assassin was pretty much staring down the older generation of Konohagakure no Sato in the council chambers.

"And because I really am not a member of the Hatake clan after my marriage to Shikaku-sama happened. None of the Nara children and trainees I am ultimately responsible for, as wife of the clan head, have been the subject of such a threat. Therefore only Sakumo-sama could raise the issue with you all legally, as head of the Hatake clan and as the father of the trainee in question that brought the situation to my attention."

There was a snort, and after a disbelieving pause all attention then turned to the Hokage. Sarutobi Hiruzen didn't bother hiding his amusement with this state of affairs, he had a crooked grin on his weathered face and his shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter.

Natsumi was pretty sure this was part of the older shinobi's revenge on her for not telling him right away. It had involved his own sons, after all.

Ass.

"Very well." Danzō sounded almost like it pained him to admit it, his one visible eye boring into Natsumi's own mismatched pair. "Then do you have a suggestion on how to solve the academy's current difficulties, Nara-sama?"

Oh, did she _ever_.

Natsumi had been plotting and planning for nearly a whole year now, of course she had something in mind. She had known that the academy situation would probably be dumped on her lap to fix since she was making so much trouble for others with it. Rubbing Danzō's bandaged face into her hard work with the kids would be just topping off a sweet revenge for the doubters.

She didn't like him very much.

"Of course, Shimura-sama. Would you like to see? It's been in effect for almost six months as of now."

That caught everyone's attention, even if it had been already sharpened in almost lethal degrees just to hear why the Nara's Lady hadn't told them what was going on with the academy. Even Utatane Koharu, who beamed at the younger looking kunoichi from her spot in the Village Elder's section. Natsumi wasn't sure what she had done that gained the approval of the retired kunoichi teammate of the Third Hokage, but she seemed to have it ever since Sakumo-taicho dragged her to the Tower a few days ago.

Either way, it was flattering.

"I think that is a good idea, neko-chan." The Sandaime finally spoke up, giving his verbal approval of her efforts and reminding everyone that he favored the assassin in question in the same sentence. "I do believe the academy is in session as of right now, but they are in the middle of a recess for the lunch hour. We will convene in half hour at the academy level of the Hokage's Tower and see your solution in effect."

Hiruzen also graced her with an approving and proud smile, before dismissing the rest of the council before someone could bring another tiny detail of the situation up and keep them there even longer.

The ANBU captain had trouble not skipping out of the village council's chambers. Taicho might have thought he was being slick in rubbing peoples' faces in how far Natsumi could see problems arising, but she was going to have the last laugh when all was said and done.

Now, after working in the shadows for so long, she was getting to show off. This was shaping up to be a great day.

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi almost couldn't stop bouncing half an hour later, as she waited for everyone to decide they had a good enough spot to watch.

She not only got word out to the parents of the academy children in a half hour, she got her friends and teachers gathered to watch as well. Her Sunagakure, chūnin ranked, fūinjutsu apprentice Komushi wasn't there, but only because he was dealing with T&I about setting up a temporary citizenship for the length of his apprenticeship.

Sakumo-taicho had taken Komushi there too, so he wasn't here either. Natsumi wasn't sure why her old ANBU captain had wanted to do it, but the gleam in his eye spoke of something evil in nature. She ignored her student's pleading look and let her taicho take him in for her. Either way, she was sure whatever was going on would be hilarious to find out about.

This was better than even that, blackmail material or not. This wasn't just Natsumi's own work she was going to show off, it was the kids' too; and they deserved recognition for their own efforts. They had been the ones to keep up with it all even after she got deployed to Kusa for the fighting.

Senju Nawaki had to have some version of Minato's leadership skills, Natsumi couldn't see him pulling all three years together with her gone without that charisma.

Once everyone was situated, Minato turned to her and grinned. He and Jiraiya-sensei knew what she had done, but he was almost as excited as she was to see it in action. "Dazzle them, sempai."

With a smirk, Natsumi did just that. She spun around and placed two fingers in her mouth, blowing hard and making a three toned whistle echo around the academy's front yard.

There was a moment of silence, almost as if everyone was making sure they heard that right, then the kids inside the building responded to the whistled alert. The bang of multiple smoke bombs going off started almost overlapping when just over three-quarters of the trainees within used them to escape whatever they had been in the middle of, and they poured out of the academy's windows and doors with the resulting smoke leeching after.

It wasn't a mess of chaotic children, they were heading to specific positions in front of the ANBU captain and that sounded the order for the exodus.

The academy chūnin hadn't been entirely wrong, the academy did need some changes. Because there were more ninja now than when it had been built around the founding of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, and the current model the academy used to teach wasn't reaching as far as it should. There had been a population boom up to and after the end of the Second War. From Nawaki to Kakashi, they were just leading the charge of younger shinobi that would be joining the academy in the next few years. As it was, the academy would need more chūnin ranked ninja drawn from the war effort to continue as it had.

The current instructors went about it in a way the assassin couldn't support, had changed it in the wrong direction for a school for young shinobi going off to wartime mission work. The academy was getting too big in its student population for the old teaching arrangement to keep up with it. Resulting in the little things that made Natsumi's academy days so interesting and fun, even to a physical aged-challenged adult who had known more than children she was going to school with, start to slip through the ever widening cracks as the academy became more civilian orientated.

The ANBU captain's response to the restructured civilian style of the academy was to pull a lot of her experience with military schools from her last life and adapt them to fit this one. Not entirely, because this was a ninja academy and not an officer or a completely soldier-type of one. Then snuck it in by engaging the children with something even more interesting than schoolwork a jōnin kunoichi recommended, using both her rank and their automatic obeying of a superior ranked shinobi to do it all under the noses of those that should have been watching for it.

It had already worked once, if for older would-be warriors and not young hopeful shinobi, so she didn't see a reason to fuck with a good thing.

There were three year commanders; Nara Aosai for third, Senju Nawaki for second, Hatake Kakashi for first. Aosai because Natsumi could collaborate with the tiny Nara kunoichi the easiest, and because the third year academy students would shoulder the most damage the assassin couldn't fix in time for their graduation. The third year students needed a Nara to help them coordinate their efforts personally and sneak in more advice for them if needed. Nawaki was in charge of second year because he was a good commander of shinobi, and had the charisma to make his fellow students listen to him when he spoke. Kakashi had first mostly because Natsumi couldn't help but favor her quasi littlest brother, and because he was that good of a shinobi for the other students to pattern themselves off of instead of the academy instructors.

Instead of classes Natsumi thought of them as companies. Usually, the year commanders fell into the whole class for whichever year. For second year there were two classes, so there were also two company commanders. Nawaki took his own class and Sarutobi Koichi took the other, as the two of them hadn't started out in the same class anyways and still weren't in the same one even now.

Yet again, why fuck with a good thing? Koichi was the eldest son of the Hokage, and could lend his burgeoning authority to Nawaki when the kid ran into trouble with directing the two companies under him.

The rest of it changed nearly on a weekly basis, but held the same structure no matter who was in charge or not. Two platoons per class, two or three squads per platoon, two then up to four teams per squad if needed. And the teams were made up of four students if possible, or three to five if not.

The teams were also made up of at least one clan or shinobi raised student if conceivable with the makeup of the classes. It wasn't always possible, there were a few teams in second year that were forced to share the same ninja's kid between them when the weekly changeover happened. But that clan or shinobi raised trainee would know the fiddly bits of ninja life that the civilian students didn't always realize didn't make sense to them.

It would also let the civilian students get their childish urges to fangirl on the shinobi raised trainees out of the way early or get dropped from the teams. Natsumi didn't put up with that kind of behavior, it was not only rude but disruptive and wasn't a trait any kunoichi should have. Kami knew it gave her boys enough trouble when they went to the academy and was starting again with Nawaki and Koichi, and diverted a lot of female ninjas that were good but easily distracted from the jōnin track. They had only gotten sorted for the Genin Corps and had to fight their way out of it because they weren't taken seriously for that habit the academy-sensei really should have done something about.

Mebuki, much to her shame, was one of those easily distracted young kunoichi. Much like how her daughter had been initially in a story Natsumi really couldn't recall anymore. Haruno Sakura had lucked out, her keen intelligence had caught the attention and respect of her teachers and got herself a slot on the jōnin track in team seven under Kakashi. Unlike her mother, who was a good taijutsu user if not a really perceptive ninja and who would make it to tokubetsu jōnin if she ever got over her nerves and tried for the jōnin spar like her recently promoted boyfriend had.

Of the few civilian raised kunoichi Natsumi knew of, Mebuki had been the only one trying her hardest to get out of the rut she had been shunted to. Kyoko and Mei, the two kunoichi Natsumi only vaguely recalled from the time she spent in the academy herself, had already dropped out of shinobi life even if Kyoko had been good at genjutsu after she focused a little more trying to impress Hizashi.

Two or three teams would switch who led them every week too. The rotation would let everyone have a chance to lead, to see what leading their fellows would take. The leader of whatever team or platoon was responsible for the grades and the wellbeing of the students looking to them for leadership. They were also in charge of making sure everyone understood the day's or week's lessons, and in ensuring the others got extra training if they needed it.

The platoon leaders reported to the class or year leader every week about where their fellows were in terms of lessons, grades, and skills. Aosai, Nawaki, Koichi, and Kakashi were all responsible for keeping track of their classes or year. Getting all of them experience in writing or giving reports and defending them to a superior.

The only other class commander reported to Nawaki, so Koichi didn't have to try his hand at reporting to Natsumi yet. He would if the Hokage approved of this model for future years of the academy.

Natsumi intended for the oversight the academy would need to come from the Yamanaka clan, per usual for catching mental issues before they became issues, and a few more instructors for the actual teaching, over watch, and official report taking. If the trainees really wanted to be shinobi, they should work well with this setup and adapt to the next level of ninja life easily with the aid of their fellows.

The old setup had allowed the children to become too isolated in their set groups, in allowing the clan kids verses the civilian kids thing to happen, and had missed it's fair few points of social interaction because all it had been was a holding pattern for the good shinobi already and a bit of a sink or swim situation for the civilian raised ninjas. This new structure wouldn't just force the kids to interact with everyone else, but put those clan instilled skills to use and polished them before lives depended on it. Hopefully, it would also be more interesting than the old academy for the clan or ninja raised children.

For the civilian raised shinobi hopefuls, this would allow them the opportunity to learn the skills their counterparts had already known before joining the academy. Without expecting them to pick it up from the ether themselves, or having to need the academy-sensei to spell it out like Natsumi had to a few days ago. And to see exactly what kind of mental and physical preparations were needed to survive in ninja life.

It took less than a minute for the outpour of trainees to sort themselves out once everyone was in the yard, even if Natsumi hadn't been able to do this drill with them yet. They knew where they should go, and they knew this was their reward for keeping up with the jōnin kunoichi's little task for them for most of their school year. They were going to get to show off to their parents and hopefully future comrades, because all children loved to be praised by their authority figures for their work.

Especially if they got to be sneaky about it and surprise others.

The team leaders reported to the squad leaders once everyone on their team was in position, the squad leaders reported that to the platoon leaders. Then the platoon leaders reported to the year commanders, and Koichi reported his class slash company was ready to Nawaki.

Then the three year leaders turned to Natsumi with evil little grins of their own and reported each year as present and accounted for, as far as they were responsible for them.

Probably because all three of them knew the ANBU captain hadn't gotten permission for this change up of the academy. As they had been told why they had to keep it out from under the academy-sensei's noses.

Brats.

During the reporting the students had been doing, the bare bones of the students' structure was obvious to the shinobi watching. Instead of immediately talking to her kids, Natsumi turned to their Hokage. "Hiruzen-sama? Any questions?"

"I am very certain I'll have a few questions for you later, neko-chan." The Fire Shadow also had a grin on his face, looking over the next few generations of shinobi looking at him with pride in their little faces. "This is very impressive."

Natsumi was pretty sure the older shinobi was lying through his teeth about the questions, as ANBU had known what she was getting up to here. Therefore he knew, as the kage leader of the Leaf ANBU reported to through the ANBU General. Bear-sama had laughed his ass off his desk chair when he heard what she had been doing meeting with the Hokage's kids, the Hatake heir, and the last Senju Grandchild during academy hours. Panther watched him do it, too.

Hiruzen was just helping her get one up over Danzō's head.

Natsumi still couldn't get rid of the smirk on her lips as she spun back to the shinobi trainees watching them. "Alright! You heard our Hokage-sama, good work! Year commanders, you are to bring your final year end reports to me once dismissed. That includes you too, Koichi-kun!"

The assassin paused so the kids could get their sniggers out of the way. Students of the ninja way or not, they were still children. They weren't soldiers yet, not even by Konoha's standards, so Natsumi wasn't expecting them to have the same kind of discipline she did.

"Dismissed! Go show off."

The rest of the academy students might have bolted to where their parents were standing, or got dragged to other parents to be shown off as a friend that helped them with this or that, but the five that converged on Natsumi held most of the unrelated shinobi's attention.

The assassin knelt down to their level and looked at the youngest Sarutobi. "Something up, Asuma-kun? I didn't call you."

"Waiting for my brother, Natsu-nee-chan." The younger trainee shrugged easily, a smirk still pulling his mouth up. "Figured I might as well wait here."

Natsumi rolled her mismatched ghost eyes at him. "Cute. We might as well start with the beginning. Kakashi-kun?"

The silver haired prodigy of the Hatake clan swiped a slightly bloody thumb over a differently inked part of his textbook he still had in his hand. Natsumi had placed storage seals on something innocuous for all the major leaders of her little academy setup, so the kids could hide their reports from the chūnin instructors if needed. Kakashi then discarded the book in favor of reading from the scroll.

"I've got three confirmed taijutsu users, six trackers, five trap specialists, two stealth experts who both picked espionage, and four that might want to try for ANBU or Hunter-nin later on. I've also got someone that wants to try their hands at genjutsu and another that wants an iryou-nin specialization, but we don't have someone that can mentor them in the upper years. No major problems with unlocking the chakra exercise with those that stayed in the academy this year, and a few will need extra practice at chakra control next year." The six-going-on-seven-year-old prodigy rattled off in quick succession, rolling it up and handing the scroll off to the younger Sarutobi brother. "Asuma-kun's also volunteered to lead as year commander next year, so he wanted to watch. That's why he's standing there, Natsu-nee."

Natsumi snorted as Asuma swiped at Kakashi's head with the scroll in his hand, only for her pseudo littlest brother to dodge it effortlessly. "Okay, Asuma-kun. You'll lead next year if this is approved, I'd advise you to start by asking Nawaki-kun how it's going to work. Speaking of, Nawaki-kun?"

The Senju Grandson's seal was inked to his belt, and a bloody swipe later he held his own year's reporting scroll. "I've got three that want to specialize in combat ninjutsu; seven taijutsu users; eight scouts; fifteen that are probably destined for Tactical or Intelligence; four that want weapon specialists training; ten trackers; seventeen stealth experts broken down to nine spies and eight infiltrators; and five that want the iryou-nin specialization, but again we have no one that has it. Two more that want genjutsu training, and about seven that want to try for ANBU or Hunter-nin later. And," Nawaki looked up from his report, a little embarrassed at actually having to say it in front of all the shinobi there, "someone that wants to specialize in the basic ninja skills."

"I know of Ebisu-kun and his goals, Nawaki-kun. Continue." Natsumi was of the opinion that kid was weird.

Which was saying something, from a reincarnated soldier turned sword using ninja assassin about a shinobi trainee.

However, she knew the kid would turn out to be a very good jōnin even if he was going to limit himself like that.

"Right," the brown haired, gold eyed kid cleared his throat awkwardly, "there was no real trouble with any of the throwing weapon lessons for those that remained in the academy, but a few do need to work on their aim next year. Those four that want a weapon specializations are going to try and get ahold of the weapons in question, with approval from their parents first. But we don't have anyone that can train them next year."

"I'll take care of it. Any kenjutsu users?"

"Not yet, Natsu-nee-chan."

"Alright. And Koichi-kun's taking lead of both classes next year, right?"

Nawaki nodded and handed off the scroll to the eldest Sarutobi brother standing a little behind him.

"Aosai-chan? Last but not least."

The little Nara kunoichi grinned wryly, scroll already in hand. "Of course not, Natsumi-sama. We have fifteen stealth specialists in seven spies and eight infiltrators, six scouts, three trap specialists, five that picked up tracking, four tai users, and two that would like to specialize in weapons eventually. Five that have decided on Tactical as a goal, six on Intelligence, and nine that would like Research and Development eventually if possible."

Natsumi accepted the scroll from the young kunoichi. "Any problems besides the physical one?"

"We're not really set on that, yeah." Aosai's lazy smirk turned to a brief grimace, probably thinking to all the work her year put into ensuring the civilian raised trainees were not as badly off at the end of the year as the beginning. "There are about fifteen that'll flunk out the basic three test, because they don't have enough control or focus yet. A scattering of more that might fail the accuracy test, too, from the part of the class that decided to not join up with the revolution."

Damn. That was worse than Natsumi had been hoping it would be. Almost a full third of the class wouldn't make the cut off for graduation, blocking even Genin Corps from their future. "Well… we expected something like this, so it isn't so surprising. Good work this year anyways, Aosai-chan."

"Natsumi-chan?"

The assassin rose to her full height, not inconsiderable next to the academy kids but a little shorter than average for the rest of the shinobi ranks around her, and turned to the Hokage. "Hiruzen-sama. I regret to inform you there were… casualties, in the retaking of the academy. Mostly the physical training parts, because there weren't enough chūnin instructors to ensure all the kids were doing them when they started cutting sparring practice to cover all the students in lectures instead."

The Fire Shadow's lips twitched at the 'casualties' report. Natsumi might be taking the guerrilla warfare joke a bit too far, but it was still funny.

Behind the Hokage, Danzō looked to be cut from cardboard for all the expression he showed. The ANBU captain got a dark thrill of satisfaction at his face's lack of expression.

That was almost as bad as looking pissed, to ninja.

The Village Elder might be of the opinion that sabotaging Konoha's enemies then marching in with obvious military strength was the way to go… but Natsumi thought better quality would prove the Leaf's superiority in the end.

Less Konoha ninja would die her way, which was always a bonus.

"I think we will need to discuss these interesting reports you have just been given, neko-chan." Hiruzen's eyes gleamed at his assassin, and Natsumi felt a sinking sensation in her gut. "They are fascinating, especially since this is the first I heard of any such reports."

Right… this was all part of the Sarutobi clan head's revenge against her for not owing up and telling him about the threat to his sons in the first place. Dealing with the council about it.

Natsumi-1, Danzō-0. Two points awarded to the Hokage for getting both of them at the same time, so Hiruzen finishes in the lead with 2.

The Third Fire Shadow won that round. She hadn't even been aware he had been playing.

Sarutobi Hiruzen was good.

\V/

Kushina practically kicked in her front door, and Natsumi spent a brief moment being thankful the lethal seals weren't that sensitive to activate when an unlocked door was forcefully opened… and that she keyed her security seals to not react to her friends' chakra signatures. If none of that had been done, that action might have actually hurt the jinchūriki.

"Natsumi, I need a word with you."

The assassin blinked in the direction of the hallway. The hime sounded… stressed. Not something that normally happened to ninja after a certain number of years hiding what they felt even in the face of horrendous physical pain. "In the study, Kushina-hime."

A redheaded firecracker barreled into the specified room, a light blush on her fair skin staining it pink. "Komushi-kun, go take a break and I'll give you a lesson on barrier seals when you get there."

Natsumi's apprentice gaped at the Whirlpool Princess' offer, and the ANBU captain calmly rolled up his latest offer of calligraphy practice and used the scroll to nudge his jaw shut. "Go on, Komushi. Take a break. Not bad for two months and a half of another of dedicated work on it, but watch out for how much ink you have on the brush when getting into the more complicated kanji. Insure you don't need to change brushes, the tips are looking to wear out in these latest examples. You might be pressing too hard with them."

For some reason, ever since Sakumo had taken the Suna ninja to T&I, Komushi had been a little jumpy around her. Natsumi couldn't get what had been spoken of between the two of them from either one, but she was sure her old ANBU captain had done something paternal in nature. Taicho had been on a bit of a fatherhood high for a little while, ever since Junko-sensei almost made a mess of Kakashi's shinobi career.

Which meant the silver haired jōnin was fussing at her again. Not nearly as bad as the time just after she got benched from ANBU for the first time, but still.

"Hai, shishou." Komushi took the scroll back shakily and skirted around the highly upset jinchūriki, heading out of the house with all due speed to earn that favor he had just been offered.

Kushina just glared, cheeks puffed out, until the assassin nodded to imply the Suna shinobi was out of her chakra sensing range. "Minato is an idiot!"

"I know." Natsumi dropped her chin to her hand, elbow propped up on one knee and waved the jinchūriki to the spot her student just left. "Why are we talking about my idiotic kouhai?"

The other kunoichi dropped to the floor in a graceful slump. Upset or not, she was still kunoichi. "Cause it's almost been two years, Natsumi."

Ah. The reincarnated soldier sighed, sitting back and resting her spine against the wall. "Minato… tends to overthink, hime. He's good at picking the best option in split second decisions, don't get me wrong. But when looking forward, my kouhai gets too caught up in the little things that might happen and tries to plan for all of it before doing something. And he can be kinda blind too, he has been before. Has Minato told you why you two are still only dating almost two years after he finally asked you out?"

"Something about how we might make enemies in the war, and he wants to be good enough to protect me from them if he needs to." Kushina pouted, threading her ruby red locks through her fingers. "Like I need protection, you know."

Natsumi grimaced at both the Uzumaki verbal tic resurrection and at the subject matter. Well… she could see that. "If you two married now, you'd give him your clan name. Right? And there are a lot of other shinobi that would probably want to kill you just for your clan name being continued. That doesn't even touch on the other reasons why you'd need that protection, because I'm pretty sure Mikoto isn't protecting herself right now."

The jinchūriki flinched at the clan talk, something that was still sore with her even so many years after the fall of Whirlpool and the near destruction of the Uzumaki clan. "You'd help protect me."

"Of course I will." Natsumi affirmed easily, implying with her tone it had been stupid to think otherwise. "But I'm not that good yet, hime. Hiruzen-sama, Jiraiya-sensei, hell… even Sakumo-taicho can all be slightly or a lot more of a ninja than I can be even now. I am not that good yet to know each and every fault or bonus of each event instinctively, and I'm still learning after all my years."

"But-!" Kushina flailed a hand in the assassin's direction. "You're ANBU! You're, like, a kunoichi of kunoichi!"

The kunoichi in question smirked wryly. "I'm a glorified murderer, hime. I sneak into places and kill people when they're not aware enough to fight back. Assassination is not a popular part of the stealth experts' field, knowing how to take off-guard targets down isn't really all that impressive as ninjutsu experts and their skills in pitched battle. And why is ANBU so extraordinary? We aren't, not really. We're sneaky in spades, but that's about it."

The Whirlpool Princess' shoulder slumped. "Leave me my illusions, please."

"Then go talk to Mikoto. She's good at them."

Snorting, she looked up at her boyfriend's childhood sempai. "Not what I meant. The academy thing… hell, even your Suna student. That's what I'm talking about. Minato almost couldn't shut up about both a few weeks ago."

Natsumi scratched at the side of her nose carefully. "Aa… that. To be completely honest, the Suna thing fell into my lap. I didn't seek out Sasori-kun, he sought me out and started talking about suiton jutsus and the difficulty Sand-nin have trying to learn them. I just sort of… took advantage of the situation, but I honestly thought it'd take a few years if anything came of it. I will fully admit to the academy thing, but I am paying for it now."

"Well, Hiruzen-sama's kids are part of the academy right now. And you did seem to forget to tell him." Kushina shrugged easily, as if to imply it had been the assassin's own fault she was still dealing with the council after a few weeks after the incident in question. "But the Suna situation, that's ninja like. We're supposed to take advantage if we can."

Sighing, she leaned forward to catch the redhead's worried green eyes. "Hime, all that aside however impressive you think it is even if it's really just favorable circumstances, you are one of the last Uzumaki clan members' in existence and a fair bit important to Konoha beyond even that. It is a bit intimidating to both me and Minato, to think he might be the one responsible in ensuring you won't have to protect yourself from my fellow butchers. I'm not even sure I can protect you well enough yet, and I won't be the one that everyone expects will protect you."

Natsumi could see Kushina's acceptance of that, however reluctant it might be. "The last Uzumaki alive, you mean."

The ANBU captain hesitated a moment too long.

"I'm not?" The Whirlpool Princess all but gaped at the reincarnated soldier; wonder, excitement, and shock playing across her face. "But-! Natsumi, why haven't…"

"I'm not sure about that yet!" The ghost eyed kunoichi hurried to put in before the surprise in Kushina's eyes turned to hurt, a thrum of panic shooting through her. "I haven't seen him in person! He might just be claiming the clan name because he's got some red hair. But… you might not be the last of the Uzumaki clan to survive Whirlpool's fall."

As a matter of fact, Natsumi _knew_ Kushina wasn't the last of the famous fūinjutsu using clan of Whirlpool. But, getting the cousins to meet would be the tricky thing. Preferably before Hanzō the Salamander tried to kill him and does kill his best friend… and she really shouldn't have told Kushina that before she could at least confirm the Ame orphans were still alive right now.

Jiraiya hadn't been moody about something he wouldn't talk about yet, so Natsumi was mostly sure they were still living. Not entirely, though.

There was a moment of silence, as the jinchūriki processed that in her head. "You're freaking awesome, Natsumi. Dattebane! Minato's afraid of being my only protector? Find another one to help, and a clan member to boot."

"It might not work out that way, hime." The ANBU captain rubbed at the back of her neck sheepishly, keeping her filed nails away from her coiled hair. "But at the very least it will draw some of the attention off you, even if you two only meet once. The very best case scenario would be that he decides you are due some extra protection if you're pregnant in the future, but it all really depends on a few things."

Like getting Jiraiya to admit he took on a few other students, and who exactly they were to his old ones. Barring that, actually getting out to Ame sometime in the future and physically meeting with Uzumaki Nagato. Yet again, preferably before the original Akatsuki falls into Hanzō's trap and Pein rises from the ashes of the Whirlpool Princess' cousin's grief-stricken mind.

"So, keep it to yourself hime. I'm not sure I can pull this off yet." Natsumi tapped her fingers to the middle of Kushina's forehead to get the other kunoichi to focus on her. "It might never happen, too, or might go all wrong and you'll never get to see him if I can do it. I wasn't going to tell you until I knew either way what would be possible, and I'm still working on it."

"So, might not be the last of the Uzumaki clan." She sniffed a little, adjusting to that thought. "I think I'm going to cry."

"Go cry on Minato, he'll do that silent panicking thing and that's always funny to watch. Might cheer you up."

The wicked curve of the jinchūriki's lips reassured the assassin that the Uzumaki Princess would be alright, even if her eyes were suspiciously shiny.

\V/

"… and he knew, too! You can't do anything in Konoha without him knowing about it!" Natsumi jutted out her lower lip at the kage in question, slumping back into her husband's hold. "Meany."

Just like she figured, Natsumi had been dumped with the administration of the academy problem. For about another year until the start of the next academy class for sure, since she already had a working model in effect and had to teach her own student to boot, and maybe a couple more years after even that as needed.

The Sandaime had declared to the council that since she was already teaching, simply adding overview of the academy to her teaching responsibilities shouldn't tax her too much. The added benefit of ensuring the work the assassin had already put into the academy wasn't messed with had just been a bonus, and the paperwork he would be dumping off on her would also reinforce his irritation that she hadn't come to him with the problem.

It also played to the ANBU captain's hands, she would be the one in charge of the next couple years of genin graduates. Meaning she was going to be the one to assign and sort the students for jōnin-sensei, and could occasionally go back and take a look to see where it was. It also wouldn't affect her ANBU work too much, Natsumi had the penalty of unmasking-by-foreign-ninja to pay yet because B of Kumo figured out who she was.

Panther had been confined to the village for six months due to that incident, and had more desk work than she really wanted to deal with in the tactical smokescreen Bear-sama tossed on her just before she left for Kusa.

Like Natsumi had thought rather frequently over the years; Sarutobi Hiruzen was a good shinobi. The administration work in her future was already giving her nightmares even if this was what she had wanted.

"If you're going to be inconsiderate enough to create more work for me, neko-chan, you can be just as considerate and help me deal with it." Hiruzen told the ANBU captain calmly after the laughter died down, still working on the paperwork on his desk that dealt with the academy in question. "And I do not know everything that goes on in Konoha, though I enjoy the thought you might think so."

Natsumi didn't, but knew there were few things that escaped the Third Fire Shadow's attention. And the things that did escape were normally watched obsessively by ANBU for him.

She let the laughter go on anyways, because she was feeling way too good to get even slightly annoyed by it.

Personally, the assassin was of the mind that it had been too long since they could all last do this. This was crashing the Sarutobi's clan compound and spending the evening together. They still weren't all here, Hiashi was gone handling the situation on the border of Earth while his twin took temporary command of the Hyūga clan, but the majority of the major clan heads were present and even a few new ones had joined them. Orochimaru had declined the invitation, leaving them one sannin short as well.

Natsumi was of two minds about the decline by Snake Summoner to spend time with them. On one hand, she still thought he was creepy looking. On the other, he was probably working on the Tenzou situation. It really was a state of affairs that didn't have a winning side for her.

"Yeah well, I even solved most of the problem for us. It's still going to need work, but most things in life need improvements before long." Natsumi had thought about it, but she really couldn't see anything major that might come up next year before they smacked her in the face. Recalling what else happened during the day long council meeting about the academy, the assassin turned to Fugaku and Mikoto. "Apologize to Kagami-sama for me, would you? He's pretty awesome for an Uchiha clan elder and probably didn't deserve that."

The Uchiha genjutsu mistress, who was sitting on the floor like the Nara couple to give her ballooning stomach enough room and leaning against her husband's legs, rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes. Because obviously you don't owe a few more apologies to other ninja in the room."

Mikoto was five months into her pregnancy, and starting to get as moody as Tsume had been at the same stage. The Inuzuka clan alpha was almost ready to pop, but she had been pregnant for about a month or two before the iryou checkup caught it. The medic-nin estimated Natsumi's goddaughter would be born in mid to late spring, the Uchiha heir in late spring or early summer.

Natsumi blinked and then nodded. "Right. Sorry Tsume, Shibi, Inoichi, Chouza, and… err…" She looked at the patiently amused Hizashi and his fiancée. "I really don't like your clan elders, Hizashi. So, not really sorry for the Hyūga clan elders' headaches."

Shikaku planted a hand over her mouth. "We're really sorry, Hizashi. Really."

The apology wasn't very effective, considering that the muffled but still audible 'no, we're not' that reached the rest of them even with the Nara clan head's hand over his wife's lips.

Misaki smiled calmly at them anyways, even if the regret from the ANBU captain was less than idea. "Thank you, Shikaku-sama."

Natsumi licked the palm over her mouth to get Shikaku's hand off her face. "Continuing, I've got something else to bring up."

"Please, sempai. Not another academy thing."

The assassin stuck her tongue out at Minato. "If it was, don't you think I'd have done something about it by now? This is something else."

"You want to restructure T&I under everyone's noses?" Jiraiya guessed archly, sitting against the wall on the far side of the room.

"Inoichi already did that, old man. Like, years ago."

"I'm not old!" The Toad Sage spluttered.

"Yes, you are. I'm old, and you're the same age as me." Sakumo informed him dryly.

Tsunade, who had been more intent on figuring out which medics she could spare to hold some classes in the academy for the students next week, looked over at the two of them. "Are you calling me old, Sakumo?"

Natsumi's old kenjutsu master paled, rapidly backpedaling much to his wife's amusement. "No, no, no. Not at all, Tsunade-sama! You're still a vision of kunoichi beauty!"

"And now, before my taicho sticks his foot in it anymore and insults his wife," the assassin pushed herself upright and took the scroll Shikaku dug out of her weapon pouch just to hand it off to the very pregnant Tsume, "for baby Inuzuka who has yet to be named."

The Inuzuka alpha didn't bother trying to lean forward to grab the scroll with her massive, swallowed-a-whole-watermelon stomach in the way. Shibi had to be the one to pass it along to her clawed hands. "I've decided on Hana, Natsumi. And 'crib'? I'm in awe of your descriptive abilities. I thought seal users were supposed to be creative with their words."

The ANBU captain rolled her mismatched eyes. "Just open the damn thing."

The Aburame clan head was prodded again by his usual jōnin mission partner, and the man silently accepted the sealing scroll back. Natsumi was of the opinion that even if she had been wrong about the father of Hana, Shibi was going to be an awesome godfather to share responsibility with. He was just so passive about everything, it was fun to poke him and get stared at.

She still wasn't sure she was wrong about Hana's biological father. Neither of them would say.

Space was made for the impassive kikachu user to open the sealing scroll because even if they were all friends, all ninja were nosey.

A swipe of blood down the control sigil, and after the press/thump of air suddenly moving for larger objects being unsealed from their sealed pocket dimension, Natsumi smirked into the stunned silence. "Admit it, I'll be a kickass godmother."

The assassin had finished her rosewood crib during the time she had been tied up with the council, because woodworking was soothing to the ANBU captain's nerves after days of talking. Especially painting something she had carved already with another coat of varnish, and then starting on a crib for the Uchiha couple once that was done.

"Oh!" Natsumi turned to the gaping Uchiha matron and her stupefied husband. "I'm having some trouble getting ahold of enough mahogany for baby Uchiha, but what do you want carved on your crib?"

Shikaku wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her backwards. "Give them a moment, Natsu. I'm pretty sure I am one of the few that knew you could carve wood in this room."

"Oh… oops."

Sakumo snorted in the far side of the room. "I knew, she always had a bit of wood in hand when she had the time. I'm just impressed she's got the patience to carve this."

"True, Natsumi-chan was always tracking wood shavings inside the house if she didn't have a mission." Eri nodded, still eyeing the crib with a soft smile. "But this is impressive."

Jiraiya just smirked and Minato copied him when everyone's attention turned to them. "Sempai sat on my couch for a few years carving game pieces for Shikaku, of course I knew."

Mikoto cleared her throat, still staring at the piece of furniture sitting innocently in the middle of the room. "Mahogany, you said? Well… we're having a boy…"

"The uchiwa fan, please." Fugaku blinked at the dark red wooden crib a few times before his brow furrowed in confusion. "Why are you having trouble getting enough wood?"

"Mahogany grows in the south, near the border of Wind on the very edge of Wave's most western seashore. That's the only place it grows that I can get to." Natsumi pouted a little. It had been easier to get ahold of wood types in her last life, in this one there were more ways to delay merchant shipments than there were ways for that wood to spoil. "And I can do an inlay of your clan's fan on the headboard. I've got some white pine from Iron already and I can use a bit of the rosewood from Kusa for the lower part. But what on the bars? They're removable."

Kushina scrambled up to investigate that, pulling gently on one of the crib's barred sides until the wood moved with a clack and slid out of place. "Wow… I want one."

"You're not pregnant yet." The assassin tilted her head in thought, then turned to the Hyūga couple. "Ebony alright for the two of you? It'd take me a bit to get enough since it only grows on islands near Lightning, and those merchants are getting pissy, but I figured your clan would protest if I did the same wood type as the Uchihas'. And ebony might be heavy, but it's cool to work with."

Misaki stared back, shocked enough that the eternally blissful little smile on her lips had been wiped off. "Of course, Natsumi-sama."

"I totally vote for fire up the sides. Or foxes." The jinchūriki in the room put in, bringing the wooden bars over to Tsume so the Inuzuka could see the spirals of wolves herself.

The heavily pregnant kunoichi rubbed the carved canine packs with her thumb, an awed smirk playing across her lips. "I like this…"

"Fire." Mikoto decided firmly, adjusting quickly to the idea. "Fire carved in the bars. Who else are you planning on making one of these for?"

"Shibi, but I'll be doing one in black pine for him. Pine smells of pine forests even after it's carved and sealed, especially if I don't lacquer it. Whenever he gets himself a wife, that is. Myself, Inoichi, and Chouza; in maple, oak, and cherry respectively. Then of course Minato and Kushina, once they get off their asses." The ANBU captain smirked evilly at the wide-eyed look she got from her kouhai. "In the Hashirama tree wood, as soon as I figure out how to carve it. It's a bit weird, as a wood type."

Hiruzen ran a weathered hand over the headboard and the dogs playing there before looking up at the assassin. "How so, neko-chan?"

"It's… almost like a cross between some of the lighter pines and Maplewood. Which are two different wood types, maple is a hardwood and pine can be either hard or soft depending on the variety."

Which was a little confusing. The First Hokage had been known to grow bonsai trees, even on top of his overly famous wood release jutsus. He should have known the wood types he was mimicking with his chakra. Why the famed Hashirama trees that forested the middle of the Land of Fire were crafted in such a way was… interesting to puzzle over.

Maybe it was a cross between honorable Hashirama-sama's favorite tree types?

"I'd say it is almost cypress like in type, but it still isn't quite similar enough for comparison."

"Why are you carving a crib in maple for yourself? Why not cypress?" Shikaku asked idly, already knowing of his wife's questions about the famed woods surrounding the village.

"Cause maple is pretty. Especially tiger maple, but I haven't seen some of that in years." Natsumi shrugged. "And cypress is known as the tree of death, so that's just creepy to make into a crib."

Mikoto's lips curled in a wicked smirk of her own. "So the academy kunoichi instructor handled you wrong. You didn't need flower arrangement lessons, you needed bonsai growing ones."

The assassin stuck out her tongue at the genjutsu mistress.

\V/

Okay, there had been a problem with her model of the academy.

One quarter of the students hadn't joined up with Natsumi's little guerrilla warfare for whatever reason, and integrating them into the current set up had proved to be a headache.

Three lectures, two separate classroom meetings, and one whispered conversation with Kakashi later, and that bump had been smoothed over.

Natsumi told her pseudo littlest brother that the ones that hadn't joined had served a purpose in distraction, in keeping the chūnin instructors from having the time or energy to dig into what their troops were doing. Then, she let him think he was spreading that around to his little friends.

The joys of ninja gossip circles, academy style.

It wasn't technically completely true, most had either been too much of a teachers' pet or very rigidly bound to their sense of who was in charge or not. However there _had_ been some children that chose not to join because the assassin had not been the one appointed by the Hokage to teach them, or because of various other little personal reasons that were totally valid.

It took the ANBU captain a full month to figure out how to address that problem, and another few more weeks to set up the introduction to the team/squad sorting every year of genin trainees would be given.

By that time, Kakashi and Asuma had started the second year of classes while Nawaki and Koichi started their third.

Once everything was running more or less smoothly, Natsumi went to see Tsunade in Konoha's main Hospital. To see if there would be any medic-nins to at least teach some of the kids the basics of iryou-nin jutsus on a semi-regular basis.

The argument she walked in on was… disturbing.

Kato Dan was Senju Tsunade's lover in another life, the assassin was pretty sure of that. At least… that's what the reincarnated soldier had thought.

At the moment, the two of them were at each other's throats.

The jōnin ranked shinobi medic, with waist length pale blue hair, was loudly proclaiming the need of more medic-nin in the field and on shinobi squads leaving the village.

The Slug Princess was glaring and reaffirming the words of the Third Hokage to his face, that currently there were not enough medics to place one on every ninja team. "… and I agree with the old man. We do not have enough medics for such a thing, we won't for a few years yet. Better to concentrate on what we can do now and wait until there are enough shinobi that know iryou-nin jutsu before attempting such a thing."

"Aa… Tsunade-sama?" The ANBU captain cleared her throat awkwardly to catch the two's attention. "Erm… sorry to interrupt?"

On the contrary, the Senju kunoichi looked rather relieved to see the assassin. "Natsumi. I take it you're here to see about medical lessons for your brats?"

"For the academy students, yeah." Natsumi looked between the two iryou-nin standing in the Head Medic's office. "I can always come back?"

"No, Dan was just leaving." Tsunade pinned one of her top medics with a golden eyed glare to ensure that. "I'll see what I can do for you, little shadow. How many are there?"

"A good half-dozen so far, probably more takers when the first year academy students figure out where they want to go at the end of the year." The assassin slid to the side to allow the other jōnin to leave, tossing a scroll to the blonde sannin when the man left with a huff. "Possibly ten when you get someone there, when all's said and done."

"I wish I could assign you a medic solely for the academy." The Slug Princess sighed regretfully as she looked over the notes the ANBU captain had brought her about the possible students that wished to learn iryou jutsu. "Kami knows you're going to be dealing with the odd medical emergency over there, little shadow, but currently we're a bit hard up keeping the medics' fall back point staffed."

"I understand, Tsunade-sama. I do. I'm currently wishing I had the control to learn something of your art." Natsumi told the older seeming kunoichi dryly with a smirk. "As is, I'm far more likely to kill someone with chakra poisoning than heal them."

The only reason the medic ninjas of Konohagakure no Sato were not being overwhelmed with patients right now was because Leaf managed to race through Grass and stopper the fighting in certain passes into Earth. If they hadn't, they would have had to fight across the grasslands of Kusa trying to…

Oh.

 _Shit_.

Natsumi felt like smacking herself.

Tsunade and Dan currently didn't share the same thought about medical assistance on shinobi teams because the number of injured ninja hadn't overwhelmed the medics yet. That wasn't likely to happen until late summer or later, given there really was only one major battlefield at the moment until Konoha tried to break into whatever Iwa threw up in Earth proper over the winter. Tsunade had personally gone out and ensured the initial fighting wouldn't have catastrophic casualties to it, and ensure there was a safe base all Leaf or Sand ninja in Earth could go to get medical help if needed.

Dan… hadn't. He had been in charge of Konoha's Main Hospital while the Head Medic herself was off in battle keeping their fellow shinobi alive.

If Natsumi kept Nawaki alive pass his first scouting mission to the border, it wasn't likely that Tsunade would change her mind and think it was a good idea.

Well… this would prove to be interesting… and slightly awkward.

What did you do when the man who helped preserve your sanity was in love with a woman who might end up loving another man… because of a death of a younger sibling you were trying to save?

The assassin just wanted to cringe.

She was loyal to Jiraiya, kami knew the white haired sannin had helped her out immensely.

Trying something so he'd get the woman of his dreams was probably unethical.

But… ninja.

They all were unethical… or not very good ninja.

"Wow… I've been working too hard." Natsumi rubbed her green eye carefully with the heel of her hand, trying to ignore the niggling urge to do something sneaky. Her last sneaky thing had come back to bite her on the ass, and this wasn't something she wanted fucking up on her if she tried something. "I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama. What did you say?"

"Go home, little shadow." The Slug Princess passed a glowing green hand over the assassin's head, easing the pangs of the tension headache that had started throbbing earlier that morning. "I'll take care of this personally if I have too. But you need to go do something else. Harass my idiot of a teammate, pick on your not-so-little kouhai, or go carve something. Hell… go take a nap with your husband for all I care. Just go home."

The ANBU captain opened her mouth to explain why she shouldn't, took one look at the Senju kunoichi's stern eyes and shut her mouth for a moment before opening it again. "Kay."

\V/

Barely a week after speaking with the Head Medic of Konohagakure, Natsumi was back in the hospital.

Not for herself, but the birth of her goddaughter.

Tsume went into labor right in the middle of the monthly clan council meeting. The wild natured kunoichi apparently barked at her fellow clan heads to ' _Hurry the fuck up, idiots! My water just broke_ ' as Kuromaru practically cowered in the back of the room.

Dog or not; he was still a male in the face of an in-pain, birthing female.

Needless to say, Shibi raced his usual tracking partner to the main Konoha hospital while Shikaku bolted to the academy to fetch his wife.

Natsumi didn't get if the topic had been resolved or not out of her husband before being shoved though decontamination by the medics on hand for the Inuzuka alpha's labor. She didn't think so, really.

Tsume nearly broke Natsumi's hand, and did break Shibi's, but little Inuzuka Hana was born just shy of two weeks into the month of April. The assassin was the first to hold the tiny Inuzuka baby, as the Aburame clan head needed to get his hand healed before holding his goddaughter.

Served him right for taking the new mother's right hand.

(ooo000ooo)

"I can _see_ my _feet!_ " Tsume crowed in delight, wiggling the toes attached to the part in question in glee.

"Shut up." Mikoto groused, glaring down at her swollen belly.

Natsumi just bounced baby Hana in her arms and watched the Inuzuka alpha delightedly tease the Uchiha matron about no longer being pregnant. The genjutsu mistress was in the late part of pregnancy when everything ached because there was a nearly fully grown baby in her belly, so now even Mikoto was looking forward to the end of it all. Even without the thought of holding her own son in her arms prompting her to.

Kushina was much more entertained by letting the baby in the assassin's arms suck on her fingertips than the argument/teasing going on across from them.

Kuromaru guarded them all sitting in the Inuzuka clan head's home, looking rather resigned to things as he did so.

The best thing to the reincarnated soldier about the medical techniques in this life was that flesh wounds were healed in a matter of seconds. Tsume might have just had a baby, but she was nearly completely healed from it only three days after the fact. All the Inuzuka kunoichi had to do now was retrain her body back to ninja standards before picking up mission work, and let her physical physiology reset from baby making machine to female athlete again. She had six months of maternity leave to do it in, or to decide she didn't want to be kunoichi anymore and resign from active service due to maternity reasons.

Broken bones were another matter for iryou-nin, but the tracker that had just given birth hadn't broken her pelvic bone doing it.

Bitch. Natsumi had spent months in pain because some ass of a Cloud ninja broke her thigh and one of her leg bones once.

Tsume sighed blissfully, stretching out to lay on her stomach. "Oh… kami- _sama_ … am I _glad_ that's over with."

Hana fussed for a moment, then sneezed into Kushina's face.

"Oh yuck." She drew back and wiped the offended feature with a sleeve. "She's cute, but she's got no manners. Hana-chan, you're not supposed to sneeze in people's faces."

"Don't listen to tomato-chan, Hana-chan." The assassin cooed at the bundle of baby in her arms with a wicked smirk. "Sneeze all you want. It's her fault for shoving it in your face."

Kushina squawked at the resurrection of her old academy nickname. "Oi!"

The Inuzuka barked a laugh. "That's why I wanted Natsumi for godmother. You sure you've got the right kunoichi for your gaki, Mikoto?"

"I'm sure. At least Itachi-chan will be somewhat well mannered." The Uchiha genjutsu mistress sniffed haughtily. "And I'm confident whatever tomato-chan damages I can fix."

The Uchiha couple had only just decided on a name for their heir, and Natsumi spent a few moments mentally connecting the dots after snickering over the little 'weasel'. Uchiha Itachi was the one blackmailed by Danzō to butcher his clan just to save his younger brother, then went to join the criminal version of Akatsuki until his death/suicide by younger brother.

She really did need to do something about that old goat, but he and his mockery version of ANBU were scarily hard to find.

Uchiha Itachi was another genius that Konohagakure no Sato failed miserably, just like Kakashi. Just… he went so much farther than the assassin's pseudo littlest brother in how much he destroyed of himself just for the village's sake.

Natsumi made a couple plans to introduce the two geniuses if she survived that long. She, Minato, and Shikaku helped Kakashi out and he was pretty level for a genius child, so the silver haired son of her old ANBU captain should be able to continue that for the Uchiha heir.

The assassin tuned back into the conversation as Kushina told them all they were mean.

"…we're kunoichi. Of course we're mean." Blinking her mismatched ghost eyes at the redhead, the ANBU captain smirked again. "Why haven't you figured that out yet?"

\V/

Natsumi could juggle a baby with her academy oversight duties well enough, even watch her putter around in a stationary position as she dealt with her ANBU paperwork.

Teaching fūinjutsu with Hana around was another matter.

Thankfully, Komushi was only now getting into the actual practice of inking his own inactive seals four months into his apprenticeship. The assassin wasn't sure what the three of them were going to do when her Sand chūnin student got into actually inking his own active seals. If Shibi had mission while Tsume needed to build up her physical skills in the training fields, and Natsumi wasn't taking her baby goddaughter around live explosive seals inked by an amateur… something else needed to be worked out soon.

The assassin was just happy she wasn't trying to manage her usual assassination mission work to boot.

Maybe Minato had a point, she was probably doing too much.

With baby Hana propped up using Kuromaru's side as a backrest on her porch, Natsumi started her lecture on ink types in seals to her wide-eyed apprentice.

"Now, inks and their uses in fūinjutsu. What do you know of ink and it's composition?"

Komushi blinked for a moment. "Uh… it's black?"

The assassin froze, staring at her student and trying to keep any expression of horror to herself.

"And wet? We add water to it."

Natsumi ran a hand down her face. "Oh kami-sama, I'm forever sorry for what I've done to deserve this… wait, no I'm not. It was something I probably did to Minato or Shikaku… never mind."

Her baby goddaughter gurgled to herself, pulling on tuffs of her mother's patient nin-dog's fur as the ANBU captain recollected herself.

"Okay… well, you're not _entirely_ wrong about that." Natsumi allowed, digging through her supplies of calligraphy equipment for her inksticks. "Ink is black some of the time, and we do sometimes add water to it."

At least he hadn't just said they wrote with ink, the assassin would have had to hurt him.

"Ink is basically water and charcoal… or better yet, the mineral known as carbon produced by burning a few ingredients until they don't continue to burn. It can be colored, but we generally stick to black inks because the dyes and pigments can be a little strange when used in fūinjutsu." Snagging one of the half used sticks, the ANBU captain brought it out and snapped it into pieces. "Now, most inks are made by burning pine, either the wood or sap, but a few are made out of animal products when binding it into a stick for future use. I advise you to avoid them, animal bits in ink can throw off the seal attempted by a fair bit."

Natsumi hurried into the next bit, not at all interested in getting into why that was in such an open position.

She explained, patiently because Komushi could be a bit of an idiot sometimes, of the composition in inks and the methods behind charging it with chakra. Then the process of imbuing ink with chakra. "We're starting with solid pieces so I can gauge how much you're putting in. This won't hold, your chakra will decompose my inkstick bits fast, but for a practical demonstration behind placing some chakra into ink it is fine for now. Doing this with liquid ink is actually a bit harder for you and me, because our chakra just wants to flow around the water in the ink and not attach to the carbon inside. You'd think it'd be easier, but the water will end up evaporating once the ink dries and then the chakra in our seals have a problem of dissipating rapidly if that happens."

Doton users had it easier, minerals just loved them. Stupidly lucky sensei.

It was probably also cheaper for her poor student to learn this way, because he was living off both her charity and his Kazekage's generosity while in Konohagakure. Inksticks in the quality an fūinjutsu user needed were expensive.

"But… shishou, don't you use blood in your ink?" The Sand ninja asked as he took the bits of charcoal in hand.

"Normally yes. I prefer it. So does Jiraiya-sensei. Kushina-hime has another method all Uzumaki's use that is more effective, but we both can't do, because she's fire natured and she can get away with that. Minato will probably change his preferences to that type of ink as well as soon as the hime finishes teaching him. But blood spiked ink is a lot more powerful than normal carbon ink when it's holding chakra. For learning it's not only safer to do it this way, but less stressful for you."

Komushi still had a crease between his brows.

"Meaning you won't go through a half, or up to a full, pint of blood every day trying to get this right."

Her student blanched.

Natsumi smirked grimly. "Guess who found that out the hard way. I know what I'm doing, Komushi. Trust me."

The darkly tanned teen nodded hurriedly. "Hai, shishou. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, just ask. It's the point of learning under a master. We know and went through the stupid mistakes so you don't have to. Now, sit over there and try to press some of your chakra into the charcoal."

The Sand ninja moved to do so, settling on the far end of the porch. "Why am I over here, shishou?"

"Because when you get it wrong, and you will get it wrong the first few times, there will be exploding bits of charcoal flying about. This way Hana-chan's behind me."

Komushi suddenly looked less excited for this bit of his fūinjutsu lessons, and much more wary of the bits of pressed burnt coal in his hands. "Exploding?"

"Komushi, you're putting something volatile into a physical thing that isn't designed to hold it safely nor strong enough to actually do so for any decent amount." Natsumi shifted around, checking that she was covering her goddaughter's tiny form from any possible flying bits of coal. Hana had only gotten to the push-up stage of babyhood so far, so it was up to her and Kuromaru to protect her from beginner mistakes. "Chakra tends to explode things it isn't designed or adapted to work with, that's why explosive seals are so tricky and elemental jutsus can go a bit wrong when you try them the first few times. You're basically forcing an overly active energy type into the bonds of another object. That energy will force it apart if you put too much into it that it can't hold. Hence the exploding."

"So if I do it wrong it will explode, but not if I do it right?"

"Pretty much, but this will let you get a sense of how much to put into it before you reach that threshold." The assassin quirked a wry smile for her poor student. "And that is why inks holding chakra degrades quicker than normal ink, as a physical force outside the originating human's body it's caustic, and we sometimes have to touch up our inked seals. Blood has chakra in it naturally, which is why sensei and I like to use it. Blood spiked ink is also easier to make up on the spot when in a pinch. It's designed to hold chakra, so it does so much better than anything else you could use and in greater quantities than anything short of the Uzumaki method. But bloody ink isn't something to start learning with, the explosions are a whole lot worse if you screw that up."

Her Sand student nodded to show he understood, gripping the bits of his teacher's inkstick in hand.

"Just be glad you're not starting with an inkbottle. I still have scars on my hands from trying that."

Natsumi probably shouldn't say things like that… but he looked so spooked at the idea it was funny.

Hey, he was going to shower her in exploded bits of coal for the rest of the morning. It was just preemptive revenge.

(ooo000ooo)

After Komushi was forced through a shower and she took one herself, because they had been covered in fine coal dust and she didn't want that tracked through the house, the darkly tanned teenager asked her a question as she cooked lunch.

"Shishou? Why… what is the Uzumaki method? And why can't we do it if it is so much better than using blood?"

Natsumi paused in checking her miso soup. She had been forced into making more traditional Elemental Country fair than her usual mash of past and new acquired favorites she normally had done before gaining a student. "Are you sure you want to know? It requires a bit of a history lesson to explain, and a fair bit more of elemental natures than you'll probably have use for. I can't do it because of my chakra nature, and it isn't likely you'll get to do it either. Water isn't very compatible to fire."

"Yes." He might be a slight bit damp, but the Suna ninja looked determined to get an answer. The assassin thought it was almost as cute as Nawaki or Koichi demanding the reasons behind her telling them their homework answers were wrong.

The ANBU captain sighed and set her fish broth to simmer, checking Hana reflexively to ensure the cleaned up baby in a basket was having fun trying to feed herself with a warm bottle of milk. She might have been in Natsumi's shadow all morning, but even she didn't escape the lesson without any black streaks. Kuromaru had been exiled outside until he shook all the carbon out of his fur.

"Okay, what do you know of the former Land of Whirlpool?"

"It was an island off the coast of Fire Country, and fūinjutsu masters normally lived there. A member of the Uzumaki clan was usually the leader of their Hidden Village until the fall of Whirlpool happened."

"Succinct, but correct." Natsumi sat across from her student, as this might get into being a long conversation, and helped Hana with her bottle. "Whirlpool was pretty much reliant on the Land of Fire for most things, such as trade and foodstuffs, because we were the closest to them and did have strong ties to their ruling class. The shinobi village there also practically covered the whole island, it was literally a Hidden Island not a Hidden Village. That being said, Whirlpool had a fire dominant nature to their shinobi's chakra nature, unlike what many assume from the name of the land, because the residents of Fire that traveled there and decided to continue living on the island married into its' population."

"So the Uzumaki way of chakra imbuing ink deals with fire nature chakra?"

"Yep. The phrase 'reborn anew from fiery death' ring a bell?"

Komushi looked like he'd been poleaxed. "That's where it comes from?"

"Probably." Natsumi was actually of the opinion they just adopted it, but her past history wasn't on the table right now. "Fire, as an element itself, is almost alive. It breathes, it eats, and it can die. It can't think, which is the only reason fire isn't considered completely alive in and of itself. This subject deals with its' destructive ability to eat. When you feed a fire, what is left?"

"Charcoal, which we use in ink."

"That's all that's left when done right, Komushi. Fire will consume everything else, and it rids the resulting carbon from whatever else there was in it by belching what little is left into the air as smoke. Any bit of natural energy left, anything else besides the unburnable carbon, fire removes it all from what it eats until it's clean." The ANBU captain smirked wickedly at the dawning expression on her student's face. "Now, we just got done covering the topic of Whirlpool's, and by process of association, the Uzumaki clan's fire dominant nature. What do you think happens in the Uzumaki method?"

"They use fire jutsu to make their ink."

"To be more specific, the individual seal user uses their own fire natured chakra to make their own inks. That process leaves an echo of their chakra in the resulting charcoal, since it was their chakra that imbued the fire that produced it in the first place, to draw any more chakra to it and help with retention. So they didn't need the blood to improve the chakra containing feature of their inks, it typically is that way once they turn that carbon into ink. Ink made that way is also much better than the stock stuff we just buy, because you can hold chakra produced fire to a burning object and ensure it's clean of anything else. So you and I will mainly use blood because we don't have a fire nature to us, and because suiton and katon do not mix well and I can't light a katon jutsu to save my life. Minato might end up developing some fire affinity, I know he and Kushina-hime are trying to get him set up in making his own ink that way and are currently attempting to figure out what it does to his sealing script methods. Sensei, who started with a earth nature and then spread to water and fire, just doesn't want to use that for his own seals because then he'd have to change how he inks them and he's claiming he's too set in his ways to do that now."

Komushi gapped, Natsumi reached across and nudged his jaw shut with a calloused finger.

"So if that was all the questions you had for me, I'm going to finish up lunch."

Her Sand-nin student did his funny little squeak thing, and bent to his calligraphy work again with wide eyes.

\V/

The most interesting thing about taking on a tactical advisory position of the whole ANBU Division was that Panther now knew every ANBU agent, their specializations, and preferred squad if not working partners.

She was also working elbow to elbow with Bear-sama, screening missions that were tossed up to ANBU and picking out which ones were practically suicide to go on. A few of those were approved anyways, and Panther then worked out stupidly tricky ways the agents involved carrying it out might survive. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

After a few of her suggestions resulted in suicide mission returns, she was getting pretty popular in headquarters.

Horse, the seduction turned medic-nin kunoichi that worked under both ANBU captains Wolf and Panther and probably another before them, decided to retire. Given she had been in ANBU longer than her current captain had been alive, the second time around, and the squad was on downtime for the moment, no one argued. She had also trained up another medic on the sly, claiming to Panther's mask that she didn't trust her captain not to get injured doing something stupid, and now Mouse was the medic for Panther's squad.

The assassin had kicked Boar off his chair for laughing at her. Bat had been still smarting from the Kiri mission he'd been thrust to on Fox's squad, and had held in whatever amusement he felt. Mouse just dithered in the corner until Panther told the other kunoichi to sit down, she was giving her a headache.

Horse was now working in the academy as the medic on call, and the iryou-nin on staff to teach, and both the ANBU captain and Head Medic of Konohagakure almost kissed the other kunoichi. Koura Ryoko, the retired ANBU medic's real name, was pretty popular herself for agreeing to teach the assassin's academy brats in her old age.

She was old too, Ryoko survived ANBU for over twenty years after joining around age sixteen. The almost forty-five-year-old, officially chūnin ranked, ex-ANBU kunoichi could mother Natsumi's academy students like no other. Even compared to her old captain herself.

The assassin might be a little in awe of her. Jagged scars on one side of her face or not, Koura Ryoko was an epic kunoichi of Konohagakure.

Bear also took a leaf out of the Hokage's book and dumped ANBU training on her. Panther couldn't really see anything wrong with the methods that used, but amused herself by popping up occasionally and scaring the piss out of the trainees.

She got the ANBU General in on it a few times, too.

By the time her confinement to Konoha was over, Panther didn't immediately take the first assassination mission on her desk. She gave it to Jackal, who wasn't the same man she had once known because apparently that shinobi had died in service but a new infiltrator that could do assassinations if needed. Then wondered aloud exactly how many other ANBU agents could do her freaking job as well as their own.

She couldn't understand why Bear had laughed so hard at her for it, either.

\V/

Natsumi's first mission, after taking on a student and the ANBU penalty was repaid in deskwork, was a diplomatic week-long one to Suna.

She almost banged her head against the Hokage's desk when he asked her to take it on. It might be a little insulting, he claimed, as it was only a C-ranked mission but it would be good for relations if she did it.

She really should've taken the assassination mission when she had the chance.

Natsumi accepted it anyways, and told Komushi if he wanted to visit his home he needed to get his crap together.

"Stop laughing."

Shikaku grinned at his irritable wife, tugging on the braided end of her hair. "Yet again, a laugh is verbalized. Not laughing, Natsu."

The assassin graced him with a glare. "Then stop smirking at me, Shika. You're a freaking _ass_ for picking on me like this."

"I'm not the one that has a diplomatic mission to my student's home village."

Natsumi smacked his knee, just because she could and it was in reach. "If Tsume-"

"I'll watch your goddaughter if needed, don't worry." The Nara clan head stretched out on the porch as the two of them waited for the Suna resident of the house to collect himself, folding his arms over his head to prop it up. "And if Mikoto goes into labor I'll get Minato to send you word, too. And yes, I'll keep an ear out for the academy for you. Anything else, dear?"

The ANBU captain pouted. "Not nice, Shika."

"Well, it's not as if you can kick me out of bed for a night or two."

Natsumi finally huffed a laugh, as she never had actually acted on that threat. It was his fault for making the bed warmer when he was in it than just her alone. "I finished the crib for Mikoto, you'll need to give it to her."

"Then I'll do so, after savoring the lack of explosions happening from Komushi attempting to put chakra into his ink."

Snorting, the assassin smacked her husband's knee again. "You should've heard Minato and I try at first, I almost scared myself off seals doing it."

The shadow master caught her hand that time, rubbing a thumb over the more spikey scars there. "You scarred yourself, you mean. I heard about the inkbottle."

"Yeah, because you were standing in the freaking doorway. I saw that."

"Shishou?"

Natsumi smiled up at her out-of-breath apprentice. "Ready? I'll take us three days to get there and back again, but we can spend a night in Suna. So I hope you planned for it."

Komushi nodded, almost unable to contain his excitement to see his home after nearly half a year. "I know."

Shikaku tugged on her hand to redirect her attention. "Be careful. I know the way between our two villages is pretty safe, but that just means it's the best place to set up an ambush."

"Who's the assassin here? I know, Shika." The show of concern earned him a kiss anyways. "And now that you've said something you just know something is going to happen, right?"

"And now that you said something about something happening, it won't happen." Shikaku continued in a deadpan as she was getting up to leave the Nara compound for a week with her student. "But I'm a dastardly person, indeed, for showing worry for my wife. Oh, woe is me."

"Shut up, Shika."

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi only spoke up once the brown dome-like buildings of Sunagakure was in sight. "Komushi, a moment please."

The Sand chūnin skidded to a halt and bolted back to her side. "Shishou?"

"I know you're going to be tempted to show off," the assassin started delicately, "and I understand the urge. I do. But, since you still can't get the ink thing just right yet, I would like to be present before you try any of the things I've taught you about fūinjutsu here."

Komushi rocked back on his heels in surprise.

"Not that I don't trust you to be careful, but the art of sealing is very volatile in the early stages and this is the part that kills so many." She hurried on to say, as this would be a rather sore test of the teenager's tolerance for her orders in the face of his peers. They hadn't had to test this in Konohagakure, the chūnin didn't have any good friends there yet. "So you can show off, but just please come get me first."

Her student thought about that even as he nodded.

"And you can use me or any of the others you know in Leaf to scare off anyone trying to taunt you into showing off without me."

Komushi lit up like she had promised to allow him to copy every seal in her workshop, and the hard ball of uncertainty in her chest loosened up a bit.

Natsumi was rather fond of her student, he was funny to play with.

She would hate to have to break in another student.

The slightly attached to him thing was kinda annoying too, when thinking about the varied many ways he could die.

(ooo000ooo)

The unintended consequence of asking her student to fetch her before showing off was a rapid series of knocks early the next morning.

Natsumi blearily opened the door to the suite she had been given to use for a night, scowling down at her wide-eyed apprentice. "What, Komushi? The sun hasn't risen yet."

"Sorry, shishou. Kazekage-sama wants to see what I've learned."

Well… okay then. "You'll be using my supplies. Go fetch them while I clean up."

The assassin yawned wide enough to crack one of the tendons in her jaw and dug around her travel pack for a hair brush.

Komushi dug around the equipment piled in the corner for the sealing scroll his teacher kept her calligraphy supplies in. "Why am I using your things, shishou?"

"Simply? Because they're better than what you can afford to learn with." Heavy, long hair meant large knots in said hair when it snarled. Was it any wonder she preferred to keep it all braided? "And just that much finer, so it's slightly easier to use."

Since the ANBU captain didn't bother to undress the whole way if not at home, all she really had to do was deal with her hair and snag her sandals before being mostly ready, if a little unarmed for her peace of mind. She did also grab her kimono-like Nara clan jacket, because her paler skin would burn pretty easily once the sun really rose for the day.

Komushi lead them both to the training field Suna's kage was waiting in, and Natsumi dropped to the ground next to the Third Wind Shadow. "Kazekage-sama. Good morning."

"Good morrow, Natsumi-sama."

The assassin was perfectly content to leave the talking at that, because Satoshi-sama was apparently a man of few words around foreign ninja and she could roll with that.

Chiyo-baa-sama wasn't. "Come to watch your student and ensure he doesn't spill any Leaf secrets, Natsumi-chan?"

"Mhmm. Something like that." The ANBU captain replied, amused at the light accusation. "But given that all the Leaf secrets Komushi knows are about fūinjutsu, I think it's going to be patiently obvious he knows more than his fair share."

Something she said made the puppet master kunoichi cackle, rubbing her hands together as they waited on Komushi to finish inking whatever he was working on.

Natsumi was of the opinion the older woman was a slight bit cracked in the head. What that really meant, since she wasn't a stellar example of sanity herself, was still up in the air.

"Natsumi-dono." Sasori spoke up from the assassin's other side with a respectful nod of the head. "Komushi has written to me about your carving hobby. Is furniture all you make with your skill?"

"Pretty much. I've done some wooden game boards and pieces over the years, too. And a few statues if asked, but those are few and far between."

The younger puppet master drew her into a conversation on wood types and where they were located, which took up the rest of the time until Komushi finished and set the explosive tag he had made on a rock. Then he darted back to his sealing master's side, and handed back her supplies with a smile.

"Would you like to set it off, shishou?"

"Well… it is your seal, Komushi. You should have the honor."

Natsumi patiently inspected the tools her student had used, checking for any damage that he shouldn't still be doing to her brushes.

"Oh, set it off already!" Chiyo snapped, impatient. "We get it. It's an actual seal tag, not a mistake!"

The assassin laughed and nodded to the Suna chūnin for him to go ahead.

Komushi flexed his chakra in the tag's direction, and the resulting explosion pressed the air back into the spectators.

Natsumi admired the height it got to, admitting to herself explosive seals were a great way to wake up. Too bad not a lot of other ninja shared her view on them.

"I don't believe that was Konoha standard, Komushi. Was that one of my designs?"

"Hai, shishou. You gave me one to copy when I was practicing my calligraphy."

"Ah. I knew that was probably going to bite me in the ass. But, you adapted it for yourself very well. I'm impressed."

Komushi grinned.

\V/

Uchiha Itachi wasn't nearly as well-mannered as Mikoto maintained he was.

The brat couldn't even wait until Natsumi got back to Konoha, he decided to be born when the assassin had been two days away from the village proper. Only a little into the month of June, Mikoto went into labor and baby Itachi had been born.

She was still annoyed with him a week later.

Natsumi hadn't been the only one to miss the Uchiha heir's birth, Fugaku had been swapped out with Hiashi in Earth and missed his first born son's entry into the world.

Tsume gave the Uchiha matron some of the practical tips of baby life she had figured out, and Kushina practically moved in with her best kunoichi friend to help out as well.

Natsumi… ended up babysitting even more often than she had been.

She wasn't even Itachi's godmother.

More alarming that unexpected baby duty, someone had tried to break into the Nara clan head's home while the assassin was gone with her student and Shikaku had been gone on a mission. The night before Natsumi and Komushi were due home.

Needless to say… they wouldn't be trying anything else. Ever.

"I'd say I'm sorry about it… but, you know. I'm not."

Inoichi rubbed the bridge of his nose. "To be bluntly honest Natsumi, neither am I. This is Shikaku's home just as much as yours, and either of you could have been the target. However… there is the question of why you have lethal seals on your home."

"Uh… the assassination attempt on my life? Ring a bell?" The assassin bounced baby Itachi in her arms, a little annoyed at being the dumping ground for babies among her so called 'generation'. "My specialization means I am uncomfortably aware of how easy it is to kill people in their own homes. And an attempt has happened to me here. Shikaku suggested creating my own security seals so I'd feel safe after Iwa and Kumo made an attempt at my head."

The Yamanaka clan head nodded to show he accepted that reasoning, then eyed her and the expression she was showing. "You know this baby thing is because you're an assassin too, right? Tsume and Mikoto feel safe leaving their children to someone that has proved to be an assassination deterrent and very tricky to kill. If it can't be them, it might as well be with the best guard for assassins we've got."

Natsumi blinked, then wrinkled her nose at him. "Yeah, it's a Tsunade-sama situation. I got it. _Rawr, I is scary_ and all that. I'm allowed to be annoyed, they could've just asked."

Itachi had a fistful of her loose hair, and started tugging. Exploring the properties of an assassin's hair, and how many different ways he could make knots in it.

Inoichi laughed at the both of them as he freed her hair. "I'll list the incident as justifiable paranoia, then."

"It's not being paranoid if they are really out to get you."

He snorted. "I'll keep that in mind, Natsumi."

"Why are you here, anyways?" The assassin dug a hand around in the baby stuff Mikoto dropped Itachi off with, when the older Uchiha wanted time to retrain her own body for kunoichi work again and needed a new babysitter since Kushina was out on mission. Why were bottles so hard to grip? "Not that I don't mind seeing you, but it's been a while since we last talked one on one."

"Someone made the accusation of seeing the beginning signs of insanity in you. I can't figure out who, but…"

"Yeah, okay." Natsumi frowned thoughtfully. "That really could've been anyone. I know I pissed a fair few people and clan elders off with the academy thing. But wow… insanity? That's a bit… harsh."

"Which is why I don't believe it was entirely due to the academy situation." Inoichi informed her with all due seriousness. "You had to have torqued someone's nerves harshly for that accusation to reach me. I might watch your psychology file pretty closely, but I do the same for all major clan members and shinobi of interest for the village."

The assassin blinked a few times at her second favorite blond in her life. "Wow… didn't know that. Hey… do you know why Orochimaru-sama keeps turning down invitations to spend time with us? He's dropped out of the Uchiha chakra study crowd, even if that's become more of a hobby than any real research group."

"Stop changing the subject, Natsumi, and tell me who you pissed off. I know you know."

"I think… it was another assassination attempt, this time possibly by… Shimura Danzō." At least, he was the only one in the village that might actually have the balls to try and kill her even if the Hokage allowed her to be disruptive right under his nose. "I have no proof, and I probably never will. However… he just freaks me out sometimes."

Inoichi simply patiently waited for the rest of it.

"Okay, do you know of ROOT?"

The blond's shake of the head wasn't all that surprising.

"It's basically an open secret in ANBU. One of the Village Elders has his own black ops division. Sometimes, the missions we turn down because of whatever reason is picked up by an organization called _Ne_. Now, no one knows for sure who it is that controls ROOT, but I think it's Shimura. I've been tweaking his nose a little, trying to figure it out."

Inoichi frowned, processing that and what he knew of the assassin he was sitting with. "Why?"

"Because… I've heard horror stories of ROOT. Of how they train their agents. And if that kind of crap is really going on in Konoha, I want to rip out Shimura's guts and let them spill across the floor."

"Define horror stories."

Natsumi shifted around, not entirely keen on talking about it with Itachi in the room. Even if he was way too young to recall this kind of memory later. At least they were in the Nara clan head's study, and the room was practically plastered with secrecy and security seals. "Like they are raised with another ninja for the training part… only to be forced to kill them later on to kill their emotions. That kind of crap. I've told you about the prisoner camps of World War Two, that's pretty much the same level of sick as this."

The interrogator's face blanked. "Why hasn't the Hokage-"

"I don't think he buys the rumors. For all Hiruzen-sama knows, it's just ANBU being pissed that our prerogatives are being usurped. And they really are only rumors, it could totally be that ANBU is getting pissy. There hasn't been any confirmed story about what goes on in ROOT I've been able to check or even track down."

Inoichi processed that for a long moment. "So, you've been poking a hornet's nest. Trying to see what comes out to sting you?"

The assassin shrugged uncomfortably. "It's not like I can go up to the Village Elder and tell him I think he's a sick motherfucker, now spill all the secrets so I can judge him for it. And if he is taking advantage of Hiruzen-sama's leniency over the black ops work of the village, I'm going to kill him."

"No… no I don't think that would be a good idea." The Yamanaka rubbed his face with a huffed laugh. "Okay. You have a problem going off and doing things without telling anyone about it. Try and fix that."

"Sure."

"And the revenge streak, it's getting a little overly sadistic in nature."

"Well… that's a bit hard to manage with all the positive reinforcement I've been getting."

"Try and fix it, Natsumi. Or more therapy. Anger management this time."

Pouting, she nodded.

Inoichi waited until he got verbal confirmation before continuing. "And I'll look into the body. Maybe it'll tell us something."

"It won't be there. That's how it always goes." Natsumi scowled a little to herself, thinking of her varied and many attempts to figure out the ROOT thing herself. "I get somewhat close to figuring out either way what is going on, and whatever I'm working on disappears."

The newly promoted Head Interrogator jerked a little in surprise. "What?"

"I can't break into whatever is going on, Inoichi. And you know I wouldn't make a fuss unless it's important." Like to the baby in her arms. This was his future she was trying to resolve without having to dump it on his way-too-young head.

She was running out of prep time.

"Okay, then I'll start looking into it on my end. Can I tell Minato and Shikaku?"

"Yeah, I figured you would."

(ooo000ooo)

Inoichi let himself into the bar, making a bee line straight to the shinobi waiting for him. "Whatever your wife is afraid of, Shika, it's not village related."

Jiraiya slapped down a seal to conceal whatever information would be spoken of. "Got anything interesting out of neko-chan anyways?"

"A few things. _Ne_ , for one."

"I'm not surprised she's trying to tackle that." The white haired sannin tugged a massive hand through his unruly hair. "If whatever she heard was anything like what I've heard, it has to be nasty."

"You knew?"

"Of course I know, Inoichi. I'm the spy." Jiraiya stuck his nose in the air at his old student's surprise. "However, there is little to no real proof anything is actually going on. It's all rumors and hearsay."

The interrogator slumped. "I didn't want to believe her about it, but when I went back to take a look at the body that resulted of her seal work… it was gone like she said it would be."

"Okay…" Minato looked between his old teammate and his sensei. "What is ROOT?"

"Basically?" Jiraiya started, uncharacteristically serious. "A subdivision of ANBU, controlled by Shimura Danzō. It reports to him only, too. So there isn't an oversight on what it does or what happens to who's in it."

"So, Natsumi was right in guessing who controlled it."

"Not surprised, she's a sharp one."

Shikaku leaned forward to catch the sannin's attention. "What did you mean by 'what happens to who's in it'?"

The Toad Sage set down his saucer of sake. "In that most of the rumors, the bad ones, deal with how ROOT agents are trained."

"Raised with another, then forced to kill them." Inoichi finished, recalling that bit of his previous conversation. "To kill off their emotions."

"Danzō's a throwback to the Warring States Era ninja mentality. He believes a shinobi should not feel. At all." Jiraiya grimaced himself, thinking about it. "That was well before we had a village to protect. When shinobi were living tools raised and sworn to the service of noblemen and then killed off as easily as breathing. That kind of mentality won't work in this day and age, not now that we're living side by side with civilians and are sworn to protect them and not just a noble patron. But that's what Danzō believes, so that's how the rumors claim he trains his ROOT Division."

Minato had a rather disgusted expression on his face. "How would he get away with that?"

"Cause the old man's a bit too forgiving to his old friends." The Master Spy hunched over his sake with a scowl. "Hiruzen-sensei won't hear of anything against Danzō, and there really isn't any proof to show him. They fought in the First and Second War together, were students of the Senju brothers we know as the First and Second Hokages. That's a whole lot of history for Danzō to hide behind, and it was only recently these rumors started. I've been trying to get sensei to open his eyes a little and start asking questions about it, and apparently neko-chan saw that and decided irrefutable proof either way was the way to go."

The interrogator heave a sigh. "I can see that. It would take overwhelming proof for me to think Minato was doing something that horrible when I thought otherwise."

The blond in question echoed the sigh. "Okay. If that's not what sempai is starting to panic over, what is it she's so worried about?"

"It's something related." Inoichi told his fellow shinobi. "But not specifically that."

"Not something to do with children." Shikaku added easily. "She's not pushing to have a child now and not later, and she isn't silently fretting over the academy or her goddaughter."

"So, not something in the immediate future." Jiraiya ended for them. "Probably not for two or more years. I can't think of anything about the war that would concern her."

"Maybe it's something she doesn't entirely understand yet? Sempai won't give an opinion if she can't."

Jiraiya tapped his fingers on the table in a random pattern. "She wouldn't worry if she didn't understand. And whatever it is has a set time limit. All her projects end after a certain amount of time, or she's planning to pick them up again after something happens."

Minato frowned slightly, but had to give his sensei that one. "Something to do with another country? Kiri maybe."

"Natsumi hates Mist, she wouldn't worry over them." Inoichi blinked at the expressions he got. "What? She does."

Shikaku gave his best friend a sideways look. "How do you know that?"

"The mission we lost our jōnin team leader in, and when some kunoichi scarred your face. Natsumi found out that they were from Kirigakure no Sato last year. The phrase 'rot in hell' was used when I asked her about it."

Snorting, the white haired sannin shook his head. "I'm not at all surprised. Neko-chan can be very vicious."

"As long as it hadn't happened to her, then she's just way too forgiving." Minato amended. "Like assassination attempts."

"I think, since B was flirting with my wife, the fact you're more disturbed by it than me is concerning." Shikaku commented lazily, a grin sneaking across his face.

The blond fūinjutsu user flipped the shadow master off.

"I'm pretty sure there's a few terms for such complexes, Minato." Inoichi added with a smirk of his own. "She's your sister, remember."

Minato opened his mouth to protest, though a moment, then shut it with a scowl. "You all can rot in hell."

"Alright boys, behave." Jiraiya peeled up the scripted slip of paper and it disappeared back into his weapon pouch. "At least we know what she's doing right now."

"Playing poke the bear?"

"Maybe poke the bear in his empty eye socket, but yeah."

Inoichi rubbed at his temple. "That was not an image I need in my head, Minato."

Shikaku started laughing. "I can totally see her doing it, though."

\V/

Hatake Eri was freaking awesome.

The civilian woman was currently watching two baby heirs of two different clans while Natsumi helped Komushi decided how to approach scripting his own fūinjutsu in her yard.

The assassin's thought, so long ago when she first started, that fūinjutsu was like her old half-forgotten computer programming was a more apt comparison than anything else she could have used from this life.

Mainly because of seal keys.

A key to a seal was everything an fūinjutsu user didn't script into the actual seal itself. Like a computer program's scripted processes that are referenced in the program itself repeatedly, but only written in the very bottom of any program once. A key to a seal was done once and you could then use the kanji or sigil anytime you wanted later. It was partially why you could copy other seals and have them work half as well as the original fūinjutsu user, the key for those symbols or sigils were in existence and your chakra inherently knew that since the copier probably practiced a few times with the original seal that used the key in question. However to be better than just okay at sealing, you had to make your own.

Natsumi's King of the Raging Seas and Roar of the Thunder God sigils were seal 'programs', whose keys were held by one of her Leopards that didn't like to be Summoned. Since she was water natured, her chakra didn't like to explode easily. The King of the Raging Seas took every scrap of water natured energy it was in range of and added that to its' starting chakra and compressed it all. Then it handed over the process to another sigil, Roar of the Thunder God. Since water wasn't inherently combustible, Roar of the Thunder God converted the water natured energy into lightning. Lightning was naturally combustible, it did so frequently.

However since Komushi still ended up exploding the odd inkbottle, not nearly as violently as when he started but enough to shatter them, Natsumi had only verbally gone over the topic as he practiced.

All the while wincing every time another of the wooden practice jars was sacrificed to the kami of fūinjutsu practice.

That deity had to have a lot of jars by now. Natsumi just wondered what use all her writing tables were being put to.

Maybe holding all the jars?

"…your tables?"

"Well… where do you think I got all that furniture from when you kept putting holes through them?"

Minato blinked a few times, not even flinching when the next jar of water laced carbon shattered into pieces. "You mean you carved all the replacements you got for me over the years?"

"How do you think I got so good at it that I can carve cribs?" The assassin huffed, scowling a little at her sometimes thick kouhai. "You gave me a lot of practice at it."

"You should've told me that!" He threw up his hands in exasperation, bringing them down a moment later just to rub his face. "I would've stopped putting holes through your tables!"

Natsumi nibbled on her lower lip, accidently biting through it when the next jar broke with a crack. "It's better for your spine to sit up straight. You would've had back problems by age thirty if you hunched over anything else over the years. At least with a table you wouldn't stress your back too much."

He sighed, slumping back against the tree they were leaning against. "You… are something else, sempai."

The assassin sucked on the injury she just gave herself. "I'm going to take that as a compliment, or I'd hurt you for the insult."

Minato narrowed his eyes into the distance after the next jar split down the middle but didn't break. "How did you get enough money to pay for all that wood? I remember going through three or four tables every week back then."

"One, ANBU pays a lot of money for assassinations. And two… I might have pulled some ryo from taicho to afford the extra wood I needed."

"… _what?_ "

"Oh shush. I told him it was dango money." She flapped a hand in his direction as the next jar shattered but mostly held together. "And while I do like dango, I don't like it that much. So I had extra built up from getting paid for explaining ninja life to Eri-kaa-san. I used that to help replace the tables once I decided to start carving them myself. It ended up being cheaper to carve them than buy even secondhand tables to replace yours with."

Her almost brother thought about that. "Okay… still surprising, but I can see why. So, one."

"One what?"

"I made it back to Konohagakure once from the war deployments, so far."

"Ah." Natsumi turned her head to address her student. "Komushi, go home. This is something that will take practice, and chakra exhaustion won't help."

The Sand chūnin slumped, cleaning up all the ink soaked wooden shards in the linen sheet he was practicing on. "Hai, shishou."

The assassin waited until the darkly tanned teen got out of sight before digging into her weapon pouch for a security seal. Minato beat her to it.

"Okay. Which one first? The story of the pine tree I kept jumping off of as a child, or the first day of my civilian school?"

Her blond kouhai grinned. "The pine."

"There was a pine tree in my backyard, and it had sweeping branches that touched the ground. I decided, around the age of six, that it seemed like a good idea to climb it because everyone climbs trees. I got about half way up, and accidently let go at the wrong time. I fell off the tree about fifteen feet up, crashed through the thinner branches, and rolled to a stop on the ground because the branches were that wide. I decided that was much better than climbing a tree, and kept doing it until my mother found me at it. She screamed bloody murder at my tiny form falling, and scolded me for jumping off a high perch. I kept doing it even after, because it was still so much better than just climbing a tree."

\V/

Midsummer, about the time Itachi was starting in on catching up to Hana in the baby push-up competition, the second third of Konohagakure no Sato's jōnin rotated back in and the last third rotated back out. The heavy combat specialists and spies that hadn't gone with the first third were now taking up the fighting in Earth proper. Meaning the first third, those that had gotten deployed for the fighting in Kusa, were up in taking on the mission work they had only been picking at before.

It wasn't uncommon for the jōnin Natsumi knew to run back to back B-ranked missions, take a few days off, then get an A-rank the moment they reported back in. Konoha needed the money, and their fellows needed the time off like they just enjoyed, so no one complained.

It did mean Komushi ended up the message holder for a fair few key personnel of Konohagakure. As a Sunagakure chūnin, he wasn't under the Hokage and couldn't be tasked with a mission unless it was an emergency. So everyone knew where he was, even if he did tend to explode when they startled him. However, in the half year he had been studying fūinjutsu under the jōnin kunoichi and ANBU captain Nara Natsumi, he qualified for temporary citizenship and was allowed to take messages even if it was slightly sensitive information.

Komushi thanked whichever deity it was that ensured he had been holding writing utensils long before he got stuck in such a position. Especially when the Toad Sage Jiraiya needed one of his students to meet up with him before the white haired sannin was due to leave for the Kumo border.

Natsumi tagged along, a little tired from an ANBU mission of her own but still watching baby Hana for Tsume.

The four of them snagged a table at a rather popular Akimichi barbeque restaurant, Hana in a high chair and gumming on tiny bits of pork Natsumi cut up for her.

"Right." Jiraiya slapped down a privacy seal, one that would just contain the conversation. "Minato, what do you know of senjutsu?"

"It takes a lot of meditation, and you learned from the Toads." He rattled off tiredly, rubbing at a purpling bruise on his chest. "It's actually the manipulation of natural energy, which if done wrong can turn someone into stone."

"Can you explain how you sense others' chakra?"

Minato peered at his fūinjutsu master questioningly. "With a hand on the ground. I can feel them."

Natsumi stabbed herself with the kunai she had been using, but ignored that to stare at the white haired sannin. "Really?"

Jiraiya rubbed his chin as he watched his shinobi student squawk at the stab wound his old kunoichi student with the odd circumstances just caused herself. "I think so."

Minato grabbed the wounded appendage and started wrapping it in a bandage he pulled from his vest, irritation creasing his brow. "What?"

"I think you're naturally using senjutsu to sense others." The sannin stated blandly. "At first I thought it was just really good doton senses, you could feel like the Iwa ninja do to sense underground shinobi. But you don't have much skill with doton, you haven't even gotten some of my mid-level jutsus down yet."

Minato flushed lightly. "I'm still learning! And… I thought you had to be taught to use senjutsu."

"Use, yes. Sense with? Maybe not."

His motion slowed down as more of his mind focused on what his teacher was saying. Natsumi tugged her still bleeding hand away to finish the patch job herself.

"It makes a bit of sense," she started as she tied off the bandage and put the rest back in her brother's vest pocket, "you've always been good with sensing how or why a jutsu will work for or against you. Maybe that's just part of whatever it is you can do."

"The next time our section has downtime, I want you to go talk with Ma and Pa Toad. See what they say about it." Jiraiya continued thoughtfully. "I might be wrong, but it would make a fair bit of sense like neko-chan thinks."

Minato just blinked at him.

"Don't worry." Natsumi patted her brother in all but blood on the chest. "Even if you're a freak of nature, we'll love you anyways. Right, Hana-chan?"

Baby-who-was-almost-toddler Inuzuka gurgled and grinned.


	11. Battlefield Triage and Betrayal

_No matter how bad a betrayal is, it is much better to deal with it all at once than let it happen again or drag out._

_Because the first option is like ripping a bandage off, the other is a festering wound that will never heal._

* * *

Natsumi jolted out of dead sleep, blearily blinking into the dark as the knock on her window repeated itself.

She made it out in her head. ANBU code, emergency mission summons. The 'get your ass up and go to HQ NOW' one.

Shikaku cursed vilely into his pillow, hearing the same coded summons, and let his wife go. The assassin guilty slunk out of bed, padding to the closet and grabbing her ANBU gear sealed into a scroll before slipping silently into the bathroom to get dressed.

They were all tired, having a third of the jōnin rank take on all the mission work above A-rank Konohagakure no Sato got meant they had gotten very little time to themselves since the switch over.

It would get better once the last third of jōnin coming back from Earth started picking up missions again, but for now everyone was running a bit too hard to keep tempers smooth. The fact they had a sudden influx of merchant protection missions to other countries hadn't helped any in the least.

Right now it was rather rare right now for the two of them to actually share a bed, usually Shikaku or Natsumi were gone on mission. The fact the first night in two months they could spend together had been interrupted by her ANBU work made her feel incredibly remorseful about it.

Everyone was practically counting the days until they were deployed off again, fighting the war was better than this. And internally vowing to pick up some of the slack sooner the next time they had downtime.

Panther sighed and put her mask on, checking to ensure the weapons she used for her ANBU work were the unmarked ones and not the ones bearing known Konoha's smith marks. That kind of crap was what made the ANBU ranks of the Leaf so notorious, so all the captains did spot checks on the others to make sure they weren't carrying anything that might lead back to the village.

She paused, looking back at the bedroom.

Should she at least go and say goodbye to her husband?

The assassin had caught a very vehement ' _fuck ANBU'_ from the other room just before she left it to go get dressed.

Given the few words she caught about ANBU in general before he let her up, it probably wouldn't be a great idea. Shikaku might still be highly annoyed by the summons that woke him up, and probably with her too.

Instead Panther slipped out of the house without a word, heading to the secondary ANBU headquarters entrance.

No reason not to be careful, after all.

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku already felt like an ass over how he treated his wife before her mission, he didn't need this too.

Having Natsumi leave silently in the middle of the night had been a horrible realization of how much she valued his opinion of her and what she did. A few ill-thought out words from him made her ashamed or sensitive enough over it to not come back and at least tell him goodbye. It hadn't mattered that they were all tired, as his best friend pointed out, she would probably take that at face value because it had been spoken of without a brain-type filter on his mouth.

Then there was the men in her life other than him. Inoichi was the king of guilt trips, in the way that didn't make you automatically hate the person doing the tripping. Minato was a scary brother-in-law-by-technicality, especially when he thought there was a slight against his sister-figure-since-childhood and froze your guts in terror of your continued life. That wasn't even counting Sakumo, the even more terrifying father-in-law-by-choice, or Jiraiya, who made a very believably perilous uncle-before-anyone-else.

They hadn't said anything to him yet beyond the irritated looks or the Yamanaka's chiding, but Shikaku's mind would let the issue drop.

Telling Komushi he didn't have a damned clue when his shishou would be back was like kicking a puppy.

It was the kunoichi contingent of Natsumi's friends that scared him though, they were outright terrifying when he had snapped at them.

The Nara clan head was pretty much avoiding them with all his skill until his wife came home and could do something about it.

Kushina might have made some threats over the continuation of his family line, and Shikaku was pretty sure Natsumi would want that intact even if she was mad at him for cursing out her usual work. That was also probably why the Whirlpool Princess was letting him get away with running in the opposite direction every time he saw her, too. Tsume had straight up snarled in his face, and given how much the scars there had already upset his wife he was avoiding the Inuzuka alpha on principle. Mikoto and Misaki both held the air of 'I am disappointed to know you' whenever they saw him.

Just thinking of seeing Eri's reaction, of Natsumi's mother-by-choice, about his words for ANBU in general made Shikaku cringe.

Kakashi was even picking up on the general air of ire in the Nara clan head's direction.

Having the ANBU teams that guarded the Hokage get snippy at him was just different shades of ridiculous.

The fact he and his team were there for a mission brief from Hiruzen-sama and not grandfatherly disappointment from their military leader notwithstanding. The older shinobi actually looked a little amused at his guards' irritation with him.

He almost blessed whichever kami had sent the ANBU agent in with a message from one of the ANBU captains about an emergency issue the Sandaime needed to hear.

Until Shikaku heard the message… and just which captain sent the agent for backup.

(ooo000ooo)

ANBU captain Panther… was a little busy at the moment.

_Duck, sidestep. Kawarimi with broken pillar piece and watch it get powdered under doton jutsu._

Natsumi had known, way back when she decided to try and save her precious people no matter what it took from her, that certain events and things she had known about might not work out in the same manner twice if she attempted anything. She had changed things just by being there, a lot unintentionally and some of it intentionally, which would mean later events and situations would change or might not happen.

_Backflip to wall, reposition on other side of room. Water bullets to attract attention._

At the time, she hadn't known all the results of her meddling. Or even a fraction of what would happen. Only after a few things smacked her upside the head did she realize her actions or non-actions had affected more than she could plan on.

_Parry, parry, and then slide away because connecting with that swing would've left her with no katana._

Like say, Orochimaru's experimentation on children with the honorable Hashirama-sama's genes.

_Kawarimi with table, attempt senbon throw to jugular and fail because he was a mud clone. Fuck._

Natsumi hadn't known how that worked out when the lab had been found, just that ANBU probably had been the first on the scene and it would be pretty horrifying for whichever squad it was.

_Get the hell out of the way of katon jutsu that wanted to eat her._

Or… hers, as it turns out.

_Spread chakra to the water underfoot and use it to shield from redirection possible katon jutsu, duck because that was a sword's blade and not a shadow._

Additionally, she had not known how much of the Snake Summoner's not being there situation had been based off of luck and circumstance.

_Parry, parry, and lose another third of her katana's blade. Duck, spin to side._

Because he was here, and trying to take her head off.

_Discard katana, not much use to her now, by throwing it into her opponents face. Pull secondary out of containment seal with blood on hands._

Which, to say the least, was a problem.

_Backflip to wall to get out of the way of doton jutsu that nearly ate her. Similar to the one that got Boar's leg._

Because of the whole 'trying to kill her' thing. She rather liked being alive now, she didn't want to die again. That had been painful, after all.

_Avoid spikes now sprouting from wall, unlikely to be a maneuver she could use again without major risk._

Panther decided, half hysterically as she kept an eye from being gouged out, that she needed more sleep than she had been getting.

_Duck, parry, dodge. Lose part of her mask. Discard the remains with explosive tag and throw into opponent's face._

Bat was already dead, or almost there. Her Uchiha rookie had taken a swipe of the Sword of Kusanagi and lost half of himself. Orochimaru had extended the blade halfway through the infiltrator and ended up dismembering him. The wrenching pain of his death had yet to leave her, because Bat was her responsibility and she let him die on her. Even worse, it was in a method she had once died in herself and knew how painful it was.

_Use chakra control to tug opponent mud clone's ankle with water and force him off step or that would've killed her._

Boar had been injured enough not to be of much help due to a doton jutsu crushing a leg to pulp, but Panther set him on guarding the two living kids anyways so he shouldn't be trying.

_Slide to side and avoid touching raiton jutsu. Avoid flying debris trying to smack her upside the head._

She had sent Mouse back to the village for help after cauterizing the bodyguard's leg, the newish-but-not-rookie ANBU medic wouldn't be anything but another target in this fight.

_Pain! Doton jutsu caught outside of right thigh. Backflip away and adjust weapon pouch to cinch it close._

And the assassin herself was trying to fend off a blade that could cut through anything with a standard steel katana.

_Parry, parry, duck, spin. Kick up debris into opponent's face and reposition without touching wall._

Not fun.

_Distraction failed, opponent was now behind her._

Panther was a student of kenjutsu, however. One who learned the art under Hatake Sakumo, current head of the shinobi clan that had at one time been samurai.

_Parry, throw kunai, backflip away and immediately kawarimi with dead person covered in explosive tags to take the suiton jutsu instead of her._

Orochimaru, for all his skill in ninjutsu and scientific learnings… was not a kenjutsu specialist.

_Mud clone again. Shift out of way of katon jutsu and parry._

He knew enough, and after a couple years of practice at it he would be pretty good. Right now though, he wasn't nearly as good as B of Kumogakure was with his seven-to-nine-depending swords.

_SNAKES! Get off floor and spike up water on ground to rid terrain of them._

Panther, on the other hand, was good enough now to cross swords with her old ANBU captain and win about a third of the time. It had been something she had practiced religiously over the years, because Sakumo had taken the time to teach her and liked to practice with her now that she was no longer a student of his.

_PAIN! Earth spike through foot. Accept as loss for ridding of snakes and get off wall._

Unfortunately, Orochimaru had figured out the basis of her kinjutsu already. Which was how Bat had died, the Snake Sannin had disrupted Panther's perception bending and connected a swipe of his stupidly sharp sword.

_Parry, dodge, spin. Shift to left hand dominant kenjutsu. Right leg was now too weak to lead._

Panther had been limited to her suiton jutsus, kenjutsu, the few fūinjutsu tags she had on her, and some iffy Yin Release Illusions that may or may not work. To fight off a member of the _Densetsu no Sannin_ with.

_Parry, parry, counter! Blood, real opponent this time._

Needless to say, the ANBU captain was rapidly losing ground.

_Deflect flaming shuriken aimed at her head, Uchiha method of wire control so slice wire. Lost track of real opponent. Fuck._

Surprisingly not because Orochimaru was that good, but because she was trying to keep the others and herself all alive. The sannin didn't really have anything else to lose at this point, so the assassin was wondering why this wasn't harder.

Then she realized he was probably playing with her.

_Katon jutsu aimed at others, pull water up to shield them and take raiton jutsu to self. PAIN!_

The fact Orochimaru wasn't that good with the double-edged jian of legend yet had thrown Panther off once she noticed. That also lost her the three inches off the tip of her first katana.

_Focus back on fight, drop to ground to avoid beheading and buy time to adjust after electrocution._

She flatly ignored his words, compartmentalizing it all away to look back on or so Inoichi could get it out of her mind if she died. Mostly because the shinobi was taunting her about both figuring out her kinjutsu and for killing Bat when the rookie covered for her initial stupid mistake of being surprised over his lack of skill.

_Use low position to attempt impale. Mud, roll out of way of both soil and next strike of suiton jutsu._

He knew her pretty well, unfortunately.

_Kawarimi with explosive broken timber, attempt to stab opponent in back._

When the Third Hokage came down with the Monkey King Enma in adamantine-staff form and all but bitch-smacked Orochimaru with the Summons, Panther discarded her very battered remains of a katana with a half-choked sob.

_Partial success, not a fatal injury._

Then grabbed someone else's and got back into the fight.

_Parry, dodge Hiruzen's swing, position to guard back of Third._

All piercing the Sword of Kusanagi might be, but if it pierces steel and you twist that halfway in a corkscrew motion you still rip a sword out of someone's hands.

_Watch for tip of sword, lean back and aim away from face when visible. Shove forward._

Panther was the better kenjutsu user.

_Twist! PULL!_

She ended up with the Sword of Kusanagi after flicking off the twisted bit of steel she had just used. Pointed at Orochimaru's throat. She took a moment to mentally apologize to whoever, who owned the katana she had just fucked over.

That was, naturally, where there was a pause in the fighting.

"Orochimaru… what have you done?"

Soft the word might have been, but everyone there knew Sarutobi Hiruzen was pissed. The older shinobi probably hadn't gotten a good look around before keeping the ANBU captain's head on her shoulders, but he was getting a good one now.

Mouse had been ordered to leave the way open behind her, so any help wouldn't have to figure out the fiddly security seal system on their way in and warn whoever it was that owned the underground laboratory. The medic had apparently ran all the way to the Hokage's Tower with the news of what Panther and her squad had stumbled upon.

The assassin had been thinking it had been an underground base for _Ne_ , it was the only reason she hadn't called for backup immediately upon spotting the few visible signs of a trapdoor in the forest floor. They had gotten halfway in before the scientific purpose had made itself clear to her, and then Orochimaru attacked them before they could spread word of what he had been doing.

Panther had also cursed herself out for being a nitwitted little fool and just tripping into the place without thinking the whole time.

This fight had not been her best, to say the least.

Against a backdrop of people _pulled into pieces and displayed floating in glass jars_ , Panther figured she could be excused. That was majorly freaky to get glimpses of during the fight.

Her next impression, now that she wasn't trying to keep bit of herself attached, was that the room's structure looked a little different that when they started.

Orochimaru was a better ninjutsu user than her, and had thrown multiple elemental techniques at her to try and trip her up. Panther was just happy her first instinct when confronted with a jutsu she didn't know was to get the hell out of the way.

Minato did that too when they sparred.

That had warped the room in strange ways, when the sannin had pulled up earth from the floor or walls to try crushing her or split the air in her direction and it impacted the same crumbling walls. A fair bit of it was on fire too, and the shattered glass tubes that held partial bits of other humans were now leaking out all over the place.

Panther didn't really want to think about the water they had used and where it had come from.

…oh. She had used her own katana to rip the Sword of Kusanagi out of Orochimaru's hands.

Lovely.

That also meant there were more ninja in the room than when she last had time to look around, and her taicho was a very good sight for sore eyes.

He was also the one holding the sheath to her old katana… that she just ruined.

That was a rather horrible way to repay the man that taught her the art she just used to keep herself alive. Discarding the gift she had been given just to unarm another shinobi.

Panther's wandering, stressed, exhausted, and scattered attention had not been on teacher and student when the action started again. She missed how, exactly, Orochimaru had gotten close enough to bite her neck.

Her one thought about that was… _ow_.

(ooo000ooo)

Sarutobi Hiruzen was a bit more than just pissed.

He was so enraged he felt a little cold.

Beyond even the horror of the lab his prized student seemed to be working out of and not just defending, the little assassin that managed to rise above the normal stereotypes of ANBU agents and become an even better jōnin kunoichi was battered, bruised, and bloody from the fight.

One of Jiraiya's prized students. Nara Natsumi, who could take initiative and fix problems she saw in Konoha long before anyone else saw the danger and wasn't all that bad in diplomacy with other villages.

The one he had been attempting to use to smoke out what his people were so against Danzō for.

The same kunoichi that decided not to complain or solely listen to rumors, but had actively tried to figure it all out before speaking of it to him.

Natsumi had smoked something out for him, but not what either Panther or the Third Hokage had thought it would be.

The young woman had also guarded his back just now, and he had already decided to protect her long before that show of loyalty since he was pretty much using her as bait.

Beyond his bitter disappointment in his once prized student, and the apparent betrayal of Konohagakure no Sato by one of her strongest shinobi, Orochimaru now held at kunai point the student of his fellow sannin and one of his best troubleshooters from the latest generation of Konoha ninja to reach jōnin rank.

Hiruzen was pretty sure Sakumo wanted to kill Orochimaru, and that had been before the young woman had tossed her kenjutsu master the sword she had ripped from the sannin's grasp before being held hostage.

Jiraiya simply looked pissed and a little betrayed, not entirely because of the assassin dripping blood on the floor.

The Intelligence team that had been in his office, led by the ANBU captain's husband, did not look any more amused than he was at this change in situation.

The ANBU teams, both those that remained from Panther's own and the two that guarded the Hokage, were either crowded around their injured member or impassively waiting for the Snake Summoner to make a mistake they could kill him for once the captain was out of the way.

Hiruzen just watched, as the kunoichi stirred awake from whatever the bite from his disappointment of a student did to her. He saw the moment when she realized exactly why everyone wasn't moving.

Natsumi smirked at them, a bit tiredly and regretfully, then impaled herself while pushing away from Orochimaru.

\V/

"I'm _not_ suicidal. Mouse was right there!"

Inoichi groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We didn't know that you knew how to survive a kunai to the jugular, Natsumi. So you can please excuse us for being a little concerned. Mostly because that normally can result in the death of those stabbed, and weren't expecting you to use your suiton control and the kunai to keep from bleeding out."

The assassin scowled at him, crossing her arms under her chest and huffing with a wince as that pulled the sore muscles in said arms. "Fuck no… how else do you think I've avoided bleeding out over the years?"

"Horse, mostly." The Yamanaka clan head deadpanned. "Now we can thank Mouse."

"Yeah well… suicide watch? This is insulting."

Natsumi had woken up in the hospital. The last thing she recalled from the Orochimaru fight was clamping a hand down on the kunai sticking out of her neck and desperately hoping her control over water included her own blood in high volumes. She had probably passed out just before Mouse had gotten to her, because she couldn't recall feeling any iryou jutsu sealing the injury.

Hey, she figured out she could use her chakra control to keep arterial spray from mostly happening. It might result in chakra depletion when tried because that was a lot of blood to control in very little time, but yay her.

Being dead wasn't much fun. The whole rebirth thing was kinda scary to think about happening again, too.

Still… _ow_.

She didn't want to try and get up out of her hospital bed even now, and that had been a week ago. Just thinking of trying for the bathroom was enough to get her muscles to protest violently, much less the revolt her right foot would throw for the idea being given to it. Added to that physical pain was the leeching feeling of chakra depletion, and she was a pretty sickly feeling assassin. Just sitting up was enough of an effort for her not to bother with trying anything else yet.

Once she had woke up, Tsunade had threatened to kill her the next time she ended up on the sannin's operating table. Then stuck her in the long term recovery ward.

Now she wasn't left alone. At all.

At first it had been pretty amazing to have so many visitors. They were like extra hands she didn't have to afford the energy to move herself. She got to apologize to Sakumo for ruining her kenjutsu gift in the fight, and tell Mikoto she was sorry for letting Bat die. After a while she noted they wouldn't leave after a certain amount of time. Like in shifts, only when there was another in the room would someone leave and she had medic watchers at night.

Natsumi wasn't that slow on the uptake. She figured it out pretty quick why they weren't letting her have time alone, and why all the nail files in the room were cardboard. She broke four of them already.

Jiraiya-sensei, Minato, Kushina, and Shikaku had yet to show up in the week she'd been in here aware enough to notice. Which was a little disappointing, but missions were missions.

Wait, if Inoichi was here…

"Where _is_ Shikaku?"

Inoichi did the freezing thing she recalled from her therapy, the one she remembered meant she had touched on a subject he didn't want to get into yet. "He's taking over the academy project of yours, as well as his own mission work. Last I saw him, he swore he was going to sleep for a week."

Natsumi eyed him, wondering what he was avoiding. "Okay… the academy isn't that badly off. I know it. What happened?"

"A chunk of chūnin returned from the war effort. Which included a lot of the old academy-sensei."

Ah… right. "How many toes did I step on?"

"A lot."

"Right, tell Shikaku I'm sorry. But he's awesome for taking that on for me."

The interrogator smiled fondly at her. "I'm glad you didn't decided to kill yourself just because you were being held hostage. Life would be a whole lot more boring without you."

"I decided horribly injuring myself was much better than dying. Even the horrors of the hospital food is better than kicking the bucket."

(ooo000ooo)

"You know, Natsumi's going to figure out you're avoiding her eventually." Inoichi blandly informed his best friend as he let himself out of the assassin's hospital room. "And when she figures it out, she'll be even more hurt by it."

Hatake Sakumo and Eri were in there now, she wouldn't try prying what happened after the Snake Sannin turned traitor almost killed her or what was going on now in front of the civilian lady. Natsumi might be a little crass some times, but she held a lot of respect for the wife of her old ANBU captain and wouldn't unduly alarm her.

Komushi and the younger academy students were also safe to dump into her recovery room, because she wouldn't want to spill secrets in front of them. They would need someone else in the room as well, and there weren't that many friends of Natsumi's to pull off the illusion of suicide watch.

Because while it was a convenient smokescreen, that wasn't the problem.

The seal on the back of her neck was.

Jiraiya had found the damned thing once Mouse stopped the bleeding, slapped a containment seal over it as fast as he could, and dug through his old teammate's laboratory for any more notes.

Orochimaru himself was not of any help, the sannin was bitter from being caught and wouldn't do anything to assist them try to pull it off the assassin's neck. Especially since the tether function earned him an ANBU guarded, seal decorated room in the hospital a floor down and not a cell in T&I's dungeon.

Inoichi had a date for ripping his mind apart, and that was one the interrogator was dreading… but it was for Natsumi. The kunoichi who had let him mess around with her mind and try and help heal it, and who had given him all the psychology help she could when he was learning it. He could handle helping the reincarnated soldier in a way no one else could other than his clan.

Even if it meant going through more of a mind of a traitor than he ever wanted to see.

It was probably only a matter of time until Natsumi realized there were more reasons for the lack of mirrors in her room other than the suicide watch excuse. The fact she didn't really like mirrors was only helping them conceal that, as she probably didn't connect the idea with metal mirror replacements yet and start wondering.

Currently Minato was working with Jiraiya and Kushina, trying to figure out a way to remove it or at least identify everything the seal did.

The fact it was only half formed wasn't helping them at all, it was a mess of inked commands to a seal key and Orochimaru's own chakra.

Kushina had recognized bits of her old work in it, from the seal work she had tested for the Hyuuga clan. Minato had to restrain his girlfriend until the desire to beat the traitorous sannin into bloody pulp left her.

Jiraiya and the Toads were trying to see if the Snakes were holding the key to the seal, but if the key was in the Summons' realm they weren't talking.

Which left Orochimaru as the best method of finding out what else the seal did besides kill Natsumi if she got too far away from him.

While they were doing that, they had to somehow handle the mission work Konoha got. After losing one of the kunoichi that could shift between ANBU and jōnin missions seemingly at will. Who also would have made up a fourth of the seal dissection team and allowed them to be more flexible in studying it.

Until they discovered exactly what the seal did to Natsumi, she wouldn't be allowed to help in case it corrupted her mind. For the time being, they also had to watch her to ensure there wasn't any corruption of her mind from both Orochimaru's chakra and the seal.

Hence the suicide watch smokescreen.

Inoichi rubbed his face tiredly, leaning against the same wall Shikaku was as the man simply watched the door his wife was behind. "Look, I know you feel kind of guilty from how you sent her off. But that won't be fixed until you talk to her."

"And if she had died, the last thing I would've said to her was 'fuck ANBU'." The Nara clan head bit out harshly. "Which might have contributed to her risk taking when held hostage."

When she nearly killed herself was what the shadow master didn't say. The mind walker could see why his best friend was procrastinating in the face of that conversation. "She said she knew what-"

"And you and I know it's mostly bull. Natsumi might have known it was possible, but not if she could really do that. Or if she had enough chakra for it."

Then she went and stabbed herself anyways, to remove the last barrier Orochimaru had between himself and the consequences of his own actions. Herself.

Inoichi just sighed. He knew perfectly well when the assassin had given them all such a grim little smile that she was going to do something they might not like and she wasn't sure would work. "Alright. It's your marriage. I just thought you might like to know she's asking for you."

Shikaku winced, shifting guiltily against the wall.

"And since you're not doing anything, you might as well go back to working on the academy anyways. Natsumi will be a little disappointed if you don't handle that problem, since she thinks you are and called you awesome for it."

Inoichi was perfectly willing to smash his best friend in his pride until the man went back to his wife. It was the least he could do as the couple's friend. Shikaku was being rather stupid in not at least talking with Natsumi about the incident, not knowing was a whole lot worse than knowing and trying to fix the problem.

The Yamanaka clan head wondered if this was how Natsumi usually felt when they came to her with problems of their own that had obvious solutions they didn't want to contemplate.

Probably.

\V/

Minato worriedly peered up at his fūinjutsu master when the man let himself into the apartment. "Well? How is sempai doing?"

Jiraiya rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. "She's starting to figure it out. Natsumi-chan asked Sakumo if the chakra suppression and draining seals were necessary. She can't sense others right now."

"Fuckity fuck, fuck." Kushina let her forehead meet the table they were using. "That's bad, dattebane. Natsumi can't play with that, or we'll lose most of our leverage with it. What did Sakumo-sama tell her?"

"That because of her suiton jutsus, yes they were necessary." The white haired sannin took a seat heavily next to the jinchūriki. "I'm a little in awe of his on-the-spot bullshitting, really. I wouldn't have thought of that right away."

Minato just sighed, taking in how stressed his genin sensei looked. Not only had one of his friends and teammates gone rogue, but then Orochimaru had attacked his own student and nearly ended up killing her. Had killed her, rather. Natsumi technically died on the operating table from blood-loss, but Tsunade managed to pull the assassin back to the world of the living before her second death became permanent.

Then she found out who sent the ANBU captain to her operating table, and wanted to go break every bone in her old teammate's body.

Orochimaru was still sporting a few cracked and broken bones, from when ANBU teams hesitated to pull the Slug Princess off him.

The iryou-nin contingent of Konoha flatly refused to heal him, and Tsunade hadn't even had the time to tell them why she went after the Snake Summoner before they had.

Natsumi had a few more injuries that needed time to heal, mostly the bones of her right foot that had cracked before the Hokage went to Panther's aid and a severe case of depletion they were artificially extending, so the assassin wasn't starting to question why she wasn't allowed to go home yet. She couldn't support her own weight on them or use the foot to help her get around, not like how she could limp on her other leg when she had broken bones the last time, so hospital was where she had to heal.

Minato fully realized the irony of thanking an injury for keeping his sempai in the hospital, but he couldn't muster up enough humor to enjoy the thought.

The three of them were supposed to pull the seal apart and remove it from the back of Natsumi's neck, but they had hit more roadblocks than they liked. For one, although the seal was really only a three pronged fūinjutsu sigil they couldn't find the seal key to it. They had multiple examples of Orochimaru experimenting with it, from the bodies left in the underground laboratory just outside of Konohagakure, but that really only showed what had happened when the traitorous sannin had applied them wrong.

The fact Natsumi was still alive at all was thanks to the work Orochimaru put into the three pronged seal and because of the five point containment seal Jiraiya slapped on top of it… and that she had practically pulled all the chakra in herself out and gave the cursed seal little to seal to after being placed near the chakra gate in her neck.

Two, they only had a sigil and had to feel for a way to remove it from that. Which might simply kill Natsumi if they tried any of the usual methods for removing a seal. None of them could stomach attempting human tests, that was why R&D existed and the act seemed to be too Orochimaru-like for their peace of mind.

Finally, they didn't have a very good look at what it was doing to Natsumi. Jiraiya flatly refused to remove his containment seal unless they had a method to remove the whole thing, as that suppressed both his old teammate's chakra and the assassin's own. Keeping whatever other effects the seal did to Natsumi from happening.

Minato didn't feel like arguing… as the tether thing was bad enough.

Right now they were trying to figure out how to remove a half-formed, half-applied cursed seal off his sempai's neck. With only bits of the original fūinjutsu to work with. And before Natsumi poked and peeled up the fūinjutsu keeping it dormant on her out of curiosity.

Without letting anyone else know what they were doing.

Sarutobi Hiruzen put the whole thing under Jiraiya's watch, and told them to keep it from the village's council members and the clans that didn't know what had gone on. However, Orochimaru's imprisonment in Konohagakure no Sato's Main Hospital wasn't much of a secret after Tsunade beat the shit out of him, and the fact Natsumi was in for broken bones of her right foot was public record.

The three of them had to solve it all before someone accused Natsumi of helping the traitorous Snake Summoner, and before someone dug into why Orochimaru was being treated as a traitor.

That would not end well for his sempai, even if everyone important knew she was innocent of helping the traitor. The stigma of that accusation probably would outlast her popularity for catching the academy's fall before it could happen and fixing it for Konoha.

"Alright." Kushina slammed her big scroll of past fūinjutsu projects on the table between them all holding what Orochimaru did to some of those dead people in his lab. "I didn't want to pry this out, but I did do a little work on the original Hyūga seal. Trying to see if I could remove it for Hizashi. I might have a way, but I stopped after Shikaku got the new one approved. I didn't think trying that would go down well with the Hyuuga elders."

Jiraiya huffed and pulled his attention back to the subject, peering at the Uzumaki styled fūinjutsu now laid out across the table. "You think that might help?"

"He used some of my work." She shut her eyes for a long moment, painfully thinking back to when she and Shikaku went to get her possible replacement seals tested. "Payment my _ass_. But if some of it is my work, I should be able to pry some of it up when we try."

Minato worriedly looked at his sealing teacher when the man didn't even bother to take the obvious opening to harass his girlfriend a bit. "Okay, so we might have a starting position. Now, how to transfer it to something else, and what else would we transfer it to?"

\V/

Tenzou and Naomi.

Hiruzen named both young children the ANBU bodyguard Boar had shielded with his own body, and placed them with the crippled ANBU agent as caretaker. One for the results he seemed to bear from his time as the Snake Sannin's plaything, and the other slightly after the woman that technically killed herself in ensuring their rescue.

Tenzou was a serious little child, and very protective of Naomi. The girl-child was shy and incredibly sickly in the beginning, but Tsunade claimed it was more from excessive medical experimentation and neglect than anything else and that she should recover given proper care and time.

Both children were horrifically traumatized and malnourished from the time they spent as Orochimaru's test subjects. They flinched whenever anyone else besides Boar, or rather Setsumi Ito now that he was medically retired from ANBU, reached for them.

Tenzou also showed signs of the First's Mokuton kekkai genkai. He usually had leaves in his hair, not all from the trees outside of the ex-bodyguard's recently walled home's yard. His skin also rippled, showing more bark-like traits than human skin should have.

Naomi, now that she was getting better, showed signs of a version of the Uzumaki clan's vitality. She was both hyper and shy, normally darting from Tenzou's side to Ito's whenever the Sandaime visited them.

The Third Hokage just wondered where he had gone wrong with Orochimaru and wished Natsumi hadn't been so badly injured and in danger, because she really was good with children and might help them a little more than he could.

The two of them were barely out of toddler years, possibly about four years of age for Tenzou and three for Naomi. They both also kept asking about 'neko-taicho' and when she would visit them, as they knew she was alive but badly injured at the moment.

Which kept reminding the Third Fire Shadow about the other consequence of his old student's betrayal.

Panther had been the first one to attack the man that had tortured them, to fight back and survive just that much longer when Orochimaru attempted to kill them all. Nara Natsumi had also bought the time needed to ensure the Snake Summoner was still there and so tired when the rest of them reached the laboratory, because the assassin could be that slippery in a fight. Hiruzen understood why they kept asking for their 'neko-taicho'. They both had one of the assassin's mostly black cat masks, to remind them that the ANBU captain had taken the first step in getting them out of there.

They both had frequent nightmares about it anyways.

Ito couldn't get around as easily as he used to, not even with the wooden leg that now replaced his left one from mid-thigh down, so Mouse was the other caretaker in the house. The two children were less wary around the medic-nin, but preferred the crippled bodyguard over her. The man was rather bemused by it all, but allowed the both of them to hide behind him or use him as a shield anyways.

The forcibly retired ANBU agent should have been bitter or more depressed over the loss of his shinobi lifestyle and leg than he was. However, given Bat hadn't survived long in the fight and his captain was still on the injured list and might never make it off, Ito considered himself rather lucky to have survived a confrontation with a hostile Orochimaru at all.

Mostly due to Panther taking repeated hits to keep him and the children that way even if she had been fighting for their lives already.

The report Ito and Mouse gave, about how Panther ended up so injured and why Bat had been split in half, simply reinforced how much effort the ANBU captain had put into keeping the situation from changing before Hiruzen got out there to see if it really was his former student and not an infiltration attempt gone wrong.

The fact she only scored two hits on the Snake Summoner aside, it had taken almost everything she could to confine him to the same room and not let him escape retribution.

It would be a heavy blow to morale once news got out, but if Orochimaru had gotten away it would have been steeper and without a method of possible closure for the rest of them that had once counted themselves teacher, comrades, and friends of the man.

Now Hiruzen had to decide what to do with his traitorous student once Jiraiya and his little squad of fūinjutsu experts decided what to do about the cursed seal on the back of Natsumi's neck.

\V/

"Well, finally. Are you going to come over here or just stand there like an idiot?"

Shikaku winced as he realized his wife was scowling at him. Maybe this hadn't been the best idea ever.

Natsumi paused, frowning harder. "Wow… _were_ you really avoiding me?"

This probably wasn't the best way to start off begging for forgiveness either. He sighed and stole the empty chair next to her bed. "I… well, yes."

The assassin blinked at him, the frown fading from her lips. "Why?"

"Because you nearly died! And the last thing I said to you was _fuck ANBU!_ "

"Oh." His wife rapidly blinked. "I thought you were going to do the whole 'it's not you, it's me' speech. Not… yeah, okay… that."

Shikaku did a bit of blinking himself, Natsumi almost looked like she was trying not to cry. Then he realized exactly what his avoidance had done to her and felt even more of an ass. His wife didn't cry, hadn't around him since that one day back in the academy and they forced her to tell them how she and her old team had died. "No! Not… damn it, Natsu. No. Just, you disappeared in the dead of night after I got a bit techy and the next time I see you Orochimaru stabbed you in the neck with your own assistance!"

The assassin in the hospital bed winced and rubbed her left shoulder. "Ow… you were there. I got it, it was not well thought out."

"Well… no. A very brutal way to remove an obstacle in the way, yeah. Not one I ever want to see you try again." Shikaku rubbed the back of his neck himself, warily watching for any waterworks. He had never made his wife cry before, and this wasn't a very good first for him. "But ANBU… so, I can understand why even if I don't like it."

Natsumi huffed, then pinned him with a look of her own as her hands fell back into her lap. "I don't like being left in the dark or avoided, thanks."

"I don't like watching a medic try and keep my wife from bleeding out after _assisted suicide by traitor_."

"So are you going to tell me about this stupid seal or not?"

He froze. "What?"

"Pooled water is reflective, silly. Even if it is only in the sink. The lack of mirrors only gave me pause." She tiled her head to the side and barred the side of her neck marred by the cursed seal. "What is it?"

Shikaku looked between his wife's mismatched eyes and the starkly black seal on her neck. "Have you-"

"I've done _nothing_. Obviously the chakra suppression is holding whatever it is at bay, and I don't feel like messing with it until I know more." Natsumi bit out, darkly glaring at the wall with a snarl. "What I want to know is what it is, and why everyone is trying to keep me from finding out what's going on."

"Natsu-"

"I already know you don't trust me. I get that." She chewed on her lower lip before continuing, he was simply too shocked to protest. "And obviously Minato and Jiraiya-sensei don't either. But _why?_ What did I do?"

She sounded so miserable that Shikaku plucked her out of bed and sat in it, pulling her closer once he was situated where she had been. Natsumi was still too weak to do much but wiggle, but if he let this go she would start avoiding him. As an ANBU captain, she could avoid things with the best of them. He knew about the ANBU captain's room she had in their headquarters, and that he wouldn't be able to see her there if she ran to it. This had to be solved, before they attempted anything to that seal.

"It's not that we don't trust you, we needed a good look at how you adjusted to it and any alarming shifts in personality. It's unknown, still, what effects it is supposed to have." He told her as he held her in place, as there wasn't any room to go anywhere but to the floor. "And we trust you, it's just that we don't trust Orochimaru and what he did to you."

Natsumi paused, and adjusted to that information. "So, because it's on me you don't trust me. Okay, I want it off."

"Minato and Jiraiya-sama are working on it. Kushina's helping them and occasionally Tsunade-sama, when she's got the time." Shikaku didn't let go, even if she had stopped trying to get free. "Whenever they have free time they work on it. That's why they haven't been by yet."

The assassin bowed her head as she listened. "Can I at least help? This staring at the wall while being watched thing is starting to get to me."

"I'll see about it. And moving you home, maybe." The Nara clan head grimaced at the thought of having Orochimaru living in his home with his currently chakra-disabled wife. "But that's not really likely right now."

"Why?"

"Because they're almost ready to try something about it." Shikaku held her closer. "And then we'll need to put you under observation again if it works. But if it works, you'll be free to come home. Komushi has mopped about ever since you got sent in here."

"…I still think you're an ass for avoiding me."

"That's alright, I think I'm an ass for avoiding you."

Natsumi snorted, relaxing back into his hold. "Fine, whatever. You're an ass, but I did marry you. So you're my ass of a husband."

"Fair enough. Does this mean I'm forgiven?"

She was silent for a worrying moment, but snorted a laugh this time. "Who did you piss off, and how much can I hold it over your head for getting them off you?"

"Kushina and Tsume, mostly. I think Minato's still glaring a hole in my back, too."

Natsumi tilted her head back and arched an eyebrow at him once she could. "What did you do?"

"I… okay, the day you left. I was having a bit of a bad day." Shikaku released one of his hands to rub at his face. "The fact you left without saying goodbye started it, and I snapped at a few of your friends and your student. They didn't like that."

She smiled softly. "I have awesome friends."

"You also have scary, pseudo-family men in your life. Please tell Sakumo-sama you're talking to me the next time you see him."

She laughed in delight, and Shikaku felt the last of his tension leave him. Inoichi threatening to really put her under suicide watch if he didn't fix things with his wife had gotten him in here, and he hadn't realized how much the avoidance had been hurting her until she spilled it.

Having the seal problem fixed and then really losing her would've killed him, and not because of her scary relatives-by-technicality. He already had to face the idea of her not in his life, while waiting for news from Tsunade about if the surgery succeeded or not in keeping her alive. Learning she had technically died during surgery had not done any favors for his stress levels.

That was… not something Shikaku wanted to face again, especially if the last words to her had been fuck ANBU. If it had to happen, though he was of the opinion that it never happening would be just fine with him, he would much rather it happen with a better memory of him than snapping at her and what she did for all of Konohagakure.

"So, am I forgiven for being stupid?"

"Not something I ever thought would come out of a Nara's mouth." She smirked wryly at him, but it was fond and only a little exasperated. "Only if you promise to talk to me. I can deal with scaring you, and I'll feel bad about it, but if you scare me like this again I'll let taicho at you."

"Dear _kami-sama_ , deal."

"…am I?"

Shikaku blinked down at her. "What? Why?"

"For scaring you. So badly you didn't want to talk to me."

"…yeah."

Natsumi thought about that after smiling at him. "Too bad we're in the hospital. Makeup sex after a fight is supposed to be hot."

Shikaku laughed and hugged her.

(ooo000ooo)

"Wow, okay. This is several different shades of disgusting."

Natsumi picked her way through the seal examples and what Jiraiya, Minato, and Kushina had pulled from the corpses in Orochimaru's lab. A disgusted sneer on her lips as she inspected one after another.

"Like desiccated graves disgusting. And it's on me… _eww_."

Minato chuckled fondly, watching her cringe in revulsion at the very thought. "There's also supposed to be a mental control function added to it, I'm just happy it didn't work."

The copied designs noted to be pulled from bodies with exploded skulls spelled that out perfectly for the rest of them. The assassin figured she had been bit with a slightly different version of the same seal Anko had gotten in another life. Just a slight bit earlier than she had, and less power boosting/corrupting and more personal limiting in function. "So… creepy. In spades. How are we getting it off me?"

"The fact Jiraiya-sama slapped a containment seal on it will help." Kushina told the bedridden assassin, pulling the bare bones of the plan written down for her perusal. "We're going to rip it and what it got hold of off, and hope it hadn't attached itself to the chakra gate in your neck. Hiashi said it hadn't, but he admitted you're a bit strange to look at."

"Thanks for that…" Natsumi eyed the jinchūriki as she stuck her tongue out at her. "So, I'll lose a bit of chakra and maybe some tenketsu points… that I currently don't have to spare with the containment seal on me."

"Which is where the hime comes in." Jiraiya finished brightly for her. "Medics have their own way of preventing that, and Tsunade-hime will let us use that to keep you alive. You'll still lose chakra and probably will have to work on your control again, but it will be gone."

…risk it and lose some of what kept her alive, or not and live with containment seals and no chakra for the rest of her life?

The ANBU captain huffed, leaning back against the wall of pillows behind her. Not much of a choice. "Okay. When?"

"Tonight." Minato grinned at the wide-eyed look he got from her. "You took your sweet time catching on, sempai."

"Excuse me for being a little distracted at the time. I thought you didn't trust me."

The redheaded kunoichi clucked her tongue this time. "Silly, why wouldn't we?"

Natsumi rubbed at the spot she knew the cursed seal was. It just felt like skin to her, and that had been why it took so long for her to catch on without her own chakra to sense with. "That's what made me so miserable. I couldn't figure that out."

The sannin standing with his back against the wall huffed at her with a crooked grin. "I'm with Kushina-chan. Silly little assassin."

"Thanks, sensei. Dirty old man." The assassin in question ignored the automatic protest and looked at Kushina. "Will this let you rip off the cursed seals of the Hyūga clan?"

"No…" The Whirlpool Princess frowned regretfully at the paper that held the seal removal process they had made for Natsumi. "They've had them too long. You can't just rip something that meshed into their chakra coils and gates out like we're going to do with you. It would probably destroy the networks supporting the byakugan eyes and a fair few other things. Only the fact it's so new, and you currently have little to no chakra in your system for it to latch onto, is what will let us do it."

"So, there's a time limit to this?"

"If we let it go any longer, we might not have an opportunity to try." Minato confirmed with a nod. "But if we do try to find another way, we'll have to cut out a lot of your chakra just to do that and probably will end up damaging the gate in the base of your neck. This probably will have the least amount of risk to you and your coils."

Natsumi took a deep breath. The risks were compromised chakra system and half-life as a civilian at worse, or her control and a portion of her chakra at best.

Either way, she wanted it _off_.

The less time she had to worry over it the better off they all would be.

"Alright, sucks… but, yeah. The only other option sucks worse."

Being stuck to Orochimaru's corpse wasn't something she wanted to try to live with.

He had better be dead when she got out of the hospital, or she would be the one to kill him. Ninja or not.

\V/

Natsumi woke the day after they wanted to try removing the cursed seal, and promptly tried to look at her own neck.

Which was not only physically impossible, but Shikaku wouldn't let her attempt it anyways.

"Stop… look, they had to remove a fair bit of skin. So it's still an open wound." Her husband gripped her jaw gently and kept her head still. "According to Minato and Hizashi, it's gone. It did some damage, yeah, but you'll still have a fair amount of control even if it damaged the system in your left shoulder."

"Why is it still an open wound?"

"To keep from giving you chakra poisoning. They had to dump a fair bit of medically blank chakra into you to remove the damn thing, and they decided not to stress your coils out with even more."

The assassin peered up at him suspiciously. "How bad is it?"

Shikaku hesitated, thinking. "You've lost three tenketsu points for sure, might lose another two in the upper left part of your back. Damaged half the upper coil in the left shoulder to neck pathway. The seal didn't get a good hold of the gate, so that's fine. You did probably lose ten or so percent of mobility in the joint as well from the damage the seal left your body."

"Shoulder joint?"

"Neck, base of it."

"I'm my own pain in the neck? Interesting."

In other words, the surgery _had_ damaged her a bit and impaired her chakra system, to the point she would need some serious retraining to figure out how it would affect her. They probably would learn what it had done to her control until she was released from the containment seals.

Either way, she was foreseeing a lot of time in the training fields either working on her left handed turns or any and all jutsus again.

That was without taking into account what her control would ended up as.

On top of the month or so for depletion to wear off, now that she was older and replenishment-from-nearly-nothing took a little longer than when she had been sixteen in body.

Four to five months recovery time for her skills, not including control.

Damn it.

"I hate being injured."

"I hate it when you're injured. Stop it already."

Natsumi laughed weakly into the pillow she was nearly drowning in. "Right… so sorry, hubby mine. I'll try and stop inviting people to kill me. So, now can you tell me what's going on?"

Shikaku sighed and sat back down, letting her chin go. "What do you recall?"

"Of what, the fight? Orochimaru attacked us, Bat covered for my initial stupid mistake, Boar lost part of his leg, Mouse was sent back to get help once she cauterized his leg… what happened to the kids?"

Wait… _two?_ Who was the other?

"Alright, Bat died in service. Boar's still alive, but crippled now. Hiruzen-sama's got him watching the two kids your squad pulled out of there. Tenzou and Naomi. Mouse is helping him at the moment."

Natsumi bit her lip. Her Uchiha rookie… she still felt like a colossal failure as a captain for letting that happen. Bat had been a little stiff and a bit of an idiot, but no one deserved to die like she had once. Inoichi was annoying the ever loving hell out of her about it ever since she said something about the death to Mikoto. "Okay… fuck. Not good. Wait… Tenzou and Naomi?"

"I know the girl hadn't looked the best when Boar pulled her out from behind him, but did you really think she died?"

"I don't know! No one said shit!"

Wow… _two!_

"Alright… that was probably not very good of us. You probably thought they both had died… fuck, sorry Natsu." Shikaku rubbed the back of his neck, grimacing. "No wonder you were driving yourself up a wall… we should've at least told you they were asking for you."

Natsumi blinked at him, shocked stupid. "They are?"

"They saw your face. You lost your mask in the fight, we couldn't even find more than half of it."

"I slapped an explosive tag to the rest of it and tried to blow up Orochimaru's face." The assassin frowned faintly, trying to connect her half-formed memories of the fight itself. "You probably found the half he sliced apart."

The shadow master blinked at her out of surprise. "Really? No wonder they've taken to carrying the copies Mouse gave them around."

Humming, the assassin thought about that. She… well, she was kinda responsible for them living through that. She had known, after all. It hadn't affected her that much, she hadn't thought of what the kids would have to live though while she messed around with other things.

Hell… she decided Danzō was a better target than Orochimaru to go after.

Fuck. She was a horrible person.

Had she been given a choice beforehand, knowing what she might have run into down there… Natsumi might have left them there.

To be brutally honest… she had been a horrible person for a whole lot of this lifetime. She freaking _killed people_ for a living; treasured family members, other peoples' loved ones. Usually political targets or criminal yakuza heads and their men, but there had been a few mainly revenge type missions she had been on over the years. The only line she hadn't crossed yet was young children. Just… she never had it smacked in her face like this before.

She wondered if she really liked the person she had become or not. When she could now cold-bloodedly make decisions like that about two innocent kids, when before she would've been the one covering them.

"So… Tenzou _and_ Naomi…"

"Almost hero-worship you for fighting off their tormentor. For being the first, actually. They're a little more wary around Hiruzen-sama because he talked more than fought."

Even better. Now she felt really guilty, even more than before.

Natsumi sighed, tightening her grip on her husband's hand. "Okay… so. Three-fourths of my squad is either dead or crippled, and we've pulled two kids out of there. What happened to Orochimaru?"

"He's still alive. A special guest of T&I now. They moved him last night when they pulled the seal off your neck."

A thrill of fear jolted though her. " _WHAT?_ "

Shikaku rubbed her back, worriedly eyeing her fearful expression. "They copied your seal on the house, the lethal one. Kushina did it, actually, with Komushi's notes about it and Sakumo-sama's help with getting the key. Then they walled in his cell with them. A room a floor below us has the same seal painted all over it. Since you couldn't go too far away from him without dying, he had to be near while we figured out how to rid you of it."

Natsumi held her breath until the desire to hyperventilate was suppressed. "How… taicho's Dogs got it from my Leopards?"

"Yeah, they would dearly like to be Summoned sometime soon so they know what's going on with you."

She almost started laughing hysterically. Her notoriously fussy felines had designed to talk to the canines in more than a few sentences just because she was injured. Wow… she hadn't seen that one coming. "Oh… Tamika-sama's not going to be pleased with me. I'm going to have to train two cubs next year."

"According to Sakumo-sama's Dogs, they're not best pleased with the situation, no. But they are willing to give you an extension on your part of the Contract until you recover, considering the 'pride' was just betrayed and he tried to kill you."

Natsumi snorted, she could just see Jin snap that at some poor Dog of her old ANBU captain's Summons pack. She wondered if Aki-sama herself had taken the message or if she delegated it to another. Given Aki-sama was a canine and they were damned near completely loyal to whoever Summoned them, she probably took it herself. "Wow… okay. So, back to _Orochimaru still being alive_."

The fact he was under her seals notwithstanding, she didn't want him living now that he proved to still be a traitorous little fuck. He… hell, he fucked over Uchiha Sauske so badly he went a little _insane_.

And Tenzou! And… okay. And _Naomi!_

That… was still strange to her.

While the lethal fūinjutsu that covered her home was good, they could be gotten around. Especially if the key was now in this realm, and not back with her Leopards.

"Jiraiya-sama sent the key back, with the Toads that time." Shikaku told her, still rubbing her back with his left hand to calm her down. Apparently, Inoichi wasn't the only one able to pull what others' were thinking from thin air. "Hiruzen-sama wanted to be sure you'd be okay before officially deciding what happens to Orochimaru. Not that it would affect his sentence any, but the death of one of our own ANBU captains wouldn't have been pretty for him."

 _Death to traitors_ , Natsumi thought bitterly. Orochimaru's betrayal might have been half-expected by her, but probably not by very many others. Jiraiya especially. He might have been able to hide any hurt or betrayal from her and the other fūinjutsu users of Konoha, but there had to be some there.

She was almost sorry she hadn't been good enough to kill the asshole herself.

Closure be damned.

"Right… I don't care. Just as long as he's dead in the end. That… fuck. How's Jiraiya-sensei? Or even Tsunade-sama? How the hell is Hiruzen-sama dealing with it?"

"Mostly by staying together." The shadow master sighed, thinking of how wan and drawn all three of them looked lately. "Jiraiya-sama's been hanging around Tsunade-sama and Sakumo-sama more often. I don't think he trusts himself not to do something stupid. Tsunade-sama's been throwing herself in her work when your old sensei isn't dragging her out of here. Hiruzen-sama's… tired looking. That's really all I can say about it, he's not really talking too much."

Natsumi bit her lip, thinking. How had that worked in the other story?

It had been after Minato's death, right? An older, more battle weary Third Hokage had been one of the ones to confront Orochimaru about it, and the old man had let his once treasured student go because he was way too used to losing his own precious people after his eldest son, wife, and successor all had died. Paying for it later on, in his own death.

Jiraiya, lacking anything else to keep him in Konoha other than a Naruto he couldn't get close to for his own protection, had tried to follow after and somehow get back his old teammate and friendly rival. Spending way too much time chasing after a dead and gone version of a shinobi he once held dear and neglecting his godson, that he had to stay away from to keep Minato's enemies from targeting anyways.

Tsunade had probably left Konohagakure no Sato long before the incident happened, and had probably been way too drunk to fully appreciate the thought of rogue teammates.

This had been different because not only had the Snake Summoner attacked and nearly killed an ANBU squad, she had ensured they'd survived it by not letting herself get many hits. So Orochimaru had been caught red handed, by numerous witnesses. Forcing a slightly younger and less forgiving Hiruzen to hold his once prized student to the law, and hammering home to a less grief-stricken Jiraiya that his friend had way more depth to him that he probably wanted to see.

Sakumo himself probably wouldn't abide by any leniency for Orochimaru, as even in this life the man held his comrades dearer than the mission. He just hadn't been scorned for that belief because he started the Third War early and before Konoha was ready to get into one.

Tsunade… Natsumi had no vague guideline to how she would deal with it. It probably wasn't nearly as bad as losing a brother or lover to war… but probably a blow all the same.

"Right… that's not going to be pretty. How much does everyone else know?"

"Only that Orochimaru went rogue, and for some reason beyond healing he had to be held in the hospital for a little while. The fact you came in with him was a little suspicious, but given the mess you two made out of your foot you've been excused now that he's been moved."

"… _beyond_ healing?"

Shikaku snorted lightly. "Tsunade-sama went after him with her own fists. Last I heard, he's still got some broken bones from it."

Natsumi's lips quirked up slightly. Tsunade was a brash and bold kunoichi, for sure. Not quite how everyone thinks kunoichi should behave, but awesome in her own way.

"So, where am I now that the seal is off me?"

"You've got another month of observation, and the fact your chakra network was damaged will become common knowledge to the shinobi ranks, but you'll come home after that."

The assassin relaxed back into her hospital bed. Another month of hospital food… joy.

\V/

One month later, and Natsumi was almost ready to throw a party.

She was that happy to be out of the hospital.

Highly nutritious hospital food might be… but it was straight up disgusting to try choking down.

The assassin was pretty sure she lost more weight in the hospital than she ever had on mission before.

The lack of people watching her was pretty awesome too. The ANBU team guarding her back was excused, because she probably wasn't all that great at watching her own back right now.

Minato was helping her home, because although her right foot was mostly healed up now her chakra depletion was still throwing her for a loop. Natsumi had never gone without her chakra for that long, ever since she had died in her last life.

Just wow… she _might_ be a little high from that.

Because… well, it was permeating every part of her body. She was only now realizing what it all effected in regards to her senses.

Like sight, smell, and hearing.

This was a hell of a lot different than what she had become used to in the hospital's chakra suppressed recovery room.

She couldn't walk in a straight line… at all. She wasn't even limping after letting her foot heal in the hospital, it was just her staggering around drunkenly. Kind of exhausted too, but that should be wearing off in a few days or weeks.

Natsumi was pretty sure Minato was laughing at her, not at something funny Kushina said to him earlier.

She could forgive him for it, because a detached part of her mind was laughing her own ass off at her.

"I'm glad to hear it, sempai. But you should know your mental filter seems to have been turned off."

Natsumi blinked. Huh… _whoops?_

The blond next to her, guiding her along with one hand on her right shoulder, snorted back a laugh. "Yeah… are you sure you want to go home now? We can sit you in a normal hospital room while you recover from the depletion we caused you."

"NO!" The assassin was pretty sure that really had come out of her mouth right now. "I want my own bed. And my own food. My bed normally has a _Shika_ in it, Minato! And that's freaking _awesome!_ "

"More than I wanted to hear about your home life, sempai."

She made a rude noise in his direction. "You have a hime in your bed, and I didn't want to know that. Sucks to be us, then."

Minato coughed awkwardly, flushing red as he eyed her warily. "Yes, sucks to be us. Are you sure you don't want to be stuck somewhere your runaway mouth won't get you in trouble?"

"I'll live. And my room has more privacy seals on it than ANBU headquarters. Kinda had to do that when Komushi started living with us. Cause Shika didn't like that at first, so he-"

The jōnin shinobi hurriedly slapped a hand over her mouth. "And now I know you come by the perversion trait honestly. I don't want to know, sempai."

Natsumi laughed at him, muffled though it was.

(ooo000ooo)

Coming down from a chakra high… not awesome.

As a matter of fact, Natsumi was feeling pretty bad now. Mostly nausea and disorientation, but it was still better than the numb nothing she had been living through in the hospital.

Nauseous or not, she could now start feeling her way back to what had all gone on while she had done the five month long hospital stay.

Wow had she lost time for that.

Hana, her Inuzuka goddaughter, was now a toddler and not a baby. Tsume brought the tyke by, all of nine months old and already scooting herself along and attempting to walk. The Inuzuka alpha was already back on active service, had been for a while and had apparently taken up the slack Natsumi left behind by being so injured.

The assassin adored being left in charge of her, because now Hana was babbling and attempting to mimic those around her. They were starting her on easy children's books, so Natsumi could sit and just read to her goddaughter or play peekaboo with the toddler's toys.

Itachi was bigger too, now at seven months. He could roll around under his own power, crawl for short bursts, and attempt to feed himself. He was also incredibly shy, not remembering the ANBU captain from his own baby days so he didn't like to be left with her when Mikoto needed a temporary sitter. The genjutsu mistress herself was only now getting back into the swing of mission work, having adapted to her new physical dimensions and adjusted them to her fighting style.

Meeting up with Boar and Mouse had been not nearly as fun as seeing where her friends' kids were in development.

Ito, her poor ex-bodyguard ANBU squad member, had lost most of his left leg. Every time Natsumi saw it or the wooden replacement, she couldn't help but remember the _crunch_ sound of the doton jutsu that smashed the limb to a pulp.

Mouse was mostly okay, physically. Mentally, she had been badly shaken by the whole thing. However, the work Hiruzen had set her was helping her get over that without Yamanaka assistance.

Tenzou and Naomi. The two young children she and her squad had salvaged from Orochimaru's lab. The both of them had dropped what they had been holding when they saw her the first time, ran over and hugged her calves with all their strength. Babbling the whole time how awesome she was and that they were sorry she got hurt saving them.

It just made Natsumi feel even more of a failure of a human being. She had, at the time, cursed herself out for even attempting to poke into the lab.

When she was tired from chakra control exercises, she would drop on by and let the two of them reassure themselves that she did live and they were all now mostly alright.

They wouldn't probably ever get to being alright on their own, but close was good enough for now. Until Natsumi could pull herself back together and start working on that.

Her section of the jōnin war deployment shift had already been deployed again. Meaning although they could help and cover for her while she had been in the hospital, they weren't in Konoha for long anymore. Tsume and Mikoto were part of the second shift, Fugaku had already shifted over to join them as well, but that meant her husband and her more important people were gone from the village.

Natsumi flatly refused to let Shikaku shift himself over, telling her husband that until she got close to fixing her chakra problems it would be pointless to try guessing which shift she would end up with. She needed him watching Minato's back for her, as she wasn't anywhere near able to do it herself.

They all had been in the village when Orochimaru's trial started, though.

Sitting with Jiraiya and Tsunade as they listened to what all their teammate had done had not been a great day for anyone.

The Daimyo of Fire Country had to be brought in, because while Sarutobi Hiruzen was the Fire Shadow he wasn't the only one Orochimaru had wronged.

The once highly regarded Snake Sannin had wronged a whole lot of people.

Beyond kekkai genkai theft of their own clans, grave robbing, and unlawful human experimentation; Orochimaru had also kidnapped test subjects. From all across the Land of Fire.

That meant _civilian test subjects_.

The Hidden Village in the Leaf had wronged the whole of Fire Country for not catching one of their own at it before it became bad and harmed the ones they were supposed to protect.

From what little Natsumi had seen of that lab she nearly died in, bad was putting it mildly.

The whole mess had just become an even worse blow to morale. Had Orochimaru not been caught, though, it would've been worse than it got.

The Daimyo, a nobleman by the name of Hajime Daikon, was a pretty great statesman in his own right. After Orochimaru had been sentenced to death for traitorous acts against home and country the noble had turned to the shinobi watching it all and thanked them for rooting out the threat, even if it had come from one of their own. That he knew none of them had been aware of what had been going on, and dragged it into the light to stop it once they had.

His words didn't stop the second guessing or the heightened suspicion rife among the ninja ranks, but did level it off once he spoke to them.

Natsumi even got to meet him before he left Konohagakure no Sato for the capital. She had been with Naomi when Hiruzen brought the Daimyo in to see the results of what his once prized student had done. Tenzou just hid behind Ito until the nobleman left, but since Naomi had been in the assassin's arms the child shyly let the man shake her hand.

Then the girl wouldn't shut up about it to Tenzou for the next two days.

The ANBU captain herself had gotten personal thanks from their rightful ruler, for her actions in both keeping the survivors alive and detaining the traitor until backup arrived.

Hiruzen actually cracked a small smirk at her blush and stammer that it wasn't necessary to thank her for doing her job.

\V/

Natsumi was now well enough to get up and leave her own bed without someone actually pulling her out of it. It had only taken her another two months to get physically well enough to try to get back into shape for kunoichi life.

Not that she went very far, but her kitchen was a pretty good place to sit and recover in.

She was also walking around with a jar of water, swirling it in slow circles as she built up her left-handed control.

While she might have skated through all that without major impairment to life or limb, her control now sucked. Majorly. She kept losing control of her water. It would take two or so months for her control to get back up to pulling off C-rank jutsus again.

Lovely.

She sat in her kitchen for most of the time she wasn't sleeping, twirling water around a little glass jar. Occasionally telling Komushi to stop blowing himself up, it was distracting.

Jiraiya, Minato, and Kushina had pooled their resources together to ensure her Suna-nin student wouldn't get too far behind his studies with his shishou in the hospital.

He was now on explosive seals and exploding a whole lot more often than when he had been just putting chakra into ink, especially bloody ink, and holding it there.

If there was anything Natsumi knew about fūinjutsu, it was explosives.

By grace of a vague chemistry background very few had in this life.

She liked things that went boom… that did not mean she was a pyro, _Inoichi_.

"But… why won't it work?"

"Laws of nature. Water can be forceful, true. But it isn't inherently combustible. There has to be something else in it to make a liquid volatile or explosive."

"So…"

"By the very nature of our chakra, we're not very fiery people. We're mutable, shifting. Sometimes forceful and sometimes not. So is the results of our own bodies. Your explosive seal attempt wasn't doing anything because all you've got at the moment is water type chakra and you are focusing too hard on the water."

Komushi thought about that, a streak of ink across the bridge of his nose. "That's why you have two sigils in each explosive seal. One to handle chakra, the other to convert it to something else."

Natsumi hummed a confirmation, more content just to watch her student come to his own conclusion than explain now.

"The King of the Raging Seas, is what you use to hold and condense the power given to it. But since it's mostly water in nature, it had to give it to something else. So the Roar of the Thunder God… raiton conversion?"

"Very good. Yeah, it might be easier to take the water and shift it to fire. Or even backwards to earth. But lightning is wild and explosive even on its own, and it works well with suiton. So it gives that much more to the explosive capability of my seals."

The darkly tanned teenager across the room nodded absently, his mind already going through why she hadn't simply combined the two into one sigil.

Natsumi let him think, more interested in pondering how the ANBU team guarding her back right now were dealing with the frequent explosions.

It was almost too bad she wasn't up to snuff yet to go spook them. She kinda wanted to know.

"Shishou?"

"Yes?"

"Why don't you just combine them both into one? Wouldn't it be easier?"

…or not. Komushi could be occasionally thick sometimes. "Because a one pronged seal isn't as good as a two, and two isn't as good as three. So on so forth. As to why there are two prongs to my seal? I like even. I'm better at them, so I use them. I don't do four, because four is way too long of a seal for an explosive tag. Too much effort and not enough return."

"Oh… Shishou?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad your home. Jiraiya-sama isn't as through as you are with explanations."

Natsumi snickered. "I bet he loved to hear that."

"Err… I didn't tell him that."

Blackmail was a lovely thing, indeed.

\V/

The really bad thing about recovery was that Natsumi had way too much time to think.

Physically, she might be getting back to where she once was and was now able to do the katas and kenjutsu practice she had once did to condition herself. Chakra-wise she was still royally screwed on. She had done it once before though, she could do it again and rebuild it up to almost her old level.

Mentally had been a crapshoot for years now.

While she was adjusting to the blind spot she now held on her left, her mind liked to run over everything and call her all different shades of a coward.

Naomi, poor little girl-child that had been the worst off of the two Orochimaru experimentation survivors. That Hiruzen had named in her honor.

Natsumi had not been proud of herself to hear that.

Over the years, the Snake Summoner had become fascinated by deviations to chakra natures. Namely Natsumi's spiritually tainted chakra and what she did with it.

Which meant… Naomi was the assassin's fault.

_Motherfucker._

Orochimaru started a whole different experimentation on chakra natures and what he did to affect them. Tenzou was the survivor of the Mokuton kekkai genkai gene experiment he had been doing anyways. Naomi was the last of the children the traitorous sannin experimented on to see what happened if he did this or that to their chakra networks and how they adapted.

Why? Because Orochimaru wanted to learn all the jutsus in existence… and couldn't use Natsumi's kinjutsu.

He could affect it, he figured out how to disrupt it and keep himself from seeing what the ANBU captain had wanted… but he couldn't use it.

Naomi held the opposite of Natsumi's own chakra nature. She held more than her fair share of physical energy, much like the Uzumaki clan vitality he based her experiment off of.

Which meant the girl had chakra maroon in color, not the assassin's original lavender.

The ANBU captain in question had alarmed a lot of people by quietly excusing herself to go cry once she heard. Screw her tough kunoichi image… that was horrifying.

Natsumi had almost wished she had left both children down there… but she was a horrible human being. She had known that for years. Panther the assassin was horrible and brutal so her non-ANBU friends wouldn't have to be. She _was_ older, and knew the world wasn't all that shiny and nice when you got down to it.

There were still some things she would never like… brutalizing children, traitors, unlawful human experiments, and old people harming others when they should be watching for that abuse.

Yes, she was a hypocrite. She was old and apparently did massive harm to others. It wasn't _intentional_ … damn it all. Didn't that count?

What Natsumi wanted to know now, above where the hell they were in the war, was what Orochimaru knew of ROOT.

That would require passing Inoichi's inspection well enough for him to consider sharing information, though.

Natsumi paused in her repetitive motions, cocking her head to the side.

"Not bad, neko-chan!"

She turned with a wide grin. "Taicho! You're home!"

The silver haired jōnin shinobi grinned at her from across the training field. "I'm surprised you're up already. They dragged out your depletion out so long I was a little worried you'd still be recovering when Jiraiya and I got home."

The assassin darted over to the man, slower than she used to be but still recovering that speed. "Naw, I'm a tough little kitty. Still behind on the chakra thing, I haven't even attempted to contact my Leopards yet."

Sakumo hummed, looking her over and estimating how long she had been at it already. "Feel up to something sweet? My treat."

"It's always your treat, unless you want to sleep on the couch." Natsumi stuck her tongue out at him and sidestepped the smack to her head. "But sure."

(ooo000ooo)

Ninja networking was awesome.

Hatake Sakumo was just as awesome, because he didn't mind helping her get her information up to date… as long as it was either war centric or family relevant, at least.

"So no Kumo-nin yet?"

"They've been sniffing around. But we've kept them bottled up pretty well in their peninsula country in the northeast. And you're ANBU scouting rotations in the rear has kept them from actually assaulting the medic's base in the pass." The man told her idly, watching the civilians go by below them.

The two of them had gotten some dango sticks to go, and retreated to the roofs for some people watching.

It was a little cold, because it was almost mid-winter now, but still a very good way to spend time without worrying her mind over old news.

"Mph… well. We needed scouts in the rear anyways. Might as well make sure it would be enough to protect them." Natsumi chewed on her treat, watching closely at the little old lady being helped by a young genin.

"Tsunade-sama just wants to come home and hug you for it. It kept medic deaths down, leaving more for healing the other shinobi. They needed less guards too, so less chūnin underfoot all together."

"I may or may not have gotten Shikaku's help for that. Just so you know."

"He's using you as the excuse for not getting that hug, funnily enough."

The assassin snorted, and with half-chewed dango in her mouth that wasn't a great idea. Tsunade-sama's hugs _hurt_ if you weren't prepared for it. "Great minds think alike, taicho."

"I'm sure they do." The retired ANBU captain responded good-naturedly.

"So…" Natsumi pushed herself upright, having relaxed to a halfway lying down one near the beginning of their conversation. "I need a new katana. And I am really sorry for ruining my old one."

"Ah… that."

"Taicho?"

Sakumo scratched at the line where his usual half-face cloth mask sat on his nose when out of Konoha. "About that… you might as well come home with me, neko-chan. Jiraiya will be there, and there's something we need to decide what to do with."

(ooo000ooo)

The Sword of Kusanagi. The Grass-Cutter Sword of Legend.

The double-edged jian currently sat between the two kenjutsu users, innocently gleaming as master and student stared at it.

"I know… it's impressive and all… but, I don't want it." Natsumi scratched the back of her head awkwardly.

"But it cuts everything!" Kakashi protested, staring at his sister figure in horror. "It's awesome!"

"Kakashi." Sakumo's tone of voice made the younger silver haired shinobi sit back on his heels. "Natsumi has a valid reason not to want it."

"If you like it so much, Kashi-chan, you can have it once taicho says it's okay." The assassin smirked at the pouting younger ninja before shaking her head at her old kenjutsu master. "But… It's been disgraced. And I was the one to do it."

"Can you explain, neko-chan?" Jiraiya asked from the other side of the Hatake's indoor dojo.

"If a sword is turned against it's master, it is a disgraced sword." Natsumi spoke just loud enough for him to hear, crossing her arms under her chest and frowning at the length of steel. "Dishonored. Whichever you would prefer to use. I used it against Orochimaru, who held it at the beginning of the fight. I might not have actually stuck out at him with it, but still. It's an old kenjutsu or samurai superstition, though I don't know which one came first."

"I believe the samurai held that belief long before any shinobi did." Sakumo added with a firm nod.

The assassin believed the same. Not only that, but the man across from her was the one to teach her kenjutsu… and he held the belief to be true so he taught her that.

"I must refuse, shishou." Natsumi murmured with a bow of her head, only slightly regretfully. It was, as Kakashi claimed, rather awesome as a sword. However… she would never have very good memories of it. Not like she did with her old katana.

"I figured that. Very well, we will go to the blacksmith later and see about a new katana for you." Sakumo sighed, looking at the blade with some remorse of his own. "Now we've got to decide what to do with it."

"It's a bit of legend. It doesn't deserve to be melted down." Jiraiya protested, looking between the two sword users in the room.

"Nor does it deserve to be put in a case until it rusts. It's still a good blade if not desirable to the one that officially owns it." The head of the Hatake clan told his best friend with a huff. "It'll probably go to the village's armory until someone wants to use it."

"Let me have it! Natsu-nee said it was alright!" Kakashi protested, looking between his family members. "I'll make it honorable again!"

The assassin blinked at her pseudo littlest brother. A kenjutsu using Kakashi? Well… it was a family art…

She looked up at the father of the child in question, who shrugged back at her to say he didn't mind whatever she wanted to do.

Natsumi reached over and snagged the kid in a hug. "Okay. But not until taicho says your good enough for a live blade. Which means you're going to have to put in some serious hours in here practicing kenjutsu."

She got a firm squeeze in return. "Thanks, Natsu-nee. I'll make you proud to own it."

"I'll display it on the wall." Sakumo added, smirking a little. "Think of it as… visual encouragement."

" _Otou-sama!_ "

\V/

Natsumi eventually hunted down her old genin sensei and the two of them ended up sharing a popsicle in training grounds three.

She also pried all the nasty bits of what Jiraiya was feeling about Orochimaru's turning traitor and subsequent execution out of him.

Better the man blow up at her than any of the others. She could take it, unlike someone who would be less prepared to handle a grief-enraged sannin.

The Toad Sage apologized right after and bought them both the fruit-laced ice, even if it was mid-winter outside. He was still massively depressed about it even after she drew the worst out of him, of how far his teammate had gotten before she had stumbled into it all and promptly killed herself to get away… even if that death hadn't remained permanent for her.

"The funny thing about traitors is that you still love them even after they prove to be complete assholes." Natsumi told her old sensei, licking the frozen stick of orange juice. "Because you knew them before they became complete assholes, and that part of them was perfectly alright to love."

Jiraiya blinked at her, a horrified smirk and grimace mixture on his face. It wasn't a good look for him. "I did _not_ love Orochimaru!"

She kicked him in the calf. "Yes you did. Konoha encourages those kinds of bonds to our teammates. So you loved him like a brother. A girly-looking, snake-freak of a brother, maybe. But still."

The white haired sannin's mouth dropped open, gaping at her.

"But that's okay. Orochimaru might have been girly-looking, and I'm kinda certain he was into men more than women, but the fact you loved him anyways is perfectly okay with us… umm, actually? Are you sure you like women?"

The snort-choke that came out of her old sensei's mouth was rather funny, actually.

Jiraiya then broke down laughing, and Natsumi pretended she couldn't see the tears for what they were.

People handled grief in different ways. Sometimes poking fun worked, and sometimes it didn't. The blow-up at her had drained most of Jiraiya's compressed ire and pain at the subject, letting him see more clearly than he could before.

The sannin next to her snorted, wiping a hand over his eyes. "Yeah, neko-chan. I'm sure I like women."

"If you're sure… I'm not really all that convinced. I think you're just like getting hurt, and that's why you follow around Tsunade-sama like a puppy."

He grinned, a bit bitterly and still a bit sad but not anywhere near as brittle as he used to be. "For the last time, neko-chan. I like _women_."

Natsumi would count that as a win. She'd check the rest of her friends when they came home, but getting her old sensei past the big hump of grief was good enough for now. "Good, now. The real reason I sought you out was because I'm going to need some help contacting the Leopards. I'm not sure when you and taicho are leaving, but some assistance for the first test try would be nice."

Jiraiya sighed, leaning back against the bench and forgoing the stick of frozen fruit juice entirely. "We're set to go back in two weeks. If you're not all there yet, I'll get Minato sent home to help you out."

The assassin used some of her dubious skills to swap the sticks they were holding. His had more on it. "Thanks, sensei."

"You could have just asked for it."

"I need the practice."

\V/

Minato had to be the one to help her get back into contact with her Summons.

Natsumi wiped herself out trying for Jin, but she got him.

The Leopard was good enough to wait until the assassin focused back on him before demanding her explanation for why it had taken her so long to reach him.

The two of them told the big cat, everything that Summons were allowed to know.

Funnily enough, there was an official stance on the Orochimaru betrayal that all Konohagakure no Sato shinobi were to give any of their Summons that asked.

Natsumi… had thought that was strange, but went along with it anyways.

Her very first Summons remained silent as he processed that information. "Tamika-sama is not pleased you are injured but since it was caused in battle, and now with the compromised chakra system impairment, we are allowing an extension on your end of the Contract."

Which was almost word for word what Shikaku had told her, awesome. "I understand. For my forfeit and for her understanding, I am willing to train an additional cub in hunter skills for the Leopard clan. One that I will not re-Summon unless dire emergency strikes at me or mine."

Jin inclined his head to her in acceptance, then un-Summoned himself.

The assassin sank back into Minato's side with a relieved sigh. "Thank kami-sama they're being understanding. Breaking a Contract would suck."

It would also mean Natsumi wouldn't be able to Summon anything else. Summon Contracts depended a lot on the human fulfilling their end of the bargain. If you didn't, none of the better ones would let you sign theirs. If you proved to be either dishonorable or negligent to another Summons clan, another one wouldn't want to risk their members with you.

"Lucky we got the Dogs to send them news, you mean. They already talk a bit because you and Sakumo-sama use them to exchange messages."

"Yeah, that too." Oddly enough, her cats had been less hostile to her taicho's canines starting off. Apparently, large felines were less concerned by slightly smaller Dogs poking around their territory. "It was probably reinforced by whichever Toad sensei sent along with the seal key you all copied from me."

"Speaking of sensei, what did you do?" Minato peered down at her, half-amused at how exhausted she was and half-concerned by the same thing.

"I got him talking. Then accused him of preferring men to women." Natsumi smirked, recalling the humorous parts of that conversation. Being yelled at hadn't been much fun, though. "Is he looking better?"

"He's starting to bother Tsunade-sama to the point she's punching him through walls again. He's even got Inoichi in on it, and we're getting a little concerned for his continued health."

Huh… well, the Slug Princess apparently preferred physical therapy to any emotional one. "Grief counseling. Inoichi should keep sensei from losing too many brain cells."

"I meant we are concerned for Inoichi."

Hmm… right. "Sensei should keep any violence away from him. He's a better target."

Minato blinked a few times as he processed that. "Oh… huh."

Natsumi pushed herself upright. "Now, even though I know Inoichi went over you all with a fine-toothed comb, how are you feeling about it all?"

Her pseudo brother froze. "You mean the Orochimaru thing or you actually dying again?"

…oops. This wasn't going to be fun. The assassin sighed. "Both, either. Hit me."

Minato hauled off and smacked her upside the head. "Don't do that again, sempai. If I'm not allowed to die, neither are you."

" _Damn_ it, Minato! I didn't mean for you to _actually_ hit me!" Natsumi clutched at her head, feeling for any bruises. "Yes, stupid me. I got that. Having scared the shit out of Shika doing that hammered that idea home. I won't do that again if I can help it."

"You scared more than Shikaku with that stunt, Natsumi." Her fellow jōnin grimaced. "The suicide watch excuse wasn't actually an excuse in the beginning."

The assassin rubbed the back of her head, loosening her hair from the already messy hightail it had been in. "I know. And look, I love my life. If I can help it, I won't be leaving it unless I'm going the way I came in. Bloody and screaming curses."

Minato snorted, a wry grin sneaking its way up his face. "Good to hear."

"Besides, I claim godmother rights of any kids you have. And I kinda have to be alive for that to happen."

He sighed, rubbing his face with one hand. "Duly noted. Now stop suggesting to my hime we need to have kids."

"Hey… if I have to wait, you can be miserable with me."

"Thank you ever so for sharing the joy, sempai."

"You're welcome."

\V/

Natsumi got back to chūnin level just in time to assign academy student to jōnin-sensei.

Joy.

Ryoko also hauled off and smacked her one for the scare… but she had once been Horse, so the retired iryou-nin had been forgiven for that.

"Right… where are we with the kids?" Natsumi asked of the room filled with chūnin-instructors and possible jōnin-sensei, rubbing one side of her face as it pinked from the force of the other kunoichi's slap.

"We have most of the possible jōnin-track teams mapped out." Hiruki-sensei told the kunoichi he once taught, smirking slightly at her. He was one of the ones that hadn't been upset some jōnin had come along and changed up the academy while they had been gone. As a matter of fact, he was her strongest supporter in the old chūnin academy instructors. "All that is left is having them approved by a Yamanaka."

"No, we're not anywhere near done!" One of the jōnin-sensei hopefuls spluttered. "This is ill-balanced, to say the least! Personality-wise it might be well-adjusted, but their skills don't match up!"

Someone then snapped at him for trying to get one of the other students for his own team, and a fractious argument broke out.

Natsumi just rubbed at one side of her temple and pulled the file to her so she could see the problem.

Huh… besides Ebisu, Senju, and Sarutobi, she actually knew some of the names rather well. Morino, Maito, Namiashi, and Shiranui were others. There were some good match-ups as it was, but she couldn't find where the jōnin-sensei that spoke up found fault with.

Actually… if the blustering ass was protesting what she thought he was protesting… she was going to snap his neck.

"Are you all trying to tell me you're fighting over the Hokage's son… not what would be best for the kids?"

Natsumi's voice rang out over the argument, and all attention was pulled to the vastly irritated ANBU captain. Flanked by a scarred and smirking kunoichi medic and an amusedly smiling chūnin-sensei, the assassin didn't look all that imposing.

When it looked like one of the other jōnin-sensei was going to snap at her, the ANBU captain lost her patience with them.

Killer Intent was a focusing technique that many could do, but none could do so as well as a person that hated.

Natsumi hated a lot of things, mostly things she had done or hadn't done in her life. Especially herself sometimes.

Needless to say, her Killing Intent was a fair bit worse than many others'. Especially when she thought of poor Naomi.

Ryoko and Hiruki were not the target, so they only flinched under the weight of the technique.

"Sit. _Down._ "

Once everyone was back in their seat, Natsumi let it all go with a sigh. "Since you've all protested so much, I'll redo it. _ALL OF IT_. Any questions?"

When no one spoke, the assassin turned in her chair to smirk at the ANBU squad behind her. She didn't mind using Hawk's squad to make a point, the man still owed her a favor. "Thank you, Hawk-taicho. But as you can see, the jōnin are behaving now."

The scout tipped his head in her direction, melting back into the shadows to keep guarding her back until she was back up to jōnin levels again.

A throat cleared from the doorway, and the assassin winced as she saw who it was. "My apologies, Hiruzen-sama. We had a… argument."

The Hokage waved down the automatic rise his shinobi tried to do when they became aware he was watching. "I felt that, neko-chan. Dare I hope you've left the jōnin-sensei in good enough condition to teach?"

"They'll live. Unless they start arguing over Koichi-kun again."

"I see, but that does mesh well with the topic I came down here to discuss." The Third Fire Shadow stepped into the room, removing his wide-brimmed hat and setting it on the table. "About my son, neko-chan."

"Is something wrong, Hiruzen-sama?" Natsumi blinked at the man, checking the kid's scores again and wondering if the academy had missed some lesson somewhere.

"I suppose it would be better to say I have a request." The older shinobi amended with a slight smile as he took a seat at the table they were using. The other jōnin in the room had moved out of his way just to allow him to do that. "For while you are benched from ANBU, again."

The assassin winced for a second time. That had been happing with disturbing frequency lately. "Forgive me, Hiruzen-sama. It was not my intent to become injured again."

"I understand. It was a very extenuating circumstance that caused you to become injured." The man's smile dimmed as he recalled who had caused her the injury, but he forged on anyways. "I was hoping you might take on a genin team of your own for at least a year."

Natsumi blinked at him, shocked.

Hiruzen simply puffed on his pipe while her brain restarted.

"Oh… sure?" The ANBU captain cleared her throat, not acknowledging the squeak in her voice. "Is there any particular students you want me to take on?"

The Hokage smirked at her. "My son, neko-chan. I will feel much safer knowing one of my best ANBU captains is guiding him through genin life."

Huh… well. Natsumi was totally planning on throwing Kakashi at Minato already… and Rin and Obito when the two graduated the year after.

…wow. Flattery… not needed but appreciated.

She had played with the idea of taking on a team, but hadn't though she would have the time. Now though… she had to build up another ANBU team or decide to get out, and well before that she needed to rebuild her skills back to her old levels.

Again, she seemed to be Konoha's answer for any needed anti-assassin guarding.

Taking on a team would allow her another month or so of recovery, maybe getting almost back to her old levels again before the kids were ready for a C-rank of their own and she could start casing ANBU headquarters for another two squad members.

On the other hand… D-ranks… not fun.

The assassin sighed and leaned back in her seat. "Well… if I am going to redo the whole thing… might as well find myself one. Alright, Hiruzen-sama. I'll take Koichi-kun. It would stop the freaking arguments anyways."

The Fire Shadow nodded sharply, not having any doubts the kunoichi would have refused but still interested in how she would handle this. "Will you be placing Senju Nawaki with him?"

"Honestly? We really shouldn't." Natsumi pulled the records back to her, leafing through them to find some good if not best matches for the kids. "They might start resenting it if we keep forcing them together. They work pretty well now and they're not living in each other's pockets. So, although I would recommend the two of them for chūnin team builds I wouldn't for a genin now. They need some space to grow out before we bind them together."

Hiruzen accepted that with another nod, knowing of her basis in psychology. He had used that before himself. "Then who would you pick for your own team?"

"Morino. He's a snotty little gaki, but given his temperament he should fall in line after the first major fight once he realizes Koichi-kun is a good leader. My ANBU rank could also be used to keep him in line until then."

Having a kid slotted for Diplomacy have a readymade in with Intelligence and the T&I department might help him out later in life. She remembered the scars Ibiki had in another life, and damn it all if she was going down without taking her opponents with her.

"As for… the third member of the team…" Natsumi flipped through the psych-evaluations she had. There were not very many good kunoichi in this last batch, apparently. "Maito Gai. Good genjutsu backup, at the very least."

Huh… he apparently _hadn't_ started out as a taijutsu user.

"Very well, and for Nawaki-kun?"

"Namiashi and Shiranui." Raito and Gemma, two who she knew made it to tokubetsu jōnin without her meddling. She didn't know who had originally been on the kid's genin team, but changing it all up would probably help a little at the very least.

Natsumi would still personally checkup on the last Senju Grandson's genin team… but this way she had a ready-made reason to do it in.

\V/

A week before she was to pick up her own genin team, Team Nine, the changeover happened again.

Natsumi practically barreled into her newly returned husband the moment he stepped back through the clan compound's gates. " _Shika!_ "

The Nara clan head grunted under the impact, but swept her up in a hug anyways. "Feeling better now?"

"I'm almost back to fighting shape." The assassin grinned up at him, bouncing on her toes a little. "Even better than that… I've got a genin team!"

"What?"

"I've been asked to take a short leave of absence from ANBU, because I keep getting injured. Two major injuries in three years isn't good for me." She stopped bouncing, thinking back to the conversation she had with the Hokage and Bear about it. "So I've got a year of simply jōnin work ahead. Hiruzen-sama asked me to take on Koichi-kun, and now I've got a genin team."

"On top of Komushi?"

"He's getting better." Natsumi pouted up at him, since the shadow master hadn't been around for the explosive seal experiments. "Komushi's almost ready to start scripting his own seal work. But he doesn't need nearly as much supervision as before. So he moved out to an apartment nearby, but he still comes around for advice sometimes."

Shikaku grinned fondly at her. "So the Suna-nin is gone? What about the wood workshop?"

"I let him look at all the seals in there, and copy the parts he wanted."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Then since we're no longer playing host…"

The Nara clan head threw her over his shoulder again and made his way to the house.

"Hey!"

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi ambushed Inoichi the very next day, mostly because her husband hadn't wanted to let her go.

"Well?"

The interrogator sighed, kicking up his feet on the coffee table. "What? Do you want the psychology adjustments records from the front, or something else?"

Frowning, the assassin swung her feet a little. "Something else. Did… Orochimaru know about ROOT?"

The Yamanaka clan head drummed his fingers against the back of his couch. "To be bluntly honest, I don't know. The traitor knew how my clan's jutsus worked, then he found a way around it. That's why Kushina had to be the one to rip that cursed seal off your neck, I couldn't get anything out of his head about it or anything else."

Slumping, she sighed and knocked her head back into the chair she was sitting in. "Fucking fantastic. That was the whole reason I tripped into that crap almost completely blind. I was hoping it would prove the situation one way or another."

"Reckless."

"And I lost two good squad members for it. I know, Inoichi."

He simply watched her, knowing she usually had more than one reason to seek him out.

"And I feel like a complete and utter failure. But Bat died to ensure I would live, so I'll do so. Boar… he's not happy, but he's not unhappy either. So I can accept that, both of them and what they are now. It is the kids that are ripping at me."

"You're genin team you haven't gotten yet?"

"No… there were two survivors of Orochimaru's experiments. Remember? Boar had guarded them for me."

"Ah… yeah. I didn't think the girl would survive at the time."

"She did and that's awesome. Hiruzen-sama named her for me, Naomi. Tenzou's the other."

Inoichi frowned slightly. "But you rescued them, why-"

"Because Naomi's _my fault!_ Orochimaru couldn't use my kinjutsu, even if he could disrupt it like sensei could! So he started… oh _kami_ …"

"Oh fuck." He stated simply as he sat straight up, blinking his lavender eyes at her hunched over form. "Shit… not good. Natsumi?"

The assassin held her breath, waiting out the desire to panic. She hadn't had a panic attack since she was five, and damn well wasn't starting now. "Okay…"

She had wasted over half a year on this crap, and all she had to show for it was a damaged chakra system, maybe tokubetsu jōnin level skills, and an extra survivor of Orochimaru's experimentation. Who probably balanced out Anko's situation, since that would never come to be again. That was completely her fault.

Konohagakure no Sato would lose Orochimaru's help, however twisted the man had been he was an excellent ninjutsu specialist, in the Third Great War.

Not good.

"Ha… I'm a horrible person. I almost started wishing I never went down there… then I learned about the two of them. And they _love_ me, they follow me around when I visit and they both have a copy of my ANBU mask."

She blinked away the water out of her eyes.

"Natsumi… It was better for all of us that you did. What if you had waited for backup before going down there? More ANBU would have meant more targets, and I can't see how more bodies down there would have helped you in confined quarters. If you had waited? Orochimaru might have gotten away, and continued his experiments on other children."

Orochimaru might have given the Mokuton gene therapy to Danzō, then gotten away to continue his perversion of science on Otogakure… Which wouldn't be founded now. Huh… silver lining.

The assassin sniffed, thinking that through. The bone kid, the one Orochimaru had intended to be his body next before Uchiha Sauske… if she ever got over to Mist she should probably look into that clan… or it's remains. There were also a lot of other shinobi that wouldn't have to suffer through getting twisted or perverted just because a snake obsessed sannin wanted to know what this or that did to the human body.

Kabuto… that kid, and Danzō… she might be able to step in somewhere and snag him. He got pretty damn near twisted under Orochimaru… maybe she could help him out?

Nonō, hadn't the Mother at the orphanage have something to do with it all? It had been a while since Natsumi had last visited, maybe she should again just to check up on the orphanage's shinobi trainees.

"Right, fucked either way." Natsumi hauled herself upright again, still scowling but feeling less adrift than she had been for the last two months. "I suppose you have a point. Cold comfort, really. But… he could've gotten away."

"Good…" But he eyed her suspiciously, and she knew she wouldn't be getting away with spilling that to him without talking more about it for long. "Now, what did you do to Jiraiya-sensei? He left the front about ready to snap, but came back a little sad but determined to get Tsunade-sama to talk to him about it."

"I called him gay. Really."

Inoichi stared at her for a long moment. Then slapped a hand over his face and groaned out a laugh. "The two of you are so weird. I swear…"

"It worked! You can't argue with results, Inoichi!"

"Yes I can! How the hell did that work?"


	12. Conditioning and Retraining

_You can train yourself to move in certain ways. You can train yourself to think in different ways. No matter how old or young you are, you can change something about yourself if you put in the effort to do it._

_But be careful… others can train you too. And more often than not, you'll never realize it until too late what they trained you to do. Be sure you trust your instructors before giving them power over you._

* * *

There was a crack in her katana's blade.

Actually, it was a bit worse than _just_ a crack… considering the whole blade had shattered.

It had started with a crack, though.

The Sword of Kusanagi had pierced it nearly exactly between the sharpened edge and the unsharpened spine of her sword. The pressure Natsumi then extorted on it to wrench the jian from Orochimaru's hands had widened the cut into a jagged crack nearly the whole length of the blade. Throwing it off the Grass-Cutting Sword's blade with centrifugal force hadn't helped any, because once it hit the floor the jagged crack extended farther and her sword fell to pieces.

Her old katana was now in four major pieces. The hilt, which held maybe three inches of sword to it still. Then two pieces of the actual length of it, one larger that used to make up the unsharpened edge and the smaller one that used to be the bladed edge. Finally the top two inches, which had cracked off once she sloughed her old katana off to wield the Sword of Kusanagi against the traitorous sannin. Not including all the little shards of Damascus metal that flaked off here and there.

Sakumo had saved it all from a blacksmith's scrapheap for Natsumi; knowing the assassin had been attached to his kenjutsu mastery gift to her and that she would probably want to honor those years of service it had given her before finding herself something new.

She couldn't use it anymore as it was… not with it in four separate pieces.

Unless… she had a smith re-forge it all, and reincarnate her sword into another form like she herself had been.

Ludicrously, her mind kept drawing parallels between her life and her katana. Which wouldn't let her decide firmly on what she wanted to do with it.

The hilt would be her past life, Fiona's life as a Staff Sargent of the United States Army. Which was somewhat still useful to Natsumi. The military experience, ancient history, menial skills, and psychology interests she had then were somewhat useful in this life. She still made use of it all, from cooking to military-style psychology.

The larger piece of the unsharpened blade would be her will, to survive then to assist her precious people in the shadows of the Fire. What she had built off of when she decided to do something about that story she once read. Steel in her spine, iron will, and all that. The part that let her keep moving forward after losing everything once before, and kept her moving in the face of all her missteps.

The smaller, sharpened blade would be the edge she had now. The somewhat unnerving, calculating, and cold-blooded assassin she had become after the bitter death of the soldier. Natsumi wasn't entirely sure she liked that, but it was what she was now. Denial would only harm herself and her precious ones in the end.

The tip was everything she, Minato, Jiraiya, and Inoichi managed to salvage of Fiona and then turn into Natsumi. Her personality, from loving explosives to being slightly perverted. Her mentality, inquisitive and questioning. Even her love of woodworking, now that she owned up to it all to her other friends.

What the hell was the crack supposed to be then?

The damage she sustained fighting off Orochimaru?

It didn't fit, not as neatly as her mind would like. She was recovering, and while she might not get back to her old level of skill anytime soon… it wouldn't be longer than a year or two before she got back her jōnin level skills and her ANBU rank. That didn't require being forged again.

Her motivation hadn't shattered either, Minato was still one of her most dear people here and she would willingly lay down her life to help him, Kushina, and Naruto out. If anything, she was more attached to her kouhai now than when she had practically lived with the kid on the same genin team. Uzumaki Kushina had just gotten better with age, mellowing out but getting fiercer at the same time.

What else was left?

…the story?

Natsumi sat back and thought about that, cracking her neck with a sharp turn of her head to loosen the stiffness gathering there.

That… might not be a bad analogy. It was something she knew her subconscious worried over a lot, given her dreams and nightmares at night.

How much of it was still relevant and how much of it had she shattered into little bits already?

"Natsumi? Are putting the remains away or not?"

Frowning faintly, she glanced up to her kenjutsu master. He had been patiently waiting for her to gather her thoughts and decide about the katana question for a while now.

The shinobi that should've died nearly five years ago, committing ritual suicide to stave off the ire of a Hidden Village from falling on his son's shoulders. For starting a war they weren't ready for until nearly a whole year after the point he started it.

Hatake Sakumo looked rather amused at her indecision, not annoyed. "It is not that hard of a choice, neko-chan. Let your old katana rest, or try to reuse it?"

Natsumi shut the lacquered wooden box she had made for her old katana's remains and set the box of sword bits in the spot her taicho had cleared out for her under his dojo flooring. Where about ten other broken blades used by the Hatake clan of Konohagakure no Sato rested after use had shattered them.

Shinobi could be really hard on their equipment, which was why they obsessed over inspection and care of their steel. Especially sneaky samurai, who turned to the shadows for help instead of finding themselves another noble patron after being betrayed by their old one.

There was a graveyard for broken swords under the Hatake clan dojo… that her kenjutsu mastery gift now rested within.

"Let's go get me something new, taicho. That one had proved to be a bit… weak, in spots."

As far as omens went, it might not be a bad one. Natsumi wasn't all that sure about it anyways.

Regardless, she still had a few shards of that story left to grind into dust.

\V/

"…Team Nine will be Morino Ibiki, Sarutobi Koichi, and Maito Gai under Nara Natsumi. Team Thirteen will…"

Koichi's head nearly hit his desk when he jerked in surprise.

Had he heard that right?

The eldest of the Sarutobi brothers exchanged a wide-eyed look with his best friend Senju Nawaki. Since his fellow shinobi trainee looked as dumbfounded as he did, he had to have heard that right.

He was getting Natsumi-nee-chan as a jōnin-sensei.

Koichi wasn't sure how he felt about that.

He knew her, true. He was pretty sure the kunoichi didn't really like him all that much, just tolerated him tagging along with her sort-of little brother when Kakashi went to bug her. He was also pretty sure she actually liked Asuma and Nawaki more than him. Reporting for the last year hadn't been to her like it had been for half of the year before, Hiruki-sensei had taken the reports for his year's progress.

Why was she now his jōnin-sensei?

If anyone, he had been expecting her to volunteer for Kakashi's genin team.

He got up anyways, and moved over to where his supposed teammates were sitting.

Maito Gai was alright, really. A genjutsu specialist that had a fascination with taijutsu. The kid himself was a little odd, but since illusion users needed very good imagination and chakra control that could be excused.

Morino Ibiki was… a brat. He was curt and rude, a stealth specialist that picked infiltration when given the option.

Koichi couldn't see why he was on this team. A scout specialist on this team didn't seem to balance it out well.

Actually, thinking about it a bit more, he could see why he was on the team. A scouting team under a stealth specialist jōnin. Him for long range, Morino for short, and Maito for some illusionary defense. Their Natsumi-sensei would be for anything they couldn't handle.

Now he just had to figure out what Nara Natsumi specialized in other than kenjutsu and fūinjutsu. Koichi knew it wasn't either espionage or infiltration, but he also couldn't get what third option there was for stealth specialists from his father or mother or any of the other shinobi he knew and had asked.

Instead he simply waited, listening as Nawaki got assigned to Team Twenty with Namiashi Raido and Shiranui Genma under Hyūga Hizashi.

Lucky.

After all the teams were assigned the remaining class that passed the genin graduation test broke up and wandered off to connect with their possible teammates. Leaving Team Nine sitting in the class, waiting on their sensei.

It only took the jōnin kunoichi fifteen minutes, but Ibiki was already looking rather surly by the time she got to them.

Natsumi-sensei just blinked at them, sighed, and told them to follow her.

(ooo000ooo)

She took them to Training Grounds Three, sat up against one of the stumps, and told them they had until noon.

Koichi stared at her at first, but she seemed pretty content just to wait.

"Until noon for what?" Ibiki asked the rest of the team after a silent moment, sounding a little bewildered.

"Jōnin-sensei test." Since he was the son of the Hokage, Koichi knew about those. "We passed the genin one, now we've got to pass her test to get the jōnin-track or be shunted to the Genin Corps."

He hadn't really expected her to pull the bell test like Jiraiya-sama probably used on her genin team. It was his father's test, and she probably knew he knew all about it. It would have been so much easier, but that probably was why she wasn't using it.

Gai started to look a little panicked. "What test? Natsumi-sensei just said 'you've got until noon'!"

"I don't know, okay!" It probably wasn't good to be snapping at his own teammates in front of their jōnin-sensei, so Koichi turned and made for the other side of the clearing. "Come on, she's not going to tell us anything. We've got to figure it out ourselves."

Near the tree line, Koichi stopped and looked at his two teammates. All the while thinking hard of what he knew and trying to come up with what this jōnin's test was about.

Natsumi-sensei was a Nara, and although lazy the Nara clan usually had a reason for anything they put effort into. That commonly accepted misconception was what let those clan members surprise so many when they actually _moved_. You expected them to just laze about even in the middle of a fight, but Koichi knew they could be pretty damn quick when they wanted to be.

Naras just liked making everyone think they were lazy, and it didn't just make less hassle for them to deal with. It was a misdirection, one that the whole clan had gotten in on and enjoyed perpetuating the rumor of it to others. The Nara clan shinobi weren't the only ones in Konohagakure no Sato to do it.

Koichi had heard why there were common misconceptions about Leaf shinobi clans from his father, and had to admit the façade was usually very convenient for their major clans to hide their real skills behind. You wouldn't expect an Aburame to know katon jutsus, an Inuzuka to be subtle, an Uchiha to be patient, or an Akimichi to use stealth. When they did those things they weren't supposedly suited to, they threw off more than just everyone's expectations for them. They threw opponents that relied too heavily on those generally accepted guidelines off for a few precious moments, too.

There _was_ a reason for Natsumi-sensei's time limit beyond her just being lazy, now they just had to figure out what it was.

"It's got to be something we've got the answer to already." Koichi told his teammates seriously, still thinking over everything he knew of his jōnin-sensei. "But not an obvious one, or something she knows we know but wouldn't immediately put together with the time limit."

"Aren't you the Hokage's son? Shouldn't you already have the answer?" Ibiki asked nastily, glaring.

"It doesn't work that way, baka." Koichi snapped back, irritated. "Yeah, I pretty much know what's going on. But they won't just hand me the answers, I'm a genin too."

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi wished she had some popcorn.

Hanging out in a tree while her little team of macho men squabbled below wasn't her preferred method of entertainment, but it was pretty good on its own.

Koichi had, as expected, stepped up to lead now that there wasn't a clear leader. Ibiki was preforming to expectations too, needling the boy he thought of as a papered prince and just being a little asshole in general. Poor Gai, he was trying to keep the peace between them all.

She was probably being a little mean, forcing them to get this fight out of the way early… but her boys needed some life lessons before getting into ninja life.

Like the fact Ibiki was now the only stable wage-earner for his little family since his father died in service, and had to help his mother provide for his little brother. He was perfectly in his right to be surly about it, but Gai had it just as bad since it was only him and his elderly grandfather left of his own family. They both needed to know that although Koichi still had his whole family, he was such a major target he wasn't given the secrets of Konoha for his own protection.

They needed to understand where each other was coming from before they would make an even halfway decent team. You couldn't force something from nothing, and some understanding would foster much better bonds later.

…wow. Where did Koichi learn that curse from?

…huh. Genjutsu specialist or not, Gai could still throw a punch.

Natsumi kept a sharp eye on it all, but unless they pulled steel she wouldn't get involved until the end.

(ooo000ooo)

Koichi stared wide-eyed at Gai. He… hadn't known that.

Ibiki had also froze when the genjutsu user had spilled exactly how much worse he had it than the infiltrator.

Gai just glared at them, rubbing the purpling black eye he had gotten from punching Ibiki in the first place.

He sighed, releasing his other teammate and lowering his fist. "Look, I know you both think I've gotten a free ride just because I'm Otou-sama's son. But it doesn't work that way. Since he is so important, I don't get to spend a lot of time with him. Nor do I get to hear everything that goes on in Konoha. I've maybe seen him a grand total of three times in the last month, and that was actually a lot since I did graduate from the academy. Your otou-san may be dead, but at least you didn't come in third place in their order of priority. Konoha and her shinobi come before my family for Otou-sama."

Koichi blinked at the surprised expressions on his teammates' faces, then blinked again when Natsumi-sensei dropped from the tree across from him and landed lightly on her toes.

The jōnin kunoichi simply reached over, hauled Ibiki back up to a sitting position, and sat down again. This time with them and not against something. "Right, you all pass."

He fell backwards on his ass in surprise.

Natsumi-sensei quirked a small smirk at them. "Now that you know each other, my turn. I was an orphan, my kaa-chan was killed in battle when I was three. I was raised in an orphanage until my genin graduation, and moved to the standardized housing for genin without means. Swapped over to the chūnin apartments when I was promoted at thirteen. Stayed there until jōnin promotion at sixteen then moved again, and married my husband not too long after so I moved for the final time to the Nara compound. I was rather lucky to be included with another genin trainee's leadership test, and I've had some very good friends count me among them as I became the kunoichi I am now. I am now nineteen and a stealth specialist, kenjutsu user, Summoner of the Leopards… and I tend to dabble in fūinjutsu when I can."

"So… wait. It was just to get to know each other?" Koichi felt a little dazed, that was it?

"Of course not. You each had to get this little fight out of the way." The mismatched, pale eyes of the kunoichi's gleamed at him in amusement. "And… you three didn't really know each other that well. Now you do, without the assumptions your fellow classmates impressed on each of you."

The older of the Sarutobi brothers flushed red. He knew that not everything was as it seemed at first, but had judged his teammates by secondhand information anyways. As for his teammates, only Ibiki looked guilty too. Gai just nodded seriously at their sensei's words.

"It wasn't wrong to get some prior information others assumed about each of you, but it wasn't completely _correct_ information either. Was it?"

Koichi grimaced at that. "I'm sorry Ibiki-san. I should've at least asked."

"I probably wouldn't have told you." His teammate grumped, arms crossed over his chest and scowling into the distance. "I don't like talking about it."

Gai shot to his feet, a determined expression on his face. "I must beg forgiveness myself! I… uh…"

"Probably shouldn't have thrown the first punch?" Natsumi-sensei prompted wryly after the other genin trailed off, trying to think what he should apologize for.

The genjutsu user brightened and spun to the alarmed looking infiltrator only to bow. "Ibiki-san! I must beg your forgiveness for punching you!"

"It's alright, just don't do it again. That hurt." Ibiki looked a bit sheepish at the intensity of their third teammate, rubbing at his bruised jaw.

Natsumi-sensei just pinched the bridge of her nose, muttering about the kami and a 'green' something.

Gai nodded seriously in return, then turned to Koichi with a considering expression. "I did not hold many assumptions of you both, but I did assume you knew of what Natsumi-sensei would attempt simply because of whose son you are. You have my apologies for that as well."

"I did know. I just didn't think about it." Teamwork, the basis of his father's genin test. Of working together even if you didn't know them very well, of trusting the others to cover if he didn't know or needed time to work it out. Natsumi-sensei just adapted and panicked him with a lack of guidelines and rules about it. "I'll work on that, guys."

"Now that we've gotten the sappy part of this out of the way," Natsumi-sensei drawled dryly, "I want each of you to think of what you want from me. Because I know what I'm going to need from you, and that's going to be a bit tricky. Sit down, Gai-kun."

She waited until the genjutsu user did plop down to listen to her, then looked each of them fully in turn.

"If you haven't noticed yet, we're an Intelligence scouting team. For both large populations and wilderness. Koichi-kun for open spaces, Ibiki-kun for tight ones. Gai-kun, you're our backup. That means we are not a combat team, we'll be doing more dodging and running than fighting. And if you haven't noticed, there's a war going on."

It hadn't impacted Konoha too much, yet anyways. The war was literally two countries away, and didn't stress the merchant routes Konoha maintained in any major way. Other than the shinobi coming back from the front in Earth and the steadily climbing death-toll, there weren't very many signs in the village that they were at war.

Metal supplies were becoming a bit stressed, but Konohagakure already had a method of recycling used steel in place long before the war started cutting off fresh supplies. They, blacksmiths and merchants that needed that metal for their livelihood, were getting a little stressed but they weren't desperate yet.

Koichi knew of the war's impact on the village because of the merchants and traders that liked to talk when waiting to see his father, and from some of the ninja that he was good enough to eavesdrop on.

"Konoha is trying to keep Kumo from getting into our scuffle with Iwa, but that's looking less and less likely as we run into more resistance in Earth proper. Nothing confirmed is coming out of Kiri, but that just means we can't get teams or spies in there to send word back. We will probably be cutting our teeth on scouting missions to the northwest or southwest of the Land of Fire after the usual D-ranks to build teamwork, and if either country decides they want in we might be in the way. So that means I need you three to decided what part of combat you want to learn, in case you ever need to fend off an attack until I can get there."

She turned to Gai, utterly serious enough to effortlessly hold their attention. "I know you specialized in genjutsu, but you need to seriously think if you want to use that creativity to mess with people's heads or cause them to kill each other. I know a good genjutsu mistress, and one of her bitterest regrets is the things she's done to her imagination just to become a mistress of the art for battle use. I can do some illusions myself, as I have a kinjutsu I use for distraction based in Yin Release. So I can teach you, but it's not a very pretty way to fight."

Leaving him to think about it, Natsumi-sensei then turned to Ibiki. "For you, you're currently a gaki. That's alright, you'll grow out of it and become an imposing jōnin even if others are just looking at you. I can teach you to use that, and I can teach you to be an infiltrator. I've known two really good shinobi that specialized in the same thing and I've watched them do it. Be sure it's what you want to become, before we start you on it."

Koichi nearly flinched as she turned that dead serious attention on him. "I know you, Koichi-kun. I've watched you find what you're good at as one of Kashi-kun's friends. I can help you become a good scout, but I can also help you in other ways. You need to think on what you can learn from me, and decide what you want. I also know you're very careful about those you get close to, because you are Hiruzen-sama's son and there are others that would like to use that for themselves. That watchfulness is a good trait for shinobi to have, but a little hard to get past when you just watch your fellow ninja and refuse to decide how to respond to them."

(ooo000ooo)

Koichi looked a little surprised at that, and Natsumi was hard pressed not to smirk at him.

She was pretty sure not very many shinobi would have told the kid of any faults he might have to his face before, but the assassin didn't believe in coddling her genin. Before had been different, he had been one of her pseudo-littlest brother's friends and just an academy trainee. Now he was her little soldier, and needed to know to survive in their not-so-obvious world. Overthinking and underestimating were two of shinobi life's greatest sins.

She did look at each of her little genin one last time before getting up. "Now. You all are dismissed for the day. Go spend time together or not, it probably won't matter much because we'll be seeing a lot of each other for the next few months. Come back here at seven tomorrow morning, we'll break down your skills and take a good look at what you still need to work on. I've got a few things to take care of, so I'll see you all then."

The assassin planted a foot on a nearby tree trunk and sprung upwards, removing herself from sight if not hearing range.

Just in case.

Without her all her boys did was complain a bit, and Ibiki called her mean, before splitting up half an hour later to go home.

Natsumi figured that was the best she was going to get right now, and headed for the Hokage's Tower to report her team as passed.

They all had to wait until the stragglers came in around high noon, but once all jōnin-sensei were present Hiruzen called them to order and started listing down which teams passed and which had failed the jōnin's testing. She passed Team Nine when it was her turn, and listened with a bit of worry until Hizashi passed Team Twenty.

She cheated a little for Nawaki, sue her.

Being able to grin in his face afterwards was just all types of fun. "Come on, someone needed to share my misery. Welcome to the wonderful world of D-ranks with your own gakis."

"Thank you ever so, Natsumi." The Hyūga jōnin just rubbed his left arm while staring a hole in her back. "I am delighted to be the one you decided to share your misery with."

"You're welcome." She chirped at him as she led the way out of the Tower. "Someone had to do it, and a lot of our friends are all clan heads. Who are all just mean for being excused from taking on genin teams."

It was also Senju Nawaki, whose death contributed to Tsunade's drunken binge around the Elemental Countries. There were not many Natsumi would trust for the brat, and Hizashi owed her a favor. After a fair few of the possible jōnin-sensei dropped out when Hiruzen asked her to take on his son, she had to scramble for someone else to take the Last Senju Grandchild's team that didn't just want the prestige of taking Nawaki or Koichi on as students.

"I have plans for the others, just so you know." Natsumi blissfully informed her fellow jōnin, a something she learned from the man's fiancé. "I'm going to throw one at Minato next year. He needs to get on top of getting his fūinjutsu mastery anyways, so he'll be joining us. Mikoto too, she'll be getting one of her own. And Kizashi, now that he's joined us lofty shinobi at jōnin rank."

Hizashi flexed the arm he had injured out in Earth, still doing the physical therapy he had been told to do to strengthen the muscles after getting his left forearm badly broken and left immobile to heal. "As amusing as I am sure you find assigning teams without prior warning, maybe you should at least inform the others you are going to 'throw' teams at them as well."

She stopped just outside of the Tower, looking back at the Hyūga that had been following her out of the building. "We need to do them anyways, so why not now? I'm trying to ensure they're staggered enough not to majorly affect our deployments, before we get the official warnings to take on a team soon or be assigned one. Or there will be a chunk of us trying to get several new teams in shape for surviving the time we'll be missing from Konoha."

His eyebrows rose, and the jōnin nodded thoughtfully as he comprehended her goal. "I see. I am sure I speak for the others when I say thank you for ensuring we are not overwhelmed. However-"

"Prior warning would be preferable, got it."

Natsumi might be doing something inherently wrong in assigning her friends and comrades with the next generation of jōnin she knew of… but she really didn't care. Anything and everything she could think of to help her more important people survive was acceptable to her. She knew just because she assigned the kids she knew the names of to her friends didn't necessarily mean they would survive, but it might give them a better chance of it in this altered world.

She already knew she was a horrible person, and that didn't look to be getting any better.

Natsumi just prayed there wasn't another Naomi out there.

\V/

Three weeks later, Natsumi was nearly beating Shikaku's head into the floor.

Tokubetsu jōnin level at the moment or not, recovering or not, she was still kunoichi and used to far more excitement that she'd been getting for the last half a year.

"Why did I think this was a good thing? Those gakis are going to kill me! Or I'll kill _them!_ Then Hiruzen-sama will kill _me!_ "

Her husband calmly gripped her hands to keep her from trying to shake him anymore, and since he was lying on the porch it wasn't really all that possible without severe trauma to his head. "Natsu, _really?_ They're _genin_ , you can't expect them to get their act together without some bumps or bruises."

She pouted at him for that unhelpful reminder, leaning back and letting him get away with shifting her grip. "Yeah… I know. But damn it all, I want something a little better than the freaking D-rank missions every day."

"That will take longer than a few weeks. Didn't you say one of your brats decided to change specialties?"

Maito Gai had taken her warning to heart and was now looking for something else to make his shinobi career with. Natsumi had already vowed not to simply shove her brats into the roles she knew they would be good at, so she was just helping him decide and try a few things out. It was… taking a while for Gai to figure out if he liked something or not.

The time had been mostly well spent, she had already taken Ibiki in hand and showing him the really neat parts of being a stealth specialist. Koichi had been thoughtful for a whole week, but started trying to include himself more in team training exercises and working on his speed.

When they weren't arguing, that is. That happened nearly daily between Ibiki and Koichi, with Gai getting into it every once in a while. If she wore a watch, she could probably set time by those arguments.

For Natsumi, she had taken the extra time every day to go visit Tenzou and Naomi without raising Inoichi's suspicions over any misplaced guilt on her end.

She was guilty, damn it. Just not in the way the Yamanaka had thought she was blaming herself. That did end up being a very awkward conversation with the mind walker, but she managed to shift her friend's assumptions to her feeling guilty over Ito's leg.

She also got his opinion on her unease with herself, for being the assassin now and not the soldier from then.

Natsumi was still thinking on his words, as she really didn't think it was such a good thing, but his assurances that she was keeping that darker edge of herself away from her usual life helped a little.

Inoichi was just happy that she noted it might become an issue and talked to him about it on her own.

She was pretty damn certain it was currently an issue. The question now was what she should do about it.

Instead of arguing with her husband, which she didn't feel like doing anyways, the assassin simply sighed and sat back on his waist. "You're no help, Shika. You're a man, they're boys. Shouldn't there be some kind of mystical manly thing you all do to bond and stuff?"

Shikaku started chuckling, even as he laced their fingers together to keep her from trying to harm him again. "Do kunoichi? I'm not entirely certain what it is you want from me, Natsu."

"Actually, yeah. We female ninja bond over the blood, bones, and guts of our fallen enemies. Didn't you know? The spa dates and tea parties are pretty awesome as well. And I want to know what boys do, besides get into fistfights and go drinking to gripe about their wives. They're a bit young for sake… and for girls, for that matter."

It was totally his fault his head hit the porch again. Natsumi just waited out her husband's laughter with a huff.

"Natsu." Shikaku tugged their hands to look his wife in the eyes once he was done snickering at her. "Boys… ha, boys just like to fight. That's why your team is squabbling right now. Yes, for a team of kunoichi what you did to them in the beginning might have worked for good. But they're not girls. A male ego will not let something like a slight go without either blood involved or major trauma. If you hadn't noticed, boys don't like to talk about their feelings."

"You don't say." Natsumi deadpanned at him, still pouting. "It's like pulling teeth to get Ibiki-kun to admit he's being a little gaki about something. And _Koichi-kun!_ You'd think he'd have a good grasp on shinobi mentality, but he thinks way too much! Gai-kun… is just kinda weird sometimes, really."

"Then give them something to fight, not over or about. Just… something to fight."

The assassin sighed heavily. It would have been a hell of a lot easier if there had been enough kunoichi graduating to put one on the team, girls worked like glue for shinobi teams. There hadn't been very many of them though, and she didn't feel like stripping that from another team just to meld her brats together.

She counted as kunoichi, right?

She might know they would become decent tokubetsu jōnin alone, mostly anyways. Now she just had to figure out how to make them even better, without killing them herself.

Because she was pretty certain Hiruzen would take exception to that.

"That's going to have to wait until Gai-kun finds his slot."

"Then it's going to take more time that you've given it, Natsu. For the meantime, just… enjoy the free show."

\V/

Natsumi blinked and put the carving tools in her hand down.

Komushi just looked expectant.

"Okay, how that works." The assassin turned around and fully faced her student, pondering how to explain it to him. "Touch-based fūinjutsu is half-mental exercise and half-chakra control. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but in seals the main thing is that a key exists for it."

The Sand-nin just nodded, taking a seat on one of her workshop's benches because her explanations could get a little long-winded.

"If the key does exist already, and it's laced with your chakra, all which is really needed for it is a chakra pathway with the representing sigil for the fūinjutsu to work through it. We normally use ink to make such a thing, but there are those like Minato and Jiraiya-sensei that can merely touch something and burn their chakra in a pathway into whatever they're touching."

"So, it's fūinjutsu… without the ink?"

"Pretty much, only in three dimensions and not two." Natsumi touched the part of her neck that once held something similar, wrenching her hand away and concentrating back on her apprentice a moment later. "The tricky thing about it is that everything in nature has chakra already in it. That's why we use charcoal for ink, because it's burned out any of the natural energy it once held, and paper, which is treated with special cleaners and pulped until it's clean of any residual energy. So it's easier. Because we're not trying to work something into a surface that already has energy in it, which might affect the resulting seal. Doing seals that way requires either a natural sense of what energy is already in surfaces, or a good head for facts to know well beforehand how much is too much chakra. And knowing which seal you attempt very well, because if you mess the seal up it just implodes anyway."

Jiraiya and Minato respectively, really. The Toad Sage had the sense, her kouhai had the memory. Or Minato just might have both, given what sensei thought about his natural sensor skills.

Damn lucky blonds.

"The thing you need to remember, if you try, is that overloading whatever surface you try on with too much chakra is ridiculously easy. And if it all explodes on you, it will be worse that the ink jars exploding."

Komushi blinked, turning pale at the thought.

"It's like the tree walking I showed you. You press too much chakra to the bark, it will explode on you and make you fall." Natsumi bit her lip, thinking of something her student could try that wouldn't end up sending him to the hospital. "I would say try a barrier seal for it, but I know you and Kushina-hime haven't gotten there yet in your lessons. Explosives aren't really the thing to try, because exploding a rock in your face won't be much of a good thing."

She had never tried herself, because her seals didn't work well in odds. She liked balance, so her seals were balanced with even sigils. Having only one sigil to burn into something was a lot easier than having to burn two at the same time, and she greatly preferred even seal prongs to odds.

On the other hand… Jiraiya could do a five point containment seal with only his hands.

Hell… Orochimaru had done three pronged fūinjutsu seal with his freaking _teeth_ … or she hoped it was his teeth that gave her that cursed seal.

 _Eww_ … she might have gotten some serpent tongue from Orochimaru… did that mean the cursed seal was a snake hicky?

It was perfectly possible to learn, it would either take a great head for facts or ingraining a seal or two into memory well enough not to explode something into one's face.

Maybe she should try with her student?

Well… given how bad her control had gotten, maybe now wasn't the greatest idea.

"Talk to Minato about it, he should have some experience you can use for learning how to do it."

"Hai, shishou."

\V/

Kakashi cheered when Natsumi finally managed to hit her old taicho in the side with her kendo stick.

She got whacked in the left arm again, but she finally got back to the point where she was doing more than dodging in a spar.

"You still have a weakness in your left side, neko-chan."

The assassin shook out her left hand with a wry smirk. "Criticize all you want, taicho. I still got you too."

Sakumo huffed at her, swiping out with his own bamboo-mockup of a katana. Natsumi managed to dance away from the hit, snickering the whole time.

"I'm actually more surprised it's not my right, honestly." She tapped her tabi clad toes on the floor mats, checking the set of her bones in her foot. "I'd thought that would be the worst of it all."

"You managed to continue to fight on a broken foot, Natsumi-chan. Your right was never the problem." The silver haired head of the Hatake clan managed to mess up her hightail before she pulled away. "It was always your left that was weaker than your right. When they ripped the cursed seal off you and your foot healed up, you ended up with more of a lag on that side than the other."

She was still having problems with that blind spot on her left, too. Natsumi might be getting back to where she was after months of a hospital stay, but her left would never get back all the way to where it had been.

Now the question was; did she overpower her right and mainly use that side, or try and keep both sides even-ish?

There wasn't a right answer. She might become better overall by simply dropping left-handed kenjutsu from her skills, but she had more versatility if she kept it.

Natsumi would prefer to keep it mostly even, but she knew her taicho would prefer her to keep with what worked and develop that.

Meh… issues. She had a lot of them.

She helped Kakashi and Sakumo clean up the dojo while she thought, and eventually ended up in the kitchen with the rest of the Hatake family for lunch.

Genin rest days were awesome. Not only did Natsumi not have to deal with three genin brats bickering, but she got help with her kenjutsu too.

Eri just hugged her and set her to work helping with lunch, so Natsumi stuck around for the meal.

"So… I have some news." The civilian lady started before they dug in, smirking a bit as her husband warily watched her. "I'm pregnant."

The assassin blinked, then threw up her hands with a whoop. "New sibling! Awesome!"

"I still get your sword!"

"Of course you do, Kashi-chan. I said you could have it."

Sakumo looked a bit blindsided, in all honestly. "What? Really?"

"Well, I figured that since our kids are about ten years apart… it might be about time." Eri smirked wickedly at the reminder of how she ended up technically being Natsumi's mother. "Tsunade-sama just confirmed it for me this morning."

Her old ANBU captain quailed a little in the face of his wife. "Yes dear."

The grin on his face told the rest of them he was proud at the news too.

"So is it a baby brother or a baby sister?" Kakashi asked of his mother.

"We don't know yet, Kakashi-kun. It might be a few months until we know for sure."

"Either way, that means you get to protect baby Hatake." Natsumi did some smirking of her own in the face of her pseudo-little brother. "And just think, if it's a girl and she decides to be a dainty little civilian lady…"

"I'll kill them all." Sakumo's chopsticks broke in his fist, his eye twitching at the mere thought.

Kakashi just looked disgusted at the idea. "Can I at least teach her to defend herself?"

The assassin snickered and let Eri smack her upside the head. Yeah… she probably wasn't helping.

"It might be a baby brother, Kakashi-kun." The civilian woman told her first born sternly. "Either way, you're getting a sibling."

The silver haired shinobi trainee thought about that. "I'd like a brother, please."

Natsumi almost choked on her laughter, and from the sound of it Sakumo wasn't much better off. Kakashi had trouble keeping the smirk off his face.

Eri just rolled her eyes at them all. "I know you know how it all works, Kakashi-kun, and that I can't guarantee either option. Now eat your lunch."

\V/

"A… house."

Minato looked a bit worried. "Do you think it might be too soon?"

Natsumi was kinda wondering why the hell her kouhai was so back-ass-wards. Maybe he was dropped on his head as a baby? "Erm… no. Not really. Just… you're not going to propose anytime soon, but you want the hime to live with you in your house… When did you get a house?"

"I don't have a house yet." Minato rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I was kind of hoping you'd help me find one."

She sighed, then checked on her genin team. They were supposed to be helping one of Konoha's farms, of the few that held land within the Hidden Village's walls, and not trying to eavesdrop on the conversation their sensei was having with another jōnin.

Koichi scuttled back to picking weeds out of the ground, trying to look like he hadn't been listening in.

Woo… tilling and weeding fields… joy.

Well… she had to admit that was a creative use for a hoe…

"Ibiki-kun! You kill Gai-kun and _you_ can do his damn work!"

Her surliest little brat glared at her, but dropped the hoe's head down and got back to work tilling the soil. Gai scrambled back to picking rocks out of the ground, on the other side of the field from infiltrator.

Natsumi turned back to her slightly alarmed looking kouhai. "They do that often, don't worry. As for your house situation… are you sure you want to do that? It takes a chunk of money to keep a house, apartments are much easier on a budget."

"With the both of us living there, it would be easier than you'd think. And I know you'll help out, sempai."

"I feel so used… okay." The assassin tugged on her hightail, frowning off in the distance but mostly keeping an eye on her little brats. "So, house. Any preference to where you want a house?"

"Somewhere near a merchant's square, but not too far out of the way."

"Clan district?"

"Rather not."

Natsumi thought about that, and what she knew of properties for sale in the village. There were occasionally clan members that wanted to move in or out of the clan compound, so those things were already watched by every clan that had more than fifty members to it.

Hell… Komushi's apartment was in a building jointly owned by the Nara, Akimichi, and Yamanaka clans. The building wasn't full, and really only half of that were clan shinobi, but in a ninja owned building being a paranoid neighbor and the odd explosion were accepted more than in another apartment building owned by a civilian. That, and it was less uncommon to have to tell tenants or your neighbor to stop dripping blood all over the place and go get patched up already.

Civilians tended to frown on that… all of it, really.

Non-clan neighborhood, near a merchant's square?

She thought of Ito and his tiny little home on the outskirts of the Hokage's Monument, and figured that might be the place to start looking.

"I might have an idea… but are you sure you don't want to look at rings first?"

She wasn't snickering over how fast the blood drained from his face, really.

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi slipped into the house, half-listening as Mouse guided the kids through chakra control lessons in the front yard.

Ito glanced at her, but didn't move from the window.

"Hey, how are you holding up?"

The ex-bodyguard simply shrugged at first, but stumped over to his couch after a moment. "Not great. I think the idea of not being shinobi is starting to set in. Congrats on getting back to active duty, taicho."

The assassin bit her lip and followed her old squad member to the living room. "Thanks… but that's not what I came by for."

"What's up?"

"How do you feel about some more neighbors? My kouhai wants to buy a house, and there's the one across from you and down the street a little that might be up for sale soon."

Ito actually grinned at her for that. "Walling me in with support now, taicho? We've already gotten your seals plastered all over the place."

Natsumi snorted softly. If she had it her way, she'd create an even more temperamental seal for the house Tenzou and Naomi were living in.

It was the fact that the seal Kushina pried out of her Leopards with Sakumo's help had already been tested once kept her from doing it. She knew it worked, and knew exactly who were allowed to mess around within them, and that peace of mind was priceless.

Fuck all if Natsumi would let anything harm the kids. She might have fumbled her initial response to them, but she wouldn't now that she had them.

It was a little hard to do, especially since they looked forward to her visits and were usually so excited to see her.

She _was_ partially responsible for how they ended up, by not doing anything about Orochimaru until so late.

Neither child needed their so-called hero second guessing herself when with them, so Natsumi swallowed her unease and let them do what they wanted.

Speaking of, she pinned the man sitting across from her with a gimlet stare. "Are you sure you want to bring Shia into this? I know she's your girlfriend, but this crap is kind of depressing."

Natsumi had introduced the two, almost three years ago now. When Boar had taken a turn at manning the mission desk in the Hokage's Tower, and just about drooled over the Nara medic when they were in to turn in the boarder inspection reports. The assassin had thought the whole thing had been entertaining as hell, but got the then ANBU agent an introduction to her kunoichi friend.

"Tell me about it." He grunted, scowling at his missing leg. "But… I don't think Shia will do anything to harm the kids, taicho. And Mouse needs to get back to ANBU. If I need to, I'm pretty sure Horse… Ryoko, will help out when she's gone."

Ito seriously needed something else to do other than stump around the house and look after two children, and his girlfriend would help with that. The assassin could respect that.

\V/

Out of everything the Orochimaru betrayal left behind, the notes and experiment reports were probably one of the worse parts.

To Fugaku, anyways, Natsumi thought Tenzou and Naomi were the real kickers of that mess.

The Uchiha clan head had been shocked at first, after the Snake Traitor had attempted to use her as a shield and ended up killing her. Then became pretty pissed off, that the man he had respected so much had basically turned against the village they both served. After that, Mikoto told Natsumi and Inoichi that her husband was getting rather depressed.

That had been just before their section of the jōnin deployments had gone off, and both the reincarnated soldier and the blond mind walker were pretty sure the Uchiha Chief of Police would be okay if he at least got to rationalization. They told the man's wife that, and what to watch for so it didn't turn to delusions before the acceptance stage of grief. Mikoto had planned on shifting back a deployment, for Itachi, but got her mother-in-law to watch the toddler heir of the Uchiha clan while she helped her husband deal with the betrayal.

Orochimaru _had_ put in a lot of effort exploring chakra natures, kekkai genkai genes, and the human body. Why, not a lot of people knew. Natsumi did, and was just thankful that mess happened before the traitorous sannin could swap bodies at will or figured out how to corrupt a shinobi's chakra system through his cursed seal.

Most of that information was now property of R&D, unless the clan in question wanted it destroyed or given over to them.

Natsumi was kind of ambiguous about her own section of those reports. Shikaku had demanded them for her anyways, as her clan head and husband, and got the medical records for Naomi in the bargain. She… just really wanted to dump the mess on Fugaku when he got home. Other than Naomi's medical reports, that is. Those had gone straight to Tsunade to help the little girl.

Her kinjutsu, the Yin Release based method of fucking over heads in battle, had been pulled apart and examined in detail in the report on her. She hadn't told anyone, beyond the few remarks of Yin Release was easy for her, that her kinjutsu was probably a feature of her reincarnation and not just her chakra taint. Orochimaru hadn't known about that, had just known of her spiritual excess, so he studied it as something that was physically effected to appear in her chakra nature.

Natsumi just wanted to hug Jiraiya, for not telling his teammate about her past death.

That had been why Naomi's medical experimentation had been based off the Uzumaki clan, and why the little girl was opposite to Natsumi herself and not a mini copy of the assassin. The traitor had been trying to see what affected chakra nature to the extent of affecting the natural color, like the Hatake's white chakra or Natsumi's original lavender.

Orochimaru had deemed the little girl a failed experiment, and left her to die on her own.

Tenzou… hadn't liked that idea. He had been the one to try and keep Naomi alive, using his own food rations and energy to try and keep her that way. The Mokuton user had no clue if they would ever be rescued, but he hadn't wanted to be left alone.

When Panther and her squad ran across a suspicious trapdoor in the forest floor, and tripped straight into Orochimaru when they poked around, Tenzou had listened to Boar just because he thought the masked man might help Naomi. He got to witness Panther play a very dangerous game of tag with the man that had tortured him and so coldly decided if the girl lived or died.

When the golden-eyed, blonde kunoichi head of the Senju clan had healed the girl back to the point she could wake up and stay awake, Tenzou told Naomi everything that had gone on and why they were no longer where she fell asleep. That they had names now, she was named for the kunoichi that led the squad that rescued them. His childish, blow-by-blow account of how 'neko-taicho' had taken on the Snake Summoner and kept him from killing them all earned Natsumi two little fans.

The assassin still felt like a colossal bitch every time they lit up with joy when she visited them.

Repeated reminders that she had them now, and that Orochimaru was probably burning in hell for what he did to them, were making a bit of a dent in her automatic desire to cringe every time they wanted to show off what they learned or how well they were doing to her.

Because they wanted to impress the kunoichi that saved them, by showing her they were worth it to save.

It would probably take years to stop that automatic cringe from trying to happen, but her ninja endurance to keep a straight face should last that long.

\V/

Natsumi had bit the bullet, shoved Gai onto Mebuki and sent Koichi to run laps around the clearing, while she worked on Ibiki's hand-to-hand combat.

While showing the kid how to break a hold on his arm, the assassin decided it was probably time to talk to her genin about his home life.

"So… when were you going to tell me you and your family was almost evicted?"

Ibiki overcorrected and fell face-first on the ground. Spluttering, the kid scrambled upright and whirled around to glare at her. "That's none of your business!"

"Actually… as your jōnin-sensei, it is." Figuring that continuing the lesson wouldn't be a great idea, Natsumi sat down and simply watched her genin. "I'm responsible for you, and your family by extent. If something at home is bothering you, you won't do as well in training and on missions as you should. Therefore, I should know about those kinds of things before I go and visit your kaa-san and learn that way."

She blinked at her now hunched over brat. Aw, hell… were those tears?

"Ibiki-kun, you're a genin. As wonderful and lucrative as jōnin-track is later on, at the moment all we're getting is pocket money for D-rank missions. I don't think anyone has ever supported a family of three on a jōnin-track genin pay before. Hell… there are those that can't do it on Genin Corps pay, and they _pay better_ than we do for the same work. And that's really the only other option you have at the moment."

"I can do it, sensei! I've been doing it!"

"Ibiki-kun, your kaa-san was _skipping meals_ just to make your ryo stretch enough to cover rent."

Her little infiltrator slumped, sitting heavily on the ground. "But… I can't…"

"You can't. I can. Let me tell you of the wonderful world of shinobi vouchers."

"Sensei?"

"It's basically a loan from the village's treasury, to cover home expenses until you can take on enough mission work to support your family. You'll have to pay it back, but only once you get to your next promotion or you can take on enough missions to pay it back that way."

Ibiki sniffed, turning that over in his head. "Can I do that?"

"Not really. Genin isn't well-paying, and chūnin will just be only slightly easier for your money to stretch enough. You taking a voucher out on yourself or your next mission will only delay the problem until later." Natsumi's lips twitched at his mulish expression. "But like I said, I can. I took out a voucher on my next A-rank and gave it to your kaa-san."

He looked horrified, and it really took all she had not to laugh at him.

"Ibiki-kun, I'm jōnin. I can take that hit better than you can. Even better, I'm a clan kunoichi. I don't really need the money left over after my clan's tax is taken out."

"But-! Groceries are expensive! And I know even if you live in the clan compounds, you have to contribute someway!"

That really shouldn't be something an eleven-year-old boy had to deal with. But it was neither Ibiki's nor his mother's fault, just crappy circumstances that forced her genin into being the only one bringing in a stable but small salary with an out-of-work seamstress mother and baby brother relying on him. She could fix that, so she had. He also deserved an explanation before he went home and learned that way. It wasn't a fun way to find things out.

"And my husband and I have a household account set up for when we need something. We both pay into it, and he agreed that you needed my jōnin pay more than we do. Besides, I have more than one source of income." Her genin still looked on the verge of a panic attack, so Natsumi sighed and continued. "Ibiki-kun, all I use the money for is to buy wood. I like to carve, so I pay for my hobby with what I don't end up using for living expenses. With two jōnin in my household, it's much easier to cover for any urgent need outside of our own clan."

She was pretty sure he did some mental flailing about, but controlled himself somewhat and didn't show much more than a defeated expression to her.

"Can I do that at chūnin rank?"

"I kept three of us alive for two years, all with only a steady chūnin's pay between all three us. It's possible without resorting to vouchers. But I relied heavily on the other shinobi and civilians I knew, to keep us all fed and healthy. It will be hard, and you'll have to find others to help out in the bad parts, but is perfectly doable even if you need to take one on yourself until you get to tokubetsu jōnin rank."

That, and the voucher thing had only started being available recently. To cover for this kind of thing before it started happening, now that there were more shinobi for Konoha to look after dependents for. But if Ibiki's father had been alive, he would've been the one to vouch his future work and not the genin ranked eldest son's sensei.

Ibiki now saw a light at the end of his personal troubles, and the sheer amount of stress that fell off his shoulders was heart wrenching.

Natsumi wondered if she should tell him about her ANBU work. Her genin team hadn't spotted the tattoo yet, and hadn't asked if they had, but the fact that collected pay had helped her out in her chūnin years was kind of like her helping Ibiki now. Him finding out later might do some damage to any future acceptance of this help, so now was probably the best time.

"Now, your situation and mine differ a little. When I was a chūnin, I had already had some of my ANBU pay saved up a little to help." Her silly little infiltrator looked determined now, and she rolled her mismatched ghost eyes at him. ANBU wasn't something she wanted her brats tripping into without a whole lot of prior thought. "But that was also in a period of time when Konoha wasn't getting a whole lot of mission work to help support it. You'll probably get more missions than we did, and won't have to support three separate shinobi on only one full income. We also had a very expensive ninja art to study at the same time, so it might turn out to be easier on you."

"Kenjutsu?"

"Fūinjutsu. The sheer amount of paper we went through nearly made the forests cry."

Ibiki snorted a laugh, slumping on the ground and rubbing his face. "If it's expensive, it has to be lucrative."

Natsumi thought about that. It was very likely the Ibiki she knew from another life had studied some fūinjutsu, given his prison summon jutsu. However it _was_ expensive to learn, and probably something he could only do once his finance trouble was more manageable.

Then she thought of his civilian, poor, _thin_ mother and the very grim confession that she had been skipping meals just to keep her kids fed.

Huh… _ouch_.

No wonder the brat liked to pick on Koichi for his better-quality equipment. Ibiki was frugal because he had to be just to survive.

"If you would like to learn… I would suggest an apprenticeship. It would let your master shoulder the cost until you can use it and start making your own way. With one of us… probably the hime, really. I have a student… but she might not want one herself… hmm."

It would be easier to throw her brat at Minato… but Natsumi was pretty sure he started with Kakashi, and had no intent on breaking Team Seven's unknowing tradition of being either the Hokage's teammates or genin team. Additionally, Kushina might be avoiding the possibility of getting her mastery just to throw off anyone watching her… to make them think she wasn't such a good Uzumaki even if she was one of the last living members of that clan.

Another apprentice…

Komushi would be thrilled. He'd get to be someone's sempai.

She could even put her black ops pay to some use. Since that really hadn't been touched since she needed it to pay the Sand-nin's full-year rent a few months ago.

Natsumi pinned Ibiki with a stern look. "I can teach you, and still cover the costs of both the voucher and your study. But… fūinjutsu is not easy to learn. It's pretty dangerous, really. And you start on calligraphy, so you'll be mostly working under my other student until he thinks your handwriting is good enough. Are you _sure_ you want to do that, Ibiki-kun?"

It was another way though, something he would get paid for more just because he knew it. She wasn't at all surprised when he nodded firmly.

"Then that's what we'll do. Now," the assassin jerked a thumb behind her, "go beat up Koichi-kun, because his little snooping habit is going to get him killed one day."

Natsumi just watched the impromptu spar start up, reminding herself to checkup on Gai's grandfather sometime soon.

If Ibiki was hiding that from her, who knew what her other little genin was trying to hide.

(ooo000ooo)

Komushi blinked at Ibiki.

Then he looked up at his shishou, and then back down to her genin student.

Natsumi was just about ready to toss something at his head just to get his attention back on the here and now. "Komushi… are you listening to me?"

"Hai, shishou." The chūnin scrambled around to face himself in their direction. "So… I'll be teaching?"

"Ibiki-kun calligraphy. You'll be teaching him what I taught you in the beginning. It'll give you practice at it before you actually have to teach someone." The assassin eyed her Suna student, ensuring he knew that was all he was supposed to be teaching. "Just watch him, and correct it when needed. He'll probably get to inks about when you're finishing up with your apprenticeship."

Komushi was nearly ready to start conversions himself, taking prior examples of other fūinjutsu users' work and adapting it to fit solely him. Exploring how to invent or develop his own seals for later. He had a working method set up for scripting himself, and had already started in on making a few seal keys of his own.

Her Sand-nin student preferred odd to even pronged seals, and Natsumi was starting to wonder if gender dictated that or not. She and Kushina were the only ones to prefer evens over odd so far.

Her darkly tanned chūnin apprentice pulled a fresh sheet of paper out of his pile of it and his less-than-perfect set of calligraphy brushes, then gave them to Ibiki. Then he pulled out some of his latest calligraphy practice for the genin to copy. Finally he set the kid up in a corner of his apartment where the light came through the window well enough to see fine lines.

The assassin watched for a moment longer, but Ibiki was more intent on his work than making trouble, so she shrugged and left them to it.

That was Koichi, who really didn't need much help to begin with, and Ibiki down. Now for Gai.

\V/

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"It's-!" Natsumi gripped her head and whined. "So not _fair_ …"

Gai preferred taijutsu. He was already pretty good at it for a genin that hadn't specialized in it, but when Mebuki remarked that his skill was really good for his age Gai took that and ran with it. All the way back to where his jōnin-sensei was peeling Koichi off the ground and lecturing him about how it wasn't nice to spy on his own teammates, even if it had been out of concern and not simply him prying.

Her little taijutsu user was now trying to creatively kill himself doing more physical fitness exercises than his body could probably withstand. Claiming he had to make up time for starting with genjutsu and deciding that wasn't for him before finding his new love of taijutsu.

Natsumi started second guessing herself on whether or not arranging things so her genin and the other kids resembled the story characters in her head was a good thing or not.

Was it better to just do it herself, or to let the kids learn their own way?

That was six weeks of trials she had given Gai, in almost every ninja art she could think of.

He ended up with taijutsu anyways…

On the other hand, Kakashi was pretty good with kenjutsu…

The hell was wrong with her? Should she do the sneaky thing or let them decide?

"Whatever, at least we have solid bases to build off now." The assassin sighed and leaned up against her husband, pouting. "I hate genin…"

"No you don't. Or you wouldn't bother helping your kids so much." Shikaku snuck an arm around her waist and gave her a squeeze. "Honestly, I'm happy one of your gakis decided to go for a combat specialization. I'll sleep easier at night now."

"Oh ha, ha, Shika." Natsumi rolled her eyes, recalling a similar conversation when she told him about picking up Boar the bodyguard nearly two years ago. "I'd give it about two or so more months before our first C-rank mission. We need to adjust our squad tactics to include a more direct fighter other than me."

"Isn't that a bit soon?"

"Yes and no. We're a scouting team, so we'll be starting with merchant caravan protection between the closer villages within Fire Country. A few more weeks after that, we'll get to the outer edges. Only after that will we get the borders patrol missions themselves."

Then some chūnin or tokubetsu jōnin would pick up her team while she got deployed again. At least Natsumi managed to get her kids set up in their specializations first, and was starting to work on their teamwork more than their individual skills. Next changeover would be the easiest, because then she could take the team out herself sometimes and watch them adapt to C-rank scouting missions. The one after would be her deploying again, when she wouldn't have much contact with her team until she came back.

Hopefully only to Earth, but it wasn't looking like Kumo was content to wait out Konoha and Suna ganging up on Iwa before attracting attention.

As a matter of fact, Cloud was getting bitchy about their ninja being hemmed into their little corner of the Elemental Countries.

They would not be fun to tangle with once it exploded, because Konoha had no way to hem them up for good using the terrain. The shinobi of the Leaf would have to resort to scout and recon teams just to ensure Kumo-nin weren't getting past the border into Fire proper and wreaking havoc.

"So… fuck. Eight more weeks of genin training… at the very least."

"Better you than me, Natsu."

"You're support is touching."

"Yes, I'm an ass. But you married me, so I'm your ass of a husband. I believe we went over that just recently."

Natsumi sorted, laying back across Shikaku's lap. "You… are no help, Shika. Commiserate with me about how horrible my gakis are, don't I deserve that?"

He glanced down distractedly from his paperwork strewed desk. "Honestly? …no."

"What?"

"You were the one to get injured, so the gaki problem that resulted is all your fault. Stop getting injured."

"Negative reinforcement?" The assassin asked incredulously, fighting down a wry smirk and her giggles. "I didn't know you cared so, hubby mine."

Shikaku hauled her up, so she was sitting in his lap and not lying across it. "Yes, I care. Surprise. You'd think you'd have noticed already in the nearly four years of our marriage."

She blinked as she thought about that. "Has it really been almost four years now? Damn."

Natsumi had just turned twenty in body again last month, and their fourth wedding anniversary was coming up in… two more months.

"Wow… you are awesome. A bit of an ass, and sometimes silly, but a good husband." She shifted again, straddling Shikaku's lap and smirking into his surprised face. "What do you want to do for our anniversary? We couldn't do a lot last year with you deployed and me injured, and for the year before you have to admit Kusa wasn't much of a vacation spot. But we'll be here for it this time."

"If you can keep Koichi-kun from trying to snoop, why not take a few days of vacation and just stay in?" He wrapped his arms around her waist, a smirk slowly stealing across his face. "We can try for a round two of our honeymoon."

"I'm pretty sure if I drop word to Biwako-sama about our anniversary, she'll keep her oldest gaki away for a couple days."

Or she could be vastly evil and not… but that wasn't something she wanted to scar Koichi with.

Shikaku was hers.

Even if it would probably get the kid to realize snooping might not result in learning more secrets… or in learning way too much of things he didn't want to know.

\V/

Katanas were costly.

Each one, no matter how simple, needed days of time to work on crafting for any half-decent blacksmith… or it would be nothing but a length of sharpened steel, not katana.

Not only did a smith have to refold the metal used over and over to create one, sometimes for days on end, but each katana had its own unique curvature and layered strength developed by that folding.

Depending on the smith, it might be a greatly curved sword or a slightly curved one. Each smith had their own method to do it in, and Sakumo had taken her to the same smith that made her old katana in the first place. It took a few months, and a whole lot of ryo, but…

She had a new katana. This one made out of a folded metal alloy she knew of as mostly steel, some of what looked to be cobalt, and a little of what she was sure was a form of powdered tungsten carbide.

Natsumi was a bit uneasy about it.

Not the new build and curve of her new katana, that was awesome.

The alloy composite that made her katana's blade appear dark gray on the unsharpened side, and slightly bluish tainted silver on the bladed edge, was known now as chakra absorbing metal. Since the long sword was made up out of that, she could use it to collect water on and extend her reach that much further with her redeveloping chakra control. Natsumi could do that with her old one with a lot of effort, but not nearly as well as she could with this one.

She might even be able to use that in the middle of a fight now.

Sakumo had dictated that to the master of a blacksmithing family his clan favored over others just to help her out, figuring that the blade's chakra affinity would help her that much more in getting back to her previous levels of control. Then the shinobi had taken the time to help the master smith out with his chakra and control. Ensuring the cobalt-like ore and tungsten carbide powder were melded into the sword right by generous use of his white lightning natured chakra.

The master smith, a middle-aged man by the name of Tatsuo, was pretty damn proud of the katana's blade. Both Sakumo and Natsumi were impressed with him and the finished metal alloy blade when they went to pick it up. She had promised the smith he could checkup on the sword about once or twice every year, because it was a masterwork of a katana he had made for her with her old taicho's help.

The curvature wasn't much different than her last sword, and she didn't need nearly as much retraining as she feared she'd need for a new katana's reach. She did need to get used to the new feature, and the color, but that was easier than retraining herself to know where and how her blade reached when swung.

The only bit she could want to quibble about was the weight, since the alloy was heavier than normal steel, and that wasn't even worth it to nitpick about.

All in all her new katana was awesome, if way more pricy than her old kenjutsu mastery gift. Sakumo and Natsumi had split the cost between them because the assassin had objected to the older looking shinobi paying for a new sword since she broke the other.

It just as favored as her gift for the help her old taicho put into its creation.

However… it was mostly steel. Cobalt and the tungsten were hellishly strong when mixed right, and that made up a portion of her sword's blade, but it was mostly a steel katana.

Therefore it was breakable. This one might be harder to shatter, but still.

She depended on her sword, her taijutsu wasn't nearly as good as most other B or A-ranked shinobi. Without her kinjutsu or Yin Release illusions, her genjutsu sucked as well. Ninjutsu was limited to water natured, because she didn't have the time or energy to put into learning another nature.

Well… she might have the time now, but that was limited to either doton or fūton by her chakra nature. They would be the easiest to pick up, the other elements would need more time to hone than she had.

Natsumi's greatest aces were her speed, kinjutsu, kenjutsu, and stealth, then whatever fūinjutsu she had on her at the time.

Her kinjutsu could now be countered, Orochimaru had discovered how and Natsumi had left the results with Uchiha Kagami for when Fugaku got home. Her sword could be broken again.

Which would leave her with only speed, stealth, and a few seals to add to her limited ninjutsu abilities.

Not something she wanted to gamble her kids' lives over.

What could she do about it?

She wouldn't take back the Sword of Kusanagi even without the memories she held of it, not now that she told Kakashi he could have it. Taicho's favorite short sword wasn't the right length for her, and even the White Light Chakra Saber was breakable.

She preferred a full length katana to a jian or tantō. The extra reach had made up for the disparity between her current physical form and the one she held in another life.

Within the village, only the Senju clan held another legendary or unique sword. The Sword of the Thunder God.

Even that sword had broken in time, too.

Natsumi tapped her fingers to her thigh, watching her kids work together to walk some Inuzuka kennel dogs.

She was tempted to use her fūinjutsu skills, to find something that would protect or edge her katana's blade. That begged the question of what.

Either way, she needed to look at the tang of her sword, the part of it that anchored the blade to the wooden hilt. Just to see how much space she had to work with.

That meant taking apart the hilt. Something she should do the next time she looked it over for any rust or imperfections in the edge.

…after she rescued her brats from the dogs.

Natsumi whistled like Tsume taught her to, and the canines immediately heeled to. The only reason she knew that little Inuzuka secret was because dogs didn't like the smell of cat, and the alpha of the clan had almost pissed herself laughing when the untrained kennel dogs had chased the Leopard Summoner up a tree once.

The assassin had threated to flat out avoid the Inuzuka compound if nothing would be done about that.

Tsume only taught her after a few more threats were made about killing the dogs by accident since Natsumi couldn't tell if they were playing or attacking.

Cats, dogs, eh. Sometimes that didn't mix well.

The canines her brats were supposed to be walking didn't like her getting close, and bristled under the command she had gave them. Natsumi kept her distance anyways. She never could tell what the dogs were thinking of.

"Take them home, gakis. And we'll call this one done."

Gai looked between the balking canines and the jōnin kunoichi standing farther away than normal. "Sensei?"

"I Summon a feline type of ninken, Gai-kun. Leopards. If you've never noticed, most dogs like to chase cats."

Ibiki lit up with sadistic glee. "So if we let them go…"

"They're still, aren't they?" Natsumi eyed the kennel dogs, not warily but just to keep watch on them. "And the Inuzuka kennel masters will kill you if I kill them. They're your responsibility right now."

Koichi blanched, grabbing the leashes the infiltrator was holding. "I don't want a failed D-rank on our mission records, guys. C-rank mission failure I can tolerate. Not D, we'd never live it down."

"I've never actually failed a D-rank before." She tapped her filed nails against her lips, smirking. "I wonder what the penalty is."

Ibiki looked mulish for a moment, but eventually followed the elder Sarutobi brother's example and started tugging the three canines he had been being dragged by back to the Inuzuka compound. Gai had snagged four big dogs, and was pretty much the one being walked instead of his charges.

Koichi had been the only one to know the Inuzuka raised dogs were more shinobi like than normal ones, in both deceptive strength and sneakiness, and had stuck to two.

He still ended up with dirt in his face before long.

Natsumi just followed along at a distance, wondering what D-rank she should pick up for them next.

They had done the easy, physical conditioning farm work for a few weeks, and some tracking training in picking up scattered and lost throwing weapons here and there.

This was a benchmark mission, in introducing them to the canine companions some shinobi comrades they knew relied on. It also helped stamina and strength, because the Inuzuka dogs were stronger than normal ones and walking them took about all day to do. The team would pick it up a few more times until the lesson stuck, about when they realized taking only one dog was the best way to do it.

Might be slower at first, but they'll eat less dirt that way.

…or until Gai learns how to use his strength against the dogs' own, mostly by his leverage with the leashes. Natsumi was foreseeing a whole lot of dirt eating in the near future.

Hmm… given the disparity between the qualities of their weaponry, maybe some blacksmithing requests for extra workers?

The extra lessons in caring for steel and sharp blades were always worthy things to go over repeatedly.

Maybe, since she was already started on introducing the varied ninken of Konohagakure to her brats, maybe some Aburame clan maintenance work?

That one was worth a laugh or two, when bugs flew at them from what they were working on. Again, awareness training and appreciation for fellow Leaf ninja animal companions were good things to get across to her genin.

Natsumi watched the dogs pretty much walk their so-called walkers back to the kennels. Good thing new shinobi were started on the trained dogs, the untrained ones might have done them some damage.

Maybe cleaning the banks of the Naka River next. Chakra control, patience, and the benefits of steady work all rolled into one annoyingly long D-rank mission.

Joy.

\V/

Natsumi snorted, hiding a grin behind her hand. "Wow… how far did Genma-kun get with that?"

"Not very." Hizashi just looked resigned to his genin's antics, long fingers wrapped around his teacup. "Both the client and I spotted the displaced paint at the same time."

Since Shikaku was out already with an A-ranked mission, the assassin had been left at loose ends for what to do that night. Their anniversary was next week, and given Natsumi's new day job she didn't have to run a mission to get some vacation time. With her husband out ensuring he could take the time off, Natsumi grabbed her fellow jōnin-sensei for what was basically a bitch session over afternoon tea.

It was getting rather rare for their little group to have enough time to get together, usually word of how the others were doing had to be passed along by word of mouth. Even one of Natsumi's tea parties hadn't been held in a whole year, but that had been more because of her injury than lack of enough free time until just recently.

While she thought her brats might be annoying, she was sure Hizashi thought it was funny just like how she was amused over his brats' misbehaving.

"Gai-kun decided four Inuzuka dogs weren't enough for him, and switched to six. He left a furrow in the road trying to get them to stop."

The slightly younger of the two Hyūga twins looked amused for half a second, but switched to pained right after. "There's going to be a new D-rank to fill in that rut."

"Yep. You want it or should I?"

"Please, take it."

"But Hizashi, you've got a combat support team." Natsumi smirked at him wickedly. "Shouldn't your boys learn their actions have consequences to the terrain?"

"I would not wish to deprive your own genin team from the same lesson." Hizashi countered easily, but still too stiffly for it to be entirely honest. "As it was their own mistake that caused it."

She snorted again, but gave her fellow jōnin a grin and a shrug.

The rule of thumb for genin teams was if they broke it, they had to fix it. Natsumi was just teasing her fellow jōnin-sensei over their rather dull job of watching the brats go about fixing it.

Jōnin-sensei weren't allowed to help on D-ranks unless there was risk to the genin they were watching, the mission was over, or the sensei was trying to impart a specific lesson. Leaving some very boring blocks of time for them to just watch inane missions go on.

"We are being watched."

"Is it Koichi-kun again? I swear, his little habit is going to piss someone off soon."

"All six, I believe. If the other three are indeed yours," he blinked at her, frowning faintly, "and do please refrain from swearing in front of my students."

Natsumi raised an eyebrow and felt for the chakra signatures around her. She didn't know Genma or Raido too well, but she knew Nawaki.

He was watching the two jōnin with her own brats around the corner.

Lovely.

She channeled some chakra to her ears, just to see if she could pick up the topic of discussion between her genin team and Hizashi's. As Natsumi was pretty sure the Hyūga wouldn't tell her without her asking.

Once she made out what they were spying for, her lips twitched. "Well… do you want to be gossiped about having an affair with the Nara clan head's Lady, or planning for your eventual wedding?"

"Planning, Natsumi." He rubbed at his temple, trying not to grimace. "And I was fourteen."

"If you do something stupid, I'm not going to take it easy on you." She sniffed while putting her teacup down. "I don't know why you all think young age will protect you from that. You were still staring at my ass."

Hizashi followed suite and set his own cup down, a faint frown still on his face. "I was not the only one to do so. I believe the only one not to stare after you and the other kunoichi was Minato, but that was only because he only had eyes for Kushina even that far back."

"You know, considering that he's like my otouto, the thought that he might have is just… eww." Natsumi sighed as she felt her brats getting closer. "When are you and Misaki getting hitched, anyways? The Uchiha couple out of our group already has, you two have almost been betrothed as long as they were now."

"Twenty-four is the age specified in our betrothal contract."

"Age? Huh… I thought most shinobi clans just did rank."

Hizashi inclined his head in agreement. "They do now. However, betrothal within the Hyūga clan is set to age. Setting to rank only came to be after there were ranks to judge maturity by."

"Because jōnin are _oh so_ mature, right?" Natsumi's lips curled in a smirk at his blank face. "Considering I hit that when I was sixteen, we might have to look at that again."

His deadpan expression she was proud of, he didn't do that all too often anymore.

"Sensei?"

The unlucky loser of the quick game of janken, something Natsumi remembered as rock-paper-scissors from another life, was Gai.

She turned around to look at her almost eternally energetic genin. "Yes, Gai-kun? Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

Her poor genin looked very uncomfortable, shuffling around in place as he looked between the two jōnin. "Aa… well, no sensei. I was just wondering…"

"You mean the five others behind the corner, right? I don't think you'd really care who I have tea with, Gai-kun."

Her taijutsu user looked so relieved it was funny, but the other genin spilled out from behind the corner where they had been spying and approached their respective jōnin-sensei.

Natsumi just blinked at the senbon that was protruding out of Genma's mouth. "That's bad for your teeth, kid."

"Saa, I'll live." He looked her up and down, then turned to the Hyūga jōnin with a smirk. "Not bad, sensei. Who's the chick?"

"The 'chick' is the wife of the Nara clan head." She answered for herself, smiling evilly into the mini-bodyguard's face.

Hizashi just sighed, especially when Ibiki and Nawaki managed to 'accidently' smack a pale Genma in the head at the same time. "Students, this is Nara Natsumi. Jōnin kunoichi stealth specialist and kenjutsu master."

"I know." The Senju Grandson grinned up at the assassin. "Hi, Natsumi-nee-chan."

Natsumi waved a few fingers, then faced her own students and jerked her head to indicate the jōnin across from her. "This is Hyūga Hizashi. Twin brother of the Hyūga clan head and a tracker specializing jōnin."

Koichi just eyed him warily, then peered at her suspiciously.

"Now, unless you want to help us plan a wedding, either ask or get lost."

Raido blanched and grabbed Genma, helping Nawaki get Hizashi's more reckless genin out of the teahouse. Her own brats were more immune to her threats.

"So, what were you really doing?"

The assassin rolled her eyes. "Swapping tales of how naughty you all are, Ibiki-kun."

"I heard about the dogs, and the rut you left in the road." Hizashi supplied helpfully.

Gai flushed, cringing behind Koichi.

"And I've got a story of how Genma-kun painted the wrong thing in his own D-rank."

Ibiki raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

"But if you all are going to stick around, we'll just talk about your mistakes and leave Hizashi's genin for another time."

Her mini-scout pouted, but grabbed his teammates and dragged them off.

"The joys of being jōnin-sensei."

"It will get better." Hizashi sounded like he was almost asking her. "It has to get better."

"Not for another month or two."

He eyed her. "I blame you for getting me into this."

"That's fair, Shikaku blames me for getting into it too."

\V/

Minato looked around at the empty room. "So…"

"House. You didn't really give me much to work with, but ta da." Natsumi waved a hand around to encompass the two story building, tucked into the shadow of the Hokage's Monument. "Three bedrooms, two floors, a medium sized kitchen, living room slash dining room, a study, four hallway closets, one and a half bathrooms, attic space, and a fenced boundary line with a backyard porch."

Which was also near both the Nara clan compound and Ito's home, a half hour walk to the Hokage's Tower, and near a medical clinic just in case. As well as the requested merchant's open market square about three blocks away. The assassin was pretty damn proud of herself for finding this little home up for sale.

The jōnin thought for a moment. "How can there be one and a half bathrooms?"

"Because of one bathroom's lack of bathing space." She thought about how to explain it, then recalled the tiny apartments they both had lived in once. "You remember the genin apartments? That kind of bathroom, just with more elbow space and no drain in one corner. It's over there, go look."

"Hmm…" He hesitated, still just looking around.

"You… have no freaking idea what you're doing, do you?"

Flushing lightly, Minato rubbed the back of his head. "I… have never looked for a house before?"

Natsumi sighed heavily. Something else to ensure her brats knew before letting them go. "Okay, just take a seat and I'll run you though it."

Looking around at the bare room, the jōnin shrugged to himself and sat on the floor.

The assassin sat across from him and started ticking things off on both hands. "Right. There's you. You've got maybe a bedroom of stuff, enough to fill the study, two closets, and half a kitchen in your apartment. There's the hime. She's got her own bedroom, enough to probably fill the other bedroom, two closets, and half a kitchen in her own apartment. If or when she moves in, there will be two bedrooms of stuff for sure. Everything in the little living room and second bedroom of your apartments that may or may not survive any move you two make. Closets might really not make it, because you won't need two of every cleaning supply you two need. And all the kitchen stuff, but I'm sure the hime has more of that than you."

Minato mentally tallied that up, then looked around and checked that with what she already told him. "So this is?"

"A bit larger than you need, for sure. But… it will let the both of you coexist and spread out a bit. Instead of tripping over each other's things like you do now."

"And two extra bedrooms?"

"I… want you to do me and taicho a favor." Natsumi tugged her hightail, uneasily watching her old kouhai. "Kakashi-kun's graduating this year… but he's not even ten yet."

She got a sharp look for that.

The assassin just shrugged. "You're going to have to do it sometime, Minato. Take Kakashi-kun now, get your mastery in seals, and I'll stick you with two of the more stable genin the year after. You could probably throw them into the chūnin exams the year after that, Kakashi-kun's good enough to do it. Just… please?"

"Why didn't you do it yourself?"

Natsumi bit her lower lip. "His otou-sama is my kenjutsu master. We're too close, and that would've gotten some accusation of favoritism. But I don't want to trust him to someone I don't know that well, and he is younger than I'd like for shinobi life."

Minato thought about that, studying her intently. She had to suppress the desire to cringe.

Yes, she had other motives. Kakashi _deserved_ his team.

"Alright."

"Really?"

"You don't ask much of me, sempai. But you do help me when I ask." The jōnin fūinjutsu user shrugged lightly, taking another look around the bare bones of the traditional house they were sitting in. "And since it is so important to you, I'll do it."

Natsumi couldn't suppress the grin. "Oh please, you'll be helping yourself."

"And while that may be true, I am perfectly happy to leave you to arrange it all so I do come out better off."

"I feel so used."

"Did we? …and do we still?"

The serious questions threw the assassin off slightly, and she turned to look the blond in the eye. "Honestly? Probably, but I put myself in that position. You and the others never did ask anything I didn't want to do out of me. So don't worry about it."

Minato eyed her, checking to see if she was being dead serious. "Alright then."

"So?"

"What?"

Natsumi huffed in exasperation. "The house, Minato. Do you like it?"

He looked around again… at the empty living room that had nothing but bare floorboards and white walls around three doorways and four large windows. "Uh… sure?"

She blinked at him, then at what he was looking at. Then she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Minato… you're an idiot. Get up and explore a little. You're going to have to live with it, so make sure you like how it's laid out before you buy it."

He flushed lightly but scrambled upright. "How do I know if I like it or not?"

Natsumi stared at him for a long moment. "You know what? Scratch that, go get the hime and figure out if she likes it. If she does, come tell me and I'll talk to the realtor for you."

"I… uh, haven't yet asked…"

"Oh kami." She buried her face in her hands, trying not to laugh at him. "Minato… really?"

Her kouhai scratched his cheek a little. "Is that bad of me?"

"She might get a bit upset if you try to control her movements without giving a reason for it. Go ask. Now."

Minato hesitated, looking around one last time. "Thanks for this, all of it."

"Just… if you fuck up a good thing with the hime, I'll beat the snot out of you."

He laughed. "I'd probably kick myself, sempai. No worries."

Natsumi snorted at the quick flicker of yellow that was him using his hiraishin seal to move across distances easily.

Now alone, she kicked out her legs and snickered as she lay in the recently emptied house.

Minato really could be an idiot sometimes.

\V/

The switchover occurred about when Natsumi and Hizashi both were seriously contemplating taking on a C-rank mission just to break the cycle of never ending D-ranks.

The assassin snagged her team's first caravan guard mission, told them where and when to meet her for packing lessons, and bolted to the Uchiha compound.

Fugaku and Mikoto were home, that meant she could check on her Uchiha friends.

She got to the Uchiha clan head's home about the same time as the clan elder Kagami did.

The older Uchiha had once been a teammate of Danzō, under honorable Tobirama-sama. He was also the elderly father of young Shisui, who was only now making a name for himself as a speed freak in the Uchiha training grounds.

He was a fast little five-year-old kid, now that he had discovered his chakra and shunshin.

They were probably Natsumi's favorite Uchiha clansmen.

She recalled Shisui of the Body Flicker, and the fact Kagami was dedicated to the protection and survival of the Leaf was pretty much common knowledge.

There were also quietly whispered rumors that Uchiha Kagami was the one to orchestrate the revolt against Madara when the former leader of the Uchiha clan tried to overthrow the First Hokage.

Natsumi wasn't sure if she believed that, but the older shinobi was pretty awesome for an Uchiha.

Which had been why she left Orochimaru's study on her kinjutsu with him.

Fugaku's face as he listened to the both of them on why they were there was pretty interesting.

The assassin got to reacquaint herself with the one-and-a-half-year-old Itachi while he thought.

"I do not wish to know what the traitor recorded in his notes, Natsumi. Though I thank you for supplying it to the Uchiha clan anyways."

She shrugged easily. "Honestly, I haven't read it all the way through. If you don't want it either, why not let Kagami-sama hold onto it?"

The clan head and clan elder both gave her a questioning look.

"We know it can be done without Jiraiya-sensei's cheat now, so it's really only a matter of time. If I don't care and if you don't care, why not?"

Natsumi was half bent over so the toddler could grasp her hair without pulling it, so she had some limited sight of what was going on between the Uchiha shinobi.

Mikoto just gave her a tired and appreciative smile. "Thank you, Natsumi. Would you like some tea?"

"I've got some gakis to teach to pack for longer missions, so I should pass for now. I just wanted to be here when Kagami-sama told you what he had."

"Has anyone read it through?" Fugaku asked, the researcher in him poking through the restraints he probably slapped over that when his mentor in scientific learnings had proven less that respectable.

"Hiruzen-sama, some of the R&D staff, and Shikaku. I think." Natsumi carefully extracted her hightail from Itachi's pudgy grip, smirking slightly at his pout. "He got to it before I did. I… really didn't want to know, but I skimmed it anyways."

The Uchiha Chief of Police eyed the sheaf of bound paper in Kagami's hands for a moment, but simply huffed in the end and crossed his arms. "We will do it the proper way, and leave Orochimaru's twisted research out of it."

She could work with that. The more paranoid elders of the clan would just be happy one of them had the answer, and stop gripping at her for the lack of effort their little study group put into trying to defeat her kinjutsu. To be honest, it really had turned to more of a research group to figure out what else she could do with the Yin Release, forbidden technique than any in-depth look into how she did it and how to stop it.

Now Fugaku was going to continue his work in research, without letting his feelings on Orochimaru to get in the way. In the little habit he had that required Mikoto to help out with clan management, which Natsumi had spent years encouraging.

Mikoto was a lot better in shinobi politics that Fugaku was. He tended to lean more to statesman than actual councilor when he attended the clan council meetings. She could bend more and get more in exchange.

It might take a bit to start it up again, but at least the Uchiha situation didn't deteriorate as much as she feared.

The Uchiha clan head could've dropped it all together, and gone back to being Danzō's little plaything in the council chambers.

Then the massacre would've been a matter of time and not something Natsumi was trying to block from ever happening. With or without her.

Yay for manly pride and arrogance, Fugaku was going to do it his own way and scorn Orochimaru's twisted help.

The assassin's lips twitched as she prepared to leave.

_Men._

\V/

Natsumi sat on the back of the wagon, watching her little brats put their heads together.

She was kinda wondering why, but it probably wouldn't be worth it to get up and go figure out.

The lesson on how much of her darling little students she _didn't_ want to know would probably pop up sometime soon, and she didn't feel like hurrying it along.

Given the sneaky looks she had been receiving, whatever it was had to do with her rather than something they found interesting in their little manly ways.

Maybe it was her ANBU rank? Ibiki knew she was, Koichi had to have found the tattoo by now, and Gai was always interested no matter what was going on.

How much would they know? The older Sarutobi brother would probably know the tattoo's significance, and the black outline around the red ink that marked her a captain. Her little infiltrator knew a general timeline, that she had been established before chūnin rank. The mini-tai user had an excellent head for facts, he might recall bits or pieces that would let them put together when, how, and for what.

Natsumi's eyes cut to the side, where something had pinged off her senses.

That… wasn't natural. Human, probably.

She wasn't good enough to figure out more than that, but what little she could get was good enough.

The only ones stalking a caravan this late in their mission would be bandits, who had to be good enough to escape the sweep patrols looking for Iwa or Kumo shinobi sneaking around Fire Country.

Probably a missing-nin or two with them.

The assassin sighed, reaching behind her to grasp her katana's sheath and shunshining behind her brats once she had it in hand. "What are you three doing?"

Koichi went ramrod straight at the sound of her voice, and Ibiki cringed before doing the same. Gai just grinned up at her. "We are attempting to-"

Two hands slapped over his face pretty quickly, considering they were all genin.

"Hmm." Natsumi eyed the two guilty faces and the confused one aimed in her direction. "Think you can keep guarding the merchant while you _attempt_ to do whatever it is?"

Did she want to pull a Kakashi or not? She loved the brat, true, but he could be a dick sometimes. Letting her kids 'witness' her death would be pretty scarring.

No, she didn't want to do that.

Once after her brats were distracted in scrambling for the caravan that was leaving them in the dust, Natsumi turned her head a little and eyed the forest to the left of the road.

Gai would remember this, and she could go hunting once they didn't have a target to protect.

(ooo000ooo)

"Right, our mission is complete." Natsumi turned around to address her brats, tucking away the missive the merchant wanted her to give Hiruzen about how the team had performed on his end. "You have the rest of the day to yourselves, but we're leaving in the morning. So, if you want to pick up something or whatever just to prove you've been to this little village do it now. Stick together, because this isn't Konohagakure and you might need each other's help."

Yes, it might practically be word for word of what Jiraiya told her team after their missions. It was a good speech.

She eyed each of them, then pulled one of her battered copies of Iwa's bingo book out of her travel pack. "And this might help you 'attempt' better than just gossiping on mission."

The bingo book was a year out of date now, but better than nothing. Panther had picked it up just before her squad ran smack dab into Orochimaru.

Koichi took it with a cringe. "Sensei, about that-"

"Just don't do it when civilians are depending on you. I can stand gossip, but not when you let it interfere with the mission."

Even Gai winced at that.

Natsumi ignored it and dug out some extra ryo. "Here, for dinner. Go get something you like, because it's a week of walking back to Konoha on mostly hunted meat and travel rations."

They didn't have the control or speed yet to do the day-long tree-running she would have done alone, which meant walking along the road. Natsumi would never understand why her sensei loved to walk so.

She thought it was boring.

Ibiki was always quick when it came to cash, and snagged the money out of her hand with an impish grin. "Thank sensei."

"The Cat's Cradle is the inn we'll be staying at tonight, it's not far from where we came into the village. I'll be there in two hours, and I would like you all to be there before nightfall."

Natsumi waved them off. She had jōnin crap to do, like collect the recent rumors and gossip Jiraiya trained them all to get when out of their Hidden Village.

(ooo000ooo)

Gai was faster for short distances, so Koichi sent him to a Nabe restaurant to pick them up an early supper while he and Ibiki found them a good spot to eat and talk.

It took a bit of persuading, but the infiltrator parted with one of the few seals Natsumi-sensei had given him just in case.

By the time the taijutsu user was back with their food, the scout was all but bouncing with impatience.

Once everything was sorted out, Koichi nodded at Ibiki and his teammate activated the privacy seal.

"Its good practice, and sensei will agree with me Ibiki-kun. Now," he placed a hand on the black cover of the book, "this is a _bingo book_. From Iwa."

The infiltrator just raised an eyebrow as he chewed, but Gai looked confused.

Koichi grimaced. Sometimes his teammates weren't all that fast on the pickup. "A bingo book is a book every shinobi village puts out about people and ninja they don't like. Threats to village safety in front, and bounty targets in back. It's only given to high ranking shinobi and civilians, because they are trustworthy. But if you know where one is, you can ask to look at it no matter how much the village trusts you… so long as the person you ask does. So since this one is Iwa's, sensei probably killed someone for it."

Ibiki still didn't look impressed, but the taijutsu user flinched a little and nodded his understanding.

"Iwa probably put in a lot of effort to know Konohagakure aligned shinobi and supporters before the war broke out, which means it might be the best place to look for sensei's page." She had just forked it over, because they let their curiosity get in the way of their mission. Koichi really wasn't looking forward to telling his father about that.

He dug through the book while they ate, noting which shinobi he knew and who he didn't. Because that was information, and information was always useful.

Then he got to Natsumi-sensei's page.

Ibiki whistled as Koichi spread the book open between them all. "That's… a lot of kills."

The Konohagakure no Sato jōnin kunoichi named Nara Natsumi was listed as an A-ranked threat, and had kenjutsu user and possible fūinjutsu skills to her name. Iwa suggested the fact she might be ANBU was possible, and to treat with some caution if not jōnin.

Natsumi-sensei had foiled two assassination attempts already, one when Iwa tried to kill the Hatake wife before she could carry the next generation and the other against sensei's life just for that.

There wasn't much on any other skills besides her speed, and the physical description did have her unusual eye coloring, but it was the list of credited kills that drew attention.

That list had passed the triple digits.

A lot were civilian, some were criminals, and a scattering of shinobi with included ranks finished it off.

There was also a big bounty on their jōnin-sensei's head.

"Wow… they upped the price on me."

All three genin almost dumped their food on the ground as Natsumi-sensei dropped lightly to the ground next to them.

She ignored that and peered closer at the page she was on. "Huh… Iwa sucks. This isn't even that accurate. Well… this was a year ago… so I guess I can understand even if I'm not that impressed."

Natsumi-sensei snagged the book back, and swapped it out for another. "Let's see what Kumo has to say."

Despite themselves, all three genin bent over the next page spread that had their sensei on it.

Again, A-ranked threat. Probably ANBU, possibly captain rank. A bit more detail on her kenjutsu skills and a notation on her Summoning Contact with the Leopards, but no mention of any fūinjutsu skill. A caution warning for encountering, unless jōnin rank.

Assisted with foiling the Uzumaki kidnapping attempt, foiled joint assassination attempt with Iwa on her life.

Known associates included the S-ranked threat Jiraiya of the Sannin. A-ranked threat fūinjutsu user Namikaze Minato. B-ranked threat Uzumaki Kushina. The Intelligence team comprised of A-ranked threats Nara Shikaku, Yamanaka Inoichi, and Akimichi Chouza.

The confirmed and rumored kill count to her name was edging past one hundred and fifty names.

Koichi could see why his sensei hadn't been impressed with Iwa's Intelligence gathering. Kumo had a page and a half on her against Iwa's barely one.

"Kumo, I think, might actually like me more than Iwa does. But anyways, I'm not in Kiri's book yet so we can't compare this to that view. Suna wouldn't have a reason to put me in, I'm not a threat to them as long as they are our friends."

"Why would Kumo like you, sensei?"

She smirked at the confused expression on Gai's face. "Because B likes to flirt with me. B, who is the brother of A and that shinobi's taijutsu partner. A would be the next Raikage in either a few weeks to a few years."

Okay, that was disgusting. From the look on his face, Ibiki agreed with Koichi's feelings on that subject.

"So what is the third option for stealth specialists?"

Both of Gai's teammates froze in horror, staring at the bluntly spoken taijutsu user.

"There's actually four, but the one I think you're thinking of? Assassination."

Ibiki seized the opening before Koichi could cover their actual topic of discussion. "What's the fourth one?"

"Sabotage." The smirk on Natsumi-sensei's face told them they hadn't gotten away with that. "Koichi-kun might actually make a good saboteur, but I'm not going to let him go that way just yet."

The genin in question bristled irritably. He hadn't known that, but why not? Was it because he was the Hokage's son?

"Because saboteurs don't tend to live long past their sixteenth birthday." The smirk on her face slipped off, and now sensei just looked kind of sad. "I would like to make sure you can come home afterward first, Koichi-kun, before I start teaching you how to do it."

Koichi would've been paranoid that he spoke aloud, if he hadn't known he hadn't spoken at all. She just knew him well enough to know where his mind would go.

"Now, for the reason I came out here." Natsumi-sensei shook off whatever was making her sad and looked at each of them. "Gai-kun, do you recall where it was I popped up behind you all?"

"Hai, sensei."

She nodded, not all surprised the taijutsu user was perceptive enough to remember that. "I felt the presence of someone there, which was why I moved to the rear of the caravan. Might be bandits, might be nuke-nin. Either or, we'll be scouting the way back to ensure there isn't anything nasty lying in wait for future travelers. As far as the villagers here know, there isn't. But that's not good enough for us, because whoever it was might have moved in just recently."

Koichi swallowed as she looked straight at him.

"As our scout, you'll be leading us. I'll be right behind you, then Ibiki-kun, and Gai-kun will take the rear. There might be some fighting tomorrow afternoon. And while I don't really want to send you all off to bed thinking about it, you probably wouldn't like to hear about it right before we set out tomorrow morning."

She got three firm nods for that concession.

She smiled a bit wearily. "Then remember this. No matter what happens, we're doing it for the Land of Fire. For those that look to us for protection. It's our job to ensure they are safe, and that's what we're doing tomorrow. I'm going to be back in the inn for the rest of the night, my room is two-oh-one. You three are across from me in two-oh-two."

Natsumi-sensei passed out keys to them and got up. "Don't worry about it too much, or you'll be tired tomorrow morning. Do ensure your gear is packed for combat, because reaching for kunai and coming out with a toothbrush is not fun. You can ask Inoichi-sama yourselves, but I know it's not because I watched him do it."

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi looked over her brats as they tried to eat something light for breakfast, but other than Gai knuckling his eyes once or twice they looked okay.

Hopefully telling them had been the right idea.

She hated it when things were kept from her, and at least this way they weren't walking into something blind or panicking at the last minute when she checked to ensure they were packed right for possible combat and not just traveling.

Without the merchant caravan they had been protecting, it took them less time that she had thought to get back to the spot Gai recalled.

They didn't even need to go out of their way to find whatever it was she felt, because there were bandits standing in the middle of the road.

Natsumi just wanted to slap herself in exasperation.

Really? That was still done now?

On the other hand it could be… yep.

She sighed, and tilted her head to look at her boys.

"Okay, gakis. This is what is known as an obvious distraction attempt using live cannon fodder…" Natsumi didn't manage to clear her katana from its sheath before the swipe of a battle ax came at her neck, but did managed to place her blade between her and the ax. "And this would be the trap."

A startled Gai kicked backwards, shattering the man's knee and flipping away from the ax wielder before the ax fell on him.

Ibiki and Koichi placed themselves between their sensei's back and the mob ahead, the Sarutobi brat steadying the taijutsu user before he overcorrected with one hand.

"Go beat the rabble up so they don't interfere. Ibiki, paralyzing tags once they're down."

Leaving the seven probably civilian bandits to her three genin, Natsumi turned to fully face the two missing-nin. One was the shinobi with the shattered knee and the other was a kunoichi standing a bit farther back. They both had too much chakra in them to be civilians, but probably not enough to be called chūnin.

Cloud and Grass, from what they dressed themselves in, neither were probably above chūnin rank if they hadn't been hunted down and killed yet. Genin deserters, more than likely.

The ax wielder was obvious, weapons specialist, but the kunoichi was an unknown.

Probably a genjutsu user… lovely.

Since returning a dead nuke-nin was better than interrogating a live one, and they weren't at war with Kusa, Natsumi just shunshined behind the woman and sliced her throat open. She had no concessions for Kumo, so she just knocked him out with a paralyzing tag of his own since he couldn't get far with his knee.

Then got to watch her brats beat up bandits as she summoned Kenta. The Leopard stuck around to watch with her a little before heading back for the village to get some help.

"Stay over there and guard them, there might be more waiting!" Natsumi barked at her kids before they could wander back to her, tying up the Kumo nuke-nin herself. "The village will send some men out to pick them up in a bit."

She didn't want them to see the Kusa kunoichi and her ruined throat either.

Making sure her hand was clean, Natsumi whistled like a hunting hawk.

Lucky for her, there was a nearby Hunter-nin team. Whom had probably been looking for the missing-nin she had just dealt with. They took charge of the live and dead ninjas and then checked the area for her, leaving the assassin to wander back over to her kids with the all-clear.

It was almost evening by the time some of the men from the village they had left showed up, and Natsumi watched with a bit of amusement as they avoided her but praised her brats for the bandits. Kenta merely shrugged over their wariness before dismissing himself.

They also avoided the bloody patch of grass, and almost refused to take the rusty battle ax with them.

The assassin insisted, so they did in the end.

"That wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be." Koichi told his sensei as they moved a bit farther down the road before setting up camp.

"They were practically civilians that either ran into some hard times or just wanted to rob people instead of work." Natsumi shrugged easily. "Bandits are more trouble for civilians than us. Nuke-nin are a different story, they abandoned their villages and comrades and went on the run instead of trying to solve whatever problem they had. Normally, you can't trust or deal with them. But occasionally there'll be a reason they have you might respect, but you have to weigh that against betrayal and forsaking their home."

"Where those two trustworthy?"

The assassin blinked down a Gai. "I don't know, honestly. The Hunter-nin team might, but I wasn't at all amused at them attacking my team so I didn't bother to listen if they wanted to talk."

Ibiki shrugged it off, as he really didn't care. They betrayed their village, so as far as he cared they deserved it.

Koichi thought a moment, but accepted the reasoning in the end. He knew why betrayal was so bad to most shinobi, and that for ninja who were suspicious on the uptake why betrayal wasn't a good character reference, and understood his sensei's position.

It was her taijutsu user that was so perceptive that puzzled over it the most. Gai could understand why she hadn't listened, and why she never gave them the chance to talk if they wanted, but knew there generally was more to any story than what was on the surface. He started in genjutsu, knowing the how and whys of it all was almost second nature to him.

Natsumi knew that, so she stopped and looked him in the eye. "The ones that have good reasons tend to be either chūnin or jōnin in rank, and they get hunted down really fast if they don't have reason for it. I'd bet those two weren't even chūnin. Was it likely they had good reason for it? Not really. Sticking around to find out might have hurt me or you guys. So I had to weigh the likely threat possible dialogue might have covered against your safety. Because to take down a jōnin they would need some kind of leverage, and who better than my genin team? And I like you all much better than two ninja that I just met and had just attacked me."

Gai thought a bit more, but finally nodded seriously at that. "Thank you, sensei."

Natsumi just shrugged again.

"Not a problem Gai-kun. I know you tend to think a bit more, and I don't mind explaining things to you so long as we have the time. Now," she clapped her hands together and beamed at her brats, "who wants to go hunting?"

Koichi kicked Ibiki to get him to yelp and hopefully attract attention.

"Koichi-kun, since you were so nice to volunteer, you can go hunt tonight."


	13. Tactical Strategies and Refinement

_Which is better?_

_Eternal warfare… or a horrific means death?_

* * *

Natsumi was totally blaming Gai's grandfather.

The elderly man was a bit… off.

Might have taken a few too many hits to the head, that one.

Maito Hiroshi was also near the end of his life, and had already witnessed his two sons and one daughter-in-law being added to the Konohagakure no Sato's KIA Memorial. He didn't know or not if his grandson would be added before he finally gave up the ghost that rattled in his bones.

She was pretty sure the strangeness the old man gave off like a vibe could be excused.

Hiroshi-jii-sama was also the one to encourage the ' _Youth!_ ' of Gai, and all the silly, sometimes stupid, self-barging with fate and kami.

Like; 'If I do a hundred sit-ups in five minutes, you will be well enough to walk tomorrow, jii-chan!'

Natsumi, now that she knew why, wouldn't stop any of that out of respect for the elderly-soon-to-be-dead. She was pretty sure the old man knew her thoughts on him and was really amused by it. It might be why, whenever she visited him, he encouraged Gai to show his teacher his ' _Youthful Hard Work!_ '

…or Hiroshi-jii-sama was really bored, and wanted to make Natsumi cringe from the volume and the oddness.

Gai hadn't, as of yet, taken his grandfather's encouragement to extremes. He was a bit odd at the moment, taking very careful care to ensure he was keeping up with the morals his grandfather instilled in him. When he did so, Gai came off as a bit stilted and overly enthusiastic to be meeting Hiroshi-jii-sama's expectations of him as a young man of the Maito family.

That _was_ understandable.

As Gai did start off in genjutsu to honor his mother, who apparently had been the only parent he had known. Maito Ran had been a chūnin ranked genjutsu user of Konohagakure, who had been working on her mastery of the art before her death, but with Natsumi's warning he chose to hold that bit of his mother to himself and look for another way.

It might be possible that in just a matter of time, her little taijutsu user would use that odd bit of his grandfather to comfort himself once the elderly man finally did fail to wake again.

The assassin really could only wait and see.

It was a bit sad to be the one watching from the outside, but she wouldn't dishonor the old man by second guessing him over his grandson while he was alive enough to argue.

That, and she really didn't want to argue with Hiroshi-jii-sama. It would be like kicking a really old dog.

The day Team Nine returned to the village, after their first C-rank mission, she just accompanied Gai home for the morning and sat in their sprawling old home on the outskirts of a little-used training field. That way, while her mini-tai user was bragging to his grandfather she could give her endorsement of the facts.

Gai really had no one else in his life he looked up to, and he would go to her once the elderly man finally rested his old bones for the last time.

Hiroshi-jii-sama knew that, and he always did appreciate her coming by. He knew he probably wouldn't live out the year, and liked that she was considerate enough to let him get to know her before she had to finish raising his grandson for his family.

Natsumi did like him pretty well herself. Even if he did like nettling her over his odd personality traits Gai was picking up from him.

(ooo000ooo)

Morino Kamioka was a civilian.

Natsumi really couldn't get beyond that.

She could understand why Ibiki's father went for her, she was pretty, dainty, and a woman that held family above even her own health and continued life.

The assassin did respect the hell out of the woman's dedication to the survival of her family. That was part of the reason she mostly loved the civilian members of the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

Yeah, they could be stupid sometimes. No, she would never trust them with something she cared for.

They couldn't be expected to know things that weren't expressly told to them, though. They weren't ninja, after all.

However… Kamioka _was_ a civilian. The type of civilian that just avoided everything shinobi out of unease and unwillingness to understand.

Not like Eri, who just shrugged when she became pregnant with a clan heir and dove into a ninja-like lifestyle with both feet. Not like Momo, who was enamored with Chouza in spite of his shinobi work but could deal with the blood, scars, and surprise caches of weaponry pretty well.

Kamioka was part of that third version of Hidden Village civilian.

The ones that feared their shinobi protectors.

Even if there was Yamanaka encouraged conditioning throughout the entire village, in getting their civilians used to young ninja before they became feared killers, there were still those that didn't like shinobi for what they did or how they lived. They were very traditional civilians, in that the son followed the father's profession and the daughter married young to continue the family's honor. Kamioka was part of that, but married a shinobi anyways and bore him two sons.

Natsumi didn't know how that worked out, and probably would never know.

Ibiki had gotten caught in that a little, with the civilian mindset that the male head of house was supposed to be the provider. With ninja, that worked out however it worked and they rolled with that.

At least, her little infiltrator _had_ gotten caught in that mentality. Then he got her as a sensei.

Natsumi had first met Kamioka when the woman had been attempting to find something to feed baby Idate with in her tiny apartment. When her team was on a lunch break and she got Ibiki a little tied up, literally. Because Natsumi wanted to know what was making her student so stressed and irritable, as it wasn't good for the team dynamic.

The civilian woman had already been stressed, starving, and nearly frantic when her son's jōnin-sensei came by.

The assassin had blinked at the rushed and grim explanation, looked around at the sterile two-bedroom apartment and empty cupboards for a moment, and told the woman to follow her.

Natsumi had bought the little family groceries with her emergency cash sealed into her weapon's pouch, then sat the woman and tiny baby plus bottle down at a noodle specialty shop and explained what the jōnin-sensei were to a civilian family over a bowl of soup.

Kamioka hadn't liked it, relying on a kunoichi she didn't know to help her care for her family, but accepted the help as long as Ibiki paid her back eventually.

Natsumi might have forgotten to tell her little infiltrator that detail.

The pay she got for an A-ranked mission with all of Natsumi's varied skills, ANBU rank, and her rare-ish specialty, was about three times higher than any B-ranked mission pay her team would see before jōnin rank.

The assassin… hadn't told the Morino family that either.

Ibiki would realize it, eventually. He was already noted on the Intelligence lists as a possible fūinjutsu user, and was getting a pay hike for it already even if he couldn't use that skill in a fight or for the village yet. Her little infiltrator also knew she had Summoning and kenjutsu as skills against his more common main specialty and maybe fūinjutsu. So Ibiki would put it together as soon as he sat down and thought about it.

Which would probably not be a fun conversation… but _ninja_.

Ninja and unethical went pretty much hand in hand with sneaky and devious.

Ibiki would be mad at her for a little while, but his mother would be alive.

Natsumi could live with that.

Kamioka had been healthy enough to actually come out and greet the team when they returned to the village, so she just let Ibiki go off after reporting in the mission as complete with only a backwards wave.

She'd visit them in a week or two, and ensure everything was going well on that end.

(ooo000ooo)

Sarutobi Hiruzen was a bit of an odd person for Natsumi to deal with now.

He was her kage… and the father of one of her genin.

Reporting her team's mission to him personally wasn't required as simply a jōnin-sensei… but probably appreciated as the father of one of her team members anyways.

She liked the man herself, as both a leader and as a person. The fact he was the one to bitch-smack Orochimaru when he tried to kill her only had a little to do with it. That like was mostly Jiraiya's fault, since her sensei did love the old man.

Sarutobi Hiruzen was also a pretty damn good leader, it was just that he was getting old. He was about half a century old now, and Natsumi could understand the weariness that came with that age marker.

The assassin had compromised in the face of that. Report in personally to finish the mission and hand in the first set of paperwork, then go back later on and tell the older shinobi how it had gone.

Biwako was also a pretty damn good cook in her own right.

Koichi was a bit unnerved to have his jōnin-sensei sitting next to him at the dinner table, but his enthusiasm in telling Asuma what had gone on during his mission hadn't been damaged. Natsumi only had to correct a few things about her Iwa bingo book pages, but that had been mostly because of the comparison with Kumo's Intelligence gathering and the disparity between the two.

Afterwards, she then went into Hiruzen's study to tell the kage what she thought Koichi would make in a few years.

The Hokage had looked pained at the saboteur bit.

Sabotage experts only happened rarely, and they really didn't live very long. When they got caught, the village denied their existence and left the made saboteurs to their own fate because they normally got caught doing things that had no good explanation another Hidden Village would accept without war breaking out.

Natsumi was of the opinion that was why the little story in her head only had Koichi's son in it, and what had happened to the Sandaime's first born to the point a six- or seventeen-year-old shinobi fathered a child just in case.

They might not get a Sarutobi Konohamaru in Natsumi's Konohagakure.

If that had been how it worked out, the assassin wasn't sorry for it. Konohamaru had been a damn good kid and a shinobi of the Leaf, but that wasn't worth it to kill Koichi over.

She told her Hokage, and had vowed to herself, that her brats would survive the Third War if she had anything to say about it.

She had a _lot_ to say with it.

Hiruzen had asked what she thought might work.

Natsumi suggested ANBU and black ops backup. Specifically, _assassination_ geared backup.

Panther's ANBU team had a spotless mission record. It wasn't that impressive, as mission failure in ANBU usually meant the squad was killed either before, during, or after a mission. Most of what pulled Natsumi out of ANBU was other things, like assassination attempts or running into traitors.

…or her being naughty.

Hiruzen seized on that, for some hope his first born son would survive the change from scout to saboteur. He gave his blessing for her plan.

Koichi would be an ANBU saboteur by sixteen, and probably her next rookie.

Now Natsumi had to ensure he would survive that too… because she didn't want another Bat, who would just die for her when she got surprised in a fight.

(ooo000ooo)

"…the _middle_ of the road?" Shikaku asked, incredulously.

"I know, right?" Natsumi sat down next to him with a huff, still wringing out her long hair from her earlier shower and eyeing the shogi game he was playing against himself. "Who does that anymore?"

"Apparently, very desperate nuke-nin." He told her with a straight face, threading his hands into her wet hair and braiding it for her. "I'm not entirely sure why they would think that was a good idea."

"It wasn't that bad of a plan. It might have worked, for a team of chūnin or genin." She let him to play with her hair, as he was the only reason it was long. She instead looked out over the yard, waiting for him to finish. "But not on jōnin. The reasoning might have been that they didn't have any other plan that might have worked."

"And why we send our genin teams out with jōnin, if only one team is commissioned." Shikaku tugged on the end of her hair, letting her know he was done playing with it.

The wet braid smacked into her back, but Natsumi ignored that. She was wearing his shirt again, so she didn't really care about wet clothing. It was midsummer as well, so it wasn't that cold out. "Now, what have I missed while I was on a totally boring C-rank caravan guard mission with my brats?"

"The Kumo situation exploded." He grimaced, the scars pulling up on side of his mouth until it looked like he was snarling. "I was a little worried for your team, seeing as you did head north. Needless to say, your next C-rank might be a bit rougher than your first."

Natsumi sharply sucked in a breath.

That wasn't good. Now instead of only one front to fight on, Konoha had to fight on two. One just a stone's throw away from their borders.

Well… Suna would assist with Iwa. They were getting into it more and more ever since Komushi started learning under her.

That did mean deployments were going to be shifted around again, to account for the new fighting up north.

"The civilians?"

"Were warned, and they had already been in the process of shifting south ever since last year. They escaped most of the worst parts of that two-day-long battle to turn Kumo away and back into the Land of Hot Water."

Which would also explain why she had been avoided by the village men after the scuffle with the bandits. Her genin were safe, they were young boys and therefore less threatening. She was one of those much gossiped about shadowy adult kunoichi fighting near their village, and scary to rural civilians.

"Well… want to take bets on which end we get deployed to?"

Shikaku snorted. "You need to be seen. The Orochimaru betrayal was a hammer blow to morale. I highly doubt they'll stick the heroine of that sordid little tale back in ANBU, so we'll probably end up either jumping fronts for our next deployment or being stuck out like a sore thumb."

Natsumi made a face. "I don't really feel much like a hero for that. More like a little idiot that failed to wait for backup."

Hiruzen hadn't seen a point in try to cover up his once treasured student's massive betrayal, so he dragged nearly everything about it into the light. The only things the Hokage hadn't pulled out was the ANBU squad that ran into the Snake Summoner and the kids rescued from the lab. Using the rest of it to hide the worst of the results from that betrayal. The civilians might have gotten distracted by the gore, but the shinobi looked at who had been in for injuries without a recorded mission to explain it.

Natsumi's three month long stay in the hospital didn't have a lot of details about it recorded.

Normally shinobi were generally sent home to heal in their own beds, seeing as they were never very comfortable in a hospital.

The only reason that didn't turn to suspicion, given that Orochimaru had been held there for two months as well, was because as soon as Natsumi got out of the hospital she went seamlessly back to her usual life.

With a _compromised_ chakra system.

There wasn't much that could damage a shinobi's chakra coils. Pissing off a Hyūga would only shut that down for a few days. An Aburame would just drain you to exhaustion if you annoyed them. Physical injury might, but chakra was adaptive in its natural form. It would compromise and shift to another coil so long as the ninja still had a limb attached.

The shinobi of Konohagakure no Sato looked at how she was treated by all the S-ranked or kage level ninja of their village, how her clan friends and comrades just accepted her presence still, and what she had been struggling to overcome. Then most figured that she was probably the likely culprit for catching Orochimaru. The damage had probably been from fighting him.

Natsumi had been getting some mixed reactions from that. Most shinobi just gave off the feel of 'pat yourself on the back, you did well' for what she did. A chunk of her own comrades avoided the hell out of her. Another few warily watched her if she ran into them around the village.

The greater part of the ninja ranks of the Leaf were just waiting for the next thing she poked at, either to help her or get the hell out of the way when it exploded.

 _Eh_ … well. She could use that.

Shikaku tugged her braided hair again, to get her attention back on him. "Hey, remember what Inoichi told you."

"Yeah, yeah. It's better for us all that I did end up in that position before Orochimaru could escape." Natsumi pouted, but let that go with a blink. "Wait… I never told you that…"

"Inoichi did. He's my teammate, remember."

She blinked a few more times, a slow smirk crawling across her face. "Did he tell you that when you two went out to bitch at sensei with Minato? I really do wonder what goes on in your little bro-mance group."

Shikaku coughed awkwardly from inhaling wrong. "What? 'Bro-mance'?"

"Yeah, a manlier version of a girls' tea party. Where you gather to gossip about the women in your life or simply drink a few bottles of sake."

He just eyed her warily.

"And bro-mance is a mesh of 'brother' and 'romance'. So, manly man friends." Her smirk grew wicked as she crawled into his lap. "It's okay, Shika. I understand you have other needs… but if you're cheating on me with my own sort of otouto, we're going to have a problem."

Shikaku muttered a few things to himself under his breath, slapping a hand over his eyes with a huff after he was done. "That's… _no_. There is no cheating going on. Especially not with Minato, as I don't go for blonds."

"I hope not, I don't think I'd look good with blonde hair."

"Your head is a very interesting place, Natsu. Not always a _good_ interesting, but interesting."

"I happen to like my head, thank you very much."

\V/

All three of her little brats peered at the Leopard cub in her arms.

Koichi was the first one to ask. "What are you doing, sensei?"

Natsumi smirked at them. "As a Summoner, I have a Contract to fulfill. As the price for Summoning Leopards for my use, I have to train a few cubs for both them and me. Meet Akira-chan, my newest Leopard Summons."

Akira was of Kenta's first brood. Her favorite Summons had volunteered her for the next two cubs she owed the Leopard Queen Tamika-sama for both the forfeit and understanding the pride showed in the face of her injuries. The other, a cub by the name Ichiru, was already trained over the year Natsumi recovered her skills. She would have to train one more before her end of the Contract was kept up with again, but she wouldn't get to keep that one.

Akira would be the one Natsumi kept.

The little Leopard cub had Kenta's lean form padded by kitten fat, and a close pattern of spots to her father's pattern. The assassin was leaning more to message running for Kenta's first daughter rather than hunting and tracking training like she had given him.

Akira would be trained for speed over stealth, but if at all possible both.

Her genin team knew Kenta, Natsumi made a point to introduce them all in case she had to send them a message. They also knew Ling-Ling, her rather surly Seal Keeper that hadn't liked being Summoned. Natsumi's only other personal Summons was a teenager by the name of Tsuyoshi, one she intended for battle assistance once he was fully grown.

Gai was first, as usual. Even if Ling-Ling had scratched him when he started her. "Hello, Akira-chan!"

Akira just purred, eyeing all three of Natsumi's genin.

The assassin's smirk grew. "She doesn't speak yet, Gai-kun. She's here for training, then it will be a year and a half before I can Summon her again. At that time, she'll know how to talk in the Human language and can greet you. But for now, all she can do is nod or shake her head to questions."

Ibiki tilted his head to the side. He didn't like how either his sensei _or_ the cat were looking at them. "So… why did you bring her today?"

"You all are going to play a game." Natsumi waited until all her brats were looking at her, and then beamed at them. "Tag. With Akira-chan it and chasing you. She has very sharp claws, by the way."

She waited a beat… then let the Leopard go.

Gai, unfortunately, had almost been waiting for her to drop the cat. He bolted the moment her arms moved.

Koichi, seeing the tai user run for it, followed closely on his heels.

Ibiki got a twenty-pound feline using him as a springboard as Akira chased off after the other two.

Natsumi just crouched down and smirked at the infiltrator. "Nice plan. Bit mean, but a nice one all the same."

"Animals chase things that run." Ibiki rubbed at the shoulder Akira used to spring off from, a smirk on his face. "I should've told the others that, but they ran before I could."

She hummed a moment. With that smirk she didn't believe a damn word of him wanting to warn the others. "Well, since you don't feel like playing tag with Akira-chan, want to play another game?"

His smirk slipped off pretty fast, and he eyed her warily like her own husband had not too long ago. "What game?"

"Dodge ball. But since I don't have a ball," a brace of senbon slipped into her empty left hand, and Natsumi held them up for Ibiki to see, "these will have to do."

Ibiki scrambled upright and ran off after his teammates.

The assassin rocked back upright, slipping the needles back into place before springing for the trees.

Akira might have explicate orders not to attack, just to chase, but she was young. Natsumi needed to keep an eye on her and ensure her boys came through this alright.

(ooo000ooo)

"What was the point of that, sensei?" Koichi rubbed at the yellowing bruise on his cheek, glaring at her.

Natsumi smirked in his face, totally unapologetic. "Speed training and familiarization. Akira-chan will be a message runner for me. So I need her to know you now, not later."

The six-month-old Leopard had managed not to attack any of her genin, but she did pounce a few times. Akira was now purring under Gai's hand, as her little tai user had thought the whole thing had been excellent training for them.

Ibiki and Koichi weren't as sold on the idea as their third teammate.

"Why now?" Her surly genin glared at the big kitten, from the far side of the little circle.

"Because in two or so months, Ibiki-kun, I'll be leaving for the fronts." The assassin reached over and scratched the big kitten's chin. "After six to nine months of that, I'll maybe get home for another nine months to a year and three months. Then gone again. Once I send Akira back for good, I won't get her back until she's old enough by Leopard standards. That means when she picks up message running from her tou-san, it might be when I can't familiarize her with you right away. So it has to be done now."

Koichi's head jerked up, Ibiki lost his scowl for a gape, and Gai almost pulled Akira's ears as he jerked.

Natsumi blinked at them. "You didn't really expect me to stay behind, did you?"

"But-! You're a jōnin- _sensei!_ Our _sensei!_ We're not ready yet!"

She reached over and pushed lightly on Koichi's chest, to get him to sit down. "Not ready for what? Me leaving?"

"The chūnin exams!"

"Of course you're not." Natsumi stared at each of them in confusion. "Why the _hell_ do you think I'm going to shove you through that? They're not even being held anymore. Not with us trying to kill Iwa, Suna helping us, and Kumo trying to object. The only neutral place left is Kiri, and no way in hell am I letting you go in there."

Ibiki blinked a few times, gripping the back of the eldest Sarutobi brother's shirt. "Wait… then what's going to happen to us?"

"Well… nothing. I'm just going to be gone. You'll all get a chūnin or tokubetsu jōnin team leader for missions, but you'll be pretty much left alone other than that."

Gai turned to fully face her, a concerned expression on his young face. "Then… we will be running missions?"

"With other team leaders, yeah." She eyed each of them again, noting the concern they were showing and where it was directed. "Look, without me the worst you'll be doing is running missions between posts or command bases. Otherwise you'll be stuck in the village, and if you slack off in training I will pound you into the dirt when I come back."

She looked between them all, still confused. Their expressions hadn't changed much if at all.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you… still going to be our sensei after you come back?"

Natsumi blinked blankly at Gai. "Of course I will. Just because I'm getting deployed doesn't mean I'll stop being your jōnin-sensei."

Her little taijutsu user slumped into the ground. "Oh… I thought you meant we will be getting a new jōnin, sensei."

"… _why?_ _You_ were assigned Team Nine. _I_ was assigned Team Nine. You're all stuck with me until your dying day, and that had damn well better not be anytime soon."

Natsumi blinked as their expressions finally changed. That seemed to have done it.

Koichi was actually breathing again, Ibiki looked less like he wanted to panic, and Gai… seemed to be swearing something to himself.

She wasn't sure if she wanted to know.

"Look, you're all mine until chūnin rank for sure. If we keep the team together after that, until tokubetsu jōnin or full jōnin possibly. But even I still call my jōnin-sensei sensei. And Jiraiya-sensei still catches up with all of us even now that we split up our team when we got chūnin." Natsumi looked all her little genin in the eye. "You're not getting rid of me unless Shinigami-sama takes me first."

"I like the idea of sticking together after chūnin." Koichi nodded to himself, thinking on it.

Ibiki raised a hand. "I vote that too."

"Sensei!" Gai jumped to his feet, startling Akira into backing away from him. "We will make you proud of being our teacher! If we can't-"

"I think we all should collectively decide something like that, Gai-kun." The surly infiltrator wrenched his teammate back to the ground with a measure of alarm showing on his face.

Ibiki knew Gai pretty well by now.

Natsumi just snickered at them. "Once you all can play tag with Akira-chan without getting caught and take on an Inuzuka dog walking mission in the same day, I'll pick the team up an A-rank."

That caught even Koichi's attention, and all three of her genin gave the cub a considering look.

Then they looked at each other in turn.

"Sure sensei." Her little scout spoke for them all. "We'll hold you to that."

The assassin's lips twitched.

They seemed to have forgotten that she couldn't re-Summon the cub for a year and a half once she sent Akira back. Once Natsumi could summon Akira back, the feline would be mostly grown and not a cub.

Heh… _whoops._

\V/

"Isn't it pretty?" Kushina cooed as she fluttered around, excited and happy.

Natsumi just watched her fuss over the house, a wry smirk on her face.

Mikoto eyed both kunoichi and exchanged a look with Tsume. "Okay… what did you have to do with it, Natsumi?"

The assassin, who had two-year-old Hana on her lap and the almost two-year-old Itachi quietly reading a book next to her, shrugged easily at the question. "Who do you think Minato went to for help in finding a house?"

Kushina practically draped herself across her back, hugging the reincarnated soldier and darting away before she got stabbed out of pure surprise. "Thank you, Natsumi! It's a home! All for us…"

The jinchūriki wandered away again, still too excited to sit still.

Natsumi rolled her eyes and tucked the kunai back into her sleeve. "Well… if I had known all it took to get the hime's attention derailed like this, I would've bought the house."

"It is a very nice home." Mikoto allowed, pouring herself another cup of tea. "But again, for two orphans, it would be more like finally getting a home of their own and not just somewhere to sleep."

"What, and I didn't count as an orphan?"

"You've been home since you got married, Natsumi." Tsume sniffed, sprawled across Kuromaru's back. "You probably got a bit silly when Shikaku moved you in yourself."

The assassin stuck her nose in the air. "I'm not silly. I'm cruel and unusual in a humorous way sometimes, but not _silly._ "

Even the dog looked like he didn't believe her, and that was really bad.

Natsumi made a rude noise that attracted toddler attention. "Meanie."

"Mei-me?" Hana parroted, confused.

"Mea- _nie_." Itachi corrected fastidiously, patting the Inuzuka girl with a pudgy baby hand in sympathy for getting a word wrong.

Then he just looked adorably alarmed, because both females closest to him pouted at his correction.

Natsumi couldn't keep it up after getting that look directed at her. She had to laugh at the toddler's face. "Oh, Itachi-chan. You poor, _poor_ boy. The horrors that await you in the future will be varied and freaking amusing to the rest of us."

Mikoto sighed regretfully. "Stop trying to terrorize my son, Natsumi. Yes, the fan girls will be annoying. No, they are not all horrifying."

"It will still be amusing for the rest of us." Tsume interjected, smirking at the glare she got from the genjutsu mistress.

Itachi decided it would be safer for him near his mother, and toddled over to her carefully.

Hana didn't like that her playmate was leaving, and got up from the assassin's lap to follow him.

The only male in the house was a perfect little gentleman like his mother wanted him to be, and waited for her politely because she was a bit unsteady on her feet still.

Natsumi snickered.

Both toddlers looked at her, then at each other in confusion.

Then at Mikoto when the kunoichi groaned out a laugh of her own.

"Bad tactical planning, that." Tsume remarked almost casually. "He's going to hate the fangirls, but will be too damned nice to discourage them."

The Uchiha matron couldn't stifle her unwilling laughter enough to comment.

"That's what a retreat is for, Tsume." Natsumi told her wild friend mock seriously. "A tactical retreat, then repositioning for stealth maneuvers in face of overpowering enemy encroachment. Itachi-chan will be fine… and fast and _sneaky_ by ten years of age."

Mikoto almost choked on her laughter.

"Are they picking on you, Itachi-chan?" Kushina swept back into the room, plucking her godson up from the floor and sheltering him in her arms. "How very rude of them. Oops, come here Hana-chan."

She swept up the Inuzuka child as well, firmly planting both toddlers on her hips.

"Shame on all of you."

"Hime, we were discussing tactical maneuvers Itachi-chan would have to do in the face of fangirls." Natsumi managed an innocent look at Kushina's suspicious eyeing. "Just so he's prepared for it."

The jinchūriki's lips twitched upward, but she managed to arrange a mostly serious look for her friends. "Strategic planning for two-year-olds? Sure… Anyways, it's snack time. I'm stealing the kids."

She got three salutes on her way out of the room.

\V/

Panther snuck into Bear-sama's office, but got hit with a handy rolled-up scroll anyways.

The assassin rubbed the spot the wooden rod has smacked into her head, handing the paperwork back to the ANBU General. "Alright, what did I do this time?"

"That seal. You refused to adapt it."

"Yeah… because of Shimura. I don't like him, I don't trust him, and I want nothing to do with him."

The head of Konohagakure's official black ops division stared at her for a long moment. "That's it?"

"I would have to let him through that seal if I do adapt it for high security for the village and not just me." Panther dropped into the chair before the man's desk with a shrug. "I… I've been hearing some things… and I can't get the truth about any of it. Once I do, if I ever do, I'll adapt it or kill the old man."

The Hokage hadn't pressed her to do so anyways, meaning he had to have some kind of suspicion himself.

Natsumi's seal work was the best for explosives and security. For making holes in walls where there wasn't any and keeping someplace secured against prying eyes and ears.

Kushina specialized in Uzumaki sealing and barrier fūinjutsu. In everything about jinchūriki, how to block certain people from seeing or walking past a limit she set, and how to keep the seals around the village in working order.

Minato did space-time seals and physical affecting fūinjutsu. His hiraishin and the best paralyzing tags in the Leaf, just for examples.

Jiraiya dabbled in it all, but wasn't nearly as good in each branch as the few that specialized in some branch of fūinjutsu.

The ease of long familiarity let the four main fūinjutsu users of Konoha use or read each other's sealing work, but they still had their specialties in where they were better than the others. Kushina could copy Natsumi's highly lethal security seal, but she couldn't see where to alter it with what little she saw of the key. Jiraiya could probably, and Minato was even more likely than him, alter the security seal the assassin had on her home to include more people.

However the best one to do it was Natsumi, because it was her seal.

"Elder Danzō, huh…" Bear leaned back in his chair, still studying the assassin sitting across from him. "I haven't heard much out of him since the Second War, when he asked and got permission for his own black ops branch for Konoha."

Panther nodded, not at all surprised even the ANBU General hadn't gotten suspicious. "All I hear are rumors… but the thing is, all those rumors are basically the same. If it was just rumor, then there would be something different about all of them. Exaggeration through telling, misheard repeats, so on. But the rumors all agree on the basic things, so there's a reason for it. Either someone's planting them, or it's the same leak happening again and again. Trying to attract attention."

He kept staring at her, but all she could do was shrug.

"I don't know. Therefore I don't like it. I would like to know, either way, before I include him in things I want protected."

Bear finally nodded once in acceptance, turning his attention to something else. "You still sure you want to wait to take on another squad? I know what you're planning, and the payoff is pretty damn good if it all happens that way, but that will still be in four years or so."

"Three, if I can. But yes, Mouse and I can bounce around as unassigned for a little while."

"Then I'm sticking you with paperwork when you're not on mission." The shinobi waved a hand at his buried desk. "You can help with this."

Panther huffed, but reached for a nearby stack anyways.

(ooo000ooo)

Nara Shia wasn't amused at all.

Panther winced behind her mask, no remotely surprised but dreading the end result.

The Nara medic was going along with the T&I interrogation, for a security clearance she wasn't sure why she was getting, but had gotten in the face of the first captain she spotted about why the hell she needed clearance to go see her own boyfriend.

Sighing, the assassin pulled her mostly black mask off and gestured for her friend to take a seat. "There's been… an occurrence that you need to know of, Shia-chan."

"Natsumi-sama?" Natsumi's first close friend, that she hadn't known everything about beforehand, sank into the seat in confusion. "What happened?"

"Ito's been… injured. Crippled really, he lost about a good three-fourths of his left leg."

Shia looked at her clan's lady, the mask sitting on the table in the interrogation room, and then back to the ANBU captain. "You were Ito's captain?"

"Hmm, about a year after you started dating him. Yes."

The medic gave her a scrutinizing look. "Injuries wouldn't require me to get a new security clearance."

"The way he got injured and what happened afterwards would. Ito lost his leg to Orochimaru, Shia-chan."

The Nara kunoichi paled under her tan.

"And then something else happened. There were two kids in the lab when we got there."

Shia blanched.

"Tenzou and Naomi. I'm kinda fond of the two of them, but with what happened to them and a few other things they needed somewhere secure to grow up. ANBU was suggested, but that's not a place for kids. Hell, it's not very cheerful at all. But Ito volunteered his home, and the two of them stay there with him and an ANBU squad to guard them all."

She gulped, taking that in. "So… kids?"

"Five and four, we think. Tenzou-kun's showed signs of the Mokuton kekkai genkai, and Naomi-chan's sort-of-like a little Uzumaki girl. Same kind of energy, at least."

Shia fell silent, thinking.

Natsumi didn't blame the young woman. She had just spent nearly two years in Kusa and Iwa helping out the war efforts as a field medic, and then coming home to the news that her boyfriend was now crippled and the only caretaker of two kids couldn't be easy. Dropping Orochimaru's name as the reason why probably hadn't helped.

"Has… Ito asked for me?"

"Yeah…"

Shia nodded, firmly if a bit pale. "I want to at least see him."

Hmm, that didn't sound good.

(ooo000ooo)

Since the two loved her and her visits so, Natsumi didn't have any trouble coaxing Tenzou and Naomi out of the house in a few minutes.

She got them set up under a maple tree, reading their books to her in turns and trying not to listen in on what Ito and Shia were saying.

Instead she helped Naomi with her pronunciation and vocabulary for about a good ten minutes, until the Nara medic wandered out to her.

Both young children eyed her nervously, but Shia was a _Nara_. The medic moved lazily and calmly, even when she was getting fearful looks from young children that should not be afraid of her.

"Natsumi-sama, dinner's in five."

The assassin closed the story book and gave it to Naomi. "Go wash up, kids."

Natsumi just waited as the medic took a seat next to her.

"That… this is really bad."

"Tell me about it." The ANBU captain rubbed her face, thinking over the last year and how little progress they had made with the kids. "They shouldn't still be this afraid of new people, not with both me and Ito showing nothing negative to you."

"I was talking about me and Ito, but yeah. That too."

Natsumi turned to look at the chūnin medic. "Alright… what? Do you want out?"

Shia blinked, still looking a bit shocked to the assassin's eye. "No… but I don't know what use I'll be."

"Child care? On hand medic in case something goes wrong? We can't exactly take them into the hospital, not since we decided to let them grow up without that kind of public scrutiny." Natsumi shifted around to look her friend in the eye. "It's not pretty, I damn well know that. But this is temporary, Shia-chan. Once they're old enough to defend themselves, you'll be free to do whatever. If you stay. Just… we need a bit of help right now. Ito's about in it to his eyeballs, but it was the best option so he didn't get too depressed over his leg. He wants you to help, because he likes you and the medics are needed elsewhere. Ryoko in the academy and Mouse back in ANBU."

The Nara kunoichi sucked in a breath, letting it go slowly. "Abused children… It'll have to be _slow_ , Natsumi-sama. We can't just stick me in and rip Mouse out just like that. Over the course of several months, we'll have to get them used to more of me and less of Mouse."

The assassin could only shrug. "I'm leaving, Shia-chan. In, like, a couple weeks. Ito's in charge without me. Work it out with him if you would like to stay on. It's being counted as a mission, an S-ranked one for the secrecy aspect. I'm on it, Ito's on it, you'll be on it too if you stay."

"I never really wanted an S-rank mission, Natsumi-sama." The medic shrugged off the suggestion of payment, pushing herself upright. "I'll… try. But it'll take months, if at all. They might not like me."

"That's all we can really ask, Shia-chan."

\V/

Natsumi wandered over to Minato's home when the blond dropped word to Komushi that he needed her assistance with something.

She didn't expect to be ambushed and have blood drawn the moment she got through the door.

Only the fact she knew Minato's and Kushina's chakra signatures kept anyone from getting stabbed… besides her, that is.

"The _fuck_ was that for?" Natsumi yanked her hand back once it was released, sticking the injured digit in her mouth.

"Sorry sempai, I needed something to anchor you to the seal with."

Minato then wandered away, small jar of blood in hand.

The assassin turned an incredulous look on the jinchūriki.

Kushina grimaced, taking the sliced finger from the reincarnated soldier's mouth and wrapping it in a bandage she had in hand. "Minato had a thought…"

"And this leads to stabbing me? There had better be a good reason for this, hime, or I'm going to do dodge training with his head again."

She just shrugged a little, and Natsumi started to get concerned.

"Hime?"

"Minato had a thought that made him want to change his hiraishin seal, and since you use it a lot too…"

"Only because he leaves the freaking seals littered around _everywhere_ , and I'm kind of lazy." Even that failed to raise a small smile from the usually feisty Uzumaki kunoichi, and the assassin was starting to get a really bad feeling. "Hime, what's wrong?"

"It's…" Kushina brushed a hand over her stomach. "Minato thinks he knows a way to put the hiraishin into my jinchūriki seal, but he needed to change the seal he uses before he did. So we changed it, but you might not be able to use it anymore. So he wants to anchor you to the seal too, so you can keep using it."

"Well… awesome." Natsumi really hadn't expected to be included in any future development of the hiraishin, but she had gotten lazy and used the seals a few times when she was running late. Minato probably had found out somehow and was being considerate again. He occasionally had really good ideas, and acted on them. It surprised her too. "So… why is this a bad thing?"

"Well… because now you two are going to drop everything and rush to me if I'm in trouble, and that can be used against us." The Whirlpool Princess sniffed, looking miserable. "If I do get attacked for what I am… then I'll probably end up killing you two if I lose control or if 'fuzzy' gets loose."

"I don't know… they'd have to out-sneak me and out-twitch Minato. That's kinda hard to do, really." Natsumi could see the problem she had with this now, though. "No one but us three are going to know, right? So… just keep it from happening, and if it does we'll take another look at it. For an emergency, Minato's idea is good. But probably not the only one the three of us can come up with."

Kushina considered that point for a long moment. "So… do you have a better idea?"

"Maybe… Why don't you learn to use the hiraishin? We'll set up a secure bunker somewhere with a seal, where we can go if shite gets nasty."

Sea green eyes blinked at her, and then she gave a small smirk. "What, like a little cabin in the woods?"

"We'll call it your little love-nest. That would keep anyone wanting to know what we're doing there away."

Kushina giggled, reaching out to tug the assassin farther into the house. "Cute, Natsumi. But I think Shikaku might have something to say if you go there and we call it that."

" _Eww_ … incest is _wrong_ , hime."

"Who said it'd be Minato you'd be going with?"

"Heh… _kinky_."

"Really?" Minato deadpanned at the both of them as they walked into the study. "You're going to run off on me with my sister, Kushina?"

His girlfriend shrugged with a wickedly sharp smirk, looking much more settled than when Natsumi first saw her. "What can I say? I love the dark and tragic types. She's got dark hair, and her jokes are just tragic."

"Oi!"

\V/

Eri beamed at them all. "Tsunade-sama said the baby's a girl."

"I called it!"

"Aww…"

Sakumo slapped both the shorter ninja in the hospital waiting room upside the head. "Behave, children."

Natsumi just smirked at him, pulling her hair down since it was messed up yet again. "So are we going with the name you picked out, or have you two decided to change that?"

"Hatake Midori?" Kakashi tried out, still pouting from the news that his younger sibling would be a girl. "Why 'green'?"

"It's better than 'scarecrow'." The assassin ruffled the younger shinobi's silver hair and ignored his glare in return. "So you can't talk."

Eri rolled her eyes at them and the bickering. "Behave, I believe my husband told you two. And yes, Natsumi-chan. We're going with Midori-chan."

"I picked Kakashi-kun's name." The retired ANBU captain protested weakly. "It's a good name."

"So Eri-kaa-san picked Midori-chan's? Heh. Sucks to be you, Kashi-kun."

"Who names their child ' _summer beauty_ ' then?"

The assassin quirked a wry smirk at the shinobi trainee. "Apparently, both my kaa-chan and Eri-kaa-san. Besides, I like my name."

"It is a beautiful name, Natsumi-chan." The civilian woman told the kunoichi seriously. "And it would be a name I would have picked for you if I could have."

Natsumi's quirked smirk turned into a lopsided grin. "It's okay, Eri-kaa-san. You might not have been my first mother, but you're a damn good one to have anyways."

"Stop swearing, neko-chan." Sakumo cuffed her upside the head again. "And aren't you training genin right now? Shouldn't you have gotten out of that habit?"

"Mph, like my gakis care." The assassin raked her fingers to gather her hair up again. "Speaking of which, though, I should get going."

She had to talk to her genin about elemental affinities today, since she would be leaving this bit up to them to train. It wasn't like she could do it out in the Land of Hot Water at the same time they were staying back in Konoha. Natsumi had less than a week to get her brats set for the several months she would be gone for, and besides the usual lectures on what they should be doing she also had a few things to arrange just in case.

Like something for Gai's future living arrangements, because she really wasn't sure Hiroshi-jii-sama would live long enough for her to come home.

Mhmm… issues…

"If I don't see you before you leave, Natsumi-chan, take care of yourself." The civilian hugged the assassin, a bit awkwardly given her slightly protruding stomach. "You keep getting injured, and I don't like that."

"That's not even totally my fault." She protested wryly, hugging the woman back. "I swear, it's never my work that does it. It's always someone else."

"Lies." Sakumo refuted with a grin. "I've seen you bleed on mission plenty of times, neko-chan. It's just the really bad injuries that happen when you're not working."

"My point exactly." Natsumi huffed. She ruffled Kakashi's hair again, getting the same narrow look she gave her old taicho when he messed up her hair. "Take care, brat. I'll see you when I get back."

'Scarecrow' just grumbled, trying to fix his messy mop of rooster hair.

The assassin exchanged a salute with Sakumo before vaulting out a window.

(ooo000ooo)

Fire, fire, earth, water.

It looked like Natsumi would be picking up another element.

Ibiki and Gai were pretty much set, fire natured chakra was so common in the _Land of Fire_ that they could get the basic jutsus of their element practically anywhere.

Koichi was a bit of a surprise.

A doton user and a fūton user from the Sarutobi clan, two brothers from the same parents. Natsumi would kinda like to know exactly how that happened. She knew Hiruzen had both fire and earth nature to him, but she really didn't know what Biwako started with or could use.

Maybe nature depended on what element a parent used the most?

…maybe just the mother? But… how did the Hatake white chakra work then?

 _Eh_.

"Okay. Well… interesting." Natsumi let the soggy remains of her chakra testing paper between her fingers drop to the ground. "Gai-kun, Ibiki-kun. This will pretty much be routine for you, as katon is the most common elemental chakra nature in Konohagakure. Koichi-kun, lucky for you I know of doton and know how to work it up. We'll both be doing it, and you had better get farther than me before I come back."

Her surly little infiltrator flicked the ashes from his fingers with a shrug, but her tai user was frowning as he watched the ashes drift away.

"Gai-kun?"

"Sensei, what happens if you don't train an element?"

Natsumi blinked at the kid. "I… don't know. Do you want me to find out?"

Gai weighed that in his head, brushing off the last of the ash from his fingers on his pants leg. "Yes, sensei."

The assassin hummed, running who she knew through her head. "Okay. Ibiki-kun, start with the basics of fire control. Koichi-kun, we're molding soil into balls without fingers. Start attempting it while I go talk to a few others. Gai, just chakra control while I'm gone. The usual stuff."

Her brats split up for their tasks, and Natsumi decided she would go to her own sensei first.

Jiraiya had to know, right?

(ooo000ooo)

"Why?" Ibiki asked as the assassin slipped back into the training grounds.

Natsumi paused, wondering what she had just tripped into.

"I… it was something my okaa-sama wished to know." Gai confessed seriously, dropping to the ground to face both his teammates. "She decided not to train an elemental affinity to find out."

Koichi rocked back on his heels for a moment, shaking the dirt off his hand. "Isn't… uh, she dead, Gai-kun? Do you think that might have been what killed her?"

"Maito Ran-san was killed by a kunai, kids." The assassin dropped lightly to the ground. "Her lack of element had nothing to do with it."

Gai seemed to wilt a bit at that news he probably hadn't known, and her other two brats looked rather sorry to have brought the subject up.

"Apparently, not training an element into chakra is a bit of a good thing." Natsumi sat on the ground, bringing them all at eye level to each other. "It's harder for sensors to pick up someone without a large amount of whatever element trained up in them against the backdrop of natural energy they also sense. It is apparently confusing to sense someone like that. But you need to balance that against limited ninjutsu use, Gai-kun. You would need to put in a lot of hours training up your chakra reserves too, because elemental training usually does that for most shinobi. Or you would end up limiting yourself to just the basic ninja techniques."

She had taken four hours to run around Konohagakure no Sato trying to find the answer to her little genin's question. From Jiraiya to Mikoto, and then to a few other shinobi she hadn't had a reason to go meet yet.

Then to one Master Chang. A very skilled jōnin in the art of taijutsu, who had a student that seemed to have the same issue as Rock Lee would have in a few years.

Chang was an odd-ball shinobi, to be sure, but the student-teacher pair reminded her of Gai and Lee.

He also gave her a niggling little itch of familiarity, but she couldn't recall where she knew him from. Chang was pretty renowned in the Leaf as a taijutsu master, so that might be it. She was writing it off as something from this life and not her other, simply because he reminded her of a thinner, shorter, yellow, _dreadlocked_ Gai.

Natsumi would dearly love to keep an eye on those two, just to see what the hell had gone on with them if they hadn't been available to help her student's student in a decade and some of time.

"So," she waited until Gai looked up at her again, "you can chose to not train an element. But that would mean you have to find some other way to get mid to long-range skills for battle. I would advise weaponry, just in case you ever come across a shinobi you don't want to come to grips with."

"Thank you, sensei."

The assassin nodded to her sometimes too serious taijutsu user.

"If you have any more questions like this, don't hesitate to ask me. I can't give an answer if you never ask, Gai-kun. That goes for the both of you too." Natsumi shifted around to look at both Koichi and Ibiki. "Ask, damn it all. I can't read minds."

\V/

"Are you sure about this, Komushi? You are good enough that I would call your apprenticeship done and over, you don't have to stay for another half a year or so."

Her Suna-nin student shrugged, fiddling with the brushes he had been using before she visited. "I'm okay with staying a bit longer, shishou. You were right, teaching Ibiki-kun calligraphy is good practice. But I can also get a head start on the fūinjutsu I would like to give back to my village this way, and still get advice from Kushina-sama, you, and Minato-san if I need to. Kazekage-sama understands and approves of the delay, since I am still getting assistance for my own script work at the same time."

Natsumi's lips twitched. "I see. Well… I got permission from Kushina-hime to teach Ibiki-kun the Uzumaki method of ink making. She'll be taking that up if I'm not here by the time he gets to inks."

"Hai, shishou."

"And I'm putting extra funds in your account. I want you to watch Ibiki-kun, and when he starts looking stressed give him some. Say it's from me to handle the cost of fūinjutsu supplies."

Komushi blinked a bit. "But, shishou… you already cover that through me. I buy our supplies."

"Forget to tell him, Komushi."

"Hai, shishou."

(ooo000ooo)

"Eri-kaa-san?"

"Natsumi-chan! What's wrong, don't you leave in two days?"

"Hai… I need to ask a favor."

The civilian woman turned to face the assassin fully, leaving what she was cooking to simmer away. "What is it?"

"I have a student, Gai-kun, whose jii-sama might not live long enough for me to get home again…"

(ooo000ooo)

Tsume blinked at her.

Natsumi pouted.

The Inuzuka alpha tilted her head to the side.

The assassin glared.

"Fuck you, Natsumi… fine. But I'm doing it _my_ way."

"Thanks Tsume."

\V/

"This sucks." Koichi glared at the ground, shoulder hunched.

Ibiki just grunted, stewing over their jōnin-sensei's absence in his own way. Gai moped a bit behind the both of them.

Koichi did not like the fact Natsumi-sensei was deployed out to fight the war. She was their sensei, would be for the rest of her life, and both Iwa and Kumo sucked for making her have to leave them before even a whole year was over.

Without her, they would be stuck to message running or as merchant guards for missions. For that to happen his genin team had to accept a different team leader instead of Natsumi-sensei.

Koichi didn't have very many adults in his life where he was a major priority. His father had to take care of Konohagakure, and his mother helped both him and the medic corps as well as caring for the family. He didn't have any aunts or uncles, and the academy instructors all wanted to just praise the son of the Hokage instead of Koichi himself.

Natsumi-sensei told him his faults, poke and prodded him into being more of a teammate than just a genin on her team, and let him get away with a few things he hadn't been able to elsewhere.

She also answered questions, just as bluntly as they asked her.

Now that she was gone, Koichi realized he wanted to keep that.

She hadn't avoided the questions he asked, claiming it wasn't in his best interest to learn as the son of their Hokage and a person of interest for other villages. She also hadn't redirected attention elsewhere because she didn't want to be the one to tell him something others may not like.

Koichi wondered what other option a stealth specialist had besides espionage and infiltration, and so she told them both assassination and sabotage.

Then that he would make a good saboteur in time.

He had been about ready to pop, angry over the supposed control his sensei wanted over him and his life, until she said she wanted to keep him alive past his sixteenth birthday.

Koichi had held his tongue, until he got back to the village and managed to talk to his father about both specialties.

Otou-sama had sighed sadly, and told him the rest of it.

Assassins had about a three-year life expectancy once they decided to go that way. Natsumi-sensei was a bit odd in that respect, she had been doing it for almost ten years and was still alive. She was also _ANBU_ , and had that shadowy division of Konohagakure to support her if she needed help.

Saboteurs normally didn't live past their first year of mission work. At all.

There hadn't been any famous saboteur in the shinobi world, because the moment they got routed out as one they normally died pretty quick.

Koichi taking on saboteur as a specialty would likely kill him if he wasn't good enough in the first place.

Natsumi-sensei wanted him good enough before that.

That had been a bit humbling to learn.

He wasn't the only one their jōnin-sensei looked after like that, she did the same with Ibiki and Gai. Natsumi-sensei got him beat up for listening in on Ibiki's finance troubles, because that had been rude of him, but he heard what she had done for Ibiki. Additionally, there wasn't any real reason Koichi could see for her pandering to Gai's grandfather's odd behavior, but she did it anyways.

Now… she was gone.

For about half to three-quarters of another year.

Koichi was pretty certain the rest of his team was just about as irritated over that as he was.

…or somewhat depressed, given Gai's mood at the moment.

"You brats are late."

Koichi almost fell on his face at the barking voice.

There was a kunoichi standing in the middle of their usual training field. An Inuzuka, with the facial markings and the large dog standing next to her.

"Natsumi practically sat around and glared at me until I agreed to take you brats on until she got home." The kunoichi snarled at them, glaring herself. "She said you all were pretty good. But if you're going to be late every fucking day, I'm not wasting time on you. I'll give you today, Natsumi just left after all. But this had better not be a habit."

"Err… excuse me, Inuzuka-san." Gai spoke up for them all after a beat, looking at the jōnin's flak vest and her clothing. "But… who are you?"

That earned him a feral grin. "Why, I would be Tsume, gaki. Alpha of the Inuzuka clan, jōnin tracker. And a friend of your sensei."

"Tsume-sama," Ibiki cautiously greeted, eyeing her warily, "what exactly did sensei want you to do?"

"Drop the - _sama_ , gaki. I don't like it." The wild kunoichi eyed him back. "And she wanted me to take on her genin team. So you're mine now, until your sensei gets home."

Koichi blinked. "She did?"

"If you never noticed, when you sensei starts worrying she makes plans." Tsume informed them blandly. "And she worries over the lot of you. So she made some plans, and backup plans for those plans. I happen to be one of them."

The jōnin didn't sound all together happy about it, but she was still standing there.

Koichi blinked a few more times. "So… you're our new team leader?"

Tsume turned her gaze on him, and finally cracked a smirk. "Ah… so this is _your_ plan."

He started in surprise. "What?"

"Natsumi fussed with a few people in case Gai's jii-san past away before she got home, she fussed at that Sand chūnin gaki to ensure Ibiki would still have his lessons. I couldn't figure out why she fussed at me, but I had assumed it was for her." The Inuzuka crouched down, still smirking. "But it was for you. You're a bit edgy. You don't like the idea of someone else leading the team other than your sensei, do you?"

Koichi's face heated up.

"I really did think it was because Natsumi doesn't trust very many to do what she needs done in her place, but this is all your fault." Tsume informed him bluntly. "She knew that you weren't going to like it, so she ensured you wouldn't have to trust someone she didn't trust to lead."

There was a beat of silence.

Then Gai started swearing on the souls of his ancestors to make their sensei proud of them and to deserve her forethought, and Koichi ignored the rest of it for sake of his sanity. Ibiki grumped a bit, but finally walked a bit closer. Koichi himself admired how sly their sensei could be, she hadn't even breathed a word of all this before she left.

Really, all he could think of was Natsumi-sensei's favorite word. "Awesome."

\V/

"I'm having… genin withdrawals." Natsumi blinked into the dark a few times, turning to her husband with a frown. "How the _hell_ does that work?"

Shikaku eyed her as he chewed up his ration bar. "Maybe because you've stopped worrying so much over those gakis, and now need something else to mess with?"

Inoichi coughed into his hand across the fire pit.

She flipped the blond off. "Screw you, blondie."

Chouza was at least _pretending_ he didn't find that amusing as all hell.

They were sitting in a mockup of a campsite in the Land of Hot Water, pretty much killing time until that group of Kumo-nin hanging around decided to attack.

She despaired over the intelligence of their opponents… _Leaf_ jōnin didn't make an obvious camp when there were perfectly good trees to shelter in for the night.

Really, they didn't even take camping gear out of the Hidden Village unless it was winter or their mission required them to leave Fire Country during midwinter.

A fire pit when needed? Yes. A camp complete with tents and bedrolls? Hell no. Only genin did that for the experience at first.

Natsumi felt kind of insulted by how little that group of would-be assassins had thought this through.

They had set up the temporary camp anyways, giving off the impression that they didn't know that team of Cloud shinobi were nearby. In about an hour they would pretend to turn in for the night, leaving Chouza on guard as their 'watch'.

If they still hadn't attacked by then, Natsumi would slink out of the back of Shikaku's tent and go hunting.

The assassin sighed as Inoichi and her husband picked up the conversation front from that insult.

The Fire/Hot Water border was a complete mess, stretching all the way to the Frost/Lightning one.

There wasn't a distinct line of combat, not like the front in Earth had been before they started moving out of the pass there. It really was nothing more than a kill-zone that wavered back and forth. Through both the Land of Hot Water and the Land of Frost.

Anything without the hitai-ate from either their Hidden Village or the nearby Shimogakure was to be killed on sight.

Natsumi had done a whole lot of killing since getting out here.

She was attached to her husband's team for now, as extra combat support. Until Minato got out on the field again from whatever he was doing, then she would be his combat partner for the rest of the time they were out here.

Shikaku had long ago worked that possibility into his team's tactics, and Natsumi had been flattered that her husband had taken into consideration. That she might end up as their fourth team member sometime in the future. He had flat out refused another leading jōnin when the team lost their last one, but had taken her skills into account as a fourth team member anyways.

Shinobi methods of showing care and devotion were a bit odd, but it worked for them.

Natsumi was about to take a bite out of her completely bland ration bar, nutritious or not they were more like cardboard flavored jerky than anything, when something happened to those Kumo-nin the team had been trying to draw out.

That something was Minato and Kushina.

The assassin idly decided chakra chains were more cheat worthy than her kinjutsu. That was so not fair.

"Finally. We were getting bored trying to draw them into attacking us." Natsumi just discarded the remains of her ration bar into the fire now that someone could go hunting. "What took you two so long?"

Minato jerked his kunai out of one of the shinobi's neck, wrinkling his nose at the blood that dripped onto him even after the man was dead. "We had some trouble getting back here. Ran into a combat team trying to head far enough in to hit a village."

"I take it that is where Sakumo-sama and Jiraiya-sama are now?" Shikaku asked, getting up to help dispose of the corpses. He didn't have to keep a grip on the shadows anymore, leaving him more range of movement than he had before.

"Yeah." Kushina ripped her chains out of the throats of her two ninjas, letting the chakra constructs dissolve into nothing once the most amount of damage was done. "They'll be along tomorrow."

Minato gave his body over to Chouza to handle, ducking past the taijutsu specialist to address his sempai. "So how is the situation out here?"

"What situation? There isn't one." Natsumi remarked bitterly, flicking a hand to the north to include the entirety of the battle zone. "It's just going to be a back and forth tug-of-war between us and Kumo over two separate countries until someone starts being able to push."

Her kouhai just blinked. "Then let's push. How far do you think we can get before Cloud panics and sends someone to try and kill us?"

The assassin thought that over. "An obvious distraction?"

"If we set up behind Lightning's boundary, and give them something to attack, they won't be able to hit as hard here." The fūinjutsu user calmly proposed. "You and I, sempai, can get us out of there before the going gets really rough. So, let's draw attention."

Shikaku stared hard at Minato. "That's going to be bloody."

Natsumi shrugged idly. "Better them than us."

Kushina puzzled over it a few more moments. "Well, it's _something_. You would have to set up fall back points on your way out."

"Are we waiting for Jiraiya-sama and Sakumo-sama?" Shikaku asked the rest of them.

"Someone would need to know and coordinate back here with the hime." Natsumi reminded him, flexing her fingers to Summon Kenta. "Minato, let sensei know and I'll send someone to Hiruzen-sama just to check in."

(ooo000ooo)

A day long battle on the run… was not as impressive to live through as it was to hear about.

Natsumi slipped into another Cloud-nin's guard and sliced his throat open, ducking under the retaliation raiton jutsu by kunoichi and letting Kenta bite her throat open.

Now that they were dead, the assassin used the still falling backward shinobi of the pair to vault over their teammates and keep up with Minato's Toad led charge straight through the next group of ninja in their way.

She paused only long enough to inhale and spit a water bullet hard enough to snap a neck to keep Inoichi's back from being stabbed.

Then had to duck a doton jutsu from taking her own head before Chouza could smash the ninjutsu user into pulp with one fist and clear out the rest of the opposition with a sweep of his staff.

They both had to jump out of the crater the giant-sized Akimichi left behind when the ground stopped shaking.

The group had gotten a mile into Frost Country before Cloud responded specifically to the mad dash. Apparently by spreading the word fast and then throwing everyone out near the borders at them. The longer the group stalled fighting off enemies, the more that could catch up to them. Leaving them a bit of trouble in keeping enough hiraishin kunai planted to ensure a sure escape.

Natsumi used her Yin Release Illusions, Minato used other bodies. One of them had to have succeeded, even if a few of the kunai had been found by now.

The assassin mentally promised her kouhai to pick up some more of the three-pronged kunai for him. They really were damn useful. Even if he did have a bad habit of sticking a seal everywhere he went.

The plan was to run until evening, stop somewhere to regroup, and use Minato's Flying Thunder God technique to escape. Natsumi was starting to wonder if that regroup part of the plan was really possible.

She slid under another oversized weapon, this one that looked to be made up of chakra and rock, and flicked out her katana's tip to attempt to cut open the man's throat. She didn't blink when she failed to connect, just left the shinobi to Kenta's claws and jaw and rolled with her swing to barrel point first into the other shinobi trying to position himself for a ninjutsu. Natsumi had to spin away from yet another jutsu almost as soon as her katana sunk into the ninja's chest, but Shikaku's shadow pierced that other shinobi through the chest and Kenta finished clawing out the first ninja's throat.

"You're lagging, Natsu."

The assassin kissed him on the cheek, flicking a brace of senbon at the kunoichi trying to sneak up on her husband. "I don't think we're going to be able to stop, Shika."

He thought that over and hummed, eyes flickering over the number of shinobi trying to catch up with them and where his teammates were. "Tell Minato, then come back and grab me."

The Nara clan head crouched down, concentrating on the lengthening shadows under him. A Nara controlling a mass of shadows was really freaky to watch, but Natsumi didn't have the time to admire her husband's skill.

She instead focused on the tang of her blood laced chakra Minato carried with him, and tugged that in her mind as she stepped forward.

Using the hiraishin was a bit like blacking out for a moment. You were somewhere, then you were somewhere else a second later. A bit jarring, but Minato and Natsumi had been doing it for years.

"Kouhai, we're not going to be able to regroup. Shika said to start the retreat."

Her blond almost-brother nodded once sharply, flexing his chakra to both call Inoichi and a hopefully less giant-like Chouza to him and dismiss his Toads.

Natsumi left him to it and stepped backwards, back to the kunai she dropped next to Shikaku before stepping forward.

Right into her husband's black, shadowy trap.

Shadows didn't have a feel to them besides pressure and force, but they did seem to be slightly chilly against skin. Maybe it was just Natsumi's mind, thinking things in shadow were cooler than things in the sunlight so her husband's shadows had to be cool. Either way, it was chilly to her.

Natsumi slid slowly through them, taking care to coat her skin in her own chakra so Shikaku knew it was her. It was tricky for him to allow her through and not let his shadows snap her up, but she had faith he could do it as long as she moved slowly enough for him to predict her movements.

He had been a bit nervous the first few times they tried it, but was pretty confident now that he could do it.

She only paused to ensure that kunoichi she riddled with senbon was really dead and not faking, and given the jerk she got the kunoichi had been faking.

Good try, but not enough to make Natsumi forget about her.

She padded to her husband's side slowly, flicking her blade at Kenta in a pattern to inform the big cat what was going on now.

"On three, Shika."

Natsumi curled her fingers into the neck of his flak jacket, leaving the arm loose for when he stood upright.

Shikaku loosened his hold on the shadows and stood up.

She barreled them to the next hiraishin seal in the blink of an eye before the thrown kunai could reach them, flicking to the next and the one after as soon as she could.

The two of them got to the end of the chain about the same time as Minato and his two, tumbling into a pile on the frosted ground as they skidded to a halt.

"Ugg… remind me never to do that again." Natsumi just lay there, feeling the sting of exhaustion, some bruises, and a few cuts she had ignored and the vertigo that came with extensive use of the hiraishin.

Minato groaned somewhere above her head. "That… was a little worse than I thought it would be."

"How… do… you… do… that?" Chouza huffed from her left.

"I don't care to know!" Inoichi protested vehemently from somewhere beyond the Akimichi clan head. "Never the _fuck_ again."

Shikaku grunted under her, shaking Natsumi enough she whimpered with the movement. "Shit, sorry Natsu."

She cracked an eye open, and spotted Jiraiya's grin. "Shut up, sensei. And leave us to our misery."

"I didn't say anything." The white haired sannin denied cheerfully to the sound of Kushina's giggles. "But did you have a nice run?"

"Oh shut it, you letch." Tsunade told her only other teammate, a wry smirk on her face. "Motion sickness, probably. Added to whatever they ran into out there and some chakra exhaustion. Take them back to the rear, and stick them with a medic's camp for a few days."

Sakumo grabbed Natsumi, Jiraiya picked up Minato, Tsunade heaved a thinning Chouza to his feet, and two other jōnin the assassin didn't know picked up Shikaku and Inoichi.

(ooo000ooo)

It was… a bit disgusting to watch an Akimichi eat after using one of their clan's Baika no Jutsus.

That poor, poor deer… and boar and the two bears before that…so far at least.

Natsumi was wondering when, exactly, Chouza was going to stop eating the pine forests around them.

"It's impolite to stare."

"I'm not staring, I'm admiring. That's a lot of food in little time." Natsumi protested lightly, turning to grin at her husband. "Poor Momo-chan, he's going to come home and eat _her_ out of house and home."

Shikaku's mouth twitched upward at the corners. "That's why the Akimichi clan has restaurants, wife mine. They clear one out each time they come back from the fighting."

The medics were almost ready to let them go, they just wanted Chouza's metabolism to stabilize first.

Minato had left already, taking off under Tsunade's eagle eye for some kind of fūinjutsu effort he was doing with Kushina back on the Hot Water/Frost border.

Damn lucky blonds.

"Heh, sneaky. So, the rest of the village pretty much pays them to keep up with their appetites?"

"Just about." The shadow master agreed easily, lazily stretching out no longer sore muscles. "Has Kenta gotten back yet?"

The assassin stretched out her legs as well, checking to see if any of the cuts or bruises she had come into the medic's camp in Hot Water were still with her. "I talked to Jin last night. Kenta's back in their realm, exhausted but alright."

"Your cat also lead the rest of the Kumo-nin on a merry chase through a good part of Lightning, neko-chan." Sakumo had snuck up behind the two, smirking at the Leopard Summoner's start of surprise. "The farthest battle lines have been moved about four miles in, out of Frost Country and firmly into Lightning."

Natsumi's eyebrows rose sharply at that bit of news. "Damn, did we really get that far? I thought we were aiming for the edge of Frost's border to stop at?"

"Pretty much. We did have to clear out a few pockets of Cloud-nin here and there, but the supposed 'advance combat team' we sent out into Lightning proper drew more attention than we guessed." Her old taicho took a seat on her little recovery cot, smirking at her expression. "The Illusion you put on your feline drew even more attention, and Kenta did the rest of the drawing out another mile or so back."

"Well, if you think about it," Shikaku drawled after a beat, "we pretty much ran the whole way until late afternoon. Given how far a shinobi can go in one day, running flat out, it's not that surprising we got a good few good miles past our goal even if we were fighting for most of that time."

\V/

Gai sniffed, knuckling the tears escaping his eyes away.

Hiroshi-jii-sama hadn't lived long enough for their sensei to come home.

Koichi was at a bit of a loss for what he was supposed to say or do. Ibiki had half an idea, from when his own father had failed to return from a mission.

The infiltrator said nothing, but kept a hand on their teammate's shoulder through the whole funeral. Koichi had followed suite, making sure he was always within arm's reach to their team's combat specialist.

Tsume-sempai had let the team deal with it in their own way, telling them to take a week off then come back for further training.

Natsumi-sensei had apparently made all the arrangements for the funeral with Hiroshi-jii-sama's help, making sure that if the worst happened Gai wouldn't have to worry over it. Which had been pretty awesome to learn before they even started to worry about how to do it all, but now it happened and the team didn't know what would happen to Gai.

A set of footsteps behind them told the three of them a civilian was walking up, so Koichi turned to see who it was.

The pregnant woman smiled sadly at them. "Hello, Team Nine. I take it the young man in the middle is Gai-kun?"

That got even the taijutsu user's attention, and the genin turned around to see who it was. "Yes ma'am. Who are you?"

"I am Hatake Eri, Natsumi-chan's sort of kaa-san."

"How can someone have a sort of kaa-san?" Ibiki asked bluntly, suspiciously eyeing the woman.

She just smirked at him. "Ninja legalities. Orphaned shinobi are the wards of their jōnin-sensei or ninja master until the age of sixteen. Natsumi-chan started learning kenjutsu under my husband at thirteen, but married her husband before she broke off that legal tie. So she is still technically a daughter of my clan."

Koichi ran his head through all the legal stuff he had learned living in or around the Hokage's Tower, recalled the relevant bits and had to huff in surprise. "That would make Gai-kun… a Nara now?"

"By technicality, yes." Eri confirmed with a small smile. "Also a grandson of the Hatake clan head, my husband, and of Jiraiya of the Sannin. Then the great grandson of the Hokage, and also your grandnephew… I think, Koichi-kun."

The scout blinked.

Ibiki snorted back a laugh.

"And Komushi-kun's brother by technicality, since he was younger than sixteen when he started, had already been orphaned, and still learning under the same Konohagakure jōnin."

The infiltrator blinked in surprise that time.

Koichi tilted his head to the side, considering the woman and her words. Then risked a look at Gai.

The taijutsu user had a fist clenched before him, tears streaming down his face, and a determined expression as he stared at his feet.

"So," the scout turned back to the woman he was sure was Kakashi's mom, still confused, "why are you here?"

Eri-sama's smile turned sad again. "I am here to pick up Gai-kun. He will be living with me until Natsumi-chan is home and can help him figure out what he wants to do for living arrangements. I need a little help because, well… you can see that for yourself."

She waved a hand to include her expanding stomach.

Ibiki eyed her again, then checked on the same thing Koichi just had.

"Yo."

The new voice drew some attention, but the scout already knew who it was. Eri-sama was his mother, after all. "Hey, Kakashi-kun."

The silver haired prodigy blinked slowly at him as he situated himself on a nearby fence post, then checked the other two genin over. "Koichi-kun. So… which one?"

Koichi jerked a thumb to the taijutsu user. "This is Gai-kun."

Kakashi looked the crying genin over again. "Great… Gai-san?"

The tai user jerked his head up to look at the heir of the Hatake clan. "Hai?"

"You'll be helping me take care of kaa-chan." The silver haired trainee told the genin bluntly. "And since I am… your ji-san… sort of, you'll take orders from me until Natsu-nee is home. Got it?"

Gai raised his shaking fist. "I swear to be the best nephew you ever had, Kakashi-san!"

The younger shinobi paused at that, blinking slowly again. "…spare me. You're my only nephew at the moment, and only by technicality."

Ibiki stiffened, but Koichi put a restraining hand on his prickly teammate. He knew what was going on, and was pretty damn grateful to his old academy friend for it.

Gai almost fell over at the deadpan denial of his vow. The taijutsu user gaped a moment, but determination flooded his face after a moment. "I will get you to acknowledge me, Kakashi-ji-san!"

Kakashi blinked once more, tilting his head to the side like a confused dog. "Whatever."

Eri-sama just sighed at them, but there was still a small smile on her lips. "Come along, Gai-kun. We need to move you into the spare bedroom."

Kakashi hung around even as his mother and nephew-by-technicality left, giving Koichi a flat stare once they were out of hearing range. "You owe me."

"We owe Natsumi-sensei." The scout denied, a fond grin lifting his mouth up at the corners. "Thanks anyways, Kakashi-kun."

"He's going to be one of those weird ones, isn't he?" The silver haired shinobi continued as if the older Sarutobi brother hadn't spoken. "He's not going to let it drop. I'm going to have to deal with this for the rest of our _lives_."

"I'm confused. What just happened?" Ibiki demanded of both his teammate and the heir to the Hatake clan.

"Kakashi-kun got Gai-kun to focus on him, not on Hiroshi-jii-sama's death." Koichi informed him, unable to stop grinning even as Kakashi went on another tangent about how Gai was going to pester him until they both died of old age and _sheer irritation_. "Gave him something to do other than grieve, in proving himself to more family he didn't know he had."

"Huh." The infiltrator blinked one last time, giving the silver haired shinobi a flat glare of his own. "Better you than us, kid."

Kakashi stiffened, turning to stare at Ibiki. After a silent moment, the three-year younger shinobi flipped him off and then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Leaving behind a scarecrow dummy flipping Ibiki off with a gloved hand too.

Koichi barked out a laugh. "Good old Kakashi-kun. Damn though… good thing Natsumi-sensei arranged it all beforehand."

Ibiki scowled at where the heir of the Hatake clan had last stood and now what occupied the same place. "I don't think I like him."

"I don't think he likes you much, either."

\V/

Natsumi stared at the bulldog. "His name is Bull?"

"Kakashi-kun's pack is coming along well, isn't it?" Sakumo asked of her proudly, beaming at the young canine that came to waist-height on the kunoichi.

The assassin switched targets and stared at her old ANBU captain. "Yes… but, Bull? Bull the _bulldog?_ Really?"

The large, black dog harrumphed and Natsumi slid away from him warily.

"Okay… Bull is a _fantastic_ name… apparently."

Sakumo coughed to hide a snicker.

The reincarnated soldier eyed him suspiciously. "You know what? Just for that and because I'm tired of being the only cat in the family, I'm teaching Midori-chan to Summon Leopards."

Natsumi darted away from the hand her old ANBU taicho shot out to grab her with. "Hell no you're not, neko-chan. Hatake equals canines. Teach your own gaki your feline ways."

Shikaku sighed as the two started chasing each other around the little dugout camp base, taking the message the dog had in his jaws. "Thank you, Bull. They're a bit caught up, so go take a nap until they're done."

The large bulldog nodded, lumbering over to where Chouza was watching the mini-fight go on.

They were going a bit stir-crazy, with nothing to do besides wait for Kumo to try attacking again and run scouting patrols between posts. After the four-mile blatant rush into them, Cloud had retreated nearly to the mountains in the north to regroup. None of the Leaf ninja out on Lightning border combat duty wanted to chase them up there, seeing as all they were supposed to do was stall Kumo from trying to get into Frost, Hot Water, or Fire Country. This was now their home territory, something none of the Konohagakure shinobi knew well enough to want to risk that.

Shimogakure no Sato didn't care in the slightest, so long as the fighting stopped ripping up their country.

The Leaf forces had solidified their battle lines about two miles away from the old Frost/Lightning border, arranging temporary command posts along a five mile wide stretch of peninsula and entrenching themselves. There were only a few skirmishes going on a mile away to the east, but for the time being there wasn't much of anything going on as Cloud absorbed the consequences of a Leaf jōnin combat team ripping into them with two different Summons species and a giant-sized shinobi in tow.

The plan for Lightning Country was to eat away at their borders the more they fought, until they stopped fighting. At the moment, it seemed to be working.

Seemed being the operative word.

The Intel Sakumo and Natsumi got out of ANBU patrols stated there had been some attempts to route a few of the new guard posts, but that had failed due to poor planning.

Shikaku wondered if anyone had told the old Raikage what had happened yet, or if the old man had finally died. If the Sandaime Raikage had died it would be a pity, he kind of wanted to see how B respond to his wife's flirting back plan.

The Nara clan head shook out the missive, noting the number of letters Kakashi had sealed into his usual update to his father about his mother's pregnancy. Then his eyes fell on the bit about his wife's student and swore.

Natsumi skidded to a halt, even if that meant Sakumo could grab her, and whirled on him. "What?"

"Gai."

"Fuck." The assassin nimbly leapt out of her old ANBU captain's hold and ended up lying over his back to read over his shoulder. "Damn… well… _shit_."

"You planned for that, remember." Shikaku told her firmly, knowing how much she did care for her pack of genin. "He's with Eri-sama now. And apparently has a bit of a fight going on with Kakashi-kun."

"True, but I wanted to be there if… oh."

"Oh what, neko-chan?"

"Oh… poor Kakashi-kun. That's… ha, that's _bad._ "

Sakumo blinked at her then the letter, still confused. "What's bad?"

Shikaku's wife started giggling. She was trying to stifle it, but failing miserably. "Oh… because Gai-kun is _never_ going to let that go. He's… stubborn. Poor, poor Kakashi-kun. You bit off a bit more than you could chew with that…"

Shikaku himself blinked, and looked over what Kakashi had wrote already about Gai. He started to see what she thought was so funny. "Damn… poor gaki."

Kakashi had wrote probably far more than he intended to about Gai and his determination to get acknowledge as a good member of the family.

That really technically didn't exist.

The heir of the Hatake clan stated that it had started harmlessly enough, with extra chores and a few other things around the house. But when Kakashi refused to admit any relation to his technically older sister for her newly orphaned genin student, Gai took it up a level. He was now trying to prove he was a better member of the family than Kakashi.

The silver haired brat his wife loved so hadn't been amused at that.

It seemed a bit of a rivalry had been born from that incident.

Shikaku started snickering, handing the letter off to the man it had been intended for. "Really, poor Kakashi-kun."

Sakumo scanned the missive quickly, blinked, and read it again a bit more slowly. "Your student's a bit _weird_ , neko-chan."

Natsumi gave up and started giggling. "You have no idea how right you are, taicho."

\V/

"Sensei's coming home?" Koichi asked Gai excitedly.

The tai user nodded. "Kakashi-ji-san said so. They'll come back for about two weeks, then go off to the Land of Earth for another three months."

"You might want to stop calling Kakashi-san that, Gai-kun." Ibiki told their third teammate bluntly, stabbing his chopsticks into his food. "I don't think he really likes it."

The scout thought about that news, wondering if it had anything else to do with the other bits filtered back to the village from that war front. "Hey, do you think she had anything to do with the suicide run that pushed Kumo back through two countries?"

"Sensei's husband's team was there from what I heard," the infiltrator allowed, stirring his bento's rice absently, "so it stands to reason she might have had something to do with it. I didn't hear of any casualties from that."

"What are you gakis barking about?" Tsume-sempai stopped by them, her customary snarl on her face.

"We were wondering if sensei had anything to do with the push into Lightning a month ago." Koichi told the Inuzuka that had stepped in as their team leader.

"Course she did. She and Minato were the escape plan." The jōnin took a seat at their table, waving away a waitress before the woman could try to take her order or make a fuss about the dog leaning up against her leg.

Ibiki took a bite out of his mother's home cooked lunch, considering their temporary jōnin thoughtfully. "Do you know exactly when Natsumi-sensei will be back?"

Tsume-sempai scratched at her cheek as she thought. "Mmm… orders just went out, might be a week. Probably sooner than that, if things really are as bad as I heard."

Gai whirled around fully, nearly knocking Koichi off his chair. "Is there a lot of fighting where sensei is?"

"Naw. Not enough, really." Tsume-sempai wave a clawed hand at them, dismissing the thought of too much combat. "Kumo's probably licking their wounds before trying something else. But that's hard, keeping up battlefield awareness and simply doing guard duty at the same time."

The scout straightened himself, giving the tai user a short glare for hitting him. "So what? Are they just sitting there?"

"As well as fending off a few attacks here and there, but in a nut shell? Yeah."

"Why?" Ibiki demanded irritably. "Why not press on fighting?"

"Cause we don't want to really dig into it with Kumo until the Iwa situation is done." The Inuzuka snarled into his face. "Or we'll be pressing two different fronts at the same time, and we'll be losing a lot more shinobi that way. For the moment, we're just pressing the _idea_ that we can do worse to them than bottle them up to the border of Hot Water. Kumo still has the waterways, they can get around that blockage we've got between Frost and Lightning. But it's got to be annoying, and every time Kumo presses we'll move that up another mile into their country."

The infiltrator smirked hearing that. "Nice."

Koichi rolled his eyes at his teammate. "So, sensei will be home in a week right?"

"Yes." Tsume-sempai confirmed blandly.

"Then maybe we should be home to greet her."

The jōnin blinked, and looked around the little traveler's inn they were eating lunch at. "Probably. But we're still a bit away from completing the mission and being able to head back."

Gai struck a thinking pose. "What about if we run back to Konohagakure? Using the trees?"

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Tsume-sempai asked wryly, scratching Kuromaru's ears lightly. "You can't say you've never done it if we do, and that means it'll be the method of travel you'll be noted to work with. You'll get a decreasing amount of time to ensure mission success from here on out, until they only give you enough time to follow the merchants wherever and run like a demon home."

The three genin looked at each other. Ibiki shrugged, Gai nodded firmly, and Koichi just ended up shrugging too.

"Sure."

\V/

Natsumi tried hard not to smirk as Kakashi gripped the front of her jōnin flak vest and whined in her face.

"Make it stop, make it stop, _make it stop!_ "

The assassin coughed to cover a snicker and cleared her throat before trying to talk. "Kashi-chan, did you run into a bit of trouble?"

Her newly-turned-nine little brother paused and gave her a nasty glare. "I did a _good_ thing. I helped your students out a bit. You're supposed to be proud and _pleased with me_ , Natsu-nee. _Not_ enjoying my misery."

Natsumi pretended to think about that.

"Natsu-nee! Help me, _please!_ "

The kunoichi started snickering, she really couldn't help it. "Well… you didn't investigate your target very well, did you?"

Kakashi slumped to the floor of the Hatake dojo. "No. Gai-san's a bit… _weirder_ than I accounted for."

"He never forgets, just so you know." Natsumi told him as she sat down, still smirking. "And yes, although he's a bit weird he will uphold anything he swears to do. No matter how strange or weird it may be."

"So avoidance isn't going to help me. Great." The silver haired son of her old ANBU captain concluded grimly.

The moment the assassin had returned for their section's break from the fighting until they left again for Earth, Natsumi had swept Gai off to figure out what he wanted to do now. The little tai user on Natsumi's genin team had solemnly thanked Eri and Sakumo for housing him, swore to Kakashi's face that he would continue their little struggle, but decided in the end to get a genin standard apartment for the rest of his time as a genin. Kakashi had taken that as the end of it all, but Gai wasn't letting it drop even now that they weren't living together.

Every time Gai saw Kakashi the taijutsu specialist tried to pick up whatever their argument was on. The heir of the Hatake clan had taken to avoiding anything smacking of Gai for the moment.

Unfortunately for him, Gai knew where Kakashi usually was most days.

"So… we need to shift Gai-kun off his fixation of family." Natsumi played with Kakashi's spiky hair, tugging a lock here and there. "And it might get less annoying. But… I don't think it will ever go away."

The prodigy slumped backwards, dramatically covering his eyes with an arm. "Gai-san's going to haunt me until we both are old and grey, I just know it."

"You're already grey."

"It's _silver_ , Natsu-nee." Kakashi uncovered his face for a moment to glare. "Not _grey_."

"I've heard that excuse so many times it no longer holds water for me."

The not-even-ten-year-old flailed around a bit. "Whatever! Just… make Gai-san stop calling me _'ji-san'!_ "

"Okay, I _might_ have an idea…"

(ooo000ooo)

Kakashi blinked when Gai pointed a finger in his face dramatically as soon as he showed up.

"Kakashi-ji-san! I-"

"You know what?" The silver haired prodigy interrupted blandly. "I don't think I want a nephew. I want a rival. I think you might be a good one."

Gai actually stopped talking and stared at him.

Kakashi blinked again.

"Then I will be the best rival you ever had, Kakashi-san!" Gai swore loudly, shaking one clenched fist between them. "I will be your Eternal Rival, from this moment on!"

"Right… I challenge you to run around Konohagakure without stopping."

The taijutsu specialist bolted off, yelling all the way about how he was going to prove himself as Kakashi-san's Eternal Rival.

The heir of the Hatake clan stared at the dust cloud that remained behind Gai. "Well… that was easier than I thought it would be."

"Damn… that had been funny."

Koichi elbowed his teammate in the ribs. "Nice one, Kakashi-kun. But… you do know what you started, right?"

"Unfortunately." The nine-year-old confirmed in a deadpan. "But at least it got him to stop calling me 'ji-san'."

"Don't like feeling your age, old man?" Ibiki snarked wickedly, grinning toothily in his face.

"It's _silver_ , teme." Kakashi shot back, irritated. "My hair color is _silver_. Naturally. And I'm not even _ten_ yet! So shove it."

"How did you think of this?" Koichi interrupted the two of them, not really all that interested in listening to the two argue yet again.

"Natsu-nee thought of it, honestly." The Hatake heir pointedly ignored the surly infiltrator he didn't like, focusing on the one member of Team Nine he could stand. "She gave me a couple options, but said since I did trip into it like an idiot… I have to live with it."

The scout nodded. "Sounds like sensei."

"My nee-chan can be awesome sometimes… then she gets mean and I remember how sadistic she can be." Kakashi nodded in return, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting slightly behind a half-face mask.

"Well… I wish you luck with this, Kakashi-kun." Koichi turned to his friend with a smirk. "But like Ibiki-kun said, better you than us."

He got a deadpan stare in return for that. "Thank you, Koichi-kun. I can just _feel_ the sympathy pouring off you and your words."

(ooo000ooo)

"Katon: _Endan!_ "

Natsumi eyed Ibiki's target after the fire bullet impacted, noting how much had been blown apart and how much was just burning. "Nice. But the thing you need to be aware of, Ibiki-kun, is how much of the surroundings can be set alight if you use katon jutsus. Starting a forest fire just to kill one target won't be much help to you, because that is hazardous to the team too."

Her little infiltrator eyed his own target too, eyes flickering to the still burning bits drifting on the breeze. "Yes, sensei."

"My turn!" Koichi spun to the next target, calmly going through the three hand seals needed to ensure he didn't mess it up. "Doton: _Retsudo Tenshō!_ "

The Earth Release: Tearing Earth Turning Palm jutsu sucked the target dummy into the ground, crushing it to sawdust and straw bits as it sank.

Natsumi grimaced, watching it happen. That had been the technique to take Ito's leg then, giving the similarities to the jutsu Orochimaru used against her ANBU team. A _C-rank_ earth jutsu had almost killed her, in the hands of a sannin.

That… would have been embarrassing.

"Damn… that's nasty." The assassin drew her attention back to the present, still eyeing the broken up ground that resulted of the jutsu. "Koichi-kun, you also need to keep in mind what effects your actions have to the terrain. That's now all unstable and loose, an unwary step there might snag one of your feet at a bad moment."

The scout nodded to that bit of news. "Yes, sensei."

Natsumi turned around to Gai. "I know you don't want an elemental affinity, Gai-kun, so show me what weapons you've tried and have considered learning."

Her last genin scrambled around in his pockets for the sealing scroll she had left him, and unsealed a bō, naginata, nunchaku, and a bow.

The assassin raised an eyebrow at the bow. "Kyūdō? Interesting choice. Staffs are pretty common around the village, and I think I can help with the naginata's bladed end if you want. The nunchaku I don't know how to use, unfortunately."

"I don't think I like the naginata, sensei." Gai set the bladed staff weapon to the side. "It is…"

"Uncomfortable?" Natsumi asked wryly, picking up the bow. "I can see that. So scrap that idea."

The assassin had never held a bow before in her life… but Fiona had. It hadn't come to anything, just archery practice the soldier had done during her childhood and hadn't done for about fifteen years before her death.

Natsumi fiddled with it a bit, checking the string and how tight it was. Then dug around for the arrow quiver in the scroll.

She probably had bad habits any true archer would cringe at to see, but her eye hadn't degraded any.

Target practice was target practice. Rifle or kunai, it was still accuracy training.

The arrow thunked into the last target, taking it's straw head off with the force behind the chakra assisted draw.

"Kyūdō isn't a bad choice for long range, Gai-kun." The assassin told her student calmly, picking out another of the arrows she sunk into the ground head first for easy reach. "But… I'm not a master at it. Amateur, if anything."

She still shot five arrows into the straw target set up anyways, none of them more than two inches off of a lethal point on the burlap mockup of a human.

Eh… she needed more practice.

"Do you really want to learn?"

Gai gulped, eyeing the arrow riddled target. "I… no, sensei."

Her taijutsu user was a bit leery around blades. Natsumi didn't know what had caused that, but Gai tended to avoid anything sharp out of unease. Which had been why she was unsurprised to see what weapons he wanted to learn. The bō was nothing more than a thicker quarterstaff, and nunchaku were just chained together sticks.

"For long range, instead of a bow, I would suggest a kusari fundo-manriki."

Gai scanned through the kanji that marked each weapon and found the right one, unsealing a long length of chain with heavy weights at both end.

Natsumi smirked at his surprised and pleased playing with the chain. That unease might just be something Gai had against using blades on humans, or something that happened long ago. Either way, it was something the assassin could work around, and had no problem doing so. "Better?"

"Hai, sensei."

"So," she drew his attention back to her, "the nunchaku and taijutsu for close range fighting, the bō for mid, and this one for long. You're going to need to put in a lot of time for practice, since you do tend to eschew kunai, razor wire, and shuriken. I will let you get away with that, as long as you using these are better than what you can do with those. Understand?"

Gai nodded firmly.

"Pity." Koichi spoke up, still eyeing the arrow riddled target. "That was pretty cool, sensei."

"Kyūdō is more of a samurai skill than a shinobi one." Natsumi told her team with a shrug as she set the bow down. "I haven't done it… ever, but still a useful skill to know the basics of."

"Wait…" Ibiki turned to her, confusion stamped on his face. "You mean this is the first time you've picked up a bow, sensei?"

"Well…" Technically, that was true. "Yeah."

Her genin looked at the target full of arrows, then back at her.

"Remind me not to piss you off, Natsumi-sensei." Koichi warily edged away from the last remaining target.

Natsumi snorted. "Oh, go clean the field up."

"What about you, sensei?" Ibiki asked before his teammates could move. "I thought you said you'd be learning doton with Koichi-kun?"

The assassin arched an eyebrow at him. "Do you want to see what I can do?"

"Yes!" Kochi cheered, and even Gai looked interested.

She looked at each of them, and shrugged as she walked over to the last target.

"Fine. Doton: Domu." Natsumi shoved her blackened, earth hardened hand through the chest of the dummy with ease, fingers pointed and held out straight instead of making a fist for the stability. "Any questions?"

Ibiki eyed the hole she had made warily. "What about suiton?"

The assassin blinked down at him, then had a wicked idea that made her lips curl. "I can do one right now. As a matter of fact, I can do another B-rank one if you would like to see it."

She remembered watching a version of Kakashi use the same jutsu once. Although it was draining to use for her, they were in the village and not in the middle of a fight.

She got three excited nods.

"Alright, get up in the trees. I'm not sure how much control I will have, and I would rather not have to fish you all out of the Naka River."

As the genin scrambled for the branches, Natsumi ran the suiton jutsu through her head just to make sure she knew it. It was freaking impressive to see, but much more of a shock and awe jutsu rather than a combat usable one for her.

Using her own chakra control, she stepped out onto the top of the slow moving river cutting through their usual training field. Getting out to the middle of the body of water, she crouched down and faced the two pitiful remains of the targets her team had taken potshots at.

Then ran her fingers through all forty-four hand seals, just for the control.

"Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu!"

The water she was standing on bubbled, stretching up in four corners around her and twisting into a dragon shape over her head. Her chakra construct then snapped out and bit into the two still standing targets, dragging them back into the river as Natsumi let the jutsu go.

The field was now very wet, but clean of all the straw.

Her genin team slid down from their perches, and Koichi took one step too many in watching the water recede.

He sank into the mud pit that remained of his doton use.

Natsumi sighed as she walked to the riverbank. "Didn't I just say you needed to be careful about that?"

Ibiki ignored his flailing teammate to eye their jōnin-sensei. "Are you okay?"

"I'll never be known as a ninjutsu specialist, Ibiki-kun." Natsumi told the genin frankly. "I don't have the reserves for it. Most kunoichi don't, really. I can do a couple B-ranked jutsus in battle easily enough, and almost constantly use D or C-ranks if I need to, but two B-ranks or even one A-ranked technique take a lot out of me. So I don't use them a lot."

Gai looked between the now calm river and the jōnin, even as he hauled the genin out of the mud. "But, sensei, don't you use Summons?"

"Once or twice a day, at most." The assassin shrugged. "But that has a greater return than any other jutsu I might use. Kenta is a lot more useful than any water bullet I can spit, and he can think independently and take his own actions."

Koichi finally got to stable ground, flicking the sticky mud off of himself. "So… why know one, then?"

"Because I think it's awesome." Natsumi smirked at the perturbed looks she got for that announcement. "And because using more techniques like that helps build chakra reserves. Which moves us nicely into what I wanted to talk to you all about."

Since the ground was wet, the assassin decided not to sit down but lean against one of the trees. Her little pack of genin gathered around, only Koichi slumping to the ground as he was already covered in mud up to his chest.

"You three are about to hit your growth spurts, which is both a good thing and a bad one. Good news, you'll start developing your chakra reserves faster. The more you use jutsus like the ones you've been learning, the more you'll have later on."

Ibiki took the bait. "What's the bad news, sensei?"

"I'll be highly tempted to cut you all off at the knees." Natsumi told them dryly. "I really hate being short."

Koichi laughed weakly, scooting back from the jōnin. "Really?"

"Probably."

"Don't worry, sensei!" Gai struck some kind of pose, holding a thumb up as he grinned at the kunoichi. "You will always be a towering figure in my memories!"

Her infiltrator followed the scout in edging backwards. "What he said."

The assassin smirked wearily. "Don't worry so, I've gotten used to it. Mostly. Now, the more you empty your coils every day, the more chakra you gain the next. It will increase by tiny increments at first, but the amount does stack up. But if you do empty your reserves one day, you won't be able to use any until about afternoon of the next. Plan accordingly, and try to work it in now. Every little bit helps, and putting the effort in now is less stressful on your coils later if you ever decide to expand your reserves."

"What do you mean by less stressful?" Koichi asked, halting his backwards crawl behind the tai user for human shielding.

"Think of it like a balloon. It stretches, it can contain a lot, but it can pop if you're not careful." Natsumi rubbed the side of her nose carefully. "You all are years away from popping, but carefully is the watchword if you try. Any uncomfortable burning sensations should be taken to the medics to solve, and you are not to go beyond the physical shaking that indicates chakra exhaustion. Gai-kun, this is mostly for you. This isn't a physical thing you can just train up to the limit and beyond, it's something that will take years of careful flexing."

"Why?" Ibiki asked, carefully turning over the new information in his head. "Why would we do this at all, if it's so tricky and slow?"

"For the greater jutsus, like my water dragon, you'll need the reserves you'd develop to not only use it but continue fighting afterwards. Summons, kinjutsus, those kinds of things also need deep chakra reserves to be useful."

"Will you teach us to Summon, sensei?" Gai asked excitedly.

Natsumi shrugged. "If you want. It's something I can help you get, but you need the chakra reserves to work with first."

Koichi eyed her, then his fellow teammates. "Sensei… does that mean we are the only ones that can do this right now?"

The assassin blinked, looking down at the scout. "Yeah. I'm too old. My reserves don't replenish as fast as your three's do. It takes me about two or three days to recover from chakra exhaustion now. But I did this myself, a long time ago."

"Is that because you have too much in reserve to build back up, or because of age?"

"A bit of both." Natsumi told Gai, frowning a bit as she tried to phrase how it worked in her mind. "You three are young, flexible. You're about to grow anyways, the damage you'll do will be regenerated because your coils and chakra system are lengthening. I'm more ridged, set in both body and reserves. I've been this height for a few good years now, and I won't grow or need to for the rest of my life. I also have bigger reserves because I did this chakra expanding exercise and I am bigger than the three of you. Chakra production also slows in later years. You three are cranking a lot out because you use more for both training and growing, but I have a set limit and my reserves are deeper than that regeneration."

"Is it that important?"

"For you, Koichi-kun, yes. For what you want to do, it will be a matter of life and death to have that little bit extra on top of what you have." Natsumi told him seriously. "For Gai-kun? Only if he really wants that Summoning Contract and would like to use more ninjutsu than can already. Not so much for Ibiki-kun. With both what he would naturally have and the fūinjutsu I'm teaching him, he doesn't really need more to make a good tokubetsu jōnin."

"But that would be as high as I go, right?" Her surly infiltrator guessed accurately, frowning. "I wouldn't get to full jōnin rank."

"As an infiltrator? No. As a fūinjutsu user? Maybe. There's only about four of us in the village right now, if you don't count Komushi. Five soon, if you want to count Kakashi-kun."

"I'd rather not." Ibiki grumped, scowling.

Natsumi really did wonder what happened between the two of them for such a dislike to pop up, but she'd get it out of her little brother later.

"You have a whole week to decide what you want to do, so think on it a bit. I'll let Tsume know in the end what to do depending on what you all want."

\V/

"A… what?"

"The ANBU agent wore a blank snake mask." Mikoto told the assassin, frowning faintly at the shock Natsumi was showing. "Why is that surprising?"

The reincarnated soldier swallowed uneasily. "Mikoto… do you know why my mask is painted?"

The genjutsu mistress turned to fully face the Nara Lady. "No, why?"

"There were twelve original ANBU agents, when the First Hokage founded the _Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai_." Natsumi sank into one of the Uchiha's kitchen chair, still feeling shaky. "Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Boar. For the twelve zodiac animals. Every ANBU mask now is marked, because only the original twelve members had blank animal masks. An unmarked mask and one of those titles would mean one of those founding members, but the _only living one_ I've ever seen is now retired and out of ANBU completely."

Horse, who now worked in the academy as the on call medic. Ryoko was the only living member of ANBU to have been one of the original twelve and survive it. She was a damn impressive kunoichi, for sure.

"Mikoto, all the blank masks are now _retired_. They're not used anymore, at all."

The matron of the Uchiha clan went stark white. "Someone was impersonating an ANBU agent?"

For fuck's sake, not even the _ANBU General_ was an original member. Natsumi would dearly love to know who had done it, and rip their spine out. Because now someone she didn't know had the report Orochimaru compiled on her kinjutsu and spiritual-heavy chakra nature. The false agent had just politely asked Uchiha Kagami for it, and waltzed away once it was handed over. All because Natsumi was ANBU, nearly everyone knew that.

She trusted her ANBU fellows.

Someone had used that, and gotten something she really didn't want spread about out of the most suspicious clan in Konohagakure no Sato.

"Oh fuck."

"Natsumi, I am so sorry. We didn't know-"

"It's fine."

Mikoto blinked at the short statement. "Natsumi?"

"It's fine. Someone now has my kinjutsu secret, and can now thwart it." The assassin raked a hand through her loose hair. "That's… fine. Not _great_ … but I can work around that…"

Maybe. Probably not, if the master thief behind it was who she thought it was… but at least she knew for sure before getting into that.

Natsumi sighed heavily, shoving that to the side of her mind to refocus on the here and now. "I need you to report the theft, and the ANBU bit so the next Uchiha isn't blindsided by it. I… I need to go talk to Hiruzen-sama and the ANBU General…"

"Of-f course. Natsumi…"

"Mikoto. It's _fine_." The assassin took her friend by the shoulders and shook her lightly. "It's not that important, just… personal to me. I didn't see the blind spot, and I'm sorry for that. I didn't realize the bits and superstitions in ANBU would be relevant for you to know, so I didn't tell you."

The Uchiha kunoichi bit her lip. "But you _trusted_ us with that…"

"And you did it perfectly, but I forgot to cover for the weak spots. It's my fault. ANBU is mine to watch over."

"Natsumi?"

"I'm the only ANBU agent in our little group, after all." Natsumi smirked a bit wearily at her friend. "That would mean I'm the one to deal with if there's an issue."

Mikoto huffed lightly, still worried. "Ever think that maybe to do too much, Natsumi?"

"A time or twice, now." The assassin ranked a hand through her hair again, making new plans to try and solve this issue. "So don't worry so much, Mikoto. It wasn't that important."

"If you're sure."

Natsumi huffed, eyeing the genjutsu mistress. "It'll be fine. No one was hurt, and it's a flaw we found before something of importance was exploited. So… maybe even a good thing."

"You were hurt by it, Natsumi. Don't try to shift me off." Mikoto demanded firmly, recovering her balance after finding out how badly her clan had failed her friend. "You went so white I was concerned you might faint on me. Tell me what is so worrying to you, or I'm going to Inoichi and Minato about it."

The assassin stiffened. That was a low blow.

Given the glare the Uchiha was pulling off in her face, not as low as she was willing to go.

" _Fine_. This means I can't trust my fellow ANBU on sight anymore." The reincarnated soldier bit out. "If someone had the gall to do it to Uchihas, they probably have the balls to try it on me."

Mikoto stared hard, but when the Nara aligned kunoichi just glared back she nodded. "Alright. If you wait a moment, I'll grab Itachi-kun and we'll _all_ go to see Fugaku."

Natsumi blew out the breath she had been holding as the Uchiha matron swept out of the kitchen.

_Fuck you too, Danzō._


	14. Baiting the Trap

_If you take a good look at the afterlives many religions claim to give, apparently neither._

_Both seem to be good methods to scare people with. Either a nightmare of infinitely tormented deaths, or promises of eternal battle for one's life._

* * *

Shikaku was… _pissed_.

Natsumi was using his fondness for her, and a whole lot of chakra control through her feet, to keep him in his spot. She was pretty damn sure if her husband got out of the house, Fugaku would get his face rearranged free of cost.

That would be bad for relations between Konohagakure shinobi clans, at the very least.

The emergency council meeting from hell had just ended, Hiruzen had to toss their asses out just to get the arguments to stop.

Natsumi had pretty much abducted her husband, using Minato's hiraishin seals littered everywhere around Konoha, and refused to let him up now until he calmed down. She was sure Chouza and Inoichi wouldn't do much without Shikaku yet, seeing as it was the Nara clan that was wronged by the theft. However the assassin wasn't totally certain of that, and she couldn't let Shikaku go until she knew he was thinking clearly again.

Instead the ghost eyed kunoichi just clung stubbornly to her husband, ignoring everything he was saying until he started talking to her and not just being loudly mean to the absent Uchiha clan head. And hoping dearly that the floorboards held up to the pressure she was putting on them.

Natsumi was at a bit of a loss over the whole thing.

Yes, it was bad someone had stolen information out of the Uchiha clan using a little-known custom in ANBU to evade both Uchiha suspicion and ANBU scrutiny. She wasn't entirely sure _why_ Shikaku had exploded like that at Fugaku, but it could be something he would tell her once he calmed down.

The report stolen didn't have much useful on her kinjutsu for anyone trying to learn it. It did have a lot on her chakra nature, what Orochimaru had postulated as how she could use it, and what would probably stop it. Natsumi dearly hoped this wouldn't mean another, but older, Naomi.

She didn't know what was making Shikaku so angry, so until she did she wasn't letting go.

She had to do damage control, apparently, starting with her husband.

"…damn it all, Natsu! Are you _listening to me?_ "

"Not really." The assassin lifted her head to see what expression her husband had right now. "Have you calmed down yet?"

"Calm?" Shikaku's hands clamped down harder as he spoke through gritted teeth, and she was pretty sure she would be getting bruises on her hips again. "Why the hell should I be _calm?_ Natsu, someone stole your _kinjutsu!_ "

"No, they didn't." Natsumi put her head down again, because she really didn't like it when he was mad at her. "That stupid report was mostly about my chakra nature. It now means someone can use that to find Orochimaru's method of thwarting my kinjutsu, but even he couldn't use it."

The back under her fingertips flexed, and he rumbled a growl at her. "Natsu, something you left with the Uchihas in good faith was stolen from them. On your kinjutsu. Without even a _fucking_ question asked about _why!_ "

"And I pretty damn certain even _our_ clan wouldn't have asked!" She bit back. Natsumi really didn't like it when he was mad at her, and it was stressing her out. "Yes, it's a flaw in the security layout of the village. We can see that now. Why the _hell_ did you jump down Fugaku's throat about it?"

Shikaku suddenly gripped her ankles and disrupted the chakra holding her feet down as he surged forward to his knees, spilling her off his lap and onto the floor. Now that she couldn't hide under his chin, she could see exactly how angry he was. "Because it's the bloody _Uchiha clan_. If anyone in the _fucking_ village should've caught that, it should've been them!"

"Shika, I'm not sure if you noticed, but ANBU doesn't talk to clans. ANBU doesn't like to talk _at all._ " Natsumi dug her sharp nails into the back of his jacket, tightening her grip on him. "If ANBU didn't tell anyone about our _stupid_ little traditions, how are they supposed to know? Fugaku's not _telepathic!_ He won't suddenly know all the _freaking reasons_ that shouldn't have happened _before_ it happened!"

He snarled at that, but did at least pause enough that she was hopeful that he was now thinking a little.

"Worst case scenario, Iwa or Kumo will suddenly know how to disrupt my kinjutsu." She was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen, but she wouldn't rule it out yet. "Best case, it really was some idiot of a rookie that fucked that up. Who we can't find at the moment. But there isn't a poison user without a title right now, and our rookies are given Noh masks if they don't have a specialty in mind when they join. So yes, someone can now figure out how to get around my kinjutsu without my seals. But the Uchiha clan wasn't completely at fault here, so I would like to know why you're so mad."

"Because they're the _Military Police_. We leave guarding the civilians mostly to _them_." Shikaku stressed rather pointedly. "If they can't do it, then the whole village is in danger."

"Okay, I _get_ that." Natsumi let go of her death grip on the back of his jacket to loop her arms around his neck. "Bad Uchiha. But that was way too personal, what you did. Why?"

"Because that kinjutsu is what you use to keep yourself alive, Natsu! Orochimaru could only do so much damage to you _because_ he got around it."

Oh… fuck nuts.

The assassin suddenly release her husband to rub her face. "Shika… the kinjutsu was never going to be a permanent thing. It's damn useful, yes. But because it's so damn useful, the village would probably like me to pass it on to someone. In order to do that, we need to know how it works. If we know how it works, we know how to thwart it. That's why I put in so many hours with taicho learning kenjutsu, and why I put in so much effort to learn fūinjutsu. So when incidents happen when I can't use it, like me running into Orochimaru, I wouldn't be totally useless without it."

Shikaku pulled her arms away to see her face. "I like you being able to use the kinjutsu, Natsu. I _personally_ prefer the idea of passing it on to any kids we have and not to other clans or the whole village. Because it makes it so much easier to believe you're coming home after your ANBU missions for me. I don't like that someone was able to walk into the Uchiha compound and walk out with the damn report on it without a question asked! Is it any wonder why I'm mad at Fugaku?"

"It wasn't even him! If anyone, you should be mad at Kagami-sama! He's the one that we agreed would hold on to it!"

"His clan, his responsibility." Her husband picked them both up off the floor now that he had the leverage to do so, pulling her up by both her arms and her legs wrapped around his waist. "As the heads of shinobi clans, we're responsible for all the members and what they do. Why do you think Fugaku didn't argue back when I got in his face?"

That had been a little confusing, normally the prickly head of the Uchiha clan liked to argue just for the practice.

Natsumi huffed irritably. "Okay, whatever. Male stuff, got it. Are you less pissed off now?"

"Sure."

"So… where are we going?"

"I'm going to tie you to the bed."

Natsumi blinked. "Awesome… but, _why?_ "

"Because I'm pretty sure the house is the safest place in Konohagakure at the moment, given your paranoid fūinjutsu script work all over it and the one previous dead body that resulted from it."

She thought about that as he scaled the stairs. "On one hand, _kinky_. On the other, it happened a week ago and I'm pretty sure I'm not in any danger… so, that's kind of annoying."

"Deal with it for today, at least." Shikaku freed one hand long enough to open their bedroom door. "Until we have somewhere to look for the infiltrator. Please."

"…can I get some haggling in with this plea bargain?"

He paused, looking down at her with a raised eyebrow.

"What? We had a fight, and the last time we were in the hospital and they kinda look down on makeup sex as, you know, unhygienic." Natsumi pouted up at him, batting her lashes. "And you promised to tie me up, you _cannot_ be surprised where my head went."

Shikaku gave a slightly strangled laugh, but just kissed her forehead and dropped her on the bed. "Later, now stay."

"I'm not the _canine_ in the family! _Just_ so you know!" She shouted at his back just before the door closed.

Now alone, the assassin looked around their bedroom. She didn't really want to spend the whole day indoors, but… Shikaku had asked nicely at least. Even if she thought it was stupid to confine her into one place for something that happened a little while ago, she'd humor him and find something to do in the house.

Natsumi could start her damage control tomorrow.

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku pinned Fugaku against the wall in the Sarutobi clan head's living room with one arm. "You have my wife to thank for me not rearranging your face. But if you don't have a lead on the fucking infiltrator before we come back from Earth, I'll do it anyways. Got it?"

The Chief of Police grit his teeth together, but gave a short nod. "Understood."

The shadow master eyed him, but let him go and looked around at the rest of the clan heads and various shinobi that decided doing this without the full village council was better than trying with them. "Where are we?"

"Sakumo-sama took Tsume, Shibi, Hiashi, and a few other Hunter-nin to the Uchiha compound. Hiruzen-sama is talking to the ANBU General about what they want to do about this." Minato informed him, still frowning at the whole situation. The fūinjutsu user hadn't lost that expression since hearing what had happened just before their section returned from Lightning. "We're trying to decide how to cover for this, so it won't happen again. Where is my sempai?"

"Hopefully? Still at home." Shikaku really should've tied her up, but as an ANBU captain there wasn't much that would impede her if she wanted out… and really tying her to the bed would have delayed him more than he wanted with this issue to deal with. Even if the idea was still tempting. "And behind those damned seals of hers."

"So…" Kushina waited a beat to ensure the Nara was really less pissed off than when Natsumi practically abducted him. "What was in that report stolen from the Uchiha clan?"

"To be bluntly honest, not much other than an in-depth look at Natsumi's chakra nature and a few educated guesses on how she did the kinjutsu." Shikaku told her blandly, still scowling. "I only skimmed the damned thing to ensure that was it."

Fugaku glared back at the kunoichi when she looked at him. "I decided not to rely on a traitor's work for our own progress in studying the kinjutsu. Natsumi agreed. So we left it, unopened, in elder Kagami-sama's hands."

The jinchūriki blinked at them both, then figured that they wouldn't snap at her just because and changed the subject. "Okay. So… don't you think Natsumi will be a bit annoyed at being left at home while we look?"

"She is annoyed. But she didn't protest, just cracked some perverted then weak jokes and left it at that." The Nara clan head slumped onto one of the Hokage's couches, scowling.

"Was that the first place she took you to?" Inoichi asked as he walked into the Sarutobi clan head's living room.

"Yeah… why?"

The Head Interrogator hummed a moment. "Then… I can assume Natsumi still feels safe in Konohagakure, more specifically in her home. If that's affected by those paranoid seals of hers, I can't say. If she needs to be prompted to get out of the house, then…"

"She'll get out of the house on her own." Minato declared firmly, shaking his head at the idea as he positioned a basic map of the village on the table moved into the room for that purpose. "There's both the Hatake clan and her genin team she likes to check up on. And that Suna-nin. Sempai has way too many things to do for her to just sit around one place for long."

Inoichi grimaced at his back. "Which makes it harder for me to judge if she is bothered by the theft or not. Have I ever told you how annoying it is for me to try and evaluate Natsumi's state of mind?"

"Natsumi almost fainted." Mikoto quietly spoke up from her husband's side. "When she heard at first. She did have to take a seat after I told her. It took her a few good moments to pull herself back together and decide what had to be done."

The mind walker eyed her intently. "Did she say anything about it?"

"That it was _'fine'_." The genjutsu mistress frowned faintly, recalling the rather strange conversation that happened after her personal shock wore off. "I almost thought she was going a bit hysterical as she hypothesized what it meant to her, but she shook it off and laid out what we had to do next and… a few other things. That ANBU was hers to watch, since she's the only one in our little group that was a member. And… while she was hurt by it, it was more of a personal one than anything else."

"And?" Inoichi prompted after a moment.

"She admitted that maybe she was doing too much. She seemed… very fatigued near the end."

Shikaku stiffened, hearing that. Even Chouza stopped eating to stare at the Uchiha kunoichi for a moment.

Natsumi was nearing fifty years of age, all total, even if she really was only barely twenty-one physically. It wasn't entirely unthinkable that she might be getting tired of life. Mentally, at least.

He turned his head enough to look his best friend in the eye. "Don't even start. Natsu wouldn't have bothered getting involved with her genin team so much if she had anything planned to end herself."

"Everything she plans on usually ends in a few years, Shikaku. Nothing is long term now." Inoichi told him solemnly. "It's a possibility."

"She's still looking forward to starting a family, Inoichi. Maybe her pregnancy is what she's planning on."

The Yamanaka clan head quirked an odd smirk at that suggestion. "So, she knows when I'll finally find a steady girlfriend? I wonder if she'd point her out to me."

"I don't understand why you three are waiting on each other." Minato told the two of them, trying to shift the conversation to something else. "I can understand having a team of kids already set for their future shinobi team build, but that's kind of mean to sempai."

Kushina stomped all over that attempt. "Stop, wait. Seriously? Natsumi wouldn't do that! She can't! She _loves_ the kids, she wouldn't do something like that if it would harm them!"

"Which is why I don't think it's likely, just a possibility." Inoichi informed her calmly. "Natsumi's a bit… strange, as a person. She's a survivor type, for sure. Family orientated, a bit of an eternal teacher mentality laced through it all. But… pinning down her motivations sometimes is a bit of a gamble. Mostly, from what we've pieced together, her usual motivation is protection. Of Minato at first, then it spread to us, widened out a bit for a few others, and finally leeched down into Konohagakure itself. But even steel shields can rust, Kushina."

"Unless you care for them." The Whirlpool Princess actually stomped a foot that time. "We care for Natsumi, and she likes that. She seeks us out now, when she wants someone to talk to. She hasn't gone off on her own for years."

Inoichi shrugged easily. "I've been wrong about Natsumi's state of mind a lot. She's normally very good about correcting me. But, then again, I can't really make out what she's feeling. She's too good at psychology for me to get an accurate feel of her, so what she says might not be what she's really feeling. I have the feeling she's avoided me a few times already, just not very often."

"So… you just called yourself useless." Shikaku phrased that differently, a bit of a smirk on his face. "Look, I live with her. She fusses over her varied gakis, she cooks, she carves, and she'll occasionally mess with her ink. Natsu's a bit of a creature of habit, if you know what those habits are. That's only changed over the last four years when something major comes up, like injuries or massive shifts in the village. If it changes, I'll inform the rest of you. But maybe it's just the repeated setbacks. First the attempt on her life, then Orochimaru, and now this."

"Maybe sempai just really needs a vacation." Minato suggested idly, drumming his fingers on his thigh. "I don't think she ever took one for herself, unless it had to do with her injuries or her wedding."

"So I'll grab her and the rest of the girls sometime soon and drag them to an onsen." Kushina declared firmly, eyeing Inoichi warily. "Maybe it's just battle fatigue."

Shikaku would prefer thinking like that. "I'll talk to her later, about it all. Now, this oversight in security…"

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi blinked a bit into the dark, then turned her head to see her husband come through their bedroom door. "Took you long enough."

"Sorry, Natsu." The assassin blinked again as the bed dipped, and she got rolled over so Shikaku could look at her face. "That went on longer than I thought it would."

"Okay, but for future reference I hate having nothing to do." Natsumi blandly told him as she curled herself around his hip. "This house arrest thing can't happen often."

"Thank you for that, though. For going along with it."

"So? What happened?"

"ANBU decided to leave tightening security to the clans, as long as an ANBU agent is posted at the gates of each compound to ensure any visiting agent really is one. The Uchihas are going to shift the Military Police patrols around to include their own compound."

Natsumi knew what ANBU was going to do, she had worked it out with Bear-sama long before they took it to the Hokage. They were going to use it like watch training, ensuring everyone in ANBU knew everyone else. Because of the way they operated, infiltration attempts were common in ANBU. Not that they worked very well, but it was the point a lot of other Hidden Villages tried to sneak someone in because it seemed so impersonal to outsiders.

ANBU lived and fought with each other guarding their backs, though. They had an underground barracks, their own living space assigned, and very little to do with the whole village if they didn't want to. A black ops agent from the Sabotage Division might not know all the ninja in Seduction, but they had all those unspoken bits and pieces of ANBU life that made infiltrators and rookies stick out like a sore thumb. They just gave a blank, united front to those not in ANBU.

The bit about the Uchiha clan was news to her, though.

"Fugaku suggested that?"

"Minato did. Said it was because they were one of the largest clans in Konohagakure no Sato and maybe needed the help. They also have one of the largest compounds to themselves, so it shouldn't have been such a surprise that oversight was taken advantage of in a clan that couldn't feasibly double-check everything that went on by themselves. I worked it out for them, and it should cover for this little blind spot we seem to have."

That was three good ideas in as many months, Natsumi was getting rather proud of her kouhai.

Clan compounds were treated like little villages within the village. The clan that owned the compound usually restricted entrance to their own clan members, but you could visit if you gave a good enough reason. Natsumi had been visiting the Uchiha compound for years, just simply because she did like going over there and seeing what the clan was up to. She was such a common sight now the Uchiha gate guards didn't even blink when she walked by them without a word.

Konohagakure allowed it, because sticking several highly suspicious shinobi clans together and forcing them to co-exist in close quarters didn't work well in large volumes. The rivalry between the Hyūga and Uchiha clans had started from an incident like that near the founding of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, which was something that was still touchy between them even now. When the Akimichi clan joined the Senju founded village they brought along the Yamanaka and Nara clans, which left the three of them with the closest set of major clan compounds in the whole of Konoha. The Aburame clan just liked hanging around in the background and working from there, so they had the farthest flung clan compound in the village. The Inuzukas just liked their space, so they were closer to the main parts of the village by only a little bit on the same side of the village.

There were a few more clan compounds dotted through the village, but Natsumi hadn't visited them yet to see what they did or thought. She couldn't find a reason to that would hold up under any kind of scrutiny.

That was also why the clans took care of the security arrangements within their own clan compounds, because they were highly suspicious and preferred their guards to be their fellow clan members.

The security arrangements over the compounds were a concession to the clans that joined the Hidden Village, a right and privilege given to them by the Senju clan for joining with them. The assassin didn't want that to change, because if they started watching the Uchiha clan and not any of the others the Uchiha clan would start to chafe under the Leaf's own watch.

Danzō was likely to stick his nose into it in the next council meeting, so Natsumi was going to arrange it so Mikoto was the one to go. By visiting with Fugaku and Kagami on the same day, in their clan compound, about the same damn issue.

She was wondering exactly what Danzō would try in the face of that. You couldn't slip words or hidden meanings by either a genjutsu mistress or a fūinjutsu user, their livelihoods depended on their creative thinking abilities.

"I want to go see Kagami-sama tomorrow."

"I'm coming with."

Natsumi cracked an eye open and peered up at him. "Why?"

"We couldn't get a trace on the infiltrator. Until we leave Konohagakure for Earth, I would like you to be with someone. So either me, Minato, or Sakumo-sama. Or Jiraiya-sama, if we ever pry him out of the bath houses."

She opened both eyes to look at her husband. He looked pretty damn serious about that. "We leave in _four days_."

"Deal with it. I'm not risking my wife on the thought that there might not be another waiting around to kill you."

"What about ANBU?"

"Bear-sama agreed with me."

Natsumi blinked a few times. Well… that was unexpected, but she could work with that for a few days.

"This is vastly annoying, just so you know. But… okay. I can do that for now."

Shikaku pinned her back to the bed, frowning faintly. "Iwa and Kumo have already tried to kill you. Someone else tried not too long ago only to get burned by the seals. I'm getting rather sick of people trying to kill my wife."

"Which is why I'll go along with this. But all of them failed in the end, Shika." The assassin narrowed her eyes back at her husband, ignoring the fact her expression was probably a pout. "And if I have to die before my time again, I am damn well taking a chunk of people with me. I would like to retire eventually, for _once_."

He jerked back a bit, then cocked his head to the side questioningly. "Really?"

"Doesn't everybody?" She asked with some exasperation. "It's kind of what I'm aiming for now. I would like to retire, and the go bug Minato or my students every few days just because I can."

"Ah."

" _Ah_ what?"

Shikaku hummed lightly, a smirk now pulling his mouth up a bit. "I'll tell you later. But I promised to tie you up, didn't I?"

"Well, finally." Natsumi huffed as he got up to undress. "You promised that a while ago."

"Maybe I can get you to _purr_ again."

"…you're never going to let that go, are you?"

\V/

Natsumi thought about that question as they both walked to the Uchiha compound the next morning. "I could… but the chakra requirements would be _massive._ "

"I thought the security seals drew their own power?"

The Leopard Summoner smirked at her husband. "Yeah… but in order for a seal to work, you have to have enough chakra to start it. So for every bit of fūinjutsu I or the others do, we need enough chakra to sustain it for the first moment before those things kick in. So I can seal the house without a problem, Kushina-hime could seal multiple rooms in a day without one, Minato could probably seal a whole building or two, and Jiraiya-sensei could likely do several. But for a whole compound the size of the Uchiha clan's? It would take at least three of us, including sensei and the hime."

Shikaku nodded to show he understood. "That's why the Uzumaki clan was so popular then? They could do joint fūinjutsu works?"

"Mmm, sort of. But yeah, that's why their joint efforts were so much better than anyone else's. They were related, and their chakra natures reflected that. So that kind of thing was easier for them to do without unintentional conflicts arising from separate or clashing chakra natures."

The Nara couple drew even with the Uchiha gate guards while they had been talking, and the assassin had to blink when the two on duty gave her a little bow before letting her in.

It looked like the Uchiha clan had been told what had gone on already.

Natsumi suppressed the desire to act or react any differently to the stares, knowing her movements were likely being watched closely. Something of hers had just been stolen form the Uchiha clan, and any odd reaction she might give could be painted in so many different ways.

Including a lot she didn't want to give any impression of. Not if she was going to keep Danzō out of the Uchiha situation.

Usual habits then.

Natsumi grabbed her husband's hand and tugged him down a side street as soon as they were in the compound. "Come on, this way."

"Isn't Kagami-sama's home the other way? Near Fugaku's?"

"Yep, but since we're here…" The assassin grinned as she spotted the Uchiha couple. "Uruchi-san!"

The poor woman almost dropped the tray she had been holding. "Natsumi-sama! I was wondering if we would see you."

Teyaki had also almost fallen off his little chair next to the oven racks when the Nara kunoichi had shouted, and he weakly waved as he straightened up.

The civilian couple were two of Natsumi's favorite Uchiha clan members outside of the shinobi ranks. They ran a very popular senbi bakery, and the assassin visited them every time she came into the compound. The rice crackers they made were nothing to sneeze at, either… but it was the little matter of their son that caused the kunoichi to seek them out the first time.

"Obito-kun is in school, right?" Natsumi asked as the two of them drew closer. "He'll make a damn fine trap specialist if he ever gives up the ninjutsu fascination."

Uruchi gave a bit of a weak smile at both the mention of the academy and her only child. "He is at that, Natsumi-sama, and I will have to take your word on it. Would you like some senbi while you are here?"

"Please and thank you." She turned to her bemused husband. "I like the senbi here, and we're here anyways so we might as well."

"Do you do this every time you come here?" Shikaku asked lightly, peering into the open ovens where the crackers were toasted.

"Just about." Teyaki confirmed, rising from his post on charcoal duty to face the head of the Nara clan. "Shikaku-sama, it is a pleasure to meet you."

Shikaku, like any half-way decent shinobi, didn't like the civilian shaking of hands greeting that was so common with merchants. This civilian was an Uchiha clan member on the other hand, and he knew that perfectly well, so he stuck to a bow.

Natsumi's husband gave a slight bow of his own back. "Natsu really didn't give me a choice, so you can blame her."

"Fully guilty." The assassin beamed with a sly little smirk, turning to Uruchi and her little basket of senbi she brought out of the store. "But so worth it, Shika."

The civilian woman had a more genuine smile on her face as she handed over the little paper basket.

"Itadakimasu." Natsumi bit into one of the crackers, turning to her husband with an impish look.

Shikaku huffed, but pulled the ryo out to pay the couple for her snack. "You have your senbi, can we go and see Kagami-sama now?"

The assassin shrugged, waving a little at the civilian Uchiha couple.

Her husband handled the leave taking since her mouth was full, but firmly directed her on to the housing district of the compound afterward. Natsumi just let him, as her little ritual was complete and probably went a long way to reassure the more finicky clan members that she wasn't going to avoid them all now.

Mikoto didn't even blink at the small basket of senbi in the Nara kunoichi's hand when the two reach the Uchiha clan head's home. "Shikaku, Natsumi. Are you here to talk to Fugaku?"

The assassin swallowed quickly. "Kagami-sama actually. Fugaku can come with if he wants."

Itachi peered around his mother, quickly darting over when he saw who was there with a certain sweet snack. "May I have one, Natsu-oba-san?"

Natsumi quickly checked with the Uchiha matron, but did hand over one of her sweet rice crackers to the toddler. "Sure, Itachi-chan. Careful, they're still a bit warm."

Shikaku rolled his eyes at the both of them as Mikoto went to fetch her husband. "That's why you like to get them? So you can spoil Itachi-kun?"

"Are you complaining?" The assassin quickly picked the last one up and shoved it into his mouth before he could reply. "See, Itachi-chan? Even food can be a weapon if you know how to do it."

The two-year-old was too well mannered to giggle at people he didn't know well, but he did smile around his own senbi cracker.

"I am sure you would be the one to know, Natsumi." Fugaku spoke severely as he stepped outside, Mikoto trailing after him.

"Are we making this a family outing?" The Nara kunoichi asked lightly, while her husband dislodged the cracker out of his mouth. "I'm feeling a little unprepared. Give us nine months, I'm sure we could catch up somewhat."

Mikoto coughed suddenly, blinking.

"I'm sure we could. The question is, do we want to? Your friends might spoil our kid in revenge for spoiling theirs." Shikaku added dryly, still inspecting the rice cracker.

Fugaku raised an eyebrow.

"What would take nine months?" Itachi asked curiously. "Is that how long it takes to make a baby?"

The Uchiha clan head flatly glared at the Nara couple, his wife palming her face in exasperation.

"Yes, Itachi-chan. But the medics usually tell us when a baby is coming." Natsumi told the genius level two-year-old, trying hard not to snicker.

"These are pretty good." Her husband commented lightly, attracting toddler attention neatly and shifting the kid's focus to sweets and the half a cracker he still had in his hand.

"I don't know how you did that, I don't want to know." Mikoto told her fellow kunoichi. "Just don't do it again."

Since Itachi was pretty occupied telling the Nara clan head all about his favorite sweets or nibbling on his senbi, Natsumi felt it was safe enough to snicker. "I have no idea what you mean, Mikoto."

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi listened to the full description of the fake ANBU agent Kagami gave, while Mikoto distracted both Itachi and Shisui outside.

"Well… I can see why this happened. He was dressed exactly like any member of ANBU, fully to regulations. It was just the mask that was wrong."

She wasn't surprised, she had her suspicions of who exactly had been behind it all and he wouldn't have made any mistake unless he could help it. The news about the blank animal masks being all retired only went around ANBU about a year and a half ago before getting buried under silence and unspoken tradition, meaning Danzō had to have lost any kind of watch he had on ANBU before that. Now, he either didn't have an eye in the ANBU ranks or only just got someone back in.

"So… year and a half to two years ago, is when the colored masks became the rule of thumb due to increasing memberships and retirement of the last original ANBU agent. Whoever it was, had to have known about the animal features but not of the paints."

Fugaku nodded sharply. "That will give us a time frame to start looking for recently moved civilians, thank you."

"We'll probably start on our own end, looking for agents that might be disgruntled or unhappy with the village before that cutoff." Natsumi told him, still frowning. "At least, that's what I'm sure Bear-sama's on now. Or posting an on guard ANBU for each clan compound gate and making up the duty roster."

"Can either of you recall any other ANBU agents that messed up the mask?" Shikaku asked from behind his wife, since he was leaning up against the wall and not sitting with the clan elder near his tea table.

Kagami almost seemed to sag a moment, at the idea that this may have been going on for a while now.

Natsumi turned her head to give her bluntly spoken husband a short glare. "Don't you have a council meeting to go to?"

The Nara clan head checked the sky through the front windows. "Yeah. Your point?"

"Shoo. Fugaku can be my guard dog for a few hours. Take Mikoto with you, someone needs to represent the Uchiha clan while we deal with this."

"Natsumi-sama-"

The assassin pinned the clan elder with a stern look. "I've been ANBU for ten years now. Besides me, you have Bear-sama as a known, long-term black ops agent. Who would you rather deal with?"

Both Uchiha shinobi hesitated at that.

Natsumi smiled grimly. Bear wasn't a very nice man if you didn't know him well.

"And I need you to help, Fugaku, since you are the head of the Uchiha clan. You would be the person to deal with ANBU the most, if we needed to talk to your clan for whatever reason. So, you would most likely know which agents have come by already."

"How long will that take you?"

"Depends on how far back we can go." Natsumi turned again to address her husband. "I might even have to send someone to ANBU to get… no, I can't do that. I might have to go into ANBU to get a look at the full roster. So… if we're not here, we're at that teahouse."

Shikaku stared hard at her, but finally got moving to leave.

The assassin turned to the two Uchiha clan members. "Start writing it all out. Every time an ANBU agent met with one of you, going back as far as you can remember. I'll match them up to agents when I get into headquarters."

(ooo000ooo)

"You know," Mikoto told Shikaku lightly as they left the formal council chambers, "I think I hate Elder Shimura-sama."

"You and my wife both." He replied absently, lazily stretching out after a few good hours slumped into a hard chair. "Natsu said he was _creepy._ "

The genjutsu mistress thought about that as the two of them wandered out to the strange little teahouse that covered one of the varied ANBU headquarters entrances.

Shikaku knew it wasn't the only one. He had once, way back when he was nursing a bit of a crush on Natsumi and before he finally asked her to marry him, staked it out just to make sure she was alive after he learned when she was due back from Minato. He completely missed her entering the teahouse, if she had, but she had greeted him and his team when she popped out of whatever it was that sealed off the entrance to ANBU headquarters.

How he had missed where she came from was still beyond him, but it just reinforced the feel of strange that teahouse gave off.

"Natsumi never really liked Orochimaru either." Mikoto spoke quietly, as they turned down a lesser used side road. "She tried hard, because both Jiraiya-sama and Fugaku liked him, but she was never very comfortable in his presence."

"She respected the hell out of him as a shinobi, though." Shikaku reminded the Uchiha kunoichi, wondering where this conversation was going. "Even if she didn't like him personally."

"So… what does Natsumi think about Shimura-sama, as both a person and as a shinobi?"

The Nara clan head gave her a sharp look. "Are you looking for a pattern? There are plenty of people my wife doesn't like. Getting her to make more friends is an exercise in pure frustration, according to Inoichi. Sometimes it works and gets attached to someone, enough to start her fussing over them too. Other times she flat out avoids talking to other people. I highly doubt the ninja my wife avoids are all traitors."

"Of course not, but she is a good judge of character."

"So is Inoichi." Shikaku barked a laugh. "Hell, so is the rest of the Yamanaka clan. That's why they handle whatever head shrinking is needed within the village."

Mikoto just sighed as he held open the teahouse doors for her. "I know, but I have a nagging suspicion there is more to that than there seems."

The shadow master held his silence as he bought a large pot of green tea from the unusual old woman that ran the teahouse, and a few sticks of yakitori. He took the tray to the table the Uchiha clan head and clan elder were sitting around.

Fugaku looked vastly uneasy to be sitting in the teahouse again, but it was Kagami's first time in the strange place and he looked interested despite himself.

Mikoto slipped down next to her husband. "There was very little accomplished in the council meeting. The Village Elders had wanted to take over rearranging the security layout of the village. But after Hiashi hammered home the idea that we had already taken it into account and worked out a solution most of the clans liked already, they backed off."

"After three hours of arguing." Shikaku added dryly, swapping the pots of tea out with the one on his tray. "Then, for whatever reason, Shimura wanted to know what was going to happen to the Uchiha clan for the theft that happened under your guard."

The Chief of Police raised an eyebrow at that. "What did you tell him?"

"That because it was an incident between the Nara and Uchiha clan, it would be dealt with by us personally. He didn't seem happy."

Swallowing down her bite of skewered chicken, the genjutsu mistress huffed lightly. "And then he wanted to charge us with negligence, for losing information on a kinjutsu of Konohagakure no Sato."

Kagami stiffened, looking pained at that bit of news.

Shikaku eyed him curiously, not entirely sure why his wife like the clan elder so much but wanting to know. "Of course, Hiruzen-sama reminded him that the kinjutsu was only usable by one member of our shinobi corps. It still has a pending kekkai genkai status label in R&D, so it was not something even a highly trained shinobi could pick up on a whim. Unless you all do find out how Natsu can teach someone, it will remain that way even if she can't pass it on."

"So it was kekkai genkai theft, not kinjutsu theft. Therefore still a clan matter and not a village one, unless the clan in question appeals for help in dealing with it." Mikoto finished primly, pouring herself a cup of tea. "Shimura-sama was… less that pleased to hear that."

"Do you think someone went after it because we kept calling it a kinjutsu, not my kekkai genkai?" Natsumi asked casually as she slipped in next to Shikaku suddenly, smirking at the surprised looks she received. "By the way, thank you ever so Shika. I now have guard dogs even within ANBU."

She jerked her thumb behind her, where Stag was standing.

The Nara clan head nodded to the bodyguard, vaguely recalling the agent from the run in with B of Kumogakure a few years ago. The ANBU agent saluted and somehow melted out of view. "Why would someone go after a forbidden technique and not a bloodline skill? You're perfectly welcome, remind me to thank Bear-sama as well one day."

"I did do a fair bit of damage to Iwa with it, publicly and in front of Suna." The assassin shrugged, setting a file of paperwork in front of her. "Maybe someone wanted that, and thought my kinjutsu was something someone else could actually pick up. Now have my revenge, Shika. _Paperwork_."

"How do you two have two completely different conversations going on at the same time?" Mikoto rubbed her temples, sighing over her cup of tea. "That shouldn't be possible."

"It's call multitasking, Mikoto." Natsumi remarked lightly, opening the file and shifting around some of the written pages. "Marvelous thing, that. Now, with what Fugaku and Kagami-sama could recall I narrowed down another two incidents I can't match an actual ANBU agent to. One is still being investigated, and Rabbit ought to pop up sometime and hand over the results of the checks against deceased ANBU agents and squads by surviving team members and fellow Division mates."

She sorted two piles and returned them to the Uchiha shinobi, shutting the file after retaining two pages for the table to view. Both were in Kagami's handwriting, but only one dealt with a blank mask.

The ANBU captain tapped the first one. "This, about six years ago and dealing with a blank Dog mask. I'm pretty sure this is another of these incidents that lost the report on me. Dog, the first, was killed two years previous to this incident. Long story, a tree trunk was involved and that's all I'm really allowed to tell you. But this agent Dog claimed to be a Hunter-nin, which is wrong. Hunter-nin just have the kabuki masks to them, but those were painted to look like Oni long before we got around to mimicking it with the animal masks. So if he was a Hunter-nin, he wouldn't be a Dog."

Kagami's forehead wrinkled as the older man tried to place the incident in question. "That… was about a runaway. Civilian clan member, just before Fugaku-sama took control of the Uchiha clan. Nothing of him was found."

Natsumi nodded after he stopped talking, but pulled another sheet of paper out of her file and handed it over. "He wasn't civilian, Kagami-sama. He was ANBU. Joined right out of the academy so we altered his records to say he failed out, because he decided to become a civilian spy instead of a shinobi one. So he stopped developing his chakra coils to pass himself off as a civilian or a weak nuke-nin. Worked the merchant routes around Water… until he stopped reporting back in. He was a damn fine spy, always reported in on time and had very accurate reports. So, there were thirteen separate attempts to find out what happened to him, tagged onto a lot of different missions in the same areas, but all of them failed in the end. No lead, no rumors, nothing. There one day, gone the next."

"Does that kind of spy happen a lot?"

"Don't ask me that, Shika." The assassin looked rather pained at his question. "I can't answer that, and I don't want to lie to you."

Shikaku sighed, rubbing her lower back in apology. She had probably taken the time to secure permission to answer a few questions about dead or false agents, but Natsumi would never betray any living ones if she could help it. Which meant her lack of reply did mean there were some more of those kind of spies wandering around the Elemental Countries. "Sorry Natsu."

"May we add his name to our records of fallen shinobi?" Fugaku asked quietly, folding the paper up and looking at the assassin.

Natsumi shrugged. "If you would like, but we would appreciate if you kept it quiet. He's on the ANBU one, fifteen feet below us, already."

"So… we have a false civilian member of the clan, whose body we are missing." Mikoto summarized uneasy as her husband tucked away the page of information. "And a false Dog."

"Mmm," the ANBU captain scratched the side of her nose, "unfortunately, I can guess what happened. As… this Dog visited your compound two days before our presumed dead spy dated and sent in his last report, that stated he was coming home again and which villages he was going to hit up on his way back. We got that report the day after your clan declared him traitor and dead to you all."

"Cutting off any attempt you might have made to look deeper into his disappearance from within the village." Fugaku realized, fury flicking across his face.

"I remember the uproar it made in ANBU." Natsumi told the Uchiha clan head sadly. "We wanted to look into it anyways, but Hiruzen-sama put his foot down. You declared him dead and traitor, we couldn't poke it because it was then clan and not village related. These spies work a fine line, especially if they come from clans. They know perfectly well any deviations or unusual behavior might kill them or get them tossed from their clans, and they accepted that risk when they joined on. I'm not trying to trivialize what happened to him, but he _knew_ the risks Fugaku."

The Chief of Police sighed heavily, scowling down at the handwritten report Kagami had complied from sharingan enhanced memory. "I understand, Natsumi. We appreciate the attempts to find him, even if we were of no help at the time."

"You're perfectly welcome, just don't blame yourself for it. I think it was one of the last things your clan council decided on before you took over the clan." The assassin switched reports, tapping a filed fingernail against the other one she had singled out. "This one is one I'm not sure about. She's got the mask right, but… the Viper on file was male at the time. This one just might have been an infiltration attempt on our end, because nothing really happened because of this incident. I would like to wait for-"

A kunoichi in a rabbit mask, painted with fine blue lines like whiskers, handed off a scroll of paper to the Nara kunoichi and disappeared a moment later.

"Right, thanks Rabbit."

Shikaku stared hard at where the woman had stood, but he couldn't pick out where she had come from or where she left the room at. Looking at the Uchiha that were sitting at their table as well, he was pretty sure even their eyes hadn't caught the kunoichi before she had gotten close. "I really _hate_ this teahouse."

Natsumi huffed a laugh, sliding a finger under the lip of the scroll to loosen the wax holding it closed. "I'd show you how it works, but you have to be ANBU for that."

Mikoto set down the yakitori skewer she had almost tried to use as a weapon, scowling. "This was not nearly so annoying when we were younger."

"You know, the fact I was the one to show Hizashi this place was the only reason you all weren't thrown out after an hour." The assassin informed them lightly, reading rapidly through the report she now had spread open over her lap. "That, and ANBU thought what you were doing was hilariously entertaining."

Shikaku almost inhaled his tea. "What!"

Natsumi shrugged and rolled up the scroll in her hand. "ANBU thought it was hilarious. You had about three squads keeping both the Uchiha elders and the Hyūga elders from learning what you were doing, because they liked what you were doing and wanted it to work. So they helped out a bit."

Kagami raised an eyebrow at that news, interested. "What did ANBU find so amusing they aided a few clan heirs with?"

"A Hyūga issue." The assassin tapped the now closed scroll on the table, tossing it behind her and seemingly straight through a wall. "Right, the Viper kunoichi was an infiltration attempt we dealt with. So that's not a problem. She just picked the wrong mask to mimic, and ended up dying for that."

"Okay," Fugaku gritted out, glaring at the Nara kunoichi, "now, _about this teahouse_."

"You all came in without an ANBU agent to the teahouse over ANBU headquarters. Why are you surprised?" Natsumi smirked into his face. "They wanted to know why, learned, and decided it was a good mission to help out with. So they guarded your back and helped out a bit in redirecting some of the clan members you were avoiding a few times. Occasionally, other civilians and ninja _have_ realized that the tables here are sealed for privacy. ANBU will let that happen, as long as there is a valid reason for it."

Mikoto uneasily looked around at the nearly empty teahouse. "So… ANBU is watching us right now?"

"No, there's an ANBU agent sitting right here." The assassin waved a few fingers at her, a wry grin stretching her lips. "You've all been added to the list of authorized personnel, too, so they wouldn't have listened in anyways. It was just that Shika and the Hyūga twins came back without me that drew interest the first time."

Shikaku eyed her warily, setting his teacup down firmly. "Don't you think we might have like to know that before using this place?"

"I didn't expect Hizashi to bring you back here." Natsumi shrugged easily, putting her paperwork away and shoving it into his hands. "I probably should have, because this place is pretty damn cool in the secrecy aspect. But at the time, Hizashi just wanted some privacy and I thought of this place first."

The Uchiha clan elder tilted his head to the side, staring at the assassin. "What do you mean by 'authorized personnel', Natsumi-sama?"

"It means if you come in here, ANBU will leave you alone." The ANBU captain smirked as she snagged the last of the cooled chicken skewers for herself. "We trust you to keep what you learn to yourself, so we don't care if you need to use the teahouse for other reasons. As you have before, but it was for a good cause that even ANBU got into helping out. It happens, occasionally."

Fugaku's face actually blanked for a moment, and Mikoto's spine straightened sharply.

Kagami merely blinked. "Ah. Interesting."

Shikaku sighed heavily, rubbing the back of his neck.

That wasn't exactly pleasant to learn about well after the fact, but at least he knew they had said nothing about his wife's unique history the first time Hizashi had dragged him in here.

Natsumi, of course, thought their unease was amusing.

"Troublesome woman."

The assassin snorted at him as they got up from the table. "You've been married to me how many years, Shika? Shouldn't you have known that by now?"

\V/

"So! Sempai. I have an idea."

Natsumi warily eyed Minato as the blond just about threw himself onto the couch she was sitting on. "Do I really want to know?"

"Not all my ideas are bad ones, Natsumi." He reminded her dryly.

"Well… are we counting the squirrels in this? Or even the 'moving without telling the hime' idea?"

The jōnin shinobi glared, and she just had to smirk.

"Yes, Minato, some of your ideas are pretty good." The assassin reasoned lightly, patting him on the knee. "But some of them just make me want to grab Inoichi for the help in figuring out how the hell you came up with them."

"I second that." Jiraiya echoed from the hallway, ducking his head to get into the Nara's study. "Hello, neko-chan. Fancy seeing you here."

"Considering I live here, sensei, it really shouldn't be all that surprising." Natsumi returned dryly, rolling up a letter from Sasori and sticking it on Shikaku's desk for later. "Now, do I really want to know why you two are here? I do want to talk to you, sensei, but I don't know why you're here, Minato."

"Your boy toy of a husband nagged the both of us to come out here." The Toad Sage supplied, taking a more moderate approach to seating himself and sitting against the wall to face his two old students. "Well, nagged me. Minato just tagged along."

The assassin sighed, rubbing her face. "I'm in the house! Behind my _apparently_ overly paranoid seal work! Shika's guard dog tendency was supposed to be satisfied by that!"

"He made it sound like you had a question, sempai."

"Oh… that." She blinked a few times, then looked at Minato. "You'd better go first, because that's probably going to be awkward."

"Right, my idea." The blond jōnin hauled himself upright, and set his elbows on his knees. "So, you had the thought that someone went after that report on your chakra nature because we keep calling the weird technique you use with it a kinjutsu and not a kekkai genkai."

"Because it's probably just a fluke that I can do it at all." Natsumi reminded him, jerking a thumb over to where Jiraiya was sitting up against the wall. "Because the old man over there said it wasn't likely my chakra nature was going to be passed on, since how it originated was from something that probably wouldn't be genetically passed on to any children I have."

"Oi!"

"Ignore the old man." Minato waved a hand dismissively. "But, you think whoever went after it did so because of the kinjutsu label."

Jiraiya growled.

"Yeah… because if it really was a newly found kekkai genkai they were after, they probably would've come after me instead of a bunch of papers on it."

"So… let's use that and bait a trap."

Natsumi blinked, and even the Toad Sage lost his playful scowl.

"How?" The white haired sannin demanded.

"By pretending to teach someone the kinjutsu, writing up a report, sticking it in the Nara clan's library, and spreading a few words."

The assassin stared hard at her almost brother. "Minato, whoever did this knew enough of Konohagakure security procedures to mimic an ANBU agent, interact with the patrols, and make away with a highly classified report out of the Uchiha clan. They probably have an ear into R&D too, and if we don't register that we can teach someone the damned kinjutsu they won't bite."

He just nodded. "So that's what we'll do. Mikoto's a genjutsu mistress, if she can't mimic the kinjutsu's effects at least somewhat it's not possible."

"And what about Research and Development?" Jiraiya asked, turning the plan over in his head. "They'd have to know."

"But since someone stole information from the village on it already, why would we make a whole lot of noise about it?" Minato asked slyly, a grin sneaking across his face. "So, rumors of a confirmed kinjutsu locked away in the Nara clan… but nowhere else. Bait and the trap."

"I'll make the trap." Natsumi murmured, becoming more attached to the plan the more she thought of it. "If we're using the Nara clan library for the setting, I damn well want to be certain we're catching whatever comes after it. Mikoto can mock up the bait, and do it here because my seals are lethal to sneaks and spies."

"I'll spread the word." Jiraiya added thoughtfully. "As long as I know where it started, I could probably trace it all that way and get independent confirmation of who are the leaks once the trap snaps."

The blond fūinjutsu user nodded again, losing the grin and getting serious. "When?"

"Not until we come back from Earth, for sure." The assassin supplied thoughtfully. "Too soon and it reeks of suspicious happenings. Too long and we may miss whoever it is if they decided to pull out even after realizing the report is mostly useless."

Rather, Danzō might manage to cover his tracks better.

"I'll… throw a dinner party once our division is finally back after the changeover. We'll hash out the minor details then."

"I'll inform Hiruzen-sensei." The Toad Sage nodded his head as he thought over how he was going to do it all.

"I'll inform the Uchihas then." Minato finished brightly. "Now, I'm done. What question did you have for sensei?"

Natsumi scratched a cheek lightly, after checking the nail wasn't sharp. "Are you sure you want to know?"

He eyed her warily, but nodded.

She shrugged and turned to the white haired sannin. "Okay, Summoning Contracts. I've got a bit of a question."

Jiraiya just nodded along. "Shoot."

"These… features," Natsumi waved a hand at both her clawed fingertips and the enlarged canines, "where, exactly, do they stop? Because… I don't want to wake up one day _purring_."

"That's… oddly _specific_ , neko-chan." The sannin guessed shrewdly, trying and failing to fight down a grin. " _Purring?_ "

She flatly glared at him with a huff. "It only happened once, I'd rather it not happen again. Thank you."

"Why would you-" Minato cut himself off when he received the same flat glare. "…I don't think I want to know."

"No, you don't."

The blond blinked, and hauled himself upright. "Too much information for me. I'll see you later, sempai."

Natsumi blandly waved him out, turning back to her old genin sensei with a huff. "I would still like an answer."

"Talk to your cats, neko-chan." Jiraiya told her lightly. "They're the ones doing it. Ask them to stop and they will. It won't fade, but you won't get any more little neko surprises."

"Seriously? You know, you could've told me that sooner. Like when I kept tearing up everything I touched."

He tilted his head to the side and thought. "I think I wasn't in the village when it started for you. But yeah… I probably should've told you."

She huffed irritably, glaring at the filed nails that she had to mess with every day or risk injury to herself and others.

"Now… what did you really want to talk to me about?"

"I have a theory."

Jiraiya rubbed his jawline thoughtfully. "This isn't going to be a good theory, is it?"

Natsumi shrugged dismissively. "Depends on your definition of 'good', sensei. Do you know what I was poking at a few years ago?"

"Danzō and ROOT." The Master Spy sighed, leaning back against the wall. "You think he's behind this?"

"Well… it's either some faceless enemy that can slip in and out of ANBU and Uchiha patrols to brazenly steal something in broad daylight, repeatedly across several years apparently, or one of our own using what they know to do it." She pointed out dryly, shrugging when all he did was stare back at her. "Really, although I would like it to be some faceless enemy I can hunt down… that's not the more likely possibility. The only reason it's still a theory and not a suspicion is because I don't have a motive for why he would do that."

Jiraiya pulled a face, knocking his head back against the wall. "I don't like it."

"Danzō has a faction of ANBU to himself, would know the ANBU protocols from the Second War, our silent code of conduct, and seems to have a bit of a hard-on for the Uchihas for whatever reason. If it's not him we're looking for an infiltrator that managed to sneak into Konohagakure, learn all that while somehow avoiding suspicion, and steal a report on my chakra nature… within the two years of time from now and when I gave it over to Kagami-sama. That's not very likely, sensei."

"Neko-chan… It could've been an infiltration attempt already in progress that shifted goals."

"And they somehow arranged for the theft to happen the day of our section coming back from Lightning for a break? Within the window of us returning and before I would be able to go see the Uchihas myself? We didn't even know we were leaving Lightning until the same damn week, or what day we'd be back until partway here. Who else is high enough in our ranks to hear the news we sent back by Summons?"

"Well… if you put it that way…"

"You do want some kind of warning before you go tripping into something like that, sensei." Natsumi told him dryly. "That's not a good way to learn someone went rouge."

The sannin froze, heaving a heavy sigh after a moment. "Yeah, that couldn't have been very pleasant."

"Just watch your back. I'll watch mine and Minato's while you dig."

Jiraiya huffed a bitter laugh as he pushed himself upright. "Get that husband of yours to help, neko-chan. I'm a little tired of coming back and visiting you when you're on medic-ordered bed rest."

She scratched the side of her face sheepishly. "Yeah, I'm kind of tired of hospital food myself."

"You are leaving this up to me, right?" The Toad Sage stretched up to his full height, staring down the reincarnated soldier seriously. "I want you to be careful, neko-chan. If you're right this isn't going to be pretty."

Natsumi tilted her head back, keeping eye contact with him. "Even if it turns out that I'm wrong and it wasn't Danzō, yeah. I'm leaving it to you. I've been poking for the last couple years, and haven't gotten anything but a disappearing dead body before I had to stop and a stolen report now. You do this kind of thing all the time, so if you can't find anything there's probably nothing to find."

Jiraiya frowned faintly, studying her expression. "I don't believe a damn word of you stopping. You tend to poke at things until it either bites you or rolls over, Natsumi-chan."

She shrugged easily. "I think I've been bitten already, sensei."

He snorted, stretching out a hand to mess her hair up as he walked by. "Cute."

Natsumi just watched silently as the white haired sannin left the study, smoothing down her hair.

Between both her and Jiraiya, something had to come up when they whacked the hornets' nest. Minato's idea was a damned good one, but every idea could use a little help.

\V/

"Seriously, it hasn't moved at all."

"Of course it hasn't, sempai." Minato dryly informed her, stepping beyond the medic's camp guards with a nod. "It's easily defendable in a known location, and they're _medics_. Why would it move out of the pass we set it up in?"

Natsumi raised an eyebrow at his back, checking to see if the tent poles really were still in the same spot they had been nearly two years ago. "Because… the fighting maybe moved on beyond them?"

"That hasn't really moved very far." Shikaku informed her wryly, one hand on her back and guiding her beyond the outer shelters that ringed the medic's camp. "Iwa got a bit… irritated that we're in striking distance to them."

She huffed, following along with the rest of their traveling group to where her blond kouhai was taking them.

Unlike with Kumo, who they could startle with a blitz attack and fake out into retreating into their own territory, it wasn't very likely Iwa would fall for the same thing and be shifted back by anything other than overwhelming force. Cloud wasn't nearly as intent on killing everything with a Leaf hitai-ate as Rock was currently.

Unlike with the Lightning based fighting, the fighting in Earth had some actual help.

Shimogakure might have just reacted like Kusagakure and wanted the fighting out of their country, but Sunagakure was committed to helping Konohagakure.

There were more than a few Sand ninjas here and there, either getting help for a bloody wound or helping out with some part of the camp's daily life.

Natsumi thought that was pretty awesome, considering she was pretty damn sure that didn't happen this way in the story she had in her head.

Shikaku arranged for a double tent for them, for the few nights they had to rest from the trip before getting sent out into Earth proper. Minato split off from them after they exchanged assigned tent numbers, heading for the part that would make up the instant response off-duty shinobi. She and her husband apparently had a few nights in the deeper section of the camp reserved for those that would need a bit more time before responding to any emergencies.

"Is it bad I'm thankful to be out of Konoha?" Natsumi asked idly as they headed for their assigned tent.

Shikaku raised an eyebrow and looked at her over his shoulder, turning back to trying to locate their assigned spot after a moment. "Why?"

"Because I no longer am being watched over nearly constantly." She quietly told him, tugging the back of his flak jacket to keep him from wandering past their home for the next few nights. "That wasn't very fun."

He ducked under the tent's flap, checking to see what the lighting was and what they had in the way of furniture as she slapped a few seals to the walls. "I _am_ sorry, Natsu. But I would prefer a live wife to a dead one. At least out here we all know who's aiming for us."

"Hmph, true. It is much easier to know who's trying to kill you when we're at war." The assassin remarked dryly, checking the dimensions of their temporary home against her short-term seal work to ensure it would work as needed for a few days. "It's usually that guy across the field trying to throw sharp and stabby things at your head."

He barked a laugh, shaking his head with a sharp grin of his own. "That is true, I suppose."

"The one thing about this I do love dearly, is that lovers and married couples are encouraged to work together on the same team."

"You mean couples were kept apart?"

"No fraternizing while on duty, and we were on duty a lot." Natsumi told him wickedly, smoothing the privacy seals down and turning around with a grin. "We were told you couldn't even sleep with another soldier in your company in my last life, it wasn't allowed by regulations."

Shikaku eyed the bare light bulb that hung from the tent's poles to ensure it was high enough, then eyed her curiously. "Did that really stop anyone?"

"Hell no. We just kept it quiet if it happened." The assassin flounced down onto their little cot, digging her fingers into her ninja sandals to get them off her feet. "Sometimes a couple would get some leave arranged and come back married, other times you'd find out when everyone was off-duty that a couple were living together. But command didn't like it, so they ignored it happening or when it popped up like that as long as we kept it out of our usual working hours."

"That sounds very… odd."

"Different culture, different way of looking at things." Natsumi shrugged, moving on to releasing the catches to her shin guards and her weapon pouches. "In this life, couples in ninja life fight harder just to keep each other safe. So the village uses that, since trying to stop it would cause more of a ruckus that just letting it go on and it is useful sometimes. But in my last life, women weren't encouraged to fight for a living. Hell, fifty to a hundred years before I was born the first time? Women were pretty much stay at home wives, and those that could fight were harlots or shameful."

He blinked, snorting as he joined her in removing the more stiff bits of his own working attire. Starting with the flak vest he didn't really like wearing. "To be honest, I can't see you as a housewife. You'd go spare, given how much you chafed at being confined to our home for just a few days."

"I would honestly like to see if some civilian would actually walk up to a kunoichi and try to tell them we're shameful." The assassin countered lightly, now on her arms and the few senbon she had hidden against her forearms. "I think it would be hilarious to see. Especially if that kunoichi is Tsunade-sama."

Shikaku thought about that, working from top down rather than her preferred bottom up. "I'm sure some civilian might, if they didn't have a very good idea of what a kunoichi is and she was being polite. But… that would have to be the village idiot who would say something, and I'm pretty sure any village wouldn't mind missing one or two."

Natsumi snickered, tossing the spiked chain that normally guarded her hair from being pulled onto the pile of weapons she had going already. "Yeah… that would be how it would work…"

"I'm pretty sure the first few kunoichi used that gender discrimination ruthlessly back in the Warring States Era," he continued thoughtfully, rubbing at the marks his flak vest left on his skin, "until it no longer was what we thought of female ninjas. Now you all are just scary, able to go from sweet to sharp in seconds while we try to figure out how we pissed you off."

She hummed, kicking out her now bare feet to stretch out her legs. "Remind me to thank the spirits of those few trail blazers, Shika. Kami-sama only knows how much they had to put up with to change that."

"I'm pretty sure they either thought it was amusing or useful, Natsu." He pointed out dryly. "Or if not that, then annoyingly stupid of the men around them."

"After they started being recognized as shinobi." Natsumi tacked on sadly. "The very first few kunoichi probably had more than their fair share of discrimination and harassment aimed at them for what they did and how they lived."

Shikaku paused, one arm reaching for the dangling string that would turn the light off. "Probably. Did you ever get…?"

"Not now, but back then there were a few still hanging around that didn't like it."

"…they are very lucky they're already dead, then."

"Cute, Shika. Real cute."

"I'm pretty sure I'm not the one that would've killed them, Natsu."

She laughed in the sudden dark. "Probably not."

\V/

One of the things that made Iwa so hard to fight was the terrain.

The Land of Earth was a country made up of mountainous plateaus and highlands, a maze of a region that leveled off or twisted and turned without rhyme or reason.

That feature made it possible for Rock-nin to hide entire encampments behind a craggy ridge, or lurk around the mires until an unwary patrol passed them by. There was very little flat ground, most of it was slopped or ended suddenly in a cliff only to continue fifty feet away and twenty feet down past whatever rift in the earth that caused the land to crack open.

The Suna-nin were mostly uneasy in such a place, used to rolling desert dunes and high temperatures rather than the enclosed mountains and the thin air.

The Konoha-nin were a little less leery, some flatlands surrounded their forested village after all, but not anywhere near as deft in the region as the Iwa-nin they were fighting.

While Natsumi had been left behind to heal, a few corridors of terrain had been taken over by both aligned villages already and were pretty safe now. The forward movement was easily stalled, not only by the Rock shinobi trying to throw them out but by the sheer difficulty in trying to find a sure way through the Land of Earth. They had wandered down a few blind valleys already, only to get frustrated and sent back because the terrain stopped being cooperative and started looking like dead ended plateaus ringed by cliff faces.

The other thing that made Iwa hard to fight were their two jinchūriki.

Rōshi of the four-tails, and Han of the five-tails.

The assassin had yet to meet either one in the two months she had been assisting with the forward fighting in Earth, but she'd seen the results of their fights a fair few times. The globs of still burning hot lava were pretty hard to miss, after all.

Han was stealthier, the armored shinobi left only cooling water and bodies behind if he got into any confrontation with the combined Suna and Konoha forces.

From the few rumors and stories Natsumi did manage to listen in on, it sounded like the shinobi she was working with greatly preferred to meet the redheaded jinchūriki rather than the red armored one.

Rōshi might melt a few ninja when engaged, but Han usually ended up killing everything in his way if he could unless driven off quickly.

Minato was with her when they heard the results of one of what they thought was an encounter with the five-tailed jinchūriki, and he had looked pretty damn grave as the speculated reasons were sounded out.

The idea that Han's behavior could've been the hime's was pretty damn jarring. Kushina was mostly protected from the scorn or fear just the word jinchūriki caused, because only few knew she was one. It limited the number of shinobi she could work with for missions or battle, but gave her a lot more freedom to live under than what Han had probably lived with.

Hell, _Naruto_ might have turned out like Han if only a few things had been different in his life.

While Natsumi hadn't run into either of Iwa's jinchūriki, she was pretty damn certain Minato had.

He had come back to their camp a few times nursing burns, and sometimes with a very conflicted expression on his face.

\V/

The worse bit of the fighting in Earth was dealing with the varied villages they ran into.

Leaf shinobi had pretty much accepted the idea that they would be the bad guys to every civilian in Earth, but running into that was still jarring a little.

Especially since they were, and knew it.

The orders the shinobi of the Leaf were working under called for them to inspect and ensure the civilians they allowed to survive after they passed by really were civilians… and to kill anyone that wasn't or hadn't always been civilian.

Which included old, retired samurai and shinobi living out the rest of their lives in the rural farming settlements. The retired shinobi usually fled for safer grounds… the samurai didn't.

They normally had their own ways of avoiding enemy capture, and had it done well before any ninja could find them, but occasionally there were one or two that got surprised.

Even if that retired samurai they found was a father of two and a respected member of whatever town, they had to kill him.

The older man didn't look amused at their explanation, but accepted his fate with a sort of grace Natsumi had to admire in a horrified fashion.

"I would like to die with my honor intact, shinobi-san, if I have to die at all."

Minato didn't even blink, he just nodded. "We can do that."

Natsumi slipped her katana off her back, holding it out with two hands and a half bow. "If I may, samurai-sama."

The old man held his silence, but gave her a firm nod.

Her kouhai pressed his lips together but let the two of them leave the small house without a word.

"I am surprised, kunoichi-san." The elderly samurai spoke casually as he picked a good spot to sit, his wakizashi in hand. "I did not believe shinobi were taught the way of the sword."

"My kenjutsu master came from a long line of samurai before they turned shinobi, samurai-sama." Natsumi spoke quietly, standing behind him with her katana in hand. "You may have even heard of him, Hatake Sakumo-shishou."

"I have heard of your master, kunoichi-san." He replied with some amusement, sitting straight and proud so she wouldn't miss as he pulled the short sword out of it's sheath. "And you may inform him I am impressed with his student's manner and grace."

The assassin gave a shaky sigh, lifting her katana up. "I will tell him of your words, samurai-sama."

He impaled himself, and she sliced his head off in the next moment.

(ooo000ooo)

"Well… I feel like… shit." Minato spoke quietly as they watched over the samurai's family to ensure they would be okay getting to the main part of their village.

Natsumi just hummed a little sadly, swinging her feet as she watched the same thing.

"Was there any particular reason why he wanted to die that way?"

"Honor and the bushidō way." The only kenjutsu user between them stated resignedly, quoting the things she had learned from her taicho over the course of several years. "Samurai are encouraged to take their own life if ever in danger of being caught by the enemy. He was old and way too slow to fight to the death, so he died in the best manner he knew how. I simply kept it from paining him overmuch. It's… it's an honor thing, Minato."

He scratched the back of his head as the little family of now three reached safety, pushing off the tree trunk he had been leaning against. "Why not run?"

" _Samurai_ , Minato. They prefer to die as they live, by the sword and with as much honor as they may. Retreat isn't an option they like, even if it would mean their death to stay. Fleeing would be disgraceful, because he had a family and a village to protect with his life and could cause us some trouble with his death." Natsumi pulled herself upright as well, balancing a moment on the branches of the pine tree they used to shelter themselves from view. "It is very different than anything a shinobi would do, but that's because they are different and are taught other things are more important than their lives."

"He would be alive." The blond argued back, frustrated with the way too familiar situation they were in. "He could see his sons grow up, or spend time with his wife. Why chose death over that?"

That hadn't been the first time the assassin had assisted a ritual suicide of a retired samurai they found, and he hated it.

"We will only go in circles arguing about it, Mina." Natsumi informed him tiredly, using a nickname she hadn't used in years to hammer home the point. "Yes, we know that running to fight another day is the best option. But he knew a different one was the best, so he wanted that."

"He wouldn't be dead if we were never here, Natsumi." Minato grit his teeth together, shoving his hands into his pockets. Only partially for easier access to the paper seals he had there, mostly because he was disturbed and unhappy with what they had just been a part of.

"And we are here because Iwa tried to start a war over whatever it is they are unhappy about instead of talking it out." She responded with a shrug. "Depending on how you want to twist or turn this either we're responsible or Iwa is, or even just fate. If not us, then another patrol might have found him and he would have done the same thing. Probably with less respect given for his wishes of his own fate. If the war hadn't broken out, maybe he would've died in a freak farming accident next week. Instead of blaming yourself for causing it, respect his desire to live how he wanted and die in the manner he knew best."

He fell silent for the rest of their patrol, scouting out the fringes of the Konoha front currently edging it's way father down a rather broad valley.

The two of them stayed out until nightfall, getting relieved of their scouting duties by a squad of Suna ninja around the time the last of the sunlight left the tips of the mountains above them.

Instead of retreating back to where the main force probably was, the two picked out a spot nearby to rest for the night and secured it the best they could. They would have to report back in the morning, but at night the shinobi were encouraged to scatter out a little to prevent massacres of entire divisions from being possible.

"I think I'm going to blame the war." Minato spoke up right before Natsumi had a chance to fall asleep.

She blinked her eyes open again, wondering why the hell she was wishing for a 'comfortable tree branch' rather than the grass she was lying on. "For samurai-sama's death?"

"If there wasn't a war going on, we wouldn't be enemies."

The assassin hummed lowly, keeping the noise she was making to a minimum. "That's probably a good idea. But the problem with that is that there almost always is a war going on. I've been alive for years now, Minato, and there was almost always a war going on somewhere."

"Why? What was the point?"

"Many reasons. A few out of fear, sometimes just pure hate, and mostly because _'they started it'_ 0."

He sighed disgustedly. "How did they end?"

"Show of force the opposition couldn't counter… or sometimes because there was no one else left to fight with."

There wasn't a lot of light, but Natsumi could still make out Minato's expression from just the starlight.

"Do you know who my favorite Hokage is, Minato?"

"…no?"

"Senju Hashirama-sama. He basically took a look at all the fighting going on in his time and decided to find a better way. So he founded the Village Hidden in the Leaves, found and distributed an effective deterrent for war instead of holding onto it, and gave us somewhere not only to belong to but to protect. Then he tried damn hard to keep the fighting from breaking out again, and only failed because of human nature. If he had survived, I think there would have been a lot less fighting going on now."

He blinked at her.

"If he hadn't decided to do something a little different than what was normal, we wouldn't have Konohagakure or probably have met somewhere we could be friends."

Minato still looked confused.

"Hiruzen-sama's a good Hokage, don't get me wrong. But we need someone like Hashirama-sama again."

"Unconventional?" He guessed slowly, thinking about that.

"That too. But I was thinking more kickass, peaceful, and charismatic at the same time. Someone who can scare those who needs to be scared with ease and politely talk with those that prefer that."

"Do you think that might stop the warring?"

"I think violence is part of human nature… but that can always be redirected into other pursuits if you know how to wrap up another action as something similar."

Minato hummed, stretching out a bit more on his side of their little fūinjutsu protected clearing. "I wonder where we'll find someone like that."

Lying about two feet from her, staring at the stars like an idiot when he should be keeping watch.

Natsumi smirked into the arm she was using to support her head. "I'm going to sleep now, Minato."

"Err… sorry sempai. Didn't mean to keep you up."

"Shut up already."

\V/

Of course, the first Iwagakure jinchūriki Natsumi met had to be Han of the five-tails.

She and Minato had returned to the main part of their assigned division for further orders one morning, spending a bit of time within the uprooting encampment just so the assassin could properly greet her husband.

The blond's shout of warning caused Natsumi to use his hiraishin and get both herself and Shikaku to where the fūinjutsu user was standing without thought, causing them to miss the armored feet that just impacted where they had been by mere moments.

Chouza slammed one shoulder into the armored figure in retaliation by the time the assassin could turn around and see what had gone on, but the man just grunted at the impact and heave back to remain in place. Only to abandon what he had been doing and jump back when the rest of the encampment finally reacted to his sudden arrival, leaving the Akimichi clan head to stagger forward for a moment before recovering his balance.

Natsumi was a bit concerned for a split second. Anything that could resist a surprise shove by Akimichi had to be strong.

Minato threw one of his three-pronged kunai at the armored figure's head in the next second, and the both of them used that to get behind him when Han just tilted his head to avoid the sharp points.

The assassin shoved the tip of her katana backwards once she could see again, and she was pretty sure Minato kicked.

Both were blocked by armored forearms.

Han had just raised his arms, using the armor that covered him from head to foot to turn aside both blows.

Her blond kouhai dove to the ground to get out of reach, she just used his back to spring the opposite direction before the jinchūriki could do anything else.

Unfortunately for her, he was _fast_ for an armored shinobi and Natsumi got a fist to the stomach before she could evade him fully.

He was also _strong_ , and that hit knocked her back a few good yards even if she tried to dig her feet into the ground and stop sliding backwards. Winded and probably with a few broken ribs, too.

Han didn't have the time to chase after her, though. Shikaku retaliated for the hit on his wife by raising his shadows from the ground and trying to impale the armored ninja in a whole lot of different angles.

The assassin stayed low to the ground, wrapping an arm around her abused midriff. She wouldn't be much use in close-combat now, so she just started adjusting how Han saw the world.

It did allow Chouza to smash a fist four times bigger than it should be into his face, but from how fast the jinchūriki shook off the blow Natsumi was wondering if that was from the armor that protected him or the demon Han contained… and if her kinjutsu would be of any real use beyond keeping the other ninja from being targeted by an opponent they couldn't do much about. The boiling steam Han was throwing around with ease was already making the air shimmer and waver, meaning he probably had other methods to ensure he was closing in on an enemy beyond sight.

Minato had his hands tied trying to keep the water laden wind from boiling them all alive, even as the Akimichi took on the fight with the jinchūriki added by shadowy tendrils and freed him from dodging red armored fists.

She watched for a moment, flexing her fingers through the doton jutsu Koichi had mastered not too long ago and picking her spot carefully.

Han slid backwards from a forceful hit by Chouza's bō to his chest, and tilted with a jerk of surprise as the hard-packed ground beneath him gave way under his heavy armor. As the only ninjutsu he had been watching for was the wind from the fūinjutsu user and the shadows from the farther back Nara.

Natsumi wrenched her chakra out of the ground before he could recover and yank himself out of the mire, solidifying it just in time for the Akimichi's two-handed swing into his back.

Chouza broke his staff, but Han's steaming apparatus on his back also cracked.

The jinchūriki recovered fast, if that had done anything at all to the man within the armor, surging forward to haul himself upright and out of the rocky ground to avoid Shikaku's next stab at him. Han clacked a bit but landed a hit on the Akimichi's stomach armor, budging the taijutsu specialist back a bare inch and letting the armored shinobi get out of reach.

Minato tried to intercept, but had to get out of the way of a lash of boiling steam or get hit in the face with it.

Natsumi listened hard, but she couldn't hear either the hiss of steam or the clacking the jinchūriki's armor had done after Chouza's hit. Instead she slumped in place, one arm wrapped around her abused ribs and the other still holding her katana, and huffed painfully until a medic reached her.

(ooo000ooo)

"It's not that bad." Natsumi carefully held herself upright, as strapped ribs were painful if you slouched. "It's certainly not the first time I've had this happen, Shika."

"Rather common as an injury, really." Chouza remarked lightly from the other side of the campfire, holding himself just as still as the medic wrapped his own chest to keep the reset bones in place before having them healed up as far as bone like to. "I'm just glad the winded part of getting hit in the chest goes away fast."

There was a lot of flesh showing around their little bit of the division's encampment, but unfortunately it wasn't because they were overly warm. It was actually cooler than they liked, to the point the kunoichi had demanded her husband's help in keeping warm.

Chouza was bare-chested to allow the medics at him, Natsumi had very little beyond the bandages covering her upper body as her ribs set back into place naturally, and even Minato had to strip his shirt off for the medics to reach his injuries. Once she could breathe again she waved them on for the time being, as her injuries weren't nearly as painful as either shinobi still being treated.

"That, and the bruising." The assassin agreed wryly, touching where she had a large purple and yellow bruise over her stomach just recently. "Internal injuries aren't a picnic, either."

Han's visit had stalled the division, they hadn't bothered trying to be stealthy anymore or hiding where they were. They got about a few good miles from where the jinchūriki had encountered them and struck camp again, tending to the four jōnin that took on the demon container in armor and ended up injured for it.

Inoichi had been the first one injured, but also the first one seen by the iryou-nin with them. Han's surprise attack had caught more than just Natsumi and Shikaku unaware. The mind walker ended up with lacerations and bruising from when the armored shinobi hit ground and mule kicked him backwards into a rocky cliff the camp had sheltered under. He still wasn't awake yet, but the iryou-nin said he would in the morning.

Chouza and Minato had burns, mostly on or around the hands but a few in more awkward places like across the back or along a leg.

The Akimichi clan head also had several cracked bones to add to a myriad of bruising, small bleeding burns, and a ruined set of his clan's armor. But cracked were easier for medics to heal than broken, as solid bone regenerated slower than cartilage or tendons did.

"So…" Minato drawled as the medic behind him healed up the scorched skin along his spine. "Who was that?"

"You don't know?" Natsumi asked, surprised. Did that mean the burns he had been getting had been from Rōshi?

"Do you?"

"Hmm… Minato, we both listened to the rumors about him about a month ago. Red armor, ruthless, _jinchūriki of the five-tails?_ Ring a bell?"

"That was Han-san?" The blond asked with some surprise of his own, almost straightening up before the iryou-nin irritably pushed him back down so he could see better. "I had been expecting someone… slower."

"Armor isn't usually a good sign of fast shinobi, no." Shikaku interjected dryly. "No offense, Chouza."

"None taken. I know I can be a bit slow in the field." He returned easily, sorting through his scrolls of sealed foodstuffs for something to rebuild the energy he had used up fighting earlier. "I would just like to know why he broke off so suddenly. That last kick he gave me cracked through my armor easily, he probably could've done more damage if he hung around."

"I think you broke his armor, when you broke your bō across his back." Natsumi suggested slowly, puzzling over the same question. "It started clacking after that, and the steam started pouring out faster."

"That last bit of steam was also the worst." Minato added dryly, jerking a thumb behind him where the medic was still working on him. "Think it was because he was losing too much to want to keep it around?"

"Probably, if the armor was broken." Shikaku mused, rubbing his larger hands up and down his wife's naked arms. "That was way too much hot water not to need a method of heating and storage outside of what he could get naturally."

"You are healed, Minato-san." Gorou, the medic behind the fūinjutsu user, suddenly spoke up. He got to his feet, looking over at the Nara couple. "Are you sure you can wait until morning, Natsumi-sama?"

"I'll live, now that I can breathe again. Do me a favor and go check on Inoichi's head before you turn in, though."

The medic nodded and handed back Minato's blue, long-sleeved shirt before leaving them for his other patient.

The blond redressed himself, and the medic tending to Chouza's collection of battle wounds also rose to her feet. "That is as much as I can do for tonight, Chouza-sama. My apologies."

"Not a problem, Kiku-san." The Akimichi clan head just shrugged at her. "I know how it is. Like Natsumi, I can wait until morning for the rest if you need to."

The young kunoichi bowed to them both. "Our thanks for the understanding. I will see you _both_ in the morning."

Natsumi frowned lightly at her back as she walked away. "Anyone else hear that like it was a threat?"

Shikaku snickered. "Naw… Natsu. What would the nice medics threaten a pair of jōnin over?"

"Because maybe some shinobi had a bad habit of avoiding them?" Minato asked lightly, straightening out his spine after being hunched over so Gorou could reach all of it and see by firelight. "But sempai wouldn't do that, even if she was sneaking off to see a different medic."

The assassin scowled at the blond, since he was the only one in front of her. "So I preferred Horse or Mouse to heal me if I have the choice. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Unless you dodge the medics that like to ensure the injury is fixed."

She drove an elbow backwards into her husband's gut. "I don't avoid medics. They just kept missing me."

"Sure they do, Natsu." Shikaku ignored the slight sting of her elbow impacting his stomach and helped her back into her clothing now that they knew she wouldn't get more help until tomorrow. "And Tsunade-sama never had to pin you down so one or two could finally finish whichever report they were writing into your medical file."

"Oh… was _that_ what they wanted with me?"

Minato pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed a laugh. "You didn't know? Then why did you avoid them?"

"Because I didn't know." She shrugged, winced, and held herself straight to not jar her ribs again. "I was… conditioned to avoid medics without a good reason… a long ass while ago."

Shikaku and Minato exchanged a surprised look.

"Good reason from you, or from them?"

"From me." Natsumi clarified, looking up into her husband's face. "Why?"

"Just wondering why you would do that." The blond spoke next, scratching the back of his head. "But if it wasn't to just avoid medical, why do it at all?"

"Malingering by medical excuse was almost taboo. We had a bit of a problem with that way back when."

"Huh…" Shikaku grunted, poking her on the nose. "Stop avoiding the medics."

She tried to bite him, but he yanked the finger away too fast. "I'll try. No promises, that's a conditioned habit that'll take a bit to break."

Minato smiled, creepily. "We'll help, sempai."

Natsumi eyed him warily. "Joy…"

\V/

They didn't see Han again by the time the five of them got orders to come home, but the interception by jinchūriki did mean they ended up fighting Iwa more than scouting Earth for the rest of the month.

Their division couldn't get much farther without being besieged by moving rock and dirt, to the point they had to call in some backup from a nearby division. The fact so much pressure was being put on them by Rock made Shikaku and most of the other tactical inclined ninja there think they may actually be on the right path this time.

By the time they got the orders to break off fighting for the time being, Natsumi got fed up with seeing her kouhai coming back to camp occasionally with burns and demanded to know what the hell he was doing that cause it all.

The blond abruptly wrenched the two of them away from camp, sheepishly scratching the back of his head when he let the irate assassin go. "Look… I had an idea."

"Again?" She narrowed her eyes on him. "This had better be better than the squirrel idea, or I'm denting your head."

Minato rocked back on his heels, frowning faintly. "You know all the jinchūriki we've been meeting? B-san of Kumo, Rōshi-san and Han-san of Iwa… I don't think you were with me when I met Yugito-san. But I got the idea from her and B-san when you were injured after Orochimaru attacked you."

Natsumi arched an eyebrow.

"So… have you ever seen a tailed-beast ball?"

"A what?"

"I'll take that as a no." He frowned faintly staring up at the cliffs above them. "Basically, I believe it's just compressed chakra a jinchūriki can throw… or spit, as the case may be."

"Wait… _that?_ " The assassin had never seen it up close… but… "Okay, I know what you're talking about. What about it?"

"I've been… trying to mimic it with my own chakra." Minato informed her lightly, warily watching her expression.

Natsumi was pretty sure her expression was blank. Because… _holy crap_. He was talking about the initial attempts for the _Rasengan_ technique he developed. That Naruto finished and did so much with it was _unreal_.

"You've… you're attempting to mimic something a jinchūriki _can only do_ in tailed-beast form… by yourself?"

He nodded.

"And… there's no one watching you to ensure it doesn't blow up in your face and horribly injure you, maybe even to the point of painful death."

He blinked a few times. "Ah… knew I forgot something."

Natsumi drew a hand down her face. "Kami-sama, Minato. Is there a reason for that?"

"I don't know if it will work?" He asked uncertainly, rubbing the back of his head. "I know it possible, in a way, but not if I can do it. I didn't want to draw attention to it until I knew either way."

She drew in a breath, trying not to laugh. "Minato… really."

"What?"

"It's a great idea. I'm honestly impressed beyond words you thought of it." The assassin spoke frankly, trying not to laugh. "But… me or sensei. Someone needs to ensure the hime doesn't lose her boyfriend to painful, self-inflicted injuries."

Minato winced, looking sheepish. "Sorry. But… you approve?"

"If you can do it, it would be pretty damn awesome to see." Natsumi shrugged, rubbing at the left side of her face. "If you can, that is. Either way, the idea will do nothing if you don't try to attempt it. So try it, see if it's possible… but there's a reason why most jutsu inventing is left up to R&D. This kind of thing can explode, usually in some very… interesting ways."

He was silent a moment. "Sensei's going to hit me, isn't he?"

"Well… yeah. You're screwed." She patted him on the back lightly, snickering as she started walking back to camp. "But… you do fully deserve it."

"Come on! You said it was a good idea!"

"Yes… but your execution needs work."

Minato slumped, scowling. "That… isn't very helpful, sempai."

She stopped, turning to face him fully. "I'm going to have _nightmares_ of you blowing yourself up, or carving off skin, or a whole host of other nasty things that can happen when inventing new jutsus on purpose. You didn't even have anyone watching for injury, so we wouldn't have known about any injury you might've caused yourself until way too late to help you. You're going to scare the piss out of Jiraiya-sensei, because his head is going to go in the same direction mine had. Tell me you think getting smacked upside the head isn't worth assuaging some of that, and I'll distract sensei for you so you can avoid him for a few days."

He grimaced, but sighed. "I can't say that. I'm sorry for the scare, sempai."

"There's a reason shinobi do everything in groups, and not because it's easier to share the blame." Natsumi told him dryly as she started walking again. "But it's easier to cover for anything going wrong when it happens. You did your hiraishin seal with Kushina-hime originally. That was great. You showed me and sensei, and we helped you iron out the kinks later on. But… do you recall the third error the kunai caused when we were playing around with how to cause the pull? Had that been any closer, kouhai, it wouldn't have just ruined my shirt. You would've had two halves of an assassin. This is sort of like that."

"Do… you think Kushina's going to be mad?"

"Mmm… maybe. Depends on how badly you scare her. If she goes stark white when you tell her, you might be sleeping on the couch for a little while."

"Really?"

"For all of three minutes, maybe. Then she'll want to reassure herself that you are alive, and keep coming out to check on you until you get fed up and make her sleep with you on the couch."

Minato huffed lightly. "You are scarily good at predicting my hime's behavior, sempai."

"The joys of psychology talents and innate knowledge of the kunoichi in question." Natsumi sighed, rubbing at her face. "The hime is… very fussy when she's concerned but unable to hold whatever is concerning her."

"True." He mused from behind her. "Can I ask a question?"

"You just did."

"Another one, then."

"Technically-"

" _Sempai._ "

"Yeah, Minato, ask your question."

"When did you see a tailed-beast ball?"

Natsumi risked a look behind her, but Minato looked more interested in the sky than her. "I don't know which one I saw, but large and the sheer chakra it put off was kinda hard for the squad to miss. Your tailed-beast ball is what I'm assuming the black blob of chakra it swallowed and then belched to blow up the terrain with."

"Belched?"

"It was either that or throw up. I'd rather it be belched, thanks."

"That's… disgusting, sempai."

"As disgusting as my suiton jutsu in a desert cheat?"

"I am _never_ forgiving you for that one, just so you know."

\V/

"Home sweet home."

"Idle question, hubby mine." Natsumi asked lightly as Shikaku pulled down the space-time seals Minato made up to keep the house clean while they were gone. "I'm not going to be put under guard again, am I?"

"Don't tempt me."

She pursed her lips at his back as he finally opened their front door. "That… Shika, really? It won't do much now, and nothing did happen before. I occasionally get checked up on by ANBU patrols already, I don't need a constant bodyguard."

"Which is why I'm not going to insist, because I know you'll be careful." The head of the Nara clan watched her closely as he held the door open for her. "You _will_ be careful, right?"

"That's not always possible." Natsumi swept up a few letters that had finally fallen to the floor when the seal compressing time had been removed and started flicking through them. "I'm not going to be somehow able to sense when someone's coming after me, and a few things I tend to do can't be done under watch. Visible bodyguards are just… too much of a target for ninja. I can do a couple days once in a while, if you insist, but I will _not_ be nice if you think assigning me a bodyguard will work."

"I know it won't work." Shikaku sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he watched her. "You attract too much damn attention."

"I fully blame Minato."

He blinked, taking the two letters she slapped into his chest absently. "Why?"

"Because if not for him, I might not have ever really left ANBU the first time." The assassin shrugged, waving around her one letter as if to encompass the time between that long ago incident and now. "You know what? I also blame sensei for some of this. He's the one that encouraged me to stay out to the point I just flip-flop between jōnin and ANBU."

Shikaku tilted his head in question, opening one of the letters on his way to the study. "That still didn't answer my question."

Natsumi sighed, following him through the house. "The Kumo kidnapping attempt on the hime. Minato went after her, I went after him and I ended up getting benched for it. Not just biding my time for the rest of genin rank then going straight back into ANBU full time."

"And Jiraiya-sama?"

"Was the one to encourage me to keep up with my non-ANBU side projects." She finished dryly. "I will fully admit that if he hadn't I might have done it anyways, because spending time with you all was getting fun, but he was the one to plant the idea in my head first."

"Remind me to thank them, then."

Natsumi stuck her tongue out at him as she sprawled out on the couch.

"…why would you have gone back?"

"Hmm?" She blinked as she looked up from the letter Sasori wrote to her, peering over to her husband.

He had opened both letters he had received during the time they had been in Earth, and seemed to be drafting a reply to one of them. "To ANBU? Why go back full time once you got promoted?"

"I… didn't really see a reason to not, really." Natsumi spoke slowly, trying to recall her thoughts on where her career was going a little under ten years ago. "You all didn't have much need of me after the academy, and Minato was doing pretty good on his own under Jiraiya-sensei. So I was going to leave it at that, because it was a little awkward for me to hang out with all of you."

"So what happened to that?"

"Besides getting slapped with 'reckless endangerment'? Umm… sensei happened." She shrugged, unable to phrase it better. "He… I don't know… kept me interested? …something like that. Jiraiya-sensei kept talking to me about you all, and since he did I kept finding reasons to visit you all. I got a bit… attached, before we hit chūnin."

Shikaku looked over at her for a moment. "Attached?"

She pouted at the letters in her hands. "Yeah, attached. I liked talking with sensei about things that would probably never be seen again, and playing games with you, or cooking for Chouza. Minato and Inoichi were pretty damn amusing as genin too. Then Fugaku wanted to poke my kinjutsu, and both my kouhai and Kushina-hime wanted to know how this or that worked when they tried supporting themselves for the first time. It just all kept piling up from there. So when we did make chūnin, I wanted to keep up with that instead of diving back into what I had been doing in ANBU."

"I've been meaning to ask you, but what do you want to do with your career?" He turned around fully to face her, leaving the half-finished letter alone. "I know you want to retire, but when?"

"Five or some odd years, for ANBU." Natsumi rubbed the side of her nose thoughtfully. "I… intend to finish out the Third War. So however long this is, and then maybe a year or so on top of that to set my retirement requirements up for ANBU. We've got to train a replacement up, if we get captain rank. I've got my eye on Koichi-kun. Gai-kun won't probably follow him into it, but Ibiki-kun might. By then my jōnin retirement would be set too for whenever I want to let that go, I'm betting on Gai-kun to hit our rank first. So… huh. Plans."

"That's pretty detailed."

"I've been getting injured too much. My luck is probably going to run out at an awkward time and kill me if I keep pressing it." She told him frankly.

That would also get Minato all the way through and up to his Hokage appointment. Her last fiddly year of ANBU might be stretched out enough to ensure he survived the first year of being Hokage, and then she would hopefully live out the rest of her life as just a kenjutsu using jōnin kunoichi.

Natsumi had doubts it would all work out like that. "If I can, anyways. But given how most of my long-term plans end up, it probably all won't work out like that."

"How do your long-term plans end up?"

"My first one? Minato and Jiraiya-sensei kicked that off the bandwagon. My second one? You and taicho. The third one I was going along with until recently? My genin team. Three out of four plans for my life ended up getting derailed, and odds are this one will go like that too."

He laughed at her, and she just shrugged as she waited for him to calm down.

Natsumi already came to terms with the shifting aims her life revolved around. She had fully intended to disappear into ANBU once Minato let her go after the academy, and Jiraiya really had smashed that to a pulp once he got hold of her. Shikaku probably hadn't realized she was easing back into ANBU around the time he proposed, and then Sakumo survived somehow and she realized exactly what kind of effect she already had on this life. So she had kept up with that, because it seemed to be working.

All the way up until she ran smack-dab into Orochimaru and his little experimentation project. That had done more than just set her back physically, she had to rethink a lot of her plans.

It was why she was leaving the rest of her investigation into Danzō up to Jiraiya. That Village Elder might be old, but he was still a titanic figure of a shinobi. She had already fought someone above her rank and skill, only random factors of where and when had kept her mostly alive through it. It wasn't something she wanted to try again, especially given how fast Han had knocked her out of the fight a month ago.

Her little retirement plan was probably an overly optimistic look at how long she might be able to keep up with the shinobi around her. She was starting to get left behind by more than just her little blind spot and her previous injuries, Minato and Chouza could directly fight someone that got in a lucky hit and took out both her and Inoichi pretty much after one another. Shikaku had managed to cover both her and his downed teammate, but other than a single C-rank doton jutsu that only worked for a few seconds Natsumi had been pretty useless in that fight.

She was instead going to start easing herself out of shinobi life. She was a damn good jōnin, and a very good ANBU captain if she was any good judge of herself, but not quite on the level Minato would reach. Not even at Kushina's, with her own little cheat. They were now all young adults, they were starting to realize exactly how skilled they might get if they just pushed a bit harder.

However, Natsumi she was crafty, clever, and sly where they were forceful and skilled. Still a threat, no matter how much of the actual fighting she left up to her now very skilled kouhai or her husband and his team. She was going to start spreading out and double-checking the shadows for them, since that was where she excelled the most in this life. But since even that held it's own risks, she was going to slow down a bit and ensure she was doing it right the first time.

After kicking Danzō out of her shadows, because that old man was starting to lose it. He was a damn good shinobi, and a perfectly intimidating figure, but he was starting to get into things that would harm Konohagakure in the long run. Like trying to isolate the Uchihas, most likely encouraging Orochimaru's deviation into medical experimentation, probably sending someone to help Hanzō attempt to murder Jiraiya's other students, and a few other nasty things no one should've tried or even thought of.

Her plans still might not be enough to keep her alive for much longer, but she'd call it good if it kept Minato or Shikaku alive beyond what they would do alone.

Even then, that plan might get derailed because of a sour old man with red eyes, or maybe another sour old man with one eye. The assassin wasn't very hopeful she would live much beyond any attempt Madara made for Kushina and Kurama if Minato wasn't ready for it, and Danzō was more than just a thorn in her side now.

She couldn't keep thinking like that though, because it was a little depressive.

"I've been doing more administrative work for ANBU recently, so they might be of the opinion that my days of being their little assassin are over." Natsumi rubbed the back of her neck, frowning. "How rude… they could've at least told me."

Shikaku raised an eyebrow, smirking. "I'm impressed that they got that one pass you, and I think I may actually like ANBU a little now."

She huffed. "Real cute, Shika. Well? What about you?"

"What about me?"

The assassin rolled her eyes. "What are you planning on for the next few years? I know you do a lot of work for Tactical and Intelligence, so are you going to make that into something you'd do for your old age or what?"

" _Old age?_ " He repeated dryly, giving her an arched look over his own paperwork. "I'm barely pass twenty-one."

"Yeah, you say that now. And in three years you'll be wondering where the all damn time went as you stare down twenty-five." Natsumi rolled her eyes at him. "I've been here before, Shika, I know how it works. Well… actually, I'm two years shy of fifty. Huh… damn."

He laughed at her again. "I'll think about something. What are you going to do if you do retire? I can't see you sitting around the house all day. You hated it when you just did it for about four days."

"A desk job, probably." She scratched at her cheek thoughtfully. "Probably somewhere in Intelligence, or maybe Inoichi can get me something in T&I. Paperwork… joy. But it'll be something to do, other than sit around and feel useless."

\V/

"You're back for good, right?"

Natsumi eyed Koichi, confused. "Well… for about half a year for sure. Then it happens all over again, Koichi-kun. Next time you might be coming with me, if you make chūnin sometime in that."

"How will that work?" Ibiki asked sourly. "There's not any exams held for promotion anymore."

"Mission work." The assassin informed the no-longer-so-little infiltrator. "You complete a set amount of missions of whatever type, you'll get a field promotion. We're a scouting team, therefore…?"

"We get enough scouting missions done and we'll get promoted?" The scout asked incredulously. "That's it?"

"In a nutshell. A few other types of missions won't hurt, and picking up some other skills will just make you all look better. But chūnin field promotions are controlled by the village, and at the moment we don't have a reason to go lightly on those."

"And we have been working on missions while you were away, sensei!" Gai leapt up from his seat, almost knocking the food on the table off in his excitement. "That was brilliant, tasking Tsume-sempai to ensure we did not fall behind!"

"Actually, sit down Gai-kun," Natsumi waited until the taijutsu user sat, "you're all a bit ahead of the curve. Reason for that is because I'm not allowed to run missions for a little bit."

"None?" Ibiki shot upright, concerned.

The assassin blinked. What the hell had the genin's mother done for the last half year if she still wasn't working? "Well… we have a diplomatic one coming up, but after that you'll be running missions without me for a month or two."

Koichi frowned suspiciously. " _We_ have a diplomatic mission?"

"Well… _I_ have a diplomatic mission. To Suna. I thought you three might like to come with me and set Komushi up, and tour a bit of Wind Country before you need to go out there."

"Oh."

Natsumi barely managed not to roll her eyes at her forever wary scout. "Of course, if you'd rather not…"

"We'll go."

The reply was in triplicate, and at three different ways. Koichi had been apologetic, Gai enthusiastic, and Ibiki desperate.

She pressed her lips together in a fine line. She definitely had to go see a certain civilian about her working situation.

"The mission is in three weeks, because I did just get back to Konoha and Komushi's return had been pushed back somewhat. Tsume had already picked up another mission for you all before we got home, so she'll be taking you on a quick, week-long run to scout out the way in three days. Plan accordingly."

"Hai, sensei."

"And stop that, you're all giving me a headache."

Her boys gave her a grin as they quickly polished off the lunch she had bought them, and Natsumi really did roll her eyes at them as she settled the bill with the waitress.

They may be getting taller, but they were still her little brats.

She made some plans to go see Kamioka while the team was missing from the village, because that was a little concerning.

What had the civilian woman done, if not start working to help Ibiki support the family?

\V/

" _Retirement?_ " Inoichi asked incredulously. "Natsumi wants to retire."

"Yep."

"Huh." Jiraiya rubbed his jawline, frowning thoughtfully. "That… makes a bit of sense."

"But that will be a bit odd." Minato tacked on, confusion stamped on his face. "Sempai being retired. Why?"

"Because, and here I'll quote, _I've been getting injured too much._ " Shikaku blandly told the three of them. "And she has, she even got bumped from ANBU for it. I asked her for a bit more information, and she told me that she had been fighting already for about thirty years. Natsu would very much like to retire and get a less violent job, and maybe raise a few kids too."

"That's a lot better than what I was afraid of." Inoichi told him seriously, rubbing at his temple where he was still nursing a migraine. Han's back kick had done more than just knock the interrogator out, Inoichi was now prone to headaches that could turn to migraines if he wasn't careful. Tsunade had promised to take a look at it in a month if they didn't fade, but until then all the Yamanaka clan head could do was try to avoid aggravating it. "While it is an end in a way, not a personal one. Given how much she managed to unnerve herself about the assassination-capable side of herself, I was worried she might make it more permanent before she accidently harmed someone."

"Neko-chan's starting to parcel out what she's been doing, too." The white haired sannin added slowly. "She gave me the Danzō and _Ne_ investigation, saying while she didn't have motive she was putting him behind a little theory of hers. And while I don't believe for a damn moment she's not going to poke it with me, she's probably going to leave anything dangerous to me and just keep anything else from jumping out."

"She hasn't done anything with the academy responsibility she has." Minato reminded them all dryly. He officially now had a student, and Kakashi had looked pretty damn unamused at the whole idea.

"But that's personal, not professional." Inoichi remarked with a snort and a wince. "She'll probably never give that one up unless she has to."

"What else would we know of, if she's letting go of professional duties?" Shikaku asked of them all. "She's ANBU, there isn't a whole lot we can look at there. I don't think I know of anyone else that's in ANBU except Sakumo-sama, and he's retired already."

"Our little baited trap?"

The three other shinobi paused and looked at the blond fūinjutsu user.

Minato shrugged. "She's doing it with both Shikaku and the Uchiha couple. Had that theft happened a few years ago, what would've sempai done about it?"

"Probably hunt whoever it was down within ANBU." Jiraiya scratched the back of his shaggy head. "I see you're point. She's been backing off for a while now, hasn't she?"

The Yamanaka clan head nodded slowly. "Gradually, but yeah."

"I still think it's going to be damn weird." Minato groused as he peeled up his fūinjutsu master's seal. "Sempai retiring. She's always been the first one into something, not having her there is going to be a bit strange."

"Well… think of it like this. She's the first to retire." Shikaku told him with a snort. "Honestly? I think I like the idea. She has been getting majorly injured a lot."


	15. Laying the Trap

_Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans._

_\- Allen Saunders_

* * *

"Tsume-sempai! If we do not impress you on this mission, we will- _gurk!_ "

"Nice one, Ibiki." The Inuzuka alpha noted dryly as the named genin put the taijutsu user in a headlock, rubbing at her ear. "Calm down, gakis. Yeah, it's the last mission you'll be running with me. I'm already damned impressed. We do not need to impress sempai anymore."

Natsumi coughed, biting back a snicker as she strolled up to where the team was standing before the village gates. " _Aww_ … but Tsume, I wanted to _hear_ it…"

The wild kunoichi glared at her, curling a lip up in a grinning jeer. "I'm sure you did. But hell no. I've heard enough of it."

Koichi just sighed, helping the infiltrator restrain the thirteen-year-old taijutsu user. Gai was getting pretty strong, and he was damn certain his teammate was _allowing_ them to silence him occasionally.

"If you insist." The jōnin kunoichi that actually was assigned to lead Team Nine shrugged easily, turning to her team of genin with a fond smirk. "Gakis, listen up."

Ibiki let Gai's head go, and all three of them looked up to their actual team leader.

Koichi was just counting the days until they would have to watch out for the kunoichi trying to cut them off at the knees. Since it looked to be either of his other teammates would reach that point first, he figured he would be pretty safe as the currently shortest male on Team Nine.

Of course, given how tall his father was, that may not save him at all in the end.

"Things to watch for. You might be patrolling the area between Konohagakure and our border with Wind Country, but that doesn't always mean it's safe. That's actually the best spot for ambushes, and there is a diplomatic mission coming up between Leaf and Sand that has gained some international interest. You catch anything on this mission, it will be less likely to come up in our next one." Their jōnin-sensei informed them all dryly, looking between them as Tsume rolled her eyes behind her. "So, although it is the last mission you're running with 'Tsume-sempai', keep a sharp eye out. Foiling ambushes before they can be set up is a good thing, especially if we're going to be traveling with both a politically protected chūnin and the Third Hokage through the area later."

"Otou-sama's coming?" Koichi asked, surprised.

"The Third Kazekage brought Komushi here." Natsumi shrugged, waving one hand around. "We're going to be polite and take him back the same way."

"Sucks to be you all, then." Tsume interjected with a huff, moving forward so suddenly even Kuromaru was surprised. "Let's go, we've got some ground to cover before we run into the patrol we're relieving."

The kenjutsu using kunoichi just laughed lightly, waving the rest of them to follow after the tracker. "Go, behave. Watch each other's backs, please."

"We will make you proud, sensei, with our Youthful Hard Work!"

"I'm already rather proud of that, Gai-kun."

Koichi, who had been in the middle of reaching back to drag his teammate forward after their temporary team leader in irritation, almost tripped backwards out of shock.

"You kept up with all this pretty damn well. Even if you could've just rejected Tsume as a team leader in my place and muddled along yourselves while I was gone." Natsumi informed all three of them lightly. "Yeah, I fiddled with a few things to help you out, but you kept up with it all on your own. That's impressive, especially for genin still feeling their way to the responsibilities they have. Now, Tsume looks to be getting rather impatient. You all should go catch up."

Gai had to be the one to drag his teammates to where the other jōnin kunoichi was standing, waiting on them.

Ibiki looked pretty damned shocked, and Koichi probably didn't look much better.

Was that all it took to get the odd taijutsu user focused back on what they were supposed to be doing?

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi waved her genin team through the main village gates, dropping her hand with a frown as soon as they and Tsume were out of sight.

Gai looked to be still reeling from his grandfather's death, not anywhere near as manic as he had been just after but still somewhat. Kakashi might have taken on and dealt with the brunt of that initially, but since the two of them switched to pretending to be rivals Gai had started tempering his usual antics a bit. He had been attempting to act normally around her like he did before, when honorable Hiroshi-jii-sama had been alive, but that last little slip told her he wasn't at all at ease as he pretended to be with his new circumstances. His expression when she told him she was proud had been conflicted, half-ashamed and half-desperate for a moment before he recovered his mental balance.

She considered that, what might help him, and found a possible course of action in a training exercise Jiraiya once did with her genin team. Everyone was a bit different after being sleep deprived, and the added stress might make Gai spill his problems to the rest of the team. She could even talk it out with him beforehand, give him a possible outlet the team could try for him once said blowup happened.

They really should learn how to deal with sleep deprivation before they had to do it on a mission, and how to keep awake if they weren't in friendly or secured territory.

…sleep deprivation training with her genin team. The same conditioning task that once made Minato decide on trying to seal living animals into a storage scroll because it would be interesting to try.

With a fūinjutsu capable infiltrator with family problems, a highly personally wary scout, and a taijutsu user that might still be grieving and suppressing it.

Would holding that in the Forty-Fourth training grounds be considered a bit overkill?

Gai was getting _powerful_ after half a year of complete physical training to assist his role as the main combatant of the genin team. With what the kid could do with chakra assistance was getting even better, and the taijutsu user had to be a bit more careful with his training weapons or he tended to break the lighter training bō frequently. The nunchaku held up better, but even they had gotten cracked and splintered a few times so far under his zest for training himself up. Natsumi was starting to wonder if that zest was covering for something, like rage or grief Gai was dealing with and didn't want to advertise to the team when they couldn't do much about it.

Ibiki was still a surly and grumpy little brat, but he was learning how to channel that into being a sadistic opponent as well as a sly one. With both kunoichi leading the team as examples to draw from, he was learning how to be just that much creepy or intimidating to scare others easily or what methods worked to startle or unnerve others so he can use that. His work with her, Komushi, and Kushina had helped him up to using premade sealing tags pretty frequently. They were mostly of his sensei's stock, Natsumi's explosive or secrecy seals, but he had a few barriers from Kushina and a few more paralyzing tags from Minato.

Koichi was more… settled, now. He knew his teammates didn't care in the slightest who his father was, and liked him because he was a damn good scout on the team. He was speedy and accurate, secure in his place as the Intel gatherer of the team they relied on as well as the fastest member among the genin. Working under Tsume had helped him deal with some of his overly suspicious nature, because Inuzukas didn't give a damn who's kid you were and had no problem telling people that.

It would be a bit awkward to slip back into being the jōnin team leader, but Koichi already knew her and had already dealt with his suspicions of her motivations, so there shouldn't be any major problems.

Natsumi was also wondering where the hell the time had gone. She had left them for Lightning, three genin that still were rough around the edges and a bit unwilling to live in each other's pockets like a team usually ended up doing after a while. She came back for a brief visit before going to Earth and they were a bit better, still awkward and a little rough but starting to rub off the edges to fit together smoothly. Now they almost clicked, knowing how or when to move to support each other and starting to develop team-centric habits and traditions.

She owed Tsume a lot for this. For taking on the team building aspect of genin team training when she couldn't.

On the other hand… if they didn't stop growing, she might actually start getting annoyed with them. They were no longer her adorable, little preteen boys that could kick some civilian ass, but gangly teenagers starting to get lethal.

Natsumi mentally filed away the plans for Gai, turning her attention to Ibiki's possible home-life problem.

She had a few things to poke then a civilian to go see.

(ooo000ooo)

Kamioka frowned delicately.

Natsumi wasn't impressed with her… at all.

"You _think_ I can't do anything about this. I can, but it will be something none of us like much." The assassin stated bluntly, blank-faced and bland. "You are taking advantage of Ibiki, and as his jōnin-sensei I've got space to work within to ensure you don't do it anymore. Ibiki loves you, yeah. You're his okaa-san, had raised him up and kept him alive and fed after his otou-san died. I wanted to keep you alive for him because he loves you, which was why I did so much to help him out with this. Yes, a chūnin of the jōnin-track can support three people if needed. No, I'm not going to let him do it alone. Either it will be me or you, but if it's me I'm going to make sure Idate-chan isn't left with you either."

The civilian woman stiffened, glaring at the jōnin kunoichi that invaded her home.

Said kunoichi thought it was almost like a little kitten trying to play-fight with an adult. Adorable and pathetic.

"So, you now have a choice, Kamioka-san. Get a job and help Ibiki support you all, or lose your kids."

"Ibiki-kun would never-"

"He won't have a _choice_." Natsumi narrowed her eyes at the suddenly pale woman. "Yeah, he'll hate me for it. Honestly? I would rather he not have to deal with a lazy okaa-san mooching off him, and I could live with him hating me. It'll break up my team, I will probably not be happy with any civilian for a good while, but _you'll still be alone and broke_."

Kamioka stared, stunned. After a moment she rallied, color suffusing her face as she opened her mouth to argue.

The assassin wasn't going to let that happen. "Don't bother trying to blackmail me over this, I'm telling Ibiki everything when the team comes home. He'll probably end up resenting you for it all once he hears."

She blanched, and Natsumi was disgusted. The civilian had _known_ she was abusing Ibiki's faith and trust in her, and had done it anyways.

It would be a difficult conversation, to get the surly infiltrator to listen to her, but the assassin was sure she could get the teen to hear it all.

Not a fun moment for either one of them, but it had to happen or the problem would never get fixed.

The ANBU captain got to her feet in one smooth movement, making her motions more loose and fluid to suggest lethality to the civilian. "Get a job, Kamioka-san, and you'll probably never see me again. Either way, Ibiki will still know what you did. I hope you can live with that."

She shunshined out of the apartment, not even bothering to show the usual respect or curtsey a guest normally showed to the host before leaving.

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku almost missed his mouth.

Natsumi sighed heavily, tilting his chopsticks back so he wouldn't drop the noodles on his lap. "That wasn't my initial expression… but a close one, I suppose."

"You probably did the ANBU face thing, Natsu. You do it whenever you encounter something you dislike at first." He lowered the utensils back down to his bowl, a frown starting to form on his face. "She was really doing that? _Why?_ "

"Because it was easier than working, of course. And while I can see taking a small break from worrying about their finances, half a year is a little… _excessive_ to just sit around and do nothing."

The Nara clan head turned a bit more to his wife, ignoring the lunch she had made them for the moment. "That… still doesn't make sense. I can see why it would be easier, but once the pressure let off her why didn't she start looking for a way to help out and make it even easier on both her and Ibiki?"

"Civilians." She drummed her fingers on the tabletop, her own food untouched as she worried the problem in her head. "They're… some women are taught to let the male head of house support them. The more traditional civilians would think Kamioka was fully in her right to allow her son to support them. Up until they learned said son was a barely thirteen-year-old boy. Our ninja thing makes it a bit more blurry, because we're considered adult the moment we earn our hitai-ate. So Ibiki was the current head of the family, but technically too young yet to be responsible for a family. It would get even more muddy if you take into account Idate-chan, because then Kamioka was doing the right thing in raising him while her family head worked. But, again, Ibiki really is too young to be that main support for her."

Shikaku was silent a moment, working that information into what he knew. "Can you do anything about that, legally?"

"Err… I might have fudged that a bit." Natsumi ran her fingers though her loose hair sheepishly. "Technically I can't do anything right now. But there are a lot of non-legal ways to affect that situation. Morally mostly, I can spread rumors around and get her pressured by her own social peers to take on more responsibility. If it gets bad enough to the point of mission endangerment, then I can legally take Ibiki and Idate-chan out of that situation."

"So… what did you do?"

"Threatened Kamioka-san a little." She shrugged, a little depressed about how this had worked out. "Told her I would be telling Ibiki when he and the rest of the team comes back. Right now, I'm hoping her love of her family will force her to make some reparations to her son and secure an actual job. But… if she was perfectly content to allow Ibiki to support them all, I'm not very encouraged with that plan. She might try to wiggle through it all to keep her cushy place as just the okaa-san, not a working woman."

"Natsu," Shikaku pulled her out of her seat and set her in his lap, "you can't fix everything. Yeah, this was a pretty bad abuse of the help you gave one of your genin. And helping Ibiki decide what he wants to do about it will not be pleasant. But you can really only help others out so much, sometimes these things need to be dealt with between the individuals themselves."

"But… she's his _kaa-san!_ " Natsumi had very good memories of her first mother. They might be hazy and foggy now, but recalling Iris Hanson and what she and Fiona had done together were still things that could make her smile fondly. She had very few memories of Mesuji Mana, but the kunoichi that was her second mother seemed to have been happy and delighted with her daughter as a toddler. Eri was another of those mothers like her first; warm, caring, and easy to talk to. Kamioka… wasn't one the assassin liked now. "That's not something Ibiki deserves."

"And some people just plainly suck as human beings." He told her frankly, frowning faintly at how she gripped the front of his shirt. "Yeah, it's the okaa-san of one of your genin. And that's not going to be pleasant to deal with. But the gaki's got you and the other two to balance it all out."

"No one deserves to be taken advantage of by their own kaa-san, Shika."

"No, they don't. But… maybe it's karma from being such a surly little fuck."

He grunted when she lightly punched his gut in retaliation, snickering a little at her mostly faked pout.

Shikaku had only met her genin team a few times since she got them, but he had strong feelings of what kind of shinobi they were already.

"Okay, bad me. But Natsu, would covering it up and pretending Kamioka-san is a good mother help your genin? That's really the only other option, and you've already decided to just dig into this mess and force it to behave."

She narrowed her eyes on her husband.

He just shrugged. "We've already covered that topic. Yes, I'm an ass. But you married me, so I'm your ass of a husband. You need to face reality, wife of mine. Ibiki's a good kid sometimes, I'll admit, but he can be a sadistic little fucker when he wants to be. His mother apparently isn't much better, just less personally likeable and more… uninterested in being responsible."

"I'm a little afraid it will turn him cold, Shika." Natsumi dropped the playful threatening, now serious. "He's got a bit of a problem with empathizing with his teammates already. Yeah, he knows what to do in the face of Gai losing his grandfather and was a pretty damn good support for him. But the surly thing _is_ turning sadistic, and he might lose some tolerance for other shinobi he doesn't know because it turned out his kaa-san is a lazy _bitch_."

"Harsh… but I see your point." The shadow master threaded his fingers into her hair, rubbing his thumbs in circles at the base of her skull. "But there's really little you can do until they get back, and that's in a week. So plan, plot, and wait. But don't let it depress you, Ibiki's going to need some help to deal with it all."

She hummed, taking in that advice and considering it against what she had planned.

Shikaku was a damn fine sounding board, which was why Natsumi liked to take her problems to him for second opinions.

He was also pretty great on distracting her from said problems until she could do something about it.

"Shika, we're supposed to be eating. Get your hand off my ass."

"Technically, since you are my wife, it's mine as well as yours. So it's also _my ass_ , and I'm pretty sure I can feel up _my ass_ whenever I want."

"And Minato never believes me when I tell him you can be just as bad as me." The assassin slipped away, returning to her own seat and finally picking up her own chopsticks. "Sometimes I really wonder why."

"I learned from one of the best." Shikaku told her freely, a smirk on his face. "I'm just more cunning in hiding it that than the rest of you."

"Uh-huh."

\V/

"Yes, you have. You taught _me_ seals, Minato."

The blond jōnin blinked a few times, a frown forming on his face. "I did? I thought that was just practice for me?"

"I can use seals, silly. Therefore, you taught me. We just never formalized it so technically I wasn't a student of yours. Sensei claimed me, after he signed my betrothal contract." Natsumi informed him blandly, pouring herself a bit more tea. "So you've taught before, and it's _Kakashi-kun_. We've been teaching him lots of things since he was four. How hard could teaching him the rest of fūinjutsu using be?"

Minato scratched the back of his head in mild confusion. "Well… I don't think he likes me much anymore."

"He's _nine_. Kashi-chan's probably sulking over something. Get him to talk to you, find out what it is, and then deal with it."

He turned that frown on her, then turned to Hizashi sitting calmly next to him. "Any suggestions?"

The Hyūga raised an eyebrow at him, but spoke after a moment. "A spar. Let the child measure himself against you and find what he wants to learn. Some respect will aid any future attempts to converse."

Kizashi scowled at his teacup, tugging a hand through his red hair. "I don't know why, but my students are not fighting. They have no friction, it's _unnerving_. Even my genin team fought with each other a few times."

Natsumi's lips curled up into a smirk. "Asuma-kun and Kurenai-chan are some pretty good kids on their own. Ebisu-kun just needs some support right now after losing his team. You'll get some friction sooner or later and start wishing they were little gakis again, once Ebisu-kun recovers from the depression and they start discovering how hormones can be fun."

The trap specialist cringed slightly at the mere thought. "Thank you ever so, Natsumi. For pointing out just how good I have it so far and how far it will fall."

"You're welcome."

"Do I have to take on a full team?" Minato asked uneasily, carefully watching the kunoichi sitting at their table in the tea house. "I mean, apparently I've had two students already. Can't I just… not?"

"I didn't count." She stuck her tongue out at him. "And if I have to do this crap, so do you. You'll get the rest of your team next year, so just count your blessings that you can start off easily with just one."

"What about Mikoto? You like her, don't you?" The blond asked with some exasperation. "Why aren't you being evil to her?"

"She got exempt due to that project of ours. She'll get hers next year."

Hizashi blinked at them, Natsumi flicked her eyes at Minato, and the other jōnin nodded minutely.

Kizashi frowned. "I feel like something just went over my head."

"Don't worry about it." The assassin shrugged easily. "It's nothing major, just a clan thing we're trying to tackle. How's Mebuki been doing since you proposed?"

"Trying to decide if she wants to be a stay at home mother or a working one."

\V/

"Why are we doing this, again? It's been years since we last did this."

"Because I wanted to, and you failed to come up with a good enough excuse to miss out." Kushina told the assassin primly, sinking into the onsen's hot water with a soft noise of content.

Natsumi amusedly eyed her, slinking in next to her. "Okay, hime. Whatever you want."

"Damn straight." She sniffed in her direction. "Hey, Mikoto! Hurry up."

"I'm coming, do calm down Kushina." The genjutsu mistress responded from the dressing area, emerging a moment later wrapped in a towel. "Your pervert of a sensei isn't here, right Natsumi?"

"Naw, he's got a meeting with Hiruzen-sama at the moment." The Nara kunoichi responded easily with a shrug. "And I can tell where he is usually, so I can give us warning before he drops on by."

Mikoto nodded to show she heard, slipping into the water on the jinchūriki's other side. "I can't stay long, I need to help Fugaku explain to Itachi-chan where he's going for the next few months."

Kushina tilted her head to look at her best friend. "He doesn't remember the first time?"

"He does, but didn't recall the reasoning we gave him then."

Natsumi pursed her lips, sinking down until the water reached her chin. "That's got to suck for Itachi-chan…"

"He's not very happy with the idea, no." Mikoto's lips twitched, a slow, small smile painting itself across her lips. "I didn't think Fugaku would be so great as a father, I had thought he'd be…"

"An asshole the entire time you two were married?" The assassin asked lightly, intercepting the senbon the Uchiha threw at her head with a snap of her wrist. "Fugaku calmed down a lot once he took control of your clan, I'll admit. Getting hitched to you helped him out more than he's probably willing to admit. And the two of you work well together, keeping the other from getting too stressed out running a clan the size of yours and raising a heir at the same time."

"You're like the ultimate working couple." Kushina tagged on with a wide grin. "One day I really do want to see what the two of you can do together on a battlefield. I'm betting it will be _epic._ "

The Uchiha matron blinked a few times in surprise at them. "Well… I thought that was going to be a lot more insulting. My apologies, Natsumi."

"Of course, you do have to admit Fugaku was a bit of an asshole as a kid. Still can be, sometimes."

The redheaded kunoichi nodded faux seriously next to her. "That's true. Such a little prick, then he turned into a big one."

Natsumi smirked lazily as she sank further in the hot water again and spun the needle between her clawed fingers. "Are you sure you want to go there, hime?"

Kushina coughed, laughing weakly and cringing. "I meant… uh…"

"Bad recovery. You lose two points."

"And now my expectations are fulfilled." Mikoto sighed, rubbing at her forehead. "Give me back my senbon, Natsumi."

"You threw it at me, it's mine now."

"It's poisoned."

The assassin inspected the pointed shaft of metal in her hand. "You took a _poisoned senbon_ into a _bath house?_ "

The Uchiha kunoichi frowned faintly. "That was not a good lie, was it?"

"Nope." Kushina popped the word, smirking. "Good recovery, bad execution. You lose a point."

Mikoto eyed her curiously. "Why do I have points, and what are they for?"

"Whoever loses the most has to buy dinner."

Natsumi blinked, jerking her attention away from the probably-not-poisoned senbon. "Oh… really? Huh… sucks to be the both of you then."

Both of them stared at her, then looked to each other.

"Should we get Natsumi to cook?"

"I think that is a great idea, Kushina."

"And then I can poison the both of you and get away scot free. Excellent idea, ladies."

Kushina blinked. "Damn."

"You know, we probably shouldn't get into speed-lying contests with Natsumi." Mikoto remarked dryly to her best friend. "I have a feeling we're a little outmatched."

"Probably just a bit." Said kunoichi agreed just as dryly as she handed back the senbon to the genjutsu mistress. "Besides it probably giving anyone you stab tetanus, there's no poison on your senbon, Mikoto."

"Liar, my weapons are not rusting."

"Finally!"

"Hime? You might want to check that."

Kushina and Mikoto inspected the gleaming shaft of metal in her hand.

"Fuck."

"Mikoto loses three points for calling bullshit without there being bullshit."

Said kunoichi just sighed, setting the tainted steel to the side. "I have the feeling I'm going to lose."

"Again, probably. But if you want, you can bring the ingredients to dinner to my home and I'll cook while you and Fugaku explain to Itachi-chan where his father is going."

Kushina brightened, turning to the assassin. "Am I invited?"

"Sure, _godmother_. Grab your boyfriend and we'll make it a going away party for Fugaku."

Mikoto gave a wry smirk to the ANBU captain for finding a way to arrange her little dinner party with Kushina's unknowing assistance.

Natsumi grinned back at her.

Her expression when the genjutsu mistress realize now she _had_ to lose was pretty amusing too.

(ooo000ooo)

Mikoto listened hard to the most accurate explanation Natsumi had for her kinjutsu, a tense frown of concentration on her face.

"The Hawk Eye technique?"

"It's how I found it in the first place." The assassin shrugged, a little frustrated. She'd been trying to explain her kinjutsu for years, and it didn't look to be working any better now that she had been doing before. "I used it wrongly when sparring with taicho, and then he ran into a wall much to his own confusion. It took me a bit to get the hang of it, but after than I could… flex reality as others perceived it. Using it feels like something lightens in the back of my head, but if I use it too much or I target too many with it I get dazed and dizzy."

Minato was rubbing Itachi's back as the toddler napped in a curled-up ball on his lap, but he was listening intently to the kunoichi talk. "You know, I do wonder what effects your extra spirit did to you, sempai."

Natsumi was insanely jealous of her own kouhai for that. Itachi had taken a few good weeks to warm up to her again after she had been injured, and the first time the toddler met up the blond jōnin after the same amount of time gone he was perfectly fine with being held by his godmother's boyfriend. The assassin knew perfectly well it was more because Itachi could recall Minato more clearly than he could have probably remembered her so early in his life, but she still thought it was a bit unfair.

"As far as Tsunade-sama could find, probably not much of anything." She replied easily instead of showing that, rubbing the back of her neck where she got a little stiff sometimes. "My chakra coils are a bit bigger than a normal kunoichi, but that could have been from anything from my physical mother having more chakra than common to a side-effect of my chakra nature being just… more than ordinary."

Kushina tilted her head in the back of the room next to her boyfriend, but whatever she had just thought of was kept to herself for the time being.

"How they _perceived_ reality?"

Natsumi turned back to the thoughtful genjutsu mistress. "Yeah. From what you've all told me after experiencing it, it's not just vision based. I can alter a few other things, like balance. The actual Illusions I can do can be mixed in, to control what someone sees. But that's a later feature Fugaku helped me develop, along with the area of effect version."

Mikoto nodded slowly. "This will be tricky. I have no idea where to start attempting to mimic that beginning. So, let us go to the end and attempt to work backwards."

"Well… I don't think that's going to help." The assassin replied sheepishly. "That one, the wide spread one, is total balance disruption with lack of sight."

She looked annoyed.

"But I think I know what you might be able to mimic well." Natsumi hurried to add on, weakly trying to grin. "One that suggests paranoia. Flickers of color at the edge of one's vision, the impression of a ninja's shadow, those sort of things."

The genjutsu mistress tilted her head and thought about that. "That sounds… complicated. I would have to do layers of a genjutsu on top of each other."

"That's the version that's registered in R&D, too." The assassin shrugged lightly. "That was just before Fugaku got interested in trying to pick it apart."

"The only problem then would be the difficulty to disrupt feature of the technique." Fugaku finally spoke up, leaving what he had been working on with Shikaku behind as he approached the two kunoichi. "As the more valuable feature of the jutsu you use is the fact it can't be disrupted easily."

Natsumi frowned faintly. "Can we claim teaching others outside of… no, we can't. Then it would seem like a kekkai genkai and not the kinjutsu we want it to look like."

"What about a Yin Release based genjutsu?" Minato asked curiously, looking between all three of them. "Sempai can do those."

"How hard is it to break a Yin Release?" She tacked on, just as interested as her kohai. "Mine are either mostly reacted to or occasionally ignored, never broken."

Mikoto stared at her for a long moment. "How… in the world does that happen? _Ignored?_ "

The assassin had to shrug again, unable to explain it better than that. "Damned if I know. But, the rare time or twice, my Illusions had been outright ignored."

"Maybe you did it wrong?" The genjutsu mistress mused out loud to herself, bewildered. "Who could ignore one?"

"Sensei was the first. A few other people who are all mostly dead now. And… Orochimaru… I think, _might_ have been able to."

Fugaku's face blanked at the very mention of the traitor, but after a moment he spoke up anyways. "Might it be just a question of power, then? The Sannin are… were both impressive opponents to face."

"I don't think so… I've used the Illusions against a few jinchūriki and A of Kumogakure and they worked fine, and the last time it didn't work was against a civilian." Natsumi scratched the back of her head thinking back to the times her Yin Releases hadn't worked much to her own confusion. "There's not a rhyme or reason behind it. Just… sometimes the Illusions don't work. It's pretty rare for them not to, so I'm just cautious of relying on them too much, but…"

Mikoto stared hard at her. "It sounds like you were doing a Yin Release wrong… but if you do it wrong, the only thing that should have happened was the Illusion was unsuccessful and doesn't take hold. Why would it manifest to you and just… fail to be recognized by another?"

"…I'm very, very odd?" Natsumi suggested weakly, terribly confused. She had thought they just weren't all that reliable sometimes so she never wondered why they would rarely fail.

Minato tried to cover his sudden snickers with coughing, but failed massively in a room full of shinobi. Even Shikaku huffed a laugh with a sharp grin, rolling up what he had been working on for later.

The Uchiha matron pressed her lips together severely. "I believe we should take a good look at your Yin Releases, Natsumi. Eventually. But Minato's suggestion is a good one. A Yin Release would be more difficult to break, and if we are passing off the technique you use as something teachable we can just claim you are better at it than me."

"Even though, apparently, you're not." Kushina finally piped up, vastly amused.

The assassin pouted at her. "Not nice, hime."

(ooo000ooo)

Minato waited until the Uchiha couple left for the night, secured the study for the both of them and then turned to the assassin with a grin. "You owe me two."

"How is it two? We only had… oh."

"Earth _and_ Lighting, sempai."

"This is why you said you wanted to talk to me?" Natsumi quipped, a wry grin on her lips. "And you kicked my own husband from the room."

He shrugged easily. "If you want, I'll go get Shikaku. I'll even fetch Kushina and sensei…"

"Oh shut up." She pouted a little, stretching out on the couch. "Fine… my first day of civilian school, or learning to carve first?"

"In order?"

"My first day of civilian school." Natsumi started dryly. "I didn't want to go. I bawled my eyes out."

Minato grinned, chuckling a little. "Really?"

"I was five! And… going to school meant leaving my kaa-chan's side. I was the only daughter of two very loving parents, one of who stayed home to raise me, and I was a little… sheltered from that. So, I didn't want to go."

He hummed a little, still grinning. "So what happened?"

"My kaa-chan and tou-chan were just as cunning as I can be. She said it was fine that I didn't want to go, but tou-chan and I were going somewhere so get ready. And I did, so he took me to a building I had never been to before. He told me to go inside and find a certain room while he took care of some errand. I never realized where or for what I was there for until kaa-chan picked me up in the afternoon and asked how I liked my first day of school."

Her kouhai laughed at her, and even Natsumi had to grin.

"Wow, sempai. Out foxed by your own parents."

"They were smart people, kouhai. I inherited that from them."

Minato rubbed a hand over his mouth, still snickering. "Okay, learning to carve."

"I loved watching my tou-chan carve. It was fascinating to me, how he shaped wood how he liked and smoothed it all down so it felt silky. I begged him to teach me, so we started carving something large enough that I could learn on. The first thing I carved with him was a little boat, large enough to seat two that he promised me we would take out on a lake when it was done. He showed me how to do it, guiding my hands with his own until I could put enough pressure on the tools to do it right. But I got a bit excited when it was almost done, and snuck out to help the project along sometimes at night."

"What happened?"

"I accidently put a hole in the bottom, near the jointing that held the benches in place on the rear port side."

"Oh kami…"

"When we took the boat out once it was finished, tou-chan in the back and me in the bow, it sank pretty damn fast. We had to swim for shore. Tou-chan ruffled my hair and said that trying to hurry it along without him hadn't been the best idea, so we were going to have to do it again."

He snickered and she pouted.

Minato burst out laughing again, and Natsumi huffed at him with a fond smirk of her own.

It was kind of fun now, to tell stories like that. Maybe she should tell Shikaku a few.

\V/

Natsumi swung to the ground around the same time her newly returned genin team exited the Hokage's Tower with Tsume and Kuromaru. "Hello, gakis!"

The Inuzuka alpha eyed her warily, the ninken just snorted in her direction.

Her three genin cringed a bit.

"Sensei." Koichi greeted her cautiously, eyeing her smirk. "Is there something you wanted? We were about to head home."

"Yeah… you're not doing that." The assassin cheerfully told him, smirking at her fellow kunoichi. "Thanks for all of it, Tsume. I'll visit you and my goddaughter in a few days."

The tracker saluted and stalked off, Kuromaru brushing up against her lightly before following his human partner.

"Sensei?"

Natsumi beamed at all three of them. Why they started backing away was a mystery to her. "We've got a bit of training still yet to do. And since you just came off a mission, now is the best time."

Ibiki and Gai were clueless, and looked to Koichi for an answer.

The scout, on the other hand, was paper white. "That? We're going to do that now?"

"Better now than when you really have to do it cold. Some experience in how it affects you is preferable to doing it without knowing, Koichi-kun."

"Do what?" The infiltrator questioned roughly, tired and a little irritated at this delay.

"Sleep deprivation training." She answered easily.

"So… we're just going to stay awake?" Gai asked with some confusion, looking between his teammate and his jōnin-sensei a few times.

"For as long as you can, then we'll take a look at how well you did and how it affects you. Then in a few months, we'll do it again. Trying to ease it out until you can operate for a day or two without rest well enough to complete a mission."

Koichi considered that, still warily eyeing her. "Now."

"Yep."

The scout shrugged after a few more moments of thought. "Suppose that can hurt."

"I'm so glad you approve, Koichi-kun."

He flushed at the light reprimand. "Sorry sensei."

Natsumi tilted her head to the side and frowned faintly. "I know I've been gone, gakis. It wasn't my or your fault I was. But adjusting to me again will still be awkward somewhat. So, I'm not mad you've been looking out after the other two like this, Koichi-kun. But… that will get annoying rapidly, being second guessed again by someone that had gotten over that."

He lost some of the extra color, but was still cringing from his earlier mistake. "I'm sorry, Natsumi-sensei."

"Don't be." The assassin waved a hand to dismiss the problem. "I'm well aware we're going to need to hit the training fields again, just to get back into step. Everyone that leaves their team or cell for a chunk of time has to. Injuries, long-term mission work, deployments, those kinds of things can affect team builds and teammates just as much as the individual in question. So we're going to rub up against each other again, not nearly as badly as when I just got you three but still a problem. It will only take some time, and a whole lot of tolerance, before we can fix that."

Ibiki looked between her and the still quailing scout. "We could always do the Gai-kun method for you."

"I don't think I want to be tackled every time I second guess sensei, Ibiki-kun." Koichi groused, scowling at his smirking teammate. "I'll work on it."

Natsumi crouched down, no longer having to kneel to reach eye level with her team. "Look, just head on out to the training field and I'll go grab us dinner. You can tell me everything that went on while I was gone, and I might be able to tell you some stories from the fronts in both Lightning and Earth. That adjustment is going to take time, so let's start on it and ignore what goes wrong at first."

Her three genin nodded, shrugged, and grunted in turn before wandering in the direction of Training Grounds Three.

She frowned after their backs.

What the heck happened to Gai out there? Other than one question, her normally eager genin had been pretty quiet.

(ooo000ooo)

"Gai-kun? Can I talk to you for a bit?" Natsumi asked lightly as her boys set up a camp just for the hell of it.

She still had to talk with Ibiki, but she might as well start with something lighter… she hoped.

Her now gangly teenaged taijutsu user blinked and shrugged, handing over digging out the fire pit to Ibiki to see what she wanted.

Natsumi didn't bother getting out of hearing range. Between Koichi and Ibiki, very little she could do would keep them away and she wanted to keep that for a more serious topic.

"Gai-kun, can you tell me what's wrong?"

His plastic looking smile fell off. "I… do not know, sensei."

"You were doing mostly fine before you left, so it's something recent." She told him frankly, settling down in the hollow of one tree's roots. "Have your teammates hit on something painful? Or is it just a sort of depression than snuck up on you?"

The assassin was pretty certain she had a fix on what it was, but getting Gai to tell her would only just help him.

"We… while we were gone, sensei, we encountered a team of Kumo shinobi trying to…"

Right, what she thought it was then. The fighting was getting a desperate edge from what she'd seen, and retaliations to the civilians they were responsible for was going to start to be common.

"Trying to kill everyone that lived in whatever village you came across?" Natsumi finished sadly, smiling grimly when he nodded. "It's a fairly popular tactic, trying to make the civilians less sure that their Hidden Village is working to protect them. It breeds resentment against all shinobi, not just the Hidden Village that sent them out. Konohagakure doesn't do that, but we do have something similar that breeds just as much or sometimes more."

Gai gaped at her, shocked. "We don't do that?"

"We're known as the 'shinobi village of hippy tree-huggers' for a reason, Gai-kun." She lost the faint edge of amusement, sighing as the teen sat down in front of her. "We don't wipe out entire villages full of civilians… but we do kill everyone that had once been samurai and shinobi. Who are still usually respected members of most towns or villages, and usually have families around when we find them. It's not really much better, and as a moral high ground it's kinda flimsy, but we can at least say we don't wipe out entire villages down to the last dog."

The taijutsu user frowned hard, confusion stamped on his features.

Gai was a _very_ moral person, partly due to his grandfather's influence and partly just because that was who he was. It was slightly sad to have him grow up in a shinobi village, in a samurai's household or a temple he would have been rather happy with the prominence of discipline and honor. Ninja scorned the very thought of chivalry and stabbed most their opponents in the back as soon as they could, and the poor kid was now struggling to find himself a spot in the shadowy half-truths and outright lies that made up shinobi life.

Therefore, killing civilian women and children not yet of the age to learn how to fight was abhorrent to the teen.

"Sensei? If it is an even slightly higher ground than other villages, why doesn't anyone else do it too?"

"Because the threat of going to war with us isn't as scary as another who would counter that by wiping out your own." The assassin shrugged one shoulder. "We're not that scary, apparently. And that threat is part of what keeps the peace usually, not doing it seems to be a sign of weakness to other Hidden Villages."

"So wait." Koichi came out of the darkening forest with a bundle of sticks clasped in his arms, not even bothering to look like he hadn't been listening in. "This whole stupid war is because we're too _nice?_ "

"Do I _look_ like an Iwa-nin?" Natsumi asked dryly. "Hell if I know. Iwa said nothing to us before trying to kill a number of people within the village and trying to destroy the border posts. They might have a grievance with us, but instead of talking about it apparently they thought just trying to kill us all was the way to go. We get _picked on_ because we're too nice. It's more appealing to fight with Konoha because we don't retaliate that way, unlike either Iwa or Kumo who would do that just because they think you did to them."

"So why don't we, if it is such a deterrent?"

She looked to her last little eavesdropper, who just blandly stared back. Ibiki didn't look apologetic either.

"Because that's not what Senju Hashirama-sama wanted for Konohagakure no Sato or the Elemental Countries. He wanted to stop the warring, and ruled out a few of the more… brutal methods available to ensure no one wanted to fight with us." She stretched out her legs, leaning back against the tree she was sitting under. "So… we don't do it. We can do things that still might turn your stomach, but we don't go after most civilians without good reason for it."

Mostly, anyways. They did not wipe out entire towns without a good reason, though.

That tidbit of new had Gai looking relieved, to the point of very shiny eyes and shaking fists. Natsumi kept a sharp watch for waterworks, but it just looked like whatever was flagging in his conviction to be a shinobi of the Leaf had been bolstered.

Leaving him to it for the moment, she turned her attention to the two little sneaks.

"I don't believe I said I wanted to talk to the whole team, boys. I'll get around to talking with the both of you shortly, but right now is Gai-kun's turn." She flapped a hand at their little circle of freshly dug ground. "Go back to setting up camp, I've got a few other things to check on still."

Natsumi dug a privacy tag she had rolled up in a weapon pouch, slapping it to the ground between her and the taijutsu user once she had eyes on her other two genin over at the campsite.

"Now, Gai-kun. Do you want to tell me why you blanched when I said I was proud of you before your mission?"

He slumped into himself, and the assassin sighed.

Grief counseling sucked ass… especially when there wasn't a pretty pre-made target she could slap onto something. Hiroshi-jii-sama died of old age and the complications of a broken down body, there wasn't anything Natsumi could point to and let him work out his stress and frustration out that way. Gai was probably now on the part of realizing what it meant and what that would mean in terms of his personal support.

It was pretty damn lonely to go home and have no one there to greet you. Fiona had done that for about nine years before her death, only visiting her mother every few weeks. Natsumi hated it to the point she would go and sit on Minato's couch for _hours_ at a time. Getting married had only assuaged most of that, she still hated it when Shikaku was gone and she couldn't seek him out for someone to talk to or just nap with.

Gai had gone from living with a devoted old man that couldn't leave their home to living with Eri and Kakashi, then to his own little empty apartment on his own. He was most likely not adjusting very well to that sudden change.

The last person who probably told Gai he was proud of him was his grandfather.

The assassin rubbed her face with one hand. "Gai-kun, I'm not sure if you know this… but I had Minato help me work up some seals to freeze your old home in time until I could help you with that. Kakashi-kun placed them once you starting living with the Hatake clan. I know you haven't done anything to that house yet, but it might be something you should do before long. I, Koichi-kun, and Ibiki-kun will even help if you ask. Find something of your jii-sama's and keep it with you after you pack his stuff up and clean the home one last time, before I seal it up again until you need it. It'll hurt a bit in a bitter way, but you'll feel better in the long run."

He kept his head lowered, and his voice was a bit shaky, but Gai was honest as he thanked her quietly.

Well… one down, two to go.

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi passed out the onigiri she had made earlier that day once the campfire was lit and provided enough light to see by, then abducted Ibiki and flatly told Koichi that if she caught him even five feet of the two of them she was going to make him a couple feet shorter anyways.

Even if he was smaller than his teammates still.

Ibiki… wasn't at all surprised at what his jōnin-sensei told him.

"I know, sensei." the thirteen-year-old genin told her quietly. "I've known since before you left for Earth. I just…"

"Didn't want to deal with it or confront her?" The assassin asked wryly, swinging her feet a little on the branch they were sitting on. "Trust me, I understand. I wanted to cringe away from that too."

"But you didn't." Ibiki turned to her, a mix of frustration and confusion on his face. "Why? Why not just leave it well enough alone?"

"Because you are mine." She told him bluntly, frowning. "And although I was gone for a little while, you're still mine. Ibiki-kun, you shouldn't feel like getting out of the house is the best thing you can do. You shouldn't have to live with someone that puts this kind of pressure on you because she doesn't want to work. And because you are mine and that shouldn't happen, I'll help out however I can. I tried, and I made it easier on you for a while. But…"

"Kaa-san didn't help." He finished bitterly. "She's just…"

"Caring for Idate-chan, which I can understand… but there are places she can go for free childcare for a few hours. She could even work at the orphanage, most shinobi leave their children there if they can't leave their kids elsewhere for the time they have missions. There are options open for her, a few probably less than savory, but she would still be working and helping you so you don't panic if the team has a two month long break."

"…I'm sorry, sensei."

"For?"

"The mission voucher you took on for us." Ibiki told her sadly, ashamed. "It… it helped… but not for long."

Natsumi frowned, suspicious. Her A-rank pay should have stretched for a long while, it had been taken out on her next deployment of _three months of combat duty_. Specifically, her little stint in Lightning Country. That had been a lot of money for jōnin, who usually had to cover costs like weaponry and equipment replacements on top of their usual living expenses and possible families, much less for a poor civilian supporting two children in the cheap section of the housing district. Even if that pay was for three months stretched over six. "Ibiki-kun… do you know _where_ your kaa-san keeps your family's funds?"

He startled, and she had to keep him from falling off the branch. "Sensei?"

"I… would like to go check on something…"

Ibiki, trained in the ways of stealth and deception by a jōnin of the art, started scowling. "If it's _still_ there…"

"Your kaa-san couldn't have spent it all by now. Not just by paying rent and buying food if you pulled some pay in too." She confirmed lightly, a wicked little smirk crawling across her face. "And since you are the head of the household… I think it might be time I show you how a bank works… and the little thing called household accounts."

He would still be a bit bitter over this, but giving him a way to handle it might assuage most of the difficulty in getting to know others she thought might still happen. Either way, Kamioka wouldn't be the one handling the little family's finances anymore. Natsumi could show Ibiki how to do it.

If the civilian woman just wanted to care for her kids and do nothing else, then she could damn well work for her own son to care for Idate.

"Ibiki-kun?"

"My tou-san built a box she keeps under her bed. It's trapped, sensei."

"And if a civilian can get in and out of it, it won't last against me."

"Sensei?"

Natsumi paused, feet against the tree's trunk and standing sideways. "Hmm?"

"Thanks."

She was eye level with the infiltrator, and after a moment she smiled. "I'm sure you would have thought of it, Ibiki-kun. Eventually. I'm just… hurrying it along somewhat."

He grinned darkly. "Hurry up, then. I'm going back to camp."

"Gaki."

Ibiki shrugged, stepping off the branch and falling down to the next one.

Natsumi huffed on her own way down, smacking him lightly upsides the head once he landed before taking off using the next tree's branches.

Now, where did Kamioka sleep in that little apartment of theirs?

(ooo000ooo)

One box delivered, and an abduction of a scout later, and Natsumi was now sitting across from Koichi. Arms crossed over her chest and frowning at him.

"What?" He asked warily, leaning away from her a little.

"You're a freaking oxymoron. That's… hmm."

"I am _not_ a moron!"

" _Oxymoron_. A contradiction in terms, Koichi-kun."

"…oh. What?"

The assassin huffed, slinking backwards to lean up against yet another tree. "A contradiction. You're the easiest of my genin to look after, but you're the hardest to take care of."

Koichi scratched his cheek lightly, sulking a bit. "I am?"

"You're highly suspicious, you're forever wary of everything that seems to be good news or even better news, and yet you just seem fine so long as the team meets up regularly." She told him blandly, still frowning. "You're kind of self-sufficient, which is awesome. But… you're… you, really. Suspicious and puzzling over everything I try to do for you or the others, never happy unless you know why I did it."

"…I'm sorry?"

"Didn't I already tell you not to worry about it?" Natsumi asked lightly, smirking a little. "I think I know why, you'd have to be if you hung around the Hokage's Tower so much growing up. There would be a lot of people wanting to talk to you if they knew whose son you were, right?"

He lost the sulk for a depressed pout. "Yeah… there was even a kidnapping attempt ANBU had to deal with. They didn't get far with me, but they tried."

"So you got wary, which would be needed to avoid a repeated attempt. And given Asuma-kun's your otouto, of course you looked out after him. So now you look after the rest of the team the same way, and that's pretty great. But… Koichi-kun, I don't need your prestige."

He eyed her suspiciously.

She huffed. "Kid, I'm not just a jōnin kunoichi of Konohagakure. I'm the wife of the Nara clan head, once a student of the Toad Sage, once a student of the Hatake clan head, and a fūinjutsu master. What the hell could you give me that I can't get myself?"

Koichi opened his mouth to bite something out… and his mouth hung open as he tried to think.

"I visit Biwako-sama and Hiruzen-sama a few times every year with the rest of the clan heads. We've been doing that long before you became a shinobi trainee."

He shut his mouth with a frown.

"I babysat Nawaki-kun and Kakashi-kun for years before they joined the academy. Heck, I look over the _whole freaking_ academy."

Koichi scowled at her.

"Are you done being silly?"

He pouted, which she thought was adorable on him still.

"Sensei?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up, please."

Natsumi snickered, hauling herself back up. "Aww… but Koichi-kun!"

The scout cringed, flushing beet red. "Sensei… please."

"Fine. You're no fun." She stretched out, popping a few joints in her spine, then poked him in the forehead. "I know it will take time, but keep this in mind. I don't need you personally. Professionally, you're mine no matter how much you squirm and try to protest."

"Is that supposed to sound like a threat?"

"You… you little gaki." Natsumi couldn't suppress her snickers, swatting his head. "Sure, take it like a threat. See if I care. I'm just going to go _cry_ , because my little genin don't _love me_ …"

Koichi's face when he heard that was enough to get her to break down laughing.

He had been a cross between horrified and scared out of his wits… until it turned to understanding and pure irritation.

\V/

" _Who?_ "

"Some drug runner named Gato." Mouse repeated, sulking around the ANBU captain's cramped office and poking things. "A lowlife thug from Wave. We're setting him up to draw any Kirigakure attention away from the war going on up north, by giving him an advantage over the shipping there in the guise of a 'legal' business deal. It will put a bit of a cramp on Mist shipping to the west and south of them, just in case. Why?"

"That name sounds… familiar…"

"Panther-taicho? You okay?"

The assassin rubbed at her temple. "Damned if I know. Are any of us?"

Snorting, the medic shrugged and finally sat down in the captain's visitor chair. "Probably not. I've got a mission in a few, so I've got to go soon."

"Then why the hell are you still here? Go stock up on medical crap or check over your equipment."

"Aww, but taicho… I know you like checking up on me." Mouse tilted her head to the side, whining at the other kunoichi.

Panther snorted at her. "I think I might have liked it better when you were newer. You were so quiet back then."

"And you kept telling me to speak the fuck up." The medic returned easily. "All your fault, taicho. Horse-shishou didn't give a damn how much I spoke as long as I could heal."

"Horse is still rather terrifying, honestly."

"I hear that." Mouse nodded a few times, shivering.

Ryoko still came back to ANBU to train up some medics on the side. She was too good to just let go of, so they supplemented the old kunoichi's retirement academy job with some medical training for their own rookies. Which meant Mouse had come mask to mask with her old trainer a few times since.

Once ANBU, always ANBU. Even Wolf occasionally checked in just to see which intelligence had been gathered up for the places he had jōnin missions in, and run a few rookies through a few training exercises.

"Mouse, I don't know _why_ I know Gato's name. So just be careful. Usually, if I know it, something about it is more than it seems."

"Sure, taicho. You'll be checking up on the kids, right?"

"Of course. Tenzou-kun wasn't there the last time I saw Ito, how is he doing?"

"He finally got the hang of keeping the leaves from growing out of his hair."

Panther huffed a laugh. "Terrific, now we just need to get him to suppress the bark-skin thing and he could pass as anyone's kid and not our little _ueki-kun_."

Mouse shrugged easily as she got up. "Poor kid, I think he's never getting rid of Ito's little nickname for him… but he did look a bit like a bush when we started caring for them."

"Hmm… Naomi-chan would like you to visit sometime. She wants to learn iryou jutsus so she can help 'neko-taicho' the next time I'm injured."

"She won't learn from Shia?"

"Shia's a bit too new, still. But watching the medic heal up a bruise on me was what inspired the girl."

The ANBU medic considered that. "She needs an ungodly amount of chakra control training for it."

"I'll start her on it."

Mouse nodded. "Sure then, see you later taicho."

Panther waved the other kunoichi out of her office, making a mental note to look up who Gato was.

Why _did_ she know the name of some minor thug from Wave Country?

\V/

"Err… shishou, you don't need to help."

"Nonsense, with more of us this'll go faster." Natsumi absently replied, strolling down the apartment building her Suna-nin apprentice had lived in ever since moving out of her home. "And we've got two days to clean up, Komushi. Doing a bit at a time will keep us from getting bored and missing a few things, and you can stay in the room you lived in with us until you have to leave."

Koichi suspiciously eyed the darkly tanned chūnin who looked like he was trying not to panic, and then at his jōnin-sensei's back. "Hey, sensei? Don't you still need to secure travel passes for the rest of the team?"

The kunoichi paused finally, tapping her lips with one of the scrolls in her hand. "Hmm, yeah. But I can do that tomorrow."

"Sensei! You should not put off errands!" Gai suddenly shouted from the scout's other side.

Ibiki suddenly slapped the seal he had _begged_ for, one that silenced the target it was placed on, over the taijutsu user's mouth. "Inside volume, Gai-kun. And we can start this while you do that, sensei."

Natsumi turned and looked at them strangely, but shrugged after a moment. "Okay then… might take me a few hours."

Komushi was handed two sealing scrolls and she tapped each of the genin lightly on the head.

"Behave, Komushi's in charge. I'll… bring lunch back with me."

Koichi waited until the kunoichi had retraced her steps and left their hallway for the stairwell, then he glared at the Sand shinobi. "You've got an hour to get whatever would disgust sensei out of your apartment."

Komushi blinked down at them, gave him the scrolls, and shunshined for his apartment.

"I… honestly don't want to know." Ibiki growled glaring in the direction the chūnin had fled.

"We should give him a couple minutes." Koichi told the other two quietly, passing the scrolls to the only one on the team that could read them accurately.

Gai scratched his head, frowning in a puzzled way. "I am… confused. Why did we delay sensei?"

The scout almost wanted to slap his face in exasperation, but suppressed the urge and tried to find a way to explain it for his teammate. "He's… Komushi-san's an adult and lives on his own. Bachelor pads, I think my Otou-sama called it. They're supposed to be messy and slightly disgusting from what I've heard."

The infiltrator looked up from identifying the seals on the two scrolls to stare at him. "Komushi-sempai's apartment isn't disgusting. I've been there a lot. Slightly messy, he's got paper and seal designs everywhere, but he kept mess to the kitchen and some order to his growing library."

"Ever see into his bedroom?"

Ibiki scowled. "No."

"Kept the door closed all the time?"

"…yeah."

Koichi raised an eyebrow at his teammate.

Ibiki flipped him off. "Shut up."

Gai looked between the two of them, still confused.

The scout patted him on the arm. "Look, sensei's a girl. We're boys. Sometimes, what's disgusting to her isn't to us. Komushi-san didn't want to disgust her. So, we got him a little time to deal with that."

Ibiki rolled up the scroll he had been reading and shoved one at each of his teammates. "Gai-kun, cleaning supplies. Koichi-kun, storage seals for whatever Komushi-sempai wants to keep and take to Suna. We should start with his ever growing piles of fūinjutsu designs. I'll sort them."

The scout accepted the scroll, putting it in a pocket. "You want to start in the kitchen, Gai-kun?"

"It will shine with my Youth when I finish." He swore, clenching the storage scroll in one fist.

"Hey… Ibiki-kun? What happens when you destroy a storage seal containing something?"

The infiltrator eyed the tai user warily. "I don't want to find out. Gai-kun, stop that."

(ooo000ooo)

"I am honestly impressed. I kept thinking there might be shriveled remains in the fridge or masses of dirty laundry in the bedroom, but there's nothing that bad."

Komushi cringed, laughing weakly as he helped Ibiki sort his fūinjutsu notes and designs to be sealed. "I… err… did do some cleaning, shishou."

"It's better than Minato's first apartment, cleaning that out for moving needed a shovel in the bedroom." The assassin remarked dryly, setting the last of the dishes to the side for Gai to dry.

The Sand ninja cringed again, flushing noticeably.

Koichi almost wanted to smack him for it. If they had gone through the trouble of helping the chūnin clean up the worst, the least he could do was not draw attention to it.

The taijutsu specialist stacked up the now clean and dry tableware, carrying them over to the scout. He took them and placed them on the seal marked 'storage: dishes', funneling a little chakra into the seal to get it to swallow the stacked plates, bowls, and chopstick sets.

Now that the last of the kitchen utensils were taken care of, Natsumi started sweeping up the kitchenette's floor behind her.

"What else needs to be cleaned up still?"

"We took care of the bathroom and the bedroom already, sensei." Koichi informed the older kunoichi, moving the storage scroll over to Ibiki for him to start sealing the calligraphy supplies away. "So just this room left, the floors, and the windows."

"Right. Gai-kun, clean the inside windows and the frames. Koichi-kun, help me with the outside."

The scout got up and followed her out of the window, cautiously adjusting his chakra control to not blow holes in the side of the building. Civilians tended to get irritated when that happened.

"So," the kunoichi spoke suddenly once the window had been closed behind them, "how bad was it really?"

Koichi grimaced as he watched her kneel down and start cleaning the top window pane. "Some fuzzy takeout in the fridge and a few piles of dirty laundry in the bedroom. He took care of the worst of it before we got in, so I don't know about anything else. How did you know?"

"You might have cleaned it up before I got here, but the smell stayed behind." Natsumi eyed the running glass cleaner, wiping it away before it could drip sideways and off the frame. "And I helped another boy move more than a few times, I remember the smell of rotting food and dirty clothing. Minato really never did get the hang of cooking for himself, no matter how much food I bought him."

He sighed irritably. "Why did you let us do that then?"

"Well… if you wanted to be a little gentleman and keep my feminine sensibility from cringing, who was I to stop that?" She remarked wickedly, smirking at his expression. "Poor Komushi couldn't stop flinching every time I made a comment of how much better it was then I feared and Gai-kun needs a bit more work on his 'innocent' face, I could spot the confusion on him a mile away."

Koichi accepted the bottle of glass cleaner and the extra rag, scowling at her.

"Oh don't look like that, I'm very pleased you took that into account for me. I hadn't been looking forward to that, so thanks."

Only slightly mollified, the scout started off for the far bedroom windows.

Sensei just had to tack something onto that. "…it was very _cute_ of you."

Koichi grit his teeth together and stalked off, ignoring the flush that started crawling up his neck as she snickered at him.

Next time, he was going to pretend to be clueless instead of trying to find out how she noticed.

(ooo000ooo)

They had to come back the next day and clean the wooden floors, but Natsumi handed off the keys later in the afternoon.

The older, retired shinobi that cared for the building checked it again, then bowed them out.

"Well… that's done." Natsumi took one last look at the apartment building Komushi had lived in for almost two years. "Gakis, go home and ensure you packed enough for two weeks. Komushi, visit who you want and check everything off your last list of things to do. You might not be coming back for a long while."

The Sand shinobi nodded and took off, but Gai lingered behind so the rest of the team did as well.

"Sensei? Can… you help me find something?"

The assassin looked down at him curiously, flicking her eyes to the other two genin.

"They can come."

She shrugged easily. "Alright then, lead on."

Gai nodded uneasily, taking a few good leaps upward to get to the roofs.

"Sensei?" Koichi enquired softly, confused as they followed the tai user.

"Be respectful, Gai-kun's taking us to his old home he shared with Hiroshi-jii-sama."

Ibiki's expression flattened out, like anything that had to deal with family did to him now. The scout made no noise, but fixed his eyes on his teammate's back.

Natsumi was a bit more worried about the infiltrator, as Gai knew what he was doing.

She dropped back, letting Koichi fuss silently over the tai user and drawing even with Ibiki. "You okay?"

"Is it bad I'm envious?" He grumped quietly, taking care to ensure neither of his teammates could hear. "Gai-kun's grandfather did almost the same thing as my kaa-san… but he couldn't work with his arthritic hands or bad back. He could barely walk. It's less…"

"Irritating? I know. Human nature, Ibiki-kun. Yeah, it looks better at the moment because he's pretty much recovered and you're still dealing. But recall how bad Gai-kun had it just after Hiroshi-jii-sama passed away. Your kaa-san isn't dead, and has a chance to change the part of herself that you don't like and become a better person. Would you rather she had died before she started taking advantage of you?"

Ibiki paused just before the branch Gai had used to get down to his home, angry at himself and frustrated with everything. "No, sensei."

"Remember that Gai-kun's grandfather is dead and your kaa-san isn't." Natsumi crouched down, looking hard at the genin. "No matter what, I'm sure Gai-kun would trade places with you in a heartbeat. Because you still have family to hold on to. Gai-kun's a bit envious of you two, honestly. That's why he's getting just a bit more… awkward."

He looked a cross between perturbed and stunned.

"You and Koichi-kun still have family. Yeah, Koichi-kun doesn't see much of his Otou-sama much, and you have some trouble with your kaa-san. But you both have an otouto and an okaa-san. He's got… nothing but the team now. And a little rivalry going on with Kakashi-kun, but we're going to excuse him that one."

Ibiki frowned, staring hard in the direction the tai user had gone with the scout.

"And if you tell him you know, he's going to do the apology thing… so don't, for the sake of our eardrums."

He snorted, but nodded after a silent moment. "Sure sensei. Should we?"

"We should, or Koichi-kun will be tempted to come back and eavesdrop again."

\V/

Natsumi eyed the scrublands they were passing through, uneasy.

After everything Minato and Inoichi did to ensure she wouldn't breakdown and have a panic attack in the desert, she could deal with visiting Suna and Wind Country. She would _never_ like it, and the transition from Land of Fire's forests and grasslands to Land of Wind's scrublands and desert dunes still discomforted her.

"Sensei?"

To make it worse, she also had three little genin that liked to watch her and puzzle over every move she made. "Yeah?"

"Something wrong?"

"Bad memories, Koichi-kun. I'll adjust, but it's still… uncomfortable, for me to pass through the desert."

Komushi jerked his attention over, worried. "Shishou?"

Natsumi laughed, a bit bitterly but with more good humor than she thought possible. "It wasn't Suna's fault, Komushi. Just… something I really didn't think I'd survive through. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I did. I was… pretty badly off."

Gai turned around and walked backwards, as they were taking it easy on the way into the desert and would pick up the pace again once they reached sand. "Which mission was it, sensei?"

"You don't have the rank for that story, boys." She told them wryly, grinning at Hiruzen's inquiring expression. "And it was before the Second War ended, so it was so much a specific mission as a patrol."

The Hokage nodded thoughtfully, turning his attention back to his retainers that wanted this or that detail of their trip to be confirmed again.

Sometimes ANBU was a lot more useful than her husband gave them credit for. The assassin just smirked at her genin's disappointed expressions and the irritated looks she was getting from some of the administration-orientated ninja accompanying them to Sunagakure.

You couldn't pay her enough to be a kage, the paperwork followed the poor man everywhere.

Even on a vacation that had some pseudo political reasons, some relationship building threads, and a somewhat family one behind it.

This was supposed to be an outing where Koichi could show off a little to his father, hidden in enough political talk and mission work to sell to Konohagakure's village council. But Hiruzen was still the Sandaime Hokage of Konoha, and he couldn't put everything aside even to spend a little time with his firstborn son.

Besides the clerks and scribes following along, there were also the Hokage's guard and the three ANBU teams following them.

Natsumi would step in a few times with the chūnin to let Koichi have some extra time with Hiruzen, but she wouldn't do a damn thing about the ANBU squads.

There were there for more than looking suitably threating for the guards of the Sandaime Hokage.

At the moment, the assassin was feeling a bit useless. She and her team were really only there because she had taught Komushi and she figured getting her brats into Wind on diplomatic reasons would be good for them. Natsumi had nothing else to do but care for her team and poke the Sand ninja a few last times.

Normally, on missions like this, she would at least treat it like a scouting mission. On this trek ANBU took care of ensuring the way was clear, most of the plans for their traveling had to be shifted a few times just to be sneaky on Hiruzen's order, and…

Well, she was feeling rather useless.

Which wasn't much fun when she couldn't distract herself from the memories and feelings deserts raised up in her.

Natsumi suppressed a sigh, not willing to draw more attention to her unease. Two more days of travel, and they would at least be in Suna.

(ooo000ooo)

"Hiruzen-sama." The Kazekage greeted his fellow kage solemnly. "Welcome to Sunagakure no Sato."

"Satoshi-sama." Hiruzen greeted back, just as formal. "We thank you for hosting us."

Natsumi tuned out the rest of the formalities and just listened for her name, keeping an eye on both her team and student. Well, ex-student now that they were returning him.

Komushi looked to be barely containing his excitement to be home finally, and her team were all curious as kittens about how a foreign Hidden Village looked.

Compared to Konohagakure, which had been built into the forests their first Hokage grew nearly at whim around them, Sunagakure was almost bland.

The Village Hidden in the Sand was concealed by both the deserts surrounding them and the cliffs that guarded the entrance to the village. The buildings were round and desert colored, either by design to ensure sandstorms didn't affect them too much or due to the scouring sands lifted by the winds embedding into the clay. There were wires here and there, most for electricity but some just to ensure the larger buildings didn't lean once the wind started blowing hard.

The two villages shared one feature though, they both were built into the shadows of mountains. Suna's were just… more rugged and less forested.

"Natsumi-sama?"

"Hai, Satoshi-sama?"

The master of the Iron Sand technique nodded his head to her slightly. "Sunagakure thanks you for your teachings."

The assassin's lips curled in a smile as she gave him an actual bow in return. "I did promise to return him intact, Kazekage-sama. I wish you and yours well with my old student's learnings."

"If I may ask, how did Komushi-san preform as a student?"

"He was remarkably attentive, and very respectful of me." Natsumi informed him honestly. "I had expected some youthful mischief in experimenting with his beginning fūinjutsu attempts, and I was pleasantly surprised by the lack of structural damage he caused. The landscaping one was an expected cost, though."

Komushi flushed red under his dark tan at the reminder of all the holes he had put into the Nara clan head's backyard. "I am sorry about that, shishou."

She looked at him sideways, a smirk now on her lips. "Komushi-kun, do you know how much damage _I_ caused as a student of fūinjutsu? You did better than me."

"The both of you were hellions to clean up after, according to Jiraiya-kun." Hiruzen interjected idly, smirking a bit himself around his pipe. "He was always confused over the sheer amount of damage Minato-kun caused, learning that you had learned along with his own student cleared most of that confusion up."

"I at least replaced the furniture we kept destroying." Natsumi countered just as easily. "The structural damage was just a bit out of my skill range."

"Structural damage, sensei?" Koichi asked incredulously, surprised out of his usual wariness in front of someone he didn't know.

"Eight windows, three doors, and two floors." She counted off wryly with a huffed laugh. "We started practicing seals outside after the second hole in the floor. Floorboards are a little tricky to replace."

"Well then, I am glad to hear our chūnin conducted himself with more than adequate respect for you, Natsumi-sama." Satoshi firmly steered the conversation back on topic, but with a faint smirk of his own on his weathered face. "Now, I am sure you all are tired after your travels. We have prepared rooms for you to rest. I will speak to you both at a later time, Hiruzen-sama, Natsumi-sama."

The assassin snapped her fingers, attracting the attention of her genin team and pointing off to where she was sure they were being stuck for the next week. "Komushi-kun, I want to talk to you before you turn in for the night."

"Shishou?"

"I have furniture for you. It's apparently my thing to do for major events. And they're pieces you'll probably need now, to store things and such."

It had been something to work on as she waited for wood shipments and finished up cribs. She had a whole lot more time on her hands since she took on a genin team.

Komushi nodded to show he heard, and the assassin stalked off after her genin students.

(ooo000ooo)

Moving out required more effort than moving in, but Natsumi forced her genin into helping anyways.

They might as well be somewhat useful, especially since the sun was too high for her skin.

Midday in Suna, or anywhere else in the desert, could burn skin faster than one realized.

Komushi was moved a little, according to him. Instead of the chūnin barracks Suna had for unattached shinobi of that rank, he was getting an actual apartment again. A Suna version of a two bedroom one, with the curving outer wall and tightly fitting storm shutters for the windows.

"They probably don't want to hear you explode." Natsumi told him dryly, lounging on the couch her old student was getting along with the rest of the apartment. "We're a bit… _notorious_ for that."

The chūnin laughed weakly. "I've almost made myself go deaf a few times, shishou. I've noticed it."

"I'd advise you to get a sand table. Or just a box of sand." She added after a moment. "It will make a mess, but tossing an exploding seal in one is a better option that blowing holes in the floor. Especially during the times you can't go outside."

Komushi considered the advice, nodding after a moment. "Hai shishou. Anything else?"

"I showed you how to do privacy seals, I would advise a weak version on the room we're setting up like a study. To contain any unfortunate noises." The assassin straightened up as her genin team traipsed back into the Suna shinobi's living room. "You would have to weigh that against the inability to hear what goes on in there against how much you explode a seal or two. So that might not be something you'd go for."

The young man just sighed. "Can't I seal it like your home?"

"You could, but then again my home is supposed to be lethal if you try breaking in. Make a weaker version if you'd like. It's your home, guard it how you like."

"Your home is _lethal_ , sensei?" Ibiki asked delightedly, impressed despite himself. "Awesome."

"Some of the seals on my home are lethal." Natsumi corrected idly, checking how high the sun was. "Komushi, if we keep to the walkways…?"

"You should be fine, shishou." The chūnin nodded, looking out the window at the same thing. "Just keep to the shade."

She hummed absently, turning back to her old student. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to see you again before the week we've got here is up. So for now… I'm going to be sending Kenta back here every month for a year. I'd like to know that you're still in possession of all your fingers sometimes, but if you have further questions he can take messages back to me."

He grinned wryly at the finger quip. It had been a common comment from her, seeing as she did have a vested interest in him retaining all ten fingers. "Since you put in so much effort, shishou, I will be sure to keep myself intact."

"See that you do." The Leaf kunoichi turned to her genin team. "Cover up, and let's go get out of Komushi's hair."

Koichi and Ibiki glared at the cloaks that covered them during the day, but Gai just shrugged and pulled his on.

"Either sunstroke or dehydration, boys. But dehydration is easier to counter, sunstroke will get you confined to the rooms for a few by the medics."

Natsumi smirked as they both grabbed the cloth.

(ooo000ooo)

Sasori inspected the finely jointed sides of the writing table and how they seemed to just fold into the adjoining piece. "This is Natsumi-dono's?"

"My gift for completing the apprenticeship." Komushi nodded at his best friend, carefully placing his calligraphy supplies in the built in drawer. "Shishou said her kenjutsu master did the same thing, gifting her with a katana of her own when she completed her training under Sakumo-sama. Both the table and the scroll case on the far wall are some of her work."

The puppet master walked over to the half full piece of furniture, inspecting the wood grain and finish on it. "It is well done. Not quite a masterwork, but obviously done by an experienced hand."

"You should see shishou's wood workshop." The chūnin told the red head, setting the dry ink stone in it's slot and shutting the drawer. "She doesn't work on wood all the time, but she's gotten good enough to carve full pieces of furniture in a few months. The seals in there were some of the first fūinjutsu I learned."

"Seals… in _woodworking?_ "

Komushi left the desk and pulled one of the scrolls out, showing his best friend the varied number of seals he had adapted from his fūinjutsu master's own versions. "Mostly to preserve her wood stocks until shishou could get to them, but she had a few others that are just as useful. Like preventing rats, insects, or mice from getting into a building, though they were more worried about chipmunks and squirrels, and some to prevent warping in the wood due to moisture in the air."

"Useful." Sasori commented as he peered at the writings, unable to read them very well but finding them starkly fascinating. "Are these complete?"

"No, not yet. I've got a few more bits to work out and adapt to, so it will take me a month or two to finish." Komushi scratched the back of his head. "I've learned the seals she made for it, but shishou said rewriting them for me them makes them last longer when I place them. She's got a full set of script work for this, I've only got about half and a bit more done so far."

"What do you have finished?"

The darker of the two Suna-nin rolled up the scroll. "Mostly explosives so far. A few security seals, two full barriers, and a paralyzing set. I've been working on these, that's why I don't have more. The explosives were what taught me to do it, they're what everyone in Konohagakure started on first. Shishou said that's why most that try teaching themselves fūinjutsu end up dead from it. They try and don't realize the seals weren't blowing up because they were right but because they were wrong."

Sasori inspected his hands as they finished rolling up the scroll. "Is that what cause those scars?"

"Err… no." Komushi lifted his hands, spreading them wide to see all the dotted white marks that ran from fingertips to wrists. "These were from learning to imbue ink with chakra, and not getting them healed up by iryou-nin after the jars exploded."

He blinked a few times. "Exploding _jars?_ "

"Putting chakra in ink is harder than it sounds. If you don't do it right, the ink bubbles out or the jar holding it will burst in your hands. Either way, the ink becomes useless. Learning how took two months and more little wooden jars that I want to remember, and it took another few months before I could do it regularly without shattering one or two occasionally. But you should see _shishou's_ hands, Sasori. She started learning on glass, and she's got more jagged ones across her palms."

"Bad ones?"

"There's one that goes through her hand, left palm to the back of it. She said it was the worst one between her and Minato-san." Komushi rubbed the tiny scars absently, frowning faintly. "It almost spans her whole palm."

Sasori eyed the wooden furniture again, then his best friend's palms. "Obviously it hadn't been enough to cause her any permanent injury. But that does sound painful."

"I'm just happy I started on wooden ones, not glass."

"That does sound preferable." The puppet master smiled slightly, turning to the reason for his visit. "Kaa-san wishes to know if you will come over for dinner tonight."

Komushi blinked, shrugging. "Sure."

\V/

A few days until their scheduled departure from Sunagakure, and Koichi would admit he was confused. "Why do they know her?"

Ibiki blinked over from his reading, warily eyeing him for the sudden question. "Because it's sensei?"

The scout scowled back at him. "That'd be an excuse if it was Konoha. She's also the wife of the Nara clan head, so that's not very unusual at home. But this is _Suna_ , they shouldn't be interested in a Leaf jōnin to the point they know who she is on sight."

Gai paused in his nightly push-up routine, turning his head to look over at his teammates. "Sensei did teach a Suna shinobi sealing… perhaps that is it?"

"And that would be why they know of her, but they don't even have to ask if she is who she is." Koichi bluntly informed him, puzzling over this new mystery. "It's like they've seen her before. But sensei said she's only been to Sunagakure twice before this trip. Once for her chūnin exam, and another quick one with Komushi-san for a visit home and a diplomacy run. So… that doesn't make sense."

"Maybe it's the fighting in Earth they know her from." Ibiki proposed seriously, setting the seal designs he had been given to study to the side of his bed. "Suna's been helping us out there, maybe she and a few other Konoha-nin helped out a group of Suna-nin."

He thought about it, but it still didn't seem to add up. "We need more information."

"Sensei will get annoyed with you."

"No she won't." Koichi denied firmly with a huff. "She's okay with us asking questions, and I'm asking questions about her. Natsumi-sensei never minds when we ask why or how something works."

"Flimsy." The infiltrator scoffed, slipping from his bed to stalk over to the scout. "If we're doing this, you need a better excuse. I don't want to tick sensei off."

Gai pushed up off the ground, tailing Ibiki over with a thoughtful expression. "It does sound as if you are intentionally sneaking behind her back, Koichi-kun."

Rolling his eyes at them poking holes in his argument, Koichi gave it a bit more thought. "How about… we wanted to know the difference between Konoha's point of view and Suna's? There was a big disparity in how Iwa and Kumo saw sensei as a jōnin. We decided we needed another view of her to help us figure out how much of a disparity there really was. And Suna's an ally, it's safe territory to start with."

Ibiki rolled that around in his head. "Sensei doesn't like Kiri, and that's the only other place we haven't seen her from. Might work."

"I prefer that option." The taijutsu specialist added with a touch of dryness.

"Well… now that the team's moral compass has agreed," he dodged the playful swipe Gai made for his head, "we should treat it like an investigation, blatantly. If sensei notices, she'll think of investigation training and probably let us go on our own. We'll probably have to tell her and a few others what we found, but it's less likely to be stopped before we find what we want to know."

"We've got two starting points then." Ibiki declared firmly. "Sensei teaching Komushi-sempai fūinjutsu, and the war effort."

"What about her chūnin exam?" The tai user let Koichi get out of reach, a faint frown now on his face. "Sometimes those are recorded and shown to academy trainees. We got to watch a few ourselves, remember."

He thought about that for a moment, and nodded. "Three then. That one might be the easiest."

Koichi paused on the other side of Ibiki, just in case. "Where to start?"

"Komushi-sempai." The infiltrator decided after some more thought. "He's known to us, and could probably direct us to a few more places. Saying a chūnin of Sunagakure sent us for more information would be better than just having three Konohagakure genin asking around just for the hell of it."

"We can start tomorrow then." The scout proposed slowly. "Otou-sama and sensei have a meeting with Kazekage-sama that's expected to take a while, and we'll have some time to ourselves."

(ooo000ooo)

Komushi looked less that sold on their reasoning, but shrugged after a moment. "How shishou is seen by Suna, huh? Well…"

"Natsumi-dono has a good reputation here." The redheaded shinobi that had been visiting the fūinjutsu user before they got there offered easily. "It started out as simply recognition for surprising skills, something she shares with a lot of other chūnin candidates that performed well in their Sunagakure held chūnin exams. You three should watch your jōnin-sensei's semi-final exhibition match with Namikaze-san. It was interesting to see."

Koichi eyed the ninja, and his very placid expression, uneasily.

Ibiki tugged the scout a bit further behind him, addressing the Sand jōnin before the son of their Hokage could comment and maybe annoy him. "If just recognition is how it started, what happened?"

"Two things. A joint battle by Suna and Konoha against Iwa, and an offer of apprenticeship your sensei made to me on Komushi's behalf."

"You?" The infiltrator frowned suspiciously, studying him. "Why did she make the offer to you?"

"Because I have a suiton chakra nature, same as your sensei. Which is pretty rare in the Land of Wind." Komushi told the genin with a shrug. "And Sasori was one of the Suna-nin there when that fight took place. So he asked if she would consent to teach me some jutsus for it, seeing as most of her early reputation was for the use of a C-ranked water jutsu in her chūnin exam fight. Somehow, she knew how to use a water bullet technique in the middle of a desert. She promised to show me just before she leaves how to do it."

Koichi blinked. "How _would_ someone use a water bullet in the desert? I thought the water for those were drawn from the air or ground and formed in one's mouth?"

"It is, so I had some difficulty expanding my chakra pool enough to learn another nature I wasn't naturally inclined to." The darker of the two Suna-nin scratched the back of his head and shrugged again. "I've got enough now to learn some doton, and I've been working on it. But doton is easier in the desert than suiton."

"How did the request for teaching Water Release jutsus change to an offer of fūinjutsu teaching?" Gai asked, horribly confused.

"I believe it was politically motivated at first." Sasori reasoned aloud with a calm, measure tone. "The Puppet Brigade had just come to your aid in the very mountains of Earth, to ensure both our shinobi could continue the fighting in Iwa's home country. Natsumi-dono was one of the combatants on the field at the time, and she greatly assisted the rout with a kinjutsu and a few seals of her own. At the time, Suna had been disgruntled that a fight between Iwa and Konoha was dragging us into it. But since there were mutual assistance pacts between our villages, we went to assist despite our feelings."

"I heard about that." Koichi realized, recalling his snooping around the Hokage's Tower before graduating the academy. "Otou-sama was trying to find something to repay the assistance with… but our Village Elders didn't like a lot of the things suggested."

"After she made the offer, Natsumi-dono cautioned me it might take at least a year or so." The puppet master continued with a nod. "I believe she had been counting on that kind of thing to delay any apprenticeship from happening right away. However…"

"There hadn't been an actual fūinjutsu user in Sunagakure at the time." Komushi finished sheepishly with a nod. "The best we would've had before shishou offered to teach me is Chiyo-baa-sama. And… although a mistress in the art of puppetry and a very good poison master, Chiyo-baa-sama can only create a seal half the time. Even some of her previously tested fūinjutsu designs fail to take hold on occasion."

Ibiki frowned at the both of them. "I've seen seals around the village. So you have to have some way of getting them."

"Merchants do good business in serviceable fūinjutsu here." Sasori told him seriously. "It was the only method of which we could gain possibly reliable seals from, as baa-sama does not like to ink seals on demand. She is… wary of the art."

"And now you have Komushi-san to assist?"

The fūinjutsu user laughed weakly, scratching the side of his face. "I already have a waiting list of seals to work on, Gai-kun. To help pay back for the two and a half years Suna supported me for my apprenticeship in Konohagakure. Thankfully, shishou got me in contact with a few of the paper merchants from Fire and supplied me with a large roll of sealing paper to start off with. But yes, now we will be less dependent on the merchants to supply our village with usable fūinjutsu."

"Wait. _'Possibly reliable'_?" Koichi scowled at the thought. "You mean some of the merchants sold _faulty_ seals?"

Komushi nodded a few times. "Yes, sometimes. It got to the point we don't tend to use very many seals, just for things we have to use them for. Like for storage. But we don't tend to like explosive seals, as they were the worst offenders."

Gai looked over to Ibiki with some concern. "That doesn't happen in Konoha, right?"

"Sensei said it wasn't unusual to be asked to check a sealing tag or two." The infiltrator supplied slowly. "So it might have been attempted, but we've got enough fūinjutsu users to spot check that kind of thing."

"We didn't, so that was more likely to happen," the fūinjutsu user interjected with some exasperation, "but now we have one, so that may end up being another duty I will be asked to take on."

"Or you will be asked to take on a student of your own, so he or she may do so." Sasori countered with a small smile.

Komushi cringed a bit. "That will be… awkward. But I probably could do it right now."

Ibiki shrugged at the older chūnin. "You taught me some, calligraphy mostly. Sensei even said you did it well."

"True… but I would like a year or two of self-study before taking on a student full time." He replied, rubbing the back of his head as he thought. "Teaching fūinjutsu is… time consuming. I didn't realize how much of shishou's time I took up until I no longer was living with her and Shikaku-sama. The first month on my own was… unnerving. I couldn't call shishou for help or ask a question at dinner, and that almost made me stop trying to ink seal designs on my own."

Gai tilted his head to look directly at the darker tanned Suna-nin. "Then why did sensei offer? That had to be at least a year before she took on a genin team, and she started complaining of being bored after that. Wouldn't she have had more time once she did take on a genin team?"

"Most of Suna took the initial offer from the kunoichi as a gift for the assistance in Earth." Sasori informed him with a little shrug of his own. "When Satoshi-sama made the official request for it, your Hokage-sama approved it quickly enough that the impression remained. Probably undercutting her assumption of how long it would take by a fair bit."

"And learning under a master of the art is a lot more preferable for those that wish to learn." Komushi tacked on dryly, spreading his hands open. "Fūinjutsu can and will explode, especially if you do it wrong. Having someone that already went through the difficult parts of learning guide another is easier on the student. Before shishou offered, anyone wishing to learn in Suna had to do it on their own. We still have horror stories told about the worst explosions and how they killed the shinobi trying to learn. So the offer was greatly appreciated, to both our Village Elders and our shinobi ranks."

The worst of the marks the Suna chūnin had from his apprenticeship were the multitude of tiny scars dotting both hands. Compared to risking death by explosive hard work, the three genin could see why the suggestion had been popular.

"So sensei's popularity only started after she offered to teach Komushi-san." Koichi puzzled out, looking between the Sand shinobi. "But she was known before that from her chūnin exams."

"Your sensei is also rather distinctive, physically." Sasori added with a small smile. "Her eyes make it so she is unable to be confused with another. So she is a recognizable Leaf jōnin, who has done Suna a great boon, and is respectful when meeting Suna shinobi either on or off the field of battle. Therefore, we like her as much as we like foreigners."

"Most of us, anyways." Komushi tacked on wryly. "Ebizo-jii-sama doesn't seem to like shishou much. I would almost go as far to say he rather dislikes her."

The redhead inclined his head to acknowledge the point. "Yes, well… most of us at least respect her for the efforts she has done."

"And about half the Village Elders would rather she not visit if she could, but-"

"Komushi." Sasori frowned faintly at his best friend. "We do get the picture. Some of older members of Suna like Natsumi-dono for the help, even if they don't appreciate the kunoichi herself. The current shinobi ranks on active duty don't mind asking her a few questions, for she has assisted before and they know she will at least listen. The younger ninja hear that, and decided from there what they feel for Konohagakure as an ally. So far, it seems to be favorable to any shinobi with a Leaf hitai-ate."

Koichi blinked up at the tall red head. "Well… sensei is kind of awesome."

"Bit scary sometimes." Ibiki tacked on, as dry as the air around them.

"I think I wish to see sensei's fight with Minato-san." Gai spoke after a moment. "Did she win?"

"Aa… maybe you should see it for yourself."

(ooo000ooo)

"Do I want to know where you three are going so early today?"

Koichi jerked slightly before spinning around to face her, and Natsumi started getting suspicious.

"We're going to see Komushi-sempai, sensei." Ibiki spoke up before the scout could, straight-faced and serious… until he smirked. "He and Sasori-san promised to show us your chūnin exam's semi-final round with Minato-san."

She stared at him for a moment, but the infiltrator didn't even flinch. He always did have an easier time lying to her face than his teammates. "Okay then… have fun."

The assassin watched the three of them bolt off, highly interested in what they were really doing. A glance to Suna's version of ANBU merely netted her a shrug from the cloaked and hooded agent before he followed after her students.

Natsumi pursed her lips, but she had other things to deal with right now than stalk her genin and figure out what they were up to.

Paperwork was ever such fun, and she was going to laugh when Minato started complaining about the deskwork a kage was stuck with.

Paperwork between two Hidden Villages over an apprenticeship had way too many little details to it for Natsumi to seriously consider doing this kind of thing again. Thankfully, Hiruzen was somewhat invested in keeping her from tripping into loopholes or implied favors. A legal wordsmith at the drop of a pin she was not, and the shinobi version of a lawyer would put a shark to shame with their ferocity.

At least she had newfound appreciation for all those chūnin corps members that followed the Hokage out here.

The Third Fire Shadow of the Leaf himself was no slouch on political dealings, Hiruzen could charm his way out of Natsumi's unknowing blunders and keep the foreign Village Elders they were dealing with from getting annoyed with him at the same time. The assassin had wisely decided to shut up as much as she could, she was a bit out of her depth in a council chamber with picky old people that liked to argue unless she had the upper hand.

She had thought she had the upper hand, she freaking _taught_ Komushi _fūinjutsu_ , but she wasn't nearly as sure of that now as when they started. Natsumi might be old if you tilted your head to the side and squinted… but she preferred to fight with her blade, not with words. She left that up to Minato and Mikoto when she could. The assassin couldn't wait until Koichi was mature enough to do this kind of thing, then she could just dump it all on him and avoid the hell out of it.

The end of the apprenticeship had a few final, major threads that still needed to be wrapped up. Like putting into words exactly what she had taught the Sunagakure chūnin, what branches of her art that she was declaring him journeyman status in, and how any future possible student might verify that she had taught Komushi and no longer considered him a student.

She was a bit bemused at the idea that someone wouldn't know who taught Komushi… it was apparently a hot bit of gossip going around right now.

Not to mention her offer to continue answering questions Komushi might have for about a year was being inspected minutely for any malicious motives on her or Konoha's end.

All that was still being argued and discussed… and no one had yet asked who taught her.

Which was a bit… squiggly. Jiraiya had claimed her as a student just before she was physically fifteen… but it was Minato that did the most teaching after Kushina sparked some interested fussing in her. Natsumi was sure that was going to be asked sometime soon, and that wouldn't be fun to hear the arguments over.

Maybe Hiruzen would just let her claim the Toad Sage as her mentor and principal teacher in fūinjutsu?

…but he had made a comment otherwise when they had just reached the village gates.

Damn.

(ooo000ooo)

"I wanted sensei to win." Gai almost pouted as the video tape finished playing the segment their jōnin-sensei fought against Namikaze Minato for her chūnin exam. "That was an interesting fight."

Sasori poked the clunky television set, turning the screen off. "We currently use the match as an implicit warning not to become too reliant on judging what actions an enemy may choose to use in certain terrains. But Natsumi-dono is very good at surprising others, from what I've seen of her personally and what actions she seems to take."

"She was… what? Thirteen?" Koichi asked aloud of all the shinobi in the room, puzzling over how young their jōnin-sensei had looked. Natsumi-sensei had been a very skinny young girl. "I think she might have been better than us."

"I'm pretty sure Gai-kun could've taken her in close combat, she didn't seem to do too well in the taijutsu part." Ibiki noted dryly as he got up to his feet. "Of course, then you'd have to take into account the bokken she was using. Sensei's damn good with a katana. She had to have some kind of skill with it even back then if Minato-san put in the effort to disarm her so quickly."

Komushi snickered a little. "And then you need to think about that surprise water bullet. I still can't wait until shishou tells me how she did that."

"Sensei might not have been the most skilled, but she was very crafty with what she had." The tai user tacked on thoughtfully.

"Natsumi-sensei is always crafty." The scout replied wryly, getting up so the five of them could leave the small room Sasori had taken them to see the recorded semi-final exhibition match their jōnin-sensei fought against the man she sometimes called brother. "Trying to sneak things past her is hard."

"Which begs the question why do you still try to do it?" The assassin herself idly asked as she watched them leave the small office room. "Really, Koichi-kun?"

He almost tripped, Gai had to grab the back of his shirt to keep him from face planting on the floor. "Sensei?"

"Rawr." She inspected each genin, then flicked her eyes to the two older Suna shinobi. "Komushi, Sasori-kun. Thanks' for humoring my gakis."

"Not a problem, shishou."

The puppet master merely inclined his head to the kunoichi.

Koichi let the tai used haul him upright, weakly trying to smile in the jōnin's direction. "Heh… hi, Natsumi-sensei."

"I thought you and Hokage-sama were still talking to the Suna Elders about Komushi-sempai's apprenticeship paperwork, sensei." Ibiki redirected rather neatly.

It didn't help much, she merely smirked at him. "I took a break, they're currently going through what else might result from the continued long-distance mentorship. Now, care to tell me what you three where looking into?"

"They were curious as to how Suna perceives you, Natsumi-dono." Sasori offered after a beat, when all three genin looked to each other to answer. "We have just finished watching your chūnin exam match against Namikaze-san."

She gave him a wry grin for the answer. "I'd be less annoyed if they'd only stop neglecting a major source of information."

Koichi scowled at the slight against his intelligence gathering skills. "What source?"

"Me." Natsumi flatly replied, frowning faintly at him. "Why not ask the one person here who is predisposed to help you figure out what you want to know?"

Because Koichi had asked lots of questions before, only to be redirected around. Sometimes nicely and sometimes not, but usually without an answer to his inquires.

"We will get him to go to you more, sensei." Gai told the older kunoichi solemnly. "But…"

"I know." Natsumi smirked at him, then looked at each of them in turn. "So, how Suna sees me. What have you found so far?"

The scout kept his mouth shut, so Ibiki started after giving him a searching stare. "You're used as a point in the Sunagakure academy classes. So they know not to make assumptions about what type of jutsu an opponent may choose to use."

"Suna apparently did appreciate you teaching Komushi-san fūinjutsu." The tai user added after a moment, watching the silent Koichi out of the corner of his eye. "And the action, even if it had been politically motivated, was seen in a good light. So building off the recognition Suna held for any surprising chūnin examinee, the news you were now teaching a difficult shinobi art to one of their own, seemingly in return for their assistance in Earth, was received positively."

"Yay… I'm popular." Natsumi quipped dryly. "However…?"

"The elders didn't all like it." The unusually silent genin finally spoke up. "They let it go on, because fūinjutsu is dangerous to learn and you were teaching Komushi-san. So they liked that part of it. But the older generation that would normally stay in Suna to defend or run the village are against you coming here, even if you're just visiting."

"Which is where we run into human nature." She finished, still as dry as the desert outside the village as she knelt down to their level. "The older generation that run the village might not all like me, and I could really care less about them, but the Sand shinobi that we are working with in Earth know who I am and like the mental image they have of me. They associate that with the other Leaf ninja they're working with, and are more predisposed to work with us if the apprenticeship was the kind of thing we'd repay that help with. Which wasn't entirely what I was going for, but it's a nice bonus."

"Why?"

Natsumi glanced up to Komushi, who looked rather confused. "Why what? Why did I do this, or why wasn't that what I was going for?"

The chūnin scratched a cheek. "Both?"

"I made the offer to Sasori-kun… because he interested me." She remarked blandly. "A puppet user as skilled and as young as he is was impressive, and I wanted to know more. So I listened to him ask me to teach you, someone he worried and cared for, suiton jutsus. I gave him an option your Kazekage would approve and I was willing to do, and stated he would have to convince our respective Shadow Leaders it was a good idea. But I did it initially to maybe keep an eye on a valuable and impressive ally in a year's time. Because I wanted to know more, of what kind of shinobi he would make in a few years and what kind of person he would be fully grown."

"And Otou-sama thought it was a good idea as soon as he heard it." Koichi realized, looking between his jōnin-sensei and the red head that had started Komushi's apprenticeship. "In return for Suna's aid in Earth."

"That part of it is all Hiruzen-sama's fault." The kunoichi remarked idly with a one-shoulder shrug. "I had assumed it would take a year or so to come into being. The letter from Satoshi-sama nearly a month later, formally asking me to take Komushi on as a student, was a bit of a surprise. So the impression of rewarding Sunagakure for their aid was all Hiruzen-sama's fault, but it was true in a way as well."

Ibiki and Gai exchanged a confused look, but the infiltrator was the one to ask. "Sensei? Shouldn't you _not_ tell Sasori-san you're trying to keep an eye on him?"

"Ninja networking is an awesome thing." Natsumi stated blandly, twisting around to the redhead in question. "Sasori-kun? Do you mind that I want to see what kind of Suna shinobi you become in a few years?"

"Not at all, Natsumi-dono."

She nodded and turned back to her genin. "We do it almost reflexively, when you get around our age. I had something he wanted, suiton techniques to teach his friend, he had something I wanted, an opinion on Suna as a part of it and his rather fascinating art of puppetry I will never be able to use. So we traded. I taught Komushi a bit more than he asked for, so Sasori-kun doesn't mind me admiring his skills or asking about Suna's publicly stated stances on whatever topic."

Koichi blinked a few times, bemused. "Ninja… _networking?_ "

"Cultivating sources of information through trades for either information, favors, or skills." The kunoichi's lips curled into a smirk. "Which you tend to neglect, gaki. I, as your jōnin-sensei, am supposed to be your first ninja contact for additional skills or information. Since, apparently, I'll cost you less. Which is why, in Konohagakure, you tend to remain in contact with your genin team's jōnin leader even after the cell breaks up later on. The jōnin is higher ranking, and generally hears more than any chūnin or tokubetsu jōnin would. I talk to Jiraiya-sensei when I find more questions to ask, and he still talks to Minato and Inoichi too."

"I still talk to my old jōnin-sensei." Komushi added sheepishly. "As a matter of fact, I should go talk to him sometime soon."

"Mukade-san was despairing over you never sending him a letter, Komushi." The puppet master informed his best friend with a small smirk.

The chūnin laughed weakly, sheepishly cringing at that news. "I always intended to… I just forgot."

Natsumi gave him a flat stare. "You always had a letter for Sasori-kun when I Summoned Kenta for mail runs. Are you telling me you never thought to send letters to your poor, hard-working jōnin-sensei? I now feel sorry for the man, how rude of you Komushi."

The darker skinned shinobi pretended to wince, shying away from his fūinjutsu master's playful ire. "Forgive me, shishou. For I was naughty."

She huffed a laugh as she rose back up to her full height. "Nice. But you know I'm telling Shika all about this when I get home, right?"

Komushi frowned faintly, scratching the back of his head. "Err… shishou? Can you not tell him I said that? I don't think Shikaku-sama liked me very much. He is kind of… scary."

The Leaf jōnin blinked at him, a little surprised. "What, really? Shika didn't dislike you, Komushi. He just… didn't like the idea of another male in the house at first. He got over that."

"I… err… _saw_ that, shishou…"

"Saw what?"

Komushi went brick red under his dark tan. "Uh… nothing?"

Sasori looked at his friend questioningly, and the genin team all looked to their sensei in confusion.

Natsumi made a noise of realization before the chūnin's flush faded. "Ah… that. Heh… I'd say sorry… but I'm not."

"Yes, well… I learned not to go downstairs until you called me for breakfast rather fast after that." Komushi muttered irritably. "That was… not something I wanted to see."

She tried to wipe the amusement from her face, but failed due to the wicked smirk on her lips not flattening out. "Aa… fun things. Alright, so… gakis, any more questions?"

Ibiki nudged the quiet Koichi rather hard in the ribs, but he just glared back at his teammate.

"Koichi-kun?"

"No sensei. That answered my questions."

The kunoichi hummed a moment, not looking convinced but allowing the subject to be dropped. "Alright then. I probably need to get back to the council chambers, Sasori-kun? Care to join me?"

"Not really." The puppet master deadpanned, slight amusement showing on his normally bland face. "I will leave dealing with our Elders to you, Natsumi-dono, as I seem to have the desire to see Komushi ink a seal of his own."

"Not nice." She pouted at him, but shrugged. "Don't blame you though, I tend to avoid even Konoha's Village Elders. They're very… ornery, aren't they?"

(ooo000ooo)

Koichi eyed her as he stuck his soba noodles with his chopsticks a few times. "Hey… sensei?"

Natsumi blinked, looking over at the scout. "Hmm?"

"…how _did_ you use a water bullet in a desert?"

The assassin set her utensils down. "Well… any theories?"

He frowned at her warily, but started slowly. "Maybe your canteen was open?"

"Minato kept checking me over while we waited, I wouldn't have been able to use that without tipping him off. And… one canteen wouldn't have given me enough water for a good sized bullet."

"…did someone use a storage scroll full of water before your fight?"

"Mmm… good guess, but no."

"…I give up. How?"

"Well, you recall the lessons in elemental jutsu uses, right? You need an element on hand in order to use it for a jutsu. Usually it's not a problem, earth and air are everywhere. Katon and raiton can come from the body itself. But like how lightning can harm the user if not drawn right, earth can cause rock or mudslides, wind is sometimes double edged to use, and fire can end up setting fires… water has a drawback. You need some water on hand for suiton, but water is a bit tricky to get in enough volume. So… I improvised."

Ibiki looked over at her, interested. "How?"

"Well… I drank the water. It was a little uncomfortable to fight with… but I managed to sip my way through two canteens in fifteen minutes and use that to pull off a water bullet."

Koichi froze, jaw dropping open. Ibiki cracked up laughing, abandoning his dinner to clutch at his stomach. Gai blinked a few times at her, confused.

"So… technically, I threw the water up. Minato claims he's never forgiving me for that."

"That… is disgusting, sensei."

She hummed, a wicked smirk on her lips. "I know, Koichi-kun. But it worked… and you asked."

The scout hunched his shoulders and gave her a glare. "Shouldn't I get some positive reinforcement for at least asking?"

"While I'm thrilled beyond measure you're asking me questions again… there wasn't any way I could pretty that little fact up. Did you want me to try?"

Koichi warily eyed her as he picked up his chopsticks again. "…no thanks, sensei."

\V/

Mikoto smiled softly at the Leopard that leapt up onto the porch. "Kenta-san. I take it Natsumi and the Hokage are on their way back?"

The big cat inclined his sleek head to her. "Yes, Mikoto-san. Natsumi-sama bid me to inform you that you may begin."

"Well… now that we have _Natsumi's_ permission," the genjutsu mistress remarked dryly, a smirk curling her painted lips, "we should get on with it. When she Summons you again, inform her that we have started."

Kenta blinked at her once, then dismissed himself with a rush of burnt chakra.

The Uchiha matron turned to her curious son, who inspected the spot the feline had stood. "Okaa-sama?"

"Just a message for a little project of ours, Itachi-kun." She smoothed down his longish hair. "You need a cut again."

He pouted, grasping at the fringe of hair that hung down. "No please. I like it, it's more like yours now."

Mikoto blinked at her usually very obedient three-year-old son. "Well… alright then. I'll show you how to tie it back once it is long enough."

Itachi let go of his hair, peering up at her with a shy smile. "Thank you, okaa-sama."

"Shall we go see if Hana-chan would like to play?"

"Hai."

\V/

"Komushi thought I was _scary?_ "

"I'd give him fierce looking, hubby mine. A little bit wild, maybe, from the scars some bitch from Kiri carved into your face. You looked rugged well before that, even." Natsumi informed him mischievously, toweling off her hair as she walked back into the bedroom. "Or maybe even somewhat intimidating, because you can glare when you want… but he keeps insisting you were just scary."

"I'm hurt, truly." Shikaku deadpanned with a dry smirk from their bed. "Alas, poor me. I am loved so little…"

She threw her towel at his head. "Oh shut up."

Peeling the thick cloth off himself, the shadow master arched an eyebrow at her. "So, besides a little investigation into you by your gakis and a discussion of how scary I apparently am, how did the rest of the trip go?"

"Mind-numbingly boring, Shika. I am eternally thankful I can't sit in for you on the clan council meetings, if half of the discussion I heard over every little action I've taken over the last two years for Komushi was any judge of ours."

"Not much of a politician, are you?"

Natsumi grabbed her hair comb and crawled onto the bed, sitting cross-legged next to her prone husband propped up on the pillows. "I highly prefer my usual methods of killing people, thanks. Talking them to death seems like… a pointlessly annoying method of demise."

Shikaku snagged the comb, sitting upright and pulled her hair back so he could straighten it. "So just boring?"

"Well… not entirely. I had some real fun rubbing Komushi's skills into Ebizo-jii-sama's nose, Chiyo-baa-sama helped me do it too. Though, I think she only helped because it was pretty much like pulling his nose. Komushi took us to a dango shop to try some Sand Dango, which really does have the texture of sand but it's very good. And my genin figured out how to adjust to desert temperatures." Natsumi sighed, feeling the tugs on her hair and simply tilting her head back. "Explored a bit more of Suna, but I kept running into others wanting to redirect me. They were very nice about it, but…"

"It's _Suna_ , wife mine. They're not going to be all that happy you wanted to poke around." He tugged her hair a few times, smirking when she flatly glared at him. "Even if you are somewhat liked there, you're still a Leaf kunoichi. We wouldn't let a Sand shinobi wander unchecked through the village, and Komushi ignored his own watchers pretty well."

The assassin huffed, rolling her eyes as she tugged her head back so her braid would be straight. "I know, but… it was interesting to see a different shinobi village than Konoha. I know Konohagakure, but I don't know much about Sunagakure."

"Really, Natsu?"

"…I like history. It was… a… hobby of mine." She told him flatly, staring ahead at the far wall. "I had to burry that, mostly, because asking questions like that now is… not looked on well here. And now… learning some of it is just tempting, since no one seems to like historic accounts."

Shikaku tugged her backwards using his hold on her hair, frowning down at her once she fell backwards across his lap and he could see her face fully. "History?"

"I liked reading about ancient history… why?"

He let go of the half-finished braid, hauling her up backwards so she was sitting in his lap. "There's a few accounts from before the clan joined Konoha in the Nara library, I've read a few. There might be a few more with the Akimichi and Yamanaka clans. I'll ask Chouza and Inoichi to see if they have anything... and you can fuss with that all you want."

Natsumi blinked a few times up at him, then her lips curled up in a small smirk. "Are you trying to _bribe_ me into finding a new hobby you can watch, Shika? Or to stay out of trouble?"

"Bit of both, Natsu." Shikaku told her blandly. "We're already borrowing trouble with Minato's little plan, do me a favor and try not to get into more."

"I'll try."


	16. Wait For It

_If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?_

_\- John Wooden_

* * *

"I will not cut the third year of the academy, Shimura-sama." Natsumi glared at the Village Elder, wondering what in the hell had possessed him to request such a thing.

Danzō dully stared back at her, and with his one eye and bandaged face it looked a bit creepy. "We need the soldiers now, Nara-sama, not later."

"Look, cutting the third year would only harm us in the long run." The assassin ran a hand though her hair, frustrated. This hadn't been what she was expecting when she finally got back to looking over the academy after coming back from Sunagakure no Sato.

"I can start shoving them out a few months early, we've been doing that for years. I can start them on genin mission work half a year early, in small groups when they prove capable for it and work well in their little mocked up squads. I can even do first kills and the counseling for that while they're here. But cutting the third year would only harm the Genin Corps, as they usually get half to two thirds of every class. And we rely on them, for continuing the busy work most jōnin-sensei use for team building exercises and an ungodly amount of minor but required jobs around the village or the greater parts of the country. Graduating the kids early would only give us about fifty new bodies more than usual, and even then they wouldn't be nearly as good as the ones that do eventually graduate from the entire academy coursework. They won't have the same skills or knowledge as most genin, and training them up later on would eat away at that time you're hoping to save."

Hiruzen puffed on his pipe in the corner, just watching his old friend and the ANBU captain he had shoved on the academy argue.

Koharu, the one female member of the Village Councilors she somewhat liked, subtly positioned herself in front of Danzō to retain her attention. "Are you suggesting that Danzō-sama's request is a bad one?"

"No, Utatane-sama. It's something we'll only be able to do once, and even then the end results would be questionable. I'm not suggesting, it _is_ a bad idea."

The Hokage coughed, but she ignored him for the moment. She had bigger fish to fry.

"I can start them on genin work early. Usually by second year we kind of know what team they might end up on, and I can stick a jōnin on already half-formed teams. That way, we'll get the benefit of genin without actual genin and I can finish training them here while it happens, even the jōnin would probably get around to heading out of the village on missions a bit earlier that way. You can even take the money they would've earned if they had been graduated, although I'm aware that's not really all that much."

Homura scowled, squaring himself off against her next to Danzō. Natsumi was just idly amused that she could take an impression that the old men were aligned for this change but not old woman, making her wonder if Koharu just went along with Danzō for lack of a better option. But for some reason she also wasn't over on the side with Hiruzen, who seemed to be neutral on this little argument.

"That will not give us any significant advantage, Nara-sama. You need-"

"To do _nothing_. Butchering out the third year will not give us that significant advantage you are seeking either, Mitokado-sama. All it will do is get the genin killed faster, and that's bad for morale." Natsumi made it a point to include Danzō in her irritated glare, as the one-eyed bastard seemed to like proposing something then remaining silent to observe and be overlooked.

She knew that ROOT had a purpose and had fulfilled that so far ever since the Second War, it was half the reason why Hiruzen was being stubbornly blind to the greater issue _Ne_ would become in only a matter of time. Danzō plainly wasn't a nice person, he would never pass as a fatherly or uncle type to anyone with half a brain. What he was, was a good leader when it came to dodgy situations and no slouch on the political side either. ROOT was, at this time, less of a fringe group working in spite of Konohagakure's benefit and more of a second shadow of the Leaf. She knew it was almost ready to start going against some of the Leaf's long held aims just for the old man's delusional bid for the hat.

It was just… Danzō was getting a bit strange now. Not that she had any great dealings with the man before she was unofficially introduced to him in the Hokage's office as Panther the assassin, but she knew he usually had kept to his own corner of Konoha before starting to gain some confusing interests in both the orphanage and the academy.

As someone who was a bit strange herself, he just rubbed Natsumi too far the wrong way for the two of them to ever be polite to each other… or maybe she was just predisposed to hate his guts.

She didn't care enough to try figuring that one out.

"Do you have a different suggestion then, Natsumi-sama?"

The assassin glanced at the retired kunoichi for a moment, frowning only slightly at her. "Genin won't solve any personal shortage we're having in other countries. Point of the matter is that they're too green to be of much use on the battlefield and they're not even deployed that far out. Try talking to my husband, and see if he has a suggestion on how to change around deployments for better results. He _is_ a tactical genius."

Homura bristled slightly, trying to glare down the ANBU captain standing in his way. "If Shikaku-sama has no acceptable solution, will you then-"

" _No_." Natsumi didn't even allow him to finish, highly unwilling to allow these two retired shinobi to screw up what she had spent so much time on at this late date. "Gutting the academy will not solve the problem, so I'm not going to do anything to it without urgent need for _genin_ to save the village."

Which she knew was fully possible, but since Naruto wasn't even born yet she wasn't going to do a damn thing about it right now.

All three of the retired ninja looked to the Hokage, who only mildly stared back at them as he puffed his pipe.

Since it didn't look like their leader would reprimand the kunoichi, Danzō suddenly swept out of the office room most of the academy-sensei used when not holding classes. Homura was only a few steps behind him, but Koharu was at least polite enough to give Natsumi a nod of her head before making her own way out.

The assassin herself pinched the bridge of her nose, sinking backwards into her usual seat when overlooking the academy's progress reports and possible genin team builds. "I really, really don't like him."

"Which him, neko-chan?"

"Mhmm, allow me to rephrase that. I really don't like those old men."

Hiruzen studied her for a moment, but just inclined his head to acknowledge the point. "I was going to mention sometime soon that you did not have to remain as the academy's head, as I only wanted for you to solve the issue you were so concerned over and fix the problems you caused. But, in light of this, would you mind…"

"Remaining as a kind of oversight? I was going to do that anyways." Natsumi told the older shinobi honestly with only a slight smirk. "I like doing this. If I didn't think the chūnin would revolt over a jōnin taking one of their responsibilities, I'd ask if when I retire if I could do this full-time."

He chuckled, pulling the pipe out of his mouth. "I do not believe you would have the time, Natsumi-chan. You always seem to be involved in something. However, you passed along that you wished to speak with me?"

"I'm going to go over Summons and their Contracts with my gakis soon. They're almost ready to decide if they're going to get one or not. I'm not sure what Koichi-kun wants to do, he refuses to tell me if he wants one of his own or yours."

The Hokage nodded, looking up at the ceiling and frowning faintly. "I will speak with him."

Natsumi remained silent and let him gather his thoughts, knowing full well Hiruzen had a few regrets on how little time he had to spend with his first born son.

The Hokage's hat had slightly estranged father and son, which was neither's fault but just circumstance and life getting in the way. Even young Asuma wasn't strongly attached to his father, he preferred getting attention from his older brother or mother since that was what he was used to.

The Sandaime was a war-time leader, he had guided Konohagakure through the end of one war already and seemed to be going strong enough to finish the second one they were involved with. That ate up a lot of the older man's time and energy, to the point that he was rather infamous for not going home in the evening just to get everything he needed to do for any one day done.

Hopefully Minato won't have as much trouble when he got the hat, as he would possibly be getting the damned thing in a time of peace and would have less to do overall. Hiruzen would probably be willing to assist her blond almost-brother as well, which would go far in making less work for the Yondaime to handle.

Before that, though, Natsumi wanted the Danzō situation decided one way or another. She had to wonder if this was the crotchety old man testing the waters or just a feint to attract attention in the wrong direction. She knew he had been sniffing around Tenzou and Naomi, from what Ito had told her once she had returned from the fighting in Earth.

She also knew vaguely that he had done something to the orphanage from her little alternate story in her head… but what the heck had he been doing here?

"Thank you for informing me, neko-chan." Hiruzen replaced his pipe, folding his arms behind himself. "I will leave you to this, since it is in good hands. However, you may wish to warn Shikaku-kun you're about to drop that situation in his lap."

The assassin blinked at him, then bolted out of her chair and ran for the door. Throwing a half-garbled thanks to the Sandaime over her shoulder once clear of the doorway and thanking every kami she knew that Minato did have such a bad habit of spamming his Hiraishin seals everywhere.

She'd take the option of teleporting over trying to outrun a trio of retired ninja.

\V/

"So… can I ask a possibly awkward question?"

Shikaku sorted through the equipment he had brought with him on their mission, looking for the slightly different rations his wife occasionally stuck in his traveling packs. They at least tasted better than the standard fair, and if you added enough water it wouldn't threaten to break teeth. He held the suspicion they were ANBU standard rations she mixed up in order to give him something slightly better now and again, and usually spared a few ill thoughts on whoever decided the jōnin standard rations had to be worse than ANBU's. "Depends on the question."

Inoichi tapped his fingers against his thigh, frowning faintly into the dark. "You and Natsumi have a… err, healthy relationship, right?"

"Yes?" The Nara clan head offered uncertainly as he looked up from his pack, wondering where the heck the Yamanaka was going with this.

Even Chouza looked over with some surprise, and he was on watch for their target at the moment.

"Why?" The head interrogator of Konoha flushed lightly when Shikaku gave him a slightly incredulous look, but continued anyways. "I mean how did it end up that way? I know the two of you have had a few fights, but at the end of the day she's still usually sitting in your lap perfectly happy to be there."

"Is this about the long string of girlfriends you've gone though over the years?" The shadow master asked instead of answering, giving his best friend most of his attention instead of what he was probably going to be eating that night. "Are you trying to figure out why those relationships didn't work out right?"

Inoichi scowled, running a hand through the ponytail that held most of his hair back. "Maybe. I know most of why, but what I want to know is what I'm doing wrong."

Shikaku slumped back against the pine tree he was hidden behind, giving up on finding the ANBU standard rations he was sure Natsumi had hid in his mission gear. "I'm fairly certain she's addicted to it. It just makes her happy, so she's doing everything she can to ensure it continues. Most of what she ends up doing isn't really necessary, but I can at least appreciate the effort she goes to in making it last longer."

The blond blinked at him, shocked speechless.

"Of course she's knows some of what she does isn't really publicly acceptable behavior… but damn if she really doesn't care in the first place."

" _What?_ "

"What? I thought you were asking about her overly affectionate public cuddling? Natsu's addicted to being touched and held. She's bold enough to do it right in front of Hiruzen-sama, you know. Though, he's one of the few nice enough to look away while she snuggles up to me."

Inoichi looked to be wishing rather hard for the cover to reach over and smack his team leader, so Shikaku swallowed back his snickers and answered the man honestly.

"We share interests, which helps. She also knows me and what I like, and I know her and what she likes. More often than not, those interests and likes are almost the same. So it works. She gets to be held and I don't care enough to make her stop, so I get a happy wife and she's willing to let me nap or play shogi after handling our clan's business while she fusses over the day to day chores. Mostly our off days follow that pattern."

"Momo and I are like that too, Ino." Chouza piped in helpfully, keeping most of his attention on the road they had staked out for a couple days already. "Beyond the part where I like to eat and she likes to cook, she likes the freedom to experiment in a kitchen and help out with the restaurants my clan controls and I like that she helps out in my place when I have to handle the clan's other business."

He knocked his head back against the fir tree he was crouched under, and Shikaku idly wondered exactly when he started caring what kind of trees they were passing by while the interrogator gathered his thoughts.

Probably around the time he started bringing back a few bits so Natsumi would know what kind of trees were where when she wanted to find some more stock wood for her carving hobby. She was always very appreciative that he did it, and that kind of reward was something no self-respecting male would pass up… or maybe that was just her expressing her appreciation for his return from whatever mission, as she never really liked it when he was gone from home and she had to remain behind.

Either way, going home was something the Nara clan head looked forward to at the end of every mission and not just because it meant he could take it easy for a few days.

"Target spotted." Chouza spoke up suddenly, easing himself back behind the bolder they had found and moved for the added cover. "He's got guards, Shika."

"Not a problem, switch to the pincer plan. How many?"

"Six."

The shadow master snorted softly, easing his way up the trunk with a judicious application of chakra control when there wasn't a handy branch positioned where he needed it. He examined each of the guards, picking out the weapons and where it was likely they had more stashed. Probably not higher ranked than chūnin. Konoha, Iwa, and Kumo was stressed out too much to commit more to any purely civilian mission request.

It was just luck and happenstance that his team had been available for mission work when the Intel on this Kumo diplomatic mission to Mist had come through Intelligence.

"Chou, once I move. Ino, you ready?"

Inoichi applied a minor genjutsu to the tree trunk he was against, rolling up to his feet once it took hold to hide his bright hair until it was too late. "Yep."

Chouza might be a massive shinobi well suited to intimidation tactics like the rest of his clan and Shikaku could pin people in place with their own shadows like the rest of his, but both of them had limitations on moving when doing so. The Akimichi, in full armor and about a quarter more than his usual body size, was slow in any ninja's estimation even without the added weight. A Nara, when concentrating on their clan's signature jutsus to bend the very shadows to their will, couldn't spare much attention to moving their body when securing more than two or three targets at the same time.

Their Yamanaka team member more than made up for that. Inoichi read body language well enough to the point he could reliably predict where and when who would move for what, and counter it all usually before their opponents moved to take out either Shikaku or Chouza until their trap snapped them in place.

Dropping a few feet before the front guards, the shadows around the Nara's feet lashed out and snagged three of them before the rest of their targets realized they were under attack. Inoichi bolted in with a shunshin and snapped the neck of the one on the left before he could get out of Shikaku's reach or retaliate, and when their main target moved to retreat he instead ran smack into Chouza's chest and missed the bō's sweep in the nick of time to save his head from cracking.

His last two guards weren't as fortunate. As focused as they were on the shadow master and the threat he represented, they missed the Akimichi's silent arrival by shunshin and never knew they were in his path. One of them might have nicked the Nara with a kunai, but they still hadn't been able to do much damage to him thanks mainly to Chouza.

Shikaku made his three dig a weapon out and cut their own throats, giving a nod to Inoichi when he took the weapon he grabbed in order to make the others mimic him.

With the guards taken care of, the Intelligence team focused on the emissary they had been sent to take prisoner.

Who was squarely under Chouza's armored foot, pale as a ghost and almost gibbering in fear.

The Nara sighed and wiped the small trickle of blood off his neck, reaching down to start stripping off metal from the six Kumo ninja they had just killed. "Well… this will be fun."

Inoichi eyed the diplomat suspiciously. "Think we should knock him out? Or do you think he might have the skills to get himself loose if he wakes?"

"I've got a few of Natsu's seals, but none of them are for taking prisoners. More like blowing them to bits."

The interrogator checked his thigh holster, tugging a few slips of paper out of it. "I've got something Mina mocked up for me years ago. I never got around to using them, and they should still work."

"It's not the squirrel seal, is it?"

Chouza risked a look up at them. "Wasn't that one the one that made the squirrels turn inside out when released?"

The emissary gave a squeak, his eyes rolling back into his head as he fainted dead away.

"This is why ninja villages have shinobi diplomats." Shikaku commented idly as the Akimichi poked the insensible man with a toe, shaking out a weapon pouch to remove the Kumogakure forged kunai out of it. "Less easy to rattle."

"He might be faking?" Inoichi tried uncomfortably, dropping the faked suspicion for some concern. Their mission was supposed to end with that man still alive to be questioned, not suffering a heart-attack. "He can't be that wimpy… can he?"

"Well… look at it this way Ino. He'll be less trouble to crack back in the village."

"Isn't he some noble's diplomat?" Chouza asked before the interrogator could throw a rock at their team leader's head out of irritation, checking to ensure the man was alive and hadn't suffered from a sudden heart attack and didn't have anything that would allow him to escape later. "He makes his living by talking at things. Why would he know what to do when attacked by shinobi?"

"I'm pretty sure Kumo tells it's civilians to get the hell out of the way when ninja start fighting." Inoichi claimed as he moved to help Shikaku gather what metal they could before burning the bodies. "Of course we practically tell ours the same thing, but add that they should remain behind the ones with the Leaf hitai-ate or take cover."

"Umm… guys? He soiled himself. I think we may have overdid it."

Shikaku pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to snicker like a little boy. "There's a river somewhere south of us. We'll throw him in and force him to walk back."

Their Yamanaka teammate slid away from the prone form, pointedly gathering up the loose metal off the ground now that the dead bodies had been searched. "I'm not carrying him down there."

Chouza glared at the blond, so the Nara stopped to dig some rope out of his pack. "Tie his hands together and just drag him, Chou."

Shikaku also found the ANBU rations Natsumi had packed for him at the same time, so he chewed on that while the interrogator pack away the metal so it wouldn't clank and their taijutsu user finished tying up their mission's target.

In exchange for not carrying the prisoner, Inoichi shouldered the bulk of the steel they had gathered up after setting fire to the corpses and Shikaku remained on point to keep watch for any trouble now that the main part of their mission was over.

The sting of a fresh cut rather pointedly reminded the Nara that even a well-placed genin could hit a jōnin with something lethal if that jōnin was even a bit overconfident. He didn't have his wife's chakra control over blood, that kunai could've killed him if Chouza hadn't knocked the aim off before the chūnin could release the weapon.

(ooo000ooo)

Hatake Midori was born on the twenty-seventh of October, and spent most of the morning of her birth being cooed over by the nurses before Eri was packed up and sent home with baby in tow.

Midori, once she figured out what this being born business was all about, apparently decided she heartily disliked it. She then let the rest of the family know her displeasure with the new circumstances by voicing it.

Loudly.

"Maybe a stubborn gas bubble?" Kakashi wondered, having spent the last few months picking his way through the few books medics had for newborn babies and what they required.

Natsumi tried not to cringe as she started patting the baby on the back, the last attempt in an ever-widening search for what was bothering the newborn to the point she was wailing out her little lungs. The exhausted mother of the little girl was confined to the couch, as that was as far as Sakumo had gotten the two of them before Midori decided she wanted to find out how much vocal range she had. The shinobi himself was rather desperately searching for what else they could try to settle his new daughter down.

Midori apparently agreed with her new brother. The baby suddenly spit up half her stomach's contents all over Natsumi's chest, then burped loudly in the kunoichi's face.

Sakumo ducked his head in a hurry, but not before the assassin spotted the smirk on his face to go with the hastily smothered snickers. Even Eri didn't spare the Nara's dignity, chuckling as she gingerly took back her new and now quiet daughter from the kunoichi.

Kakashi just looked at the mess disgustedly, gingerly scooting away from her. "Is she going to do that often?"

Natsumi plucked the front of her tank top, pulling the reeking, milky mess away from her skin. "Yes, and go through an unholy amount of diapers for the next few months. Joy to be you, Kashi-kun."

Tugging at his half-face mask to ensure it was covering his sensitive nose, the genin looked desperately at his father. "Really? That's disgusting."

"You weren't the cleanest baby either, Kakashi-kun." The head of the Hatake clan informed his son blithely, giving the daughter he never had a grin in exchange for her sour look. "Go wash up, neko-chan. I think you still have something to wear around here somewhere."

"I'm pretty sure what little is left here is either Minato's or Shika's old training clothes I stole for nightwear because they can't do their own damn laundry or I was a bit too lazy, taicho." She got up from the couch anyways, keen to get the baby mess off her. "Where are they?"

"I'll get them." Kakashi streaked up the stairs before the assassin, probably just to get away from the smell.

Natsumi didn't blame the brat, she was feeling rather grimy herself. "Don't bother moving, Eri-kaa-san. I'll cook dinner."

"What about your husband, neko-chan?"

"Shika's out on mission, so he's not due back for another night or two. And if he gets home early, it's not that hard to figure out where I'm at."

Eri, who had gone into labor late last night and ended up giving birth to Midori in the early hours, didn't have enough energy to argue now that the newborn wasn't keying her nerves up too much to nod off. Sakumo ended up waving the assassin off to her shower as he circled around the couch to ensure his wife was as comfortable as a woman who just gave birth could be.

After Natsumi peeled off her soiled clothing and washed up, she did figure out the old clothing she had left here was in fact Minato's old things. One of his training shirts that was more holes than cloth and a very old pair of her chūnin training pants… which she almost couldn't fit back into.

Damn her broad hips, and the rather stocky body she had now.

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku did actually make it back home early, and didn't seem to mind relocating to the Hatake clan for the evening while she cooked dinner for them all.

Natsumi doled out dinner wherever the members of the Hatake clan had ended up by the time it was done, Sakumo and Eri in the living room and Kakashi's dinner left in the dojo's entryway for when he finished up whacking the living straw out of his current training dummy. She served herself and her husband before packing the last of it away in bento boxes for tomorrow, since she was sure Eri wasn't going to be in any real mood to cook for the next few days when she had to add handling a newborn baby to her usual duties.

"Inoichi asked about our _sex life?_ " She echoed incredulously, chopsticks suspended halfway to her mouth as she gaped at the shadow master she had married.

Shikaku shrugged lazily, smirking a little behind his own bowl of stew and rice. "Not in so many words, more like Ino asked about the 'health' of our relationship. But I did manage to make him think I was talking about our sex life for a moment."

"I so wish I was there to see that." Natsumi marveled over this version of Shikaku compared to the vague idea of a man that story painted him as in her head. He seemed to be fundamentally different than the Jōnin Commander he would have been in another life, as she was damn sure her husband didn't do more than casually drink with the other shinobi she mostly knew and had witnessed him turn down a few more drinks from Chouza when they went out for dinner occasionally.

There didn't seem to be a reason derived from his life that made the shinobi clutch a bottle of rice liquor, and the assassin was cautiously hopeful that her assumption on being proposed to was correct. That it had been his other wife that caused the Nara clan head to down a bottle of sake whenever he had the time, and not mounting pressure from a four-way war or losing a Hokage who was also a good friend.

Of course she was also cautiously doubtful that any changes in Shikaku were contributed to her meddling, as that wasn't something she knew for sure before diving into the deep end of marriage with the man. That was depressive, and those kinds of thoughts led back to the problem she had been stewing over before her husband showed up.

As of right now, Natsumi was more concerned over her bland reaction to Midori's birth than a bit of gossip she did appreciate hearing. While she was happy for Sakumo and Eri, as it was a great moment for the Hatake clan, she really didn't have any emotional investment in the baby. Not like she had for Kakashi's birth and first baby days, which made her wonder if she was relying too hard on a story that had a limited cast to it for what relations she made in this life.

It wasn't like the next generation would be exactly as it was in her head, not with her involvement with the generation before Naruto's and her current aims. Heck, even Midori's birth meant nothing was going to be exactly as it was in that story as she hadn't been part of that cast.

Was relying on a character list she only vaguely recalled healthy, or should she actually get started on making more connections outside her usual circle like Inoichi had been nagging her to do for years?

Maybe it would just take some time, as she hadn't intended on sticking around for Kakashi's later childhood years either.

"Are you fretting over the inhuman parts of your Contract's exchange again?"

"I'm not fretting. Purring isn't supposed to be possible for humans, excuse me if I'm a little nervous that I can do it." Natsumi waved around her chopsticks again, this time to dismiss that idea. "I'm… just… not as excited as I thought I was going to be."

Shikaku simply chewed and continued to eye her, so she snorted at him and explained what did have her bothered.

"…is it because you expected the next baby to be yours, wife mine?"

Natsumi paused, the stew soaked rice balanced on her two sticks frozen halfway between her mouth and her bowl. "Huh… possibly."

What _had_ she expected?

Midori wasn't in that story, so Eri springing it on taicho had caught her by some surprise as well. Mostly because Eri probably had been killed by this point in that other version of this life, no mother meant no future baby princess of the Hatake clan. Taicho should've been dead by this point going by that time line, and Kakashi should've now probably hit rock bottom after a depressive tailspin after his father's suicide.

That was actually rather depressive to dwell on now, so her attention turned to the reasoning Shikaku suggested for her bland reaction to Midori.

What order was Naruto's generation born in, anyway? She knew the soon to be her favorite young, blond brat was supposed to have been the youngest, but that was it. Naras were generally accepted to be lazy, a year in either direction for whatever heir she and Shikaku had would be doable. Heck, the Nara she married was almost a full year older than Minato and he still had been in their academy class that normally started with eight to nine-year-olds.

Natsumi had been mostly praying that the next generation was going to take being born into their own hands and get it done somehow on their own, as she really couldn't figure out how to influence the procreation of several of those kids Naruto had relied on for his own shinobi years. Hiashi and Hinata for one, because she was relatively sure the jōnin head of the Hyūga clan was avoiding her as much as he could get away with. Something she was sure Fugaku wished he could get away with on more than a few occasions, and knew that Shibi had thought a time or twice from Tsume.

Gaara was another one, she had probably screwed that all over to hell and back to the point she wasn't even sure the Sand Siblings would exist here. Kind of hard to do when the Kazekage that cause Gaara to become a jinchūriki probably wasn't going to become Kazekage for a few more years yet, or lose the hat to Sasori.

Whoops.

Shikaku had worked out something between himself and his two team members about a year, year and a half before he proposed to her. They were going to try and have their children close enough together to start them on a team well before they would even have to worry about that kind of thing. It appealed to Shikaku because that would give his heir more time to plot for his or her own team; Inoichi because then his heir would know explicitly who she, or he, would have to work with; and Chouza just because keeping that triad together was something his clan was always interested in and this had been an interesting and new way to display that strength.

Natsumi hadn't argued against that because it really had been an awesome team, almost or approaching as good as the father's team was now when Naruto needed to rely on them.

She knew that Hizashi was almost due to marry Misaki this upcoming year, which would mean the class right before Naruto's was almost due to be born soon. Neji's parents weren't probably planning on waiting a long time to have him, like how Mikoto had Itachi almost immediately after getting married herself and unlike how long the assassin had waited so far. She knew Misaki was due to have a child sometime in the next few years or so.

Kakashi had been about a decade and a half older than his students, probably. Somewhere in that time range, because twenty to twenty-five was the age range in which jōnin got their genin teams… if they were expected to take one on. If that was the case, she still had three or four years left before her 'generation' would start on the next. For that matter, she really did desperately hope Inoichi actually found someone instead of settling with whoever because he wanted the rather exhausting dating part of his life over with already.

On the other hand… fuck, she was _old_. A year away from starting down the old-timer's hill, her next birthday would make her almost exactly fifty mentally.

Sue her if she was a little impatient to get started on the next generation. Children had been a dream she had though she wouldn't ever have, until her sometimes thoughtful husband proposed.

"Thanks, Shika."

"For?"

"Putting words to what was wrong, hubby mine. You're pretty awesome, for someone who told Eri-kaa-san I could purr."

"I'm going to hear about this for years, aren't I?"

Natsumi set her half-finished dinner to the side, moving to plop herself in his lap. "Yep."

Shikaku snorted and kept eating, so she made herself comfortable and watched the last of the daylight sink under the leafy horizon that was their village.

Sakumo intentionally made the wood under his feet creak in order not to startle them, and he gave both Naras on his porch a tired grin sometime after the sunlight finally disappeared from the sky. "Thanks for the help, neko-chan. But you should probably be getting home soon."

She grinned back at the silver haired shinobi, resting her chin on Shikaku's shoulder. It wasn't much of Sakumo expressing concern for her personal safety, more like sound advice to beat the traffic control points before they started up and it would take a good hour to get home even if they took the roofs. After nightfall both ANBU and the Uchiha MPs started looking harder at the pedestrians wandering the village's streets, and even having solid excuses for why they were out and about wouldn't keep them from looking hard for any possible infiltrators.

"Mkay. There's bento boxes in the fridge, taicho, and you should probably go make sure Kashi-chan actually ate. He's in the dojo again."

"He's rather determined to get that jian of yours before Minato-kun gets his other two genin students."

"Yeah… that's not going to happen. Minato's getting the rest of his team a bit early."

The head of the Hatake clan snickered as he reached down and patted her on the head on his way past them, probably looking to kick his heir out of the clan's dojo before turning in for the night.

In training habits, Gai and Kakashi were pretty well matched. They both liked to refine every skill they could until even the perfection obsessed ninja ranks around them started feeling a little inadequate next to them. It really made some of their forfeits for losing whatever silly challenge they put themselves, but mainly Gai, to even more ridiculous.

"So," Natsumi poked the half-healed cut on Shikaku's neck, frowning slightly as he tensed up at her touch, "bit close there?"

"Got a little sloppy. Chūnin doesn't mean inept, after all."

"An inch more in any direction, Shika, and you might not have been coming home."

"Well… inch to the left and he would've missed me entirely, Natsu."

She made a wordless sound of frustration, rolling up to her feet so they could put the dishes away and leave the Hatake clan compound. "Please don't give me a complex, hubby mine. If I start panicking every time you're overdue to return from missions I'm not going to be nice about it."

Shikaku deftly slipped the bowl she had only half finished out of her hand and kissed her hard on the lips. "I'll be more careful, I swear."

The assassin gave her husband's back a dry look. "More careful to get healed up before I see it or more careful out of the village?"

"Both."

Natsumi huffed, but since she did it too there wasn't much room for her to complain. Half the reason Shikaku got her bare and counted her scars after she got home was her habit of getting everything healed over by an ANBU medic before leaving headquarters.

\V/

Minato scratched the back of his head as the three young ninja stared at him.

He knew, sort of from a few tea shop visits with Natsumi to see Hizashi and Kizashi about their own students, that sometimes genin could get up to some very exasperating or simply baffling incidents occasionally when not supervised. There had been his sempai's stories about Gai-kun's enthusiasm not actually helping her team out of a situation or Koichi-kun getting them into one, Hizashi's deadpan recounting of Genma-kun's occasional slip ups around clients that had to be hastily patched up by his other two students, and Kizashi's gripping over his own students starting the path down puberty and all the joys that brought to the jōnin trying to lead combat capable genin teams.

Seriously though, he had only left them alone for fifteen minutes.

Kakashi was, or at least had been, an exceptional student compared to the others he could get stories about. Yes, the heir of the Hatake clan could occasionally be a little rude and somewhat unsociable. But he was a genius, never needed any lesson to be repeated, and generally made himself useful when not actually training or griping about whatever the two of them were doing.

After Natsumi finally slapped him with the last two students he was supposed to lead for the completed Team Seven, Kakashi stopped talking like he was a somewhat human if still brilliant. Instead, what the longest serving genin on the team would open his mouth for was either scathing insults or dry lectures.

If Minato was a betting man, he would lay a chunk of ryo on the silver haired brat _hating_ his new teammates.

Nohara Rin hadn't seemed to be a problem at first. She was the team's kunoichi, all around medic, and had appeared to be a sensible genin on paper. Except… she seemed to have developed a bit of fascinated hero-worship for the established member of Team Seven. She wasn't obvious about it, but she was easily distracted when the silver haired heir to the Hatake clan passed her.

Kakashi had started to avoid standing next to her. Minato could sympathize, the staring was a little distracting even for him and he wasn't who Rin-chan was staring at.

Uchiha Obito was… a klutz. He was late almost regularly, with some of the most convoluted excuses for it he had ever heard. He also wore goggles, apparently for his easily irritated eyes. Not just any goggles, but _orange_ tinted ones.

Minato seriously wondered if that genin was color blind, no matter what his medical record said. That much orange in his vision couldn't be healthy.

Obito was also uncoordinated enough still to mess up fairly often, which was normal enough for any genin fresh out of the academy and would slowly stop after a couple more months of regular taijutsu practice.

Kakashi just… hated it.

He really should've been chūnin if they were going to go by skill level alone, but his age and lack of physical growth made Natsumi and now Minato reluctant to push him ahead into more dangerous missions even if he probably could compensate for it.

Sticking an overly skilled genin with a less skilled but older genin and the friction was inevitable. Obito occasionally screwed up, not any more than normal for genin, but Kakashi would take the opportunity to mock the kid in lieu of actually helping more often than not, so the two of them got along as well as two wet cats.

…so much for Natsumi's promise of handing him the easy genin out of the next graduating class.

On second thought, they could've been worse. Obito-kun could've been a stereotypical member of his clan, and Rin-chan could've been a shameless fan-girl.

Minato risked another look to the irate shop keeper, who was splattered orange from head to foot, and back to his team.

Kakashi blinked lazily back, Rin had a look of horrified curiosity about her and couldn't look away from the poor man, and Obito was trying not to cringe as he grinned weakly back at their jōnin-sensei.

He carefully made his tone light, adding a bit of curiosity to it as he addressed the newer of his male students. "Where did you even get that much orange paint?"

"There's a shop out on-" the Uchiha hastily clapped a hand over his mouth, remembering a moment too late that he had been professing his innocence of the prank to their team leader.

"Mmhmm." The fūinjutsu master looked the irate civilian in the eye. "Was it just you or is your store also slightly discolored, sir?"

Since mouthing off to a jōnin was so beyond stupid even drunks didn't do it, the middle-aged man simmered angrily only a moment before answering Minato as evenly as he could. "There is a whole puddle of paint on my floors, jōnin-san."

"I see." Turning back to Team Seven, he looked all three of his students in the eye. "Well then, I suppose my team has just volunteered themselves to clean your floors."

A vein in Rin's forehead throbbed, and she turned on the aghast Obito with sheer irritation in every line of her form. Kakashi even straightened up from his habitual slouch he adopted for when not fighting, half-copied from Natsumi's usual leisurely lope when not in a hurry and his own father's seemingly effortless gliding stride. Minato frowned down at all of them, getting Obito to suddenly inspect his ninja sandals and Rin to lower the hand that almost was in reach to slap the Uchiha.

Kakashi glowered back, shooting the cringing genin a heated look before scoffing and boring a hole in a nearby fence with eye power alone.

"Before the paint dries, genin. Or it'll be harder to get rid of."

Having been his student for almost a full year now, the silver haired genin was the first to move. Kakashi didn't even make it to the door before even more orange paint burst from the overhanging eaves, and only his kenjutsu refined reflexes saved him from a paint shower.

Minato blinked. Obito would really make a good trap specialist, if he could even now catch his prodigy teammate by surprise.

"Damn it."

A quick glance told the blond that the Uchiha had been trying to get Kakashi with that, and he kept the frown up as he pondered what the hell he was going to do with this team to cement it together.

Kakashi hated failing, Obito was a bit too uncoordinated still not to fail now and again, and Rin was a little unfocused in her day to day tasks.

This wasn't going to be pleasant few weeks.

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi would fully admit to hording what spices she came across.

Apple pie never tasted the same without cinnamon, and there wasn't much of that around anymore. She had even, after a whole lot of headaches and more than a little gold spent on the project even before she got married, found some rare vanilla beans that were only now gaining popularity as a cooking ingredient. She could find ginger everywhere, wasabi, curry, and nearly every type of fruit wasn't at all that hard to find… but some of the old ones she knew of were no longer even used.

She hadn't seen a blackberry in ages, and raspberries were really only a distant memory who's probably hybrid replacement didn't seem right to her. Cherries were always around as were plums, strawberries, and peaches, even a few variations of oranges, figs, lemons, and limes. But very few of the bush berries she used to just munch on between meals were available in the markets other than strawberries.

The one thing she did bitterly miss about her last life was the food. Both in how it was stored and sold to how much easier it was to cook. There might be electricity in Konohagakure, a very restricted version of what she had once known that was mainly just used for lighting, but most of the older homes still had wood stoves instead of electric ones. To make matters worse, her old life's fridge didn't need weekly feedings of ice to remain cool.

Hot plates, which had been used for a few years in laboratory settings instead of Bunsen burners, were only just becoming popular to use in the kitchen for quickly heating up leftovers or water for tea. She held the hope that electric fridges were only just a few more months away, but she had held that hope for years now. She knew she would eventually get that back, as she was mostly sure Naruto had an electric fridge in his crappy little apartment. It wasn't here yet though, and she was rather irritated at this ice requiring fridge of hers. There were some around, she knew that because popsicles needed icy temperatures so they didn't melt which had to mean the bigger shipping companies had to have some version of one, but they weren't commercially available yet.

Open air markets weren't all that great either without air conditioning, so the one thing she would trade nearly anything for was a half decent grocery store. Instead, if you needed both meat and some vegetables for one meal you had to cross about ten or so streets to find what you needed. The meat market and butcher shops were closer to the Naka River, and the better farmer's market was closer to the village's gates. Since it was all stored in either iceboxes or wooden ones, not all the food sold was guaranteed not to be slightly spoiled by the time you ate it.

Shikaku had only recently replaced their kitchen's thankfully electric stove for her, a belated birthday gift from him and his team, and now Natsumi had to figure out how this clunky version of her old life's stove worked. It was very temperamental, and proving to be slightly tricky to set for certain temperatures.

She was probably going to burn this pie too. Minato would pout at her, he liked apple pies.

"I thought it would be easier."

"Why the hell did you think that?" Natsumi asked archly, dumping her apple slices in a bowl and turning to him with a grin. "We were a bit unusual, Minato. We knew each other pretty well before being stuck on a team, and then Jiraiya-sensei lucked the hell out of that situation by replacing what's her name with me. Then our genin team was two good friends and a probably overly trained pseudo-genin being guided by a sannin. Of course there wasn't much damage caused by our Team Seven, we were already comrades by then. We didn't need excessive team building to click."

He sourly eyed her expression, giving her half-finished pie a hopeful look before sighing. "I don't suppose you have a suggestion then?"

"Beyond some time? They really don't know each other, there's nothing to start establishing a rapport like you did for all of us back in the academy."

She did a bit of sighing herself when he gave her a flat stare, slinking down on top of the kitchen table as she rubbed her aching neck and actually put some thought into her kouhai's genin problem. This wasn't the Team Seven of her mind's story, so there had to be something that was different beyond Kakashi not being such a colossal, depressive prick.

The brat she had help raised was a perfectionist, it appealed to his logical mind and you had to be when sparring with live blades. A millimeter off and you would do some serious damage to your sparring partner, ensuring you only used live weapons against those you _knew_ were good kenjutsu users.

Rin had to be somewhere approaching perfect in a way too, iryou-nin jutsu demanded it just to work right. Part of the reason Natsumi would never be able to heal with chakra was her horrific control compared to most jōnin.

Obito… probably wasn't a great third for that team then. The slightly foolish, slightly childish, and somewhat negligent genin out of the supposedly perfect Uchiha clan had to fit somehow, according to that story.

"You've notice Obito-kun's pranks, right?"

"Little hard to miss, sempai."

"Right." She had heard about the orange prank, and even admired the gall it had to take to try pranking a known prodigy even if it hadn't worked in the end. "So… Kashi-chan's not that good at thinking out of the box, yes? I know he gets a bit frustrated with creatively thinking something over, it's part of the reason you're sure he'll never become an even casual fūinjutsu master like the hime is pretending to be. Find something that needs Obito-kun's plans and Kashi-chan's skill."

Her favorite blond mused on that for a moment. "And Rin-chan?"

"Will follow Kashi-chan like a lost puppy."

"I'm not trying to encourage that."

"I don't think there's much you can do that won't, Minato."

He grumbled a bit, settling himself down on the kitchen chair instead of against the wall.

"Why is Obito-kun always late, anyways?"

"As far as I can find, his excuses usually are true. Someone asks him to do something and he gets a bit caught up in some of them. Of course, then he goes and exaggerates a bit when telling me the reason he's late."

Natsumi gave him an incredulous look. "You mean he's rescued the same cat over fifty times?"

"His third cousin on his mother's side has a kitten that likes to climb trees, but can't seem to figure out how to get down. Of course, that kitten is now an adult cat, but the point remains it's usually the same animal every few days." Minato told her with complete honesty. "And then his clan has noted he's got some good chakra senses, so of course they go to him to find lost pets and delinquent children."

"Oh dear _kami_."

"Obito-kun's used to helping out, he's been doing that for years and hasn't quite figured out how to tell someone that he has to be somewhere instead of assisting."

Natsumi busied herself in checking how hot the oven was, but the sensation of someone staring a hole in her back told her she hadn't fooled him. Probably because she was letting herself snicker audibly. "Wow, okay. That… uh… hmm. Suppose all I can say for that is be careful on your first C-rank, then."

"Why just the first one?"

"Do you recall our first C-rank mission, Minato?" She grinned at him when he flushed a bit, hefting her pie to slide into the oven. "And what sensei said his first C-rank mission was like?"

"That doesn't necessarily mean my team's first one is going to go a bit…"

"Strange?" The assassin finished for him as she shut the oven door and rejoined him, sitting on the table instead of one of the chairs. "I bet you fifty ryo it will."

Minato eyed her with exasperation. "Your team didn't have an unusual first C-rank. It's possible my team will have a completely normal one, sempai."

"Your team is Team Seven." Natsumi refuted easily. "Admit it, Team Seven is cursed or something."

"No. There are no such things as curses."

"I had a cursed seal."

"That's different." Her fellow fūinjutsu master huffed amusedly, leaning back in the chair. "That had an actual source, not something based in pure superstition."

She hummed, a grin on her face. "Sure Minato, whatever you say. I'll bet the hime then, that you'll be whistling a different tune soon."

He snorted at her and slouched down to stare pointedly at her oven.

Natsumi snickered, kicking a heel against the table leg. "Hey Minato, want some pie?"

"Sure." He replied just as blandly as she spoke, grinning at her again as if he hadn't been waiting for her to offer since he spotted her buying apples. "When will it be done?"

\V/

Koichi shot to his feet, fairly vibrating with irritation. "But that's not fair, sensei!"

Natsumi sighed and carded her fingers through Ling-Ling's fur as the scout processed what she had just told them.

Part of the reason her Contracted Summons had been so understanding in light of her injuries after facing Orochimaru was that she showed some to them in the first place. Ling-Ling _hated_ being Summoned, so much so that the then kitten had begged not to be a Summons for the assassin. However, the Contracted they had with her stated as long as Natsumi trained them, she was due an additional Summons for every two cubs she trained for the Leopard Clan.

The kunoichi had Summoned Jin, who was her usual method of speaking with Tamika-sama instead of trying to Summon the regal, big as a two story house feline; and worked out a compromise Ling-Ling wouldn't hate as much. Instead of being a Summons, Ling-Ling was from then on her Seal Key Keeper. In return for taking the kitten's wishes in account and at least trying to find her something better, the Leopard Clan had let Kenta go from his usual responsibilities within the clan so she could rely on him more in place of his fellow Summons.

The other half of the reason was that any Summoning Clan with an actual human Summoner held a bit of prestige in the Summons' realm. Having a Summoner was a lot of work for them, to the point every clan under the Noble really would only allow one or two Summoners at any given time and usually only for one or two specific Summons only.

They had their own world, and their own relations with other Summons, and so those ninken had their own jobs and duties to fulfill like anywhere else.

Kenta had been a guard, a Leopard that patrolled their territory against any other Summons that wanted either their land or to eat them. Ling-Ling was in fact a caretaker for cubs not yet grown enough to do much of anything, who greatly preferred caring for the young to fighting. Tsuyoshi was one slotted for battle duty for both her and his clan, he probably would get to be a very large cat by the time he finally finished growing. Akira was truly her father's daughter, she would join him in scouting and guarding their territory as well as probably give Kenta the slack to go back to working for their clan again.

There were times Natsumi had to Summon Ling-Ling, when she needed one of her seal keys for whatever reason or that one time Kenta sorely needed some backup and Tsuyoshi wasn't old enough. She normally tried to at least warn the feline through Kenta whenever she could, and when her normally fussy seal keeper had heard her fellow Summons was going to help her teach her own students more about the Summons' realms and those within it she had asked for the task.

Ling-Ling really liked to teach, and had actually somewhat liked her students the only other time the four of them had met. Scratching Gai out of surprise aside, apparently.

She had also taken a whole lot of relish in telling her genin that the feline clans and the serpent ones had not gotten along at all even before the assassin got them as a Summons Contract, it was more like a bitter blood feud between the two races over the borders they shared. Natsumi had wanted to cringe, because that incident hadn't been something she told her genin about. Her taijutsu obsessed genin hadn't realized there was recent history behind that bit of news, but Ibiki and Koichi had shared confused looks when Ling-Ling had gotten to what clans her clan didn't have good relations with and which ones were actually part of Konohagakure's Summon-able allies.

It really was only a matter of time until they put that together with her injuries, hospital stay, and the subsequent execution of one Snake Summoner before she got them; but hopefully only once they were chūnin.

Speaking of chūnin rank, Ibiki had a hand clamped down on Koichi's shoulder so he wouldn't do anything stupid as the he struggled with his anger.

Gai was frowning at his teammates, looking a bit lost. Ibiki hadn't seem to think anything of it, other than the outburst their last teammate had given over the news she just gave them.

The eldest of the Sarutobi brothers turned on their jōnin-sensei when he was sure he wouldn't shout. "We only just got you back. Why are you pulling away again?"

"I have to go back to ANBU soon. It's almost been two years, Koichi-kun. I can't put it off anymore if I want to stay in and help you later on."

Her tai using genin didn't even flinch, he had known that was likely when she told them they would soon be doing mission work without her. Ibiki scowled a bit at them all, realizing the source of the scout's ire and that he was the last to catch on.

Koichi gave a rather impressive growl that even caught Ling-Ling's wandering attention.

"It was never going to go back to how it was, gaki. I'm no longer nursing some major injuries and you three aren't green academy graduates anymore. You all don't need me as much, and there are other things that do need me to handle them. And besides, you would eventually get to chūnin rank on your own. I'm just hurrying that along somewhat."

He stopped getting angry, and instead started to mope darkly as he sat back down.

Hormones and puberty, joy. She wouldn't have pegged Koichi as a moody brooder, she had honestly thought Ibiki would go through that method of growing, but the scout could give the infiltrator a good run for his money when he felt like it.

Natsumi sighed again, ruffling her Leopard's ruff one last time and getting up to her feet. "The best I can do for you now is ensure the team won't break up unless you three want it to, and come back a few times for a mission here or there. But now you know where you're going, you know what you need to do and no longer need my full attention to help you get there, so I'm going back to jōnin and ANBU work at least part of the time while you rack up the missions needed for a field promotion to chūnin. But with two Summoners and a fūinjutsu user, I'm not expecting you'll have a lot of trouble with getting it."

Ling-Ling discreetly padded off to unsummon herself, leaving the human team to figure this out themselves.

"The last few things I'll be teaching you all is how to use Shunshin to the point you can do it instinctively and assisting with the acquisition of Summoning Contracts. We'll do the C-ranked time-space jutsu later this week and actually signing Contracts right now so you'll have a block of unspoken for time to adjust to them. Then… I'll be more of an occasional team leader depending on the mission. But the war effort will be the main deciding factor in which missions I will probably get, not my genin or chūnin Intelligence team. Until the war is over, it isn't likely I'll have the time to lead the team again like I could in the beginning."

Koichi didn't look at all placated by that, and she understood why.

Her own genin year had been short and sweet too. She only had six months on an actual genin team compared to their two years of it, but those were days she had rather desperately wished to go back to when picking up her ANBU work again.

Genin rank just always seemed better the more time you put in being a shinobi. Of course, no one would actual admit to it after a year or so past their promotion but everyone she knew had made some kind of noise about not realizing how good they had it as genin. They might not be chūnin yet, but it was likely by the time the war was over they would be.

"Right, so with that out of the way." Natsumi turned to Gai, who brightened considerably as he figured out what that day's lesson would end with.

She thought it was unfair that shinobi could work up the charka stores for Summoning so much easier than any kunoichi sans Kushina could. They were ready for non-combat Summons now, when it had took her until sixteen to work up both the chakra reserves and the guts to get in contact with one. The minor fact that Jiraiya had been the one to get ahold of her Contract for her was ignored.

"You said you wanted your own Contract, Gai-kun?"

"Hai, sensei!" The teen went on to claim he would gain another Summons clan to ally with the village, most of the other words and claims he spouted off ignored for the sake of their collective sanity.

Their jōnin-sensei placed a firm hand on top of his head to hold him still. He may be up to mid-chest on her, but they were still shorter no matter how fearful they acted to tease her. "Be respectful, no matter how rude they seem in the beginning. Sometimes it's just a method to see if you are worth their time to create a Contract with. Or at least that's what Jiraiya-sensei said, but then again his Toads are a little brutish when you first meet one."

She backed up a bit, mainly to ensure Gai had a good view of her hands but also to get out of the way. The idea of a reverse Summoning still gave her the creeps, but that was the path her tai obsessed genin wanted to go.

"The hand-seals are Boar, Dog, Bird, Monkey, and Ram. Run through it a few times before attempting it."

With the taijutsu user occupied, Natsumi turned to Ibiki.

He just shrugged in response to her questioning look. "I'm too busy for a Contract, sensei. I'll look into it later if I really want one."

"I can see that." She really could. The infiltrator was working steadily on his scripting methods for fūinjutsu, which was really a whole lot of experimentation in what worked for him and what didn't. It was not really that difficult, just a whole lot of repetitive work. Trying to add the conditions of a Summoning Contract on top would probably stress the broody little brat out. "Go work on your calligraphy then, we're not going to be doing too much more today."

Ibiki stared at her shrewdly for a moment, flicking a glance to their remaining team member then turning sharply on his heel to stalk off and work on his seal designs. "I wonder if I can link an explosive seal to the kanji in my name."

Natsumi vaguely wondered when he would switch to interrogation, Inoichi could certainly use the help from what she knew of the inner workings of T&I. He was a perceptive little brat to be sure, but that idea he wanted to be working on was a little alarming.

"I… think I am going to ask Otou-sama for his Contract, sensei."

"That's fine." She ignored his small start of surprise to instead call out to Gai. "Go for it, but remember to be polite!"

Gai struck what she supposed was supposed to be a heroic pose or something, before rapidly repeating the hand seals she gave him to use. This time he did it with almost all the chakra he could stand to use formed up in his hands as well as a small cut for the blood offering.

"Sensei?"

"Did you know Jiraiya-sensei asked if I wanted the Toads when I was about your age?"

The assassin couldn't quite hid her wince as the tai user slammed his hands into the ground and disappeared in a cloud of burnt chakra as his best matched Summons clan seized hold of his offering and pulled him into their realm. Hopefully Jin and Kenta would be able to keep an eye on her student's jaunt into the Summons' Realm, and keep him from wandering into something dangerous. She might not have been able to warn them which Contract the teenager would probably end up with, but having them on the lookout for him made her feel better about all of it anyways.

"Sensei even asked if I wanted his teammate's Contracts for them."

Koichi looked pretty dumbfounded, but mainly confused. "What?"

As far as everyone else knew, Minato had always been Jiraiya's handpicked successor as the Toad Summoner. Which was true, she was pretty sure the man hadn't been serious when speaking about it to her. He had probably been sounding her out to take on his blonde teammate's position for Minato, but she would never be able to get the hang of healing and the Slugs really would be better off with Sakura.

"It's more a vouch of confidence, and I'd imagine a secondary option to any other means of getting a Contract, when someone offers to let you sign on to their Summoning Contract." Natsumi ruffled Koichi's short hair, smirking at his still shocked but now slightly irritable expression. "I didn't offer to make you choose between your Otou-sama and myself, I just wanted to let you know that if you wanted you could sign my Contract instead of looking elsewhere. I honestly plan on letting my first child sign my Contract, if it makes you feel any better."

The scout now looked rather disgruntled, almost what she would call pouting if he would just jut out his lower lip a little more.

"But, since you decided you wanted your Otou-sama's Noble Monkey Contract and not my minor Feline one, I want you to know you'll be agreeing to whatever Hiruzen-sama agreed to pay in return for Summoning their members. You can't negotiate for better terms when signing on to an established Contract."

"He told me, sensei." Koichi told her seriously, still sitting a bit stiffly next to her as they waited for Gai to return. "And that I might share a few Summons with him, though he hasn't been in many fights where he needed to call on the Monkeys lately."

"I would hope not." That would mean someone in ANBU wasn't doing their job right. "But yes, that would be what you needed to know. Did he go over how to incorporate Summons into a fighting style with you yet?"

"Yes."

"Then be warned, kiddo. You've got less than a year before I pull you into ANBU for training, and it took me a year and a half to learn to fight with Kenta and not around him. You've got it easier, the Monkeys already know the Sarutobi fighting style already so it shouldn't take you nearly as long as it did for me or will for Gai-kun." Natsumi paused as something occurred to her, as her third genin wasn't exactly what anyone would call a moderate shinobi. "On average, anyways. But, knowing him and his habits, it'll probably take him less time than it did me."

Koichi snorted, finally relaxing back into the tree truck that was propping them both upright. "So I'll have what, a year of being chūnin?"

"Officially, probably. It's not likely ANBU will let you go higher than tokubetsu jōnin while you're with them. But you three are being considered for chūnin promotion right now, and you'll probably get it sometime in the next few months." She considered everything else that might have an impact on the genin next to her, frowning as something else occurred to her. "I'll probably be retiring a year or so after you join."

His head whipped around to her. "What?"

Natsumi raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm the wife of the Nara clan head. Typically, the heir to a clan is conceived by the wife of the clan head. Shikaku didn't have a problem with me remaining ANBU while we are married, as long as I would retire once I'm pregnant."

Blinking, Koichi kept staring at her in horror.

"And they really should call it something else, since everyone else that I've known that has retired haven't exactly left the damn place yet." Ryoko and Sakumo for instance, neither of which seemed all that inclined to leave the running of ANBU headquarters up to the younger generation. Kami knew they were both still in the thick of things as far as training went. "So while you'll see me around, I won't be getting mission assignments anymore."

Technically, anyways. She wouldn't be allowed to officially retire until Koichi attained captain rank, so that would mean she would be getting even more desk duty in HQ while she waited on him to get there. Then again, there hadn't been another assassin as long-lived as her. Maybe they would let her off easy?

…probably not, knowing Bear and his love of shoving mission planning on her. It wasn't even likely that she would escape that once she really retired.

The scout next to her relaxed a bit more again, but this time turned fully to face her with a scowl. "Anything else you feel like mentioning, sensei?"

"My squad is in tatters at the moment. Once you start training I'll find a fourth squad mate, but right now there's only me and the squad's medic Mouse. The fourth will probably be either heavy combat or a bodyguard when I find someone."

"Are you expecting a lot of missions to battlefields or something?"

Natsumi looked down at him, trying not to smirk. "Koichi-kun, saboteurs are so rare that I could probably demand one of the highly sought after ANBU ninjutsu specialists and get him for the squad. You'll be worth your weight in gold if you live longer than a year."

Instead of looking please or proud of himself for her comment on his worth, Koichi paled a little. "So… it's going to be dangerous?"

"Extremely, but you should know that already. Once the other villages start wondering if we have a saboteur, they'll go to great lengths to figure out if it's true and who it is. Your connection to the Sarutobi clan will help there, they won't immediately connect the risky title of saboteur to the heir of your clan." She threaded her fingers through his short hair, mostly so he wouldn't panic on her. "After you start field missions, you'll need to be careful about who you socialize with. I don't think you'll have an issue there, but still."

He snorted, glancing over to where Ibiki had set himself up on a convenient rock and then to the scorch mark that Gai had left behind before starting his trip. "I think I'll stick with what works, sensei."

Natsumi carefully ensured her face was blank. "Mmm, sure. You say that now."

She got a confused look.

"Then you'll get your first girlfriend and that'll be thrown out the nearest window… or do you prefer boys? Is that why you don't think it'll be a problem?"

Instead of cringing like she half-expected, Koichi flushed bright red and stiffly sat up straight far enough to knock her hand away. "Sensei!"

The assassin blinked. "What, really?"

He hesitated, strictly not looking at her. "… I don't know?"

"Fair enough." It could just be hormones confusing the living daylights out of him, but it was just as likely the teenager didn't find females attractive or found both girls and boys attractive and was more confused than any normal teenage male. "Give it some time and revisit it later. If you want, I can go talk to Jiraiya-sensei. While I don't really want to know that much about his love life, I'm sure he knows more than a bit about that kind of lifestyle if you want someone to talk to and don't feel comfortable talking to your old man."

Koichi didn't speak for a while, but when he did his voice was quiet enough she had to strain to hear him. "What about the heir thing?"

Natsumi pressed her lips together. Unlike most of her last life, sexual orientation was a bit of a big deal here. Being gay gave a person some social stigma, even within the shinobi ranks when nearly every vice wasn't even blinked at. It was a bit worse in clans, since continuation of the clan was a big thing to a lot of the members. She really didn't care, so long as Koichi didn't try sleeping with his teammates without warning them of his orientation. That could be more than just a little awkward the next morning.

"That's why you have an otouto, kid." After a beat, she decided the whole topic needed lighting. He did look fairly miserable about it. "And, I know as a matter of fact there's this brothel somewhere south of us that has some really manly looking women on staff. You could always pay them a visit and ask any children conceived be sent on to you."

Now he looked rather horrified. "How do you even _know_ that?"

"Jiraiya-sensei loves women… _all_ kinds of women. My genin team visited that village, really more of a slums on the edge of a town, when he had to go collect some intelligence there." It hadn't been a bad visit, but according to the two boys she had been on a team with it had been an embarrassing one. "The girls really liked Minato, thought he was just the cutest thing they ever saw."

Natsumi had been just old enough in body to be mostly ignored, but she had the suspicion it had been Jiraiya and her hitai-ate that deterred the matron of the establishment from trying to tempt her into changing careers. She wasn't pretty in the traditional sense, but that brothel didn't carter to nobles or picky customers.

Inoichi had just about cowered behind his fellow blond the whole time, uncomfortable in the face of cooing older women.

Her musings on past missions was interrupted by Gai's return, looking a little punch-drunk but whole through the cloud of burnt chakra that preceded his return. She almost leapt to her feet, but Koichi beat her to it and guided the tai user to his old spot next to their jōnin-sensei.

"Gai-kun?"

He beamed in her general direction, and Natsumi got a little suspicious that she let him go ahead with this a bit too soon. With the genin deciding not to cultivate an element in his chakra he was slightly limited on the amount of ninjutsu he knew, and although she had a good chakra sense in people she knew she wasn't very good an judging how much chakra they inherently had.

Which meant she had very nearly screwed this all up.

"Tortoise!"

Koichi flatly frowned at that near shouted exclamation, giving the assassin a confused look. "Is he okay?"

She relaxed a bit, mostly sure that was his Summons in that other life as well. "Tortoises are part of the reptile species of Summons, Koichi-kun. I don't think they deal with the Snakes, but they might have relations with the Toads."

Gai nodded rapidly, getting his bearings back and holding himself straight even without the scout's steadying hand. "They knew of you, sensei. They wish for me to convey their greetings to you and your sensei."

Natsumi smirked at that. Gai had probably lucked out a little then, if the leader of the Tortoises knew he had been taught by the Leopard clan's Summoner. They would have given him the benefit of doubt right off the bat since she, Minato, and Jiraiya were all known to each other's Summons clans and rather well liked. "Did you reach a compromise then?"

The genin nodded again, seriously this time. "They wish for me to assist them in caring for their home. Every year I will be called to work, on a day of my choosing in a month of theirs."

Well… that was a little odd… but no weirder than the Dogs demanding a day of freedom just to run around in a realm different than their usual one.

She let that slid without comment. "Be sure to keep your end of the bargain, Gai-kun. Ideally, you want to build up enough good-will between you and the Tortoises so that if you need to you can get them to change the month if you're committed to something and can't break off. I'll register that you succeeded with Intelligence and what your forfeit is, you should…"

Natsumi trailed off, thinking about what Gai had waiting for him at home. He was way too exhausted to continue with any training, and she didn't want to tempt him into trying to figure out how to use his new Summons until he recovered enough chakra not to risk exhaustion. Without someone at home to distract or watch him, there wasn't anyone that would keep his attention off his shiny new ability.

"…go find Kakashi-kun. Get some pointers on how to learn to fight with your Summons."

Ibiki, who had snuck up while the scout and assassin were distracted by the taijutsu user, spoke up while Gai turned that advice over in his head. "Are we done for the day, sensei?"

Natsumi glanced between them all. Koichi would likely be signing his father's Contract later than night, Gai was too exhausted to continue with anything, and Ibiki still had a lot of seal scripting to work on.

"More than likely. Do any of you have anything else for me?"

\V/

"I'm sorry Mikoto, I can't take him. I've got a mission, and if I couldn't put it off for my own gakis it isn't very likely Bear-sama will let me postpone for you."

The matron of the Uchiha clan sighed heavily, cupping her teacup delicately. "I suppose Itachi-kun will have to come with us then."

"To a battlefield triage point?" Natsumi asked archly, sitting cross-legged on her porch as the two of them watched the almost four-year-old Uchiha heir investigate the beginnings of the Nara forest. "That doesn't sound like a great idea."

"Kushina can't take him for the same reason, Natsumi. She's already gone on her own mission out near the Land of Hot Water." The Uchiha kunoichi told the assassin seriously. "My Okaa-sama is too ill, and Fugaku's parents are already gone. We can't ask Minato, as he's got his hands full right now, which rules Hizashi even if our clans wouldn't protest loudly for the very act of asking."

"And the reason you're both going in the first place is that Fugaku's last reaming relative is going to die from injuries incurred during his mission." Natsumi sighed heavily, freeing her left hand to rub at her persistently aching scars on her neck. "What about Kagami-sama? Shisui-kun's father? I liked him. And the rest of your clan? I know a few families with younger children are in your clan, can't they watch him for a week or so?"

Clan Elders as a childcare option weren't great, because they were all ninja and getting their leader's child to spout off their agenda would be par for the course with any shinobi. As far as the Nara knew, Kagami was about as straight-laced as any ninja could be in their world and wouldn't try to influence Itachi without major influences pressing on him.

"For political reasons, no. It would lean too far to playing favorites to ask any of the shinobi families without a direct familiar link to them, more than most are actually struggling slightly to keep up with their mission loads and their own families right now. Additionally, most of the civilian ones I am on good terms with wouldn't know what to keep watch for in kidnapping attempts or in raising a ninja child. As for Kagami-sama, he's… not doing too well. The medics said it was complications from old injuries, and he is getting on in years. Asking him to watch Itachi-kun for a week when he has Shisui-kun to watch might stress him too much."

The assassin winced at that news. She really didn't want to think on what kind of damage she had already done to herself and how painful it might be if she got to that age, and for a shinobi that fought in the First War without many of the medical advancements available now the Uchiha clan elder had to be feeling the weight of age and his scars rather keenly.

Even Shikai, her father-in-law, was starting to feel the press of old age the last time she saw the man. He wasn't quite as fluid in movement anymore as most shinobi retires with all their limbs, and had even begun to favor his left side a little.

"What about Tsume? I know the Inuzuka clan really isn't an obvious choice for emergency childcare, but Hana-chan is almost due for her ninken and you can tempt the gaki in helping her out with newborn puppies."

The genjutsu mistress perked up a bit, blinking at the kunoichi she was having tea with. "I hadn't thought of that… I'll ask."

"Natsu-oba-san?" Both kunoichi looked over to the Uchiha heir, who placed his tiny hands on the wooden deck they were sitting on in order to lean forward to them. Pinked cheeked, slightly dirt streaked from his terrain investigations, and frowning slightly, it was about the most adorable sight the assassin had seen all week. "I am getting hungry. Do you have anything sweet?"

Mikoto huffed quietly, causing Natsumi to snicker lightly. Bribery or not, she was still a favored person to visit for the little Uchiha even if it was just for her sweets.

"Why yes, Itachi-chan. I've got something made with apples if you would like to try it."

"Yes please." Itachi, like the little gentleman he was, very fastidiously brushed all the dirt he could reach off his miniaturized Uchiha clan uniform before standing patiently by the kitchen's door.

The ANBU captain rocked to her feet, setting her empty cup on the tea tray. "Go ask a few more people, Mikoto. I'll feed your little gaki and work a little on his calligraphy for a bit."

"Sure you will. More like stuff him full of sweets and spend the rest of the day riling him up with wild stories of ancient heroes." The other kunoichi did place down her half-full cup, giving her a slightly thankful smile as she smoothed down her kimono. "If it takes more than an hour to settle him down for the night, I'll come back and put you under a genjutsu that will make you think you're a pretty, pretty kitty."

Natsumi discreetly slid away from the serenely smiling Uchiha, wondering if she wanted to risk that threat or not.

Apparently the assassin wasn't discreet enough, as Mikoto's smile turned wickedly sharp before she swept off after a kiss pressed to Itachi's forehead.

Watching warily to ensure the genjutsu mistress was on her way out and wouldn't hear, the ANBU captain turned back to the latest genius of Konohagakure. "Your kaa-chan is a little scary sometimes, Itachi-chan."

"I know." Instead of acting like the Nara had insulted him or his beloved mother, the usually shy child just preened slightly. "Thank you for the compliment, Natsu-oba-san."

She gave him a crooked grin. "Well… I suppose some milk with your apple pie is in order. I don't want to risk spending the night curled up in a ball on the kitchen table."

Natsumi got a small smile in return as she opened the kitchen door for him.

\V/

"Why do you think I know?"

"Because if anyone in the village would, it would be you Minato." Kushina told her boyfriend a little pointedly, twirling a few ramen noodles on her chopsticks. "You two were practically thick as thieves back in the academy."

He gave her a sideways look, which was equal parts confused and suspicious. "Why do you want to know?"

"I'm curious. All that talk about a possible kekkai genkai made me wonder if one of her parents could do something similar. And you have to admit you've wondered something similar too."

"Well… I know sempai's eye coloring was passed on to her by her okaa-san. Everyone in the orphanage wanted to know that at one point or another, as it was a bit jarring to come face to face with." Minato answered dryly, toying with the bowl of chicken ramen sitting in front of him. "But honestly, the only thing I ever heard out of her about her otou-san was a few sour wonderings if her chakra discoloration was due to him."

The redhead turned on the barstool to pin the blond with a pointed look. "So you know Natsumi's kaa-chan's name then?"

"Mesuji Mana." He replied with a measure of confusion. "But while sempai probably does know her otou-san's name, she's never told me."

"I wonder if Shikaku knows?"

"There might be a reason sempai never spread it around if she knows, Kushina. Or maybe she doesn't want to know."

"Anything more for you two, Kushina-chan? Minato-san?"

The jinchūriki gave the young chef that ran her favorite restaurant a grin as she turned back to her dinner. "Another bowl of miso ramen if you could, Teuchi-kun."

Minato rolled his eyes at her, pushing away his second and unfinished bowl of noodle soup. "No more for me, thanks."

Teuchi took away the bowl in front of the jōnin shinobi, and the tokubetsu jōnin kunoichi that was his girlfriend pouted at him. "Wasteful, you should've finished that Minato."

Well acquainted with her quirks when it came to ramen in all it's supposed glory, he merely huffed. He liked the noodle dish fine, just not quite as dearly as Kushina loved the salty soup. Certainly not to the point he would eat only ramen every day if allowed.

"You think there might be a reason she never dug into it, or told anyone if she did?"

"I'm just saying be careful." Minato denied quickly, turning to her fully. "Sempai might get irritated if you dig behind her back if she didn't want it known for whatever reason."

"I don't think Natsumi would ever get mad at anyone of us. She never has before, and we've done a few stupid things right in front of her."

"Always a first time for everything, hime."

Kushina smirked impishly at him. "So, do you want to know or not?"

He rolled his eyes at her a final time, settling in to wait out whatever number of bowls she was planning on eating her way through before they stated poking at something he didn't already know. "Sure. We might as well start with Shikaku. If anyone would know right now, it would be sempai's husband."

\V/

One month riding herd on a team made up of newly minted ANBU agents should be less tiring than it had been. Panther had almost been ready to kill several of them, more notably the brand new assassin the division picked up in the last year and one of the kunoichi slotted for seduction who decided sleeping with every agent on the mission would be good for her career.

The mission was the last hurdle most ANBU agents went through to get their tattoos, and Natsumi had gone through hers in the last year of the Second Great Shinobi War with a few of her other classmates and a handful of other 'officially' chūnin ninja. Her final ANBU training mission had been a tour of battlefronts and varying terrains just like this one, but there had been less trainees there overall.

Which made her wonder what kind of intake the shinobi corps had right now compared to back then. She was pretty sure the criteria for joining ANBU hadn't changed in recent years, as that was something she was sure she would get notice of since she was a captain and assisted with training now and again with her old ANBU captain. As far as she knew, gaining that swirly tattoo they liked to hide still was limited to either agents noted for their skills in stealth and put on recruitment watch by someone they knew or by attempting the criteria in the academy and getting picked up later on.

That wondering led her to puzzle over if ANBU's training methods needed overhauling to compensate for more trainees than normal.

Then again, Wolf was the unofficial overseer of training in ANBU. Sakumo knew perfectly well how a training facility could change when they started handling more than they had instructors for. He had an example in his own son's academy career, after all.

Her pondering occupied most of the time she spent in transit between one of the varied ANBU HQ entrances and the Nara clan compound, so she pulled her head out of the clouds and nodded a greeting to the two on gate guard tonight and gave an ANBU greeting to the shadow guard lingering around the gates.

Shikaku was on the porch playing a game of shogi against himself, even if it was starting to get chilly at nights now that they were edging firmly into the winter months, so Natsumi slumped next to him rather than go indoors. "Who's winning, you or you?"

"Real cute, wife mine." He tugged her closer and tucked her under one arm anyways, for while she was wearing several layers of cloth and leather in her version of the Nara clan uniform it was all still loose enough for the more intense summer months and not really up to keeping out the biting winds of Konoha's winter. And after six years of marriage, Shikaku knew full well she hated being cold even if she never said it aloud. "How did it go?"

"Besides an overly amorous seduction trainee, not all that bad." She ignored his twitching, because it did sound funny when she put it that way and not an annoyance she had to deal with every night of those three weeks out of the village's gates so he was forgiven for laughing. "There were a few incidents, but most all of them were minor. It was a training mission, they're not all that exciting unless you're the one being trained."

"Good to know." She got a squeeze before he moved the next piece on the game board, one of which she was mostly sure she had carved for him. "Now, where is your paperwork?"

Natsumi blinked up at him. "What?"

"The files you dumped on my desk right after we were married, Natsu. You said it was the sum amount of your family history in Konoha. I recall they were left there one night and disappeared before I got to them."

"That was more than five years ago, hubby mine." The assassin swung herself into his lap, mostly because her ass was cold and there was a warmer seat just waiting for her. "And the bottom drawer of your desk, most of your files are in that one so that's where I put mine."

"I looked there."

"Under the drawer, they're sealed into the bottom."

"Ino's right, you're paranoid." Shikaku rolled his eyes upward, so she elbowed him in the gut.

"I'd rather be paranoid and alive than not and dead, Shika."

He huffed, this time bending over her back to reach the other side of the wooden board his game was on. "True, I definitely prefer that too, wife mine. But I highly doubt you need to be paranoid about some old paperwork that's probably on file elsewhere in the village. Can I at least release them out of there?"

"Yeah, that was a few years after Minato and I puzzled out how to key different people to certain seals. Even if they never touched the seal in question. Why do you think I asked for some of your blood?"

"The security seals plastered over the house?"

Natsumi snorted at him. "I asked for that blood a little later."

"I thought you just needed some more." Shikaku shrugged, and she could feel his muscles move against her back. "That's why I leave the fūinjutsu to you, Natsu."

"Lazy, Shika."

"Nara, all of us are lazy."

She snickered at him as she watched the next move of his game. "Liar, I know the secret now. If you tempt a Nara with something they want, they're properly motivated and not at all lazy."

He just grumbled about troublesome wives.

Still laughing softly, the assassin shifted a bit more to work out a stubbornly stiff tendon in her right knee. "Why do you want them?"

"Hmm?"

"My records, or what there is of them."

"Kushina asked me who your father was while you were gone, and I realized I didn't really know where that was. Almost panicked Koichi-kun when some redheaded tokubetsu jōnin he didn't know you knew started asking questions about you."

Natsumi craned her head around to frown at him. "What did my team do?"

"Don't ask." Shikaku rubbed a hand along his jawline, leaning back and giving up on the mostly finished shogi game. "But officially, Team Seven and Nine have now met. Unofficially, Ibiki-kun and Kakashi-kun still don't like each other; Gai-kun has a new kind of friend in Obito-kun; and Koichi-kun probably won't be able to look you in the eye the next time you see him."

"Well… that's better than I expected. I was mostly afraid Obito-kun and Ibiki-kun might bond over their mutual dislike of Kashi-chan and egg poor Gai-kun along." Something else about what he said occurred to her, and she turned as much as she could instead of keeping her head turned as far as she could make it go. "The hime wasn't content with just you answering her question?"

"I didn't have proof, but Tsunade-sama dug into your file for her so she dropped the question."

"How in hell-"

"Apparently, the head of the Senju clan lost some kind of bet."

Natsumi blinked at him out of sheer surprise.

That was still part of Tsunade's typical habits? She had known the Slug Princess like to gamble, but not that favors were something the woman used as currency. With Nawaki doing rather well under Hizashi and no reason to get close to Dan, the assassin hadn't been expecting any of the woman's bad habits to reoccur in this life. But it seemed the blonde Sannin wanted a bit more risk to her games than usual. She was just happy that it was for something so minor instead of for her ANBU record or something similar.

"Well shit."

"Hiruzen-sama wasn't all that happy to hear that either."

She snorted, turning back so she was facing the path outside their home again. "Anything else that went on while I was gone?"

Shikaku considered that for a moment, and nodded enough so she could feel it. "According to a few of my contacts in the tactical division, the battle lines out in Earth should be about a quarter through the country. Theoretically, Iwagakure should be only a few more miles north of the eastern front."

…fuck. They were almost to Iwa's front door?

Then again, against two Hidden Villages who could actually coordinate with each other Rock had to be feeling like they had been fed through a meat grinder without Kumo's assistance. While Cloud was officially aligned with Iwa, Kumo had stopped trying to get large groups of ninja past the blockade a mile in from the Frost border and seemed to be waiting for whatever results came of Suna and Konoha's dealings with hostile foreign villages.

For the million ryo question, would Minato get his moniker back or not? Sakumo had regained his, from the jōnin missions he undertook for nobles on occasion. She wasn't sure if Shikaku and his team had one to begin with or not, but the trio did have a rather fearsome reputation in Kumo now.

"…and Itachi-chan gained his sharingan."

Natsumi snapped her head up, almost hitting Shikaku in the jaw with the back of her head. " _What?_ "

"Mikoto had to take him along with her and Fugaku, she couldn't find anyone that could take the brat in for a week or so on short notice." He warily kept an eye on her, rather firmly holding her down in his lap until she adjusted to that bit of news. "Somehow, while they were out in some triage point seeing Fugaku's last close blood relative before he died, Itachi-chan got himself turned around and lost them. He wandered into the remains of some Iwa strike team that hadn't been cleaned up yet trying to find his parents."

The assassin actually felt her mind go blank as she stared at her husband.

"Natsu?"

"Holy fuck."

"Yeah, that's one way of putting it."

"What about Tsume?" She tried rather desperately, horrified for the young Uchiha heir. "I thought she had been in the village before I left?"

"She had to go back to the fronts in Lightning half-way through the week Mikoto needed."

Damn ninjas and their paranoid distrust for everything not related to them, and sometimes not even then. Thinking that made Natsumi feel three kind of a hypocrite, since she seriously wasn't the poster girl for trusting in her fellow shinobi either.

"Fuck… poor Itachi-chan." Not only that, but she was mostly sure she had known about this incident. Sort of. At least, she was almost sure about it. It sounded familiar to her. "Mother _fucker_."

"What?"

"Just… wow that sucks for him." Natsumi told him distractedly as she shoved her hand through her hair, uncaring that she snapped the tie that had held it back.

How much of that story had she forgotten if she dropped the ball on this so badly? She had a sinking feeling this wasn't the first time she forgot something important and didn't act on some incident that would prove to be bad later on. Now a four-year-old would bear the price of her screwing up.

All because she had a freaking ANBU mission she might have had the leeway to skip if she had only just asked Bear.

She felt just as much of a failure as Naomi made her feel on a regular basis.

"Yeah well, if you listen to Fugaku it just proves how brilliant his son is." Shikaku purposely made his tone neutral, but that just let the assassin know the shinobi had a problem with that.

"Why?" Natsumi wrenched her mind from her latest dismal failure and tried to focus on the conversation again. "I thought an Uchiha had to be afraid for their lives to the point they believe they will die before they could wake their sharingan?"

He pressed his lips together, suddenly getting to his feet and setting the ANBU captain on hers. "Come on, it's getting too cold out here to stay out for long."

She blinked at his back, bemused. Shikaku didn't avoid things, he preferred to deal with something when it reared its head and not let it become a problem. Whatever this was, it had to be something the genius thought would make a situation worse by trying something for it.

It wasn't until Natsumi was halfway up the staircase that she realized what her husband's problem was.

Fugaku was probably proud of his son awakening their clan's dōjutsu, and while that was kind of impressive for a four-year-old the situation needed for that awakening wasn't something very many outside of the Uchiha clan would think normal. Actually it wasn't normal in a way, child services in Fiona's time would have thrown a fit over boasting about unneeded emotional trauma to the poor Uchiha heir. Which was probably Shikaku's problem, he was thinking more about Itachi's poor head than what would be normal for the Uchiha clan.

She was used to it, half the reason the academy started at the age it did was _because_ of the Uchiha clan.

Everyone entered it just before puberty, so when the genin started on missions outside the village they would be about at the age most Uchiha normally woke up their dōjutsu. Then there were the overachievers of that clan, the academy Uchiha kids that routinely tried to kill each other so they would have their red swirly eyes before they would see any combat likely missions. No amount of lectures or warnings had made a dent in stupid attempts Uchiha clan trainees pulled, and it wasn't likely anything else the assassin could arrange would make that unspoken tradition stop.

Ryoko hadn't been amused to learn that habit of the noble clan, Uchiha academy students made up about half of all the work she saw in a day.

Natsumi finally started moving again, this time to hunt down where her husband got to. "Unless Mikoto shares some kind of concern, there's no way I can see to warn Fugaku that he's coming off like an insensitive asshole about it."

Shikaku tugged the rest of his shirt off, having been halfway undressed by the time the assassin got moving again. "Mikoto's quiet, she's always like that. I'll leave figuring out what she thinks about it to you, since you'll probably be better at it than me."

She hesitated, biting her lip uncertainly. That sounded like a great recipe to screw over her friendship with the matron of the Uchiha clan, but had to give her husband the point. Fugaku and Shikaku didn't have a very close relationship, and after losing the file on her that had probably just gotten colder on both ends. Mikoto was probably the only Uchiha that would seek her out for some companionship, and she was pretty clear on how Fugaku saw her. Mainly as an annoyance he sometimes liked to study, but was unfortunately a friend of his wife's and a convenient emergency babysitter for his first-born. "Alright."

It wasn't until much later that she started wondering if Fugaku pushed Itachi so hard in that other story because he thought no one outside his clan was impressed with the kid. If the problem was that the Uchiha clan head had alienated his usual support because he hadn't understood how someone outside his clan would see his son's achievement and how he was proud of something any other parent would have been horrified by, then how the hell could Natsumi change that?

\V/

A sharingan was quite literally a pair of red eyes with black tomoe in them.

Natsumi vaguely wondered if the black was more pupil openings, since the eyes were supposed to allow a user to track movement better than any normal human could and see chakra. There didn't seem to be a reason for the red other than to look scary. Though the 'free-floating irises' effect was just plain creepy, and made her only basic understand of the human body quail trying to work out.

Considering she was staring down Itachi's sharingan, she had the best view of an Uchiha's dōjutsu disregarding any of Orochimaru's attempts at dissection.

It was the only other option for her other than listen to Kushina try to pick a topic that wouldn't upset either her or Mikoto or sip more tea than she ever had in one sitting. Which was kind of both funny and sad, since the two other kunoichi had been friends for years and she didn't really care about the topic of her father.

Itachi, for all his brainpower, was still a four-year-old child.

Natsumi wasn't too proud to say she smirked when the kid blinked first.

"Might want to work on that, kiddo." She swept the little prodigy up into her lap, ruffling his somewhat longish hair. "How's your head?"

"It doesn't hurt, Natsu-oba-san."

"Little liar, you're squinting." The assassin tipped him back to see his face clearly, smoothing a thumb down the side of his face and feeling for the tension she could see on him. "Is it more tension without a lot of pain?"

Itachi considered that, and then her, seriously for a long moment with his normal eyes. "Yes."

Natsumi nodded at him, looking up to the surprised Mikoto sitting stiffly in Kushina's living room. Since there seemed to be a rather large, pink elephant in the room, she decided to dive in with both feet. "Are there any medical concerns we need to be aware of? I know he's a bit younger than normal."

The matron of the Uchiha clan's posture relaxed minutely, but her lips were still pressed together before she spoke. "Only that he doesn't drain himself of chakra without knowing, it's easy to do with the sharingan active."

"You look strange." Itachi added without prompting, unusually enough for the more reserved child she currently spent time with. He probably considered himself safe enough with both his mother and godmother there as well.

Natsumi wasn't a regular fixture in his life, so she probably didn't count.

"Like there's something else there."

"She does look different through a sharingan, doesn't she?" Mikoto gave a small smile to her son, ignoring the assassin's huff since it was mostly fake. "Natsumi is special, like Kakashi-kun and his otou-sama or how an Aburame clan member looks when we really look at them. It just means she can do something slightly different than any normal kunoichi."

"Like Kushina-oba-chan?"

Natsumi rolled her eyes even as the redhead next to her winced, and the two of them exchanged a droll look as Mikoto calmly explained Kushina was even more special than that… or at least the two other kunoichi did until the jinchūriki in the room recalled she was avoiding the assassin's eyes for her own reasons.

Reaching over in response of being ignored, the reincarnated soldier flicked the other woman in the temple.

"Ow! What was that for?"

Instead of answering Kushina's question, Natsumi looked over to the bemused Uchiha kunoichi. "So, Mikoto. Did you know I was thrown out of a clan before I was even born?"

"No, I didn't know that." Mikoto spoke slowly, and the assassin wasn't sure if she was more shocked or confused. "Which one?"

"The Kurama clan."

Kushina cringed again, stubbornly staring a hole in her floorboards. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know so I got curious. You're trying to find me more of my clan, but you never said who your otou-san was and that made me wonder if you had another clan, a long lost child of the Senju preferably. Or maybe you were the daughter of some noble. Or even-"

"Hime?"

"Even maybe a child of a roaming samurai!"

"I'm pretty sure those are called Ronin."

The redhead blinked at the genjutsu mistress, who shrugged.

"Itachi-kun should have the proper terms for when he writes up mission reports later in life."

"Whatever they're called, they have nothing to do with me." Natsumi interjected a little uncomfortably. "I'm a bastard child of a delinquent, minor member of the Kurama clan, so that clan decided they weren't going to deal with me and proclaimed I wasn't a member after he got himself killed. My kaa-chan apparently figured that was all well and good, so she agreed and tried to raise me herself. I don't even think the current clan head even knows I'm related to him, to be honest."

Even Mikoto didn't look like she knew what to say after that, until Itachi asked what the word 'bastard' meant.

Kushina sat back down, having gotten to her feet in her prior speculation of Natsumi's linage, giving the assassin a searching look. "Don't you care?"

"Not really. I'm a Nara now."

Tokubetsu jōnin or not, there was nothing wrong with the jinchūriki's mind and she frowned slightly. "Isn't that kind of dismissive? They were supposed to be your clan. You have to be at least somewhat bitter over that, it's like being told a puppy isn't worth the time to raise."

"Are you seriously comparing me to a puppy? Do you remember what I was like when I was ten-ish?" Natsumi asked archly, idly watching the Uchihas across from them. "I don't think I would have been a great clan member."

Having set her son right in regards to the word that shouldn't be repeated until he was older, Mikoto looked up at the assassin suspiciously. "Does that mean your supposed kinjutsu is really the Kurama clan's kekkai genkai?"

"I don't think so. Jiraiya-sensei took a look at it with his senjutsu and the Toads and said it was something else before I ever had an inkling of who my tou-san was. Tsunade-sama only gave that theory more weight with her full medical check on the whole team after the Second War, so it is really unlikely if… I suppose, slightly possible."

Although there were times after learning about her father that made Natsumi wonder. The key difference seemed to be while she affected only the mind and made other things seem real with chakra, the Kurama clan could make things real with what seemed to be only their mind and chakra. How… she would really rather not know.

Beyond Summons and their apparently separate realms, creating something out of nothing when there was nothing there seemed too much like playing god to her. If her niggling thought of mass delusion inducing mirages were true than she really did have a very minor version of that kekkai genkai.

It was one thing to make something think what wasn't real was real. It was something totally different to Natsumi to make everyone else believe it too without much effort put into maintaining the illusion.

While she would like to believe she was mostly sane, the other option meant she was as delusional as Madara would hopefully be in the end.

If all that was wrong, she would prefer not dealing with that clan at all.

Childish of her? Quite possibly.

There wasn't much of a reason to go poking at something that had already decided she wasn't worth the time, and connecting some face-less shinobi to her idea of 'father' wasn't really worth the effort if he was so troublesome that his own clan decided to cast his only child out.

"Right, now that awkwardness is out of the way," Kushina turned to Mikoto, "about Itachi-chan…"

The genjutsu mistress gave her best friend a flat look. "Awakening the sharingan is an important milestone in my clan."

"Yes, we know that."

Natsumi held up a finger to make the conversation pause there. "Leave me out of it. I understand most of the clan's stance on this, and while I understand and don't like it I probably don't have the right to try arguing the matter."

The redhead worked her jaw a silent moment, but finally nodded with a huff. "Fine."

"Wait, what?" Mikoto frowned as she looked between the two of them. "What do you mean, Natsumi?"

She grimaced and shook her head. "If the hime pisses you off, at least promise me you'll talk to me before storming off. I don't really want to get into it, I like having the both of you as friends and that's a bit too intrusive for me. Besides, it's a best friend's right to tell you when you've acted like a prick… or more to the matter at hand, when your husband is being a argumentative… err, dick about something."

"Right." Kushina blinked as Natsumi's last words registered to her, smirking a little. "And that's not intrusive?"

"We've been calling Fugaku a… rear-end for years. Mikoto's used to it." The assassin frowned faintly at the impressionable four-year-old still in the room. "Hey, Itachi-chan. Want to go with me and find something besides ramen to eat?"

She got another of the young heir's way too serious, measuring looks, but the kid did nod after glancing at his mother for permission.

At the very least, removing the impressionable child from the room would let Kushina be much more direct.

Natsumi didn't know how this would work out, and she didn't put much stock in a story that she had not only screwed to hell already but had forgotten more than a few points of to date. In the end, it would have to be the jinchūriki's diplomatic skills against whatever stubborn pride the Uchiha clan instilled in it's members.

She didn't particularly like it, it wasn't a great solution and to be honest it probably wasn't much of a solution to begin with, but she needed to stay in the Uchiha clan's good graces to help them… and because they were helping her out right now.

If that meant Kushina would spend a few of her supposed final years at odds with her best friend, then that was what was going to happen. Hopefully they could patch up that relationship later on.

\V/

Tenzou peered around at the place she had brought him to. "This is the academy? I was expecting something… bigger."

The ANBU captain he insisted on taking him to his first day of school smirked as she ruffled his thankfully leaf-less hair. "It's part of the Hokage's Tower complex, gaki. There's a few classrooms beneath our feet, and a whole yard out back a ways for taijutsu and weapons practice. It's not all apparent when looking straight at the building. That would've been just bad tactical planning."

The older of the two results of Orochimaru's experimentation kept his face blank as the two of them watched the crowd gathered to hear the Hokage's speech for the new academy class.

Natsumi didn't know what the young Mokuton user was thinking as he watched the families before them, but was sure it was along the lines of what every orphan thought when some version of a family day came around.

"If Ito's not up to venturing out this far when I can't make it, there's always Shia-chan and Naomi-chan. I don't think the two of them would mind coming out here to pick you up after classes."

Tenzou scowled slightly, which was telling after the amount of self-control practice they made him go through to keep most of his obvious control over plant-life hidden from his future classmates. The grass becoming greener when he was around thing was a lost cause until he got a bit older. "I'll be okay, neko-taicho. You don't have to worry about me."

Well, she was going to do that anyways. Of all of her regrets, Tenzou and his sister/fellow experiment were her biggest. She regretted their early life even more than dropping the ball on Itachi and his sharingan. They hadn't seemed like a big thing before running into the traitorous Snake Sannin, but they were a sucker punch all the same. She didn't want to get rid of Danzō just to turn into a female version of the man, and that little nightmare had cost her two full nights of sleep and a bad week trying to explain her fears to Shikaku without tipping the man off to what was really bothering her.

The assassin knelt down so she was eye level with the eight-year-old. "Tenzou-kun, I'm going to worry anyways. I'm a girl, you know."

He gifted her with a wry look that she just had to grin in the face of. Between Shia and her medical worries, Naomi and her own medical worries, and Natsumi and her own security worries; Ito and Tenzou usually just let the three of them fuss about.

"Okay, seriously. Remember that you probably won't be able to afford having friends here. And I'm really sorry about that, kiddo, but it's likely we'll have to pull you into ANBU as soon as you graduate to keep you safe."

It went against everything that she viewed the academy as, since Minato found her here and she had a good store of memories from her time here. With the security risks behind it they really couldn't afford to let him get too close to ninja that might get captured later on and tortured for information on their fellow shinobi. It was just safer all around to keep him and Naomi hidden from plain sight, no matter how hard she fought to allow them a friend or two.

Natsumi wasn't entirely sure keeping him or his sister from making friends was possible with the new model of the academy, but Bear had been rather adamant on the point.

"I know. I'll be good, I promise."

"You're always good, Tenzou-kun. I'm starting to worry about you. You should be a little more rebellious or something, all this behaving can't be good for you."

He at least cracked a small smile, so Natsumi scanned the new class quickly before squeezing the young boy's shoulder and leaping off into the trees.

She knew Anko and Iruka were part of this class, and wondered if she could get the two of them to attach themselves to her little charge without pissing off the ANBU General. It wasn't very likely, so the next question was could she do it anyways and scrape by with only more paperwork dumped on her?

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi scowled at the scroll in Shikaku's hands as she let herself into the study. "Already? Didn't we just get back from a deployment a few months ago?"

"They're switching it up again." He responded absently, pouring over the orders that were meant for him. "Four months off, six to ten deployed for jōnin now."

She winced. That would make their whole division due to be cycled out again, and she knew several were still expecting another two months of village guard duty. "Ouch. How badly are the chūnin ranks getting run?"

"Three months on, a month off. They are the next biggest pool of manpower we have after genin."

She was trying to get her brats up to snuff for a chūnin field promotion? Natsumi sighed, sneaking a peek over his shoulder to see where he would be going for the next half of a year.

"Lightning, huh? I suppose they want you three to scare the Kumo-nin?"

Shikaku tried hard, but he eventually smirked a little as she snuck her arms around his waist from behind. "Possibly. I don't think we can do that again, though."

"They didn't have a scroll for me?"

"Not when I checked, but there might be one for you now."

She smirked a little into his back, squeezing lightly before letting him go. "It's probably more likely I'm going to be deployed as ANBU again."

He rolled up the scroll while giving her a considering look. "Inoichi's found a girlfriend."

Natsumi blinked at him, waiting for what else he wanted to say.

"A kunoichi supposedly from the R&D division."

She rolled her eyes. "Tell me when he stops bringing his work home with him. If he keeps doing that, he's going to end up hating going home."

"She's a bit different than that, Natsu."

"Not someone he's in lust with?" Natsumi turned back to him, frowning faintly. "Are you sure?"

"It's not a Chouza and Momo thing, to be sure." The shadow master allowed slowly, thinking hard. "But I think he might actually be happy with this one."

The assassin sank down into her usual couch, thinking a bit herself. If Shikaku was sure, she would go along with that. "So… six months to be certain nothing raises its ugly head, then I'll go talk to the medics?"

He blinked.

"It's going to take me and this girl some time to get into shape for child bearing, Shika." Natsumi smirked a bit depreciatingly. "Kunoichi aren't the most prolific breeders for a reason."

Between their mission accrued injuries, obsessive training schedules, and the slight possibility of birth control complications, sometimes all a kunoichi could do was one child every ten years. It wasn't just tactical planning in ensuring a child could save his or herself or run if needed, or a kunoichi only willing to get pregnant once in her life.

There were the exceptions, the Hyūga twins and Mikoto's two boys, but those were exceptions to the norm. Even Tsume's two brats, Hana and Kiba, were unusual in they were less than five years apart. Even if one had been the direct result of the alpha of the Inuzuka clan's birth control failing to prevent the pregnancy.

Natsumi was in awe of the fact her goddaughter was born only slightly underweight, since the pregnancy hadn't been planned on or expected and the mother had still been on the anti-pregnancy pills Tsunade dreamed up. Then again, Tsume had dropped firmly out of kunoichi life while she had been pregnant and there hadn't been a lot that kunoichi did other than eat and obsess over her health while remaining at home.

"I was thinking more like a year from now for the medics, and then another year to make sure you're healthy enough, Natsu." Shikaku told her seriously. "I don't want you finding out when deployed that you're pregnant and aren't built up enough for it. Hopefully we can make a dent in the fighting by then."

She blew out a mostly silent breath. She liked that option better than a sudden death to her ANBU career, and that would hopefully match up with her optimistic timeline in getting Koichi good enough to survive being a saboteur without her. It would cramp how much time she had in the field when Minato received the hat.

Then again, once ANBU always ANBU. It wasn't like there was a great example in the ranks so far that had left that life fully behind them without dying for it.

She didn't really want to go around his back like that, even if it was all on technicalities and they were ninja. But she wasn't going to trust Minato's safety to just anyone.

"Right then." Now that she thought of it a little more, that would fall about a year after Hizashi's upcoming marriage. But it also meant that in the next two or three years Hiruzen would decide to retire and start searching for a successor now that Orochimaru was firmly out of the running. "Two or so years it is."

\V/

Natsumi had long wondered how Hanzō had gotten in contact with Danzō.

It wasn't like Amegakure and Konohagakure were on speaking terms with what happened between Hanzo and the Sannin team. There also wasn't a handy contact point for ROOT, as the blacker option of the Leaf's black ops divisions wasn't advertised at all beyond hearsay and rumor.

The assassin was mostly sure that to any outsider looking in on the village, Shimura Danzō and Sarutobi Hiruzen didn't seem like estranged childhood friends turned one-sided bitter rivals.

What she forgot to take into account was the method ROOT had in mission acquisition.

Anything ANBU turned down was put in a pile to be burned. Officially.

Unofficially, _Ne_ sifted through the remains and picked out the best of it before they were incinerated.

Which meant the suicidal missions and the ones they were sure would do Konohagakure no good were what Danzō's shadow guard picked up. Panther was pretty sure any repeat business gained from that didn't go through the official channels, which was always something that greatly concerned her. They also got the tokubetsu and full jōnin mission requests that were declined by Intelligence or the jōnin themselves, but that was pretty visible and therefore not something she worried over.

For instance, if ANBU turned down a request from a foreign Hidden Village, ROOT would more than likely look over it. If that Hidden Village swore to assist in the Konoha-Suna alliance against Iwa in return for some assistance with a small problem within it's borders, she could see why the one-eyed old man would be interested enough to see what else Hanzō would be willing to do.

It had to be some type of desperate for a foreign village to request help with a rebel group, especially for _Ame_ to ask the _Leaf_ for it.

Smaller Hidden Villages really hated dealing with the larger nations. Not because if the Shinobi Nation decided to squash them there wouldn't be much they could realistically do about it, but because it was more likely that their few jōnin level shinobi might start wondering what it would be like in a bigger village.

That wasn't something that happened often, but occasionally a few nuke-nin did end up in different countries if they could give a good enough reason for abandoning their old village.

For right now, Panther had to decide what to do with the mission request in her hand.

She wasn't sure at what point _Ne_ got ahold of ANBU mission requests, if Danzō had a copy of this yet or not. Given what was written in it, she couldn't even take it to Jiraiya since none of his aliases she knew of were on it.

There was also no way in hell Natsumi could go check it out and possibly warn her fellow students of the Toad Sage. For one she was a week away from deploying to Earth, and two the rebel Akatsuki probably didn't know anything about Jiraiya's other students and wouldn't be very interested in finding out.

…but maybe she could get Jiraiya to look at briefly.

Panther swung around to look at Bear, who had paused in his paperwork to stare a hole in the side of her mask. "Sorry, trying to recall some of sensei's code words. Do you know of any?"

The ANBU General took the scroll from her silently.

Natsumi spent an equally silent moment hoping…

"There's one on here. Toss it in the refuse pile."

Shit.

She took the damn scroll back from him and tossed it into the basket they would light on fire later. So much for that idea.

"Should I warn him? That might be part of his spy network getting in trouble." Bear shrugged, so Panther took up the next scroll and kept her mouth shut.

She'd take that as permission… but would it do any of her fellow students of the Toad Sage any good?


	17. Change of Plans

_In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on._ _  
_

_\- Robert Frost_

* * *

Natsumi looked between her goddaughter and the three fuzzy, uncoordinated puppies that made up her new littermates.

Hana bounced excitedly, beaming up at her godmother.

"The Three Haimaru Brothers?" The older kunoichi questioned lightly as she ran a hand over the nearest triplet's fuzzy head, even if they growled at her with every chance they got. "Not bad, Hana-chan."

Tsume waited until her daughter finished hugging the Nara's knees and ran off with her puppies, giving her a fanged grin. "No comment on not giving them each a name?"

"That coming from the kaa-chan who named her companion ' _black perfection_ ' and her daughter ' _flower_ '? Three puppies who name will all be ' _gray perfection_ ' would be something your daughter would dream up." Natsumi ignored Kuromaru's grumbles on the other side of the Inuzuka alpha and just grinned back at what was arguably her best female friend in this life. "I've noticed your clan doesn't have a lot of imagination when it comes to names."

The wild kunoichi snorted, kicking out the bandaged leg that got her sent home early. "Shut it you."

"You asked."

"And now I regret it." Tsume checked Kuromaru's bandages, ensuring the eye he was probably going to lose wasn't looking like it was infected. "I know you've been busy, Natsumi. Thanks for coming to see her anyways."

"Well, you said Hana-chan wanted me to meet them. Wasn't like I could say no to her." She did some checking of her own, more for seeing if the bandages on the Inuzuka alpha's leg was leaking blood again or not. "And you really need to be more careful. I can't return the favor of making you godmother if you get yourself killed before I have a gaki, Tsume."

Her fellow jōnin went still, even smoothing out her usual fanged grin to a passible expression of horror for anyone that didn't know her well. "Oh no. You mean I have to be a godmother to one of your clan's lazy gakis?"

Natsumi stuck her nose in the air with a sniff. "Think of it this way, it'll be stupidly easier than being godmother to an Uchiha."

Tsume just snorted, raking a clawed hand through Kuromaru's ruff. "Kushina and Mikoto are still fighting then?"

The ANBU captain groaned in lieu of answering, dropping her head into her hands and rubbing her mismatched eyes.

Predictably, the Matron of the Uchiha clan had not taken any perceived criticism of how she was raising the clan's heir well. Natsumi at least made it mostly unscathed by claiming it was Fugaku's arrogance over an incident that really shouldn't have been boasted about that was bothering her and her clan, because that was mainly true. Right now the two other kunoichi she spent the most of her free time with were in the middle of a silent feud, and when they weren't being quiet they were being slyly nasty to each other.

Female ninjas in the middle of a catfight were not the most gracious of creatures.

Poor Itachi was more bewildered at the hostility than anything, from what the assassin had seen the last time she caught the three in the same place.

She was mostly sure the young genius would catch on soon enough, most of the insults were cleverly hidden behind deceiving word usage and tone of voice but he wasn't slow on the pickup. Kakashi might be a genius in logical thinking and not very creative, but Itachi was rather imaginative when he wanted to be and had a habit of picking things up fast.

"Let's just say it's a bit tenser between them than the first time I met your clan's elders."

Snickering, Tsume tried to plaster on an innocent face. "That's not really our fault, Natsumi. I don't know if anyone's told you, but you smell like a cat to us. And smelling cat just makes us want to chase whatever it is."

The Leopard Summoner just flipped her off as she got up. "Screw you, and that nose you're so proud of."

"Be careful out there. I hear the fighting in Earth is getting nastier the closer we get to Iwagakure."

"That should've gone without having to be said, Tsume." Natsumi gave the woman's bandages a pointed look. "Everyone and everything is always more vicious when cornered. You really should've known that, and we now owe Shibi a damn near priceless birthday gift for pulling your ass out of Lightning before you got your throat cut."

Tsume had gotten caught up in a sudden rush by Kumo to get out of the bottleneck Konohagakure set up on the edge of their borders, and had spent a few days as a prisoner of war before getting rescued by her usual tracking partner and sent back home by the medics. Arguably, the sudden rush had been in response to how close the Sand-Leaf forces were getting to the gates of the Village Hidden in the Rocks or a last effort of protest for the hammering Cloud's usual partner in crime was getting.

Right now, Natsumi planned on finishing the pine crib she was making for the Aburame clan head sometime soon in thanks for keeping Tsume's head attached for their joint godchild.

The other kunoichi snorted again, giving her injured leg a sour look as well. Less because she was irritated that she was injured and more because of what it cost her ninken to help her survive being a prisoner of war for a short while. "Don't remind me."

"I'm going to, dogs won't learn they've done badly unless you rub their nose into their messes." Natsumi ducked the kunai the Inuzuka alpha had kept near at hand, grinning as she carefully backed up down the path and away from her riled friend. "Maybe I should find something to swat your nose with when you screw up. Or even a few chewy treats for when you actually manage to do a trick."

There was a snort that didn't come from either women, and both kunoichi turned to look at the intelligent dog lounging on the porch. Kuromaru just shrugged at them as he moved his injured head slightly to see them both better. "What? It _was_ funny."

"Traitor." Ignoring the dog's one-eyed eye roll, Tsume turned back to the assassin she had asked over. "I don't want to tell Hana-chan her godmother got her ass killed, Natsumi."

"I'll be careful."

The Inuzuka alpha glared.

"Well, more careful than you anyways."

"Get out of here, bitch."

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi slipped off the wooden fence and landed in a crouch next to her old teacher, exactly where Minato had told her he would be. "Jiraiya-sensei?"

"You know, you really don't have to keep calling me that." Jiraiya wasn't peering through the 'convenient' hole in the fence at the moment, he was a bit too busy writing down some information in one of his short hand codes as he listened in on the wives' gossip of a few major merchants Konoha dealt with. "I didn't really teach you anything you didn't already have a good grasp on."

"No, but you helped me out a lot back then." She let herself fall backwards, using some chakra control on her feet to keep from knocking into the wood and ruining the sannin's spying work. "At the very least I can give you some respect for helping Inoichi bail out my screwed up head."

The white haired shinobi hummed absently, his stick of charcoal working hurriedly over the sketch pad he had open in broad strokes so the steadily eroding writing utensil would leave readable kanji behind.

She really hated to interrupt him, not only because it had been years since the last time she watched him work as the master spy of Konohagakure but because the more things she ticked off her list of things to do the closer she got to deploying to Earth without her husband. That was going to suck majorly, she hadn't spent that much time without Shikaku somewhere nearby since the last time she got injured.

Jiraiya would probably want the information about his other students as fast as she could get it to him, and she had already wasted a few days waiting for him to get back to the village from wherever he had gotten to lately. Telling him now would stop the annoying voice in her head trying to figure out if waiting a few weeks or so would hopefully coincide with whatever arranged help Danzō could give Hanzō. She didn't have the information for trying that anyways, so all she could realistically do was tell him as soon as she could and hope for the best.

"So… we ran across one of your code words on an assassination mission request."

He head snapped up, pinning her in place with an unusually serious look. "Which one?"

"I don't know, I had to get Bear-sama to confirm that it really was one of your aliases and not just my mind playing tricks. He had the mission request tossed into the refuse pile before I could memorize which one was on there."

"Where?"

"Amegakure no Sato."

Freezing for a brief moment, the Toad Sage turned to face her fully with a deep frown on his usually cheerful face. "Do you recall who it was for and who requested it?"

"Hanzō requested some assistance with a rebel group calling itself the Akatsuki, the leaders of who included a kunoichi with dark blue hair, a shinobi with orange hair, and another shinobi with Uzumaki red hair and something weird supposedly going on with his eyes. All three were unnamed, but collectively referred to as the Ame Orphans." Natsumi frowned a bit herself, trying to recall if there had been any other useful information besides a lot of flowery promises for assistance in return for the help. "Given what he promised to pay and how much information usually given for assassinations that he didn't put into the request, I would have refused anyways because it smelled way too fishy for me. I'm not sure if this is part of your spy network or not but Bear-sama did give me permission to talk to you about it."

Jiraiya considered her for a long, silent moment. "And why did this stick in your head?"

"I'm trying to find the hime more clan members, to take some of the attention off her before she and Minato decide to have kids."

He was too damn good of a shinobi to even give her a hint of what he was thinking about now, and she had to admit getting stared at by a blank-faced sannin was an unnerving experience.

"Jiraiya-sensei?"

"I'll check on it, neko-chan. But for now, forget you heard of anything."

"Heard what?" The assassin got back up to her feet, keeping herself somewhat crouched so the Toad Sage could go back to work if he wanted. "I'm currently searching intel takes from Iron for any mention of Uzumaki red hair."

He snorted, looking back down at what he had written so far. "Try Kusa instead. I think I remember some rumors out there about a pair of redheads."

Natsumi gave the sannin a salute as she slunk away, so as to not interrupt his spying targets from their gossip session.

She had tracked down five possible members of the Uzumaki clan to date, but all of them had been killed long before Natsumi pried their last known locations from rumors and secondhand reports.

It was really looking like she had started searching a little too late to find any of the lesser members of that clan, and would have to find the stronger and probably more embittered members if she was going to find Kushina any living clan members. She hadn't thought of looking into Grass, she was instead searching most of the common routes from the coastline where any survivors had to have gone in order to get off their island before it had been destroyed.

The bit in the Land of Iron had been the last lead she had, so her old sensei's advice was greatly appreciated for that little side project of hers.

(ooo000ooo)

Minato scowled at the note the messenger Toad Kosuke had brought him from his old sensei.

"Sensei?"

The jōnin burned it quickly with the element his girlfriend taught him, turning back to his ragtag genin team. "Just some unexpected news, Rin-chan. Have you all done it then?"

She wiped the soggy remains of the chakra testing paper off her fingers, frowning faintly. "Hai sensei, but why did we do it? Kakashi-kun's family all has lightning as an element, and Uchihas are known for their katon jutsu skills."

"Never assume. It's only a quick way to get yourself and others killed." Natsumi had told him that years ago, and Minato had found it applied to a lot of situations in their line of work. However, his student did have a point behind her question. "But you needed to know and I wanted to see if a secondary affinity was present in the boys yet."

Obito was too distracted to listen, having lit a twig with the flair of his paper and feeding it more chakra so it wouldn't go out. Kakashi rolled his eyes and let the electrified slip of paper in his hand spark on his teammate's, causing the Uchiha to drop the lit twig on himself with a yelp.

"Pay attention, dobe."

"Kakashi-kun, that was uncalled for," and would waste more of the little time he had left while Obito tried to put the small fire on his lap out. Telling them that would only spark another, and probably longer, argument.

Minato kept his face blank while his team sorted themselves out again, Rin using the opportunity to practice a bit more of her iryou-nin jutsus in a safe environment even if the goggled genin was rather embarrassed about the location of his burns.

He wasn't all that sure that leaving Kakashi in charge while he was gone was the best idea, and he was more than a little worried he wouldn't have an Uchiha genin in one piece when he got back, but the silver haired genius _was_ the longest serving genin on the team.

Helping his teammates with elemental chakra training or pitching in at the academy couldn't be that difficult.

"Students, I expect you all to have mastered at least a C-rank elemental jutsu by the time I get back." Minato gave Kakashi a hard look, but all the Hatake heir did was stare blankly back at him. "Obito-kun, not a katon jutsu. Try for either a doton or raiton based one. Kakashi-kun, fūton or katon. Rin-chan, I'm not sure what the state of the hospital is in right now but at least try for at least a D-rank suiton jutsu."

"I'll think I'll learn an earth jutsu, Minato-sensei." Obito scowled at his stand-offish teammate. "Lightning users are pricks."

"The hospital is busy, sensei," Rin jumped in hastily before Kakashi could derail the conversation by arguing yet again, "but I can do a C-rank on top of that in a few months."

"We could probably do several in three months, even with Natsu-nee's academy project to work on." Instead of verbally defending his family's natural element, the genius on Team Seven just used some of his chakra control to spark another fire on his teammate's pants. "And don't insult my family."

Minato was fully blaming Natsumi for Kakashi's vindictive streak. Kami only knew how much he learned from watching her deal with the targets of her ire.

"Obito-kun… that was kind of mean." Despite her words, Rin still helped the other genin put himself out again.

The preteen in question looked like he had realized that as well, but he probably wasn't ever going to admit it. "Well… I'm not saying sorry until he apologizes for setting me on fire."

"Genin." The jōnin team leader stared both boys down when they looked at him. "On three then."

The Hatake heir rolled his eyes again while the Uchiha scowled at the ground, but they both still echoed 'sorry' at each other exactly three seconds later.

Their jōnin team leader thought it was really bad that they had that timed down exactly, and yet again resolved to find something that would make the two of them get along at least long enough to have one lesson where Obito didn't come away with some kind of minor injury and Kakashi irritable as all get out… but that was probably going to have to wait until he returned from Iwagakure. At least by then he would be able to take the team well outside the usual range genin were limited to within Fire Country, if not nearly up to or across the less contested borders they shared with other countries.

"I expect to return to a full and healthy team, Kakashi-kun." Minato turned his head to look at his two newer students. "And please don't go out of your way to antagonize him, Obito-kun."

He got a trio of varied ' _hai sensei_ ' from his team, and the jōnin decided that was probably the best he was going to get.

For a few months on a team, it would have to be enough until he got back.

\V/

Jiraiya was underestimated by a lot of people, most of which really should know better.

As flamboyant and loud as he could be, there were times when being both or even one at a time would have gotten him killed and a lot of people forgot that.

The Toad Sage could count on both hands the number of people who understood what he was doing when he pretended to be either supremely perverted or foolish. There was his genin sensei, Hiruzen had helped him with crafting a façade that screamed perverted and idiotic to anyone who glanced in his direction. His old genin students, who were all way too smart for their own good and figured it out on their own in different ways. Sakumo knew, he knew well before anyone else what Jiraiya had been after when he decided to become the world's best spy master during their academy days.

He could have counted Orochimaru among those few once, before the traitorous Snake Summoner decided Konohagakure and his fellow sannin weren't worth his continued allegiance. Tsunade hadn't bothered with what he did off-duty, as long as he didn't do any of it at her, and she didn't seem intent on changing that.

Then again, he tended to leer at the blonde kunoichi more than he strictly should… so maybe it was less that Tsunade didn't care and more that every time she tried to understand he chased her off.

Taking that into account, he had intended to check up on his old kunoichi student's tip alone after getting permission from Hiruzen to spend a month or four on his lonesome checking up on his spy network. Jiraiya wasn't sure what Natsumi had stumbled across, especially since she couldn't tell him what code word that ANBU mission request held. He knew who, given the bare bones of the physical descriptions, and where, given who had requested it and for what, so a month would be more than enough to check Amegakure out and check in with his other three students.

Any lingering suspicions he held about the tip were most likely just a fragment of his imagination and not really a panicky kind of worry from who Natsumi reported the mission coming from. Really.

Well… he intended to go alone, but explaining that to Tsunade's face wasn't something that guaranteed his continued good health.

"We're in the middle of a war, and you want to go off and do _what?_ "

Jiraiya grimaced and rubbed his jaw, keeping a wary eye on the blonde's fists. "I have to go check up on something, hime."

"Stop calling me that already." A vein in her forehead twitched, but the gold eyed kunoichi just sighed gustily before he could comment further or derail the conversation off in another direction. "And I call bullshit. You haven't 'checked up' on anything in the last two years, why _now?_ What's wrong?"

"There might not be anything wrong."

She didn't even dignify that with a verbal response. Instead, she gave him a look to inform him he was about to lose a bit more blood than was strictly comfortable in any given day.

Sighing himself, Jiraiya risked a look around. There was no better signal to other shinobi that something clandestine was going on that one of their own looking shifty, and to his great surprise there wasn't anyone else around in the hallway they were standing in.

Then again, the two of them were on the top floor of the Hokage's Tower. No one but Sakumo's and Natsumi's fellow ANBU should be around besides the Hokage himself down the hall in his office.

The master spy frowned slightly at that thought, he would rather not be overheard at all if he had the choice.

"I'll tell you later, hime." When Tsunade scowled Jiraiya held up one hand to keep her from yelling at him. "I will, just not now and not here. I'll catch up to you later today. But I've still got to convince the old man to let me go for a bit."

She kept glaring, but finally let the white haired sannin step pass her.

\V/

Panther swore viciously in the privacy of her own mind when one of the Iwa-nin she and her squad were dealing with managed to get in her blind spot and stab her in the thigh. Backhanding him into Stag's less than welcoming grip, the assassin clamped her left hand down on the freely bleeding wound even as she ran her next target through with her katana.

She let that blade go, that target wouldn't be going anywhere fast with her ANBU issued sword lodged in his gut, and drew back far enough so the bodyguard she had been working with could step up to where she had been stationed during the brief scuffle.

A battle this was not, not even in the more generous minds of Konohagakure.

Like she had commented to the Alpha of the Inuzuka clan only a few months ago, Iwagakure was starting to get desperate in the face of slow but steady encroachment into their territory by the combined Leaf-Sand forces. Over half of the clashes Panther and her ANBU had gotten into lately weren't so much jōnin ranked shinobi trying to turn them back as maybe tokubetsu or chūnin ranked threats at most.

Panther was torn between dreading and anticipating the point when they saw genin level opponents. Dreading in that she had managed not to be the cause of death for anyone younger than thirteen her entire life here, and anticipating because that would be the last sign that Iwagakure was closer than a mountain range or two.

She had a lot of issues, and this war probably would give her a few more before the end.

Idly poking the new wound to ensure the bleeding wasn't the gushing spray of a major artery, she kept an eye on their surroundings as the rest of her wartime squad took care of the few remaining opponents they had literally only just come across a minuet ago.

The good news of the war effort since she had been out here was that Iwa wasn't mounting nearly anything as effective against Sand and Leaf as they had managed in the beginning.

The advantage of knowing the terrain was still Rock's, the mountain ranges and blind gullies that had baffled the allied forces before hadn't smoothed out enough to not play a part in the war effort even though they might be as little as a quarter and as far as a third of the way into Earth proper. After at least a year of fighting in mountainous territory under their belts, Suna and Konoha ninja were adapting rather well to their surroundings so Iwagakure didn't have the upper hand in battle so often anymore.

The bad news was that desperate people did equally desperate, and sometimes foolish, things.

Panther had heard rumors, only rumors that were as believable as any other unsubstantiated rumors she had heard yet, that Iwa had lashed out at their two jinchūriki sometime in the last half year. Some of Rock's people apparently believed that their two demon containers hadn't worked nearly as hard as they could in trying to turn back Konoha or Suna. There was even one rumor she heard that both had silently supported the invasion in their own ways, since the Leaf was known to allow their jinchūriki much more leeway and privacy, and they had been only half-heartedly going along with their orders in hopes their daily lives would improve.

She wasn't sure how much she believed that, but neither jinchūriki nor any sign of their passing had been spotted since she had been out here. While some of her coworkers and fellow shinobi took that as an indicator of that rumor being true, Panther and a few others weren't all that convinced. They could be laying low in an attempt to get behind the invasion force, or any of a number of other things a high ranking threat might chose to do with a bit of secrecy.

What she wanted to do was talk to Minato about it, but she hadn't seen her pseudo little brother in a solid month. She hadn't even been able to talk to him that time either, since she had been kitted out as ANBU captain Panther and not the jōnin kunoichi Nara Natsumi.

Despite what her little circle of friends did in the face of Panther, most of the rest of Leaf shinobi were rather unnerved in the face of a visit from even their own ANBU forces.

She blew out a mostly silent sigh as the rest of her squad finished mopping up, freeing the medic she had managed to snag for this deployment so he could seal up her pesky injury. They had maybe another two or three hours of sunlight left and the ANBU captain had a silent conversation with her second on what would be better, taking the two survivors back to their assigned temporary camp or leaving them here to be picked up later. She was of the opinion they should take the prisoners back, her second for this deployment was sure they weren't near Iwagakure and therefore the two bound ninja wouldn't be rescued in the next few hours.

The medic chipped in with a short message about being almost out of supplies, and that ended that conversation. Stag and Otter snatched up a prisoner each and took a leap upward into the sparse pines that dotted this particular mountain range, Goat following them and Panther bringing up the rear.

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi wasn't there when it happened, but she heard all about it long before her squad retreated to the leading division's encampment. As there were some benefits to the ninja gossip circles that even ANBU had a version of it to pass on the less regulated information, and the news was certainly long awaited enough that every ANBU squad they passed gave her a bit more information on their way in than the last one did.

Apparently a few hours ago, the leading divisions of allied forces managed to close the distance between them and the Village Hidden in the Rock's main entrance road. Then they managed to hold their ground against hastily structured combat teams thrown at them long enough for backup to arrive, solidifying a respectable tract of land a few hundred feet short of the twin spires that made up Iwa's front gate.

Admittedly, the sequence of events leading up to that was more like the first division took a wrong turn at a mountain pass and someone realized that feature in the distance wasn't a bunch of naturally occurring rocky spires, it was actually the ninja village they had been looking for. Taking a look at the view herself, over the hasty bulwarks thrown up by two divisions worth of shinobi against sniping efforts by stealth teams or long range earth jutsus, she could admit it was nearly impossible to realize what one was looking at if you didn't know there was a village there.

Nightfall might have been better, there were enough cut out windows that Natsumi was sure some lights might have given away the village's position, but it was morning when Iwa was spotted and it still was early afternoon by the time her squad got there.

Now the Leaf-Sand forces just had to figure out a way to close the distance without allowing Iwa-nin potshots at them and undoing all the good the medics had done keeping battlefield deaths down.

Iwagakure no Sato had a nearly perfect kill-box just in front of their main gates. She had to admire that feature, there was literally no other way into the village from where they were except through the heavily built gates almost half a mile ahead of them. To make it worse, in front of those massive slabs of reinforced wood was a rocky, treacherous, sloping rise bracketed by jutting, concave cliffs way too unstable to climb even with chakra. All of it was either naturally occurring rock or hard packed dirt, without even climbing ivy or moss to soften the view.

She wanted to know what kept it from eroding away, because that crap was unstable enough to dump even ANBU on their asses.

Whoever it was that founded the Village Hidden in the Rocks had to have thought they found the holy grail of naturally occurring rock formations. There was no sneaking in, no way any distraction would work long enough to distract attention long enough to get in, and Iwa took up enough land that trying to find a better way around would probably take another few months of dead ending plateaus and circling mountain ranges.

Not something she would lay money on anyone really wanting to do, even if it meant a suicide run to break into this Hidden Village.

Even worse, from what the sensors dotted around the temporary encampment were passing along to everyone that got in range of them, there was a massing of chakra signatures behind those imposing gates. Anyone that took the time to think about it probably suspected that Rock was going to try to throw their worst at the invasion force, probably shortly after dusk or sometime later that very night. It was really the last options available to old Ōnoki the Fence-Sitter, because given a day or two more enough Suna and Konoha-nin would be in range to throw anything but a bijuu back.

Then the war effort would turn to laying siege to Iwagakure itself. Something that could take months if not more years to do, and inevitably erode Rock into the ground before either invading village's Kage would allow it to stop.

This, she was almost sure, was the point in which Minato got his moniker of Konohagakure's Yellow Flash.

However it was _Panther_ , not Natsumi, who would bear witness to her kohai taking last few steps on the road to becoming the Fourth Hokage. She wasn't sure if she was disappointed, in not being in the right uniform to help him out with this, or gleeful, in that it would have to be him alone against however many Iwa threw at them and the point in which a flee-on-sight order was laid on his blond head.

Minato wasn't supposed to know the ANBU captain well enough to teach her some of his own signature shinobi arts. The fact that most ninja she worked with probably knew who she was notwithstanding, the rules almost beaten into ANBU were strict about this sort of thing.

Panther might be willing to bend the rules a lot, in letting Suna's Sasori and his honored grandmother know who she was when she thought she would be getting a different mask and letting the knowledge of her work stick in the heads of her more important people without denying it, but even she couldn't get away with allowing Iwa in on what Kumo had already figured out without paying the forfeit again. Probably also getting restricted to jōnin work even more than she had, because it really was only a matter of time, but that was a given.

The glance he threw at her when she stepped up to inform her Sunagakure counterpart and the two division commanders of the two new prisoners of war they had told her that Minato recognized the same thing she had and wasn't very happy with it.

Echo, the title given to the fifth wartime commander of Suna's variation of ANBU as apparently they were given temporary titles according to some archaic guideline instead of animal names based off of job classification like Konoha's, merely nodded to show he heard her. The two of them weren't the only ANBU division commanders standing around the hastily thrown together camp, but they were two of the more experienced and longest serving out there at the moment so they ended up jointly issuing orders to their own more often than not. He was the one to wave one of his subordinates and one of Panther's to deal with the prisoners her squad brought back with them.

She did think it was a little depressing, that she was old enough to be a senior member of authority again. Most of the Leaf masks around were familiar to her, but the ninja wearing them weren't.

Instead of getting worked up about a Suna-nin ordering her ninja around, she settled in to watch the argument/planning session going on next to Echo after giving her temporary squad mates the signal to stand down for a few hours. It wasn't likely they would get more time than that, given what Iwa would try to pull probably when the sun set.

Goat made a few silent comments with his hand as they left, mostly along the lines of ' _get a checkup sometime soon or I'm telling Mouse_ '. Panther pointedly ignored Echo's softly amused snort beside her, since the ass used the Sand/Leaf mashup version rather than the variants Konohagakure ANBU decided to keep to themselves.

She took back every thought she ever had on ANBU being impersonal. It only looked that way if you didn't know the black op's many systems of hand signals and body twitches to catch the sheer amount of mother hen clucking that went on. Silent or not. When she had been merely a squad member it hadn't seemed that way since most of it went over her head, but now that she knew almost all of the sign languages restricted to non-mission use it was embarrassingly obvious.

It was probably where Sakumo learned the habit of fussing after her and Kakashi, and now probably Midori. He was sometimes worse than Eri when he got going.

Thoughts about her very makeshift family, and their annoying habits, occupied most of her time while the jōnin commanders hashed out a tentative battle plan between them. The arguments that arose during that time seemed to be enough to strain even Minato's almost legendary patience, finely honed since their early academy days playing mediator between different shinobi clan heirs and their tempers.

Blue eyes flashing with a mix of irritation and annoyance, her almost-brother suddenly slammed his hands down on the flimsy table to get the squabble between some Suna jōnin and one of his own subordinates about where who would be stationed. "Enough. We have been using mixed squads for a few years now, there's no reason to change that at this late date."

The Suna jōnin didn't seem placated, but another jōnin Panther was sure was Mukade, Komushi's old jōnin-sensei, slapped him upside the head to keep him silent.

Her favorite blond stared down his own subordinate, and once the other Leaf jōnin backed off Mukade and Minato exchanged exasperatedly apologetic looks. They probably recognized that the other had leadership of most if not all of their respective groups instead of the argumentative idiots trying to establish their dominance over their fellows.

Panther, very carefully, did not snicker like she wanted to. Echo hitched a shoulder and had to be suppressing his chest to keep his own amusement from showing. It didn't help, because with how close the assassin was she could almost feel the jerking his ribs did.

It was very boring, for ANBU, when your only job was to stand around and look intimidating to prevent fights from breaking out. The others around had the enviable job of watching for infiltrators and spies, she and her fellow Suna ANBU were really only there to allow the planning jōnin commanders to speak with the black ops leaders.

As the planning session dragged on, Natsumi's eyes wandered to the Sand shinobi she shared a student with. She wondered if Komushi was here as well, even if she was mostly sure Sunagakure wouldn't allow the young man to leave their village until he passed on what she taught him to at least two others. Stranger things _had_ happened, and if she got a few minutes she vowed to find out if her old apprentice was here or not.

(ooo000ooo)

Komushi would admit to being a little unnerved by how different everything was.

As a chūnin ranked Sunagakure missive runner, the last time he had been in Earth he spent most of his time running. From one war camp to the other or from the few battles in progress he came across, but he still spent more than half his time on his feet going this way and that.

Being a jōnin ranked fūinjutsu user was as different from that as Suna was to Konoha.

He was considered an asset now, and almost jealously guarded whenever he changed encampments to place his version of Kushina-sama's barriers and his own shishou's security ones to secure the camps even better than his fellow Sand ninja could do with guard shifts alone. Komushi still spent a lot of time on his own, since Natsumi-shishou had been correct when she told him fūinjutsu users were notorious for exploding and he inked whatever seal was needed in the field, but he now had his own guards standing just out of his view as he did it.

He would be claiming that as his distraction for why his old shishou managed to sneak up on him.

Komushi spent a silent moment gaping in horror the moment he noticed her, then he flailed his ink splattered hands in the shorter kunoichi's direction. "Shishou! Get _down_ from there!"

Nara Natsumi merely tilted her head down in his direction, both sandaled feet firmly planted on his barrier and sticking there with chakra control. All Komushi could think about was that if the Nara's concentration broke Shikaku-sama would kill him for blowing his wife's feet off.

"Have more faith in yourself, Komushi. I do." Then she calmly strolled down the side of the barrier Komushi had been testing, smirking at the expression on his face.

Komushi knew that only someone that keenly knew the fūinjutsu user's chakra were able to walk on their barriers. Kushina-sama proved that when Minato-san walked on hers just as easily as his old master was walking on his. Since this kunoichi helped him develop his suiton chakra nature over the years of his apprenticeship, it wasn't all that surprising that she could.

However it had been two years since they last saw one another, he should be excused from worrying. He did add a lot of doton jutsus to his elemental skills since then, and they should've differed in chakra a large bit over that time. On the other hand, depending on how long she had been lurking about, she might have noticed and adjusted to that.

He still breathed much easier when the kunoichi was on the ground again, and not on the barrier he had been experimenting with.

Now that he wasn't panicking about having the Nara clan head after his hide because his wife had too much faith in him, he noticed a few things he probably should've made note of the moment he saw her.

Like for instance, the kunoichi wasn't wearing the flak vest that signified a Konohagakure chūnin promotion and her black shirt seemed to be skin tight under her clan jacket. Knowing of her work, he assumed it meant the kunoichi hadn't been deployed as a Nara kunoichi and she didn't have all the parts to her jōnin uniform with her. She was standing there anyways, calm under his scrutiny.

There were also stress lines on her face.

Ninja might live hard and fast, but for something to etch visible marks on them it had to be either brutal close calls or taken years' worth of effort.

Komushi had seen his shishou after dealing with both of their village's Councils. She hadn't been stressed from that, merely irritated or exasperated, so the lines surprised him. Her hair was still as dark as the first time he had seen her, and there were a few faint laugh lines mixed in, but something was bothering his shishou and he had to suppress the desire to bribe the Puppet Brigade to hunt it down for her.

He could do it too, his thoughts about what use he could put to the kunoichi's woodworking seals had been accurate. Sasori had adored his birthday gift of those seals, and now his workshop was the most envied in Suna.

"So, are you ever going to introduce me? I almost feel like your dirty little secret."

Blinking, Komushi wordlessly stared at the kunoichi until she pointed behind him. He turned his head and flushed a bit because yes, she was talking about his old jōnin-sensei and adultery in the same sentence.

He desperately hoped Shikaku-sama wasn't out here with them, he wanted a running head start if that ever got back to the man.

"Mukade-sensei, this is Natsumi-shishou, who I learned fūinjutsu under. Shishou, my genin sensei."

The two of them sized each other up, as if they hadn't been doing that since the moment they spotted each other, and Natsumi smirked when Mukade-sensei nodded as if giving permission.

Komushi had a bad feeling about that.

"Komushi… I've a question for you." The Nara beamed at him and he had the frantic thought of running while he still could.

"Why haven't you sent me a letter in the past year? I do want to hear you're still alive every once and again, you know. I had to hear from Sasori-kun about your promotion."

He should've started running when he had the chance.

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi kept an eye on the sky, since she really only had so much time free to bother her old student with.

As fun as it was to make Komushi turn different shades of red, and to get to know the jōnin that trained up her student before her, she had a reason for coming out here.

An ANBU signal bounced off her poor chakra senses, and the assassin hefted a sigh.

"Shishou?" Komushi peered at her in badly concealed concern, something that had been lurking in his eyes ever since he got a good look at her.

"I got to go back to work. But I want a word with you before that." She crooked a finger at him, and Mukade was kind enough to allow them to reposition on the other side of the clearing Komushi had been using to experiment in safety with.

It wasn't ideal, but with her own seals it would work.

Natsumi smoothed the one that would keep the conversation to themselves on a tree trunk, turning to seriously measure her old apprentice's growth since leaving her side. He looked less like a gangly cat and more like her Kenta would've in human form, sleekly muscled and geared for more speed than strength. He also had a confidence he hadn't possessed five years ago when he started learning under her, one that proclaimed he knew what he was doing and if you interrupted he couldn't guarantee your safety.

Taller than her now too, but eh. Everyone would be in time.

Leaving Konoha had been good for him, loathed as she did letting him go. The year of messages hadn't really assuaged that much.

"I want you to be careful, Komushi. Don't trust anything that claims it's from me unless one of my cats deliver it or it's held by ANBU bearing one of my explosive seals."

"Shishou?"

"I'm not sure." She wasn't really, something was going on and she had suspicions as to what was going sour in her village, but she wanted her bases covered anyways. "Just… promise me."

"I'll be careful." Komushi promised faithfully. "I'll even tell Sasori you're worried, he'll keep me out of trouble."

He really should hold more suspicion about the motives of a Leaf jōnin kunoichi, old teacher or not, but she couldn't argue right now.

Danzō could be a colossal dick, he wiped out almost an entire shinobi clan through his meddling and she wouldn't put it past him to kill her old, foreign student just to cast doubts on her reputation.

Especially since she had just spent an hour playing catch up with him.

"That'll have to do." She patted him on the arm as she ripped off her seal, turning away from the clearing and Mukade's view. "I've got to go back now, take care of yourself."

Natsumi cocked a faint grin at Echo as she left the rocky clearing behind.

The man simply shrugged and handed back her mask.

"I thought you were supposed to get a different one."

She examined the mostly black cat mask before slipping it back on. "I don't know what you're talking about, it _is_ a different one."

(ooo000ooo)

To make matters worse, it was raining that night.

A rather nasty spring storm had been building for hours, but they had been hoping it would hold out until morning. It hadn't happened that way, and it looked to be one of those heavy rains and not just a sprinkle shower they had sometimes been buffeted by since the snow started melting a few months ago.

Panther was irritated. Not only did tiny stones pelt her mask and armor when the wind picked up, now she was going to be wet as Iwa tried it's best to kill them.

No, she wasn't just mostly worried over Minato's health in this upcoming fight.

Even if the commanding officers of both divisions want to dig in and wait for reinforcements, there were almost double the number of guards normally posted hanging around in bunches. Half the shinobi there couldn't relax enough to catch any sleep, and the restless energy floating about the encampment was keying up everyone else that might have gotten some shuteye while they could.

The waiting got worse the closer it got to dusk, little arguments breaking out between the least controlled members of both village's shinobi corps. She and Echo had to step in a few times just to keep the few lobbed weapons from turning into aggressive fights.

She almost missed the opening skirmish when she had been shifting around Leaf ANBU guard rotations.

It was a Sunagakure sensor-nin that caught it, raising a shout about ninja in the cliff faces. She missed what village the first responder had been from, but the rock spikes he threw in response skewered something by the bloody mud that poured out of the rocky wall. Part of the cliff crumbled in response to the action, revealing a few body parts too many to have only been one or two ninjas trying to sneak up on the camp.

Then the Iwa-nin gave up their stealth, melting out of the very ground and cliffs now that their element of surprise was gone. They were rather notorious for their doton control.

Panther had very little time to think after that. They hadn't gotten as far as they probably wanted, but they got close enough to lash out at the more support orientated ninja that should've been well behind the skirmish line when the fighting broke out. That meant the shinobi tasked to guard duty were some of the initial fighters, and the ones set to guard were all either injured or long-range shinobi. Added to the limited visibility the rain was giving them, Panther expected it to be rather painful fight.

She twisted, sliding the blade of her katana between a medic and a scruffy shinobi wearing Iwa's mark. Stag bolted in close from wherever he had been before and wrenched his head around far enough to almost pop it off. Echo slit the throat of someone behind her judging from the blood spray that hit the back of her neck, and she reversed her blade to skewer another ninja in the head before he could attack Echo's unguarded side when he shifted to meet another threat.

Someone farther than her katana's reach managed to throw a kunai through her guard, killing the medic she had bought only seconds for, but Echo's second in command Delta had been healed enough he lashed out with some kind of fire breath and torched the medic killer just before her water blade punched through his chest.

The injured Suna ANBU grabbed the medic's corpse and dove out of their way, leaving his commander at Panther's back.

It did free them up enough to spread out a bit farther and create a pocket of calm just behind them as a few more ANBU joined up. That pocket was used by medics for triage more times than she wanted to think about as the ANBU worked on making a bulwark of bodies.

Panther hadn't been tasked with fighting in a stationary position before with targets right behind her, and as the third kunai slipped past her guard she swore she would work on it to the souls of those she couldn't save.

Then Komushi was there and gone again, ducking under the water whip she swung in her offhand to save Stag's hide, leaving behind a version of a barrier seal she hadn't seen before. It _worked_ though, freezing the throwing weapons in midair if not the arm holding a short sword swung at her head.

She lopped the arm off with chakra assistance, and ignored the screech that earned her.

Fascinatingly, the sword hung there with the arm for a moment before the dying limb fell off.

Panther gave it another moment of attention as Echo pressed two fingers into her right shoulder. She tapped him three times in his chest armor on the left side, and the both of them advanced to kill any Iwa-nin that had view of the medic's triage point. She, Stag, and Goat to the left, Echo and his subordinate to the right.

It took another few minutes, as many as thirty and probably no less that fifteen, to clear a stretch of the battlefield enough so the Sand and Leaf forces had a spot to fall back at.

She had lost sight of Minato's bright hair when the rain started, but she could feel him flicking around somewhere to the north of her position. Knowing he would advance to the worse of the fighting, Panther directed her ANBU to sweep out and clear their rear of Iwa-nin before reestablishing the encampment's perimeters.

Her attention was drawn upwards briefly when a bolt of lightning rent open the sky, just in time to see a number of unmistakable gleams of oddly shaped metal start falling to the ground.

Panther gritted her teeth and ignored the faint tug of her blood on those seals, grimly turning back to establishing a safe zone Minato could use after he was done.

After a while, the faces started blurring together as flashes of pale smears in the dark as she fought for breathing room. Both allies and opponent alike.

Natsumi didn't like to admit to it, but she was one of the ninja that ignored the fact her targets had faces. Because if she thought about it, of what she would be ending with her katana's blade, she would freeze up. That ran the risk of forgetting who was your comrade and who was trying to kill you, and accidently impaling the wrong one.

Parents that had to bury their hopefully grown children, lovers that grieved, children that asked for their missing parents, she was the cause of more than her fair share.

The flash of blond hair and blue eyes in the mechanical blur of water and motion caught her attention like a vice. The shinobi in front of her didn't look remotely familiar, but he had Minato's coloring.

She hesitated, because blond was a color she associated with a few of the men in her life, which let him the space to skewer her on a spire of rock. Loosing contact with her katana wasn't probably the best thing that could have happened, but the bloody water she commanded to take its form for a moment worked just as well.

\V/

Minato wrenched his eyes open, blinking at the rough canvas overhead that met his sight instead of yet another face of a man or woman he would have to kill.

Wait… they didn't have tents up…

He flicked his eyes around cautiously, landing on a kunoichi sitting at the foot of his bed calmly peeling an apple.

Blinking a few times didn't change what he was seeing, so he assumed it really was a jōnin, for the moment, Natsumi sitting there with fruit and not a genjutsu.

Strange…

"Awake finally?"

Minato grimaced, pushing himself up slowly as he took stock of his body's condition and trying his voice. "What…?"

"You've been out of it for two days. What part of ligament damage in the testing phase didn't you get?" But she leaned forward and took a glass of water off the rock that served as his bedside table, gingerly which clued him in to the slowly reddening bandage around her own stomach, and gave it to him. "We're safe right now. There's about five divisions' worth of shinobi here, either on guard or poking around. They showed up the very next morning after that ambush from hell, which I will never let them forget about. I'm going to tease Hizashi until we're both old and gray about his timing issues."

He flexed his major muscle groups as he took sips of the water, checking to see if everything responded or not. Sore, but nothing seemed to be missing.

Well, nothing physical anyways. He was pretty sure he was missing something else, like why his sempai wasn't hitting him yet. Minato knew the last time he did something reckless and stupid she made it a point to ensure he felt like an ass about it. Using his hiraishin seal _that_ many times even when he knew it would harm him was pretty reckless.

Why hadn't she said anything about it yet?

Instead of acting irritable or smirking in that way of conveying sadistic pleasure, like she usually did when someone did something she thought of as idiotic, Natsumi finished peeling the apple as he set the glass aside.

Which made Minato even more suspicious. He liked apples, he knew she knew that. The field rationing they were subjected to meant he didn't get a lot of the fruit very often.

Instead of commenting on how eerily calm she was, he tried to change the subject.

"What's going on?"

…or not.

Natsumi sliced a piece off with her kunai and held it out. "We're waiting on you, you ass."

Minato took it, because he was hungry and probably didn't have the dexterity to get one himself just yet, but he was very confused. "What?"

"You killed over two hundred and fifty Iwa-nin in about an hour of battle. You're officially a walking natural disaster, kouhai."

He choked on his apple slice.

"It's like you're Iwagakure no Sato's version of the bogyman. We stated we were going to send you in for the negotiations, Iwa's diplomats folded like wet paper right then just so you wouldn't show up again." Natsumi calmly sliced up more of the apple in her hands, grinning slightly. "Konohagakure's Yellow Flash, that's what they're calling you. At least, those that had a good spot to watch are. I was a bit busy at the time, I'll have to take their word for it."

Minato swallowed uneasily. He hadn't let himself count the number of times he slammed a kunai point home in lethal spots, and he would probably have nightmares of spraying blood and picture perfect faces of horror for months… but…

Oh.

He wasn't in trouble.

She probably knew what he was expecting, because the smirk on her face faded. "We were being overrun, Minato. Then suddenly the enemies started drying up and we had elbow room again. If you hadn't done it, a lot of us wouldn't be alive right now. Me among them, because I got impaled on a doton jutsu near the end. Had that gone on any longer, I would've died before a medic had the time to drag me off and healed what they could so I'd last a bit more."

His eyes dropped to the bloodstained bandages around her waist even as he took another bit of apple, measuring the injury by the stain.

"I'm fine, it missed the spine. I'll heal up in another day or two and then I can leave the medic tents. Worst possibility is that I'll lose a kidney, but I've got two of those."

Minato released a shaky breath and finally pushed himself fully upright. There hadn't been any time to worry when the Iwa-nin started popping out of the ground like some kind of twisted mockery of prairie dogs, but there had been that flash of alarm that streaked through him when he realized the enemy had gotten beyond his front skirmish line. Half a mile apparently hadn't been far enough for the support elements they should have protected. He probably wasted too much time trying to decide if he should risk extensive use of the hiraishin seals or not.

"Don't even. We're mostly alright. You did what you had to."

"Mostly is _not_ reassuring, sempai."

Natsumi shrugged, winced, discarded the kunai and pressed a clawed hand to her sluggishly bleeding stomach. "Mostly will have to do, because I won't lie to you. The medics took a hit, I lost a few ANBU, and some of those sensor-nin are vicious little _fucks_ when cornered."

A bark of laughter escaped him, then a snort, and finally he gave up and started snickering.

"And if I had to, I would totally allow Suna's version of ANBU at my back again. They're pretty awesome, even if I'm in change of all of it right now."

Minato, now that he had a little more energy, started stretching out his back and arms, shaking the last of the tired feeling out of his upper body. "Why are you in charge?"

"Because my counterpart didn't make it, or his second. So I'm basically the only one out here with the time put in and the experience to lead, because the poor idiot they claimed was in charge now that Echo and Delta are gone probably hasn't served for more than a year or two. Suna should be sending someone else along in a few, probably by tomorrow." She waved the thought away. "Not like there's all that much to do besides guard rosters and patrol schedules. But I'm going to gladly dump it all off on my next co-leader I don't have to figure out how to indirectly instruct to do his job right without giving him orders, I'm tired of doing all the damn paperwork."

"We're ninja, sempai. We'll never escape that."

"I didn't sign up for that." Natsumi stuck her tongue out at him and offered the half of a peeled apple in her hand, since her other was contaminated with blood. "And that shit wasn't in the fine print. I was promised exotic locations and hot ninja men when I joined. _Lies_ , I say."

"Didn't you once tell me military strength was measure by how many trees an army goes through in a day? Why are you surprised? I probably have paperwork waiting for me too." Snickering at her face, Minato tested his balance and accepted the rest of the fruit she had been feeding him since he woke up. He would still probably have nightmares, but Natsumi was always good at distractions from his thoughts. "And Shikaku might have an objection to that last bit."

It would have to do until he could go home and hold on to the love of his life for the darkest hours of the night.

"Meh… Okay. Shika works for hot ninja men, but Iwagakure is not exotic. This is _hick_ territory, kouhai."

Rubbing the bridge of his nose and forcing down the piece of apple that tried to jump out of his throat, he decided to ignore the part about her husband as he strapped his equipment pouches and his flak vest. Leaving an apple core in their place, but Natsumi had the skin to deal with still anyways. "I'll pass you complaints on, sempai."

She stuck her nose in the air. "Damn straight you will, now go and kick some diplomat ass so we can go home already."

Minato saluted her with two fingers, taking the few steps outside of the tent he woke up in.

He stopped short once clear of the tent flap.

He was, somehow, in the ANBU territory of the camp set up while he was unconscious. Confused, as he wasn't ANBU and Natsumi didn't abuse her privileges like this without a damn good reason, he wandered to where the rocky outskirts had an opening.

The moment he got beyond the professionally polite mixed ANBU guards he understood.

Half the people that came over to either greet him or thank him he hadn't said two word to before.

This, combined with the fact Iwa would probably stop at nothing to kill him now, meant he had been stuck with ANBU so any assassination attempt would fail. Even better, he had been stuck with the best assassin Leaf had out there, injured or not Natsumi was still someone one would pause at trying to kill.

She was getting pretty notorious for surviving those kinds of attempts.

Grinning faintly with fondness for his sneaky sister figure, he responded politely to the overawed, or overeager, salutations and picked his way through the ninja. Intent on fulfilling her request so they could go home a few months early.

\V/

Hiruzen personally met them at the gates.

If that wasn't a sign of things to come, Natsumi would hang up her Panther mask for good that very day.

Minato was still slightly surprised by it, and he had three weeks of getting used to the half-concealed hero worship out on the frontlines. Sometimes she really did wonder about the state of her kouhai's head.

Floundering slightly, the jōnin fūinjutsu master thumped his chest after a moment of indecision in the respect a Konohagakure shinobi normally gave their Hokage… just not when the man came out of the village's walls to greet a returning shinobi force. Everyone else followed his example except the black ops, they crouched down on any available surface to see what the Sandaime wanted.

Hiruzen smirked faintly, running an eye over the returning Iwa invasion force that finally hammered the war into an abrupt halt. He lingered faintly on a few of the mud encrusted chūnin and the cracked armor plates of the ANBU forces lingering on the village's walls.

"Welcome home. Go to your deserved rest with Konoha's thanks for a job well done." He gave a pointed look to both Minato and Panther before turning and leading the rest of the shinobi through the village's main gates.

Instead of going straight home and crashing for a week, like she wanted, she dismissed her ANBU for the last time as their division commander and shadowed her almost-brother to the Hokage's Tower and up to Hiruzen's office.

Tsunade and Sakumo were there as well so Natsumi gave up being sneaky and slumped to the floor. They probably already knew she was there anyways, they both had better senses than her.

The Slug Princess corralled them both and checked them over with single-minded intensity, shoving the kunoichi at her old taicho after lingering on her stomach and firmly seating Minato in the chair normally reserved for clients or diplomats. "What part of _ligament damage_ did you not remember?"

Natsumi snickered weakly as she peeled off her mask. "Called it."

"Shut it, sempai." Minato tiredly rubbed his face. "I didn't have much of a choice, Tsunade-sama. It was either getting overrun that night or half-killing myself trying to be in more places than physically possible at the same time."

The medic huffed irritably, manipulating his limbs without so much as a by your leave from him.

Hiruzen waited calmly as his old kunoichi student ensured the pair of war leaders that had lead his ninja were perfectly alright if exhausted.

Natsumi recalling something she had come across that last week in Iwa, dug around in her weapons pouch for Iwa's latest bingo book. "Minato's got a flee-on-sight order out on him, Hiruzen-sama."

The blond blinked at her. "I do?"

She tossed her taicho the book, who paged through it until he found Minato's page. "You do. And a price on your head."

The Hokage glanced at the offered paper, smirking around his pipe, before nodding so the jōnin in question could see for himself.

An S-rank threat estimation and an initial thirty thousand ryo bounty, preferably dead and not alive, hike from A-rank and nothing wasn't anything to sneeze at. The flee-on-sight order was just topping it off or adding insult to injury, depending on your view of it. The bounty would probably get higher the longer the fūinjutsu master stayed alive, making her pretty damn proud of that as his initial bounty price.

While Minato was occupied with that, Natsumi started informing the three physically older shinobi of what had gone on since being deployed, even if the three of them knew most of it already from reports sent back. "It started pretty much the same way as the last time we were out there, scouting for that thrice blasted village. Until someone took a wrong turn and finally found the damn thing. Had that not happened, we probably would've circled Iwagakure no Sato a few times before finding it."

"But we got there, with a division of Suna's, around morning four months in." Minato added as he gave the assassin back her ill-gotten book. "We threw up some earth, made a camp, and stretched out so the canyon like entrance wouldn't trap us if we had to pull out suddenly."

"Not the best idea, given what happened."

"It would've worked had they not stacked their shinobi five deep and sent them well _under_ our sensors' ranges."

Sakumo winced at that, easily imagining what a shinobi could do with that. "So you were bunched up? Or too far away?"

"Bit of both." Natsumi admitted frankly, as she had been the only one conscious for the day after when the allied ninja tried to make sense of what had happened. "We had the close combat shinobi out front with a few mid-range support types, injured and medics in the middle about half a mile behind that, then long-range mostly in the back but also scattered through just in case. Iwa popped up like demented jack-in-the-boxes once one of the Suna sensors picked a team out of the dirt sometime after nightfall, ranging from the middle cluster of medics to Minato's line in the front."

"I didn't see the middle range, I was a bit too busy with the outpour of ninja coming from the gate once the ambush was tripped. And it was pouring buckets by then, so our range of sight wasn't the greatest." Minato raked a hand through his shaggy hair, forcing it to stick up a bit more than natural. "By half an hour in I realized we were losing too many to keep the foothold on Iwagakure's doorstep, and something had to be done before we were all slaughtered."

Sakumo blinked, and Tsunade scowled, as the two of them paused.

Hiruzen coughed politely to regain their attention.

Natsumi pointed a finger at Minato, shaking her head in an attempt for innocence. "It was all his idea. I had nothing to do with it."

He rolled his eyes at her dramatics. "I had a store of hiraishin kunai on me, ever since that fake out in Hot Water and Frost when I nearly ran out. I used the few hundred I had on me to basically be my own one man army. It's not something I want to do again, because even now I can't really recall everything I did during that. It all runs together in the end in a slur of blood and faces."

"We noticed the cutoff of opponents, but at that time I hadn't a clue what was going on. ANBU managed to get more than a handful of small pockets for the medics, and I directed all of us, because at that point both my Suna counterpart and his second in command had bit the dust, to secure the encampment again while some went to see what the hell was up if the frontlines hadn't retreated to help us out. I got impaled, almost lost a kidney, but held on enough to ensure we had a cleared camp to rest in before passing out."

Natsumi frowned faintly, recalling that one moment of blind panic when Goat and one of the Suna ANBU dragged her brother's limp body back to her during the faint predawn when they tried to regroup. That image and blood loss had been the worst parts of the cleanup effort for her, and she had been out of it for most of that.

"Then we stalled like professionals while Hizashi's division caught up to us and brought along another of Suna's. Bought a bit more time threatening to sic Minato on Iwa again, even if he wasn't awake at that point, so another three could set up behind us."

"Then I woke up, and started demanding answers to why they were trying to knock the border posts over a few years ago." Minato had a faintly disgusted expression on his face. "They had the gall to pretend ignorance."

"Which was pretty much the state of things as we left it, Iwa playing innocent and the invasion force camped out on their front lawn." Natsumi finished with a shrug. "Then the diplomats took over and you called us home, Hiruzen-sama."

"How the hell…" Sakumo trailed off, shaking his head after a bemused moment. "What, are they claiming selective memory or something?"

"I think the official version they're trying to go with is that a bunch of nuke-nin wearing their hitai-ate impersonated them in the beginning."

Which was somewhat possible if highly unlikely, but that would mean Iwa had lost the plot badly to the point they had no clue what was going on at the major borders between them and the other Great Shinobi Nations… and if it _was_ true it would be highly embarrassing for them. Natsumi really didn't think it was true, because Kumo had gotten through the fighting a few times before Konoha started smashing in teeth in response and they should've sent word or something long before the Leaf forces got to Earth's foothills.

It did explain what had happened to Rōshi and Han, if Iwagakure had been planning on claiming innocence for most of the year. Deploying one's jinchūriki to kill every foreign ninja out there when you were in the wrong did not leave a village with any leverage to try escaping the consequences of their actions or inactions that brought an invasion force of two different shinobi villages to your doorstep. They had been restricted within the Hidden Village's formidable walls, once the Tsuchikage realized Iwa couldn't stop the Suna-Konoha forces alone, so if the allied shinobi started a siege they would have some of their heaviest hitters within reach and not caught out with the enemy.

Hiruzen tapped out the ashes in his pipe, studying the two seated across his desk. "Do either of you believe that?"

Minato's face hardened into a neutral expression, thinning his mouth into a line. " _No_. Those raids were too noisy and went on too long to not be obviously apparent to anyone traveling through Kusa. Before even that, Iwa pulled their ambassadors in advance of any raids on our border posts. Over three years of fighting, they had the opportunity to mention something like that if it were at all true. They knew perfectly well what they were doing."

"It's not like the invasion took them by surprise. They were well situated before we even got to the passes into Earth. If we were just hunting down oddly dressed nuke-nin we wouldn't have had to fight our way into Earth's passes."

Natsumi thought about it even more than she had already, shaking her head after a quiet moment of contemplation.

"Besides, there wasn't any sign that the supposed 'rogues' weren't part of Iwagakure in the first place. In the push out, we would've noticed any of those groups getting slaughtered wholesale if they really had been nuke-nin impersonating them. Someone would've said something about behavior that strange, and we would've guessed something was up. And their two jinchūriki, Han and Roshi, were out there almost from the start. I would've accepted that one might have noticed and lingered to draw attention if he had just stumbled across us invading their home country, but not both from the very beginning."

The blond on her right huffed, blinking at her.

"What? We would've killed rogues that tried to retreat into our positions. Iwa would've done the same if that had been what happened."

"Sometimes, sempai, your head is a very strange place."

"Oh come on. If they really wanted another option just in case their warmongering failed spectacularly, they would've sent chūnin led by few jōnin shinobi to play rogues and killed them if they got pushed back far enough to threaten Earth's outer reaches. They were neither cautious nor careful in trying to take a bite out of us, serves them right." Natsumi scowled at his blanch. "What?"

"Do you really spend time thinking about how you would do something better than the people we _just_ finished fighting?"

"ANBU guard duty is very damn boring. You'd want a mental puzzle or three too if you had to lurk in a corner and just look menacing for hours on end. And watching your back was as boring as fuck these last few weeks, they were too damn scared of you to try anything interesting. We _checked_."

Minato rubbed his face tiredly, snickering at her. "I stand by my previous statement."

"You know I'm awesome. Jealousy doesn't become you, kouhai."

"What do I have to be jealous of? I'm the one with an S-rank."

A cough snapped their attention back to the very patient Hokage, which made Natsumi straighten up and Minato to smooth out his face before they both chimed a very contrite "Sorry, Hiruzen-sama."

The Hokage merely shrugged, tapping his unlit pipe on the ashtray on his desk. "I will inform the Diplomatic Corps of your analysis of the situation, take a week to recover yourselves. A week, neko-chan, not three days."

Natsumi flushed lightly, rubbing at her nose with a knuckle. "Hai, Hiruzen-sama."

She caught Minato's stern look out of the corner of her eye too. Damn, there went that plan.

"Check in with the hospital tomorrow, sometime before noon." Tsunade eyed the both of them sternly from over Hiruzen's shoulder. "I want a full checkup on everyone coming back, no exceptions."

Sakumo did not laugh at their automatic nods to her order, like his grin suggested he wanted to, handing the assassin back her mask. "Be gone then, we'll take it from here."

(ooo000ooo)

"He needs a few years, because he is young." Tsunade took one of the now empty seats, scowling faintly out the window where Panther had left from. "But I'll vote for him."

The silver haired kenjutsu master lurking around the door after seeing Minato out firmly shut it behind him. "I would've thought-"

"I don't want the damn hot seat." Interrupted the Slug Princess shortly, turning back to her genin sensei. "Jiraiya doesn't want it either, he's too invested in wandering around and handling his spy network to give it up for long stretches. He'll vote for his student just because, anyways. Way too idealistic, that idiot."

Sakumo crossed the room to shut the window as well, leaning up against the wall like he had during his ANBU days instead of taking a seat. "If you two don't want it, and I don't want it, Bear-sama's going to be insufferably smug if it works out like he wants."

"If?" Hiruzen questioned of the Hatake patriarch.

" _If_. If he gets it pass Shikaku. Because if there is anyone she'd give her work up for the moment they seriously ask her to, it's Minato and Shikaku." The ex-ANBU shrugged. "And me; probably Kakashi-kun; maybe Midori-chan when she's old enough to understand… and Eri; but we wouldn't ask that. Me because I know what it's like and I know she can handle it, my wife and children wouldn't know enough to ask. Yet, that is."

"Not Jiraiya-kun?"

That pulled Sakumo up for a moment. "Possibly. Depends on how insistent he is about it. He had been making noise about dropping ANBU for most of her life already. If he gave a good enough reason, she might just listen to him."

Hiruzen laced his gnarled fingers together and set his elbows on the desk. "How likely is Bear going to get his way?"

The latest generation of ninja to reach adulthood was a tightly knit group, changing up some of the long held relations between Konohagakure no Sato clans and what they did. The hostility between the Hyūga clan and Uchiha clan died off slightly; the Naras were considered in charge of the academy; Inuzuka clan members seemed to prefer Aburame mission partners; the Yamanaka clan seemed to have taken over T&I somehow; and even with him watching it all happen he still had difficulty pinning down what had occurred to start those changes.

All Hiruzen knew for sure was that some of it had to do with one blond jōnin shinobi and his ghost eyed shadow. Because where Minato went, Natsumi drifted along sooner or later like how any cat would behave if something caught their attention.

Then there was that circle of friends the two of them had, which the young man seemed to occasionally lead when needed like it was his right to do so. Clan-less orphan a year or three younger or not.

Most if not all the more substantial clan heads belonged in that circle, and a few of the informal meeting held when they could spare the time allowed the Hokage to keep an even better feel for what issues were plaguing his ninjas than he could with only reports to read and a few council sessions every month or so. He even had been there to watch a few incidents die a swift death before they even became problems he had to deal with, because one clan head had no problem calling another one an idiot if the slur was correct.

The relations they had were _strong enough_ to move beyond that name calling in mere minuets, not days or weeks like it had taken in Hiruzen's early days of being Hokage.

Which had proved him right, all those years ago when he asked the clans to send their heirs to the academy instead of training them themselves.

Radical of him, at the time, but it had proven to be one of his better ideas.

Sakumo sighed after a few moments thinking about it. "I don't know, it would mostly depend on how Bear approached the two of them."

Hiruzen drew his thoughts away from the moment that made Minato a strong contender for his replacement, the incident between the Nara clan and the Uchihas, to refocus on the silver haired jōnin before him. "Are you going to give him any warning, Sakumo?"

"Naw, let him run into that." The Dog Summoner grinned toothily. "Might knock a bit of arrogance out of him."

Tsunade snorted at him. "It's not arrogance if you're right."

\V/

Natsumi could spend one whole glorious day in bed, but then she had to get up.

Not just for Tsunade-sama's medical checks, but because her old genin students somehow heard she was back again and stormed her home in a fit.

"Koichi's missing, sensei."

"Koichi-kun's not missing, I know where he is." Natsumi pointed Ibiki at her other stupidly tall chūnin on the study's couch, Gai, who had beaten the infiltrator by an hour. "Sit."

No, she didn't want to know what had happened to Gai's hair while she had been gone. She knew why he had a bowl cut already, and the details behind that could _stay_ unknown. Now if Kakashi somehow got Gai into a green bodysuit, then she would demand answers before cackling madly at the rebirth of Konohagakure's Youthful Green Beast.

She was perfectly happy to be home again, but someone could've told her she'd be coming home early. There were plans being disrupted, and if she didn't know she had a hand in ruining them she'd be a bit upset by it.

"You two should've had a month or two to find your own way, but apparently that's not going to happen." Natsumi rubbed her nose, just because she could again without those dratted claws tearing up her face, as the two chūnin started expectantly at her. "So, Koichi-kun's training for ANBU right now."

The only reason she knew that was because Sakumo slipped her a word while Tsunade was checking them over, before she tore apart the village and ANBU headquarters ensuring that _was_ where her brat was. She wasn't supposed to know, because she was the one to nominate him for candidacy and sponsors were allowed first pick of new recruits. Knowing when your subordinate was being fed through ANBU's equivalent of a meat grinder invited cheating, which was typical of ninja even if it didn't really help the poor saps being trained.

Bear-sama had been her sponsor, strangely. She had been expecting Wolf to have nominated her all those years ago. She did wonder how that not knowing thing worked out for him.

It was why Hiruzen had been strangely firm in that week off, to the point of ensuring Minato knew she wasn't supposed to be working.

The moment she stepped back in ANBU HQ, she'd hear about it before even getting to her office.

Ibiki, the intelligent sadist he was, stared at her knowingly. "What was supposed to happen that you knew about, then?"

She pulled a face at them, affronted. "I had _plans_ , thank you very much. It's not my fault the war is stupidly unpredictable."

"Sensei," Gai admonished in that strangely affectionate tone that sometimes caused Kakashi to shudder last year, "what was it we were supposed to do?"

"I just told you, it's not my fault if you don't listen."

"Find our own way?" Her surliest chūnin subordinate quoted from memory before the tai user could, scowling. "Really sensei?"

"I know where you might fit, in the times Koichi-kun and I are gone. But I wanted you two to have some idea of what you wanted to do with the rest of your careers so you're not waiting on us."

Ibiki blinked at her, and exchanged a strangely communicative look with his teammate.

Natsumi watched them hold a conversation with one look, deciding that either they knew her and each other too damn well or she was getting predictable.

"Where did you think we'd fit, sensei?"

"Oh no. I'm not doing that. I tell you where, you'll go off and do it and for the rest of your lives you'll wonder if you wouldn't be better off in some other job."

"I highly _fucking_ doubt that." Ibiki told her with a bland face, ignoring Gai's admonishing elbow jabbed in his side.

Natsumi blinked, and not entirely because that action reminded her of the Inuzuka Alpha and Aburame clan head when the former started swearing just because. If Tsume was a snotty, hulking brat and Shibi an energetic, morally uptight taijutsu user, that is.

"You've worked with Yamanakas before, even if no one can tell me just how much psychology you know. But from what we've pieced together, you know enough to be called in as a troubleshooter sometimes. And you know us, to the point you've been pretty accurate in guessing what issues we had with shinobi life and each other."

Even Gai blinked at Ibiki's sudden verbal diarrhea, but the infiltrator barreled on with his conclusions before either of them could speak up.

"You were pretty confident in my role for the team, but you changed up Gai before we even left the village that first time and had something else waiting for Koichi to just ask about. You knew Gai was going to be great at taijutsu, but you spent weeks helping him try other things and only looked resigned when he picked the art you knew he was good for. Then you weighted and measured Koichi until you knew what he was nibbling at, because he wasn't happy as just a scout even if he was good for it, and arranged things so he could test himself in ANBU like he probably wanted to the moment you mentioned saboteurs. All under your watch, so you'd be certain to pull him out the moment he decides he's done with it if that happens. You did that for us, even before you decided if you liked having a genin team or not."

The infiltrator got to his feet, a sneer painted across his face. If she didn't know him as well as she did, she might have paused at that.

"You're probably the best judge of our skills, if you think we've got a chance to be good at something you wouldn't let us fuck it all up before even getting there."

"Sit down, Ibiki." Natsumi reached across the scant space between them and pushed lightly. "Not going to go into what I did for you?"

He shrugged and fell back to the couch, now that she wasn't going to let them fumble along. "You kept my family alive until I could do it myself. Even if…"

"Alright." A quick glance to Gai's face showed her he wasn't at all shocked, merely impressed with the amount Ibiki laid out for her. "You're right. I knew you had the temperament for infiltration work, because you're a patient bastard when you want to be. Gai had picture perfect body memory even then, which would've been wasted on a genjutsu specialist judging from the punch he landed on your face that first day. Koichi would never have been satisfied with himself if he never could tell if he got somewhere with his own skills and not by his otou-sama's reputation."

She paused, looking at the both of them in turns.

Ibiki was a hulking mass of still growing muscle, even as a barely sixteen-year-old young man. Gai, who was almost a year younger, had the awkwardly gangly look to him as he adjusted to his new height while looking a bit too thin for comfort. Koichi probably was somewhere between them in height, closer to the infiltrator than the tai user in age, but also probably taller than her.

She had missed the voice cracking, Tsume was in charge of her team for that, and the first experiments with facial hair, because both of them had hasty shaving jobs done before coming to see her. It made her want to pout, because Iwa caused her to miss the teasing she could've gotten in before they were comfortable enough with themselves to brush it off.

Natsumi turned and slumped down between them. "Fine then. Ibiki, tomorrow you're to go to T&I and ask to be trained up as an interrogator. Gai, you're going to need to spend a whole lot of time with other tai users because there are a lot of taijutsu specializing jōnin in the village. You're going to need something to stand out, and with that perfect body memory you could learn enough to be effortlessly exchangeable in combat likely teams while keeping a style solely for yourself."

She hadn't noticed how tense Ibiki had been until she was almost pressed hip to shoulder with him. Gai was as loose as any shinobi in relaxation, but he had enough control over himself to the point she was ignoring his body language because that only showed what Koichi and Ibiki was sure was safe for him to display.

Natsumi wondered, vaguely, what other changes had happened to Koichi in the five months she had been gone for. ANBU would cover that though, making her sure she'd only catch half of any physical signs showing from him growing into himself.

"Interrogator?" The brat, and even if he _was_ taller than Gai he was still her brat, to her left tried aloud, turning to glare at her after a moment. "I could see that. Decided not to stall anymore, sensei?"

"If you're old enough to argue with me, you're old enough to know where you want to go and if I'm right or not." She tiredly rested her head on the back of her couch, flapping a hand at his head. "But I'm going to rub it in and gloat until you kill me if you do figure out something else you want to play with."

Gai, who had been content to leave the confrontation part to his teammate, spoke up after a quiet moment. "So, sensei, what was supposed to happen?"

Natsumi scowled at the ceiling. "Tsume had messages from me, she was supposed to give them to you once Koichi got back. The three of you should've had the time to decide on a method if not actually put it into practice by the time we were supposed to be coming home again."

Ibiki snickered at her.

Smacking him on the shoulder, the jōnin got to her feet and grimly smirked at the two of them. "Now then, since I only just got home… You two are going to run to the market for me."

His eyes widened, but she carried on before he could somehow distract his teammate.

"Gai, if you beat Ibiki back with some meat from the butchers I'll cook you both lunch."

She blinked and only her oldest chūnin was left in the room, glaring at her.

"You know he's not going to forgive you if you don't try, Kakashi-kun's one thing but you're his teammate."

Ibiki gritted his teeth, glaring darkly. "And what am I supposed to get?"

"Why, everything else I'd need for lunch." Natsumi beamed at him as he swore.

When Gai inevitably beat his teammates at something, he begged them to train with him for a few days… because when he worried it was blatantly obvious and fussed with the best of them. Her team had long since stopped trying to get out of it, Gai was a force of nature when he got going.

Especially when the taijutsu user grew concerned, because even Ibiki hadn't hit on a way to derail that just yet.

\V/

On day three of her totally undeserved week of rest, after fending off Minato about what she wanted to do that day, Natsumi wandered to the Hatake clan compound.

"Sakumo has a mission, neko-chan. He was held back a few weeks until you got home, but apparently whatever was keeping him here is finished." Eri informed the eldest of her brood, even if it was only by a technical adoption, as she formally met Midori for the first time since her birth. "Kakashi-kun should be home in a few hours though, and I think he wants to show you something."

"About that jian on the dojo wall?"

"Act surprised when he tells you, please."

"Maybe." Natsumi snickered, picking up the almost-toddler and pressing her nose into the baby's neck.

Eri merely smirked at the sight. After more than ten years married to the Dog Summoner, she knew what that was about.

Natsumi was imprinting any changes in Midori's scent in her memory and marking the baby with her own so any others would know Midori was pack, or rather a pride member given the species involved, to the assassin as well as Sakumo's daughter and Kakashi's sibling. It was half protection and half comfort, because Midori would be able to sniff herself to pick up the scent of her pack members and any others who could scent the same thing would know who they would be pissing off if anything happened to her.

Natsumi had done the same thing for Kakashi's baby years, and had sometimes been the one to calm him down when he started whining for his missing father.

Given her husband had a hand in raising the young woman, Eri wasn't surprised a few other things carried over along with the kenjutsu skills she had been formally learning. She sometimes wondered, when Natsumi did a few things familiar to her but strange to anyone that didn't know what was going on or wasn't an Inuzuka clan member, which species she was mimicking. She had been the Dog Summoner's pack member long before becoming the Leopard Summoner, and started behaving in a distinctly more animalistic manner than she had before.

Instead of staring at this strange new person like most babies would do Midori returned the favor, pressing her cheek to the jōnin's other shoulder where she probably smelled her father's scent. Accepting that this was another pack mate, and due to the consideration that carried with it.

Knowing what she did, Eri expected the next item of business was introducing the Leopards to her youngest.

"We're going to the yard, Eri-kaa-san. I'll bring her back in a bit."

She smirked, sipping at the tea she made for Natsumi's visit.

At least her husband and oldest daughter had learned to stop Summoning in the house, the scorch marks were a pain to clean up.

(ooo000ooo)

Kenta had taken one look at the baby in her hands, then dismissed himself. Probably half to escape the situation for a few more moments, and to alert Ling-Ling about the meet and greet with the silver haired kitten.

Natsumi introduced Tsuyoshi to Midori first, her battle cat awkwardly trying to not scare the half a year old girl with his size or speed as he tried to carefully mince his way forward.

The girl was a Hatake though, she giggled and grasped the Leopard's whiskers protruding from his muzzle as she patted him.

Then yanked.

Jin gave a stifled sort of cough, swinging his spotted head around so he wouldn't start laughing. Tsuyoshi was a very big cat, after all, and had some deceptive speed for such a powerful bulk. Despite how funny some of the sounds he was making were, snickering might not be in Jin's best interest.

Leaving Midori to her two Leopards, Natsumi preformed her Summoning again and got the other three.

Kenta resignedly slunk over to place the assassin between him and the baby, keenly recalling what Kakashi had done to him in that first meeting, and Akira followed her father in confusion. Ling-Ling ignored all of them and cheerfully, for her, padded to Midori's side as she experimented what happened when she pulled this or that whisker.

After watching the baby girl torture her battle Summons, the Seal-Keeper calmly flicked her tail in just the right way to attract Midori's attention and invite her to play with it.

" _Another_ one?" Kenta grumbled as he kept a sharp eye on the baby, ensuring he would have time to bolt if she started wandering over to them. "Do the Dogs know about this?"

"I'm pretty sure taicho introduced them already." Natsumi informed the scout, pretending there wasn't a smirk on her face as Tsuyoshi barely managed a staggering retreat to where Jin was. "Don't you want to meet her? She's a very pretty baby girl, our Midori-chan."

"The kitten's fur is shiny." Akira chimed in helpfully, blinking when he father only glared some more.

"Shiny fur, but little _demons_ in temperament."

"Didn't I apologize for that already?"

"You did, Kashi-chan, but Kenta likes to nurse grudges." The assassin grinned over her shoulder, especially when Kenta dove under her legs and the porch she was sitting on. Probably wishing he could dismiss himself without her heckling him for the rest of his natural life for running from demonically tempered kittens.

Kenta had no problem with fully, or even only half, grown humans; but he dreaded the cubs with every fiber of his being. Not entirely because Kakashi, Itachi, and Naomi had all pulled his tail within moments of meeting him. Hana had better manners with ninja animals, and Tenzou had been old enough to appreciate the claws and teeth.

Kakashi had also ambushed him and cut some of his whiskers out of curiosity once, because by the time she got the Leopards he had been almost three years of age and curious enough to do any feline proud. The poor cat had spent weeks stumbling into things before they grew back.

Tenzou had eyed him with the same curiosity the last time Natsumi needed another pair of eyes for emergency babysitting, and Kenta declared that he would meet young humans only once before leaving the rest to the others.

She was leaning to dumping baby duties on Tsuyoshi. He needed the experience dealing with humans, since he mostly saw the human world in the middle of a battle.

Kakashi ambled over, wearing a chūnin vest, his now customary half-face mask, and looking much like a pint-sized version of a lazy and perverted jōnin she once knew about. He scratched Akira behind her ears before taking a seat next to the assassin, watching his younger sister play with one of her Leopards. "All of them? Do you have the chakra to support that?"

"Not for very long." Natsumi informed him regretfully, ignoring Kenta's relieved sigh. "Jin and Kenta will probably dismiss themselves in a few, though. What's up? Eri-kaa-san wasn't expecting you back for another few hours."

The twelve-year-old sniffed dismissively as he tugged his mask down off his face now that he was home and not liable to get a face full of strange scents. "Sensei wanted written reports from us, for the time you two were gone for, because Obito-san still can't write one well enough for him. Rin-san and I were dismissed for the day while Minato-sensei works on that with him."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Are you and Obito-kun _still_ having problems?"

She automatically tuned out his grumblings.

Poor Minato, having to deal with that before even getting back to active duty. Well, if she had to deal with two of hers the very day after getting home, he could deal with two genin and a chūnin after two days of rest.

"You do recall what Tsume and Shibi's relationship was like once, right? I'm pretty sure I told you that story."

Kakashi gave her a narrow eyed glare. "And I'm pretty sure you were bullshitting me, Natsu-nee. You never see Shibi-sama without Tsume-san somewhere nearby."

Sure you couldn't, _now_.

Those two clan heads were now known to track anything that came their way. With Kuromaru and the kikachu between them, as well as their own human intelligence, that pair of trackers could go anywhere and pick up anything Konoha needed them to. The destruction beetles tracked with single-minded intensity of their species that even canines might have issue doing when the trail got cold or went through dangerous territory, the ninja dog could pick up any deviations the insects might ignore unintentionally in their hive minded ways, and between the two of them Tsume and Shibi could extrapolate and anticipate anything that might come up while tracking.

Team Eight in the next generation had been built along that formula. Inuzuka Kiba with Akamaru and Aburame Shino to follow their parents' footsteps, Hyūga Hinata for extra melee support in case heavy combat caused either of them to lose the trail for whatever reason.

A byakugan user, an Inuzuka combo, and an Aburame on the _same_ tracking team? Thy name is overkill.

Though, it was probably an attempt to make something as solid as the Shika-Ino-Chou trio formation by those clans… or it might have been, but she didn't think it solidified well enough to be used like that.

Naras didn't get the urge to argue, nearly at all; Yamanakas knew too much of how the human mind worked to be trapped by anything they didn't like; and Akimichis were just that solid of temperament to not work with who they were given. A trio of ninja from each clan wouldn't have any issues with each other, even if you discounted the bonds between those clans. Shikaku merely worked that up to another level, to the point his Intelligence team had never missed taking down a target they were sent after.

"Ask one of them about it and they'll tell you the same thing I did. They were stuck together until they worked it out, you and your teammate will be sentenced to the same damn thing if you can't get over whatever it is enough to pass muster." She reached over and yanked one of his silver spikes, just because she could. "Can't you think of _anything_ Obito-kun might be good for?"

He growled at her, subsiding when about five growls echoed back to him from feline throats. Instead of picking a fight so he didn't have to and probably wouldn't win, the little genius huffed and actually put his big brain to work.

While he was doing that, Natsumi watched Jin coax Kenta in sneaking over and getting Midori's scent so the two of them could go. Ling-Ling graciously kept the baby's attention solely on her, engaging the smallest Hatake in a mock fight with that spotted tail she was so fascinated by. Akira didn't seem interested in either approaching Midori or leaving her Summoner's side while Tsuyoshi had gotten the baby's scent but didn't seem to have decided to go or not yet.

By the time Kenta could escape, without looking like he was running for the sake of his whiskers, Tsuyoshi figured he may as well go too. Akira finally slinked over to greet Midori, because it didn't seem Ling-Ling was at all interested in leaving this new kitten's side.

Natsumi left the two female Leopard to it, turning to watch Kakashi be a little dick about this just because he could. He could probably see where Obito fit on his team, he had spent more than enough time with her learning how and why people did things to counter some of that social awkwardness his genius left in its wake. Kakashi could be a stubborn asshole when he wanted to be, and probably didn't like the manipulative maneuvering going on with genin team builds.

The hazards of working with geniuses. They understood perfectly well without ever needing to be told, getting them to work with it was another matter entirely.

He probably knew Obito was set with him to become his second, his favored mission partner. Between Kakashi's brilliant mind and Obito's sharingan, they wouldn't need a fraction of the time most shinobi needed to reverse engineer any jutsu the Uchiha caught and would probably have the ability in a few years to do it all in the field. Additionally, with Kakashi's logical approach to problems and Obito's natural creativity, they should have between them enough brains to effortlessly handle the stranger missions Konohagakure got. Rin, a stabilizing presence as well as a medic-nin and given an in with the two of them to ensure their health later on, would probably end up specializing in chakra injuries and deviations with the experience she would get on Team Seven. Minato had gotten cast as the wise man, with his inherent understanding of chakra and how it worked, someone all three of them could go to for a different view on any trouble they ran into.

The day she thought why that Team Seven was structured as it had had been, and assigned the other two just like they had been once before, had surprised her.

On the other hand… _ninja_.

Everything they did had a couple reasons behind it or you weren't looking hard enough.

She might be thinking too much about it, but…

Kakashi knew, she knew he knew. In that other story, he had taken his teammate's last gift and done it all alone. To the point even the Uchiha clan's worst snobs couldn't claim he wasn't using Obito's eye to its fullest capability. Probably in repentance for never giving Obito and himself the chance to be that team. Then he threw himself into ANBU, because they had reams of rules and regulations and the missions they took on weren't the sort that could have structured mission plans for them. Forcing him to get that creative thinking ability his teammate once had instinctively or die trying.

The two boys of Team Seven might even go ANBU this time around too. Rin may or may not follow them, but if she didn't Natsumi would hint at her pseudo little brother to pick up Mouse if he could.

Maybe Naomi would be old enough.

She had two more years until that disastrous mission, and-

 _Wait_.

Natsumi blinked at Kakashi. "You _are_ twelve, right? I didn't miscount or something?"

He gave her a disgusted glare. "Yes, nee-chan. I'm twelve. Did you forget the date again?"

"Well, with how you act… I thought maybe we misplaced thirty or so of them somewhere, old man." She shrugged idly, noting that Akira was gone as well leaving Midori with an enchanted Ling-Ling. "Besides, Shikaku keeps track of the date. I don't need to do it."

Hunching his shoulders, and giving her his nastiest glower he could, he kicked her lightly in the calf. "And when Shikaku-sama's not here to keep track of time?"

"Minato does it."

"How you can live like that is beyond me." Kakashi informed archly her, rolling his eyes at her small time keeping issue.

She never did like keeping track of the years she lived through, not since she realized she had seventy more before her than she should have after getting killed. "I keep track of the important things. Your birthday, Midori-chan's birthday, taicho's and Eri-kaa-san's. Minato's, Shikaku's, my teams', Inoichi's, and sensei's too. But Shika keeps track of Chouza's, I don't think I ever noted what day that fell on. And the kunoichi I'm friends with all make it a point to inform me of theirs and their spouses' a few days ahead of time, so I don't really keep track of them anymore because they're used to my lacking sense of time."

Natsumi paused and ran that through her head again.

"The rest of the time I deal in days or weeks, not dates. So it's not important for me to know what date it is." She nodded firmly, watching as her Leopard rolled over and allowed Midori to figure out how to reposition herself to account for that. "Besides, if I don't deal with the academy for a week no one ever remembers to remind me what day it is."

He stared at her blankly for a moment. "You are weird."

"Didn't you want to try for my jian today?" Natsumi asked instead of answering that challenge, as it was pretty much true and she didn't feel like lying.

Kakashi tried not to show his start of surprise, but he was twelve against a kunoichi alive for longer than any one of the sannin. "…otou-sama said I had to formally ask for permission to wield your sword, nee-chan."

She turned to look him in the eye. "So?"

He hefted a loudly disgusted sigh, resignedly turning in place and sitting in seiza position before her. Then he bowed his head stiffly. "Natsu-nee-chan, may I use Kusanagi?"

Grinning, a little proud and slightly evil, Natsumi just tilted her head to the side. "You think you're good enough for it?"

"Yes."

"Prove it."

Kakashi sat ramrod straight, blinking and gaping at her in horror.

Her grin widened.

He looked _so_ disappointed in her as he reluctantly got to his feet, she had to laugh.

While Kakashi left to ask his mother if he could invite his team over for dinner, Natsumi started thinking of what occurred to her a little while before.

Kakashi was twelve… and in that story in her head the mission that ended Obito's time as a Konoha ninja happened when he was fourteen.

Had they ended the fighting too early? There was still however long between the night siege/routed ambush of Iwa's gates and when that Hidden Village finally gave up continuing the war, when surprise attacks and sleights of the hand might still kill whoever was out there in Earth. During that time, there was also the risk that Kiri or Kumo might decide to run an eleventh hour interference and attempt to free Iwa from their perilous position by sneaking in and wiping out the Suna-Konoha forces occupying Iwa's gates… or draw enough of Konoha's forces away from Earth and to their own borders so Iwa could attempt to destroy Suna.

The war wasn't over yet, but it was the diplomat's turn to duke it out for their villages while the rest of them attempted to keep the situation from changing on them.

It wasn't very likely, but stranger things had happened.

Relations with Kumo would also be icy, with that bottleneck and the Shika-Ino-Chou team lurking within their borders.

Kirigakure no Sato was… apparently committing mass suicide on the land bound border posts between Fire and Water. Why, no one knew.

It was even baffling Natsumi, who guessed gingerly that the Yondaime Mizukage was even more mad than she had thought. The weak forces were ill lead and badly equipped, to the point a few were taken hostage and interrogated as to why they were doing it. From all reports they claimed and swore they were sent out to destroy Konoha, and they were to rabid to even get much more out of even after a few weeks of decent food and rest to tempt them.

She wondered how long until that blue shark guy blew out of there with the force of her best exploding seals. Zabuza would follow, either immediately or as little as a year or two later, pick up that ice kekkai genkai user and...

 _That_ was where she knew a Gato from Wave.

Huh… well, she would go check on that in a few days. Mouse should know, she was assigned to that mission.

There wasn't a reason to let it get that bad, and she could use the war's end in a few years to go kill the ass before Naruto ran into it. An A-rank as a genin was stupidly suicidal, and Minato might never forgive her for that if it happened that way again.

Especially if she knew about the situation long before it happened.

Although… Team Seven was, well… cursed. Their first C-rank would either go strange or get upped to a B-rank, it always happened.

Minato refused to look at her that week after his team's first C-rank. Tsunade and Kushina paid her fifty ryo, each. Natsumi spent that whole week snickering until even Shikaku was exasperated with her.

Jiraiya had just snorted at them, while Inoichi pretended he didn't know what they were talking about.

Between the spy that decided to go rogue and create his own mini empire of yakuza and tried to, however ineptly, assassinate the Toad Sage, which had happened on Natsumi's first official C-rank under Jiraiya; to the bandit problem that ended up being a whole kekkai genkai clan that dwelled solely underground because even a breeze was lethal to them, which was Minato's team's first C-rank; Team Seven was unofficially cursed.

That kind of strange stupidity was only something _they_ had to deal with on their first mission out of the village.

(ooo000ooo)

Obito knew something was up.

Kakashi wasn't exactly socially inept, but he didn't do jack unless he had a reason for it.

Just before he, sensei, and Rin reached the Hatake clan compound the Uchiha tugged on Minato's sleeve. "What's going on, sensei?"

"Natsumi's being sly, I think." Their jōnin-sensei sounded fondly resigned as he pressed a hand to Obito's back to keep him moving. "We'll get to see something the Hatake clan doesn't usually display for outsiders if I'm right."

Rin, curious as she was, turned to them and started walking backwards. "What is it?"

Minato rolled his blue eyes at them both. "Why not wait and see?"

"That might be best." The new voice had both genin turning to see who it was, and the civilian woman who had just opened the Hatake clan's gates smiled at them. "Hello again, Minato-kun."

Team Seven's sensei blushed lightly and rubbed the back of his head as he grinned at the woman. "Eri-san. The dojo?"

The Hatake Matriarch, Kakashi's mom, merely nodded gracefully and allowed them into her clan's compound. "Dinner is in half an hour, remind them for me please."

Once the incomplete team passed her and got mostly out of hearing range, Rin turned back to their jōnin-sensei with a wide grin. "Minato- _kun_ , sensei?"

"Well… she knew me as a chūnin. I was about your age then, too."

Obito pulled a face. He was _thirteen_ , and his younger teammate was higher ranking. No one in his clan seemed to want that fact of life to pass him by.

Then he spotted the cat, and every thought of ranks and clans fled his head.

There was a massive feline in the yard, playing with a baby with silver hair.

Confused, as he was sure the Hatake clan all Summoned Dogs and that was a _big cat_ , Obito turned to ask a question about it but Minato was already talking.

"Ling-Ling? I thought you didn't like being Summoned."

"Minato-san. I don't, but when Kenta told me a kitten was involved this time I allowed it." The Leopard, and he realized what kind of cat she was by the spots she had and what Summons Contracts he knew were within the village, nodded imperiously at the jōnin shinobi. "Natsumi-sama is within with Kakashi-san, waiting on you."

Rin seemed to know who they were talking about, grinning like she had when Tsunade-sama had been introduced to the team.

The baby, and that had to be Midori-chan, perked up at the new voice and peered over the big cat's back at the new people. She firmly remained with the Leopard though, grasping onto the flicking tail as she watched them.

Instead of asking his question, like he dearly wanted to because that cat could probably fit Midori-chan's head in her mouth and _how was a civilian comfortable with that_ , Obito wrenched his mind back to what they were there for. "So what is going on?"

"Shut up and you'll find out." Kakashi bit out sourly as he appeared from nowhere.

"Kakashi-kun."

Their jōnin-sensei's warning tone made the silver haired prodigy grimace.

Obito belatedly realized he could see his teammate's face and gaped.

Rin was already staring.

Minato-sensei rolled his eyes up to the sky, from what he could see out of the corner of his goggles.

Kakashi withstood it for a bare moment, turning sharply away from them and heading to the building behind his house. "Come on… we should get started."

The Hatake clan dojo wasn't much different from any of the Uchiha clan dojos Obito had seen, maybe a bit nicer and with some interestingly displayed swords on the walls. As he took off his sandals his attention was snagged by the one full length katana set on a rack, its bluish-silver blade up and the sheath set underneath it.

Then he noticed the shorter sword next to that.

Obito knew that sword, there wasn't many who hadn't ever looked into kenjutsu as a ninja art who wouldn't know that sword.

How the _Sword of Kusanagi_ got here, when the last reports about it was that _Orochimaru_ tried to use it to escape when he went rogue, was beyond him.

"His situational awareness kinda sucks, kouhai. Might want to work on that."

There was a kunoichi standing in the dojo next to Kakashi… who had his face cradled in his hands and a bit of redness peeking out between his fingers.

Minato was very carefully not looking at her or Obito as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I'm working on it, sempai."

The kunoichi blinked very innocently at Team Seven's jōnin-sensei. "I could help."

"You'd kill him in five minutes, or turn him into a monster, with your methods. No."

She grinned evilly, and the Uchiha spent a panicked moment blessing his sensei. He didn't want to know.

"My team turned out well."

"Your team is either all insane or surly bastards." Minato calmly informed her, causing all three of his students to look at him in surprise. Their sensei didn't swear, it was almost a law of the universe.

She shrugged easily. "You say that like it matters. They kick ass, and you know it."

"You have Gai-kun on your team, which should explain enough about your methods."

Obito blanched at that turn in the conversation. He knew Gai and his team, the chūnin came around every so often to harass Kakashi into ridiculous challenges. Sometimes with the rest of his team and mostly just alone. The older chūnin was still sporting a bowl cut from the last round of competitions. This kunoichi trained _him?_

"Natsu-nee-chan, _please_. Stop it already."

There was the last link Obito needed, shell-shocked by events as he was. The kunoichi was Nara Natsumi, the Nara clan head's wife, Leopard Summoner, leader of cell Nine, and kenjutsu mistress.

Natsumi shrugged one more time. "Alright, but my last point stands, kouhai. You turned out well."

Minato rolled his eyes at her. "And that might be the only claim to fame for your teaching methods. I'm still holding out on Komushi-san, if he ever blows up I'm never letting you forget it."

She scoffed, wandering to a chest against the far wall. Kakashi motioned for his teammates to join their jōnin-sensei against the wall as he followed her.

Minato sunk to a sitting position as Obito and Rin joined him.

"Sensei?" Rin inquired softly as she sat, looking between the kunoichi and their own team leader. "Why do you call her sempai?"

"She… pretty much raised me when we were kids." He informed them softly. "Admittedly, we were both orphans, but she was the one to help me figure out how to survive alone without Jiraiya-sensei."

Obito chewed on that as the two of them on the far side of the dojo got into an argument about something. "What is going on? No one told us anything and we're already here."

Minato sighed heavily at his question. "You see that shiny sword you were so distracted by?"

Blushing, the Uchiha glanced at the Legendary Grass-Cutter. "Yeah?"

"Kakashi-kun's attempting to get permission to use that for himself. But he has to prove he knows how to use a jian without the all cutting feature of that sword."

Obito blinked, looked at the sword and his sensei again. "What?"

The jōnin stared at him sternly. "Kakashi-kun's going to spar with Natsumi-sempai. Him using a jian and her using a full katana. If he wins whatever condition she sets for him, he gets the sword."

Oh… wait, _what?_

" _Natsumi-sama_ owns the Sword of Kusanagi?"

Minato blinked, frowning faintly as he thought about that. "Yes, but don't spread that about."

Obito nodded woodenly and turned to watch the spar's initial setup. Well, now he knew that Natsumi was more than any simple clan jōnin. She had crossed blades with a murderous sannin and won.

Now Kakashi was going to try to fight her for the rights to that sword she more than likely won from said sannin.

That was… pretty awesome. If his teammate won, anyways.

(ooo000ooo)

"First blood." Natsumi informed the silver haired brat as she slid in place.

Kakashi started, lowering his jian momentarily. "What! Nee-chan-"

"No, you want my sword you have to prove you know what you're doing. That isn't a normal blade, Kakashi-kun, that sword can lop off a limb easily if you don't watch it carefully."

He hesitated, but brought his practice sword's tip up and accepted that.

There was a pause, as they measured each other and how well they grasped their respective weapons, then Natsumi attempted to perforate his chest.

Kakashi slipped out of the way, swinging his steel up to remove her katana from his path then diagonally to hopefully score a hit on her chest.

Brat, taking advantage of her gender.

She twisted instead, spinning around his blade and bringing her sword down to split his head.

He wasn't there anymore, using her brief moment of being turned around to slide the other way than she expected and lunged for her side.

Dropping to the floor in a split, Natsumi let it pass over her and reversed her blade's momentum to follow the path his sword took only split seconds ago.

Kakashi leaned out of the way, bringing down his jian to stab her left thigh.

Sweeping the leg out of the way, and ignoring the flip he did to avoid her taking out his feet, she rolled up to a standing position again.

Now on opposite sides of the dojo from where they started, they both heard the softly spoken swearword.

Natsumi cracked a smirk, Kakashi pretended he didn't hear Obito's admiration.

Instead his grey eyes narrowed on her, as he realized what she had been after in making him do this.

The Uchiha would realize why he was so hung up on perfection, and probably give him a little more slack for it when he got in a mood. Because any way you looked at it, a spar between kenjutsu users was an impressive thing to watch when you could. That perfection was _needed_ in order to not kill your sparring partner.

Minato's equally soft chuckle informed the both of them that he knew and had allowed it.

Kakashi took that annoyance and channeled it into the spar, setting off the next series of swipes with an almost perfect mimicry of her initial lunge.

Natsumi, instead of copying his first movement, slid her sword in the way and guided his lunge off center. Giving a viper fast swipe at his hand before he could recover.

He lurched upward in response, then moved sideways since she was still in range and attempted to cut her head off.

Bending backwards just enough to let the tip pass by, she flicked her sword at his right leg.

Kakashi had to use his blade to turn it away.

While he was distracted by that, she pulled up before he could connect and sliced a good few inches of his shirt sleeve.

He jumped backwards, checking to see if that disqualified him or not.

Shaking out his right arm, he scowled at her. "I'm still good."

"Little distracted, though?"

Kakashi spared a glare for Obito, who looked very apologetic. "I'll be better, nee-chan."

She hummed instead of replying to that, settling back to her ready position. "Come on then, you're not any closer to that blade over there."

Instead of falling for it like he had when Obito annoyed him, he took a deep breath first and cleared the heated aggravation from his face.

Then he lunged again, this time jumping before she could connect with the jian and bringing down the blade in a double handed strike at her head.

Natsumi let him pass her, swinging her katana around in a backwards swipe before he hit the tatami.

He spun and used her back to push himself down faster, allowing it to pass over his head then stabbing at her ass.

She shifted out of the way, but it was now her left side to him and her sword was still in her right and behind her.

Kakashi pulled the sword to her back, but she back flipped over that to reposition.

Then had only moments to get her sword up and avoid the point going for her eye.

She had to fall out of the way, when he managed enough control to evade her attempt to redirect him.

Swiping out with her blade only got her enough room to roll up to her knees, she had to bodily spin them both around and almost throw him away to get back to her feet.

"Almost had you."

"There's a world of difference between _almost_ and _did_ , Kashi-chan," she mocked scowled at him "and stop trying for my left side already."

"It's weaker than your right." He smugly reminded her, sliding a bit more to put her on said left. "No reason to not use that if I can."

"I'll be more impressed if you hit my right."

Kakashi hesitated, giving her an opening to duck and lunge low.

He skipped over that, driving the point of his blade down.

Pulling up short by careful use of chakra control, she swung for his head instead.

Interposing the jian between her blade and himself, Kakashi braced it with his offhand to the top half and let her hit full on.

A full grown jōnin kunoichi's strength against a twelve year old chūnin shinobi, genius or not, was no contest.

He used that force to fall back a few good feet, swinging out his probably tingling if not numb arms.

"Cheater."

"No reason not to use that if I can." She threw his words back at him cheerfully.

He checked the blade he held, ensuring it wasn't bent oddly from that hit, then brought it up again.

Natsumi tried not to, but there was a slight kink in the metal that had formerly been straight and she had to grin.

Distracted or not, she didn't miss Kakashi starting that exchange either.

He slid forward while her eyes were on his blade, flicking it out to her right arm when he judge himself close enough.

Maneuvering her blade around his, she attempted a sideways slice to his stomach.

Instead of backing off he spun away from the katana and closer to her, attempting a backwards impale.

Sliding in the opposite direction she attempted to score a line across his shoulder.

He slid the same way, evading the edge by a hairsbreadth and viciously ripping the jian out to her stomach.

Natsumi bent in half, backwards, swinging up when her back hit the floor.

He sidestepped it, so she just pushed him away with her offhand before he could attempt another jab.

Rolling with the force, he turned it around and stabbed at her neck.

Natsumi had to roll away, flicking her braid out of the way or that would pin her down.

Her hair distracted him enough she snuck in a flick to the side of his face.

Kakashi recovered faster than she expected, jerking away even as the jian swung up again.

The young Hatake shinobi nicked her cheek.

Natsumi paused, he stared, and after a quiet moment Minato coughed.

There was still blood running down the right side of her face.

Sighing, the kunoichi rose to her feet. "Fine. All yours, Kakashi-kun."

The poor kid gaped at her, probably thrown by scoring a hit on his sister figure. Torn between pride for being good enough and horror for making her bleed.

"But… that was a lucky hit!"

Natsumi blinked at the genius, then shrugged.

"Luck is as much of a fight as skill, Kashi-chan."

Oddly, he whipped his head around to stare at his sensei. Which, Natsumi noted distantly, his teammates were doing as well.

Minato shrugged at them. "Who do you think I learned that from?"

Confused, she looked between the students and teacher. Then she snickered as she recalled the last time she told her older little brother that.

"I told him that when he won against me in our chūnin exam."

Rin looked suitably impressed, and Obito shook his head with a whistle.

"If you lot are done," Eri spoke up from the entranceway, "dinner is ready."

She gave her son a proud smile as she turned away, one that caused Kakashi to flush again.

The klutzy Uchiha threw an arm over his teammate's shoulders and thumped him a few times. "That was still impressive, Kakashi-san."

Still a little shocked, Kakashi responded absently. "Thanks."

Then they both realized who they were talking to, and stiffly broke apart.

Natsumi, very carefully, did not grin dementedly at Minato like she wanted. He, just as carefully, didn't give her an annoyed look for it all.


	18. Change of Plans, Part Two

_Or rather, behold the Wrath of Ninja Women Scorned._

* * *

The fourth day back from Earth, Natsumi took the seals she had found after that ambush to Minato and Kushina's home.

Once it was a socially acceptable hour to be up and bugging good friends.

She really hated being alone, and without Shikaku there her house was just that. A house, not her home.

Kushina looked amused at her, though, and let her in the door. Ignoring the fact she was still in a yukata and not really dressed for company.

Minato, in pajama bottoms and halfway through breakfast in the kitchen, didn't even have the grace to look surprised. "I was kinda wondering when you would start chafing, sempai."

Maybe it wasn't a socially acceptable hour, close enough worked for her.

Setting the sealing scroll with her stolen seals on the table, Natsumi merely shrugged and took a seat. "I absolutely _hate_ having nothing to do. If I'm going to have vacation time, the people in charge should at least see to it there's something to occupy my mind with. Otherwise, this is just torture."

"Wow, Natsumi. Just wow." The redhead firecracker brought the assassin a cup of tea anyways, a small little smile on her face. "Someone should've warned me that dating Minato included odd hours entertaining his so called nee-chan when she's bored."

"You know you love me, hime."

"Isn't that my line?" Minato popped the last bite of rice and omelet in his mouth before Kushina could threaten his food, swiftly stacking his dishes to clear the table for them. "What do you got anyways, sempai?"

"A few that look to be Iwagakure standard, so there might not be a whole lot of change there. But," Natsumi sorted the outpour of seals, setting the water themed sets to the side, "some of Komushi's, which we really should send back with notations after picking apart. It'll make him exasperated with us, and that's always funny."

Kushina grinned brightly as she caught sight of the barrier that gave ANBU the breathing room to secure the medics, since Komushi's development in barriers was due to her work with him. "Awesome, give."

The blond rolled his eyes at both of them. "I've got a few hours, why not."

They spent a lazy morning together, picking apart the seals and what they were designed to do. Double checking that Iwa didn't still have any decent fūinjutsu users, because that was part of their responsibilities as fūinjutsu masters of Konohagakure no Sato however much the hime refused to allow herself that title, and dissecting Komushi's progress in their art because they had all taught him at least a little.

Curiosity may be the official story of what killed the cat, but Natsumi was sure a ninja knifed the poor thing in the back when no one was looking.

"Doton development, this was a _wickedly_ good idea." Kushina gushed, spreading the seal she had snatched from the pile and left for last. Komushi's barrier. "And magnetic, how the _hell_ did he dream that up?"

Natsumi blinked a few times, since she had kept to Iwa standard to ensure her student was developing impressively on his own and it wasn't just her looking for something not there. "The Sandaime Kazekage has a Magnetic Release, doesn't he?"

"Quite probably where he started thinking about it." Minato agreed after a moment, looking over the Uzumaki's shoulder to see the seal. "But that's rather… interesting…"

Natsumi rolled her eyes, they lost Minato.

"Isn't' it? I so proud of him, and he's not even my student."

The assassin blinked. Kushina too?

Her kouhai, S-ranked threat and terror of Iwagakure, bent over to see the seal more clearly, caging the hime in his arms as he peered at this and that. Looking more like a bookish scribe, bare chest aside, than a jōnin shinobi who could kill someone faster than the eye could track.

Then the redhead snapped out of her fugue, realizing where she was and what was going on. Squeaking slightly and blushing, she shot a look at the ANBU captain.

…who wasn't there anymore.

Natsumi quietly shut the front door behind her, torn between exasperation and fond amusement.

Now she needed something else to occupy her time with.

(ooo000ooo)

She went to the academy next… then she spent her afternoon bitching out most of the academy sensei.

Elders Shimura and Mitokado were _not_ in charge of the academy, Natsumi was. No, they would not be doing a half-assed half a year of guidance instead of a full third year of instruction for the trainees. The next time those two crinkly assed shinobi felt themselves up enough to try messing with her school again, they were to be sent to the Nara clan since the academy chūnin didn't have the balls to deal with them.

Ryoko had the air of smug righteousness for the rest of the day, the assassin didn't want to know. Hiruki, Natsumi's old academy-sensei and who seemed rather close to her ex-ANBU squad medic, just smirked at all the other chūnin running around since the ANBU captain put her foot down.

There were three Nara chūnin in the academy now, somehow, who all simply gave off the feel of ' _you deserved it_ ' when she saw them deal with the other instructors.

Those few and a handful of others hadn't agreed with the rest of the academy-sensei about changing the third year, knowing the Nara Lady as they did and what she was probably going to do when she found out. They were also the only ones to be not chewed up one side and down the other for it as well.

Natsumi was a little confused by that but what worked, worked.

At least the Nara chūnin were all good for brief moments of pure sanity, not occasional moments of stupidity like most the others.

Getting the academy set to rights, again, took up another few hours of her day. Then Minato caught up just as she was leaving half her instructors to an all-nighter planning session so they weren't caught flat footed for the last half of the third year.

"So," he coughed and awkwardly shoved the sealing scroll she had left in his home in her hands, "I'm really sorry about this morning, sempai."

"Mmhmm, sure you are. There aren't, you know, unidentifiable stains on these are there? Because I can't send Komushi body fluid contaminated seals, kouhai. That's bad for village relations. Suna's an _ally_."

Minato pinched the bridge of his nose, staunchly ignoring the flush rising up his face. "No, sempai."

She graciously ignored his full body shudder. Natsumi was such a thoughtful sister, yes she was.

He took a rather deep breath, letting it go and giving her a stern look. "Really, though. Sorry about that."

"It's fine. You and the hime have your own home, and what goes on inside of that is something every guest has to brave when they visit you two."

Minato looked like he wanted to add something, but kept quiet after a moment more. He did keep following her home, so she assumed he had something else he wanted to speak with her about.

Once behind Natsumi's formidable seal work, whatever had been keeping him silent blew up like a faulty seal.

"But it's really not fair to you! You can't come over to visit very often, we shouldn't make you feel like leaving is the best option."

Her brain stalled, because she had been halfway to that scroll to see what Kushina and Minato had finished up after their moment. "What?"

"You visit us and the others when you want someone around, especially when Shikaku's gone. And I'm pretty much your favorite, so you spend more time with me when you need someone nearby." He shoved a hand through his hair, looking rather distressed. "We shouldn't be chasing you out, sempai."

Oh.

Natsumi spent a whole, strange, wonderful moment being exasperatedly in love with her fair haired brother. Then she got _annoyed_ with him.

"Minato, seriously. It's fine."

She bopped him on the nose with her scroll when it looked like he would argue even more, jabbing the stiff paper into his chest to add to her points.

"I have others, you idiot. I could go see any of the Hatake clan, Tsume and my goddaughter, the Uchiha couple, snag Hizashi when he's home for tea, Shibi because I really do need to give him that crib, or even kick around the clan compounds I'm well known in. The academy, ANBU, and the Uchiha research group all help as well. I could pop into T&I if I urgently need something to do, Ibiki should be there. I _knew_ , when I set up your genin team, that I would have less time with you until they got their act together. If I really, _desperately_ needed you to keep my cracked sanity in one piece, I wouldn't have done that. I'm an inherently selfish person, kouhai, I don't like to share."

Minato rubbed his abused facial feature, giving her a wounded look over his hand.

"And yeah, I love going to visit you. But that was obviously something that would happen less often when you and the hime got together. So I adore it even more, when we can fit in a visit here or there."

He dropped his arms, looking rather mollified, and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Still…"

"No. I'm not allowing you to feel guilty for having a life outside me. I have one, you deserve one." Natsumi huffed, giving him the evil eye to ensure that topic was closed. "Are you staying for dinner? If you are, go grab the hime. It's just unusual when the two of you aren't joined at the hips."

Flashing her a half-embarrassed, half-amused grin, Minato did just that.

Natsumi gave it fifteen seconds until he was back with the Uzumaki Princess in tow, and resigned herself to explaining it all again when Kushina meekly apologized for that morning as well.

The two of them were idiots. They _definitely_ deserved each other.

\V/

Day five, Natsumi went to go bug the Uchiha couple.

Fugaku was in the clan's library, researching something or another. Itachi was with him, looking fascinated with the book on genjutsu his father had probably absentmindedly handed him. Mikoto smiled softly when the assassin let herself in quietly, occupied with a few Yin release manuals of her own.

Right, she still had to arrange that lesson with the Matron of the clan.

Well, something else to do to.

What amused her about the Uchiha clan library was that there was always a few handfuls of ninja in it, usually brushing up on jutsu theory or some component of chakra formation.

The Uchiha clan had started their interest in scientific ninja study in almost self-defense against their clan head, who had a habit of lecturing sternly when misconceptions about jutsu uses or chakra elements came out of his clan members' mouths… which was equally as often as he quoted rule and regulations in police work to those caught slacking off. Then the elders joined in, just so someone could keep up with the man when he really got going and they were the only ones with the time to do it in.

Orochimaru had started it though, however twisted the man had turned out he had been a genius of his own, and Fugaku was a testament to that directed scientific know-how.

Natsumi got in a chair across from the table the clan head was occupying, grinning at the Uchiha clan head until the man finally put down what he was reading and pinned her with a flat look.

"So… when _is_ your clan announcing they've swallowed the R &D building whole, and are in the process of regurgitating the staff as carbon copy Uchiha clansmen? I do have to protest on behalf of the Nara clansmen there already, you know. I'll get hissy if they end up uptight katon jutsu snobs."

There had been about five clan elders in range to hear her, Natsumi had ensured it before sitting down.

The faint sounds of paper being turned or rolled, the wet sounds of ink, even the faint few coughs and sneezes all died a sudden death when the Uchiha in range of her processed what she had just said.

It was almost as if the whole building was holding its breath.

"Cause, you know, we're all waiting for it. You practically have a kami given right to the building, with those red eyes of yours." The ANBU captain nodded importantly at the expressionless shinobi across from her. "And no one's going to think to _ask_ you to do it, because there seems to be an abhorrence with asking permission in this village. The Yamanakas all did that stealthy takeover of T &I years ago. No word given, just suddenly there the next day and the efficiency of that place took off like a cat after a mouse. The Inuzukas, Hyūgas, and the Aburames all took over the Hunter-nin Division, unofficially of course. But you can't take three steps in either direction there without hitting one of them or a dog dragging something in. I got the Naras slapped with the academy. The Akimichis are all either ninja or merchants and half make up the merchant guild already. But we are all taking bets on when you announce the R&D thing. So come on, when is it? I've got a hundred ryo riding on this."

Fugaku blinked at her slowly. "What?"

"Oh come on! You even have Itachi-chan, who's like… _genius_. If he isn't your bid for the next generation's head of R &D, I'm a cat."

"You're the Leopard Summoner, that's just as good." Mikoto responded like an automation, just as bewildered as her husband as to what the Nara clan's Lady was talking about.

Itachi, barely five-years-old, blinked at the book he was reading then looked at his parents questioningly.

Then Fugaku started laughing.

Natsumi blinked, shocked. It wasn't the chuckle she could sometimes get flustering the others, it was a full on belly laugh she hadn't heard for years.

This probably wasn't what was expected of the Uchiha clan; but when Natsumi realized the Naras were considered in charge of the academy last night, somehow paperwork about it had ended up on _Shikaku's_ desk, she realized she could spread that to this clan too. The Hyūgas would probably grab something in revenge, because that clan did had a rivalry going with the Uchihas however little it mellowed out over the years, but that was also good news for the reincarnated former soldier.

Clans involved with village services gave not only centralized authority to those that needed said services, but were also easily locatable and had explicit chains of command and rules about those services.

Whenever a civilian had an issue with a neighbor or just something strange they spotted going down the street, they went to an Uchiha clan member for help. If they got passed on to an Uchiha Police Station to make a formal report, they knew they had done the right thing and took a bit of pride from that even if they would never know what it was.

If they needed a new market place for whatever ingredient they wanted to cook with, they got an Akimichi's advice about which merchant knew the most about it. Then they got drawn into conversations about recipes, usually included with a taste test because that Akimichi wanted to show off a civilian clan member's work a bit. You can't hate people that regularly fed you and you swapped recipes with, it just wasn't possible.

There was a standing C-rank for the Aburame clan to check over farmers' fields, every season. It should've been a D, there was little risk in sending the right bugs out to test field conditions, but the farmers stoutly refused to pay a ryo less than a C for the time they took up. The honey, fruit, and weavings that clan produced was famous as well, some of the best in the Elemental Countries compared only to that Iwa clan that split off from them back before Konohagakure's founding.

The Inuzuka clan ran a veterinary clinic that catered to family pets as well as ninja nin-kin. They also took in strays, allowed adoption for those normal animals, and could normally find whatever aliment the family dog was suffering from. Inuzuka dogs were always up for a rousing game of tag or even just throw the stick with your kids when your pet was in the vet's office.

No one blinked when Naras piped up about whatever issue, they just corrected it and watched them lazily strolling away afterwards. It was just the difficulty in getting a Nara to speak up that made that somewhat rare, usually you bribed them with a shogi or Go game with your grandfather to get them to help. It made the elders of that family rather happy to be useful, the Nara in question amused, and the problem was solved in the end even if the Nara redirected you to another clan.

After her chewing out half the academy-sensei, they would probably double check everything with a Nara for the next few years. Ensuring nothing else would go wrong or allow anyone else to meddle in there.

The Yamanaka clan did counseling services on the side; for marriage, adjusting to new family members, grief, or just anger management. It was hard to hate the therapist that got your wife to talk to you again, or saved the relationship between you and your son or daughter. Inability to look them in the eye or not.

Hyūgas were approached when you lost sight of your child for however long or whatever reason. That clan member would locate the child similar to your chakra signature, however weak it was, and calmly inform you where they were. More often than not going with you to corral the escapee so the child could be introduced to a formally spoken, stern, blank-eyed looking ninja warrior that had to find them for their worried parents. That only happened once or twice in any childhood.

It had taken a lot of adjustment for civilians to get used to being able to go to any of the shinobi clans they lived around and get help, but they knew they could by now and did so when it helped. It built up goodwill between the ninja side of the village and the regular citizens, half of why they were allowed to bother whichever clan member with their problems.

The other half of that reason why was that they were all human, having a home and neighbors that wouldn't shy away from you walking down the street was calming to a ninja's nerves after a bad mission. Being greeted enthusiastically and honestly because you or your clan helped so and so once before was… rather priceless as a comfort when you were feeling like the lowest of the low.

Part of the problem with the Uchiha shinobi clan and the others was that the Military Police were scary. They _had to be_ , ninja wouldn't respect something that wasn't possibly lethal to them. It was why a kage was the biggest badass of them all, an S-rank was a dream come true for most the ninja corps, and getting a bingo book page to yourself was a celebratory event.

That issue caused some social problems, because you wouldn't go up to Hiruzen, Jiraiya, Tsunade, or now Minato and crack a joke with them unless you knew them very well and knew they wouldn't take your head off physically or with sharp words for wasting their time. Likewise, you wouldn't go drinking with an Uchiha clan member that might be tempted to arrest you for disturbing the peace or being drunk in public if you and your friends got a little rowdy.

However, there was nothing scary about a nerd enthusiastically spewing technobabble right, left, and center. She had watched Fugaku and Mikoto dive into those conversations enough to know. Even better, the Uchiha clan head was a grumpy asshole most of the time. Him spewing geek speak at you was a jarring experience.

"Is that why the clan is being watched?"

She went still again, but recovered quickly enough she was hopeful that the Uchihas hadn't caught it. "Maybe. I'll look into that if you want, but I do have a bet going with Tsunade-sama over this. And seriously, if you cause me to lose I'll never forgive you."

A bet going since that very morning, but still. Rumors and hearsay was a lovely thing when you could get it working for you.

The news about watchers would be investigated anyway, because… _what?_

"And again, no one's going to ask. You are just as much part of the village as any other clan, we expect you to step up and take what you fit into. Just stop being so slow, would you? We know already, you kick our butts in jutsu acquisition and chakra applied sciences, there's no reason to make us curse you out for taking your sweet time about it."

Mikoto was rubbing her temple, patting Itachi on the shoulder to get him refocused on what was before him and not the conversation his father was in the middle of.

Fugaku gave up on his book, setting it on the table and rubbing his chin thoughtfully with a frown.

Natsumi faked despair, slumping over to hit her head on the table. "Sometime this century, please?"

"If you tell me what your kinjutsu uses to work as it does."

Sitting upright, the assassin examined Fugaku's face. "I thought you didn't want Orochimaru's assistance for that."

"I don't, but I believe you knew before that."

"Well, yeah. But this was your show, I was content to follow your lead for it. You are better than me in this." Natsumi shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal to her that he got to the conclusions he did on his own or not. "Besides, it wasn't like all those dead ends weren't useful for development. It wouldn't be half as impressive without you."

Fugaku's face as he processed that was interesting to watch.

He finally ended on a stern look, Natsumi merely grinned back at him.

He wasn't nearly as stern as Minato could be, she wasn't intimidated.

"Your wife is currently looking into what you wanted to know. I use both a Yin release and balanced chakra, for what should've been a genjutsu but ended up being more ninjutsu in effect." She tilted her head at their surprised expressions. "I had never used a genjutsu before that to know I did it so wrong, and I still have next to no skill with mid or high level genjutsus because of that kinjutsu. As long as I can use that, I simply cannot get the hang of casting regular illusions in battle. It's too different. So I stick with Yin Release based ones."

All three Uchihas she was sitting with stared at Mikoto's scrolls for a long moment. Taking that last hint and adding it to what they already knew of her forbidden technique.

Fugaku groaned finally, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Natsumi grinned softly, _that_ was where Minato picked the habit up from.

"I'll think about it."

She slumped. "Really, Fugaku? _Really?_ "

He gave her an unimpressed sort of glare. "I will not assist you in winning a bet with the Senju head."

Natsumi pouted. "I am winning that bet, even if I have to annoy you into taking over a year or two early."

Snorting, the clan head picked up his book again. Pointedly this time, as if to suggest he knew she was up to something but not entirely sure what, so he wasn't going to help her.

She scoffed, getting up and waving goodbye to the man's little family.

Rumor and gossip would do it for her, anyways. She didn't need his explicit permission.

It would also get the Uchiha out of their compound more, and prevent being chased into a corner if they had more links to other parts of the village. She wasn't sorry for manipulating him and his clan like this, anything was better than no Uchiha clan or a rabid one.

R&D desperately needed the popularity boost that came from being thought of as part of a noble shinobi clan, as well. It wasn't doing well, even years after the Orochimaru disaster. The only ones there anymore were retired Nara clansmen, a few awkward eggheads, and a scattering of ninja still trying to salvage their department from the taint of a rogue sannin's betrayal. Currently, being sentenced to R&D was considered a punishment. Even the Cypher corps had better recruitment numbers than R&D, and cyphers gave Natsumi and a whole lot of others migraines trying to decode on their own.

Uchihas, in their own way, were kind of awesome. Insane sometimes, but awesome.

She wasn't any picture of perfect mental health either, so she'd never be pointing fingers.

\V/

Tsume had been warned somehow, so on the sixth day of enforced rest she was prepared for a possible day-long invasion by assassin.

Hana needed to train her three puppies, and a human that smelled of cat was a very good distraction to tempt them with.

Natsumi glared in return for that point, the Inuzuka alpha merely radiated smugness.

The tiny Inuzuka child went about her training with the experienced air of someone who had spent a lot of time in the kennels watching other dogs being trained up.

The ANBU captain suddenly smirked, Tsume cocked her head to the side.

"I could Summon a Leopard or two. Tsuyoshi might just like batting puppies about and I bet none of them can catch Kenta."

"There'd be a _riot_." The other kunoichi breathed after a moment of processing that. "Natsumi, don't. You're one thing, but an actual _Leopard_ in our home territory?"

The assassin thought about it.

Tsume growled, Kuromaru warily getting up from next to the porch they were seated on to watch Hana work with her puppies.

"You could claim you're testing response time to intruders."

Blinking, the wild woman gave that another moment of thought. "Tsuyoshi is the big one, right?"

"Yep."

The only dog in range of the two of them wilted.

"That… fine. Only after Hana and the Haimaru brothers are sent inside."

"Agreed."

Kuromaru whined in horror.

(ooo000ooo)

"You caused a _riot_ in the Inuzuka clan compound, and are now hiding in _T &I?_"

"You say that like it's surprising, Ibiki. This is me we're talking about. You know what happens when I'm bored."

Her oldest brat rubbed his face, visibly exasperated with her.

The trainees of the Torture and Interrogation department of Konohagakure no Sato were on a lunch break, giving the wild looking Nara Lady and the imposing chūnin they had classes with a wide berth.

Gai was there too, so it probably wasn't all Ibiki's intimidating bulk or her rather wild smirk.

The three of them together, though? Natsumi wasn't surprised they had a table in the cafeteria to themselves.

"That sounds like excellent speed training, sensei!"

"And the dodging of trackers, cause they all are stupidly good at that. Almost got caught a few times, Tsuyoshi had to bail me out on more than a few of those instances."

"Don't encourage him, sensei," Ibiki groaned with a chuckle, which cause the rest of the students in the room to flinch, "or there'll be another riot before the day's out."

"Eh, it all clears up the next time I see that clan's elders. We'll get into a snarling contest, I'll punch one, one'll try to punch me back, and then it's forgotten like old news."

Unfortunately, it seemed as if her oldest brat was the only jōnin-track chūnin in the classes being held. It made her wonder what was going on, if they had the staff they needed or not, but this was Inoichi's territory she was in now. Messing around might piss off the only mind walker that allowed her eccentrics about the state of her head.

"Right. So, gather around students." Natsumi plucked one of her secrecy seals out of her weapons pouch, slapping it on the table when her chūnin obediently leaned forward. "No trouble with the classes, Ibiki?"

"I'm good sensei. It's interesting, at least."

"Gai?"

"I have a question about something, sensei, but that's not sensitive."

She nodded, not surprised Gai had questions. He always had something to ask her.

"Ibiki, once you're through these mandatory things find Yamanaka Inoichi. He's the king around here, he'd know where you'll be the most useful. Once he's back, because he's currently in the middle of the Kumo situation right now. Do me a favor, though? I think he's still suffering from migraines, and the cause was head trauma a few years ago. Watch for that, and let me know if he's still getting headaches. He shouldn't, especially when he told me _and_ his team leader they were gone."

Ibiki nodded firmly, looking thoughtful. On his face, it looked scary to those that didn't know him.

Inoichi wouldn't know what hit him… at first. Then they might just have collaborated on making a monster out of her old student by that time.

"Gai? I seriously think you're getting the short end of the stick here. Anything I can help with, even if it is throwing my reputation behind you, just ask."

Her taijutsu user frowned faintly.

"Gai?"

"I would like the name of the chūnin that tested me in taijutsu as a genin, sensei. The blonde kunoichi you're friends with."

"Haruno Mebuki?" Natsumi blinked. "Err… she's a tokubetsu jōnin right now… and married… I think."

"She had a very interesting style, which you sometimes use too. I would like to learn that, but I don't know who to ask."

The assassin went still, staring.

"Sensei?"

She coughed awkwardly, wondering how the hell to explain that one. "Um… Gai. That style was… my kaa-chan's. Mebuki wanted to learn and polish it up, so… since I wasn't a taijutsu user…"

Gai looked alarmed for a moment before smoothing out his face.

Teacher and student stared for a moment.

"I'll… talk to Mebuki and see if she developed katas for it. Or if I have to teach you the same way I taught her."

"Sensei! You don't have to-"

"No, it's okay. I swear. _Someone_ should use it…"

Gai looked flustered in a way she hadn't seen since leaving for the Kumo fighting that first time.

Ibiki groaned, snatching his lunch tray and getting up. "For the love of the _kami_ , go be awkward elsewhere. My lunch break is over."

Natsumi mustered a sheepish look for her oldest student, peeling up the seal. "Right… okay. Bye Ibiki. Have fun."

She snagged the taijutsu user before he could escape any further strangeness, pulling him out of the cafeteria and down the halls.

"Sensei, I really am sorry for asking…"

"Gai, I swear on the soul of my last katana, it's okay. You are perfectly welcome to use that style."

He still looked miserable, now he couldn't escape her. "But it should go to your own children, family arts are supposed to be passed on."

"My children will be _Naras_ , Gai. They will be taught the Nara clan's taijutsu style, because they need that to work well with the clan's kagemane no jutsu. So it's probably for the best you asked, because it might not have been passed on unless Mebuki likes it enough to teach her own children."

She waited a beat, so he would absorb that, then continued.

"Besides, you've a right to it. Technically."

That shocked him enough he failed to continue forward, out of the T&I building. Natsumi turned back to him and smirked at his expression.

Part dawning realization, and part elation. Gai had never really gotten over becoming the last of the Maito family.

"Come on, we've a blonde taijutsu user to harass."

\V/

Day seven, her last day of enforced rest, someone wised up.

A bit too late in her opinion, but oh well…

Minato looked rather disturbed and bleary eyed, but he was standing on her front porch in the early hours of dawn. "Really, sempai? You need a watcher now? What the _hell_ have you been doing?"

"It's not my fault, I was bored." Letting him in anyways, Natsumi snickered as she shut the door behind him. "What have you heard?"

"A few things. You and Gai-san destroyed Training Grounds Three between you two, there was a riot involving a pack of dogs, something about T&I's latest crop of recruits, and the whole Uchiha clan is scratching their heads over something you said to Fugaku and suspiciously peering around whenever they're spotted." He rolled his eyes, well used to her habits. "Why they haven't slapped you with something yet I'll never know. Disturbing the peace or something like that."

"It's not my fault, it's this vacation thing." The assassin shrugged and made her way to the study. "Nothing about the academy?"

"What did you do?"

"Hey! The academy was already mine."

Minato blinked at her as she retook the seat she'd been in when he knocked. "So… everything else was correct?"

"Eh… the dog thing was actually the Inuzuka clan, but that mix-up is understandable. Gai and I didn't destroy Training Grounds Three… just deforested it a bit. He wanted to show off what he learned and I didn't stop him. And T&I is all Ibiki's fault, I swear."

"You… caused… a _riot_ … in the _Inuzuka clan_ …"

"Their clan compound. I had Tsume's permission."

Minato buried his face in his hands. "Oh kami… what's up for today? Turning the Aburame clan on it's head? Or maybe you want to train alley cats in some kind of twisted army of perversion for Jiraiya-sensei?"

"I was actually going to finish the clan's paperwork so Shikaku doesn't have to do it when he's home, but we can if you want."

He gave her a blank stare.

Natsumi grinned back, content with her efforts.

Someone was at least massively confused, her work was done.

Take _that_ old age, she would never be predictable.

\V/

Midnight was technically day eight since returning to the village.

That was Panther's story, and she was sticking to it.

ANBU training ended in a two week long stay in Training Grounds Forty-Four, trainees were given a kunai and told that ANBU would be back for them later.

Eventually.

They were watched, of course, but no help would come from the trainers unless it looked to end in the loss of life and limb.

Natsumi, when it had been her turn, spent two days driving herself up a tree in boredom and then hunted down one of her fellow trainees just for someone to talk to. The two of them then hunted down everyone else in the testing area the very next day. They ended up making a makeshift camp of sorts, with everyone pitching in with some job or another, and when everything was over they were patted on the head and told that was the way half of those exam periods ended.

Panther was curious how Koichi's exam ended, but that wouldn't end for another six hours so she just started in on the paperwork on her desk.

Bear-sama poked his head into her office before five minutes had passed.

"I'm shocked you didn't hightail it out there."

"I can wait another few hours. I do have to protest the vacation thing, though. That was not needed."

"Yeah… I heard your protest even in here."

The assassin smirked behind her mask, cocking her head at the man when half a minute passed quietly. "What?"

Bear remained silent for another few moments. "I'm heading out, can you take my desk for the night?"

Panther blinked at him stupidly.

She didn't think Bear-sama ever left ANBU. She knew other captains had been randomly tapped to watch his desk at night, but she thought he just slept in HQ.

"…sir?"

The man snorted. "Unlike what most believe I do have a life, Panther. And sometimes I like a few hours off."

"I've never seen your office without you in it or nearby. I call bullshit."

Bear rattled off the command code all captains were taught to ensure their superior was who he said he was.

She spent another moment staring. That code had to be changed, now that it had been used. He did it without even getting irritated she was questioning him.

…that really was Bear… or at least a very, _very_ good fake.

"Huh… the world isn't ending, is it? Cause if it is, I want to go spending my last hour with either my otouto or husband."

"It's nice having a spouse, isn't it? Lucky you… but no. The world's not ending, and it better not on your watch."

"I'll just… man the desk then. Have a good night, sir."

He gave a bastardized saluted to her on his way out.

Panther spent another moment staring at her office door, but finally gathered the stuff she was supposed to be working on and walked out of there.

The things you learned in the dead of night…

(ooo000ooo)

Koichi wasn't even aware of his surroundings enough to realize he was being watched.

To be fair, it was the ANBU barracks for unassigned trainees and there were quite a few other ninja in the room.

Still… her student and the other rookies held themselves still and silent as the captains and senior ANBU agents dickered over who got what.

Panther wasn't budging from her scout turned saboteur, even for Wombat's ninjutsu user. If he kept up bugging her, though, she might just take Dragon off the man's hands anyways. She was leaning more to taking Stag, the poor man hung around her so hopefully.

Well, it might be more Mouse than her Stag wanted, but the point remained. There was also the nagging suspicion in the back of her mind that Stag was a Nara clan member. Who else would be too lazy to even speak up?

She'd find out for sure later today, when she got the man's files.

An assassin, a bodyguard, a medic, and a saboteur all walk into a bar…

It sounded eclectic, but it worked for Panther's squad. She, Boar, Horse, and Bat had made it work to the point they had been one of the best assassination squads in ANBU. They had even technically won against a rogue sannin.

Now they would just be the best saboteurs in the corps.

She hoped, anyways. Her last squad didn't exactly end well.

Bear finally scooped up the unwanted files, those rookies would just go to the general pool of personnel waiting to be picked up for whatever mission came their way. Panther pretended to check Koichi's as the others did the same thing to their new squad rookies.

Before the senior agents filed out, taking the other rookies with them to get them sorted for the next two weeks, Panther snapped her fingers in Stag's masked face to pull him up short. Some bright idiot wolf whistled, slapping the bodyguard on the back. Stag graciously backhanded the moron for her, falling in behind as she made her way to her new ANBU rookie.

Koichi warily looked up at her, relaxing when he recognized her eyes.

They were stupidly notable, especially in the mask she reserved for doing things she wanted to be recognized in. There was another, her mission mask, which had a fūinjutsu seal on the inside that worked like those colored contacts she once wore.

They concealed her eyes, not changed the colors. She couldn't pull that one off with fūinjutsu.

With her two new squad mates following obediently, Panther led the way to the ANBU's specialized stores.

Showing Koichi to a seat in the strangely cluttered place, she turned to the bodyguard. "You'll be working closely with Mouse, but she's got an S-rank she's still on. So if she leaves HQ, don't follow until I let you in on that."

Stag nodded to show he heard, signing quickly that he was going to move bunks to Panther's squad's bunk space.

Koichi at least waited for the other ANBU agent to leave before speaking up. "An S-rank, sensei?"

"Long story, that. I'll tell you later today. But get out of the habit of calling me sensei. I'm taicho here, Koichi." Panther pulled off her mask, snagged his kabuki one and tossed that into a bin, leaving hers on the table as she browsed the shelves. "I'll give you a choice, a monkey mask, apes, or a skunk… don't ask why one's a skunk, I don't know. Sounds like it should be a good story, though. I wonder if Bear-sama knows…"

Koichi looked torn for a moment, he was always being associated with monkeys or apes. "Err… is there anything else I need to know… _taicho?_ "

"You would need a species as well, but I'll pick that. I intend to hold on to you for a good long while. Hey, you could be a mongoose!"

"That, let's go with that."

Plucking that mask out of the box it rested in, waiting for the next wearer to pick it up, Natsumi backtracked to Koichi's seat.

"Okay, paints."

"Paints?" The newly confirmed saboteur looked warily at her mostly black cat mask.

"Heh… not _quite_ that much, honestly. That's another really long story I'll tell you eventually." Reaching under the table, she pulled out the racked bottles of lacquer paints.

The paints might be a type of polish, but they would dry to a lusterless streak of color in about an hour. Between the white clay and that, nothing about their masks should reflect the light other than the eyes of an agent in question.

Examining them, she pulled the rusty tan and black paints out. "Traditionally, this is done by your sponsor or captain. Since that's me in both cases, we're doing this now because I don't have to argue with myself on who gets to do it. However, my mask it that way because I did it, my taicho was retired by that time and I hadn't known who my sponsor was. He told me to paint it though, so yeah."

Natsumi rummaged around until she found a clean brush, unscrewing the light red-brown paint. She then smeared the color onto the blank white clay, drawing an outwardly curved V-shape down the forehead pointing to the nose. Two lines, one on each side of the mask, went on next angled from the point the jaw connected to the face to cross the cheekbones and end near the tip of the nose. The black went on last, inverted from the first lines to line the mouth and mark the nose.

It looked like an angry weasel face. Well… Mongoose _was_ a weasel mask, it fit somewhat.

Natsumi might have nearly flawless calligraphy, but her artistic drawing skills _sucked._

Some of the paints on ANBU masks would've made a five-year-old proud, so the rule of thumb was the less the better. Most of what ended up on their masks were stupid looking, but it was something of their first captain's or good friend's so ANBU wore them with pride anyways and dared you to ask.

Stag had three tan lines on either side of his mask, the worst drawing of antlers she had ever seen. Mouse at least had two gray streaks that followed the line of her nose that looked somewhat mouse-ish if you turned it upside-down. _Bear_ had two upside-down black arrows drawn under his mask's eyeholes, with two brown streaks following his jawline. Wolf just had red paint streaking down one side of his dog mask, an almost half finished look to it. There was a kunoichi wandering around with a Rabbit mask and three blue whisker marks à la Naruto.

There were the awesome paints, taicho's black curves on her old mask and a Robin that had just a red floret design around the left eye hole of a bird's, but those were rare.

"And done. Congratulations Mongoose."

Natsumi carefully picked up the still wet mask and set it on Koichi's face… mostly to hide the brilliant grin breaking out on him. Even if his mask looked like a sulking weasel, she had marked him as an ANBU squad member. By this time he would've heard the little bits ANBU trainers dropped to the trainees, and the mask thing was only mentioned briefly in ANBU training anymore.

"You've got a week of being confined to HQ, so you can learn the place, but we can also go to get your tattoo done today."

Mongoose carefully held the mask on as she secured it to his head. "Where's yours, taicho?"

"Back of the left elbow. Not my best idea, every time I go out I have to wear long sleeves. That's why my clan jacket is like it is, other than the fact I couldn't deal with the short sleeve thing."

Tilting his masked face enough to see it, he stared at the red swirls outlined in black when she helpfully positioned herself so he could see.

"Black outline?"

"Marks me a captain. Come on, another rookie might like to get his mask today too."

\V/

Another tradition of ANBU was that your first mission as an ANBU whatever had absolutely nothing to do with your specialty.

Panther wasn't sure how or why it started or continued, but that was how it always went.

Her first mission had been a boring guard shift in some noble's home on the outskirts of Iron, because that noble was a paranoid bastard and ANBU teams lurking around were terrifying to any non-ninja assassins. No, she never forgave that noble for the indignity either.

Though, if given the choice, she would've rather had a saboteur mission anywhere else than what her squad got as their first mission.

Bear-sama's mask poked into her office. "Wolf-taicho's dead. KIA, him and the whole team he was with. Go see what it was. I _want_ the _corpses_."

Natsumi's heart stopped. Her desk broke in half the next second.

Given desks used by shinobi were made to withstand a lot of abuse during their use that had probably scared the shit out of her squad.

Panther couldn't care.

Someone was going to _die_ for this… in the most painful manner she could make them.

\V/

Hatake Sakumo had been a jōnin kenjutsu master of Konohagakure no Sato. Once an ANBU captain, sometimes teammate to the surviving sannin, and father of two biological children and all but adopted another.

She stopped that train of thought, now wasn't the time.

He might have died, but the man had died _hard._

Mongoose tried not to gag, somewhere behind her. The gore, blood, and body parts spread around was impressive, but typical for shinobi battles fought to the last man standing.

Panther ignored it and Summoned her best trackers.

Kenta, Akira, and Jin barely had the time to wonder, they caught the scent of stale blood and her taicho and realized why they were there.

"We owe it to the Dogs. Jin, the thigh bone of who killed him. Kenta, sort out who isn't ours. Akira, run a message to Bear-sama and the Hokage that we're here."

Jin had the best nose, even if he was technically the ambassador between Konoha and the Leopard clan and not her Summons. He didn't even bother trying to argue his orders.

Mouse was quietly explaining who Wolf had been to her to the others as she approached the silver haired body on the ground. Facedown, one hand on his weapon and the other still clutching the tantō he buried in the forehead of a collapsed foe that probably tried to get the man to die faster.

Sakumo had to be overrun in order to be killed.

From what Panther could see so far, it seemed as if the rest of his team got picked off one by one until the man himself had been that last one standing. His sword was one of the ANBU standard katanas he sometimes ran missions with, because he liked to tease he had to keep ahead of her somehow.

Tugging out the White Light Chakra Saber, she unhooked the sheath from the shinobi's arm and attached it to her thigh as she wiped the blade off on her forearm. She would take it back to Kakashi, for either Midori to use in a few years or to be displayed on the dojo wall until the next Hatake kenjutsu user wanted to wield it.

Stiffly turning away, because if she spent any more time on what Kakashi had been wanting to show off to the man when he was home she'd break down crying and that wouldn't help anyone out there now, Panther studied the opponents that killed her old taicho. She needed to know who she was going to kill.

Stepping around Kenta's back, he was pulling two halves of one ninja into one pile, she peered at the youngish face she had never seen before.

Frowning and about to pull away, something white under his head caught her eye.

Tipping the body over, slowly to watch for explosive tags set to go off when the corpse was disturbed, Panther dug a mask out of the ground.

Half a mask? No, the other half was still down there. She dug the other half out from behind the corpse, shedding mud off the clay with her doton based chakra control.

A broken…

… _blank_ ANBU mask.

\V/

Natsumi quietly let herself into the Hatake clan's home, ghosting through the hallway until she spotted Eri cooking something in the kitchen.

She would really rather not be the one to do this, but she was the closest in ANBU to the surviving clan members.

"Eri-kaa-chan?"

Eri knew, the moment the woman glanced at her face. Sakumo was overdue by too long for anything else to be up. "No."

"I'm sorry."

The civilian bit her lower lip, trying to stop it from trembling. "It… He was going to retire when the war was over."

"I'm really, _really_ sorry."

"Can… can you tell me?"

"He was on his way home, but ran into something. They're dead. We're hunting the ones responsible for sending the men that did it."

Eri nodded woodenly, glassy eyes on her wringing hands. "Good."

Then she broke, and started sobbing.

Natsumi carefully wrapped the civilian in her arms, because she was still massively pissed off and hopefully wouldn't break until Shikaku got home.

That ball of cold fury in her chest wouldn't be satisfied until Danzō was in pieces, and if the dick wiggled out of the charge of murdering one of their own jōnin teams she'd do it anyways.

She was an assassin, even if it killed her that asshole was a dead man walking.

Her taicho deserved that much from her.

(ooo000ooo)

Kakashi didn't look like it had sunk in yet, and they had already displayed Sakumo's tantō on the dojo wall after cleaning it off.

Even if she knew the man's son had wielded it after him in another life, she couldn't think of it as anything other than his.

"…you're going to need to train Midori-chan."

Kakashi gave a barely audible whine, half-distress and half-grief.

"I can help, but Eri-kaa-chan doesn't know the routine Sakumo-taicho used with you. She might not have understood half of what went on. I wasn't there for some of that, so I'll need a refresher."

He nodded woodenly, just like his mother had a few hours before. Natsumi tucked him into her side.

Kakashi, who had eschewed being coddled by her at age seven claiming he was too old for it, merely sat there.

"The funeral is in a week… and I have the bone for the Dogs. Jin got it for us."

There couldn't be many survivors from Sakumo's Summon Pack, she had spotted Aki-sama's lean form under her old taicho's body and a few other splashes of bloody dog fur she recognized. If Aki-sama couldn't dismiss herself, dead or in the process of dying, it wasn't really likely any of her pack mates would've left her there. Kakashi might have to just give it to one of his own Dogs to take to the Alpha of the Dog Summons to be dealt with.

There was the feeling she should be more concerned by that, the desecration of someone's body and handing it off to be gnawed on by intelligent animals. Natsumi really couldn't get the energy to care right now, so that was being ignored in favor of ensuring the remaining Hatakes were cared for.

She felt more than saw the next nod, and ignored how her tank top was getting wet as he took what comfort he could from her.

Minato was lurking around, behind the dojo's doors giving the two of them some privacy to deal with the Hatake heirloom weapon, but the man was Kakashi's sensei right now. Stealing that comfort from her own little brother would be mean and selfish…

No, Natsumi would grit her teeth and deal. She had once survived about eight years alone before, until Shikaku got home and she could grieve it would be _fine._

Even if suppressing the sheer _hate_ and _rage_ was causing her cracks.

\V/

The Nara clan arranged for Sakumo's funeral and all the little details that came with.

Shikai, her father in law, took one look at her face the moment he saw her after he and his wife heard the news and frowned. Then told her flatly she wasn't doing it and went off to do it himself without letting her get a word in edgewise. Natsumi hadn't bothered trying to argue with Shikaku's old man.

Instead, she spent the week helping Eri figure out how to strike a balance between caring for Midori and giving in to her grief. Kakashi had been given the three days of paid leave to help his mother out too, but it wasn't like Team Seven wasn't somewhere around the compound.

She even got to know Obito a bit, but the Uchiha looked wary around her even when his sensei was in the same room.

That same wariness was even present in the civilians Natsumi came across lately, she didn't really know what had happened there. It might have had something to do with the first of many people that came up to her to say something trite and foolish that she may have scared the piss out of.

Natsumi had just stared at that man, honestly.

The fact he trailed off, paling like some demon was standing before him and not a jōnin kunoichi, had briefly confused her.

She had issues, in all actuality she had a _plethora_ of issues if you wanted to be honest. The civilian viewpoint one wasn't her fault, when she had what amounted to explicit permission to measure out the feel of Hidden Village civilians and what they could accept in daily life she was dealing with something else a bit more urgent. After that she had been a Konohagakure kunoichi trainee, and stuck more to the clan affiliated trainees around her than the civilians she might have measured for that.

It wasn't like Minato and Inoichi would've let her go off people watching for a week or three back then.

By the time the funeral for jōnin shinobi Hatake Sakumo came around, Shikaku and his team still wasn't back. Instead, Natsumi left the Nara clan's show of support and comfort for another shinobi clan to Shikai's gnarled hands and stood next to Eri as the woman juggled a baby who was only just realizing something was very wrong and not weeping at the same time.

She was failing rather badly at it, even by civilian standards.

Because of the war, there was almost weekly funeral rites being held for KIA ninja in the farthest end of Training Grounds Three. The part Natsumi had strictly informed her then genin team that if they damaged it she would inflict the same damage on them.

Gai's showing off didn't even touch the outer parts of the funeral site, but if you got behind the outer ring of trees it was almost embarrassingly obvious ninja trained in that field. Koichi had only once looked into the far part she never let them train in and then obeyed her command. Ibiki hadn't even tried to buck it, and she had expected to have to break a finger or two on him for his cooperation.

She was now standing in that clearing she didn't like, that she had visited only twice before.

Once when she had only just joined ANBU, to see this life's mother's name on that rock, and twice when she learned her father's name. Finding that he had died well before her second mother had been… something.

Standing here again, watching as Sakumo's name and a handful of others were carved into that glossy stone monument, was not a point of her life she wanted to recall.

Unfortunately, she wouldn't be able to forget this disgustingly cheerful day.

The Village's Elders had come out to show their respects, because a well-known and much respected jōnin was being added to the Memorial.

Natsumi dislocated her left thumb keeping her face from betraying herself, but the wet pop of cartilage giving way was rather loud in the silence punctuated by steel striking stone.

Eri glanced at her with red rimmed eyes, but the assassin shook her head so she turned back to watch the carving of names.

She had to pop the joint back in place when the Elders came to give the Hatake Matriarch their condolences.

Staring at Utatane Koharu's left shoulder, some twitch of the elder kunoichi's drew her gaze back up to her face. Koharu stared levelly back, and a dim corner of Natsumi's mind vaguely recalled the woman had been Sakumo's jōnin-sensei when the academy was new as an ugly light lit up her eyes.

Natsumi could not even glance in Danzō's direction. Within the village, it wasn't much of a secret she and Sakumo had been ANBU together and she had viewed the man as a father figure and he practically considered her a daughter.

Instead of ignoring the Nara, as the assassin was technically not part of the Hatake clan, like her fellow elders, the retired kunoichi put her life in Natsumi's hands and hugged her. Whispering an invitation to tea in a few days and getting a stilted, barely there nod in return against her cheek.

Koharu also gave Eri a standing invitation, whenever she wanted it for anything the widowed wife of her former student wanted.

Natsumi's eyes slid closed, pressing a hand to the small of Eri's back like Sakumo had when ninjas did things she wasn't sure about so she'd know it was honestly offered. The two kunoichi politely ignored her brief sob at the action.

She had to tell Kakashi about that tell for Eri, sometime soon.

In a few more minutes, the only ones left in the Memorial field were the ones that wanted to give comfort to those who lost their precious ones. Natsumi gave the remaining Hatakes to Team Seven's and Kushina's care, her own students lingering a bit farther away and pulling guard for their younger comrades-in-arms as Koichi filled in the blanks for her team.

Minato pulled her away slightly, to where a few of their friends were and far enough that they wouldn't be overheard by anyone that didn't specifically try to listen in.

He didn't speak, because by that time they really didn't need to for the important things. He knew something was up, and she was striving for control rather desperately. This was just him ensuring she had the time to gather herself again.

Tsume had to be the one to ask, after a silent moment.

"What?"

Natsumi cracked a bitter, sharp smile. "I'm going to kill him. Cut his tendons, puncture the eyes, rip out his tongue, then gut him and watch as his life _bleeds out onto the floor._ "

She sounded almost manically cheerful about it, but her friends didn't even bother acting surprised, shocked, or trying to scold her for it.

Minato had slaughtered over two hundred enemies in one night. Then woke up and went to calmly deal with the very people he butchered not even an hour later for him, a polite smile on his face.

Tsume and Kuromaru literally ripped people apart when they fought full out. Something that happened between five or ten times out of the village, depending on the mission.

Shibi, because the man was standing slightly behind his usual mission partner, allowed his insects to eat people alive when he needed the intimidation factor against multiple enemies.

Behind Natsumi, Fugaku and Mikoto both were part of a shinobi clan that favored fire jutsus to the point they were frequently compared to fire in temperament. They had probably watched some of their enemies burn alive, and caused it a few times themselves when it was needed.

Panther, and her old squad if you wanted to get technical, had once exterminated a decent-sized yakuza gang by strangulation over the course of a week. Slowly. One death every hour until there were no more targets. That had been the orders on the mission she had been given, when a rival yakuza family had ponied up the money Konohagakure's ANBU demanded for such work. The fact it reduced the number of gangs within a certain range notwithstanding, she had still worked an assassination for a crime boss.

All the people standing in their little group could be rightly called murderers, and they had no problem with that or even murdering again when it was needed. The fact they were what amounted to this world's military aside, shinobi fought their battles with fear and steel… in that exact order.

Ninja were not pleasant people to piss off. Even the cheerful ones, _especially_ the cheerful ones. They were usually the worst offenders in that respect. You dealt with that cheerful side for years, but the speed they could go ice cold and brutal made one's head spin even when it happens to good friends.

" _He_ was _here?_ "

Natsumi turned her head just enough to see Shibi, as that had been his quiet voice. "Didn't you hear about the false, blank masked ANBUs? I'm almost close enough, then he'll never touch one of you."

Fugaku was suddenly close enough she could feel his breath stir her loose hair. "Natsumi."

"It'll be sanctioned."

"The watchers?"

"Possibly. They're not ANBU." Natsumi tilted her head again, to meet his narrowed red eyes. "Give me a week."

"A week." The head of the Uchiha clan nodded firmly.

Minato's touch drew her attention back to him.

"I will if I need to, but ANBU is on it. All of us and the Hokage."

He nodded firmly, turning to deal with his team, girlfriend, and the diminished Hatake clan so she would have that week she asked for.

The rest of them broke apart shortly after, heading in different directions.

\V/

Utatane Koharu thoughtfully stirred her tea, thinking.

There wasn't much else for the retired kunoichi to do, but to think and over watch her village. She never had a family, her students were all gone now, and there had been little in her life other than her ninja career and her home.

Retired or not, the kunoichi still had the physical control to not even flinch when her home's tea room door was thrown open.

She knew who it was, and there wasn't any more reason to flinch or shy away.

"Utatane, there is no reason for you to cloister yourself away. The village needs you."

Koharu calmly let her gaze drift to Danzō's bandaged face. "My student was killed, just before retirement. I should be allowed to grieve him. As his sensei, I _almost_ succeeded in keeping one of my students alive long enough to reach our age."

Homura lingered behind the other elder, not entirely sure what they were there for. He agreed with Koharu in that she should have been given some space, but Danzō also had a point.

"That blasted Nara interfered with the academy again. I need you to convince them to change back, the instructors keep turning us away to their clan. Our genin will be done no favors lingering somewhere they are too skilled for."

"That blasted Nara is in charge of the academy, it's impossible that she interfered." The old woman firmly reminded her fellow elders, picking up the teapot. "Tea?"

Danzō glared at her, discarding the dull look he normally wore. Considering that he dressed himself like a hospital escapee, it still wasn't enough to affect her mood.

"The academy genin-"

"Are _children_." Koharu firmly reminded the man again, pouring both cups waiting for her guests. "Our children, we are supposed to guide and care for them as elders of the village. Leave the fighting to the chūnin and jōnin. But even the war is dying down, we no longer need anywhere near as many ninja as before. I will not support that."

Homura and Danzō both accepted the teacups, well used to her quirks when they visited her home.

"Danzō, there is something else you should remember."

Homura sipped his tea, resigned to another argument between his fellow elders about the academy and the Nara clan.

"You shouldn't kill a woman's child, even if they were not the mother that bore them." Koharu glared at the bandaged elder. "For murdering my only surviving student, I hope you _rot_ in the lowest level of _hell_."

She set a broken, blank mask on the tea table between them.

Danzō's two ROOT shadows dropped like stones, as the poison escaping the teapot finally saturated the air enough to paralyze everyone there.

Koharu's image disappeared from before him, and Homura's mind tried to adjust that illusion and the tea pouring.

That hadn't been a shadow clone, or a buushin, a genjutsu, or a ninja wearing a henge… but the chakra had been _Koharu's_ , he hadn't made a mistake about it.

(ooo000ooo)

Panther set down her teacup when Danzō dropped his from nerveless fingers. She was highly dissatisfied with this, but orders were orders. A soldier didn't buck orders, even when the only just wanted to watch someone bleed out for a few hours.

She was an assassin. This was actually probably the best, if nonlethal, takedown she had ever done in her whole career. It not being physically satisfying wasn't much of a point to quibble over, as Danzō could probably kick her ass from Konoha's front gate to Iwa's.

He was keeled over on the floor, not her. Probably a good thing. Still…

That aside, she was also working with an S-ranked kage and another older kunoichi who knew the man's habits and quirks. The fact it was easy was merely a testament of how much a ninja could fuck someone over if they ever had a reason to. Between Hiruzen's crystal ball, Panther's illusions, Koharu's Intel, and a scentless nerve gas in the teapot she might have pulled from military know-how from another life, Danzō wouldn't be twitching without permission.

They had reason enough to fuck Danzō over sideways and backwards… just, she wanted to stab him a few hundred times with the katana Sakumo helped make her and then give the corpse to her Leopards to play with.

The woman across from her, that she had based her illusion downstairs from, set her own down as well. "I… I am truly sorry, Hiruzen. I did not know how far it had gotten, and I'll probably never forgive myself for that."

Their Hokage, who had taken Homura's role in the real-time mock copy well out of retribution range so the elder would never be risked, set his own teacup down as he stared at his crystal ball. The unmoving forms of his old teammate and his former friend slumped to the floor, allowing the hunter-nins to start their work. His attention was more on the fake, blank masked ANBU agents, as that was the most damning piece of evidence so far.

Next to the mission scroll Panther brought back, with an added message to Hanzō the Salamander from Danzō about the possible succession of the Fire Shadow's seat.

"There will be an investigation, Koharu, but at least this will be investigated knowing you came forward when something seemed off to you." The old shinobi glanced at ' _that blasted Nara_ ' beside him, quirking a faint smirk. "Still… Konohagakure thanks you for your work, even if it will cause you trouble in the future."

He was talking to both kunoichi, but he was sure they both didn't really believe him. He could not blame them, because believing his own words was difficult.

Bear cracked his neck before straightening up from the far wall of Koharu's bedroom. "Speaking of the investigation, there's signs of fūinjutsu seals on Shimura's home. Panther, you're up. Try not to destroy the house before we finish."

"I make no promises sir."

Hiruzen frowned faintly as the younger kunoichi moved to leave them. He hadn't heard anything but that very dead tone of voice since the news came back that Sakumo was killed on mission. There were flairs of something sometimes, but it was all anger or hatred and never grief.

He had sent for her husband's team to return a week and a half ago, one of the few things he could get away with when his ninjas lost their pillars of support. It wasn't the first time he rearranged deployments seeming on a whim, calling certain teams back and allowing the 'not needed' teammates the time to handle those things for closure. There would never be the last time he did that until he hung up his hat.

Natsumi was one of his eldest son's pillars, his possible replacement's, and his student's student.

On the other hand Panther was a very good ninja, to the point she could even fool herself in what was going on with her. Hiruzen hoped she could hang on long enough.

\V/

Panther's katana slid just before Stag's neck, scoring a bleeding line on his throat.

Since she held his head still, and the man was manacled to the chair he was in. There wasn't a whole lot the bodyguard could do in return for the brutal treatment. He had been stuck there when she realized he was trying to discreetly clean up part of the ambush site that killed her taicho.

"You have an option that expires in five seconds. Are you still loyal to Danzō, yes or no?"

\V/

Kakashi wasn't quite so socially awkward as another possible version of the chūnin, mainly because of Natsumi's efforts in drilling human behavior and the whys of it into his silver head, but he still had issues.

Before, being a brother to Midori had involved playing with her on occasion and helping his mother clean her up sometimes… and sharing their father's attention, which he got over surprisingly quickly.

Now Kakashi had to figure out how to somehow step into Sakumo's large, empty ninja sandals and become a pseudo father figure of an older brother so his little sister could look up to him.

The most mind boggling part about it all, was that _Ibiki_ had set aside whatever it was between him and the prodigy and was giving the kid advice.

Gai, Obito, and Rin were all only children, as were Minato and Natsumi however much they claimed each other, so Koichi and Ibiki were carefully coaching Kakashi through the temper tantrums baby Midori threw to try and summon her missing father to her. Eri was in the kitchen making a lot of food, her way to assuage her worry and grief and thank the ninja around her because that had always worked when they were younger.

Natsumi decided, in a strangely detached kind of way, that her team was awesome and she loved them.

Minato glanced at her, which was her only warning to pull her scattered control together for the last time before she realized why he was looking at her.

Shikaku was finally, _finally_ home.

Blinking tiredly at the blur that past her as he whisked her off somewhere else, she let her mind wander for the first time since hearing the news about her old taicho.

When they stopped, wherever it was they were now, Shikaku didn't let go but took a seat against something and held her in his lap.

He reeked of sweat, dried gore, and a little of the less pleasant parts of their forest home, but Natsumi buried her face in his chest anyways.

Sakumo was never coming home again, and it wasn't _fucking fair_.

Kakashi would never get to show off that he beat her in a spar once, lucky hit or not. Midori would never know her father and Eri was now a _widow_.

They would never spar again. He couldn't mess up her hair and call her 'neko-chan', teasing about this or that whatever night she happened to stop by. There wouldn't be gentle slaps to the head anymore, because she and Kakashi were giving him and Eri some kind of trouble.

Sakumo wouldn't ever get to see his son become jōnin or scare off Midori's boyfriends like he threatened to do before she had even been born.

Natsumi now wouldn't ever return the favor of all but adopting her by pointing at the man and telling her own kids that was grandpa Sakumo come to visit them.

(ooo000ooo)

Cell Nine's chūnin members accepted their sensei's missing presence easily enough when Namikaze Minato didn't even blink at her abduction when it happened in front of him.

Koichi uncomfortably rolled his shoulders, keenly feeling the missing armor plates he had gotten used to wearing the last couple months. "I'll give her this, sensei enraged is _fucking_ scary."

"What did you see?" Gai queried softy, sitting back to back with Ibiki as the slightly older chūnin thought something over.

"You know those reinforced desks? Sensei broke one, accidently, when she heard the news about honorable Sakumo-sama."

The latest interrogator trainee of Konoha blinked, looking over at him. "Aren't reinforced desks basically iron sheets with wooden paneling? There's a couple in T&I like that."

Koichi nodded rapidly, scratching at a bandaged left elbow. "I could even see the iron edges in her desk, but the whole thing was still split down the middle."

"Massive loss of self-control." Theorized the only kunoichi there anymore, wrinkling her nose as she thought with a medic's view. "It was probably the shock that caused Natsumi-sama to break a reinforced desk, not anger."

Obito gave her a wide eyed look. "Massive?"

Rin gave him an exasperated one in return. "Jōnin are dangerous, Obito-kun. What did you expect someone could do with our skills if they really wanted to?"

"Jōnin are also some of the most self-controlled people you will ever meet, Rin-chan." Minato informed her calmly as if they weren't discussing how dangerous he was, but he was speaking to the rest of them as well. "Most of the time you would never know what a jōnin is feeling by look alone, even in the village I have to know a ninja before I could say with any certainty what they felt about any given issue."

Which was a very non-specific statement about… well, anything of note. Ninja had emotions, ninja concealed emotions, and he sometimes couldn't tell between that.

Cell Nine still took careful consideration of his words anyways.

That was a jōnin that could make their own jōnin-sensei back off occasionally. They had never managed that feat.

Midori-chan, subsiding her screams with whimpers and a death grip on her brother as if the next time he left he wouldn't come back to her too, sorrowfully looked around at them with watering gray eyes as a slightly subdued Kakashi sat back with a sigh. "If you think about it, we're told to run and evade any foreign jōnin we see outside the village. If our village's jōnin fight the very ninja we're told to avoid, then they would have to be somewhat similar in both power and ruthlessness to other villages."

Obito frowned faintly, looking back to where the older kunoichi had once been sitting. "So… Natsumi-sama's complete lack of emotion was?"

"Her suppressing." Ibiki hazarded, as it was what had been occupying his time since the last time Midori kicked up another fuss. "I'm training to see emotion even when a ninja's hiding it, I only caught a few flashes of something ugly in her since… well…"

"I've seen it before." Minato told them all, frowning faintly. "It takes a lot to get her into that state, though. She was waiting for Shikaku-sama to come home to help her deal with it."

Koichi pulled a face even as his teammates shifted uneasily. That was his sensei, now taicho. He didn't need that image in his head.

"You three have been Natsumi's students _way_ too long." The blond informed them dryly. "So she can grieve without worrying she'd kill someone, not… whatever you're thinking."

"Sure, sensei. Whatever you say." Kakashi scoffed. "As if we'd believe you with that blush going up your face."

"They made me think of it!" Minato defended himself, masterfully ignoring the weak snickers of the other chūnin and genin around. "I did not make any perverted references in this conversation… besides that one I just said denying anything."

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku shifting dragged Natsumi out of her bottled grief and the regrets she had over her taicho's death. "I'm sorry… not a great homecoming, huh?"

He had pulled her hair down when she was a little too occupied to notice anything, and the hand fisted in it tightened for a moment. "I could use a shower, now that I think of it."

"Yes, yes you could. You _reek_ , Shika."

"You don't seem all that bothered, Natsu."

Nope, she was just… way too happy he was home, but wow did her heart _hurt_.

She also couldn't draw enough energy to look at him, because if she saw in his eyes what she thought he'd show she'd start crying again.

The salt water she had just added to the front of his shirt hadn't improved the smell, but her nose was getting stuffed up anyways so it wouldn't matter in a few minutes.

"Your kaa-chan moved herself and your tou-chan into the guest bedroom, just so you know. I don't think they left me alone at home since the alert went out."

"Good." After another moment, and she could almost see the grimace on his face as he thought about that, he continued. "It going to be like when we were sixteen all over again."

Natsumi sniffed and shrugged, dully rebooting her mind so she could keep up with the conversation. "This time we're _married_ and sleeping together, they can't exactly make pointedly vague suggestions about how to be better at sneaking around them this time."

"We were only _sleeping_."

"Parents," she did _not_ hiccup at that reminder, "they do that. And I recall some fooling around that morning until your kaa-chan knocked."

She felt him shrug as he gathered her up. "You ground you ass into me, I blame you."

"Excuse you, _your_ hand was between _my_ thighs."

Shikaku rolled to his feet using the muscle control she admired about shinobi. "We aren't really arguing who was at fault for that, are we?"

Natsumi shifted enough to circle her hands behind his neck, pressing her cheek to his jawline. "They are going to bring it up, you know. And the topic of grandchildren, again."

He bounced lightly on his toes, hesitating before heading off to take them home. "Do you feel up to dealing with that, or do you want somewhere else?"

In other words, did she want to grit her teeth and make nice with Shikaku's still living parents or get dumped on Minato's couch with whoever was nearby for the few hours he needed to finish up and be put on leave?

"Home. I… they're awesome, Shika. Especially Shikai-tou-sama."

She might be a colossal bitch sometimes, but Shikaku's parents were never people she could get angry at.

"…call him that. I beg of you, Natsu, call him that once while I watch. You'll be coddled within an inch of your life."

Natsumi laughed weakly, ignoring the thread of agony that laced through her at the thought. "Maybe in a week or so. We can kick them out then and not feel bad about it."

She would still cry again, probably all night if that numb feeling faded anymore from her first breakdown. Probably at the same time he had to leave to report into the Tower, knowing her luck.

It was the price she had to pay, though, for bottling it all up for almost two weeks. She had only just been deemed emotionally compromised with what she had done to Stag, ROOT infiltrator and someone she had almost let guard her squad's back.

Shikaku would not be amused to learn of that. He had _liked_ Stag.

\V/

Natsumi tiredly stared at the paperwork in front of her, rubbing at her temple.

If Danzō's heckling of her academy instructors was him trying to widen his _Ne_ recruitment pool, where the _hell_ was Kabuto?

She had kept a close eye on the orphanage, she knew he hadn't ever shown up there. He also wasn't part of the hospital or her academy classes, she could get access to both of those rosters and he had never shown up on those. Mother Nonō, the iryou-nin that was nominally in charge of the orphanage, wandered in and out easily enough and regularly to the point Natsumi wasn't sure if there was a problem on her end or not.

…oh but wait, Nonō had once been ROOT according to this. Even better, she wouldn't be able to trust any casual observation of the kunoichi.

The assassin set her work down when something dripped onto it, burying her face in her hands and ignoring the wetness there.

"If it would be easier, Natsumi-san, we can stop here." Koharu spoke quietly from her own corner of Danzō's former office.

"Thank you, Utatane-sama, but I can continue. The faster this is dealt with, the sooner we can go home."

She would stop crying, eventually.

Breaking her ability to suppress her feelings momentarily hadn't been the best idea, but she couldn't regret it. Inoichi had quietly told her he was impressed Eri was as settled as she was, and besides what she did to Stag there wasn't much other uncorrectable damage she had done.

There might be five less trees around the Nara clan head's home, but Shikaku hadn't said anything about it yet.

She was claiming it was for more stock wood. In other news, they also had enough firewood to last a few years and they needed a new woodcutter's ax. The other one's ax head had been… lodged in the trees somewhere when she got really close to losing it.

Natsumi would recover, after she wrung out the last of it from herself and could get to an even keel emotionally again.

Officially Danzō was succumbing to his old injuries and an illness in the hospital; Homura was sick with the same thing that caused the other Village Elder such a blow; and Koharu was handling their usual work while her fellow elders recovered or died.

Unofficially, ROOT was in the process of being folded into ANBU. Homura was still under investigation… and Danzō…

Well, he was dead meat. Destined for a quiet traitor's grave, though even giving him the fiction of a noble end grated against her.

From what they've been able to ferret out and piece together, Danzō's ROOT faction had only recently been getting into some strange things for an organization supposedly crafted to take on the dark side of ninja work for Konohagakure's sake. Which was ridiculous, seeing as the dark side of ninja work was either Panther's purview or Mongoose's.

Iwa might have actually had a reason to attack the border posts, Danzō had been leading them by the nose to do it. He had wanted the war, for whatever reason he had, and had caused enough trouble out there to draw some Iwa-nin to the border posts thinking that was the base of the missing ninjas tearing up some of their border towns. Something failed to be communicated on Iwa's side, though, so that little fact of the Leaf's inner workings would never be acknowledged and the Diplomats never informed.

Hiruzen getting a report about that when the _Ne_ ninja couldn't find Danzō to report had… been something. Confusing, mostly. Slightly aggravating.

That ROOT agent had answered a few more questions before clamming up, realizing there was something wrong with the fact Hiruzen and not Danzō was in the elder's home.

Some hints and nibbles in the man's paperwork suggested he had someone spying in every major Hidden Village, and a few of the smaller ones as well. Finding those ninja would be a headache they might never get around to tackling.

That was just a measure of how good Danzō was, though, Konoha didn't have any spies in some of those villages.

They also weren't trying to lengthen an almost finished war either, by tempting Kumo to really get into it with random attacks using some known Leaf signature moves. No wonder tensions in the north were so bad when all the Leaf was doing was sitting there.

Kiri was still just a massive black hole of death, even for Danzō's crafty methods.

There might not have been a whole lot of a paper trail they could find about anything else, but even a little was good enough for ANBU and hunter-nins to trace down. Collaborating with Orochimaru alone, and with his scientific need to note everything about everything there was more than enough to link the two, would give Hiruzen's former friend another death sentence on top of a death sentence for being a traitor.

This time, though, it was an S-rank secret only ANBU, the Hunter-nin Division, and few others knew.

The two kunoichi smelled it long before Hiruzen opened the door, meaning the old shinobi had probably listened in on their short exchange.

He could afford to smoke, his skills easily countered that detracting element when he need them to.

The fact his ninja instantly put the scent of his tobacco lingering on his children to office visits with him was only a bonus.

Hiruzen removed the pipe from his mouth, examining the both of them silently as they rose and greeted him.

Koharu had aged almost overnight, learning that Danzō had sent the team Sakumo challenged when he noticed they weren't really Konohagakure's ANBU. Her hair had lost the salt-and-pepper look, it was now solidly grey. There also seemed to be a weight hanging off her neck now, a slump to her formerly disciplined shoulders and back.

Natsumi didn't really want to think what she looked like, her friends were still treating her like glass so she knew it was probably bad. Even Fugaku, and he was supposed to be the asshole.

The flinching she did at the mere thought of her old taicho or the taicho shaped hole in her life would fade, eventually.

She also really, _really_ did not want to know if the old man hated her.

A student and a friend, however long ago, had run afoul of her and her meddling. One directly and one not, but she was still involved in both.

Hiruzen did not have a whole lot of people left that knew him before he was Konohagakure no Sato's Sandaime Hokage. Homura and Koharu had been teammates with him under the honorable Senju Tobirama, Shimura Danzō a childhood friend. Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru might have come a little later, but they had been his just as much as Team, now Cell, Nine was hers.

Even with that history with the man who led the Village Hidden in the Leaves, both Orochimaru and Danzō had worked against it. The Snake Sannin had a style of horror all his own, but the Village Elder had a bit of his own flair for it.

There were exactly fifteen Konoha clan children in ROOT. There were, again, very few records about any of them, how they got there, and what they were intended for, but there were at least a few children from every major clan and a few of the minor ones. What paperwork there was hinted that some of them had been originally intended for Orochimaru's experimentation, horrifyingly enough.

The training part, which she had all those suspicions about, well… that was pretty much the last nail in Danzō's coffin. Next to the 'plotting to overthrow Hiruzen' one.

There had been a pair of ninja going through that mockery of a final exam, neither had survived the fight even after ANBU pulled the kids apart.

The secrecy gag on all of this would mean those kids would never be returned to their clans unless it could be proven they were stolen. There was a part of Natsumi that wanted to protest, the clans knew what to watch in their own for any unstable behavior. An Akimichi with an eating disorder was a nightmare to them, likewise for a Yamanaka who didn't have a problem simply raping a mind or two out of curiosity. That kind of thing could go very wrong very fast.

There was already a Mokuton user outside of the Senju clan and a pseudo Uzumaki in the village already. Natsumi didn't really want to try to set up caregivers for other clan children that had the elders to raise unholy hell about ninja with their clan skills popping up out of the ether.

Bastards did happen every now and again, Natsumi herself was one of those. Not in this volume, though, or in this concentration.

The fact ANBU was heeling under that gag order, even when it involved some of their own clans and children, was… part ninja obedience and part compromise.

It would probably end up being those clan ANBU slowly claiming the kids over the years, after training them up a little to the point they should've been at if they had been raised within their clans. Natsumi had quietly, with Mouse's help, spread that around to ensure Hiruzen's order was heeled to even by ANBU with split loyalty to the village and their clans. Mongoose hadn't had the time to mark out the gossip circles, and Bear was working too hard to help her manipulate their own into being patient.

Koichi had a little knowing smirk, though, when he took her message to Mouse for her.

"The medics managed to reattach Stag's tongue." Hiruzen informed the both of them, sounding as tired as she felt. "He will be assisting you both tomorrow, as long as he remains alive."

Natsumi huffed, frowning faintly. "Seriously, I only did that to remove the seal. Yeah, no anesthetics were used, but he can at least talk again."

Stag had been mute out of choice, before. She hadn't really cared if she removed his ability to speak, Inoichi would be able to go through the man's mind and assure her the ROOT training had worn off him before she allowed him anywhere near her, Mouse, or Koichi.

Danzō hadn't had access to a fūinjutsu master, or even a halfway decent user. Orochimaru had mocked together what he wanted, to keep his troops bound to him and silent.

If Orochimaru had spent more time devoted to researching fūinjutsu for Danzō instead of himself or understanding of seals anchored on humans when he did that mocking together; he would've told the man to attach the seal to a human near a chakra gate, not on removable appendages somewhat removed from the nearest one.

Every Konohagakure fūinjutsu master or user had at least taken a very long look into jinchūriki seals and the effects of Cursed Seals on the human body by now. Mostly for obvious reasons, her Cursed Seal removal and ninja curiosity about the freeloader in the hime's gut. Ibiki probably hadn't had a reason to yet, but he would eventually get around to asking her about something along those lines.

Komushi had… obvious reasons as to why he never did, but Natsumi had planned for being asked anyways. Even with Hiruzen's order on not telling him a thing about it, because that was a horrifying thing to screw up. She would never directly tell him, because her Hokage said not to, but there was something he had that would at least give him a very strong hint if he ever needed it.

Panther didn't even have to understand Danzō's seal or be cautious about removing it, she disrupted the seal and blew it up like a faulty explosive tag…

…after cutting the muscle out of the man's mouth.

The former _Ne_ member would probably sound funny for the rest of his life and now actually had a good reason to be mute all the damn time.

There had been some backlash from removing the seal like that, the false bodyguard hadn't been in a state able to inform the medics he had agreed to that before they tossed Panther from the room.

It was partly what had happened to her, when they removed the seal Orochimaru bit her with. Except Minato and Kushina managed to pry up and loosen some of the seal with their own chakra before setting it off, therefore there had only been a slight hole in Natsumi's neck and not a massive rent in her upper body. The medics had also strictly monitored her chakra system, ensuring there hadn't been a backlash from the gate in her neck that would've paralyzed her from the neck down.

She had come away from that with only a stiffly moving joint, a new scar, and the loss of her chakra control. Stag would fair even better, with only part of the muscle in his tongue removed and possibly little deviation to his chakra control.

That way wouldn't have helped the Hyūgas, blowing up their foreheads would probably remove their eyes and a good part of the brain. If that didn't kill them outright, the gate the old Cursed Seal of the Caged Bird was situated on top of a chakra gate in the forehead and a shockwave through that would've destroyed some of the bodily systems that relied on the brain to operate.

Stag no longer had a seal on his tongue now, holding him silent even if he wished to talk. He was also apparently breaking his _Ne_ conditioning, ever since being assigned to get close enough to assassinate her if Danzō needed him to.

ANBU life was strange, even for ANBU. Apparently it was enough to recondition ROOT members, to recall something else besides the mission they were on or their personal ones handed down from the Village Elder.

Seriously, she wondered who the hell Danzō collaborated with for brainwashing tips. They sucked, massively.

 _Ne_ conditioning might work and create little human automations out of ninja children, but it broke down over time without repeated exposure to the process or their controller. Given the right conditions, like Stag a ROOT member could start loosening that training to suppress their emotions.

Natsumi had spent eight years suppressing once, and she nearly went off the deep end.

Orochimaru had been better at brainwashing… possibly. Right? Or maybe he learned it from watching Danzō screw up a few times and refining the method over a stretch of years before getting routed as a traitor.

A ten year old Yamanaka could've done it better.

 _Natsumi_ could've-

She wrenched her thoughts from that line of thinking before it could continue, refocusing on Hiruzen.

He was giving her a look.

What? Oh… he knew what she did when pulling guard duties or anything else rather dull.

Danzō had caused massive problems and enabled a few very, _very_ bad things. Even with a few handfuls of ninja obeying only him. Hiruzen probably didn't want to hear how she would've done it better.

Bad Natsumi. _She_ didn't want to know how she would do the same damn shit.

"Sorry, Hiruzen-sama."

He looked between them again, still frowning.

"Go home, the both of you. This will wait."

She worked her jaw a moment, wanting to protest. They couldn't look that bad, could they?

"Of course, Hiruzen." Koharu merely bowed her head, sweeping pass the man.

Maybe they did.

Natsumi pressed her left hand to her eye, giving the kage a weary look out of her right. "Sir… I…"

"Go home, neko-chan. This will still be here tomorrow."

She was almost able to suppress the flinch, he paused as he realized why she twitched.

"Of course, Hiruzen-sama. Sorry."

The Sandaime heaved a heavy, smoky sigh. "You have a very exasperating ability to ferret out the darker sides to us, Natsumi-chan."

"I should've come to you with what I had, sir, even if it really wasn't all that much."

"I, and a few others, have gotten into the habit of using you as a troubleshooter over the years. We shouldn't complain when you find troubles we didn't know about." Hiruzen told her firmly, something passing lightning quick across his weather beaten face. "However, this was a problem in the making for thirty years. Danzō had a very long time to come to me with his problems, but he didn't. I cannot hold you accountable for his failings."

He nodded firmly to her, retreating out the door and leaving her alone. She watched him go silently.

Even still…

Natsumi could not directly move against the shinobi she knew didn't have Konohagakure's best interest at heart without solid evidence. Not only was accusing titans like Orochimaru or Danzō a daunting task, because the time before they gave her the evidence to do so they had supporters and admirers that would have torn her to pieces for it, but a sixteen-year-old kunoichi who just got jōnin rank or even a twenty-three-year-old ANBU captain accusing either well entrenched shinobi of treason without a reason would've only gotten a Yamanaka in her head to see what was wrong with her.

Now she might actually have the history and known experience to raise concerns without needing much evidence… a little late in her opinion.

Orochimaru, as a lead researcher of R&D and a ninjutsu specialist as well as the Snake Sannin, had kept up with all of his duties and experimented in his off time. There hadn't been anything wrong with the man on a day to day basis, nothing that screamed out he was killing child aged test subjects in droves during that time, making it hard for even Natsumi to really suspect the shinobi of doing what she had suspicions of him doing. Jiraiya and Tsunade hadn't even thought there might have been something wrong and they had spent more time with him than she had, the shock they both went through when the news reached them had left some very distinct marks on Orochimaru's physical form. Had she not known of Tenzou, even with her getting blindsided by Naomi, Natsumi wouldn't have believed it.

Danzō was obviously not a very personable person, but as a Village Elder and a retired shinobi that was perfectly acceptable. He had personified a shinobi's ideal end, even if he had no family to pass his skills on to, in that even his injuries accrued over his career hadn't slowed the man down much in his old age and he still served their village to the best of his abilities. Danzō just had… issues letting his control go. At hints that Hiruzen was feeling his age and might pass his responsibility on, the equally old man had apparently decided it should be his turn in the Hokage's seat.

They had left little evidence in their wake, too good in skill to allow for anything incriminating to escape their grasp. She had looked, patiently hunting rumors or trying to draw additional attention, but it all ended up being too late to do much good.

She had done what she could, tracing rumors and tidbits around like a dog chasing it's tail, but it still hadn't been enough to protect her most important people.

Orochimaru had put her in the hospital, but Fugaku had lost his mentor at the same time and Kushina learned her assistance for the Hyūga twins had been perverted. Jiraiya had lost a teammate, a rival, and someone who was all but a brother to him in one day.

Danzō had, indirectly or not, started a war early and killed her taicho. Sakumo had only five to seven more years of life than he would've had otherwise, leaving behind a widow and a baby girl this time around to add to his own son.

She had known the problems, but wasn't able to do much with what she had at the time.

Not much of a troubleshooter, was she?

(ooo000ooo)

"I will be ever so much happier when this is over with."

"And you still can't tell me what it is you're working on?"

Natsumi sighed, staring out at the tree stumps her anger had left in their back yard. "No… not unless Hiruzen-sama gives me permission to."

Shikaku moved one of his rooks on the game board before him, examining how that changed the set of pieces and what he could do to counter that. "Whatever you said to Fugaku helped, wife mine, he's less tense now."

She had given him the broken mask they used to distract Danzō for those last few seconds. The watchers on the Uchiha clan had been put into isolation when they checked in over the course of two days, all ten of them.

"Good."

He gave her a sideways look, but whatever he wanted to say was lost in the thump.

Confused, they both stared at each other until the house lit up with blue tracings as the seals embedded into the very walls came to life.

Natsumi dove off the porch after grabbing her sword resting besides her, whoever had tripped off her seals probably didn't notice them on the backyard porch but that was really only a matter of time.

Shikaku got up, ignoring the scattering shogi game, turning to place himself between his wife and whatever it was.

Whoever it was had just lost a person for no reason, and was also incredibly stupid in their choice of battleground. They weren't in the house, they were in the middle of Konoha, and they were facing off with the head of the Nara clan at _twilight_.

'What' didn't come from the house, but Shikaku's shadows snagged the individual and his partner anyways. Natsumi stabbed one through the chest as her husband broke the other in half, twisting to be sure, and ripped her katana out of him before she processed what it was.

'What'… was a ROOT agent.

Blinking, she almost failed to dodge in time.

Shikaku's black tendrils pierced the next attacker, ripping her out of the air and throwing them into a decently far tree trunk she hadn't chopped down yet. Recovering herself, Natsumi sidestepped the attacker after that one.

Stag crashed into the man before she could kill him, wrenching bones out of their socket with sickening ease.

While he was doing that, something else crashed into Natsumi from her left.

Struggling, she only managed to throw a kunai she drew when she lost contact with her sword, which was easily evaded by whoever had her. They crashed into her shed, an arm pinning her throat to the wood.

Danzō didn't look his best, without the bandages that normally covered his half burned face missing and a very irate expression.

Natsumi grinned in his face.

Minato viciously kicked the elder in the head, ripping him off her. Slamming a handful of blue chakra fire in ball form into the elder's back once she was free from range, _bouncing_ Danzō's form off the ground and throwing the man farther away from them both before skidding to a halt.

Then ANBU caught up, descending on Shimura and his remaining ROOT agents like a Nara's shadows.

Coughing a few times, she pinned the nearest captain with her worst glare. "Who the _fuck_ let him loose?"

Hawk pointed at Wombat, Fox was ignoring them all and restraining the rogue elder.

Said ninja just shrugged. "Those," he jerked his thumb at the remnants of the elder's black ops, "came for him. Don't know where they popped out of, Panther."

"Then use the isolation cells." Natsumi informed him nastily, rubbing the bruises that were probably forming on her throat. "They exist for a reason."

"We did."

She blinked at the man. "And _still?_ "

Hawk cocked his masked head. "Bear-sama wants you to actually take a look at those seals, instead of blowing up the next one you see."

Natsumi refused to feel bad about that. Stag was still an ass for being a _Ne_ plant.

There was a cough, drawing the gathered ANBU's attention to the bewildered blond jōnin and her massively confused husband standing in the yard with them.

Minato was dressed in the tank top and sweats he wore when lounging around his couch with a book, she didn't have the time to notice that before. He had some excellent response time even lazing about, though she was sure whatever book his nose had been buried in was probably thrown to the other side of his living room when he felt the tug of her hiraishin kunai reserved for emergencies.

The hime was probably still bewildered at being abandoned so quickly, they should send her a message or send Minato home soon.

There was also a steady drip of blood off his right hand, his left holding her emergency hiraishin kunai, the injuries probably caused from backlash when using the incomplete Rasengan technique without an elemental nature on the elder. She'd give him hell for it later, after taking a look at the chakra burns he had probably given himself with those rents in his skin from unstable chakra lashing out.

Who used a half-finished jutsu in a fight?

"Natsu? This counts as permission, _right?_ "

Natsumi rubbed the back of her neck. "I dearly hope so, Shika, otherwise this will be a fairly awkward night for all of us."

"I'm not in trouble, am I?" Minato asked warily, flicking his eyes from the ANBU agents to the Village Elder he had physically assaulted. It wasn't like he had the greatest vantage point from where she threw her kunai, from behind Danzō hadn't looked anything like his usual self. The man had still been attacking his sister, it wasn't like Minato would've cared to figure out who it was until he wasn't gripping her neck.

Hawk just shook his head then gave the S-rank jōnin a nod. "No. Thanks."

Wombat grabbed the stunned and suppressed former elder, hoisting him up in a fireman's carry. "Later Panther."

"Yeah, yeah. See if I invite you assholes over anymore." She dropped her arms to plant both on her hips. "Stag, go see what's wrong with the front of the house."

Her squad mate, and sure she'll keep him as long as he passed Inoichi's checks, hesitated out of sheer surprised for a moment before moving.

Shikaku pinned her with a look. "Traitors? Shimura-sama was a _traitor?_ "

Natsumi made a face at him. "What. The. _Hell_. Shika?"

He missed Minato's frantic motions to stop. "You're fairly predictable, Natsu. The only thing you ever get that massively pissed over is betrayal and traitors."

Her brother face palmed.

"I am _NOT_ predictable."

"Shikaku," Minato groaned, rubbing his face out of sheer exasperation, "sempai caused a _riot_ in the Inuzuka clan compound, let one of her students loose in T &I, and upset the Uchiha clan over something she refuses to talk about because she _thought_ she might be getting predictable."

Natsumi drew herself up stiffly, affronted. "I did _not_ upset the Uchihas. I gave them something to do other than glare around. And Ibiki's doing well over there, he's not loose or whatever."

Shikaku blinked a few times, working that through his head. "Where were you during this time?"

"I-"

"Wrapped up in the hime's arms." She answered instead of letting him do it. If he was tattling on her she would do the same.

Shikaku blinked at her, then gave a look to the faintly red faced Minato. Shaking his head, the man ran a hand over the scarred side of his face. "How did I get stuck with the both of you?"

"You married me, I'm your pain in the ass." Natsumi spoke in perfect dead-pan, then she jerked her thumb at Minato. "He comes with the package, alas."

Stag shunshined back, stalling any retort her husband could think up.

"The front door is missing," she reported from the man's hand signs, "and we're missing half of the study's walls. Idiot, should've gone through a window. Those were less protected."

Minato pinched the bridge of his nose. "Stop critiquing the people that try to kill us, sempai. I'm starting to worry."

Shikaku shook his head. "I don't want to know. We'll have to sleep in one of the guest houses tonight, Natsu."

"We have guest houses? When did this happen?" Natsumi demanded, rounding on her husband. "I could've stuck Komushi in one… oh you _ass._ "

It was his turn to draw himself up, sticking his nose in the air. "I am an ass? I just wanted time with my wife without an explosive student taking up her time."

"Had I known we had guest houses, I would've stuck Komushi in one from the beginning and you wouldn't have had to share."

Shikaku stalled out on that, frowning faintly. "Really? …damn."

By that time, the Nara clansmen on watch reached them. For a fight that lasted a whole minute, that wasn't really a great response time.

Looking between her husband and her brother, she resigned herself to a cover story that pinned the missing parts of the house's front on her. "Training accident. Really sorry, boys."

The oldest of those watchmen gave her a look.

" _Yes_ , I'm feeding you a line of bull. _Training accident_."

Minato coughed to cover a snicker.

"Masao, it's alright." Shikaku told the man, who Natsumi was sure was his third cousin or something similar. "Just… we can't speak of it. ANBU has already been by."

Masao sighed heavily, looking at the shattered slats of wood blown out of the side of the clan head's house. "Alright, Shikaku-sama. Training accident, at night. Wife's fault?"

All of them turned to look at her, even though she was sure her expression could only be call mulish.

One of the younger ones hesitantly spoke up. "Sparring accident?"

Natsumi brightened. She loved Naras. "We can blame Minato!"

Said blond squawked in wordless protest.

Hawk returned, bearing with him the paperwork she would need to inform both Shikaku and Minato of what had gone on, looking between the Nara watchmen and the three he was meeting up with.

Masao nodded firmly at his clan head, ushering away his fellows. "Sparring accident. Be more careful, Minato-san."

"Hey…" The jōnin in question protested weakly, trailing off when none of the Naras corrected that.

(ooo000ooo)

"Sensei has other students?"

It was the only question Minato had asked her so far while she wrapped up his hand, and Natsumi sighed as she tidied up the medical supplies she rescued out of their master bathroom.

The adrenalin had worn off, taking her momentary good mood of seeing Minato kick Danzō's ass for her with it. The conversation had done it's work anyways, anyone that had listened in on them after the fight would've only got a whole lot of gossip they could've gotten elsewhere until they could secure someplace to actually talk.

"Yeah, in Amegakure no Sato apparently. The mission that cost taicho his life was ROOT going out to support Hanzō's attempt to kill them. In return, Hanzō was going to assist Danzō in taking Hiruzen-sama's hat."

Didn't that majorly suck? She had directed their jōnin-sensei out there, hoping Nagato would be enough to keep their joint teacher alive against both _Ne_ and Hanzō the Salamander. Instead, ROOT wouldn't be out there, leaving just the original Akatsuki against whatever elements the kage-level leader of Ame could draw together to try and kill them off with.

That would probably not end the same way. Sakumo had, even if it killed him in the end, destroyed the _Ne_ team impersonating Konohagakure ANBU.

Hanzō had gone strange, he had shut himself away thinking his skills were too powerful. However, even Danzō's spies had noted a significant decrease in strength in the man. Even _Hiruzen_ hit the training fields sometimes. Randomly, but you could still come across an ANBU guarded training field where the man refined some of his skills.

The Toad Sage might have only just survived pitch combat with his team against him ten years ago, but right now probably wasn't much of a contest.

Jiraiya would probably be back in a few weeks or maybe a month, and she didn't really want to know what the man would do when informed of Sakumo's death and what had killed him. Konohagakure hadn't announced it but they weren't hiding it either, which would mean one of his two students that knew the full situation should probably send him a message about the legal fiction in place.

Natsumi tiredly wiped her face clear again, since she could never think of her taicho without crying at least a little.

Shikaku was kneading her thighs under the guest house's dinner table, since she was hauled into his lap the moment the waterworks started.

"Is that all we need to know?"

"I'm working with Utatane-sama, trying to pull apart what Danzō was doing with his time and rogue assets, but that's slow going. He was a damn fine shinobi, there's little of anything to look into if you don't know what to look for." She couldn't tell them about the kids, as that wasn't part of the paperwork Hiruzen sent her, nor anything about ROOT being pulled into ANBU and who had once not been ANBU originally. "There'll be a little more help with that tomorrow, one of the recovering infiltrators will be available then."

Natsumi didn't clarify which way that infiltrator went, Stag would be safe from her husband's wrath for a little while… but he was still an ass.

They also didn't ask.

"In hindsight, I'm rather surprised you didn't kill him during the funeral, sempai."

"Broke my thumb, instead. I also couldn't look at the traitor, which tipped Utatane-sama off."

\V/

Natsumi approached the KIA Memorial Stone, frowning and uneasy.

She had never let herself think about everyone she would never see again, knowing that was a rocky path for her with everyone she had lost. Add to that her disbelief that anyone she knew would hear her, since they theorized she was a reincarnation of an ancient warrior's soul in another body… this seemed rather pointless of an exercise.

Still, she needed something to work out the last of the aching grief from herself.

Kakashi had done it himself in another life, so it had to work somewhat, right?

Pulling out the sealing tag she was rather well-known for, a secrecy seal Minato somehow knew well enough to place with his foot when he needed to, she smoothed it down before the slab on the space left for incense and flowers.

"You weren't allowed to die, you know. I might have forgotten to tell you that, but you didn't have permission for dying on us."

Eri was… pale and drawn, but looked to have at least half expected to be made a widow. Ninjas didn't have the greatest life expectancy, and retirees from the jōnin-track were still rare.

Sakumo had almost beaten the odds.

"And you couldn't wait a year or two? I… Hizashi and Misaki are married, they tied the knot shortly before we deployed this last time. I expect their pregnancy announcement in a few months. Shikaku and I probably will have to wait a year more for me, given my health, but we should…"

Kakashi was getting to that stiff point of grief, denying that his father was gone… even if it was only in his head. Natsumi understood, half the reason why she hadn't broken down when helping Eri was she had fooled herself in thinking Sakumo's mission was just a little longer than she had thought it was.

Midori was… just a very unhappy baby. Sakumo's old training shirts were helping her, but that wouldn't last and was little more than a crutch.

"…we should be expecting in a year and a half, by two at tops. Inoichi's girl looks to be a winner, even if I haven't met her yet. He's very reluctant to introduce us for some reason. Momo would just like to be proposed to, but I think Chouza's waiting on him to give the go ahead."

Sakumo would've snorted, ruffling her hair and telling her it was her fault for accepting a Nara's proposal. If she had wanted children sooner, she should've looked for someone less lazy.

"I don't really know what I'm hoping for, if I want a boy," _Shikamaru_ , "or a girl. All I know, and I've driven the point home to Shika too, is that there will be two of them. Hopefully one of each."

Her old taicho would've hummed, telling her good luck in a very bland tone and a secret kind of smirk on his face.

Even if he gave her husband grief about the lazy thing, Shikaku and Sakumo had gotten on well. Enough that he merely grinned when she showed up with her husband in tow to bother him after they were all home from whatever they had been doing.

"But I really, really wanted you there for that. Because while I know Shikaku's smart, pregnancy alone will probably baffle him. I know the changes, chemically and physically, but there really is no telling what I'll be like. You lived it before, he would've run to his father or you for every damn thing he got stumped by. And I wanted… I wanted you _there_ for the labor…"

Oh that was a bad train of thought. Natsumi bit her lip, desperately not thinking of what her old man would've done after that statement.

"The… t-the Kuramas will know." She told the rock instead, trying to smooth out her breathing. "You wanted to be the one to kick them where it hurt for that, but Shika's going to have to do it. It wasn't like they couldn't know I was kaa-chan's daughter, the eyes are a little distinctive, but I never used any high level illusions in the village before. My inability to use most genjutsu worked for me there, up till now anyways. Homura-sama was exonerated, he'll inform the clan that someone made a physical affecting illusion and that someone was in ANBU or the Hunter-nin Divisions."

They had no claim, she had passed the age of sixteen and was a jōnin of Konohagakure. Her ninja work superseded any questionable bloodline and as a bastard child the clan had until she reached the age of sixteen or jōnin rank to put in a claim for her.

The Hatake and Nara clans had claimed her instead.

They would still probably try, the Kurama clan was slowly dying from inbreeding and weak constitutions.

She was… and example of hybrid health, in a way. Either way, marrying your cousin wasn't the best way to increase genetic traits.

Sakumo had been with her when she received Mana's letter, when the orphanage caretaker that should've given it to her when she graduated the academy died from old age. It wasn't her fault, Natsumi had disappeared out of the orphanage without so much as a by your leave and there had been a lot of ninja children passing through that building because of the Second War.

That letter had explained what her second birth mother had done when the Kurama clan refused to acknowledge her existence, and what Natsumi's options were. Her taicho had looked into it, using his rank and rights as a jōnin of the Leaf to fully investigate a bastard's rights in the village, and admitted her mother had been a crafty _bitch_. As long as Natsumi had a clan behind her, the paperwork Mana had gotten the old head of the Kurama clan to sign basically freed her from any interference from them.

A ninja's revenge wasn't a pleasant thing if you were the target. However removed from life that kunoichi in question who set it up was.

Sakumo had signed it, that same day. Shikaku had looked confused at that, but countersigned her taicho on the old paper when she placed it in front of him after the wedding.

That had been the day she accepted Mana as one of her mothers, up there with Iris Hanson and Hatake Eri for the effort those women put into making sure she was happy and cared for.

She kept those papers carefully locked and seal away, Mana's effort to ensure her daughter had her own life unrestricted by the Kurama clan… however late they realized Mesuji Natsumi was someone to be proud of.

The paperwork hadn't even been creased when Danzō directed a few of his ROOT agents to attack the Nara clan head's house. Mostly because it wasn't there.

One of the three copies she made had gone missing, the one filed with the village. Even if that was really gone and not misfiled, there was still the copy in the Nara clan library and the one Kakashi could fetch out of the Hatake clan's storeroom as well as the original with all three verifiable signatures she had safely sealed away. The original was supposed to be with the village, but Natsumi was a jōnin, ANBU captain, and a paranoid bitch. It was sealed into Hiruzen's office, near his bookcase and the floor where Panther usually spent her time when on guard for the old man.

You couldn't get more secure than the Hokage's office. Not in Konohagakure.

Natsumi's mismatched eyes drifted to the engraved kanji spelling out _Mesuji Mana_ on the stone's polished face. Seven lines over, five names up from _Hatake Sakumo_.

"You can meet her now, you always did wonder what kaa-chan was like in person. If she had the same streak of mischief I have. I want to know too, cause this was rather… new."

Fiona Hanson had been a hard ass, her sense of humor had been more understated. The sadistic perversion part was her, Natsumi knew, but the puns and bad jokes she and Chouza really did think were funny was only a recent development, comparatively. Fiona would never had made someone spew out what they were drinking out of shocked horror. That was Natsumi.

Quail at the subject matter, yes.

They were perverts, the both of them.

Sorting out what was Fiona and what was Natsumi wasn't really a good idea, but pure human curiosity wouldn't let her forget anything like that.

"I-I would also like to know what of my features is her and not…"

She could probably figure it out, but the single clan in Konohagakure that had never gotten a visit from the Nara clan's Lady was the Kurama one. Natsumi didn't want to see one of her features in them.

The shinobi that donated the genetic material to create her was not one of her fathers.

Eric Hanson and Hatake Sakumo were.

There were parallels she wished she really could un-see between her lives. She had buried two fathers before any child should have to, both of who had taught her their skills and spent lazy days with her using them. Admittedly the craft of shaping wood and the ninja art of the sword were vastly different skills… but they were both something those men had used to support themselves and their families. Then they shared that with her.

Hopefully Eri would evade the pitfall Iris fell into, and not become a pale shadow of herself out of grief. It didn't look like it would happen, and Natsumi had spent what effort she could muster in drawing Eri out of her grief enough to see her children and not the shadow of the man she loved so in them.

That hurt, when you realized why your mother couldn't look at you fully.

Kakashi might still wear that half-mask all the damn time out of fear of his mother confusing him for his father, even when he was home and unfamiliar scents wouldn't give him a headache. That… looked inevitable. He did look a lot like his father, which got him teased about being the man's mini-me a lot.

Though from the way Kakashi was growing, and from what she recalled from a story in another life, the barely teenage chūnin would grow to have his mother's frame and his father's looks and height.

"You can meet them, too," her original parents, hale and whole like they hadn't been since Fiona was sixteen, "they would like you, and not just because of me. Tell them… that their child isn't quite done yet. I've got others that need me still. Kami knows Minato's an idiot, and he's spreading that to the hime."

Minato led by example, and half the time he still didn't realize he was doing it. So if he was going to be a self-sacrificing idiot, his wife would naturally follow his footsteps.

She had just a little more time to beat self-preservation into his thick head while she could, and a possible invasion to plan for.

"I'll watch over Eri-kaa-chan for you, taicho. Don't worry."

How many times had she told him this? She lost count when she was seventeen here.

"…but you owe me dango money."

\V/

Obito followed Kakashi down a street, heading to the market to pick up Eri-sama some ingredients so she could keep feeding the ninja that kept checking up on her.

He would admit this last month had sucked massively for his prickly teammate.

Yeah, he got his older sister's legendary sword. Obito would dearly love to know how the kunoichi got the blade and why she was considered a member of the Hatake clan when she was a Nara, but he could wait to ask when Kakashi wouldn't necessarily bite his head off for questioning the kunoichi's place.

He had been the one the Hatake heir had bitterly ranted to after the funeral, for the snub two of the three Village Elders had shown Natsumi-sama when she had been standing next to Eri-sama.

That achievement paled rather sharply against losing his father before he could even be informed his son beat his pseudo-sister in a spar.

Minato-sensei had informed him and Rin of Hatake Sakumo's death, and why Kakashi hadn't shown up to team training before Obito managed to get out there, barely a week after witnessing that kenjutsu spar. Obito had gone home to hug his father when the partial team had been dismissed, horrified. The civilian man had been confused when he hugged his child back, but even the baker had heard the news his ninja offspring had before him by nightfall and had that understanding look to him later that made Obito proud to be his son.

Then he jumped at the offer their sensei had made the very next day, of checking up on the Hatake clan and their other teammate.

No matter how much of an uptight asshole Kakashi acted, Obito didn't feel like leaving him to deal with that alone.

Teams stuck together in Konohagakure, even if one or two were complete dicks.

Their teammate hadn't even blinked when he opened his compound's gates for them, he just left the way open and returned to his fussing sister.

Obito had learned a lot about Kakashi over the last two weeks, a lot he never would've thought of it the chūnin had been in a better place to care enough to hide his few soft spots like usual.

"Oi, we're there. Stop already."

The Uchiha stopped in his tracks, realizing they were about to pass the open air market. Rather, he was. Kakashi was back a few feet.

Obito ignored the lazy look, he had copied it from Shikaku-sama after a nap rather than really being totally disinterested in what his teammates were doing, and grinned. "So what are you waiting for? An engraved invitation? Go get what your Kaa-sama wanted."

The Nara was better than Kakashi at that look.

The genius hesitated, glancing disinterestedly at the stalls.

Obito blinked behind his goggles and backtracked his steps hastily. Kakashi had been using him as a meat shield against the well wishes and condolences most of the civilians felt necessary to tell him every time they caught sight of him. He was cheerful on a daily basis and had the social skills to maneuver conversation to his liking, his teammate wasn't sociable by any stretch of the imagination.

"Sorry, got a little lost."

"In your head?" But Kakashi started walking again, strolling down the street to the fish stall. "I'm impressed, truly."

"I have mad skills in getting lost." Obito would admit it, sometimes he didn't know how he got into the things he did.

The Uchiha distracted two people before they could hound Kakashi about his father, leaving the prodigy to buy the salmon they were out here to get.

"I need another name to call you."

His teammate actually looked rather surprised at that abrupt comment. "What?"

They were almost out of the market, in a small pocket that didn't allow either ninja's hair to be seen over or around the other customers.

"I refuse to call you a bastard anymore." Obito clarified, scuffing his ninja sandal on the street. "Give me a different name, or I'll make one up."

Hatake Sakumo, from what the Uchiha had managed to hear in the last week, had been rather awesome of a shinobi. He would admit 'bastard' had been a particularly bad idea on his end.

Was it any wonder Kakashi had reacted so badly to that slight against his family? Anyone would've been proud of having Sakumo as a father. The best tidbit the Uchiha genin heard was the few if any dead teammates of the man's. That was impressive, especially in their line of work.

Kakashi hesitated again, folding the wax paper on the salmon over again to keep flies out of it for something to do with his hands. "Nee-chan sometimes calls me an old man."

Obito thought about it. "That works."


	19. Forging A New Path

_Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have._

_\- Margaret Mead_

* * *

Natsumi placed a shovel in Gai's hands, still practically pulling the wheelbarrow over the grassy ground by muscle power alone.

Her sometimes over enthusiastic chūnin taijutsu user beamed at the field and then turned that sparkly grin on her. "If we do not plant all ten trees by noon, sensei, what should we do?"

"Oh… how about… run ten laps on the village walls, sideways."

Gai's grin got even wider, how that was possible she wasn't entirely sure. "Yosh! Good one, sensei."

Chakra control and stamina, he did have to work on one of those a bit more than any regular chūnin did and all taijutsu users could use more stamina. Natsumi quirked a smirk back at him, gesturing for him to pick where the first of many trees they would replant would go.

When a ninja destroyed a training grounds, it was a half 'well it needed to be bigger anyways' and half 'you're fixing it' kind of situation. Teams were assigned, or reserved, a particular field for their usual training and team meeting routine. That didn't mean ninjas would not visit other fields, but they usually only got destructive on their own turf instead of on someone else's.

It started with Team One being assigned Training Grounds One then so on and so forth, but that was back when the village had been new. It didn't work out that way at all anymore, because this was Training Grounds Three and her team had been Team Nine before switching to a chūnin Cell Nine. That didn't include clan compound training grounds, and when ninja opted to train in their own fields when the rest of their team was either killed off or injured some of those assigned fields opened up to be reassigned to whole teams again before the next Team whatever was formed up out of the academy.

The Training Grounds One through Twenty-Five were reserved for genin teams, or at least were supposed to be. Cell Nine would have to give up Training Grounds Three eventually, and Natsumi would get them another field probably a little closer to the Nara clan compound, but it was still theirs until the next graduating class of genin were assigned teams and fields.

There were also the free-for-all fields any ninja could reserve time in; Five, Eighteen, Twenty-Three, and Forty-Four among them. Those held elaborate obstacle courses or specific terrain types that might show up during missions; Five was a literal swamp of a field, Eighteen was a carefully sculpted mockup of Earth's usual terrain, and Twenty-Three was almost an exact replica of a typical Fire Country civilian village complete with a farmer's field.

Those were built when a team realized having a training field to work tactics within a certain situations were needed and applied to the Tower's training grounds oversight committee about getting one or two… or built it themselves.

Five had been made when a suiton jutsu expert decided to get nasty for being picked on a time too many, so he turned their training field into a swamp and failed to inform his teammates before the next team meeting. The fact it remained a swamp was because a passing shinobi team asked to use it to prepare for a mission to the Land of Swamps, making that revenge rather useful to the village and keeping that suiton expert from getting into trouble for screwing around with their field's ecological system as he had.

He still paid for the Aburame clan to stock the field with the insects a swamp needed to be healthy, and was still in charge of ensuring the field didn't dry out.

Forty-Four was… an _exceptional_ example of a forest of death, the basis for the mid-level genjutsu rather infamous for being cast when you pissed a Konohagakure no Sato genjutsu user off.

Imitation was the sincerest form of flattery, and Leaf-nin were very proud of their deathtrap of a forest.

It was also why chūnin exams held in Konohagakure had something to do with that field, usually survival courses.

The Village Hidden in the Leaves might be known as the village of hippy shinobi tree-huggers, and they did use that reputation with all the ruthlessness they could when able; but going from 'peaceful forested village' to 'death-trap wilderness' usually got a lot of those foreign genin second-guessing themselves for being confident they could take on those hippy ninja children in a fight.

Natsumi sometimes couldn't really believe she was thought as one of those hippies, too. It still bemused her, when an Iwa-nin or Kumo-nin sneered in her face after spotting her hitai-ate.

They usually desperately regretted that before dying, she had her own pride to carter to.

She also had what amounted to two different professional militaries drilling professionalism and responsibility into her very being, and despite how 'free-spirited' she could sometimes act Natsumi did have a very strict code of ethics she heeled to. That might be discarded when Konohagakure asked of her something not even a psychopath would enjoy, but she refused to ignore her own ethics when not behind a clay mask.

That ethic and professionalism told her to fix the grounds after Gai finished showing off how easily he could break trees in half with his taijutsu conditioning, so they were fixing the grounds.

Maybe a little later than usual… but they still were fixing them.

The fact she had used this as an excuse to not continue going through Danzō's paperwork for a few days was beside the point. She and Koharu still hadn't even gotten through half that yet, and the migraine was trying to kill her from the inside out even with Stag helping as much as he could. Inoichi was still being briefed on the parts he would know, help from that corner was still a few days away.

Natsumi had spent the previous day digging a few saplings out of the Nara's Forest, picking from the young trees Shikaku pointed out to her would eventually need to be cut down to ensure the deer herd had enough room to roam safely. She might even plant a few more to make up for her going postal on the trees that used to frame their home.

Sometimes her intuitive abilities were a curse. Spotting why or how this or that fact changed some of her perceptions of the Hidden Countries wasn't fun when trying to decide if this or that mission mentioned in the rogue elder's notes had influenced this or that issue she had already noted in the world around her.

Hiruzen had asked her, though, so she would do it no matter how much she simply wanted to bury it in the Hatake clan's yard like one of Kakashi's Dogs. She was still a little wary around the Hokage, because he _was_ a kage and if he lost his patience with her that wouldn't ever be apparent unless he wanted her to know.

If he had and wanted her to know, it wouldn't be until too late for her. She didn't have the greatest of reputations, Hiruzen's tolerance of her antics would be something she probably couldn't afford losing.

Natsumi's momentary distraction from their purpose was noted, she realized it as she caught Gai giving her a measuring look out of the corner of his eye.

No, she _refused_ to believe she was so bad at this ninja thing that a chūnin, perceptive or not, could catch wind of her depression. Shikaku, Minato and Inoichi were one thing, they knew her pretty damn well. Gai was supposed to still believe nothing could make her stumble and she had the answer to everything.

Where was the fun in being a jōnin-sensei if your brats didn't think the sun and moon rose and set by your command?

"So? Do you know where we're planting them or not?"

He started, because even if he was well on his way to becoming the Green Beast of Konohagakure he was still her training obsessed student right now and she caught it, but pulled a very shiny grin in her direction.

"Should we keep a wider clearing or break it up a little, sensei?"

"Your choice, but know if you have more room it will take you and your teammates longer to get out of my reach and if you have less I can trap you with it."

Gai processed that for a long moment, a mischievous twitch to his otherwise honest smile. "Less then, sensei. Even I can't evade you when you are being sly and the challenge would be interesting."

The fact it would pay back both his teammates for leaving them to do this on their own notwithstanding, supposedly.

Natsumi just shook her head with a small smirk and motioned him to start digging. She couldn't decide if it was really bad, or really good, that Gai had picked up her sly mischief and emulated it somewhat. In his own way, true, but she could see a little of her or Tsume's usual mannerisms in all three of her students sometimes.

Oddly, hanging out with her brats soothed that pounding pain behind her right eye. Too bad she couldn't ignore the Danzō situation and go back to only being the jōnin leader of Team Nine.

Life had been a lot more simple back then, middle of a war or not.

\V/

Natsumi was of the opinion that if you proved to be a traitorous little fuck, you should die for it as soon as possible. No reason to further contaminate the gene pool even a little with said stupidity.

She was, apparently, in the minority with that belief. Orochimaru hadn't died the moment he proved to be an asshole either.

Shimura Danzō stared dully at her, manacled and chained to a stationary position for these few hours set aside for whatever he wanted to talk about. She wasn't fooled and blankly stared back.

Minato was awesome, because not only did he kick a Village Elder in the head for her he knew their sensei's seal work enough to do that five element containment seal and planted it on Danzō the moment he was told he would be guarding her while she dealt with the ass.

It was a little depressing she needed him to get her revenge for Sakumo-taicho's death, but he was fast outstripping her in terms of power and skill. He was really one of the handful of people she had left in this life who would bother to do something for her just because he thought it might make her feel better and not because he wanted something from her.

Natsumi wasn't entirely sure what Hiruzen was doing with keeping Danzō alive, but this was an old childhood friend of the man's even if he had gone strange.

Why it was both her brother and her were the ones to bring the rogue elder his meals and be the only ones he saw, she didn't really know.

She had guesses, but that was it.

Shimura Danzō, as a shinobi who survived the demise of two Hokages, two wars, the building of their village, and all the upheavals and problems that came with it, had a very good poker face. He refined the poker face to the point Natsumi was sure he could effortlessly clear out Tsunade's pockets if he ever wanted to.

Nara Natsumi, on the other hand, regularly associated with the genius head of the Yamanaka clan and helped both the mind walker clan and her village with her psychology skills when they needed someone not of the clan but with some of the skills of one.

That boiled down to a staring contest between him and her, Minato watching them passively from the far wall.

Interrogation basics. If you were the one with questions you did not speak first, to establish your dominance and control in the conversation.

Instead, for the last four days and however more it would take to make the elder crack, Natsumi let her mind wander over the situation and just kept staring.

Danzō… was a colossal ass, but still a good shinobi. His ROOT faction had been needed in the beginning, part of the reason why he got so far into things that wasn't in the Leaf's best interest without being challenged for it, and that need allowed him to refine and perfect staying out of the barest hint of light when his operatives were concerned.

Nonō had been part of that, a spy's spy with a wandering country doctor's reputation. A blessing to the civilians of Fire Country, and a subject to be taken advantage of by shinobi… even if she did the advantage taking in the end. She, and at least the spy with iryou-nin skills had collaborated it when ordered to by Hiruzen, had been one of Danzō's best rumor gatherers and contact points during her wanderings before her retirement from ROOT.

Why there was only one known retiree from _Ne_ , Natsumi was determinedly _not_ thinking about.

In the first few years of establishing even an already founded military village as something dependable to rely on, that kind of free-handed blanket permission wasn't only allowable but desperately needed.

Hiruzen and the still fledgling ANBU Division alone wouldn't have had the time or personnel to handle everything, Danzō and ROOT had picked up where they dropped the ball and ensured the Leaf had the best of any and all options. A shadow behind the Third who caught the things that tended to fall through the cracks of something brittle and new. The Second War had only exaggerated that need, a four-way war while everyone was figuring out boundaries, territories, and which neighbor they hated the most or which one was sort of okay, because there were more battlefields than leading ninja to watch them develop for a single man to keep track of.

No matter how good Hiruzen was, after the deaths or banishment of their village's founders' things had to have been dicey for them for at least a little while.

The half a decade break in the fighting hadn't been good for _Ne_ though, from all the accounts Natsumi and Koharu had found or pieced together.

After the Second War, ROOT got far less and less work to justify it's existence. ANBU, though still being built up enough to not lose their better ninja in a bare handful of years, started having the surplus of manpower to start tackling some of the longstanding problems that had originally been part of the permission Hiruzen had handed his childhood friend when the kage realized he needed the help. ANBU captains now could concentrate on their own missions and squads, instead of micromanaging two or three teams of ninja like how her poor Wolf-taicho had to when she had started ANBU life. There were more squads able to take on some of those missions which otherwise might have been denied only due to the lack of ninja to take it, more to watch their own and ensure the Senju Hokages' Will of Fire was being held to even in the darkest points of their missions.

ANBU alone hadn't been the only thing spreading out once the fighting was over, though, the shinobi clans had too.

Inoichi might have started a few years early, but his takeover of T&I with the blessing of his clan elders was only the start of it. Like Natsumi had both thought of and told Fugaku, the shinobi clans of Konohagakure no Sato were starting to spread out beyond their clan compounds.

The Uchiha might have always had the Military Police, by decree of the Second no less, but the lulls in fighting made the other clans try to figure out what use they would be to the village if their combat skills weren't needed so much anymore. It was part ninja mentality and part human nature, people liked having responsibilities to handle and ninja needed to be thought of as useful or they started questioning their lifestyles and sacrifices.

The Yamanakas and T&I, Inuzukas and the Vet Clinic, Akimichis and the Merchant Council, all the tracking skilled clans shared the Hunter-nin Division, Naras and the Shinobi Academy; those were symptoms of a much greater social development in the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

If left unchecked, Danzō would've put a screeching halt to that.

The Uchiha Clan Massacre would've done more than just lose the Leaf one of her founding shinobi clans, no clan would want to stretch out into the village's central workings if it meant they too might be slaughtered for overreaching themselves. Had one of those other ninja clans reached their hand into Danzō's sphere of influence, Natsumi wondered if he would've arranged their deaths too.

She did wonder if one or two of the minor clans she knew of had been killed in that other story, because a few of them were interesting and unusual enough to catch her attention and make her wonder why she didn't know of them before. Those were small clans, like the Hatake clan in encompassing only a family or the Senju clan that had only a few shinobi left, but still interesting to encounter.

It would've taken generations for someone to restart that social growth, stunting Konoha's development as a whole village until she was far behind her competitors. As a military village that bloodline purge would've also harmed the Leaf in the end, because instead of one of their noble, and populous, shinobi clans handling one of Konohagakure's village services other ninja would've had to be pulled from running missions to do Police work.

None of the clans would've picked up the Military Police after the Uchihas were gone, not only would it be like spitting on their former comrades' graves but it might have led to their own deaths… and unless someone could prove without a shadow of a doubt it hadn't caused or helped along the Uchiha Massacre the clans would've avoided the hell out of being assigned that duty.

That wasn't even taking into account the problems suddenly having _no_ Uchihas would've done to the mission intake or reputation of the village. Half of those minor clans probably would've fled the moment they heard, not having the numbers to sustain any real information pipes that would've reassured them that the Massacre wouldn't happen to them too or feel useful enough to brave the fallout of a noble clan's destruction.

Even if Uchiha Itachi officially took on the blame, to kill about two hundred and fifty people in a few hours was something only the Yondaime would've been able to do alone. Namikaze Minato needed those people in the same battlefield as well, because the ninja had to be nearby or he wouldn't have the time to search them out and kill them. No one would want to compare the evil or insane genius Uchiha heir and their beloved but deceased Fourth Hokage, making that blame laying at poor Itachi-chan's feet seem rather shifty to most of the older ninjas.

Natsumi was pretty sure the kid had help doing that, but if that help had been ROOT or someone else she couldn't recall.

Hiruzen had probably only just prevented the truth from getting out when he was dealing with that in the other story. Sauske being the only survivor had probably only just helped or hindered the efforts a little. On one hand he was Itachi's beloved little brother, on the other his family had been wiped out when he was still young enough not to be in the academy officially training for ninja life.

Shimura was a damn good shinobi, yes. Not much of a visionary or long-term planner, because Natsumi still didn't know what possessed him to go after the Uchihas and possibly start all those problems within their own damn village. It wasn't even the Fourth's death, like she had cautiously assumed started his suspicions of the Uchiha clan years ago, because he was already putting pressure on them now and Minato had yet to try to sacrifice himself stupidly.

Danzō also had issues with losing control though, and he let those issues cause him to try a traitor's work on for size.

Losing part of the work your black ops were responsible for?

The elder's answer to that had been to start another war, preferably as bad and as wide spread as the one they had put down a decade and some before.

The Third War might have been inevitable, but there might have been a bit more time between conflicts if Danzō hadn't agitated the situation.

Sakumo starting the Third War in that other story had probably taken even this elder by surprise, making her wonder-

Natsumi cut that off and redirected her attention to another thought.

Iwagakure probably wouldn't have tried to take on Konoha so soon without a few more tests of their defenses if there hadn't been ROOT agents confusing the hell out of them. Kumo probably would subside a bit, but would also probably get into a pissing contest with Konoha before long and get into the nearly finished war thinking the Leaf was weary of fighting.

The damage was already done, it was trying to clean up after this rogue elder that was the problem.

If she thought about it, about Kakashi's other life and the possible fates that awaited Obito and Itachi down another path, she would be tempted to go ahead and perforate the old man's corpse a few times.

That, all of it, had probably been because Danzō was afraid to be what he saw as _useless_.

The fact he was still alive after all that annoyed Natsumi, to the point she would really rather not test her self-control like this. Whatever remained of _Ne_ might get wind of his survival, they had to know because those seals on their tongues would disappear if something permanently lethal happened to the seal's binder, and break him out even with their precautions. A rogue elder wasn't great news for Konohagakure, but a free-ranging rogue elder would be worse.

Shimura, as one of their Village Elders, knew a great deal of the Leaf's dirty laundry. He had to, because if the elders were going to be good advisors for Hiruzen to lean on they had to know all about a problem or two in order to do that advising. Danzō had double checked ANBU and foreign relations; Homura looked after jōnin and the village's military services; Koharu the chūnin, genin, and civilian services.

Natsumi thought about that again, something niggled at her that it was important.

Uchiha methods then, he might know Yamanaka ones too well.

Finally she turned to Minato, who was looking at her with some confusion because she normally didn't twitch during these staring contests.

"Did you send word to sensei yet?"

"About everything?" He asked instead of questioning what she was doing, ignoring the elder like she had. "Not yet. Why?"

"We're never going to know what Komushi's face was like unless he uses his channels."

Minato hummed, an understanding glint to his blue eyes. "I don't know, that kid you keep trading letters with might."

"I won't abuse the arrangement I have with Sasori-kun for that. Komushi was my student after becoming his best friend."

A small crease appeared on the ignored elder's brow, Natsumi kept pretending to take no notice of him.

"Did you hear where he went? Earth, I was so surprised. He was out there with us, if you didn't catch sight of him before that night."

"Well, he did specialize in your secrecy and security seals." Minato reminded her lightly with a small smirk. "As well as my hime's barriers."

"I still can't understand that. Why _barriers?_ " She huffed, as barriers were something she never got the hang of. Komushi's initial skill with them were all the Uzumaki Princess' fault.

"Ask Inoichi that if you really want to know."

Sticking her nose in the air, Natsumi moved to leave Danzō alone in the room. "I don't need Inoichi, I can figure that out if I really wanted. He comes in on this tomorrow, you know."

"I heard."

"I'm going to heckle him about sharing custody with me for one of my students."

Minato snorted, more out of surprise than the content of that statement. "I have to ask, sempai; _Why?_ "

"Cause my student is just that good, someone needs to brag about his skills."

"Who?"

Minato rolled his eyes at her victorious smirk.

Natsumi turned to Danzō and gave him a bored glance. "Why do you care? See you tomorrow, Danzō."

She flounced out, content in her victory in getting the elder to break his silence. Minato followed quietly, giving the keys to the elder's chains to the ANBU guard detail.

"So… annoying him to talk?" He asked as they passed the start of the underground labyrinth beneath their village's main streets.

The tunnels connected nearly every major part of Konohagakure; the Tower, T&I, ANBU HQ, the Hunter-nin HQ. Every twist and turn had different security checks, to get past one you needed an ANBU tattoo, a Hunter-nin mask, passwords, hand signs, some token to say you came from beyond one point, and for others you just needed a hitai-ate; but it was possible to reach ANBU headquarters by finding one of the entrances.

It would be a long ass walk, because going around the surface was easier for them to control so that difficulty was done on purpose, but possible.

"More like dangling something interesting in front of his nose, or the abuse of ninja skills and trading favors for something he thinks is petty. Anything to get this over with faster." Natsumi sighed, raking a hand through the loose part of her ponytail. She hadn't had the energy to put it up like usual lately. "He was so afraid of being sidelined he did all that crap that ended up killing my taicho, being ignored in favor of idle gossip has to hurt a bit."

If she wasn't allowed to physically break him, breaking his mind and pride into _pieces_ would work for her.

Minato managed that physical breaking for her already, the elder would probably never walk again from getting a half-formed jutsu rammed into his spine. The chakra caused damage alone probably would've cost Danzō a few years off his lifespan if he didn't end up executed before that.

Without the Mokuton gene therapy, he couldn't recover from those kinds of injuries or prevent old age from tarnishing his body and skills. He was less of a threat now, but that didn't mean his mind didn't work just as well as Hiruzen's.

Minato bumped shoulders with her as they passed a checkpoint. "Whatever helps, sempai."

"Yeah, yeah. Ibiki _is_ awesome, though."

Inoichi formally meeting one of his newest interrogators had been something to watch. Natsumi had lucked out and went to visit her student for something to do, someone warned Inoichi she was there, and the meeting had been… interesting.

Ibiki had scowled, taking in Inoichi's blond pretty boy features and his air of concerned competence he wore when dealing with friends. Inoichi had blinked in return, dropping that air and getting the completely impassive look most of his targets saw before being ripped apart for their secrets instead, because her student had the iron clad balls to stare into his eyes without flinching even with that change happening in front of him.

After a silent moment, her oldest brat had jerked a thumb in her direction and tattled on her inability to settle down and not do anything when she had free time.

The Head of Interrogation simply nodded, remarking that it was a holdover from their genin days and her intuitive abilities not settling down when she slowed down a bit. Rather annoying to deal with, wasn't it? Then he divulged a few methods he noted would shift her off being annoying to being curious instead, and Ibiki had nodded in acceptance of that and him then gone back to work.

Natsumi had pouted, because after that her student and old genin teammate had gotten along like a house on fire.

Especially on her ass. She now had two interrogators picking at her raw wounds whenever they saw her and trading information between them.

Ibiki would be a monster of a shinobi interrogator, though, especially if Inoichi took him on as his left hand like it looked like he would do.

Was she reading too much into that? She was proud of Ibiki's development beyond her teachings, it was possible she was seeing something she wanted for him and not what was going on.

Natsumi sighed as she flashed another one of the checkpoints her chakra etched ANBU tattoo, getting both her and Minato waved through. "Issues and issues…"

"Hmm?"

"I have issues, want a few?"

Minato, instead of laughing off her comment like she expected, stopped and eyed her. "Sure."

Natsumi blinked at him in return as she stalled her forward momentum. She hadn't really been serious, not wanting to give anyone else the same headache she was dealing with. "Really?"

"If you think it would help, sempai? Yeah."

She really, really did love him… and his stupid concern that made him offer to understand what she was worried over when he didn't have to try taking it on too.

"Lunch?"

"Sure."

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku joined them, whatever the jōnin commander needed from him that morning was over with already, and got to hear what had soured with one of their Village Elders.

Natsumi had invited Koharu and Inoichi over as well while she was cooking, just so they would all be on the same page.

The kunoichi part of the former elder trio bitterly confirmed most of her guesses from what she knew of her old coworker as they lingered over tea.

"…I think we may need to check into retirement services."

Inoichi, rubbing the heel of his hand into his left eye, glanced at her out of his right. "What?"

Natsumi shrugged and gave up on eating the rest of her lunch, having depressed herself all over again thinking about the latest problem in Konohagakure no Sato.

"Retirement responsibilities and rights for ninja isn't exactly… you know, stated. I mean, not even in ANBU is retirement considered something that stops your career. Horse and… and taicho never managed it. We give up so much that becoming useless seems… extremely unsatisfying end to our professional lives. To the point no ninja I've ever heard of retiring ever really stopped going into work and handling something… even if it is only paperwork. For fuck's sake, only clan elders are supposedly retired shinobi at loose ends. It's not like they ever stopped being ninja either."

"There's no such thing as a retired shinobi, sempai." Minato informed her dryly, stacking her cooking utensils and the dishes he had eaten from over the course of their working lunch in her sink. "We may eventually stop running missions, but we'll still be ninja when all is said and done."

His back was turned, it was the only reason he missed Koharu's startled look and the small, slow smile that sneaked across her lips.

"Wait… say _that_ again, wife of mine?"

Natsumi coughed out of surprise, beaming in her husband's less than amused face in the next second. "Retirement in ANBU usually goes hand in hand with mission death. Otherwise, it's more like what Minato just said; the agent in question only stops running missions under a mask and just helps out with the paperwork or training up the next ANBU agents after them."

Shikaku gave her an unimpressed stare for that, informing her that they would be talking about that later.

"All Wolf-taicho managed was more paperwork and the training oversight. Horse even comes back to train up a few medics in whatever or pitch in with the ANBU infirmary."

All four of them gave her a surprised look that time.

"There's an ANBU infirmary?"

Natsumi blinked at Inoichi, having killed her own momentary good mood with thinking about ANBU training and what now needed to be done to compensate for Wolf's death. "Well, yeah. Tsunade-sama insisted, because half the time our regular medical records are mostly redacted. Our medics actually keep our true medical records there and edited copies in the hospital, otherwise it's just a security risk."

Spies could use that information to link a specific ninja to an event, and that ninja to a mask, if they knew enough. It was safer in ANBU HQ, rather than the hospital where any medic could crack one open and learn more than the village wanted them too.

Inoichi worked his jaw silently a moment, shaking his head after whatever occurred to him finished distracting his attention. "Going back to the retirement thing, there _are_ retired ninja in Konoha."

"Who are all either crippled, Genin or Chūnin Corps, bored as fuck clan elders, or on hiatus due to child rearing." She reminded him archly. "There are only a few handfuls of jōnin-track retirees, most if not all part of that crippled category and the rest are clan elders."

Ryoko was actually the only other jōnin-track kunoichi retiree Natsumi knew outside a clan. She didn't really count, though, because of her old ANBU work she never stopped doing and the fact she never officially got over chūnin rank. The woman was _still_ working, only just as the iryou-nin on call in the academy now instead of Panther-taicho's squad medic.

Naras Shikai and Aikido, her in-laws, were of the few handful of parents left that had survived the change from being clan head to giving it up for their children. Most of their friends had lost their parents before or after reaching an age their clan allowed them to take over at, and those parents were starting to either withdraw from the village entirely or had died some time ago and Natsumi had yet to hear about it.

The Uchiha clan actually had the most elders out of all the Konohagakure ninja clans, _thirteen retirees_ out of the nearly two hundred and fifty people registered as belonging to that clan. Which was soon to be twelve, Uchiha Kagami was slowly dying in the hospital as they spoke.

There was a bit of a rift between the Genin and Chūnin Corps and the jōnin-track shinobi, because only a percentage of any ninja forces got jōnin as a rank and those shinobi were separated out before they left the academy for the last time. Out of the bare couple thousand shinobi they had, only about five hundred were either level of jōnin and a barely over two hundred of what was left were ANBU or Hunter-nin. Over half of Konohagakure's available manpower were Corps members, who would never see the pitched combat jōnin-track sometimes dealt with every time they stepped outside the village's gates.

They also had a different mindset than jōnin usually developed over their careers; the difference between being able to hang up their hitai-ate after ten or so years and hoping you ran missions until you died like a shinobi instead of dying by degrees as an old cripple. Clan ninja were the only ones to ensure they might just survive their lifestyle, non-clan shinobi didn't put that much effort into it just so they wouldn't be left to molder in the village after ten to twenty years of active duty broke them. The few non-clan shinobi she knew that were older than the sannin flatly refused to give up their jobs, even if they were almost hunched over in crippling pain doing it.

It was slowly getting better, as the medics got more skilled and passed on that skill to their students. There were more and more medics available now, which caused the average length of time any ninja could continually run missions for to become longer. Which then allowed some of those ninja to actually start thinking about retirement while still running those missions rather than dreading the inevitable sudden death of their shinobi careers when they got injured a time too many.

Although Minato was mostly right, jōnin-track shinobi never stopped being ninja… but jōnin-track ninja weren't the only shinobi in Konoha.

"I will raise this issue with Hiruzen, maybe he would have a better idea for what to do." Koharu carefully put in, setting her empty teacup down.

Eventually, the elder would accept Natsumi's sometimes coarse language and methods. Until that time, she still warily watched what she said around the assassin and still looked surprised whenever she swore.

Koharu telling Hiruzen would also allow Natsumi not to be the one to inform him it looked like his old friend was afraid of being old and useless to him, and that was why he tried to kill his Hokage for a stupid hat.

Not a great conversation starter, that.

The power mad and brutally controlling thing was still iffy motivation-wise, but Natsumi dearly hoped she wouldn't have to understand those parts.

"Thanks for doing the dishes, kouhai. Are you angling for more dinners, though?"

The fūinjutsu master standing at her sink laughed lightly as he wiped his hands. "No, habit sempai. Sorry."

Natsumi had cooked for him throughout his genin and chūnin years until the hime started doing it for him a bit after becoming jōnin. Doing the dishes had been the least he could do in return, and insisted on it when she tried to tell him he didn't have to.

Minato could burn water, or at least set a salad on fire. That dressing she gave him for it had been a little oily, but how the whole thing lit up when lettuce was mostly water was confusing. Her kouhai defied logic with how bad he was at fixing himself something to eat. Kushina had thought she was kidding at first, then after moving in with Minato the Whirlpool Princess had spent hours hysterically laughing in her tearoom over Minato's effort to make her breakfast that first morning.

Natsumi had merely apologized on her kouhai's behalf and bought the hime more groceries, because after that disastrous first attempt she never tried to teach Minato how to cook again.

Which was almost on par with Shikaku's cooking skills, now that she thought of it. Her husband could boil water and warm up the leftovers using the stove, but anything more complicated made a mess of her kitchen.

Why it was nearly all shinobi she knew could make something inedible actually edible over a campfire but couldn't figure out how to use a room specifically designed to make it easier to cook something was beyond her. Chouza and Jiraiya were the only two male ninja she had ever witnessed cooking themselves food without making a titanic mess out of it.

After Minato, though, they could all clean her dishes if she was the one running the kitchen.

She was halfway sure that had been how Eri managed to snag and keep Sakumo's attention after he got out of ANBU. ANBU usually ate from the food stalls on Konoha's main street if they had no cooking skills, and bringing home cooking in with you for a day was a great recipe to get it stolen from you.

The way to a man's heart was through his stomach, after all.

Natsumi had almost managed to confirm that, before her old man caught her sneaking after them and Eri formally met her for the first time.

Pressing a hand to her chest, that lingering ache would probably stay for the next few years whenever she thought of Sakumo, Natsumi glanced up and caught Inoichi's stare. "What?"

He simply quirked her a small smile instead of answering that. "I'm going to head out, then. If we're done?"

"I am."

Shikaku waved off commenting, he really wasn't part of the Danzō situation and only around to help if they needed him.

Minato shrugged as he set the last dish in the drainer. "I suppose so then. Shall I see you out, Utatane-sama?"

Koharu smiled softly as she rose. "I would appreciate it, Namikaze-san."

"Minato, please. Namikaze-san makes me feel like I'm in trouble."

"Then I insist on Koharu, from all of you." The retired kunoichi nodded at them all, following Natsumi's pseudo-brother out of the kitchen.

She rolled her eyes after she felt them leave her home. "What a little charmer."

Inoichi groaned as if in pain, getting up from his seat and pinning the assassin with a narrow, lavender stare. "No. You did _not_ just say that."

Utatane Koharu was about the age of their youngest biological grandparents, if they had survived the founding of Konoha and two wars between their births and now. Natsumi, all total, had seen maybe a few years less than one of village's eldest surviving kunoichi had.

"You know you were thinking it."

He made a frustrated motion. "That's beside the point!"

"No, that _is_ the point."

Inoichi drew himself up, mock scowling at her. "This conversation will go nowhere, I'm leaving."

"Mmhmm. Have a good day, Ino." Natsumi chirruped after his back, grinning slightly.

Her husband only snorted, rolling his eyes at them both as he ambled outside for an afternoon nap.

\V/

Shikaku knew he wasn't really great with personal relationships.

He was a genius of logical, tactical, and rational thinking, he left the feelings and social graces to either Inoichi or his own wife to handle. His social skills were mostly hit and miss, because while he knew enough to predict where a shinobi would move and what they tended to want to do to counter whatever maneuver, human behavior sometimes baffled him… especially the non-ninja types.

He normally listened to the both of them when they tried explaining to him why someone would do something he found confusing, but it didn't really help him much before he came off sounding like an insensitive ass to someone else. His best friend could confuse even himself, though, his empathy and intuitive people skills were more instinct based than logically grounded. Natsumi was little better, but only because her intuitive skills could pick up on what it was that Shikaku mentally tripped over.

Between them, they usually were good enough to keep him from sticking his foot into something when dealing with others outside of their circle of friends.

Skipping the dating scene and snagging the assassin as a wife probably hadn't helped him much, honestly. Had she not been there, a much more appealing option than someone he didn't know or actually spending time looking for someone else that didn't mind his flaws, he probably would've gone along with the kunoichi his mother picked out just so he didn't have to deal with that. Inoichi nattering at him about everything that Mesuji Natsumi was hadn't helped that situation, because after the first few times he hadn't been able to think of much more he wanted in a significant other even discounting his childhood crush on her.

Although, this probably worked out better for him.

Natsumi _knew_ him even before they got married, knew he wasn't all that good with empathy or talking about what he was feeling. His wife accepted the fact that he preferred giving physical affection to her rather than verbal, still seeking him out if she needed some reassurances for her rather hidden feminine side and not expecting words for it. She also didn't care if he just didn't say anything about a situation, using him as a sounding board anyways when she needed to hear what her thought process was skipping over or to work out what she felt about something or what her best option was to deal with it.

A few of the times he commented and managed to somehow say something wrong, he got gently teased in return for being insensitive about something and making her laugh. Some of those times he said whatever popped into his head just to make her laugh, he would admit to that. It also got him an explanation of why it was that probably wasn't a great idea, what the better options were, and what she was going to do and why. Which generally told him when he should shut up about issues he overheard when not with his wife or best friend, or options he could refer to when he couldn't escape those conversations and there had been something similar she talked about once. Inoichi just accepted that he was an ass sometimes, he usually handled the talking when Shikaku was around.

The single time he hadn't understood or trusted her word for it was the academy problem, but she hadn't held it against him for not understanding right away.

Which again worked for him, Natsumi would never take offense at what he said knowing why he said it and Inoichi never let him screw something up in the first place.

Therefore he knew, when his wife flinched at the thought of calling his father hers to his face, that he said something wrong again. Biting the kunai and asking Inoichi about it got him a pained look in return, and an explanation that after losing the closest thing to a father she had in this life the last thing she probably wanted was to look or feel like she was replacing the Hatake that meant so much to her.

When that last week passed and his parents left for their own home without getting to see his old man stagger because his wife called him father, Shikaku knew why she didn't do what she said after her breakdown.

It had been rather insensitive of him, true, so he hadn't been surprised.

She hadn't held it against him, like usual. Just gave him a small, sad smile and a kiss before wandering off to her woodshed to work on something.

Natsumi was still fretting, though, digging through her usual habits and distractions with a keen energy he hadn't seen out of her since their academy days. Between Sakumo's death and Shimura's traitorous attempt to steal the Hokage's seat, something was forcing her mind to work in high gear to the point she had to physically exhaust herself in order to sleep at night.

It didn't take someone with Shikaku's intelligence to know what.

He was pretty certain it wasn't the remnants of the Hatake clan, Inoichi had double checked her work there at her request and gave it a Yamanaka stamp of approval. Kakashi was finally utilizing his Uchiha teammate as intended, blunting his genius awkwardness he sometimes struggled against and forging a bond that would probably survive the end of the world; Eri was, however bitterly, resigned to being a widow of a shinobi. Poor Midori was too young to really recall her father when she was older, she probably wouldn't have the issues the other two members of her family had.

The Danzō situation was part of it, he knew that. Natsumi kept going off on tangents and chasing every off the wall thought she concocted, anything to not think about what it was bothering her.

Shikaku had a theory that she was feeling guilty about it.

She had held a suspicion of the elder, and had been working to either verify it or disprove it for years. Natsumi probably thought Sakumo had been killed because she was either too slow or hadn't done enough in time.

He might not be very good at personal relationships, but even he could learn a few tricks when stuck between a wife and best friend that liked bickering over their methods in psychology when they saw one another.

However, since he was pretty bad at expressing himself, that theory would be checked by the only other person he went to when confused over the thought process of others.

(ooo000ooo)

Inoichi stared at him for a moment and then glanced at Minato, who had followed the interrogator back to T&I. "What was that phrase Natsumi used when something surprising happened when we were genin?"

"Hallelujah, it's a miracle?" The other blond in the room quoted from memory in a deadpan.

"You ever get what that was from?"

"Supposedly something religious. Not too sure if I believe that, given the turkey thing she did to us."

"Thanksgiving and the Native something or other almost genocide? I think she was being honest about that one."

Minato made a face. " _Native American_ , and _why_ would a genocide be _celebrated?_ "

"There was also that Vale-in-tines day thing; originally about the goats, dogs, and some dead priest." Inoichi reminded him archly. "That was celebrated with candy and flowers given between lovers or complete strangers after a few centuries. Then the fat red man that broke into people's homes in the dead of night using a chimney of all things, celebrated with gift giving. Then the rabbit laying eggs one, which had something to do with a martyr's undead state. I stopped questioning her old culture after that one."

"Can you two focus?" Shikaku interrupted the side conversation irritably. "Little help with Natsu, _please_. You know, that kunoichi that helped us all out as kids. That one Minato adopted as a sister and I married. Who is slowly driving herself into an early grave because she _thinks too much_."

Inoichi sighed instead of giving him something concrete to use to help his wife. "It's an irrational fear, Shikaku. That's why she's using everything she can to put space between her and that thought. If she can keep thinking of something else, of anything else, she doesn't have to actually think about why she may or may not be partly responsible for Sakumo-sama's death. That makes no sense, because she didn't know honorable Sakumo-sama would be killed when he was by what he was killed by, we know that. She knows it too, but her mind still fears connecting her actions or inactions to her taicho's demise. Unless she actually faces that fear on her own, she'll keep on doing this."

The Nara clan head made a frustrated gesture. "I got that. What the hell can I do about it?"

"Not a whole lot while she's in this loop." Confessed the Head of the Interrogation department bitterly. "This S-rank secret situation isn't helping that much either, because it's something else but related that keeps circling her mind back to being guilty. So she focuses on that, hits that one irrational fear, bounces off into something else, and just follows the pattern from there when it repeats the next day."

Scowling, Shikaku tried to find a way out of that for his wife. "Should she be pulled then?"

"From this situation we're trying to handle? No." Inoichi shoved a hand into the short bangs he kept, glaring at the paperwork that multiplied like bunnies on his desk. "Again, it's something for her to do. Not only that, but Natsumi's intuitive insights are actually needed right now. Instead of forcing facts out of the traitor like I would have to, which more than half would be misleading or false anyways, she can pull half recalled rumors and current events together and divine how or why that man did something to our enemies or allies to cause this or that using a fragment of his paperwork she, Stag, and Koharu-sama found as a basis."

"She doesn't even talk to the man, either." Minato added in, since he was the one set to guard her during the times set aside to care for the rogue elder and witnessed the events for himself. "They just hold a staring contest, then she comes out and spouts off more of what makes him tick. It's sometimes creepy to watch happen and then hear about what she pulled out of that."

"That's not really helpful right now, Minato." The shadow master gritted out. "I _know_ she's being useful. I got that. I would like to know she's not going to make herself ill over this, or will eventually get better. Because it's not dying down or slowing any from what I've seen."

Inoichi only shrugged, rather uselessly in the Nara's opinion. "Your wife is smart, Shika. Not quite as much as you or Minato, but still. She'll get there, but there is no telling when that will be. She backslid into bad habits, yeah, but she's also trying to recondition herself not to do it again. The best thing you can do is give her other things to work on, until that fear dies down a bit and she can calmly, as much as she ever is, think it all though."

"That is singularly unhelpful, Ino."

"There isn't much else to be done that she isn't already doing. With you to help her, she got herself over the angry and most of the sad parts of grief and is just having a small problem getting past her depression to rationalization or acceptance. How it is she gets so much support out of you is something I really do want to know, because while I'm impressed you recognized this on your own you usually don't bother getting worried about things like this."

Shikaku blinked a few times. "I honestly don't know."

All Natsumi had needed from him was to cry on, then she pulled herself together again. Other than the fact his wife had been crying, which had made him rather irrationally irritated at her old ANBU captain for dying on her, it hadn't been the awkward mess of hurt feelings and drawn out wails he had almost been afraid of facing. He'd seen some civilians break down in grief before, that hadn't been the nicest sight he had ever seen. Natsumi had just gone back to being rather understanding right after, letting him fuss over her with a weak grin even when he stuck his foot into his mouth again and hurt her.

"Sempai is a very strange woman." Minato interjected lightly, a twitch of the mouth betraying his amusement. "Apparently she only needs a very strange relationship to feel better."

"You know, that could apply to her bond with you too." Inoichi informed his fellow blond archly. "Why are you here anyways? We heard Shika's problem, what's yours?"

The fūinjutsu master scratched his cheek sheepishly. "I didn't tell you? I… err, wanted to know what the hell is up with my genin team. Less than a month ago when I got back to the village, my boys couldn't stand each other. Now, Kakashi-kun insists Obito-kun has to go with him whenever they do something in the village."

"Humans are strange, disturbed creatures for sure." The Head of the Interrogation department claimed in a deadpan. "Grief draws us together, rather than what Shikaku thinks should happen because someone lost a person close to them. Kakashi-kun got knocked off his oh so shiny pedestal in Obito-kun's view, making him more relatable rather than someone to be compared less favorably to. So since your Uchiha genin is putting forth effort to understand instead of judge, that Hatake chūnin you teach doesn't really mind waiting on him as long as he can use him as a shield in the meantime."

Minato blinked a few times at Inoichi while Shikaku pulled a face. It wasn't his fault he used his wife's habits as a measuring stick.

The Yamanaka clan head sighed and clarified. "Kakashi-kun hates being pitied, Obito-kun is being used as a human shield against that pity for honorable Sakumo-sama's death. Kakashi-kun's stopped thinking his teammates are useless to him as he can't tell himself that if he's being helped by that team, since Rin-chan took over being the clan's go-to medic and you and your other student pitch in when needed. Obito-kun finally sees what his teammate's life is like, and you know geniuses have some kind of drawback to them, realizing that Kakashi-kun isn't showing him up because he thinks he's better than any Uchiha and especially him… but because the ninja he hangs out with are just that skilled so he got taught to be that way when we had the time."

"Oh."

Inoichi looked between the two jōnin that had invaded his office without so much as a 'hello' offered. "Anything else? Or do you want to pitch in with this mess?"

He had gestured to his cluttered desk, not entirely surprised when the both of them fled the room pretty damn fast, even for jōnin.

Inoichi suspected hiraishin use. Shikaku and his clan weren't the only lazy assed shinobi in Konohagakure, Minato's habit of spamming the damn seals everywhere was a little annoying. Especially when Natsumi used it to exasperate someone further by popping up behind them whenever she wanted.

\V/

"You know, this has to stop. I'm not fragile, sensei, just a little depressed."

"Complaints?"

"Well… no, not really." Natsumi set her chin on Jiraiya's right shoulder, scowling at the wild white hair that tried suffocating her. "I'll get upset with you tomorrow."

"Hmm… sure you will. It makes me feel better, so put up with it."

She was getting a piggyback ride from the Toad Sage. Little bemusing, yeah, as they hadn't done this since their Team Seven's last B-rank. When she badly wrenched her ankle in keeping Inoichi out of a flooding river so he could go mind screw the bandit they caught for the location of a kidnapped merchant's daughter. She supposed she should get upset that another of the men in her life were treating her like glass, but right now it was more comforting than irritating so she let it go.

Natsumi did wonder where the hell they were going, as Jiraiya hadn't said a damn thing before swinging her up to his back and taking off.

She knew the neighborhood, true. Minato and Kushina lived on this street, but so did Ito, Tenzou, and Naomi a little farther down. The Senju compound was also a few more streets over, the Sarutobi one a mile or so away from that. It was also late enough that most ninja would be at home checking their perimeters, preparing for tomorrow's mission, or getting gear to practice night maneuvers with their teams.

Not entirely surprised when they turned in to her kouhai's home, Natsumi obligingly shifted so the sannin could free a hand and knock.

They were greeted by a confused Kushina, who had apparently been on her way out. Probably to find something to do or a mission to run for tomorrow, from the look of it.

Minato worriedly eyed the both of them when his girlfriend led the sannin still carrying an assassin into the living room. "Sensei?"

"Stay, little hime. This involves you too." Jiraiya told the redhead before the Uzumaki could excuse herself, crouching so Natsumi could slide off his back.

Kushina, still with a conflicted expression on her face, took a seat on the couch next to Minato and his fūinjutsu supplies. "What's going on?"

The ANBU captain suddenly realized what this was about, working her still strained self-control to keep any expression off her face. Minato glanced at her with concern anyways.

"You were informed of what our neko-chan was up to on your behalf, right?"

Natsumi would rather not have been right. Horribly enough, she would probably trade this in a heartbeat just to have her taicho back or just so she could hug him one last time.

"Yeah." Kushina drawled out slowly, giving her boyfriend's fūinjutsu master a strange look. "Why?"

"I know of an Uzumaki outside the village, it's where I've been for the last few months." Jiraiya dug though his pockets, pulling two scrolls out and handing one off to both kunoichi. "I don't know what's in them, but I know the writers rather well. They're safe, you can be sure of that. I watched them write these."

Minato was up out of his seat in an instant, taking a position behind the trembling hime to read over her shoulder.

Natsumi stared at her own letter blankly after taking it from the sannin.

After a quiet moment, she opened it up anyways. Ninja curiosity was a morbid thing sometimes.

She had gotten a letter from Yahiko.

Skimming the first few lines, she read that he knew she had been the one to send their joint teacher to them when she identified a threat in their direction. While he was thankful for that, he wasn't giving up his teammate even if his cousin lived in her village.

"What a fucking _asshole._ "

Jiraiya choked on air, turning to her with wide eyes. "What?"

"Seriously, sensei. Your other student, this Yahiko, is an asshole." Natsumi rolled up the letter, not even interested in reading the rest. "Like hell I would expect him to give up a motherfucking _teammate_ for any kind of favor. I just wanted them to visit once or twice, so the cousins could meet. Little _prick._ "

She slapped the scroll in his strangely limp hand, getting up to wander into Kushina's kitchen. "I'm making food, who wants some?"

"Ramen." Kushina requested in a small voice, emerald eyes locked on the scroll she was still reading.

Minato and Jiraiya were too busy reading what Natsumi had to respond.

Ramen it was.

(ooo000ooo)

"I'm really sorry about that, neko-chan. Normally, Yahiko-kun isn't quiet that… uh… _abrasive._ "

"There's a kunoichi in that team over there, right?" Natsumi asked instead of addressing that, stabbing her chopsticks into the remains of her cooling ramen. "Next time I get a letter from Amegakure no Sato, it better be from her. Hell, I'll take a letter from the hime's cousin rather than that ass."

Jiraiya sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, quirking a slightly awkward grin at her. "Well… I'll see what I can do."

Minato looked like he really couldn't decide on what he felt as he tried to eat with one hand. On one hand, Yahiko had insulted his already depressed sempai. On the other, Kushina was burrowing into his side almost deliriously happy that there was another survivor of the Uzumaki clan out there.

Nagato had written her to start with as well. Natsumi might have told Kushina she was looking, but holding the proof in your hands was better than any kind of future maybes.

"You never told me you were looking for more Uzumaki clan members, sempai."

"You never asked. Originally, I wasn't even going to tell the hime either until I knew something would come of it."

"I'm glad you slipped up." Kushina informed Natsumi, unable to remove the silly grin from her face and trying to hide it in Minato's ribs. "Or I would've burst into tears."

The Whirlpool Princess looked visibly brighter anyways, even with suspiciously shiny eyes.

Natsumi was a colossal bitch for getting upset about this. She knew it, but it didn't really help anything.

(ooo000ooo)

The Toad Sage followed her out of the house, leaving Minato to deal with the ramen bowls and a hyper Uzumaki girlfriend.

"Neko-chan."

Natsumi stopped, right at the little fence gate that separated her kouhai's home and the sidewalk. "Hmm?"

Jiraiya placed a big hand on the top of her head, patting instead of ruffling her hair after a moment more of thought. "I really am sorry about that. Had I known what he wrote, I would've slapped him upside the head. I taught them teamwork, they knew Konoha's stance on team bonds."

"It's okay. I'm most likely not in the best place right now for letter writing, anyways. You should handle that, as I'll probably get into a pissing match with your other students if I tried."

The sannin just sighed, tugging on the tail her hair was in. "Want a lift home?"

Natsumi had intended to abuse Minato's hiraishin to get home, but the Nara compound was really only half an hour's walk from her kouhai's home. "Sure."

Jiraiya swung her up to his back again, taking off an ambling stroll in the direction of the Nara clan.

She wasn't entirely sure if this did make the Toad Sage feel better or not, it was completely possible he had been bullshitting her about that, but it wasn't really worth the effort to argue over letting him cart her around a few times.

Besides, the last time she caught a piggy back ride from a shinobi of Konohagakure had been with Sakumo. It was almost like he was back, even if Jiraiya was a little taller and had white hair instead of silver.

Jiraiya was obliging enough to ignore her getting his shoulder wet during the walk.

\V/

They had been waiting for it, as it was another reason Danzō wasn't dead yet.

Twelve more ROOT agents, who all seemed to have just formed out of the dark. Taken down because while ANBU was on guard, the true defense of the isolation room Shimura was in was Panther's lethal seal work.

It was easier to clean up bodies than try to track down where the hell these ninja kept popping out of.

Mongoose had suggested using the elder as bait for the rest of his forces while they were wondering how to ensure they got them all, making his taicho rather proud of his development as a saboteur. Bear had agreed with it when Panther brought her rookie to him, so long as there were fail safes in place. The elder ended up in a relatively shallow part of the underground labyrinth, and probably knew they were killing his organization bit by bit as time stretched on.

He had another month of being used as bait, just to be sure. Then Hiruzen would have ANBU kill him for his actions, cremating the remains and sending them to dump his ashes into the sea.

Stag didn't really seem to care, and that did concern his captain a little. The ex- _Ne_ agent didn't seem to have much personality beyond resenting the silence seal forced on him and being attached to the kunoichi he had been ordered to get close enough to kill.

Panther was certain there was something wrong with that. Why it was her that Stag preferred being around was confusing, given that she probably could kill him rather easily and almost had a few weeks ago.

That had to wait, though, she was a little busy dealing with the other crap in her life.

Panther slid into the viewable part of the ANBU HQ teahouse, kneeling across from Hizashi. Who, at least, had the grace to look rather regretful about dumping this on her with little warning.

Shiranui Genma and Namiashi Raido stared at her while Senju Nawaki looked rather uncomfortable.

The Hyūga branch family head sighed slightly. "Students, this is Panther-taicho."

The ANBU captain nodded as the chūnin introduced themselves, as if she didn't know them already. "Hizashi-sama?"

"Two of my former students wish to join ANBU, Panther-taicho."

Hizashi had allowed his team to break up after getting chūnin rank, but genin students never did stop going to their jōnin-sensei for advice even if that happened.

"Oh?"

"I was unable to convince them not to."

Ah. Natsumi didn't really know why most of her friends hated ANBU life, as they didn't have any problems with the agents that lived that life.

"Very well." She turned to Genma and Raido, who were rather desperately trying to seem more serious than she knew them to be. "Come back at nightfall, ensure you will not be missed for two months."

Hizashi dismissed them with a small flick of his fingers and Nawaki slunk out after them with all due speed, looking rather disturbed.

Natsumi carefully pulled her mask off once they were far enough away the seals in the teahouse would conceal her. "Really? ANBU's not that bad."

His face remained neutral looking, but she guessed he wasn't amused by this or her.

"Seriously though, we need bodyguards desperately. For some reason, we're a little short on that specialization."

The crazy old lady that ran the teahouse, who Natsumi finally learned was the former ANBU General before Bear-sama, came by and set a teapot between the two of them with a grin. "Anything else, dears?"

Hizashi looked terribly uncomfortable for a moment, but managed a polite no.

"We're good, Tiger-sama. Thank you."

The ancient kunoichi grinned widely at her before leaving them to it, amused that after Panther learned who she had been the assassin hunted down her old mask and started referring to her with her old title.

This now unofficial Tiger was technically not retired even if she gave up her mask decades ago, she was still working a shinobi's work in guarding their backs and keeping up appearances for them.

Natsumi turned back to her tablemate, trying not to snicker at _his_ disturbed look.

"So… you brought me your students after trying to convince them not to join. Why?"

The Hyūga flatted out his expression for a long moment. "Because if anyone can keep an eye on my students where I cannot, it would be you. I would appreciate it if you can get me word if they need my help."

"I have a student in ANBU too, you know." The assassin sighed when his face didn't change, tilting her teacup around to get the green liquid to swirl in a lazy circle without chakra control. "Hizashi, ANBU isn't that bad anymore. There's enough of us to cover each other now, mission work got a whole lot less dangerous with more squad mates watching our backs."

"I was not even aware that was an issue."

"Then what the hell is the problem?"

"Natsumi, I do not have a problem with ANBU. I do not believe they will enjoy it."

"They won't, none of us do."

Hizashi blinked, visibly surprised. "What?"

Natsumi arched an eyebrow at him. "You don't think I _like_ going around and killing people in their sleep, do you?"

Panther becoming an assassin had been half her own damn fault and half ANBU itself. Natsumi had wanted ANBU, because she thought she had what it took to do the work even in her last life so she made it into a goal for herself. Once she got it, being asked what specialization she wanted had caused her to draw a blank. She took too long trying to think of something, so her ANBU trainers slotted her for whatever they needed.

Her physical age aside, Natsumi was insanely lucky she didn't get slotted for eventual seductress. No offence to Horse intended, but that wasn't something she ever really wanted to try even for her village's sake. The being married thing a few years later would've made having that specialization rather awkward as well.

There was really nothing holding her to that assassination specialization, honestly. She could've switched to being a kenjutsu specialist ANBU agent after Sakumo finished training her up as one. Panther stayed an assassin because of two reasons. The first being she had the skills, her kinjutsu, and stomach for it. Looking like a young girl or woman but not really thinking like one had been nearly the best cover ever for actually getting to her targets as well. The other was that there had been quite a few deaths in ANBU over the years, assassins had been the worst offenders in that, so she stayed and pitched in where she could while between jōnin missions so her friends wouldn't need to run one or two instead.

Now she was rather used to her lot, changing it up at this late date would be rather stupid. She didn't have the time to pick up another skill for ANBU, and Koichi needed her to back him up while figuring out how the saboteur thing worked out for him.

He merely blinked at her in response to her question.

"I do it so you don't have to." She informed him a little bitterly. "Shinobi makes the civilians think of shadowy night killings, then they request things like that from the village. Who do you think handles it so the jōnin can stick with the popular mission work? I do this so you and Minato and the rest of our friends don't have to get orders to slit the throat of some sixteen-year-old girl to intimidate and cow her father into whatever the client wants."

It was bad PR for a Konohagakure jōnin to be known for that kind of work. No one would want a jōnin known for killing someone's daughter to guard their noble lord or lady, meaning ANBU had been specifically formed to be hated and feared even in their own country. They worked with it, knowing that every mission they took down meant their other non-ANBU friends would never have to do it, and were pretty content with that.

It seemed she had a Hyūga statue instead of a friend on the other side of the table, though. Maybe she was being bitchy again?

"My apologies, Natsumi. That was not what I meant."

She was being bitchy, lovely.

"Sorry, I've been having a few _really_ bad weeks."

Hizashi simply inclined his head in acceptance of her tired apology. It wasn't like he couldn't have heard what had happen since his return to the village a few days ago. "What I meant to say was that I believe they are after the perks of your position, or the reputation."

Which had practically been what she had done, but if they didn't take each other's examples and try to teach their students better ways they wouldn't be teachers in the first place. "They'll learn. It's a bit of a jarring experience, to switch from the visible ranks to the shadow guard that first time. I will promise to watch them, and if they seem to regret joining I'll get them out with as little damage as I can."

"I suppose that is all I can ask."

Natsumi hummed, thinking about Senju Nawaki and what was happening with his career. "Can I steal your other student too? My chūnin cell is… a bit understaffed while I and my ANBU student straighten out this part of the village. Nawaki-kun would also help my other students keep up with their mission work."

If he thought visiting a teahouse only just seemingly connected to ANBU and meeting a captain was a little disturbing, coming face to face with an ANBU version of his best friend from the academy would be hilarious. She almost couldn't wait until she was freed up to run missions again just to see that.

He thought about it for a moment. "I don't see why not."

"Right, well… we need another conversation topic. How's Misaki doing? Or Hiashi-sama? Cause I haven't heard from him in, like, years."

"My wife is content, and my Nii-sama has been very busy with running the clan."

Natsumi's teacup clattered to the table. "He's paying for it, isn't he? What we did to help you two."

Even _Fugaku_ had time for other pursuits than running his clan, and the Uchiha clan was a bit bigger than the Hyūga one. Hiashi shouldn't be so overrun with work he didn't have the time to even visit one of the others every so often, if he didn't have a wife to assist him yet but had a twin brother instead. He should've ended up with more time to himself, because he only ran half the clan when both twins were inside the village.

She hadn't thought about the seal switch in years, and after a while and nothing happened to the twins she had put it to the back of her mind. No wonder she had only rarely seen Hiashi since the war started, if the elder of the twins was shielding his brother from their own clan elders' collective ire. Her assigning the younger twin a genin team had probably come at the best time, as that had been the first few month of when the elder of the two seemingly started avoiding her.

She had wondered why the head of the Hyūga clan hadn't bitched at her in his prickly way for that.

Hiashi _was_ older, even if it was by only minutes, like any older sibling he protected the younger from harm. Natsumi still couldn't stop helping Minato, and she _knew_ full well her kouhai was competent enough to handle his own affairs. A genin team kept Hizashi in the light and not concealed by his clan, preventing anything really serious from being allowable even in the worst of that clan's elders' eyes.

Killing a Konohagakure jōnin when he was handling his duties would've called the Hokage's wrath down on their heads for it, and probably damage the Hyūga clan's reputation.

Now she felt even more like a bitch, for the sour thought the elder of the Hyūga twins was avoiding her just because he thought she was insane.

"Hizashi, that offer I told you about years ago is still valid. We will not allow either of you to be taken advantage of unless you really want to put up with it. If you want, I'll butcher all the elders that are giving you two grief."

Hizashi actually quirked a small smile at her. "Your offer is appreciated, but probably not the best idea. We will handle it, Natsumi."

She pressed her lips together, adjusting her view of her village to that new tidbit of information. "I'm going to need a vial of your Nii-sama's blood… and his wife's, whenever he gets married."

"Why?" He looked more confused than worried, which meant he was more concerned over why she needed it rather than what she needed it for.

He'd learn anyways, because she needed him to pass it on to his brother.

"Hizashi, do you know why I started carving cribs? It's all Tsunade-sama's fault, Mikoto and Tsume just added to that. They dumped me with baby guard duties, and I started wondering how I was going to handle it when we all had heirs to care for." She quirked a smirk at his slight frown. "The cribs are _sealed_ , Hizashi. No one but whoever is related to the children by blood and their godparents can remove them from their cribs or bed without harm."

Natsumi could do a lot of things with fūinjutsu, especially with intents. It was why she specialized in security seals, because she could use a person's intent against them if they attempted a few specific things.

Like say, try to kidnap a baby clan heir out of a crib.

Someone from within their clans could remove the children, as they were all related more often than not, but no one outside of their individual clans and their circle of friends could without getting thrown through a wall or two in retaliation.

She needed the blood of the parents and godparents in order to make those seals, which had been a little hazardous to get. Most of their friends kept to shinobi partners, Eri and Momo cooked instead and the kitchen had knives to explain the small injuries Natsumi needed to cause in order to get their blood. Ninjas sparred, though, and cleaning up after her friends after a particularly vicious spar allowed her the leeway she needed to get that blood from them.

Hana's crib had been sealed to herself, Tsume, and Shibi; because even if Natsumi wasn't sure of her goddaughter's genetic father the Aburame clan head was the best the tiny Inuzuka girl would ever have or want. Her puppies weren't protected, but only an idiot tried to steal an Inuzuka dog.

Itachi's crib had been sealed to Kushina, Mikoto, and Fugaku; the genius heir's godfather had been one of the clan head's cousins, whom had died just before Itachi-chan developed his sharingan. Now that she thought about it, Kushina might actually know what the cribs were intended for already and informed the Uchiha couple by now. The redheaded kunoichi had spent a lot of time helping her genjutsu mistress friend out with Itachi's first few months.

Shibi's pine crib had been sealed to him as well, since she was mostly sure he would end up with a woman from his own clan. If she was wrong, that would need adjustments.

That had been a very… interesting series of events, getting Shibi's blood. She would have to think of something else for his eventual wife, or give up and straight out ask for it.

Midori's crib was sealed, Kakashi's old one, long before she was born even if Natsumi hadn't been the one to carve it. She had painted the seal onto the crib one of the nights she had been asked to babysit for the elder Hatakes so they could go do something not parenting related, back when she had only just been newly married and worked out the kinks to the seal she created for it.

"Were you never going to tell us?"

"As long as the seals never activated, probably not." Natsumi admitted slowly. "It's really only a just in case thing, you understand. A child would not spend all their time in a crib, this was just so that if you had to leave them for a moment they would still be guarded from harm."

She would've had to tell Jiraiya why, if he ended up Naruto's godfather again, and Tsunade, if she ended up anyone's godmother. Irritating a sannin wasn't the best way to ensure your head was kept where it should be. Minato and Kushina would know for sure the moment they got a good look at her seal work on theirs, but Minato should end up Hokage in a few years and that might just help them a little. Almost everyone else she could get around with a bit of ninja slyness, as it wasn't something she wanted to worry her friends with.

Unless Kushina did tell the Uchiha couple about it, then Sasuke's crib would probably be accepted without question but with a knowing little smirk.

Something had prompted her to start doing this, though. A threat to one of their children she couldn't recall and Kakashi's almost assassination back when he had been a baby. She had started it years ago, planning on carving at least one for each of their children, and intended to see it through even if she couldn't recall what it was she was planning for. It was an awesome idea, to be honest.

Hiashi avoiding her had made her wonder if she should carve one for him, but since it wasn't a slight against her that caused him to distance himself she would and warn him what they were intended for so he didn't just accept and stick it in storage. Even with that wondering, she had the ebony in stock to start a crib for the elder twin.

Better safe than sorry was practically a shinobi creed.

"Sometime in the next two months is when I'll need that blood to start the seal work. Yours is finished, by the way. I was waiting until Misaki announced her baby bump to gift it."

"Ah… of course."

He looked rather bewildered, Natsumi was proud of herself for that expression.

She liked teatime with Hizashi, it always made her feel a little better. Even if he and his twin were stilted, socially stunted, traditional Hyūga warriors who were too repressed for their own good.

\V/

Natsumi opened their front door when someone knocked on it, blinked, and slammed it closed again.

"All yours." She informed Shikaku tartly, heading for the back door after snagging her sandals and katana from their usual places.

The Nara clan head, with more than a little bemusement, reopened the door his wife had slammed in someone's face.

Ah.

Kurama Unkai was the latest head of the Kurama's branch family, if Shikaku recalled right. They didn't have a seat in the clan council anymore, they lost it when their clan dropped under a hundred members, but Kuramas were still respected in the village all the same. Shikaku didn't have much to do with that clan, not officially, so there really was only one reason a Kurama would come to the head of the Nara clan's door.

He had Natsumi's jawline, as well. Just in case he wanted to overlook her warning about her Kurama jutsu use, the fact this was probably a blood relative really only meant one thing was happening.

Glancing to his third cousin, who normally took the day watch over the clan's compound, only netted him a shrug. Masao didn't know what was going on, Unkai hadn't told him.

Shikaku didn't expect that to last, because his wife was probably heading out to chop down another tree or two and the whole Nara clan would know in under an hour that something had upset their Lady again. They would only need a moment to figure out who caused it, by checking the check in sheet the guards kept of visitors to the compound. What would be a little trickier, but Natsumi's mother's paperwork was on file in the clan's library and a little work would unearth that as well.

It was probably a good thing the Nara clan embraced the laziness fiction so well, they probably might've gotten up to some kind of mischief against the Kurama clan otherwise. They rather liked his wife, as she was rather dependable for help to the clansmen themselves and the chaos that followed her when she was up to something was generally considered amusing to the clan as a whole. There was a Nara pastime involved with trying to predict what she would knock into next that tended to accrue favors as betting marks.

He might have cleared the whole thing out once, betting on the academy thing even if he didn't understand what had been wrong with it. He was told shortly after than his involvement in any other pots would be considered cheating, so he placed his bets though his father now.

"Unkai-san, something I can do for the Kurama clan?"

The branch head of the genjutsu specializing shinobi clan frowned even more than he had been. "I do hope so, Shikaku-sama. May I come in?"

He thought about it, but there really wasn't any real reason to follow Natsumi's example and slam the door in his face. "Sure."

Unfortunately, it seemed the seal work his wife had re-inked into their walls didn't think the Kurama was a threat.

Pity.

Shikaku didn't think the man was a threat either, but watching the genjutsu specialist get burned on it would've at least been amusing.

He led the man into the study, as it was probably the only place his clansmen wouldn't try to eavesdrop into and figure out what was going on. The only things that motivated a Nara to put in more effort than needed was new information or intricate puzzles. This would be a bit of both for his clan to wonder about.

Shikaku took his usual spot next to his desk, lacing his fingers together and pinning the Kurama with an expectant look.

"The only thing I am here for is to confirm Nara Natsumi-sama was a Kurama before her marriage."

"Nope."

Unkai blinked a few times. "Pardon?"

"My wife was a Mesuji before her marriage to me." Shikaku unhelpfully pointed out blandly.

The man narrowed his eyes at the Nara clan head. "Shikaku-sama, I do recall one Mesuji Mana-san claiming to bear a bastard child of my clan during my childhood."

"Then you should also recall that she got your previous clan head to sign a few papers when they denied her claim."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Those papers severed any connection you had to the late Mana-san's daughter, even if she held the Kurama's full kekkai genkai. Which she doesn't, by the way," Shikaku intently examined the other shinobi's reaction to that, and continued in the same politely neutral voice he had restricted himself to using for this conversation, "but you knew that already. So, care to inform me where the _copy_ given to be filed in Intelligence got to? Inoichi is keenly interested in how that happened to disappear from my wife's files."

It probably wasn't fair of him to bring up the Head of the Interrogation department in a conversation between ninja, but the Nara didn't really care.

Unkai was silent for a long moment. "I can take this up with the Council of Clans."

"You'll be laughed out of there if you tried. Natsu still has the original, and we're friends with most if not all of the clan heads that sit that council."

"She's dangerous," the Kurama tried after another moment, "she's also erratic. Her behavior is destructive and irregular. Letting this go on without my clan's guidance will only harm her and those around her in the end."

"Nice try, but Natsu doesn't have your clan's kekkai genkai. Jiraiya-sama and Tsunade-sama both looked into it. Her kinjutsu is officially a kinjutsu, Uchiha Mikoto managed to learn it. Her behavior might be erratic, but it also follows a pattern I can keep up with and the only uncorrectable damage she does is to traitors of the village."

"I noticed you have not addressed the dangerous point."

"She's a _kunoichi_ , all of them are dangerous."

"The Kuramas are a clan of genjutsu specialists, an Uchiha genjutsu mistress learning a bastardized Kurama jutsu means nothing."

"Not to R&D, who put the labels on the kinjutsu." Shikaku held up a hand before Unkai could continue trying to argue. "You are fast wearing out my patience for this. You will not be getting my wife, she's a Nara in all the ways that matter to both my clan and the village."

"We can take this up with the Hokage."

"Who will, again, laugh you out of his office. Not only over that paperwork the late Mana-san got your previous clan head to sign more than twenty years ago, but also over the fact you never bothered to keep watch on her child to see what kind of kunoichi she would become. Hiruzen-sama will also be less than amused at any attempts to argue over the rightful place of one of his best troubleshooters, who is in the middle of working on a problem for him."

The Kurama grew almost inhumanly still, which Shikaku recalled his wife doing when she became dangerously unamused with someone to the point of contemplating violent means of corrections. When a ninja was the target of Natsumi's ire, it usually ended up as an impromptu spar where she tried to beat the incompetence out of them. With the civilians, she mentally marked them as moronic and avoided having anything to do with them anymore.

Even more damning, spots on the wall behind the Kurama branch head were slowly lighting up as his wife's security seal work started _reacting_. The softly glowing blue flicker pattern, showing the stored chakra starting to circulate through the inked lines on the walls that had been painted over, would only light up if someone had the intent to harm either Nara that lived in the house. Actually striking part of the house holding some kind of harmful intent would usually end up killing a person as the seal lashed out in return, but unless the Kurama chose to lean up against the wall or punch it in anger it wouldn't harm him just yet.

"You try to force this issue on your own, you'll find out what Natsu really does for a living. I'll give you a hint, it has little to do with that katana she loves so."

"Is that a threat, Shikaku-sama?"

"No, a friendly warning. It wouldn't do for you to come across someone that will kill you for the very act of trying to kidnap or contain one of their own illegally."

It was as close to a warning about Natsumi's ANBU captaincy and specialization that the Nara clan head would bother giving. The lethal fūinjutsu inked into the house aside, they also still had random ANBU patrols that popped by every now and again to ensure Panther was alright and where she should be, and the Uchiha Military Police checkpoint outside their gate was still in place even after all the years between his wife's foiled assassination and now. Between the two of them and the Nara clan's own watchmen, any Kurama that tried something less than legal to his wife without her permission wouldn't get very far.

If she didn't kill them herself first for the attempt, that is.

"I should also add than our friends will be less than amused at any attempts to influence my wife though them. You can try, but it will only harm your clan in the end."

Unkai stiffly drew himself up, as if that would intimidate someone that regularly ran missions with the most terrifying Head of Interrogation they ever had. "I see you are unwilling to be reasonable about Kurama Natsumi, Shikaku-sama."

"Reasonable? _Reasonable_ would be you at least _speaking_ with Mesuji Natsumi before she ever met me and became a Nara. Had you done that, she might actually bother to stay and listen to what you want from her. Since Natsu isn't here, she left me to deal with you as both her _lawful_ husband and _rightful clan head_ , what I say goes. _You will not get my wife._ "

"You will be hearing from us again."

Shikaku grinned, in a sharp way that Natsumi had once dryly informed him that he could scare little children with. "I look forward to it."

(ooo000ooo)

"That was my… great-uncle. I think." Natsumi informed him flatly as he came out of their home to watch her deal with the remains of the tree she had felled.

The oak probably would've threatened the house in a few years, Shikaku noted idly as he leaned up against the wall. "He's an ass. They'll try official channels next, so we'll hear anything further about it from the others first."

She slammed the new ax head into a rather thick branch, not even blinking when it got halfway before the friction stopped it. With chakra assistance she might be able to chop all the way through with one swing, but that would defeat the purpose of chopping down the tree to work out her irritation and anger on it. "I'm _sorry_ , Shika. I shouldn't have left you to deal with that, but…"

"I would much rather point out how stupid their clan is as you cut down a tree than clean up a dead body out of our home. I could do that all day, honestly."

Given his wife's rather capricious hold on her temper lately, a dead body was an actual worry.

It was one thing to kill in Konohagakure's name, it was another thing completely if you killed a Leaf citizen without due cause.

"I gave them fair warning. If they try anything here I can get them officially banned from clan grounds. If they bother you after you tell them to stop, you can get the Uchihas to issue a restraining order." If they tried anything not strictly legal, she could then kill them and not expect to get slapped on the wrist for it or demoted.

Irritating a depressed or grieving ninja was a suicidal thing to do, especially if you had been warned off once. Only friends and comrades of that grieving ninja ever had the guts to do it, but that was either because they knew enough to evade any attempts to kill them or were confident they could restrain their fellow shinobi.

Panther, as both an ANBU captain and assassination specialist, was someone very few ninja would ever try to irritate. Natsumi, as a fūinjutsu and kenjutsu mistress as well as a jōnin kunoichi, would be left to their fellow jōnin or the S-ranked ninja by anyone with sense. Anyone who didn't was asking to be killed.

"Yes, because they would totally respect an Uchiha MP's orders even if they won't take a clan head's word at face value." Natsumi wrenched the ax out and finished cutting the branch off with another violent swing. "I wish I was surprised they were pulling this."

Shikaku understood, so he merely watched her finish dealing out her frustrations on the wood before her.

As bad as it was for her to know she had living blood family and know they wanted nothing to do with her, knowing they only now wanted to use her as either a broodmare or something to increase their standing with was pissing her off. The Kuramas probably didn't give a damn that she was a jōnin, kenjutsu and fūinjutsu mistress, ANBU captain, and one of the village's longest serving assassins; she had pulled off one of their illusions better than most of their clan could and they wanted that illusion using kunoichi alone.

The only reason Panther had volunteered to use that Kurama developed illusionary copy jutsu was to ensure Utatane Koharu didn't get ill from the nerve gas they had used to take Danzō down. The kunoichi elder had originally volunteered to be hit with it too, even knowing it might affect her health more than she could afford. Panther argued that all three elders becoming sick would be too obvious to any ninja that something had happened, and suggested the illusion instead. He was almost sorry elder Mitokado Homura had endured and survived it, as otherwise the Kuramas might not have ever known his wife was connected to them.

"The next time they try something, what would you say to calling Minato in to handle it for you?"

Natsumi actually laughed, if a bit wildly. "He's not best pleased with them in the first place, hubby mine. Not since he found out my biological otou-san's clan name. That would almost be as bad as getting _sensei_ to run interference for us a few times."

Shikaku thought about that. Two S-rank shinobi demonstrating how they were less than impressed with the Kuramas would almost be something he'd pay to see. "Can we ask him to do that? I would love to see it."

"I would too, honestly." She let the ax fall into the trunk, less irate now than when she stormed outside but a lot more depressed. "This sucks, like _massively_ sucks. The worst thing about it is had they actually talked to me before Minato did all those years ago, I probably would've gone along with whatever they wanted from me and been content with that."

Instead, Natsumi had to use a group of children not even ten years old for her emotional support as she dealt with her previous life's end and tried to be more than a dead woman in a living girl's body. She might not have the Kurama's kekkai genkai, but the reincarnation thing might just be a symptom of the bloodline thinning out in her. Instead of forming a separate personality to handle the reality influencing genjutsu and Yin Release abilities most Kuramas had, Natsumi's possible bastardized variation of it might have just pulled the lost soul of an ancient warrior woman long dead to help her.

It had ended up a little more harmful than assisting in the beginning, his wife's previous life. The kami knew she had been a very bitchy little girl when Minato pulled her along with him those first few times, though that was understandable given the still almost frequent nightmares of dying that had once caused Inoichi to lose control of his clan's mind walking jutsus.

That nightmare revisited her every damn time someone she knew died, the worst series of nights she had in the last few years had been when her old ANBU squad got demolished against Orochimaru. She had the same nightmares now again as well, but she at least knew her old taicho hadn't died like she had once so it was a little better on her sleeping patterns.

The Kurama clan should have been the ones to support her though that, Natsumi might not have gotten so depressed in the beginning or unknowingly almost starved herself to death had they watched over her like her clan should have done.

This had probably worked out better for her, but it didn't mean it still didn't hurt her to think about.

It made him pretty damn annoyed they had to use her mother's failsafe at all, which Mana had set up just in case her daughter showed something the Kuramas might actually want later in her life.

It was a bit scary to contemplate what Mesuji Mana had been like in person, if that was what she did to those that scorned her or her unborn child. Mana had set up a possible slow death to the Kurama clan's reputation and prestige with their own support, then attempted to ensure her daughter would know about it and have the tools to protect herself even if she died before she could see her revenge come true. Some of that needed Natsumi's efforts to work correctly, in finding a sponsoring clan and getting skilled enough to be noted because it was about her no matter what kind of vicious satisfaction her mother could get from it, but it still started with Mana's efforts to safeguard her daughter's future.

The Kurama clan wouldn't stop trying to get Natsumi now they knew what she could do, and every time they tried to pry her from the Nara clan's grip they would annoy yet another of their friends. The Kuramas needed her health, as quirky as it might be now from her injuries and missteps from ninja life, to boost their next generation's and try to secure a full kekkai genkai holder that wouldn't end up killing the user. Every generation that went by without one tarnished that clan's reputation and standing little by little.

Even the Hyūga and Uchiha clans kept track of bastards until chūnin rank or they reached sixteen years of age, if they did display their clan's kekkai genkai they adopted those bastards into the clan somewhere and legitimized them. Natsumi's former clan wouldn't get much sympathy for losing one of their bastards to the Naras, because they had cast an unborn child out well before any other clan would have and signed away any rights they might have had to her later in her life. Even the more prickly elders from the noble clans wouldn't bother trying to sympathize; Mana's revenge was more than just Natsumi's safety blanket to them, it was _entertainment_.

Ninjas greatly appreciated the art of getting revenge, especially watching another ninja's revenge against someone else.

He would fully admit to being a little afraid of his wife's dead mother. Mana was getting her revenge from beyond the grave, he didn't want to know what else that kunoichi had tried to set up to ensure her daughter's happiness and wellbeing after the first three years of Natsumi's life. Especially if it had anything to do with her daughter's future husband.

Shikaku sighed, allowing Natsumi to snake her arms around his waist after abandoning the new firewood stock. "Put them out of your mind, wife mine. I can handle it for you, you don't have to deal with it just yet."

"I'm going to have to do something eventually, Shika. They'll keep trying until something forces them to stop." Natsumi set her chin on his chest and quirked a lopsided, slightly bitter grin up him. "My money is on Hiruzen-sama, once they annoy him a time too many about it."

"Or your ever so scary kouhai could pay them a visit. He pulls off the scary and protective otouto routine rather well."

"Minato probably would if I asked him to. I do wonder if sensei would mind tagging along on that." She suddenly frowned, chasing a thought through her head for a moment. "I'll need to warn Eri-kaa-chan. She probably doesn't know taicho did sign for me well before I married you. And Kakashi-kun, crap."

Shikaku frowned as he followed his wife's thought. Eri was a civilian, but also technically head of a shinobi clan until Kakashi had the age and experience to take over. Sakumo signing Mana's revenge was supported by his own signature, but that didn't mean the Kuramas couldn't try to confuse the woman into invalidating that Hatake clan claim. The older woman would be hurt by that if it happened, even if it wouldn't threaten Natsumi's marriage to him or her place in his clan. Kakashi was probably helping his mother as much as he could, but he was still a twelve-year-old chūnin no matter how smart. A warning would probably be best, and the advice to pass anything to the Nara clan, since Natsumi had ended up in his clan, or the Uchihas, in case they made the civilian uncomfortable.

"I'll talk to Fugaku then, as soon as I can."

She gave him a slightly surprised look for that.

"What?"

"I thought you didn't like Fugaku."

"I don't. Professional courtesy."

Natsumi eyed him, a slight smirk pulling her lips. "Mmhmm. More like you refuse to admit you might be nursing a grudge."

Shikaku refused to address that. For one, she was smiling again. The second reason was that he wasn't entirely sure she was wrong.

\V/

With the Toad Sage back in the village and fully briefed on the Danzō situation, Panther was freed up a little to run Mongoose's first saboteur mission.

They were going to Wave to deal with a certain thug.

The assassin led her squad as close as they could get without resorting to using stealth and turned to her saboteur. They were far enough away that she would allow talking, as if any ninja were close enough to hear her despite her strange chakra senses they were already screwed, but not far enough not to be able to see what they had come here to do.

"You have only a few shots at this, Mongoose. You better only need one." She gestured to the building Mouse had informed them they had arranged a lowlife thug to receive when setting him up to challenge Kirigakure no Sato's control of the southern waterways. "Your target is Gato, once a minor drug runner turned business owner. We set him up to oppose a Mist owned shipping business, but he's gotten a bit too out of hand for us to ignore. Since we did cause it, you'll be ending it. Destroy the business, and ensure Gato never runs another again by whatever means."

Mongoose nodded thoughtfully, already examining the crates stacked outside the doors leading into the warehouse portion of the building. "Including everyone on the squad, taicho?"

"Yes. Get to work."

He flashed her a look, Panther guessed amusement, before slipping off to get actual eyes on what he had to work with.

The assassin flicked her fingers at Stag to get him to follow.

Having once been ROOT, the bodyguard could be pretty stealthy even compared to his stealth specialist captain. Panther still wasn't entirely sure about him, but that was why they started saboteur missions on civilians and not Hidden Villages. If there was trouble, she could kill the bodyguard and simply slaughter all the witnesses to keep her student safe.

(ooo000ooo)

Mongoose slipped back to his taicho's side just as dawn broke out over the east sea.

Panther cocked her head to the side, but all the saboteur did was make a signal of 'wait'.

Stag had beaten the younger ANBU agent back, thankfully. The captain was pretty sure Mongoose wouldn't have shown any appreciation for that.

Instead of lingering in what little wooded forests the Land of Wave had around this little village port, Panther motioned for her squad to spread out and take to the roofs so they would have a better view of what Mongoose had done.

It didn't take long.

Gato arrived to work an hour after daybreak, but by then his warehouse workers had quit.

The smell of a few hundred pounds of rotting fish was rather nasty, in Panther's opinion. She wasn't surprised they had quit instead of trying to tackle that. She was just thankful she had picked a spot upwind of it, because the occasional gusts that got to them were bad enough.

Those workers looked rather shifty to her as well, but that might just be her.

Gato, seeing as all of his legitimate business was quite literally reduced to fertilizer, threw a temper tantrum. Then he had to bribe a few of his more 'workmen' like warehouse guards, who should've caught the fish rotting on their watch, into pitching in and helping to clean up while he found new workers.

However, when he went to go fetch the bribe money he now owed his thugs, he finally noticed he had been rather expertly robbed down to his last ryo.

Petty thieves were usually smarter than that in hiding their stashes. Behind a painting of the man himself was rather… predictable.

Panther snorted as Gato threw yet another tantrum, feeling Mongoose knock into her chest plate with his shoulder in shared amusement as they watched.

That attracted the attention of the gentlemen that had so graciously volunteered to assist the drug-runner with his rotten fish problem, and hearing that they were probably not going to be paid for their hard work they started to get irritated.

Gato blustered and lied through his teeth, the four shinobi watching caught that, saying that while his business money might be gone he still had cash. He just had to go get it.

Mouse hastily smothered what sounded suspiciously like a snicker when Wave's Merchant's Guild Masters chose then to show up.

The lead of those old men waved a envelop under Gato's nose, as apparently one of his workers had uncovered his smuggling business and had the information couriered to the Guild out of outrage. Not only that, but his warehouse was now a health hazard and he had a day to get it clean or be shut down.

Panther was rather impressed Mongoose had remembered not to just leave the information on the Guild Master's desk. Leaving information lying around was a calling card of shinobi involvement, but damned if they would ever stop doing it the easy way instead of hanging around to explain to some poor, scared civilian why a ninja was lurking in their formerly secured and _locked_ offices.

The Guild Master continued with a few threats about dragging Gato to the capital and having him explain this to Daimyo of Wave, and all the fees and penalties being caught smuggling carried with it.

Gato had to spend a few hours explaining, pleading, cajoling, begging, and smoothing over a number of hot tempers, but there was a reason Konohagakure chose him to threaten a well-to-do business. He was a crafty son of a bitch, and while he would be investigated and his business watched closely, he managed to escape that one with little more than a damaged reputation with the Merchant's Guild.

However that was also the point the civilian police finally thought to arrive, following up on an anonymous report of drug possession by one of Gato's former workers against another. The supposedly former drug runner tried to protest, but the Guild Master overruled him and granted the police the right to search the building using Gato's just newly acquired probationary status as a merchant for the reason why.

They found the caches of drugs being smuggled in the rotten swordfish shipment instead.

Drugs were, quite frankly, illegal. Drug running _and_ smuggling at the same time?

Gato ended up arrested on the spot. His guard thugs decided they didn't like that and rioted. Somehow, the warehouse Gato owned ended up being put to the torch.

Burning, rotten fish smelled a lot worse than just rotten fish.

Burning, rotten, and _drugged_ fish?

Well… it was interesting to watch at least.

Panther started backing up her squad, she didn't want any of them to get caught in that. There was no telling what drugs were in that smoke, and she was trying to stay healthy.

Stag almost staggered off the roof when he caught a gust of it moments later, but Mouse had her hand encased in green glowing chakra and attached to his head before he could trip off the building they were perched on. She also wrenched the bodyguard off the ornamental roof decoration he had been sitting on, before he could attract attention with his erratic movements.

Mongoose tapped out a question on her back, and Panther nodded in return as she rummaged around in Mouse's medic pouch.

She pulled a mouth guard and nose plugs out of the iryou-nin's stash of equipment, fitting them on and taking in a deep breath before vaulting off the roof to the other side of the street.

Even with her airways closed up, Panther felt dizzy before she even touched down on the roof. Ignoring the burning in her eyes, she located Gato and very 'accidently' knocked the drug runner into the fire, getting the hell out of dodge before someone could spot her white armor plates though their drugged haze.

Panther kept a roof away from her squad, pulling both her mask and the nose plugs off as she controlled her exhale to last as long as she could. There was really no telling what drugs Gato had stored in there, and tempting fate wasn't the best idea.

When she breathed in, she almost sneezed from how badly she now reeked. The dizziness was going away, though, hopefully she wasn't under the influence of whatever was in that cloud.

Mouse waited for her nod, and checked her over as a precaution. The medic didn't demand any safe location to purge Panther's system, so the captain assumed she wasn't drugged.

(ooo000ooo)

"They won't always be that easy, Koichi."

"I know. But why did we start there?"

Natsumi thought about it, but there really wasn't any reason not to tell him. "We set that up, remember. It was supposed to be an assassination mission, but I got Jackal to give it over so you could see how your sabotage methods worked out without a lot of risk to you or the squad."

Koichi frowned at her, pulling his brush away from the mission report he had been working on in her ANBU captain's office. "Why Gato? I went through his paperwork, taicho. He was a real piece of work."

"Sometimes, the thugs we set up like that stop being thugs. It doesn't always happen, and when it goes wrong it can go spectacularly wrong, but occasionally those situations work out for the better. Obviously, this was not one of them."

Naruto would never have a bridge named after him now, Natsumi couldn't bring herself to care. An A-rank the first mission outside the village was stupidly suicidal, there was no reason to allow that.

She did wonder where Zabuza and his ice chick would go instead…

Wait, hadn't the ice user been a guy?

Natsumi blinked at her desk, confused.

That… _what?_ No, surely that had been a girl. Right?

"Taicho?"

"What's the date?"

Koichi blinked at her, looking rather resigned to addressing her time keeping problems one more time. "Again?"

She shrugged. It was the first thing to pop into her head when she realized she had been distracted a moment too long. "What? I never can recall the damn thing."

"Why?"

"My anniversary is coming up, I would like to know I didn't miss it even if I'm pretty sure I have at least a month or two more."

Koichi rolled his eyes at her, going back to writing out the information he had gleaned from his rifling through Gato's office. "July eighth, taicho."

Natsumi hummed. She had another two months and a handful of days.

Her seventh wedding anniversary. It still surprised her she had been married for more than five years.

They could do something for it this time too, instead of being on different parts of the continent because of the on-going war. Knowing her husband, though, he would want to stay in.

Now, what had she been thinking about? The ice using man-she, right.

Natsumi blinked in surprise at her own train of thought, then shook her head and gave up trying to concentrate. "I must be high or something. Koichi, I'm going home for today. Remember to lock up on your way out."

"Hai, taicho." Her saboteur looked up again. "Want me to send Mouse over?"

"I have medic friends. I'll ask one to check me out to be sure."

It would annoy the ever loving hell out of Shia, but since it was cause on an ANBU mission Natsumi couldn't tell the recently returned chūnin much about it.

Skin contact and absorption was probably the root of that, since Mouse had checked her over but didn't see a cause to keep the squad in Wave until Stag and Panther were alright. Running back to Konohagakure probably had only just worked that through her system a little faster.

\V/

Natsumi grinned up at the civilian woman. "No, I can't tell you how I know I have a low tolerance for hallucinogens. Finding out was pretty interesting, though."

Eri merely heaved a sigh at her. "To be honest, neko-chan, I don't think I want to know."

The assassin would've preferred not knowing. She and Stag had come down with a case of very strange visions, Shia had to get help in restraining her before Natsumi wandered after that green colored cat out of sheer bemused curiosity. Stag had been punched out by a very unamused Tiger, who tied the former ROOT agent to a chair until one of the medics informed them all that Stag was under the influence of a drug and it wasn't his fault he had tried petting the taijutsu master's hair.

Shikaku hadn't been amused to learn his wife had been drugged, but at least Natsumi had managed to tell him it was mission induced and not a malicious attempt to harm her before she couldn't remember what she was doing. He had been mollified that she had been on her way to see a medic about it well before the visions started, at least.

Koichi had been horrified and amused in equal measure to learn his first sabotage efforts had drugged his squad mate and captain. The fire hadn't been his fault, but the results were still his.

Luckily the story was restricted to a few ANBU agents that helped Shia restrain a drugged ANBU captain and a few Naras that knew her pretty well. Natsumi didn't need rumors of drug abuse heaped on her already rather tarnished reputation.

Eri tugged a lock of her hair, drawing the assassin's attention back to her. "The Kuramas did try to see me while you were gone."

Natsumi frowned, arching her neck a little more to see the civilian's face clearly for any signs of stress or irritation. Since her head was in the physically older woman's lap, it was rather easy. "What happened?"

"Jiraiya-sama and Koharu-sama were having tea with me when they came by." The Hatake Matriarch smirked slightly. "Jiraiya-sama did bolt to my door the moment he heard a Kurama was heading my way."

The kunoichi had begged her sensei to keep an eye on Sakumo's widowed wife for her while she had been gone, so she wasn't at all surprised by that. They both still considered Eri as someone to protect, because Sakumo had asked them repeatedly to keep an eye out for her well before he died. Koharu was a little surprising, normally Eri went to the elder's home for tea when Kakashi took his sister to the park for a few hours after team training.

"So? They tried to see you?"

"Yes, although Jiraiya-sama was the one to answer the door." Eri threaded her fingers through the Leopard Summoner's long hair a few times, smirking until Natsumi snorted at her for drawing it out. "He took care of it, I didn't talk to them."

"Making me worry for nothing? You're _mean_ , Eri-kaa-chan."

A few tugs on her scalp informed her that she was going to get a braid or two.

"I've had to become a little mean, keeping up with you all."

"You did it awesomely, just so you know."

Eri gave the prone assassin an amused smile. "Thank you, I think."

Natsumi was perfectly content to allow the woman to play with her hair, but she held the suspicion that Eri wanted to talk about something that was bothering her.

"Can I ask you something, neko-chan?"

"Sure?"

"If I asked you to stop, would you?"

Eri was asking if Natsumi would give up being ninja for her.

She blinked up at her, not entirely surprised by this line of questioning but not entirely sure why it was brought up. "I would try, if you asked. I might not be able to, because I don't know what else I would do for work and this is what I'm used to. I can't do nothing. I'll probably resent you for asking, though."

Eri gave her a sad smile in return for the bluntly honest answer. "I was afraid of that."

"You're not really asking, are you?"

"No, I just wanted to know if you would try for me. Morbid curiosity on my part, I know better than to ask a shinobi that. You take after Sakumo a little in that way."

They were in the Hatake clan's living room, they heard Team Seven come in long before they saw them.

"Are you playing with Natsu-nee's hair _again_ , kaa-chan?"

"You never let me play with yours, Kakashi-kun." Eri graced her first born son with a smile, not even flinching at seeing his very similar coloring to his father's.

Natsumi was proud of her, Fiona's mother had taken two years before she could do that. Eri had gotten over it in a month with a little work from Natsumi and Inoichi.

That had started her involvement with psychology, figuring out what caused her mother to be unable to look at her fully for those years.

She also had to agree with that statement. Kakashi could get rather mean if you messed with his hair and were stupid enough to linger for his retaliation or didn't distract him with something else before he could. Natsumi could get away with tugs or a ruffle here or there, but not too often. Midori was apparently the only one allowed to have prolonged contact with his hair, she had her brother's hair in her grips as she rode on his shoulders.

Kakashi had very fine, very silky, feathery hair. It might stick up in spikes and look stiff, but the assassin swore petting it was addicting.

It also made Natsumi jealous, because her hair was thick enough to strangle someone with. She had done that once too, on a mission she lost most of her gear on and wanted over with so she could go home.

From the way Rin couldn't stop sneaking peeks at the baby's fists, she wanted to play with her teammate's hair too.

Obito had pulled a face at the subject matter, shuddering. "That's my cue to leave. See you tomorrow, Kakashi-kun, Rin-chan, Midori-chan. I'll stop by in the morning, Eri-sama. Hello and good bye, Natsumi-sama."

"Coward." Kakashi blandly told him to his face as Midori giggled and tugged on his hair again.

"Way too many girls for me. Sorry old man," the Uchiha gave his teammate a salute on his way out of the room, "it's every male for himself."

Natsumi snickered. "I see no men here, only little boys."

Obito turned back only briefly to give her a mock angry look, but still left the house with all due speed that he could get away with under Eri's roof.

Rin huffed, seemingly annoyed by her teammate's abrupt leave taking, before glancing at the prone assassin. "Are you alright, Natsumi-sama?"

"Meh… I've been better." She eyed the little medic warily. "I've been checked over, just have to wait out a few hours to be less nauseous."

Midori squealed at Kakashi's rapid head movement, tugging the poor chūnin's hair harder to try to get him to turn again.

"Nauseous? You're not pregnant, are you?"

"I'm not pregnant. It's mission related."

"Poison?"

"Close enough."

Kakashi eyed her as if staring long enough would tell him what was wrong with her, and all Natsumi could do was roll her eyes back at him.

Great, he had inherited his father's worrywart habits.

"I swear to the _kami_ , you're like a taicho mini-me."

Eri's blurted out spat of laughter got her children to focus back on her, even the adopted one.

"Sorry," the civilian woman apologized after a moment, smirking, "I recalled the first time you called him that."

Sakumo had dressed a baby Kakashi in a miniature of his jōnin uniform one day, Natsumi had never let the man live it down. To be sure of that, she told Eri the next time she saw her.

"I still think you're pulling my leg. Otou-sama wasn't that kind of man."

"I still wish I had a camera. It was the cutest thing I ever saw." Natsumi grabbed Rin's hand before she could touch the assassin. "That's a _really_ bad idea."

The medic allowed the diagnostic jutsu she had almost preformed to fade from her hand, sheepishly cringing in the Nara's grip. "I'm sorry."

Natsumi eyed her for a moment before letting go. "There might be security reasons why I refused you, Rin-chan. Don't try using jutsus on jōnin, we're a paranoid bunch and probably won't take that well even if you are a medic."

Since even Kakashi was staring at her in surprise, Rin flushed a bit redder than the assassin had seen yet. "Sorry. It's just… I heard you would be trying for a child soon, Natsumi-sama. And I know kunoichi sometimes have issues trying to conceive. I was a little worried."

The older kunoichi blinked a few times. "Do you want in on that? It won't be for a year and a half or so because we're not trying yet, but I will allow you to keep tabs on my pregnancy when it happens."

"Really?"

"As long as you don't try this again, I don't see why not."

The younger girl went back to being beet red. "Sorry. Yes please."

"I'm still telling Minato-sensei." Kakashi remarked almost idly. "You're really lucky Natsu-nee knows you, Rin-chan."

"That's enough, you two. Rin-chan has apologized a few times." Eri carefully got up, to ensure she didn't jar the assassin too much, and stretched a bit before taking Midori from her brother. "I am certain she will recall this before attempting any more medical sneak attacks. At least she didn't end up with a kunai through the hand."

The chūnin blinked at his mother, then turned to his older sister in awe. "You _didn't_."

Natsumi stuck her tongue out at him. "I _did_. In my defense, I didn't know he was behind me and he didn't try to warn me. All I felt was the medical jutsu and stabbed out of instinct before someone either put me to sleep or scrambled something I needed."

Rin squeaked, looking horrified.

The assassin shrugged lazily. "Medics are scary, honestly. You could rip apart someone's bodily systems without any overt damage done to an opponent, or any immediate sign that there is damage done."

"What happened?"

"I was a little dazed and a bit deaf from an explosive seal going off too close to me, and staggered to the medic's point in Earth." Natsumi informed her little brother dryly. "Tsunade-sama sat me down somewhere, but some idiot of a medic thought it was just because my injuries weren't severe. He didn't realize that sensory damage made jōnin even more paranoid than usual, and didn't connect that with me. He touched me from behind, when I could clearly see Tsunade-sama across the camp and knew it wasn't her, so I reacted. You should've heard her chew the iryou-nin out, though. I was told later it was rather impressive for a mid-war lecture on the proper methods of approaching an injured jōnin, complete with very explicit examples of what else could've happened."

"Enough with the war stories." Eri placed Midori on Natsumi's stomach, since the little girl was blinking a bit too slowly to be not tired enough for a nap. "Rin-chan knows better now. A different story for Midori-chan, neko-chan, please."

"Kashi-chan's favorite bedtime story?"

Kakashi flushed a bit, but ambled over to the couch in case his mother said yes.

The civilian woman sighed at all of them. "Why that one? It's just as bloody."

Natsumi grinned up at her, a little apologetic but mostly mischievous. "Ninja."

Eri gave her a less than pleased look for that, but finally shook her head. "As long as you two like it, I suppose."

"Alright. Rin-chan? Want to hear about a foiled assassination attempt on Eri-kaa-chan and Kashi-chan when he was less than a year old?"

\V/

"I owe you an apology, apparently."

Natsumi smirked at Minato. "It's fine, Rin-chan apologized already and knows why it's a bad idea to try sneaking medical jutsus on jōnin."

He didn't look reassured. "Be that as it may, that was still rather stupid of her."

"Everyone has moments of stupidity, kouhai. You would only owe me an apology if she ever tried again."

"I never had a problem with Rin-chan before." Minato ran a hand over his face in exasperation and took a seat next to the assassin on her backyard porch. "Why she even thought of it is beyond me."

Natsumi snickered. "Because the boys are behaving. Someone needs to be the problem child on Team Seven, it's her turn."

He gave her a flat look for that.

"What? I was me on our Team Seven."

Minato rolled his eyes and settled in to watch the sunset with her.

"I owe you a story, don't I?"

"I even got us home a month early," he airily reminded her with a grin, "and I have to be the one to seek you out for it? I thought this was my bribe?"

He didn't mention why it had taken him so long to come and collect on that bribe, as that was fairly obvious.

"You're the one that wants to hear them." Natsumi thought about telling him about her original father's death, but that was a little morbid for something she was using as a bribe. "How about… a second-hand story? I can't recall any of this myself, but I got teased a lot for it."

"Oh?"

"My kaa-chan had a nii-san, who was also my godfather. He was pretty much a diehard bachelor for most of my childhood, and he lived with us for my early years. When he moved out I cried for days, because I was about two at the time and didn't realize I would see him again. The next time I saw my ji-chan, I promptly disappeared from everyone's sights. They smelled me long before finding me, as I had gotten into his room and found the cologne he wore before apparently pouring the entire bottle over myself. I did that five times, until my godfather gifted me my own bottle it. I never touched that bottle, but still stole his whenever we went to visit him until I was four."

Minato snorted, clapping a hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing.

"Oh, go ahead and laugh. That's the whole reason I tell you these things."

"No… it's just… I keep thinking of a mini you trying to steal Jiraiya-sensei's bottle of that stuff."

Natsumi snickered, almost helplessly. "Okay. That is hilarious. Sometimes I do wonder what goes on in your head."

"A fair few people would pay to know what goes on in yours, sempai."

"They can keep wondering."

Her brother in all but blood hummed, eyeing her expression. "What's wrong?"

She wrinkled her nose at him, it wasn't worth it to try to evade him now. "How hard do you think it would be to tell Shika I _might_ have an eating disorder without letting him panic about it?"

" _What?_ "

Natsumi blinked at Minato, who blinked back just as surprised and worried as that voice had been.

Not quite so panicked, though.

They both turned to look at Shikaku, who was staring at them both having just rounded the house to see what they were up to.

The assassin planted her face in her hands.

Shikaku had an Akimichi teammate. His view of eating habits and nutritional health had almost been drilled into him by Chouza, who pretty much tended to cluck when his teammates skipped even one meal to get their work done faster. She didn't want to worry him, as her supposed eating disorder wasn't really her specifically not eating or eating too much.

Natsumi just could not eat a full meal anymore. She also didn't feel hunger unless her chakra levels got to the point of exhaustion or she was recovering from that.

She blamed both her sensei and taicho, as they had practically stuffed her to the point of bursting after her first stint in ANBU.

Natsumi ate more out of habit than actual need, because back when she started cooking for Minato it was about the same time Jiraiya and Sakumo got it into their heads that if they fed her more than she was comfortable with she would eventually gain some weight back. That had caused her to start ignoring that body signal of being too full or too empty, because she knew if she said anything one of the two shinobi she learned under would stop and practically force feed her until they were happy with the amount she ate.

While they were correct in that assumption about her weight, they had also broken her instinctive impulse most people relied on to tell them to eat.

If she hadn't eaten with Minato as well he worried she was getting sick, so to prevent that she made enough for them both even if she hadn't been hungry. Kushina joining in when she confessed she didn't know how to cook either just ensured there was always food stored in Natsumi's fridge, and she got into the habit of planning in advance for meals instead of waiting for a signal that she was hungry that would never happen. Then she fixed food for both herself and her husband after her marriage, and ate even if she was by herself but wasn't hungry because by that time it was learned behavior to eat after cooking. Eri had impressed on her cooking when worried or upset, which really only hid that eating problem Natsumi had.

Psychologically, she also couldn't eat a full meal because of being stuffed to the point of discomfort. She instinctively learned that eating everything on a plate or in a bowl hurt her, so she avoided it when she could. That had repeated enough times to become a habit, something that would only take acknowledgement and reconditioning to break. She did everything except finish her meals, talking though it or giving part of her food away to someone else.

Natsumi did eat enough to be healthy even with all that going on, but drawing a blank when the medic asked you when the last time you felt hungry without chakra exhaustion involved wasn't really a good thing.

That didn't include the days she couldn't recall eating at all in, but that was mostly ANBU mission work and would be ignored for the duration of this conversation.

She very calmly explained most of that to both her husband and brother.

Neither looked at all reassured.

Natsumi resigned herself to being coddled for another few months at least, until she could show to all and sundry that she had a handle on the problem and was fixing it.

Knowing her luck, Chouza would inform his clan once he heard and every time she saw an Akimichi they would try to stuff her too. Inoichi might just inform his own, and she'll have Yamanakas clucking at her food intake and for not catching the issue herself every damn day until it wasn't a problem. Shikaku would tell them both and the clan as soon as he could, so he would be assured that if his team was gone _someone_ would prevent his wife from unknowingly starving herself again.

Ibiki would learn from that happening, tell her other students and the students of her friends, and she wouldn't get any relief from that corner. Gai wasn't exactly quiet when surprised in the village, every civilian in earshot would hear. Rin had already discarded the warnings medics got about jōnin ranked shinobi once before, she would probably try again without permission just so Minato didn't worry.

Kushina would _love_ to pay her back for ensuring she ate well when they were genin, because that kunoichi was a very independent woman at her core and had been pathetically grateful for being taught to cook. The fact Natsumi had gone and actually found her a surviving Uzumaki clansmen would just bolster than determination to pay her back, even if Nagato never managed to personally meet her.

Koichi would inform his father and Mouse, who would probably be very unamused to learn there had been a problem and Panther had never told her. Mouse would inform the ANBU General and her fellow black ops medics, who would check with the Hokage about it just because those two tended to talk a lot.

Hiruzen would then tell his wife. Biwako would tell Tsunade if the medic Natsumi saw about her health didn't do it first, the Slug Princess would inform Jiraiya if any Nara didn't do it for her first as well.

The Toad Sage himself was not often a quiet man. Especially when he worried or fussed over his students, thinking the embarrassment would teach them not to ever do it again.

It would probably be all over the village in a matter of hours, to the point she was sure Eri would hear by dinnertime and she was rather isolated with only Kakashi as a regular information pipe. Koharu might even tell the Hatake Matriarch before her son could, so Natsumi started planning on what she was going to tell the civilian woman when she showed up in a fast hurry.

She was thankful Tsume, Shibi, and Fugaku were gone again, deployed to both contested countries they were still at war with. Mikoto would still inform the Uchiha MPs, though, and she would get an eyeballing glare every mealtime from them. There would still be trackers hunting her down to ensure she was eating as well, because even if the heads of the Inuzuka and Aburame clans were gone their clans tended to watch over their interests within the village.

Shibi had gotten used to using her as tracker stalking training for some of his clan members to boot, because if he had to put up with her she had to do something that would pay for it.

There would be _bugs_ , lots of bugs, following her around for the next few days. Probably hitching rides on all the dogs that would start trying to stalk her.

There was the niggling thought that if Komushi or Sasori heard she would specifically hunt down whoever did it just so she could kill them for it… but it would probably be Ibiki. Her second fūinjutsu student still sent letters to her first one sometimes, when he wanted a different opinion for an idea and Natsumi said hell no she wouldn't teach him how to do that.

The explosive seal linked to his name had been bad enough, though still an interesting seal she might have copied and snickered over possibly using it.

Her friends were awesome, but sometimes annoying when they worried.

Natsumi started laughing, almost helplessly. "You both are idiots, but I love you two anyways. It's not a problem, just something that needs to be watched for."

There, that would at least give her a day to brace herself.

She would never forgive herself if she couldn't tell them like how Sakumo managed to get himself killed before she got up the guts to tell him. There was also the creeping doom feel of running out of time that kept nagging at her, because she probably only had just enough time for a few last tweaks before an insane and ancient Uchiha started gunning for her village and her kouhai.

Natsumi wanted to be sure she had no more regrets before that… or at least a few as possible.

Shikaku's jaw dropped, shocked out of being irritated. She was also pretty sure Minato stopped breathing for a moment.

"I love you too, wife mine. Now, about this _eating disorder_ …"

…or not. Shikaku could adapt and move on from her shocking him. After almost seven years married to her, it should've been apparent he could do that.

"That is a little alarming, sempai. How can it not be a problem? You nearly starved when we were genin."

Natsumi pouted at him, exasperated. "What the _hell?_ "

Minato condescendingly patted her on the head with a broad grin, fond and amused as well as being totally annoying in his little brother way. "Love you too. Back to this issue though, sempai."

"You know what? I change my mind, I hate you both."

Shikaku ignored that and her, looking at the blond sitting next to his wife. "Go tell Inoichi while I get the details. Bring him back here. Chouza too, if you can find him."

Somehow, the jōnin got out of her reach and saluted her ever so stubborn husband in a bare second. "Will do."

She hunched her shoulders and scowled up at him. "Really? You're going to do this?"

"Well… yes. I would like to know for sure that you are alright too, sempai. Put up with it for a little while." Minato shrugged at her, then was gone in a flash of his bright ass hair.

Shikaku hauled her to her feet before she could turn on him, and kissed her before she could open her mouth to complain.

"Shut up already, Natsu. You knew perfectly well this would happen."

"Well yeah, but what's the fun if I can't bitch and moan about it?"

He grunted, still frowning and visibly measuring her weight as if hauling her up didn't let him know she was somewhere where a kunoichi of her size should weigh. "But an _eating disorder_ , of all the damn things you had to have. I would swear you do this just to make me worry if I didn't know better."

"Love you too, hubby mine."

Shikaku eyed her expression. "You did know you used 'awesome' instead of 'I love you' or 'I love this' for the last five or so years, right?"

She was going to kill Inoichi… if he never told Sakumo that too. "It is not fun when another psychologist spills your secrets to your own playthings. Ino sucks _ass_ sometimes."

"I'm going to ignore the fact you just called me a plaything."

"You like playing with me too."

Shikaku blinked, but had to nod at that point.

"I _DON'T_ NEED TO _KNOW_ THAT!"

"Minato's behind me with Inoichi, isn't he?"

"And Chouza, but those two look a little motion sick so it might be a moment for them. I think the hiraishin seal is on my shed."


	20. Divergence

_ROAD, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go._

_All roads, howsoe'er they diverge, lead to Rome, Whence, thank the good Lord, at least one leads back home._

_\- Borey the Bald_

* * *

Natsumi would like to bang her head into a wall right now, thank you very much, physically unable to stand or not.

She had known Koichi would have a few problems, she had even planned on it.

Switching specialties did cause a few of what ninja ironically dubbed as 'growing pangs'. It sometimes happened between genin and chūnin rank, when a shinobi switched over to a completely different job classification that needed different things from them. Konoha-nin got genin rank near eleven and chūnin around fourteen to sixteen, normally anyways, those ninja growing pangs happened around the time they finally finished growing physically.

A shinobi was specifically trained for one specialty in the academy, the moment they showed either proficiency or interest in whatever area of ninja skills they ended up with. That training included a kind of conditioning that made shinobi react in certain ways to certain threats to them. Sometimes that trained reaction was all that kept genin alive, and when that happened it was normally the point in which most ninja started training themselves to react to other things in certain ways so a bad mission or injury wouldn't happen again.

Natsumi had hers, double checking a target was dead by shoving a blade through their chest or slitting throats when able. Ensuring her targets had injuries that were nearly impossible to survive, so when she turned her back they couldn't try to kill her in return. Minato had his, spamming his hiraishin seals everywhere and teleporting on instinct when his guard was up. His fighting style was mostly reactive, with both his fūinjutsu and ninjutsu usage, he needed that space to adjust to whoever he was fighting. Together, they used his hiraishin and her cold-blooded instincts to keep a target off balance and herd them into lethal traps or strikes.

Shikaku had a habit of sliding behind Inoichi when they confronted a target, because his Yamanaka teammate could pick up on body language faster than he could but his shadows could compensate for the distance if he watched his teammate's tensed back for cues. Inoichi manipulated people into Chouza's reach when he was unsure, the Akimichi clan head kept to unthreatening behavior unless Inoichi signaled him through either keywords or slight motions he needed him to be intimidating or their team leader nodded to him to start whatever confrontation by force.

Gai had learned to surprise or unnerve people their team met, using his enthusiasm only they tolerated and encouraged to throw others off balance for his team. Natsumi and Ibiki observed their reactions, picking out who flinched or drew back from the taijutsu user, while Koichi kept an eye on their surroundings for them. Ibiki had learned to do it on his own without her there to help so when the chūnin cell had a mission without her they weren't too badly off, to the point he had started _swearing_ by Gai's perceptive intuition. It wasn't fact based like their jōnin-sensei's, and therefore explainable, but just as good as an instinctive impulse because the taijutsu user tended to pick the very person their intelligence team had been sent to investigate to throw off balance.

Those habits became behavioral marks over time, an unconscious signal that this was your ninja comrade and not an infiltrator, so it was pretty much scratched at once and then ignored. Shinobi were nosy bastards, that was a fact of life, but usually it was more out of concern than suspicion at first.

Koichi had gotten used to watching Natsumi and Ibiki dissect a target, observing why or how they reacted and what that probably meant. His usual job during that was to watch their backs, ensuring wherever it was they were was secured and reporting anything unusual. He had also left Gai the heavy work in confrontations, because the taijutsu user insisted he could handle it. Koichi's role on the chūnin cell was additional intelligence gathering and a watch guard, he had been good for that too.

A scout was trained to be speedy, to give succinct but short reports and evade or fight off any attempts to prevent them to return.

A saboteur was trained differently, to be stealthy to the point it becomes second nature and to predict a target's movements and foil it before they think of it.

Obviously, there would be some conflict when a scout changed over to saboteur.

Applying those lessons she had given the then infiltrator to cause that behavior so other people would get suspicious of a target was harder than just picking out who held a guilty conscious. He also held an instinct to flee and discard stealth, because for a scout the most important part of his role was to report regardless of what happened.

Sabotaging physical things was also a lot easier than sabotaging a person's image or reputation.

She had taken that into account, starting Mongoose off on civilian targets that she would have to kill anyways. He got the experience in figuring out how or why certain types of people reacted to this or that and the target would die anyways before he or she could wonder about their rash of bad luck. The saboteur could also see how much was too much, and just what effort would be needed for different personality types before they started doing stupid things that would do the rest of his work for him.

His first mission had probably been him being a little over enthusiastic, but it had ended well even if she ended up drugged to the gills.

Mongoose's second saboteur mission had… okay, the young man had needed two shots but he succeeded in the end.

Panther wasn't surprised he overcompensated for his third, not _happy_ but also not _shocked_.

Their fourth mission as a sabotage squad, though?

The fact the mission turned her lower right leg into so much bloody meat aside, it was still a success. Technically.

It was an assassination mission, they had to die anyways.

There was also the little fact that if Mongoose had succeeded on his own she wouldn't have had to kill about thirty people with only Stag as backup, but that was why they were starting out on civilians.

Her injury was caused when the corrupt noble, a suspicious and a self-entitled asshole if there ever was one, somehow called in a Kiri shinobi team to investigate his mysterious rash of bad luck.

They were still in Fire Country, Panther would pay to know how the hell a Fire noble had connections to Water and Mist when even their Hidden Village couldn't get spies into there. They wouldn't know now, she had to set the country manor on fire to cover their tracks, and that connection was probably ash and char now.

That Kiri team hadn't exactly been a threat, probably at most chūnin level, but even chūnin could get lucky with a last ditch effort to kill the captain of the Konoha ANBU team they ran into when she was distracted gutting their teammates.

Panther had to pop a blood replenishing pill as Mouse worked to knit her calf back together enough to stop the bleeding. The pills weren't instant, just by swallowing one she didn't have more than the usual five liters of blood to lose, but it was practically a condensed iron supplement with a few other things mixed in that would promote blood regeneration in her for the next few hours. They also had a strong stimulant in it, to prevent dizziness or lightheadedness from occurring until the medic either knocked you out or you could get some sleep on your own.

One shouldn't use blood pills when they expected a fight, though. Those things were for after battle specifically because the stimulant wearing off was _nasty_ enough to knock out a jōnin.

Mongoose couldn't tear his eyes away from the bloody limb, making her sure he was going to do the whole 'beat himself up' thing over it.

Hence the whole 'she wanted to beat her head in' problem currently swimming around her head as she tried not to pass out from the pain and blood loss.

Koichi was one of the few that hadn't thrown a titanic fit over her little disorder. He glared at her every mealtime, true, but he just kept an eye on the amount she ate and reminded her to eat when she forgot.

Now instead of that he was going to fuss for the next week about her walking around. Pretty much tipping the rest of her friends off that she had gotten injured yet again.

It seriously made her wonder which kami she had pissed off.

Panther eyed her rookie intently as the medic finished kitting the skin together to finally stem the last of her blood loss.

Should she pull him? She wasn't surprised he panicked and went overboard, but that would end up killing him if he didn't watch it. If she did, it would be likely that he would come back and serve under another ANBU captain. She was more than sure she was on her last year or so of active ANBU service, because if there were two things that didn't mix it would be assassinations and pregnancy.

She'd give him the option then, later. To take a short break, half to a full year, then come back to try again.

She could even get Cell Nine deployed for a short while if she got suspicious he was pushing himself too hard.

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi was pretty sure she wasn't limping, so why was her husband eyeing her like that?

"Inoichi's not certain, but he's pretty sure his girlfriend doesn't want to meet you."

Well… _that_ was different. The Kuramas hadn't stopped trying to see her yet. "Why?"

Shikaku shrugged. "He doesn't know."

The Leopard Summoner pressed her lips together, thinking. "What's her name?"

"Are you going to stalk her or something?"

"Such faith, hubby mine. No, I would like to know I didn't specifically piss her off once. It's possible I might have."

He thought about it, but offered the name up with a shrug. "Kaonde Mayuko."

It didn't ring a bell, but that wasn't exactly surprising. Natsumi nibbled on her lower lip as she sank into her couch in the study. "I don't think I know her… does he know what she does? Where she works? I might have done something to either of those things."

Shikaku finished off his paperwork before turning to face her fully. "He said she's ANBU, but is looking to retire and switch to Intelligence with him. That's how they met."

Natsumi blinked at him, sitting back a little too fast to be completely controlled.

He arched an eyebrow. "What?"

"She's ANBU?"

"Yeah…?"

"Ah."

Shikaku stared at her out of pure bemusement. "That's it? Ah? What does that mean?"

"I might be… a little scary in ANBU." Natsumi rubbed her right knee, thinking of how to phrase it. "Cause… well, I've been an assassin for over ten years."

"I know." He still sounded a little confused, not really seeing the point.

"No, Shika. I've been an assassin for over ten years when the average lifespan of any assassin is _three_. Usually if an assassin survives that three year thing, they change over to something else or quit."

He frowned at her, mostly out of that confusion not being cleared up. "Well… that's impressive and all, Natsu, but why are you scary?"

"Because I'm also a captain. An ANBU captain assassination specialist. Which is about as high as you go in ANBU, discounting the ANBU General, and the order of captains go by a system devised from that life expectancy and your time as a captain. You get promoted by either surviving that time limit or doing something above and beyond your duties, which was about both in my case. I'm like… an unspoken second in command, _the_ senior captain depressingly enough, on top of that. If Bear-sama ever bites the dust, everyone knows I would give the orders next until Hiruzen-sama picks another ANBU General. I've been in that slot for the past two years, Shika. I will continue to be that until I retire."

The Nara clan head blinked a few times, processing that. "So…?"

"It would be like… oh, think of me like ANBU's version of the Jōnin Commander and Ino's girl as probably a chūnin thinking about asking for a personal favor. She might be a captain too, but that would just be like a tokubetsu jōnin asking if so. That kind of scary."

Shikaku cocked his head to the side, interested in that view of the situation. "Really?"

"Apparently. When I walk down the halls in ANBU headquarters they get the hell out of my way. It's a little disturbing, honestly."

That had only happened to the commissioned officers in Fiona's time, Natsumi getting it done to her was jarring even a few years after it started. She wasn't used to that, even with being the Nara clan's leading lady for two thirds of a decade. Someone calling her Nara-sama still made her want to look around for either Shikaku or Shikai. Getting saluted by the rookies or some agent respectfully standing aside when she walked down the halls of ANBU HQ just made her want to check to see if Bear was standing either next to or behind her somewhere.

She still thought of herself as a grunt after building a career from scratch for two militaries in different lifetimes, being shown that she wasn't to others that weren't her students didn't match up with that. Admittedly she practically _lived_ with the titans of Konohagakure no Sato's current shinobi corps, but of course they were that scary.

Minato was an S-rank now, joining Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Hiruzen in that kage-level. Shikaku and his team might get one to share between them, depending on how much Kumo decided they hated her husband and his teammates. Kushina would have an automatic one if anyone found out she was the nine-tails' jinchūriki. All the clan heads and their wives would probably get attacked like an S-rank would be if anyone had the guts to try outside of the village, they practically ran major parts of the Leaf on their own for Hiruzen.

Natsumi was pretty content with an almost across the board A-ranking threat assessment. For a part-time jōnin kunoichi whose work was normally done in the dead of night or from the shadows, that was a pretty good assessment of her by those that would never meet her personally. Her ANBU work might scrape her up an S-rank threat evaluation, but if any other Hidden Village learned of her ANBU captaincy and her usual line of work for certain she would hang up that mask.

It was one thing to know or guess she was Leaf ANBU, to know exactly what she did would mean there were more holes in Konoha's security than was safe for them.

There was also another problem if Inoichi's girlfriend was ANBU, but those were old rules. Which she may or may not be going along with because Panther was ancient in ANBU terms.

Generally an ANBU mask changed hands every three to five years, when the agent died or had no reason to continue lingering in headquarters. Only the career ANBU agents kept theirs long after they stopped running missions, those were the retired captains and the few agents that continually returned and pitched in again rather regularly.

Panther had belonged to the same kunoichi for just about thirteen years by now. She might not have served all thirteen years, the time between joining Team Seven and her jōnin promotion numbered about three or four years of not doing ANBU work, but she did survive it. She had almost seen everyone's mask change hands at least twice by now, except for Bear-sama's, Horse's… but Wolf's would be passed over soon.

"Tell Inoichi that I said to tell her to meet up with me in ANBU headquarters, which may just reassure her a little and let her be less scared of me. I refuse to put Momo through that, especially if this will work out how you want it to."

There was no guarantee, Natsumi wasn't Yoshino. She might have issues where the Chūnin Corps kunoichi didn't or hadn't at this point, or might just conceive faster.

Hell, she might just have a daughter instead of a son first.

"I'll pass it on, wife mine. Now, let me see your leg."

Natsumi pouted, but scooted over enough to put her foot in his lap. "Seriously? Who got here before me?"

"Mouse." Shikaku hiked up her pants' leg and traced a few of the faint silvery lines that now laced her right calf. "How bad was it?"

"Mostly cosmetic damage, the scars will fade if I actually get enough time to tan again. It ripped up the skin really well and it did tear up some muscle, but it wasn't really deep. I've got a week on leave in return." She sighed, examining the flawed skin, before frowning up at him. "Wait… _Mouse?_ Why did she come by?"

"I _asked_ her to, so I would know you are eating on missions."

Natsumi stared at him for a long moment, almost speechless. "No, I refuse to believe you can intimidate my ANBU squad into obeying you. _I_ can't intimidate my own damn squad, Shika! How the _hell_ did you manage that?"

One was a former ROOT agent, one had been with her for years, and her rookie was her own student. They either ignored her being scary or laughed it off.

He smirked at her, rubbing at the thin scars almost absently. "I'm just that good, apparently."

Well… that _was_ rather impressive. For a non-ANBU agent to intimidate an active duty ANBU agent into agreeing with a politely worded request? It wasn't against the rules, but Natsumi was sure that was because no one else would ever think of giving a request to an ANBU agent quite like how Shikaku could give one.

Her husband could be a surly _bastard_ if he wanted to be, those scars on his face just added to that aggressive air about him when he got irate or wanted to scare the shit out of someone.

That was… kind of hot, actually. Natsumi might be a little immune to that aggression from years of living with him, but she could appreciate it when he used it either for or on her.

She wasn't entirely sure what this was, for or on, but it was still hot.

Rubbing her lips, to keep the smirk from slipping onto her face, the assassin huffed and took her leg back in order to get up again. "I think I should complain or something, or possibly tell Mouse that if I catch her within ten feet of you I'll kill her."

"Possessive much, Natsu?"

"Of course. Your point, husband mine?" He still slid back a little to make room for her in his lap, Natsumi was certain he didn't really mind her getting possessive over him.

"Can't you feel my point?"

She blinked at him, amused. "That was as corny as hell, Shika."

"I've learned from the best." He claimed airily, planting his hands on her hips. "You only have yourself to blame, oh wife of mine."

Well… there really was only one answer to that.

Natsumi ground herself into him, smirking because that wiped the smirk on his face off and made his hands clench on her ass.

His eyes narrowed after he got hold of himself again. "A week did you say?"

"You can't keep me in bed the whole time, Shika. But yes, a week of downtime."

\V/

"I know you did something, taicho."

"I did nothing. I swear it on the soul of my katana."

Hiruzen had done it, when Natsumi told him quietly that his first born son seemed to be going at ANBU mission work too hard and she couldn't convince him to take a short break.

While it did suck, her chūnin cell was _finally_ getting deployed out from under her, this was a much better option than watching Mongoose dig into his work too hard and lethally screwing up.

Panther had seen that happen way too many times, it wasn't happening to her own damn rookie. Not if she could help it.

Besides, there was that little change Koichi hadn't had a chance to see yet.

"Sensei! You are looking most Youthful today!"

"Good morning, Gai." Natsumi smiled up at her enthusiastic chūnin taijutsu user. "Was that just so I don't observe how much I want to cut all three of you off at the knees?"

He took a quick step backwards so she wasn't standing in his shadow anymore. "Of course not, sensei. I am _appalled_ you would think such thoughts about me."

"I don't care if she thinks that about me. You're looking very tall today, sensei."

Given Ibiki stated it all in a deadpan, Natsumi didn't believe that for a moment.

He was also a whole foot taller than her and putting her in his shadow was damn easy for him.

She smiled pleasantly up at him. "You're losing your kneecaps first, Ibiki."

Koichi was snickering too hard to comment, exchanging a slapping arm-wrist clasp with Gai. He hid the wince from that pretty well, too.

The chūnin interrogator ignored her and her threat, punching his ANBU teammate on the shoulder. "About time you crawled out of sensei's shadows, _asshole_. Next time give us warning you're going to fall out of the village."

"Sorry. I got a bit… caught up." Koichi gave the older kunoichi a quick look, frowning slightly. "Crap."

"What?"

"Taicho's going to hold this over my head for years."

"Damn straight I will. Good morning, Nawaki-kun."

The Senju heir waved with a little bemusement, having been watching the original members of Cell Nine greet each other a little further away. "Hello, Natsu-nee-chan. So… 'taicho'?"

Koichi stared, and if his situational awareness really sucked that much Natsumi would give him hell for it. "You call an ANBU captain that in ANBU, obviously."

Her rookie gave her an alarmed look.

So he _knew_ Nawaki had an issue with ANBU. Interesting.

Ibiki picked up on something going on, turning to the chūnin diplomat to see if he could spot what. With both Koichi and an interrogator intently staring at Nawaki, Gai picked up on it too even if he didn't know what was going on.

The Senju scratched at the neatly trimmed beard he had growing as he withstood the looks. "Err… right. So…"

"I'm rather impressed Ibiki hasn't eaten you alive yet."

"Keeping him from having a reason too has been a little tricky." Nawaki confessed easily with a shrug. "Other than that, thanks for this."

"You need more mission experience anyways. I did ask Hizashi before formally requesting you."

"I know, I asked him."

Natsumi snorted, amused. "Right then, this is where I leave you."

Ibiki looked at her, then at Koichi. He shrugged then looked to Gai.

Gai beamed.

The kunoichi realized they were up something to a moment too late.

She yelped when Ibiki hauled her up into his arms with a very sadistic looking grin. "Don't worry so, sensei, we'll take care of each other."

He bodily tossed her to Gai's waiting hands. "Yosh! Sensei, if we are not whole and healthy when we return I vow to uproot and replant our training grounds with my teeth!"

Somehow the taijutsu user managed to keep her off balance enough to pass her to Koichi. "You know you love us, taicho. I told Mouse to remind you to eat, by the way."

"That's _it!_ Run now you little demons, or the _knees_ come _off!_ " Natsumi snagged her katana even with her rookie trying to keep her hands away from it, but the four of them were already running for their lives by the time she got her sense of direction back.

Gai could spin a whole lot with some of those taijutsu styles he had been learning, how he could still run in a straight line was puzzling to her.

She snorted, sliding down a tree trunk to sit on the ground with her sheathed sword resting on a shoulder as they disappeared from her sight.

Natsumi was going to miss her brats… but Ibiki was still losing his kneecaps the moment she saw him again.

They were only going south, and Kiri or Kumo border guard deployments only had a three month rotational expectancy to it compared to the six month Iwa deployment for chūnin. They might only get another three months off again afterward before being expected back now, but it was better than the alternative.

She'd get her licks in when they returned.

\V/

"So… not an eating disorder?"

"I told you it wasn't really an eating disorder yet." Natsumi placed her husband's dinner before him. "I now officially have a sensory processing disorder, yes. Not an eating one, not _yet_ anyways."

"And bad habits."

"And bad habits," she parroted with an eye roll, "but that's at least fixable."

The hunger thing? Not so much. That was screwed over, snapped in half, burnt to cinders, and finally buried in the backyard; there wasn't any way to get that back.

Beating the fact that she _had_ almost starved to death as a genin and what he did in response was acceptable into her sensei's thick head? That had been nearly as difficult.

Jiraiya had been rather appalled that he and Sakumo had broken that fixing her weight issue.

The only saving grace of that little problem was that Tsunade had to explain in intricate detail of what exactly would have happened had her teammate and his best friend not done what they did, turning the Toad Sage rather green. Then she explained why this was better than a starved to death assassin, in each and every way to her occasionally dense teammate.

The two surviving sannin were spending a whole lot of time together now. More than they had ever since Orochimaru's betrayal.

She and Inoichi had just left the two of them at it, neither really wanted to know exactly what was going on there.

Natsumi was hopeful, though. Tsunade hadn't gotten any closer to Kato Dan in the last few years, those two still got on as well as oil and water did. That kunoichi did deserve some happiness in her life after basically hauling the Konoha Hospital out of the dark ages singlehandedly, and the assassin would be thrilled if it was with the sannin that helped Minato and Inoichi save her cracked mind.

Iryou-nin only became a popular ninja specialty after the Slug Princess had blazed a trail, kicking in the teeth of everyone that said she couldn't do it then writing half the medical regulations and inventing the rest herself.

"What else did the medics say about you?"

"I have a vitamin D deficiency, but that was almost a given."

She spent more than ninety percent of her time in long sleeves or underground, and the milk wasn't pasteurized here. Natsumi would probably just take a few more naps in the sun with her husband and eat a little more tofu to correct that.

Milk was still something she avoided consuming unless she was cooking with it. To her, it still seemed too thick to drink and sometimes the yogurt and cheese tasted odd.

"You are a little pale for a Nara."

"Thanks for that, hubby mine. I feel so accepted."

Shikaku snorted at her. "And?"

"A little anemic, but I had gotten injured enough to lose a lot of blood before seeing them for additional blood work." The tofu she planned on adding to her diet would also fix that, if it really was a problem and not mission related.

"Why didn't you postpone?"

"Tsunade-sama did it, she said she'd adjust for it."

"Alright, wife mine. So what does that mean in terms we lesser mortals who don't hang out with medics for our very survival can understand?"

Natsumi rolled her eyes at him again. "A few naps outside in the afternoon and then even more food, depressingly enough. Dairy, tofu, fish, nuts, and some more red meats. I'm good for kunoichi work, but if I want a baby and want to have us both be healthy I need about thirty to forty more pounds at least."

Putting on that weight before getting pregnant was an almost impossible feat for kunoichi planning to have a child. That was the biggest issue for them if you discounted the years of birth control and mission injuries. They literally did way too much every day to even get overweight, it was almost a yearly struggle to keep enough body fat on them to be healthy. Dipping below that percentage was a common kunoichi health problem, to the point the medics sometimes prescribed _sugar pills_ just so they had the calories to build that up again.

She wasn't thin anymore, not by a long shot, but her body was mostly muscle and a small layer of fat. Slightly unhealthy, but not extremely so.

She was also a lot smaller than her husband, by more than half a foot and a few inches in width, so any child they had would probably end up bigger than she was comfortably built for. Thankfully, she had the hips for child bearing. It was probably the only positive she could see about her stocky body type right now because when she did conceive, her chest would get bigger. It was already a lethal weapon, in both a distraction and in the number of times she had ended up with a genin or chūnin's head in her cleavage.

Kakashi still went beet red when it happened, and she might just pull him into ambush-typed hugs occasionally just to see it happen, but he had nothing on Gai when it had happened to him a few years ago.

"Chouza and Momo will be ever so pleased to know they can help you out a little."

"You're sticking the Akimichis on me? My, my, hubby dear, whatever have I done to displease you so?"

"You decided to scare the ever living hell out of me about a possible eating disorder, Natsu, then thought confessing you loved me would get you out of trouble for a bit."

Natsumi huffed, realized she was playing with her food, and stuck another clump of rice into her mouth despite the phantom cramps that threatened her stomach.

"Good girl."

"I will get you back for this, Shika."

Shikaku grinned at her look. "I look forward to it, Natsu. The next time you decide to confess to something that big to me? Not in front of your brother, please."

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi repeated the conversation, nearly word for word, with Minato the next day.

Less of 'wife mine' and more 'sempai', but still.

Rin listened in on what was still wrong with Natsumi's health, and heard the fixes the assassin planned on doing. Kakashi listened in on all of it, probably to repeat the information to Eri later that very day. Obito was a bit grossed out at the baby talk, but even he asked a few questions about how she got the deficiencies she had.

"Will you stop running missions soon then, Natsumi-sama?"

"No, I'll still probably run a mission here or there. Those will have less and less chance for combat, Rin-chan, tapering off to none at all around the time I let my birth control fade away. I will probably only stop once it's confirmed that I'm pregnant."

That was part rumor control and part showing off, because she was the Nara clan head's wife and that gradual retreat would only mean one thing in Konoha. Suddenly disappearing would give rise to rumors about her demise, and this way their fellow shinobi would know without having to be told what Natsumi was planning on disappearing and doing for a year or so. When she got back to being kunoichi, hopefully no one would try to say something ill-advised about her new status as a working mother.

The male side of their profession occasionally stuck their feet in their mouths, they were _men_ and even the ninja thing didn't cure them of all that, this was a kunoichi trick to keep it from causing them to gut them for saying something stupid.

Sometimes that didn't happen, and a kunoichi went from combat duty to doing nothing at all. That was only in cases like Tsume's, when she got pregnant even with her birth control still supposedly working, or Mikoto's, who was healthy enough to let herself go off that control so they were surprised when it happened.

The Inuzuka alpha had very nearly driven herself up a wall doing that, even if the Uchiha Matron had enough planed on to distract her in case it happened. Natsumi was pretty sure she needed to find something not involving sharp objects for her own pregnancy, especially since she would be restricted from any major chakra use during the latter half of the nine months as well. That meant no fūinjutsu either, and standing for hours when pregnant just to carve something decently sized enough to distract her would make her husband less than amused with her.

Natsumi would still be shunted to the Chūnin Corps or Genin Corps for mission work closer to the time she and Shikaku started trying for a child. She was almost indignant about it, but knew herself well enough to know that doing nothing would shove her around the bend.

Hopefully, the academy would work for her instead if she couldn't adapt to it. That was almost protected enough she might not get Nara clan guards following her back and forth.

Ryoko would get to cluck over her, she would be ever so pleased. The ex-ANBU medic hadn't been happy when the news of Natsumi's disorder got around to her, and the older kunoichi still loomed over the assassin's shoulder whenever she was at the academy around lunchtime.

"Should you do that?"

The jōnin kunoichi heaved a sigh. "Exercise is _healthy_ , Kashi-chan. You know, that thing we do to keep in shape? Even civilians need exercise to be healthy. I probably even won't stop doing my conditioning in the morning and evenings unless the medics sentence me to bed rest."

The silver haired prodigy shrugged that off easily. "Bed rest?"

"If any of my previous gut injuries decide to act up, it might be needed."

Minato, who had been pretty content to allow Team Seven to question his sempai for the time being, gave her a look.

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice, I got _impaled_ a few months ago. That might come back to bite me in the ass."

"That… made no sense, Natsumi-sama." Obito hesitantly spoke up after a long moment spent staring at her. "How would someone _look_ at another in a tone of voice?"

"Ever heard of speaking volumes with a look? Minato's very good at that."

The three of them looked up to the jōnin shinobi that led them, who blinked back in bemusement.

"Well, she is right." Rin hesitantly offered after another moment.

Kakashi shrugged again.

Obito slumped. "Really? Wow, sensei, just wow."

"What?"

"It speaks!" Natsumi smirked at his deadpan stare, unfolding her legs to get up from the tree she had taken a seat under. "I might know what you're up to when you go silent, but I'm pretty sure your gakis don't."

"They'll learn." Minato claimed wryly, glancing upwards to check the time. "And since you here anyways, sempai. Lunch? I'll buy."

She blinked, then caught a rather insistent stare from Kakashi.

"Alright _fine_ … where?"

She had already eaten lunch, but she was pretty sure that wouldn't help her to escape eating again so soon. Since she couldn't tell if she was hungry, she would never know if she did need to eat or not.

"That Akimichi barbeque place."

"That's a little… _heavy_ for lunch, kouhai."

"You just said you needed a few naps in the sun, Natsumi-sama." Rin reminded her with a pleasant little grin, ignoring her pout. She was feeling pretty safe with her jōnin-sensei behind her, even if she had nearly seriously annoyed the jōnin kunoichi she was talking to once before. "This will help."

She did need the weight, too, just in case she forgot that. Natsumi rubbed the side of her nose carefully, amused.

It was a little ridiculous that even Minato's students were fussing after her, even discounting Kakashi. They probably wouldn't stop unless she terrified the hell out of them, and he wouldn't let her scare his students in the first place.

She would have to put up with it, but that didn't mean she had to do it gracefully.

"Fine, but I already ate once already. I might not be able to eat everything you try to shove on me."

"Did you include breakfast in that count, Natsu-nee?"

The assassin paused, trying to think of what she did that morning after her kendo practice. Did she eat breakfast today?

Well… _whoops_. Shikaku had a mission and left near dawn, it wasn't her fault. She hated it when he left, so she had just rolled over and gone back to sleep while trying to ignore that he wasn't there anymore.

Kakashi grabbed her wrist with a narrow eyed glare. "Right, you're eating. No excuses."

Natsumi slipped her wrist out of his hold, slapping him gently upside the head. "I swear to the kami, Kashi-chan, you're a mini taicho. You inherited his worrying in full, do you know how annoying that is? It's like I'm a genin all over again."

He fixed his hair, ignoring her and that. She found out why when Minato seized her around the shoulders with his right arm and steered her along.

"You know you're just being difficult, sempai. Shut up and say, 'yes, Kakashi-kun, thank you for keeping my husband from getting annoyed with me'."

Natsumi dutifully repeated it in a deadpan, shooting Kakashi a glare.

Ibiki had pulled the same shit, _this_ was where he learned to do that.

He sniffed at her, ambling along after them. Trusting his sensei to step up when their older sister figure was being difficult.

Minato and Kakashi might not have the same relationship in that other life, not even now with Sakumo dead, because the prodigy didn't need his sensei to pull him out of a grief stricken tailspin of self-destruction and become a father figure he could hold on to.

They did share something else besides the teacher-student bond though, her.

Which meant they also pulled the rest of Team Seven along after them.

Natsumi resigned herself to feeling stomach cramps in as little as an hour, a learned response from seeing a mostly cleared plate. It had been the only really reliable way to stop Jiraiya and Sakumo from stuffing her with another helping, and trying to lie in the face of either a sannin or jōnin ANBU captain was _hard_. Her body was trying to fool herself and it with that, because the only time she ever felt it was after clearing a plate and not when she was full. Tsunade had said so after checking a few times for her, there wasn't much that medic missed.

That psychological quirk did need to be broken, and soon, before her baby needed her to eat for them both.

\V/

Panther shuffled her paperwork around to get more desk space.

She thought it was a little exasperating that Bear-sama shoved half his usual work on her that morning, because she also had two S-ranked secrets to manage and Koharu's latest take from Danzō's paperwork to read.

One of these days, she would set fire to the lot of it and skip out on the ANBU General in revenge. See how he liked _that._

Naomi was in the academy now, Tenzou was about due to graduate, and Ito needed something else to do. The moment the oldest of the Orochimaru experimentation survivors left the academy he would be swallowed into ANBU whole, trained up along with part of the ROOT children being trained and un-broken so they could at least fake normal human emotions, and the younger would join him there a year later.

Then the next generation of ANBU agents would have a very emotionally stunted group of midgets working with them. The oldest _Ne_ agent they had salvaged, other than Stag himself, was _fourteen_.

Panther couldn't see a way around that, not within ANBU as it was.

Given Stag's complete lack of personality, which she almost mistook for a very lazy Nara's quietness, those ROOT kids might never get to the point they could be and not act human until early adulthood. The really young ones, three to four in age, had been either quietly snuck into the orphanage or allowed to be 'discovered' on mission by their clansmen.

That was allowable because they were young enough not to be suspicious or be relied on to tell others where they had lived before being 'found', and the news of their discovery would be held quiet to prevent the mother or the mother's family from trying to blackmail the clans over taking back the children. They might not ever recall being held hostage by a rogue elder of their own village, but that was the oldest Panther could get away doing it for.

The rest were stuck, until either a clan ANBU agent pretended they were theirs or they died in the shadows.

She had thought about sticking Ito with a few more kids, but the ex-Boar had requested something else if she had to give him something to do. He didn't mind being Tenzou and Naomi's father figure, because they adored him even crippled as he was. They knew it had been for them, they couldn't see Ito's missing leg without recalling the rescue by ANBU squad Tenzou lived through and told his sister about.

Natsumi was their often missing mother figure, but they adored her anyways because they liked to think she was off rescuing other children from horrifying captivity when she missed their shared birthday/anniversary of their rescue or some event.

She kind of wished she did that too, but unfortunately she couldn't pull something like that off again.

The two of them had accepted Shia as a kind of aunt that fussed over their health, but they did prefer Mouse to the Nara clan chūnin. Ito and Shia might not be romantically involved anymore, and Panther had been sad to hear it, but they were still friends at least.

She would be putting her foot down about the types of missions that group of midget ANBU agents would run, and the type of agent they would be trained up to be, even if she had to bite Bear-sama's head off herself. No assassins or saboteurs, no ninjutsu or pitched combat specialties, not until sixteen at the earliest.

There were the guard duties around Konohagakure no Sato itself they could pull until then.

ANBU needed that guard duty, it was a very obvious reminder of what they were fighting and killing all these people for. If an ANBU agent wanted too, they could isolate themselves from Konoha's daily life rather easily. All those guard duties and roving patrols were only half for the security aspect, the other half was a reminder they couldn't ignore or dismiss shoved into their faces.

The roving patrols might not be something midget ANBU could run without attracting a whole lot of attention for it, but she was pretty sure sticking them on clan heir guard duty was something she could get away with.

There was that reason she carved cribs, still. She might not recall why she started it, but she could ensure whoever was stupid enough to try would regret it in a most brutal fashion. ROOT definitely qualified as brutal.

Panther allowed her claws to click on top of her recently replaced desk. She made a mental note to reseal it, because it was where she kept the things other ANBU agents shouldn't touch. There was a file cabinet for her squads' mission files if they were needed for reference, and she made another note to request another one from Supply because there was a pile of paper on top of it that had no room to go in.

There was a reason Panther was rather infamous in ANBU, she had run more missions and had more security clearance than any other agents still in other than the ANBU General himself.

Occasionally an ANBU agent got an S-ranked secret entrusted to them, the black ops division as a whole, at the time it happened, had the Danzō situation under their belts. Panther had four, if you wanted to get technical. Orochimaru's betrayal, his experimentation survivors, Danzō's betrayal, and the youngest of _Ne's_ planned fates. That didn't account for each child individually, dealt with or not, or anything else Hiruzen didn't want her spreading around about those situations.

She had already surpassed her Wolf-taicho's ANBU mission record by five. Horse might actually still have completed missions over her head, but given another year that might not stay that way. To top it off she was still active duty in ANBU, even if she didn't run nearly as many missions anymore.

Bear had warned her there was another Wolf in training, making Panther rather depressed over that again.

That had been one of the last handful of masks she had never seen replaced, and she wished she never had witnessed that particular one being passed over.

She knew who was getting Wolf too, Genma, while Raido would get Boar's old mask.

Just in case she didn't feel gloomy enough about it, she would have to see those masks without the paints she knew so well.

Apparently, that was the silver lining on planning to retire from ANBU soon. She couldn't avoid it, Panther would probably get slapped with something to handle in HQ once she officially stopped running ANBU missions, but she wouldn't have to learn the fighting style or habits of a different Wolf or Boar.

Boar had been inactive for a while, like she had told Hizashi there were fewer bodyguards around now for whatever reason. Panther hadn't had to try seeing someone wear her old squad mate's mask yet.

Bat was apparently not popular enough for any other infiltrator or spy to pick up and Horse still wore hers for training up more medics.

Panther would… still probably be Panther for another decade or so if she survive it all. She almost pitied whoever was unlucky enough to get stuck with her mask after she was gone, that poor rookie would forever be compared to the ANBU assassin specialist captain before them.

Tapping a rhythm out with her sharp nails, the assassin glanced to her open doorway.

It was almost dinnertime, right? Being underground made it hard to tell sometimes, and her body wasn't much use to track that.

Better safe than sorry, Shikaku would be amused over her eating double meals not _missing_ one or two.

"Mouse? You want to go get us something to eat?"

Nodding, the medic rolled up the medical file she had been updating and stuck it on Panther's already cluttered desk. There was petty cash for food runs the whole squad chipped in for under the floorboard, Mouse pried the wood up and counted out enough for three.

"Two, Mouse. Stag, go do your social requirement for today and eat while you're out there."

The bodyguard, who had been content with standing against the wall and staring a hole into his captain's back, smoothly moved to do as ordered.

One of these days, Panther would get him to protest or something.

The former-ROOT agent was off to people watch, hilariously enough. She had told him to do it until he understood why civilians or ninja reacted to certain things. Eventually someone would come by and take the poor man under their wing, but Natsumi didn't have the time or space to do it in.

The most she had managed was to go with a few times at first to point things out, then she gave him a name to answer to and left him to it. Her hanging around even longer would've attracted attention, and she still hadn't told Shikaku about Stag's former line of work. Any Nara that spotted her hanging around a strange man, ninja or not, would inevitably report it to their clan head. That would be a mess of trouble, because she wasn't cleared to tell her husband about _Ne's_ fate and didn't have a good excuse he would accept to hang around a man he didn't know at all.

Ninja or not, Shikaku was a possessive husband. He hadn't even liked sharing her with Komushi, and all the Sand-nin had been there for was lessons.

Stag was a big boy, he could handle himself under the orders to not harm anyone even if he was uncomfortable and report anything he thought was suspicious.

He had told her a lot of supposedly strange things coming back those first times, still with his hands and not his own voice, but after the abusive husband she got him to promise to report that kind of thing to the Uchiha MPs instead. She still watched his hands after he came back, to see where he was in understanding normal human behavior and screen for those kinds of things.

Mouse ducked out right after him, though. Leaving Panther alone in her office.

"Come in, Fox, and shut the door."

It had taken Inoichi's spy captain girlfriend over two weeks to get up the nerve to approach her.

If it wasn't so sad, she might have teased her fellow ANBU kunoichi about it.

"So?"

"Panther-sama." Fox greeted cautiously, fidgeting in front of the assassin's desk.

Panther wanted to smash her mask into said desk until people around her stopped being stupid. "Sit down, Fox. _Breath_. I'm not mad at you."

The espionage specialist slid into the desk chair Mongoose normally occupied when they had a slow day in ANBU. "I still should have said something."

"Yes, you should have. I know you knew, Fox, why didn't you come to me after dealing with the threat with Wombat and Hawk?"

"I… don't want to give Ino up, Panther-sama."

Natsumi pried her mask off just to rub her face in exasperation. "For fuck's sake, Foxy. If Inoichi wants to introduce you to the significant others of his teammates', what do you think that means? What do you think I could do about that under Ino's nose?"

"…oh." Fox took her own mask off, blinking bemused blue eyes at the assassin. "That…?"

"You do want kids, right? You have to if you're still hanging around my old genin teammate. So you want what he does." The assassin answered her own question archly, shaking her head over the sheer silliness of the other kunoichi. "Inoichi, Chouza, and my husband have some stupid little pact about their firstborn children. If it works out, there'll be a Shika-Ino-Chou trio starting from their academy days. Chouza's waiting for Inoichi's go ahead to propose to his girlfriend, he wants us all ready for it."

Mayuko hummed, still a little shocked by something. "But… but the _rules_ …"

"Those are ancient, older than me even," Natsumi interrupted blandly, "and if I say they're old, they're _old_. I don't have a problem sharing Inoichi as long as you don't."

Those rules were about poaching from another ANBU agent's circle of support. They were mostly unspoken now, but a fight between ANBU agents wasn't a particularly pleasant thing to get caught in. ANBU agents avoided each other when out in the village unless they knew each other very well, and they also avoided another agent's important people out of a sense of self-preservation.

If you killed and murdered for the sake of those people, of course you would kill and murder to protect them too… even from each other.

Panther, mal-adjusted as she was, had a big ass circle of people that allowed her to bother them even if she never told them why she was bothering them. She had half expected to end up sharing one or two with another ANBU agent, other than Sakumo, Koichi, Tenzou, and Naomi… or possibly Kakashi later.

Genma and Raido were exempt from that rule, Hizashi had been their support before they joined.

On second thought, she knew a lot of ANBU agents' identities under their masks. She was a little surprised she didn't know who Bear-sama was yet.

Kaonde Mayuko wasn't part of that circle of friends, she had poached by ANBU terms.

Yamanaka Inoichi might not be someone Natsumi spent a whole lot of time with anymore, but the clan heads and their immediate family would be considered her territory if any ANBU agent realized who Panther was under her mask. She was known for sharing, yes, but only with her own squad after Horse got herself added in after she formally retired from active ANBU duty. Fox should have broken up with the Yamanaka clan head the moment she realized it, but her not doing it and then braving the assassin whose territory she was trespassing in told Natsumi a whole lot about the spy's intent with her old genin teammate.

Especially when Panther was a little terrifying to ANBU itself.

Besides, Mayuko was a spy. An ANBU captain espionage specialist, who would be working in Intelligence the moment she stopped working ANBU missions probably to ensure ANBU's Intel take matched up to the village's official one and fix any problems she found there.

She was also a very pretty blond with blue eyes.

If Natsumi tilted her head and squinted, she wondered if Mayuko would look a little like Minato would as a kunoichi…

No wait, she didn't want to know.

This kunoichi was Inoichi's type though, given the long ass line of blonde girlfriends the interrogator had gone though. Pretty, competent kunoichi with issues.

He really had to stop bringing his work home with him. Natsumi wasn't surprised he got attached with Mayuko, Fox-taicho of ANBU espionage squad Twenty-One.

ANBU went hand in hand with issues. They did not tend to be well-adjusted ninja, and the few like that tended to pick up a few problems of their own given enough time.

"Foxy, this is what you're going to do. You are going to go home and apologize to Inoichi for making him worry, you can tell him what you want and point to me if anyone asks why you did that. Then you'll meet up with me and Momo in the village and reassure the civilian that it wasn't her you were avoiding. You can blame me for all of it if you want." Natsumi wouldn't let their ANBU lifestyle interfere with Shikaku's grand plan, it was her husband's and she loved him enough to tweak the situation in his favor even if he would never know it. "I don't have a problem with you dating Inoichi, so there really isn't any reason to drag this on."

"I can tell Ino anything?" Mayuko looked like someone had brained her between the eyes with her greatest wish. For that to happen the poor woman had to be rattled long before approaching the assassin's office door.

"Anything. Even the truth." Natsumi confirmed mildly, expertly hiding her twinge of unease with that plan. "Again, I'll back you up if you need me too."

Inoichi was an interrogator and one hell of a psychologist, though. He'd know a whole lot more than she had ever planned on allowing him to know about her ANBU work from this. He was also a clan head and a damn fine shinobi in his own right, living with even a former ANBU captain would tell him a lot about the black ops and what they were like under their masks.

He would probably not be please with some of the things Mayuko could tell him about Panther-sama, but maybe being the reason why she was allowed would get the assassin off the hook.

She wasn't sure of that, hence the unease.

Inoichi wasn't just her husband's best friend, he was her old genin teammate who helped Minato and Jiraiya in saving Natsumi from the horrors in her own mind.

…however, a chance to tease him about being considered territory to her would be _fantastic_. Especially with the poaching thing threw in.

"Of course, Panther-sama." Mayuko nodded a little shakily, setting her Fox mask back on her face and wandering out of Panther's office in a daze.

Natsumi did the same, with her mask at least, turning back to read Koharu's report on her progress in going through Danzō's office and wondered if she did have a problem with Fox dating Inoichi.

She couldn't tell, really. It would have to be something she figured out when Mayuko formally met Natsumi for the first time.

It didn't matter that she had taken off her mask, Panther was still an assassin that would viciously guard her friends with all the ill-humor of her mask's breed of big cat. While in ANBU HQ, Panther was the one dealing with the things Fiona would've cringed at and flatly refused being the one to handle it.

Natsumi still did things the soldier she had been reincarnated from wouldn't like, but that wasn't nearly as bad. She also managed to do the good things, the parts of her life Natsumi loved about being kunoichi.

That made it somewhat hard to understand what she felt about a situation from the ANBU side of her life, after so many years swallowing her misgivings and doing what she was asked to do anyways.

A jōnin kunoichi had more freedom to express herself than an ANBU captain did.

Natsumi expressed herself a whole lot to make up for Panther's restraint.

\V/

She swore they were doing this just to piss her off.

Wasn't it bad enough they sent the branch head to talk with her and her own damn husband? As if that wasn't a clear indication that they only wanted her to breed from and no other reason.

Natsumi glared at the young woman, not caring that the poor girl flinched at the older kunoichi's ire being directed at her. "You are possibly the most _stupid_ person I've had to put up with yet. Why the _fuck_ would you suddenly grab a jōnin walking down the street?"

Kurama Uroko cringed and hesitantly rubbed her left arm. "I'm sorry?"

"Screw off, you _and_ your damn clan. Stop bothering me."

"Wait! Cousin-"

" _Don't_ call me _that_." The assassin snapped in her face, not caring that they were attracting even more attention. She didn't really care about the Kurama clan's reputation, the Naras would straighten out whoever they heard talking about this. "Your clan threw me out, I'm _not_ your cousin. Be thankful I didn't run you through when you touched me and _go away_."

The chūnin Kurama clan member looked close to tears. "I'm sorry, Natsumi-sama. I am, but I need some help and you're the only one I think can."

"You have a clan, get _them_ to help."

"Please, just hear me out."

Natsumi snarled in her face, not caring that it was an inhuman sound that shouldn't come from her vocal cords. "Kurama-san, you are _fast_ at pissing me off. I have told you to leave, _do so_."

Uroko stubbornly stayed in place. " _Please_ , just for a few minutes. I'll leave after that, I swear on my hitai-ate."

The Leopard Summoner allowed her snarl to trail off to a displeased grumble, narrowly eyeing the younger kunoichi.

It was probably a hook, an attempt to lure her away from her normal habits and patterns of movement to try coercing or forcing something or a concession out of her. Natsumi wasn't best pleased with this particular Konohagakure clan, not at all, and not tempted at all to go along with the other kunoichi for anything.

They were taught to be sly when their strength failed, to trick and slide what they wanted from even shinobi who could probably break them in half.

Besides, the girl was a chūnin Kurama clan member. Illusions and deceit would practically be what she grew up on.

"You have five minutes, in a place of my choosing. Take it or leave it."

Ninja curiosity was a damning thing sometimes.

"I'll take it. Where?"

The only place Natsumi trusted to be considered impartial in case of any accusations leveled at her for corrupting clan members. "The Uchiha clan's Matron's home."

"A-alright." Uroko swallowed uneasily.

Apparently grabbing the Nara's Lady out of nowhere and risking jōnin retribution was less intimidating that talking to the Uchiha's own Lady.

The assassin gave the Uchiha MP listening in to the conversation between a Nara and a Kurama a look, and he nodded back to her firmly.

Mikoto would be expecting them, and would raise an alarm if Natsumi never got there.

(ooo000ooo)

"I-I am engaged to the clan head. He's my second cousin." Uroko informed her biological cousin softly.

The older kunoichi didn't blink.

Mikoto looked as impassive as her husband on a bad day as she sipped some tea.

"We know the Kurama clan is breeding itself out," Natsumi pointed out blandly after a long moment, "your point?"

"I would like my children to be _healthy_ , Natsumi-sama. Like you, the _bastard_ of the clan who's probably more powerful than half our own jōnin." The younger kunoichi told her elders bitterly. "I want my child to live to see his or her own grow up, to actually be able to live and work as a shinobi if they wished. The clan wishes for another kekkai genkai holder, but the way we've gone about it…"

"I'm not exactly healthy."

"But it was all not your fault, not something you were born with." Uroko pointed out quickly. "I've heard about your disorder, cousin, it's the worst thing you have and that was caused attempting to fix your weight issue when you were a genin."

"Stop calling me _that_." Natsumi bit back sharply, but she still thought about the younger Kurama's problem.

The bad thing about being intuitive and having the psychology skills she did?

Natsumi couldn't stop thinking. She could not think about something, but that was still thinking about it even as her conscious mind avoided listening to her automatic perusal of what it was for more puzzle pieces.

Puzzles were addicting to her, people puzzles or situational ones. She thought them all to death, then went over the remains with a fine comb. No matter how much it hurt her to do so.

"I don't trust you," the assassin told the Kurama after a long, silent moment, "I don't, and probably never will. I'm not sorry, because I had to be this way or I would've gotten killed long ago. But, if you really can't go through with marrying this second cousin, you can go to the Nara clan for amnesty. You'll probably be thrown out of the Kurama clan and I couldn't care less about that, but I won't throw you out too if you have nowhere else to go."

The younger kunoichi didn't look pleased, but she also didn't protest. It was an olive branch, however bare, and an option she could use if things got really bad.

It was also an in, and Natsumi hated herself slightly for even offering. It was a stupid thing to do, even for the slim, buried hope of more family actually related to her.

She had thought she killed that back when Mana's letter finally reached her.

She would admit it, she still wanted something like what Iris and Fiona had shared before Eric's death. Like how Fiona had begged, pleaded, and worked with her shattered mother for until they could spend time together again without Iris flinching from her.

She thought she would have to wait for her own children, at first. Shikaku's whole clan was awesome, they were for accepting her as one of their own, but… it wasn't quite the same.

Natsumi was selfish enough to want something like that back, no matter how much Minato and the Hatakes meant to her in slightly different ways.

She and this Kurama might be related, but they were also kunoichi. This late in the assassin's life, she couldn't get rid of any automatic mistrust she held to any and everything that seemed too good to be true.

Uroko bowed to the two clan ladies, backing out of Mikoto's tearoom.

Natsumi suspiciously tracked her out of the house, ensuring the chūnin went nowhere near Itachi and Shisui playing shunshin tag in the backyard. When even the Uchiha clan's Matron nodded to signal the younger kunoichi had left her home's grounds the assassin finally sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry about this, Mikoto. I… I didn't exactly trust myself not to try killing her."

"I could tell from how tense you were." The Uchiha genjutsu mistress observed calmly. "More tea?"

"Please." Hers had gone cold, caused by her not wanting to consume anything with an illusion specialist facing off with her.

It was another reason Natsumi had picked the Uchiha clan head's wife's home. Mikoto was a jōnin genjutsu mistress with a fully developed sharingan, nothing a chūnin could try would get past her.

Her own skills with genjutsu might be more miss than hit without her Yin Releases, but that was what she had friends for. It was also why she killed the genjutsu users first, even if her Kiri teammates got a luck hit on her leg.

"Are you alright, Natsumi? With all of this." Mikoto gestured to the tearoom's door, to include the whole Kurama clan in her question.

"No, not even remotely." Natsumi could be honest, with Fugaku gone to Earth the Kuramas' attempts to get support for prying her out of the Nara clan might involve Mikoto too. "It _sucks_ , majorly. They sent the branch head to talk to me, probably the moment they knew I could use some of their clan's jutsus."

The other clan head wife she was having tea with scowled fiercely, insulted on her behalf.

No offence meant to Hizashi, but branch heads weren't the ones you sent to fully grown adults to try and convince them to join another clan. They were the ones the clan head sent to recollect delinquent members and punish them for being errant enough to need collecting. They pulled that in front of Shikaku, too, her own damn husband who married her even knowing she had no clan abilities or skills to give him and their children in return.

Natsumi had to learn skills to pass on to them herself; her Summons Contract, fūinjutsu, and the wood carving Fiona had learned from her own father. She would need Kakashi's permission to teach her child kenjutsu, because it was a Hatake clan skill, but she didn't see her little silver haired brother denying her that if she ever asked.

To make it worse, Shikaku was the head of his own clan. The Naras might not have a branch head but he still knew perfectly well what they had been up to, and that kind of slight against his wife probably wasn't something he would ever forgive.

She cradled the Uchiha pottery in her scarred up hands, scowling herself at the jagged lines there.

The problem between Natsumi's mother and the Kurama clan had actually boiled down to one thing. _Pride_.

The genjutsu using shinobi clan had a bad seed, her father, who got his ass thrown of the clan out for improper behavior and almost getting drummed out of the shinobi corps for being a coward. He somehow managed to get into Mana's bed, leaving her pregnant and running a long term mission the moment he could… only to get killed out there because it was around the time the Second War had gotten nasty.

Natsumi could forgive the ninja thing, some people were just not cut out for it and shinobi clans did pressure their members to become one anyways. It was the leaving her knocked up mother the moment he knew he would be a father that bit into her.

Mana had informed the then head of the Kurama clan she was pregnant with a clan child. That was the proper method of things even if the father was a disgraced clan member, to allow them the option of taking the child in or to watch her for a few years to see if they wanted the child or not.

Obviously, whatever the man had said to Natsumi's mother had pissed that kunoichi off.

That slight to the only biological parent the assassin respected in this life made her rather content to allow herself to be used for Mana's revenge. No matter what happened, Natsumi would not be the one to ruin her mother's work.

Another reason to damn Sakumo for dying on her, he had promised to help her with this when it happened.

"Natsumi?"

"I _miss_ my friends, Mikoto. Is there no way to stop this fight between you and Kushina?"

The Uchiha kept her frown, but it lessened a bit. Natsumi was still a depressed kunoichi and a friend, she had a kind of immunity from most things that would have earned her a tongue lashing had she tried at any other time. "I will _not_ apologize. Fugaku is my husband, what she said was…"

"True. Mikoto, I help the Yamanaka clan out occasionally. What Kushina-hime was worried about was _true_ , and you know it. Yes, she probably didn't have the right to say anything, she's not an Uchiha. But you made her godmother anyway, you know you invited her to say something if she ever got concerned over Itachi-chan."

The genjutsu mistress pressed her lips in a thin line. "Natsumi…"

"Just… hear me out, okay? If you never want me to talk to you again I'll accept that." She waited for a nod, no matter how slight. "You both were right, okay? Fugaku was alienating his usual support, because how Itachi-chan gained his sharingan was a little alarming. He almost sounded like he would have thrown the poor toddler into that if he thought of it, and my clan wasn't the only one to get a little disturbed over that. You are right in that it is impressive, a landmark achievement for both Itachi-chan's future genjutsu skills and developing his kekkai genkai. Your gaki _is_ a genius, no matter how you look at it."

Flattery got one anywhere, even with shinobi.

Mikoto sighed softly. "You're not the only one who misses their friends. But… I can't apologize. Not for Fugaku's pride in our son or for my own."

Pride wouldn't be only the Kurama clan's fall, it was a major stumbling block for noble shinobi clans. Natsumi was just impressed Obito ended up with as little arrogant Uchiha pride as he seemed to have.

"That's fine, agree to disagree on that. Kami- _sama_ , Mikoto, we've disagreed about your husband for years, but we _always_ agree he's a damn good shinobi and a father."

"True." The Uchiha Matron allowed with a small smile, probably recalling all the times both Natsumi and Kushina teased her over her husband's arrogance or stiff seeming nature to those that didn't know him well.

"Will you two at least talk instead of snipe nasty things to each other, even if you never become friends again? You know Itachi-chan's a genius, he might have caught on and think you two hate each other because of something he did."

She looked a bit alarmed at that idea, flicking her eyes to where Itachi was even if she couldn't see through walls. "Does he?"

"I don't know. Natsu-oba-san isn't nearly as easy to talk to as Shina-ba-tan." Mikoto's lips twitched to hear Itachi's lisped title for his godmother again, two years after he had stopped calling the redhead that. "You'll have to get her to get him to talk about it."

"I… I will think about it, Natsumi."

"Alright, that's the best I can ask. Just know I found the hime a living Uzumaki clansman, now is probably the best time to approach her without getting immediately bitched out for it."

The genjutsu mistress gave her a look, and Natsumi had to grin back however weakly.

They were ninja, that kind of opening to take advantage of was _tempting_ to them.

"If you are done trying to fix all the problems you can find?"

The assassin blinked at her innocently. "Actually I was on my way here for a reason, not because of the tagalong."

The Uchiha Matron sighed. "What now?"

"You are formally warned, you need to take on a genin team or be assigned one in a year's time." Natsumi grimaced, thinking of what current academy graduates she had and who would most likely be graduating next year. "I _am_ sorry about this, Mikoto. I've tried to buy you as much time as I could, because the kami know you're a busy woman. Itachi-chan's old enough to be somewhat solid in his beliefs already and the graduating class won't be available for another few months, which I might be able to fudge around until Fugaku's home again. He's only in Earth, that's more guard duty than battle right now. But you're not a clan head, or the head of a department, and you need to take one on."

Now would be more preferable, because there was that second son of the Uchiha's clan head that still needed to be born. Mikoto would have almost a year to train up a team of genin to the point they had solid bases to work from when she got pregnant again.

Mikoto, oddly enough, brightened at the news. "I get a genin team?"

"Yeah? We all have to, at least once. I've told you this, right?"

"I thought you would exclude me from that."

Natsumi blinked at the other kunoichi out of bemusement. "Why? I was putting it off, true, but that was only because you did me that favor in the kinjutsu mockup thing we're still using and Itachi-chan needed you more at the time. I know the Uchiha clan is rather difficult to run smoothly, even without the Police to look over too, I didn't want to stress you out trying to handle a team of genin gakis on top of all of it."

"I'm sorry, that was a little foolish of me to think." Mikoto kept on smiling though, making the assassin rather confused. "I suppose… you'll see me tomorrow. That's how it works, right? We come by and assemble a team ourselves?"

"Mostly, yes. You tag the ones you wouldn't mind teaching and I'll form up teams to handle certain types of mission work from that and your own skills. You might not get all the students you pick, jōnin usually pick five to six of them at once because of the team formations in the last year, but generally you'll go away with most of what you want if I can do it." She scratched the back of her head, carefully preventing herself from pulling her hightail down. "There's also the meetings you have to go to, the jōnin-sensei introductory classes. Basically what you can and can't do with them, what you need to plan on for D-ranks, and so on and so forth."

Natsumi hadn't done the classes, but she had been the one teaching them a few times even after getting her own team. Hizashi had looked so bored though those and Minato had been exasperated over what she had to tell the jōnin about teaching genin every damn year. She would lay money on Mikoto being slightly horrified that she had to tell their fellow jōnin that removing limbs was not allowed even if you got them to the hospital in time to have said limb reattached.

The sole reason she was tolerated at first in the academy by the chūnin instructors? She was the one that told the jōnin that they were stupid when they planned on being vicious to their soon to be brats to make a point.

"Alright, I will see you tomorrow then. If I can, anyways." Mikoto blinked, looking to the pile of work she had brought into the tearoom with her. One stack out of six that still needed her attention. "It might take me a few months, actually."

Natsumi nodded, unsurprised, setting the empty teacup down and getting up to leave.

Danzō apparently wasn't the one spreading misinformation to the Uchihas. He might have helped, but something else was still doing it.

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku was not pleased with her.

He was content to know she had eaten each meal when he was gone, even if Team Seven had to nudge her the one time she forgot, but the Kurama thing alone…

"I'm not surprised, wife mine. Not happy, but not surprised either. Next time they try to talk to you, hand it off to someone else."

Natsumi grimaced, she had _known_ it was stupid and did it anyways. "I know. Sorry Shika. I at least ensured they couldn't accuse me of anything."

"Except the corrupting their young clan members." He dryly pointed out to her, glancing at his desk to ensure there wasn't anything major that needed his attention. "Which Mikoto could counter, yeah, but if this girl does use your out they can still try to get you in trouble."

"There was an Uchiha MP that overheard her asking for my help, which would cast doubt on anything they tried," she reminded him, staring at the floorboards, "but they all can't be bad. It's statistically impossible to have an entire clan be a bunch of complete assholes."

"You're making excuses, Natsu. At least tell me you don't plan on having this chūnin live with us."

"Of course not, hubby mine. I was thinking the apartment complex if it ever happened."

Natsumi might be willing to bend slightly for a cousin, but she wasn't stupid enough to allow someone she didn't know that close to her. Not when planning on becoming pregnant.

Shikaku cupped her cheek, lifting her face up with his thumb. "I find that it's terribly ironic Minato got a guilty conscience and you got the bleeding heart, Natsu. I would have bet our clan's whole sets of shogi boards on it being the other way around."

Minato only had heart enough for two women so far, herself and the hime. Watching kunoichi that tried to tempt him away from them was an awkward thing, you just ended up pitying them when they tried. He could get more women, true, but they wouldn't mean nearly as much to him as the sempai or girlfriend he already had… and he wasn't the type of man who would try to do that in the first place.

Rin might join them, probably in a few years, but until then the only two the fūinjutsu master would go out of his way for was Kushina or Natsumi.

Natsumi could be suckered into helping little children and hurt animals on a whim, or anyone else she considered younger than her. Bright blonds with sheepish grins who asked for her help in taijutsu or stoned looking Sand-nin with devastating puppy eyes and his startled kitten looking best friend.

With her doubled age, almost everyone was younger than her.

"Hey, I carved a good number of those."

"Which is why I'm willing to bet them. You would just carve more if anyone asked you nicely."

He snickered when she lightly punched him in the gut for that.

\V/

Momo was practically considered Chouza's wife already, ring or no, by the shinobi she dealt with.

She had been his lady love for five years, had moved in with him two years after they started dating, and had already gotten used to being called 'Momo-sama' by every Akimichi, Yamanaka, or Nara she saw.

The civilian had also made use of Natsumi's skill in explaining ninja life to civilians, so she was used to going to her boyfriend's team leader's wife when she had questions or concerns.

However, she was still a civilian. Ninjas might not blink at long term living situations before marriage, but civilians did see something wrong with living with a lover in sin for a few years.

Shinobi had to be sure, their home was one of a few bastions of safety they could retreat to if things got difficult. That made them needy, picky _bastards_ when it came to their significant others. If they were putting in the effort to make such a person into a refuge, it had to fit in every way before they made it permanent.

Clan ninja had it easier, they had an entire clan if their partner wasn't quite what they thought they were. Non-clan shinobi didn't often get married even if children were involved, they merely arranged other childcare options and made due… even if it tended to kill them in the end.

A clan head, on the other hand? Their significant others tended to help them run a ninja clan, if that significant other didn't come from the clan itself they had to be even picker.

Sakumo had lucked out with Eri, even the man himself acknowledged that and ensured his wife knew he thought it too before his death.

Minato was still dragging his feet about it, but that view on marriage was not his fault so Kushina had forgiven him for it.

Natsumi didn't really have an option after saying yes to Shikaku, but the Nara had ensured they both were compatible before that and they both worked on it to the point they were sure they loved each other now.

Tsume would never probably get married, no matter what happened.

Momo had a father, who was a little uncomfortable with his much loved daughter living with a shinobi lover without even an eventual promise to get married. She also had a mother, who was slightly appalled at her daughter's bold living arrangement.

The woman herself had a few fears and misgivings, but normally ignored that because she was certain of Chouza's love for her and had Natsumi's assurances for why it was taking so long.

That didn't mean the civilian had no moments of panic or indecision about her involvement with a ninja.

Natsumi gave Mayuko an exasperated look over the soon to be Akimichi's head. Her fellow ANBU captain, just weeks from retirement, blinked back blandly.

They were waiting on their men to return from whatever Chouza wanted to talk to them about, in a private teahouse room reserved by the Akimichi clan head for just this occasion.

"And my kaa-san, _Natsumi!_ You should've heard her, saying Chou was only stringing me along."

"Momo-chan…"

"I don't think my ba-san likes him much either, and she used to be so sweet to me…"

"Momo."

"What am I going to _do_ , Natsumi? I want them to love him like I do."

"Try turning around."

"What? Why?" Momo tried just that, and spotted a very sheepish looking Akimichi clan head holding a ring box.

The same ring box he had been carrying around everywhere for the last three years.

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi didn't have a problem with sharing Inoichi with Mayuko, apparently.

This was more like the feeling she got when she called in another ANBU team to help her and they showed up. Like someone now had her back in ensuring her friends didn't trip into something she was supposed to be watching for.

It was a bit strange she never felt the cause of that before.

Admittedly, Natsumi didn't go bother the Yamanaka clan head much anymore. There might be a few jarring moments when she went to get a second opinion on something affecting her, but the assassin was sure the spy would never grate against her view of how this should work out.

Oddly enough, she wondered how this would have worked out with a Chūnin Corps kunoichi and not an ANBU captain as Shikaku's wife.

A jōnin-track ANBU captain officially ranked as a chūnin who probably would finally get a jōnin promotion in a few years, a lifelong Chūnin Corps member, and a civilian? Mayuko probably had been the lead woman in that group, or possibly allowed Yoshino the lead at first while ensuring it didn't unduly bother their husbands. Maybe this was better on her fellow ANBU captain? Panther was senior, Fox would follow just because that was how it always went before this.

Yoshino was someone Natsumi avoided, well before other ninja started avoiding her. That would only be awkward for her, meeting or befriending her husband's wife in another life. She knew what the chūnin was up to, and she seemed rather happy with her fellow Chūnin Corps boyfriend, but it was still awkward for Natsumi.

Momo pulled herself together again, having burst into tears the moment Chouza finally proposed to her. "We need to plan a wedding then, now. _Finally_."

"Whatever you want, Momo-chan." Natsumi informed her, highly amused. "I _told_ you…"

"I know, I'm being silly." The civilian wiped her face off, a brilliant grin on her lips. "What about you, Mayuko-san? Are we going to plan yours anytime soon?"

"Maybe in a few years. Let me see that rock on your finger, though."

Fox was ANBU, if this meant so much to Momo she would put off her own wedding so she didn't threaten the civilian's happiness. It was almost learned behavior now, to subsume her own wishes for another's and especially for the civilians they protected.

Mayuko had the time, her combat career was over and done with. She would probably never leave the village again.

Natsumi did it too, if Mikoto had ever informed her she wanted a genin team the assassin would've arranged it right that moment. Shikaku's grand master plan was just one more thing Panther would try everything to ensure would work.

The Nara's Lady understood why, but wouldn't let the Yamanaka's soon to be leading Lady do it. She gave her fellow, if soon to be former, captain a _look_.

Mayuko sheepishly grinned in return, patting Momo's ringed hand. "Actually, if you don't mind… maybe a double wedding?"

The civilian practically shivered in happiness. "Really? I always wanted to try arranging one, but Natsumi was married long before she met me. Are you sure you don't mind me doing that for you?"

Behind Momo, Shikaku shoved an elbow into Inoichi's ribs while snickering silently. Chouza just beamed at the trio of women, holding the tea tray the men had volunteered to fetch for them.

The Yamanaka clan head had a very strange expression on his face, nothing which looked like unease or uncertainty. More like shocked stupefied and a little in awe.

Well… he was the one who thought trying to rehabilitate an ANBU captain into showing her wants or desires would be easy after Natsumi's early ANBU career.

Panther had done it in a look, too. He had taken a _year_ to get the spy to agree to meet with another ANBU captain and a civilian.

Mayuko might only now have a safety net in Panther's permission to tell her fiancé about ANBU life and why she did this or that, but that didn't mean the spy was sure about doing it at all.

Natsumi didn't mind doing it for them, because Inoichi had to be sure enough of the kunoichi to ask her to this in the first place. His clan abilities and psychology skills would have told him if Mayuko was or wasn't someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Panther would trust Fox with her old genin teammate because it took some guts and being certain of a particular feeling to go up to an assassination ANBU captain and practically _dare_ Panther to kill her for dating Inoichi in the first place.

Idiots, the _both_ of them.

\V/

Natsumi did _not_ have the time for this crap. She had enough on her plate already, after getting a chūnin promotion her brats were supposed to be less work.

"You know, when I told you nuke-nin might have a reason you would respect… I didn't think you'd bring one back home with you."

"Think of it more like we brought you back a souvenir, sensei."

"Take it back, Ibiki."

"But taicho, he followed us home! Can't we keep him?"

"Is he housebroken? Then no, Koichi, you're not keeping him."

Hoshigaki Kisame blinked blankly at her and Stag, who was looming over her shoulder like a proper bodyguard.

Other than the Kiri-nin thing, she felt for him. She was pretty damn confused and disturbed over this too.

Natsumi pointed a slightly clawed finger in Nawaki's face. "My students didn't pull this kind of shit until _you_ joined the team. I blame you."

The Senju diplomat sheepishly smiled and then blinked innocently up at her. "He defected. I swear it."

"I don't care!"

"Sensei does not particularly like Mist shinobi, Nawaki." Gai told him in what probably should have been a whisper, but ended up being what most would think was a conversational tone. "They scarred up Shikaku-sama's face, and ever since then she has not liked the Land of Water or their ninja."

"That also means if she vouchsafes him, very few would try to argue." Ibiki tacked on, looking smug over the whole thing. "Most of Konoha knows she hates them."

"Slight problem with that, guys." Koichi interrupted, awkwardly cringing away from his ANBU captain. "She doesn't really look at all that amused enough to listen."

All four chūnin, a former ROOT agent, and one former Kirigakure jōnin looked at her.

Natsumi growled at all of them, showing the large canines her Summons Contract left her with. They were almost small fangs, really. "Explain, _now._ "

She would dearly love to know. There was no way in hell something she did affected Kiri, they were like their own little empire of madness out in the southwestern sea. Kisame was not taken in by Konohagakure shinobi in that story, she was pretty damn sure of that. He had been missing-nin after leaving Mist.

Why the _hell_ was there a gangly looking, blue skinned Swordsman of the Mist sitting blandly in a _Leaf_ holding cell?

Who also held Samehada, just in case no one spotted that yet.

Why did he still have the almost sentient sword? She knew why no one took it from him, but surely it could be sealed away for a few days or so.

Kisame showed her his shark teeth in a grin, seeing where her eyes were.

Natsumi placed her hand on the table in the holding cell, allowing her claws to gouge the surface in long, deep slashes. "Don't even try, fish boy. Or my Leopards will eat you. I'm pretty sure they'll get a kick out of a human that tastes of fish."

On average, she went through about three industrial nail files every week she didn't have ANBU missions in.

The table was metal.

Hurt like a bitch, but worth the intimidation factor.

Flat black eyes flicked to the gouges to her own mismatched pair.

"Sensei?"

"Ibiki, I'm fast losing my tolerance for this. Explain now, or I _kill him_."

Kisame tightened his hold on Samehada, even as the interrogator spilled the story.

Natsumi was pretty sure she didn't know the former Mist shinobi's story. If she ever had, she had long forgotten it.

What it boiled down to was Kisame was tired of the falsehoods of ninja life. He didn't mind the blood, guts, and gore, it was the lies told to his face that irritated him.

She could see some of that.

Finding out the now deceased leader of the Seven Swordsmen was selling information? Well, damn. No one told her that was for sale.

Being congratulated for slaughtering an entire platoon of Cypher Corps ninja to protect a secret? Not something she would've done, but they were ninja and he a Kiri-nin in particular.

Finding out your kage was being mind-controlled with a probably stolen sharingan and it didn't matter at all in the end?

Eh… _fine_. He had a point. That was kind of fucked up.

Natsumi ended up rubbing her face in exasperation, taking a seat with them more than halfway through the story. Stag drifted to the far wall across from the former Mist Swordsman, sensing that the tense part of the confrontation was over with.

"So what happened to end up with Hoshigaki sitting here? I highly doubt he asked for this."

"I didn't, thanks." Big and blue snarled, more to himself than anyone else.

"We were picking up to leave for a few months, sensei, on one of the last perimeter checks before we handed over duties to another team of chūnin Hoshigaki-san ended up running into us." Ibiki had handled most of the talking so far, preventing Gai from shouting their ears off or Koichi to squirm under her stern looks. Nawaki was still new enough not to try leading the cell when she was around. "Unlike the last time we encountered each other, he didn't immediately move to retreat so Nawaki started talking to him."

The assassin blinked, pulling her head up to stare. "You let him _talk_ you into following them back here?"

"Do I look like someone that talks much?" Kisame grouched back, shifting uncomfortably. "That gaki can talk a mile a minute."

Natsumi eyed him critically. "You're not bad looking, why not?"

Shark boy stared at her, speechless.

"Please, you never saw Orochimaru. _That_ ninja was creepy looking, and he hissed all the damn time. A bit girly too, now that I think of it again."

"Taicho? Can we not hear how good looking you think Hoshigaki looks?" Koichi begged, looking a little green. "Or what you thought of Orochimaru?"

Natsumi rolled her eyes at him. "Fine, so he's here and we all know what's up. What does he want? To be samurai? I highly doubt he wants to be a Konoha-nin."

Kisame shut his mouth, looking rather bewildered, as the chūnin in the room all shrugged.

"No one thought of what to do with him after getting him back here?"

"We brought him to you, sensei." Gai insisted, as if that was all they had to do.

"What am I supposed to do with him? My husband doesn't like to share."

"Maybe not talk about me like I'm not here?" Kisame tried irritably.

"What do you want then?"

"I… I don't know."

The assassin rubbed her temples. Another mark for her bleeding heart, if grumbly shark boys counted as small animals. "I might… _might_ know where you can go. It depends on a few other ninja, and a few other things working out, but… if you want that life without the lies, you either need to quit being ninja or find a village that won't lie every damn time something happens."

The former Kiri jōnin scowled, tightening his hand on Samehada's hilt and ignoring Stag tensing up in response. "I'm good at what I do, I'd rather stay a shinobi."

"So… either a Hidden Village you can help establish or develop. Because that is the only way you're ever going to be content you're not being lied to."

"You're not going to try to convince me to be a Leaf-nin?"

"We lie more than any other village, Hoshigaki. If you believed any of the hype about us you're _retarded_."

He shut his mouth with a snap, looking rather shocked at her bluntness.

Natsumi didn't have a whole lot of sympathy for him right now. "Ibiki, his paperwork."

The interrogator slid the papers over to her, and the assassin signed her name on the 'responding jōnin' line.

"He'll have to stay here for a few weeks, probably. By then I'm sure I can arrange something, if it is at all possible. A month, Hoshigaki, of behaving. You fuck up, and _I'll_ be the one to kill you."

Kisame blinked at the paper she shoved at him. "Sure."

"Ibiki, this is all yours. Have fun telling Inoichi."

"Thanks, sensei."

"Also, teach him to put that oversized scale collection in a storage seal… if he doesn't already know."

Big and blue looked interested, so he probably hadn't known how to do it. Mist fūinjutsu masters were so bad they were still a joke to almost every other Hidden Village.

"Sure."

"Other assorted brats, dismissed. You've got a month of downtime, use it wisely. Koichi, you're returning after that."

Her rookie nodded as he followed Gai out of the holding cell.

"Nawaki, you're telling Hiruzen-sama about this."

The newest chūnin in Cell Nine looked rather sorry to be alive.

Natsumi didn't really care. If he was going to do things like this with her own students as backup, he could help set them right again.

Hizashi was going to catch hell for this.

She patted Stag on the shoulder on her own way pass him, to let him know she appreciated him pitching in as shark boy guard until everything was straightened out.

(ooo000ooo)

"Why?"

"Minato, think about it. The kage in Kiri is being _mind-controlled_ , Hoshigaki both saw it and got confirmation from the one doing it. What do you think would happen if Hiruzen-sama went off the deep end and tried to kill his own ninja off? No offense, sir. We adore you and prefer you sane, for reference."

The Sandaime didn't look insulted, so the assassin continued.

"Shinobi do not have the best reputations. Yeah, Konohagakure no Sato has the best one. But Kirigakure is our neighbor, the fear from the civilians there could spread throughout Fire Country. From us then to everyone else. The relations between our own ninja and the civilians can get tense and awkward sometimes. The civilians are the ones who pay for the bulk of shinobi missions. If they are too afraid of us to request them anymore, who would pay our wages? If our Daimyo thinks our village is a threat to him and his people, what do you think might happen?"

"I highly doubt the Daimyo would request us to kill each other off, sempai."

"No, but he might ask another village to do it for him. There is nothing that keeps our country's rightful rulers from asking missions of other countries' Hidden Villages, and with what we let him know of us that could hurt us in the long run if he ever forked that over."

Minato thought about that.

Koharu spoke up from behind Hiruzen's desk chair. "You almost sound as if you disprove, Natsumi-san."

"On the contrary, I approve of that kind of oversight. It's what _should have happened_ to Kiri, Koharu-sama. The fact it didn't is alarming and damning. Who knows how many people, ninja or civilian, have been killed already? That will not help anyone, not us or any other shinobi nation to keep the peace between us and the civilians. The samurai would use it to show we aren't worthy of what we have, the nobles would eschew using us to solve their problems because their own people are afraid of even seeing our genin's shadows. We only _just_ got our own civilians used to us, after _forty years_ of Yamanaka conditioning. This will set that back by decades if we're not careful."

The older kunoichi nodded thoughtfully. "I see your point."

"It might not happen the way I can see it. Parts of it might happen while something else doesn't in the fullness of time, but the threat of any of that happening alone is enough to worry me. To top it all off, if this wasn't bad enough, there's a non-Uchiha clan sharingan user in the Land of Water. The Uchiha clan would push to recover that, preferably before someone else finds out their dōjutsu can do that and they end up hunted a bit more than they are now."

Bloodline theft was an executable offence for a reason.

The Hidden Villages were supposed to be safe havens for the clans, somewhere they could live without being hunted like animals for their special eyes or unique skills.

This? This was alarming and disturbing to the deeply buried historian in Natsumi. This was what made the social builds like the Hidden Villages fall apart, a flaw taken advantage of and used to perpetuate horrors under the noses of those who should have caught it.

The Mizukage after this mad one had taken years to claw and reshape her village back into a working Hidden Village, but even still Mist and Water had been the armpit of the Hidden Countries by what little she recalled of that other story.

"What would you suggest then, Panther? Invading Kiri out of the blue?"

"No, Bear-sama. If we are going to be forced to fix it, official channels need to be gone through first. Obviously, so everyone _and_ their ninja kaa-san can see there's a problem long before any more fighting."

"A Kage Summit, then." Minato suggested. "After sending word to the Daimyo that we are aware something is wrong and will attempt to asses it if he cannot get a good explanation he believes."

"Will that work if one kage is compromised?"

"No, but calling it anyways and seeing for ourselves will convince the others of the problem." Hiruzen finally spoke, tapping more tobacco into his pipe. "If what Hoshigaki claimed is true and what you see threatens us, neko-chan, that might be the only way to avoid losing the villages and being forced back into the Warring States Era."

His tone of voice alone told them what he thought of that happening.

"Are you _sure_ you can hide this former Kirigakure shinobi, neko-chan? If we lose him…"

"It depends on sensei, Hiruzen-sama. Ame did lose their leader a short while ago, if his other students would like Hoshigaki as a guard and a shinobi to work for them as they rebuild he could go there. Anyone who saw him leave Water would look at us first and then Suna, very few know of sensei's connection to Rain. They still call him the Frog Sage, making anyone who hears that think there is a copycat of sensei wandering around."

Jiraiya had looked rather confused over the offer she wanted taken to Yahiko, and considering she still thought the man was an asshole she couldn't blame him.

Nagato had gotten Kisame's respect once, in another life. Right?

Maybe it could happen again.

Natsumi wasn't entirely sure of that, nor of what Madara knew or didn't at this point.

This was something vastly different, though.

Something that might end up keeping that ancient old wreck from invading her village… or it might just aggravate it, causing the rogue Uchiha to come after them early.

It might just buy them more time, too.

Natsumi would dearly love to see her own child's first year of life. If that was all she could afford, she would be content with that.

If the worst happened she would never get that second child she wanted, which saddened her to think about. Her own child might not get a sibling to protect if she died, since she was a little sure Shikaku would never remarry after her. That either made her selfishly pleased or greatly horrified sometimes, and occasionally both at the same time.

Hizashi had gotten Misaki pregnant, she confirmed it a few days ago. Neji and his generation were on their way.

She had maybe less than a year left, using that other story as a reference. Natsumi was no longer content to use that as a time marker, she wanted more time with her village and her family.

Instead of waiting for Madara to come to Konoha and try to fuck them over, she would much rather invade his screwed to hell village and fuck him over. The village he fucked over trying to prove to himself that Hashirama had been wrong about his views on how the Hidden Villages should work and refused to stop screwing up until someone killed his puppet.

"Very well." Hiruzen looked up to Koharu, who gave a little incline of her head and moved to leave the office. "I have one other thing to discuss with you two."

"Hiruzen-sama?" Minato asked in concern as the Village Elder shut the door behind her.

Natsumi mentally marked out where everyone in the office was and the best exits in order of easy usage.

"I am old, Minato-kun. Much older than I should be. I believe it is time to pass my responsibilities on." The Sandaime stood from behind his desk, moving around it to stand before the two of them. "Someone else should lead Konohagakure now, I've served my time."

"One of you two have to do it." Bear helpfully tacked on when the silence stretched on too long.

Natsumi blinked very innocently at the ANBU General, then suddenly shoved Minato forward and bolted out the window.

You couldn't _pay_ her enough to do the damn paperwork.

(ooo000ooo)

" _Thanks_ for that, sempai."

"You'll be a fine Hokage, kouhai. The Yondaime Yellow Flash. It sounds good."

Minato glared at her. "The pushing was unnecessary."

"You looked a little frozen, something had to happen to knock you out of it."

"You _ran_ out the _window_."

"Better you than me."

He gritted his teeth and kept glaring at her.

"Oh stop pouting. I respect you. Hell, I'd follow you into hell if you asked. You'll be a great Hokage."

"Kushina's going to _kill_ me."

"Yeah… good luck with that one."

Minato ran a hand over his face, trying not to laugh at how strange their lives had suddenly become. "Did you know?"

"What, that Hiruzen wanted a successor? It was kind of obvious, the man's not getting any younger. He has enough regrets in his life, he doesn't need anymore." Natsumi shrugged, kicking her feet out over the edge of the Hokage's Monument. "They're right in that someone has to do it, and I'm… not exactly entirely sane anymore. I'm better don't get me wrong, but I would much rather have orders than give them. Less chance for what you all didn't catch before leaking though and ruining all our hard work."

He frowned, looking over the village they both served and he would soon lead. "I need an ANBU General."

"What? Well… yeah. Bear-sama's not young either. He should've… oh that complete _ass_."

"What?"

"That… I'm either impressed or pissed off with him."

Minato blinked at her, still confused. "What?"

"The ANBU General gives the Hokage a list of captains so they both know can handle his workload if he dies, practically every month. He's been dumping me with more than half his work every damn time I go in. I've been trained to take over for Bear, without knowing it." Natsumi pressed a hand to her green eye with a groan. "That… that colossal _dick_."

Panther becoming retired would just stick her with more paperwork. She had known that, planned on it even. There had been the much longed for tactical department in ANBU, she was going to try and tackle that instead of getting something shoved on her in default.

For the past five years, Bear had been giving her more and more paperwork to handle. Sneaking it in as either a 'fix this' or a 'handle that' while claiming 'I need to handle this now'.

The last captain she knew that had taken over Bear-sama's desk for a few hours? Wolf.

"Shika will be pleased… _paperwork_."

"So?"

Natsumi blinked her blue eye at him. "What?"

"I need an ANBU General, sempai."

"You already had one, kouhai, didn't you know?"

Minato grinned at her. "Shall we, then?"

"Yeah, yeah." Natsumi accepted his hand up. "You know what will be funny?"

"What?"

"Running ANBU _pregnant_ as fuck."

The future Yondaime hesitated, pulling a face as he thought of that. "You think we can get you pushed back a year or two?"

She snickered at him. "Kouhai! I am shocked at you. Absolutely, _terrifyingly_ shocked at your behavior. Are you scared of little old me? I might cry, you know."

He didn't look convinced, not even when she sniffed a few times in mock sadness. "That just makes me sure I don't want you running ANBU when pregnant, sempai."

"It'll take a few months to a year anyways." Natsumi told him, dropping the faked sniffles for an amused grin. "We're not going to be running the village when we wake up tomorrow, _Yondaime_. You need to be voted in, and get the Council of Clans' support. Then all the little political details need to be handled."

Minato snorted, thinking about that. "The Council of Clans' support will be the easy part, we know them. It's the voting part I'm not sure of…"

Natsumi just shook her head as they started wandering down the mountain. He had a very strange perception of himself, if he didn't know half their village worshiped the ground he walked on for grinding Iwa's nose into dust for them. The jōnin ranks would vote him in with a landslide against anyone else stupid enough to throw their names in.

Iwa-nin were not popular in the village, not at all.

"I've got the easy part, all I have to do is show up and Bear-sama will call an all captains' meeting to hand the ANBU Division over to me."

"…are you sure you don't want to be Yondaime? I'll trade you my hiraishin seals."

"I'm _not_ dealing with the hime. Fuck no. I'll keep my nice and easy ANBUs."

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku laughed in her face.

"Your support is touching, hubby mine. Now hold still, or I might miss."

He grabbed her wrist before she could get within an inch of his ribs with her knife, tugging her around so he could hug her.

Natsumi sighed into his chest as he tried to stop laughing in her hair. "Really? I know I was a little slow to pick that up, Shika, you don't have to laugh at me too."

"S-sorry." He didn't sound it, not even remotely. "But _damn_ , Natsu. I think I might invite Bear-sama to our firstborn's birth and make him godfather."

"Minato's first, I refuse to budge off that." She poked him in the side a few times with her knife handle to make her point. "Bear-sama can have the second kid, if you insist."

Shikaku took the knife from her and stuck it in the carving board she had been chopping vegetables on. "Still, wife mine. You are _ever_ so sneaky, you have to admit it's impressive he got that by you."

"So you don't mind?"

"What does an ANBU General do, Natsu? Paperwork. I've listened to you complain about if for weeks. ' _Bear-sama shoved this on me and it took all afternoon to finish._ '"

"I do _not_ sound like that."

"I'm not a kunoichi, forgive me." Shikaku huffed at her, leaning up against the counter and keeping her in his arms. "You already told me ANBU didn't actually allow retirement to happen to them, it just turned into deskwork. I am much relieved that your retirement will be enforced in a way even you can't wiggle out of. I know you, wife of mine, you would've allowed yourself to be convinced 'just one more mission' or 'that should be handled first'. This way even ANBU itself won't allow you to do that."

It did sound like something Natsumi would do, horribly enough.

"I still have six months to a year, Shika. Don't count your chickens before they hatch."

"I won't, but if you pull something like your taicho I'll be disappointed in you."

Dying before he finally gave up mission running was what Sakumo had ended up with. Natsumi would be very pissed off with herself if that happened to her too.

"And you know this is better, you'll get to keep an eye on all the kids about to go through your shadows without having to try and sneak it by me."

Natsumi pulled back just far enough to wrinkle her nose at him. "Love you too, hubby mine."

"Yes, wife mine. I love you too, but you know I'm right. Your sense of duty wouldn't have let you abandon Hizashi's students or your own there, and there are all the other students that have yet to think about joining or saying something that you would be tempted to at least check up on."

She snorted, giving up on the impulse to cook and instead burying her face in his chest. "You're mean, Shika."

"You married me."

"Mmm, true."

\V/

"Alright, Mongoose, let's try this again."

"Hai, taicho."

Panther watched her rookie slip off, going to scout out what he had to work with.

Time with both Cell Nine and his best friend had firmed up his nerves. The random appearance of Kiri-nin aside, forcing the deployment had been a success to keep him from mentally tripping over his prior mistakes and making even more.

She might, if he stayed this way, actually allow him a solely sabotage orientated mission next.

As long as she didn't have to kill anyone this time.

\V/

"They agreed, and Yahiko would like me to pass on that he is very, very sorry about that letter." Jiraiya told her cheerfully, walking down Intelligence's hallways with her. " _Very_ sorry, even."

"I don't really care. Next time the kunoichi can write me."

"I slapped him upside the head for you."

"That's nice."

"Konan slapped him across the face when she heard."

"Awesome of her."

"Nagato guilt tripped him into trying again, it almost reads like a love letter now."

"Eww… I dare you to hand that to Shika."

"Are you going to forgive him?"

"Probably not. Had it happened any other time, I might have." Natsumi shook her head with a small frown. "The timing alone though, sensei? He's got to have some really bad luck with women or something."

"I told them, what you lost after sending me out there to support them against Hanzō." The Toad Sage informed her seriously, standing just outside the rather plain room Kisame had lived in for the past month. The seals around it alone would prevent the former Mist Swordsman from hearing them. "I would like to tell them the rest of it, neko-chan."

"Why?"

"So in a few years you might do for Ame what you do for Konoha." He turned to her, worried and slightly stressed looking. "They are building their own village out of Rain, you've caught more than a few things for us using what you know, neko-chan. I would like to ask you to do it for them as well."

"Sensei, you have to have heard what's going on in the village." Minato and the Hokage's seat. "You know what he would ask me to handle for him." ANBU. "I probably won't have the time in a few years, or the space to do it in. Not if I have a child too."

"If I get you that space and time?"

Natsumi sighed and gave that some thought. She loved this man, not quite as much as she had Sakumo but he was still important to her. "You will be the one asking Shika and Minato. But if you can, and they agree, I will do this for you."

"Even if you still don't like Yahiko by that time?"

"Even if, sensei." She shoved a hand through her hightail, ignoring that it fell apart as the hair tie she wore snapped from that. "For you, not them."

"Thanks, neko-chan."

"Be careful, be paranoid even, telling them. Please."

Jiraiya nodded, as if that reminder wasn't needed. "Will do."

She smiled up at him, then kicked Kisame's door open. "Oi, big blue! Your travel guide is here."

The former Kiri jōnin flinched, still not used to her brashness after a month of sparse visits. "Who the fuck- …oh _shit_."

Kisame might be known as the tailless tailed beast, but Jiraiya was the Toad Sage Sannin.

Intimidating as a traveling companion, for sure. Slightly terrifying, given his skills against a still young and freshly defected Monster of the Mist.

Jiraiya grinned evilly. "Oh, this will be fun."

Kisame flinched again, sneaking a hand to Samehada's hilt. Probably for the reassurance.

"If you want, or think he's trustworthy enough, you can tell him too, sensei."

"You sure about that, neko-chan?"

"I think he might get a kick out of it. But only if you really like big blue over there."

Jiraiya smirked at her. "Not just because you want to ensure the poor fishy never has your measure?"

"He'll never have that if he let Nawaki talk him into this."

"True."

"Excuse me, am I allowed to know where you're sending me?" The former Swordsman of the Mist snarled, rather respectfully in Natsumi's view of things.

Her sensei had been an S-ranked badass for years, though. That was probably an obvious reaction to suddenly being introduced to the white haired sannin. She was still an unknown quantity to him, someone who had influence in this village but didn't even blink at his physical appearance, so he treated her cautiously as any shinobi would something unknown but probably lethal.

"Nope. That's all up to sensei." She chirped brightly at him. "Be warned, he loves long walks and talking in circles."

"Thanks for making it sound like we're going on a date, neko-chan." Jiraiya told her wryly, fighting the grin on his face to remain and not slide off in horror.

"Oh, stop pouting. It's not attractive on a man your age." Natsumi patted him on one arm, snickering. "I'll make you food to go, even. You two can have a nice picnic somewhere and get to know each other."

Kisame palling was an interesting sight. Her sensei was way too used to her antics and merely rolled his eyes and huffed.

If she did go out there in a year or two, it would be even more interesting to see if she could get him to spit out whatever he was drinking.

Yahiko too, she still hadn't forgiven that ass. Fellow student of the Toad Sage or not.

\V/

Hiruzen shut the door behind him, looking every year his age.

Minato gave him a concerned look, but the Sandaime shook his head.

"Panther-chan. If you would."

The assassin hesitated instead of passing the aged Hokage and doing his bidding. "Hiruzen-sama? If I may ask?"

The Third Fire Shadow gave her his attention.

"If I do it, will you hate me?"

Danzō wasn't going anywhere, and Sakumo had been avenged already by Minato's hand for both his student and her. Natsumi didn't need to be the one to kill him as long as he was dead in the end.

Although she had a duty to the dead, some of the still living were more important than even that.

They were alive, the dead could wait.

"My friend died long ago, Panther-chan." Hiruzen told her softly. "That is not him."

"I respect you more than I hate him. I would prefer your regard over avenging my taicho."

He smiled, sad and ancient but still the smile of a shinobi warlord who fought and led them through two wars. "I appreciate the thought, neko-chan. I promise, I will not hate you for it."

Panther nodded sharply, finally moving past the two shinobi who guarded the door as she dealt with the occupant.

Danzō, thinner and weaker than he had been all those months ago when he tried passing Sakumo's death off as an accident, glared at her.

His ROOT were either all dead or subsumed by ANBU, the attempts to free him had only just finally tapered off. He knew who she was, a spymaster of his caliber had to. Danzō had probably figured out who had sounded the alarm, especially since he did come after her the one time he was free to do so.

The fact she would be the one to kill him? Priceless.

The assassin sealed the door behind her.

\V/

"So, does Hiashi-sama have a lady love yet?" Natsumi asked Misaki as she walked the other kunoichi back to the Hyūga clan.

Why it was the noblewoman's bodyguard wanted her to go with to her baby health check when her husband had a mission was confusing, but whatever.

The assassin loved kids, even unborn ones.

"He has an arrangement within the clan now, yes. I am not sure if he really is content with Hisana-san or not."

"Meh, Hyūga men. Enough said."

Misaki smiled softly at that. "True enough. Slightly tricky for non-clan women to understand."

"I think that was a slight against my observational skills as a kunoichi." Natsumi informed her dryly. "Not too sure what I feel about that."

"Will you hold your tea parties again, Natsumi? I do miss them." The Hyūga kunoichi asked instead of addressing that.

"Only for the dirt we can give you on your husband and his Nii-sama, I'm sure."

"Something like that, yes."

The Nara sighed, looking up at the darkening sky. "Possibly. Depends. If Kushina-hime and Mikoto can make this truce thing last, maybe. I've got a few more kunoichi I'd invite, if you know anyone you want to ask along I'm game to host them."

Misaki frowned softly, a rare sight. "I am not sure if Hisana-san would attend a non-clan function with the Uchiha Matron."

"I plan on inviting Koharu-sama and Tsunade-sama as well."

"Oh."

That really was all that needed to be said about that.

"After a few times, if it still works out, a few civilian women married into some clans then. Eri-kaa-chan, the Hatake Matriarch, and Momo-chan, who will be the Akimichi clan head's wife in a few months."

The Hyūga kunoichi looked at the Nara one striding along with her. "And after that?"

"Some of our kunoichi students. I don't have one, but Minato has a kunoichi student. Kizashi has one, your husband knows who that is. Mikoto is about to get one. Do you want a genin team, by the way? Mikoto almost let me arrange it so she didn't have to get one, had she said something about wanting one I would have arranged it sooner."

"I am fine with not having one just yet, unless you need the jōnin to lead more teams." Misaki informed her easily. "What are you trying to do with these tea parties, Natsumi?"

"You and Mikoto, I swear. There is no reason, other than the obvious."

"The obvious?"

Natsumi smirked. "Kunoichi networking."

\V/

Natsumi blinked at her friend. "Him?"

"Yes? Is that a problem?" Mikoto peered through the wall at the academy sparring practice going on, made transparent by a feat of fūinjutsu.

Even after all the years Natsumi had overlooked the academy, she still didn't know how that worked. She swore, yet again, to figure it out and shoved it to the back of her mind. "Tenzou-kun's a little… special."

The Uchiha kunoichi blinked at her. "What do you mean?"

"Take a good look at the grass around his feet, Mikoto, and tell me."

Mikoto was a genjutsu mistress, she spotted the difference pretty damn fast. "Natsumi… what…?"

Tenzou's control was good, but he was a child still. The grass was visibly greener around him, and still brightening as they watched.

"You remember what Orochimaru got executed for, right? Tenzou and his sister, Naomi, are a little… special."

"Are you telling me-"

"I can't tell you anything, not right now."

Natsumi glanced at her pseudo-son. She had _hated_ Bear-sama for denying him a regular genin career, but… she was the next ANBU General. If she couldn't use that…

"I might not be able to give you him, Mikoto. But if I can, can you treat him like any other student?"

The Uchiha glanced between her and the child they were talking about. "I will, if you can."

"Then I'll try. Don't expect a miracle, but if I can he's yours."

\V/

Panther was pretty sure she was gaping under her mask, but she didn't care.

"You… you… _massively_ suck. Like so much, I can't tell you how much."

Why did Bear-sama suck?

There was two of them.

Konohagakure had _two_ ANBU Generals. Twin shinobi.

No wonder it seemed as if Bear never left ANBU headquarters. One twin left and the other went in for a full day's work. A captain taking over their desk was just so they could have the time to catch up with each other.

Natsumi had noted that twin ninja were difficult to tell apart using any chakra sense, she would've screwed the Hyūga twins up had she not had a method in place to tell them apart long before getting a feel of her friends using that skewed sensing she had.

Panther had never suspected Bear had a twin, who was also given the title of Bear.

That was a mind fuck worthy of Yamanaka make.

"You… you both are complete _assholes_. I can't do that, I don't have a twin."

"We know." Bear on the left informed her calmly. "You can either pick a double or decide on another method of running the place, Panther."

Bear on the right shrugged. "You probably shouldn't do the double, too much hassle for a lead ninja to train up on the sly."

Panther snickered a bit, helplessly. Had she stolen Hizashi's job? If the clan kids she adored so way back when gotten scared off ANBU because of her, would one of the Hyūga twins otherwise be in her place now?

Should the Hyūga clan have ANBU instead of her?

The assassin sighed heavily, rubbing at the left side of her neck. "I… kami, I still think the both of you suck. No, I'll do something different."

Hizashi hated ANBU, or at least he hated their lifestyle. Hiashi… she hadn't seen him in years and he might have at least tried it for a few years in that other story.

Natsumi would probably never know, she hadn't suspected either twin might or might not want ANBU before she almost killed herself doing it.

Panther shook her head, and refocused on her superiors. "The captains should either be given more freedom or allowed to drop something from their usual responsibilities. We're starting to step on each other's toes. Here's what I'm going to do…"


	21. Dark Paths

_In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing._

_\- Theodore Roosevelt_

* * *

It was very quiet in the Ame Orphan's hideout as Jiraiya finally stopped talking.

Yahiko looked stunned. Konan had a small frown.

Nagato was the only one who looked thoughtful. "She agreed to do the same for us?"

"You have to understand, Nagato-kun. Neko-chan loves me, enough to report a suspicious assassination mission in your direction all because she thought it might have something to do with me." The Toad Sage informed him dryly, tugging a massive hand though his wild hair in order to scratch the back of his head. "On a _suspicion_ , she sent me out here. For something she didn't know was that important to me, but knew I spent a lot of time in this part of the Hidden Countries and so it might be important even if I never told her or her fellow students what. I asked her to, she'd do it just because I did."

"She… she's _died_ once? She's lived two lives?" The paper wielding kunoichi repeated, looking slightly queasy. "Sensei… are you _sure?_ "

Jiraiya snorted. "You have no idea how much I struggled with that at first. What do you teach a warrior that knew how to kill long before she was even born? What kind of loyalty did she have outside the village? But… neko-chan's other life? It ended _thousands_ of years ago, she couldn't even recognize the landmass our maps show now. Her old home is gone, nothing she could do would bring that back. Everything she once knew is dead and dust, all she has now is Konohagakure no Sato and the life she made herself there. She allowed a mind walker into her head, Konan-chan, he told us the same thing after viewing her memories."

Yahiko worked his jaw silently, still looking shocked.

Nagato interjected before he could gather his wits. "Thousands?"

"She knows a few languages that are _no longer spoken_ , Nagato-kun. The moment I believe her was when my own Toads read it off and commented they hadn't seen the like in ages." The sannin frowned slightly. "I wonder if she still knows how to speak them? Eh… anyways, back then there was less significance put on hiding one's history. Neko-chan will admit she loves history, even if that wasn't something she could indulge more often than not here. They also had records stretching back another two thousand years, which means she knows how quite a few civilizations formed and fell from that. With her intuitive abilities, psychology skills, _and_ that? She's Konoha's best troubleshooter, hands down."

"And… she hates me." Yahiko planted his face in his hands. "Oh kami."

"Neko-chan doesn't hate you," Jiraiya contradicted calmly, "she just wants nothing to do with you now. She said it herself, had it been any other time that letter reached her she probably would've forgiven you that. You were just trying to protect your teammate, she does respect the point in it. But… that was also around the time the one man who didn't know about her reincarnation and treated her as a daughter anyways died. Sakumo meant a whole lot to her, and she probably realized that if I hadn't been out here with you I would've gone on that mission and at least kept my friend alive. They only barely just managed to kill him, Sakumo and I together probably wouldn't have lost half the team in the end."

The orange haired ninja cringed. "That doesn't help me out any, sensei."

"Good. That was a stupid thing you pulled on her. I was shocked you tried that on her."

"Yahiko's moments of stupidity aside," Konan interjected smoothly, "she did agree to help us as well, if only just for Jiraiya-sensei. I think we should be thankful for that, and if she wants I'll keep our idiotic leader from bothering her."

The older shinobi grinned at his second female student. "Neko-chan insists on any further letters coming from you, Konan-chan. I'll take that back and she'll probably write you first. If you see a big spotted cat, it's one of her Summons."

That seemed to please the blue haired kunoichi, painting a small smile on her face. "I would be delighted."

Jiraiya nodded, rising up to his full height and scowling when his head hit the top of the dugout hideaway he had helped his other students build. "You want to know something amusing?"

"What?" Nagato asked as he and his teammates followed the white haired sannin out into the late afternoon drizzle.

"She'd come out here more for me, you, and _fishy_ than Yahiko right now."

"She who?" Kisame grumbled as he rose to his full height when they reached where he had been waiting for them.

The former Kirigakure jōnin was on probation, but allowed to wander where he pleased until Konoha needed him for the Kage Summit. After that he would be an Amegakure no Sato jōnin shinobi instead of a former Kiri one, with all the rights that entailed. For the time being the former Swordsman of the Mist seemed rather content at helping the rebuilding process, once he heard the story of the fight between Hanzō the Salamander and the Ame Orphans with Jiraiya the Toad Sage as backup.

Hanzō had originally attempted to lure the Ame Orphans and the rebel Akatsuki out into a dead ended valley, but Jiraiya stopped all over that with his Toads to help. Half of Amegakure ended up saturated with poison from the former kage leader of Rain, forcing the remaining Ame-nin to tear down and rebuild as the frequent rainfall washed the ground clear again. That didn't account for the damage the Toad Sage's Summons had left behind, gigantic amphibians had very poor depth perception when it came to buildings, or what damage the heavy jutsu use left scarred into the ground.

The Village Hidden in the Rain citizens were still living out of tents for the time being. The race was to put up buildings before the frequent rainfall turned to icy sleet and froze the ground for the winter, and secure the food stores again so they would be able to eat through the non-growing seasons.

It seemed to be possible, half the major buildings were up since the fight took place and the other half might just get finished in time with the thanks of Kisame's strength added to Jiraiya's. They were bare wooden constructs, but better than nothing.

"Nara Natsumi, one of my other students. The one that arranged it so you could come here." The sannin pleasantly grinned at the shark shinobi. "The strange one that you hit a few triggers on and got yourself protected by."

He had been left outside for the story, Kisame still didn't know of Natsumi's past life. Jiraiya wasn't going to be the one to tell him just yet, a few weeks of traveling and rebuilding did not give him enough time to take the other ninja's measure, even if the assassin in question had allowed the possibility if he wanted. He was a little confused over why his oldest, all total, student had offered that as well, but the news she trusted him if he spread it to those he thought needed to know was appreciated.

That didn't mean big and blue wasn't confused over the kunoichi herself or had questions.

"Why did she do that? I still don't understand."

"You hit the same thing that allowed her to get attached with a fellow orphan, who asked for her help, back when she was still shocked numb over a few things." Jiraiya's pleasant grin turned a touch sharp. "You were brought to her by some of the ninja she trusts, and then you told her you didn't know what to do. That made her want to arrange it so you'd get what you want, even if you didn't know what it was you want. She respects you for what you did, realizing something was screwed up and doing what you could about it even if it was just leaving your former village. She ever loses that respect for you, fishy, you won't live to regret it."

Kisame scowled fiercely, edging away from the sannin slightly. "I didn't ask for anything from her."

"You didn't have to. That trigger has gotten more than just you her assistance, I know a pair of Sunagakure shinobi that think the world of her for what she did for them when one hit that." The oldest shinobi there huffed, slightly irritated but mostly fond. "She gets attached to the strangest ninja sometimes, but refuses to deal with a few I know are trustworthy and respectable."

"Like who?"

"Fishy isn't enough of a strange shinobi?" Jiraiya asked Yahiko archly. "Killer B of Kumogakure, oddly enough. Damned if I know why that one, but probably for the kenjutsu fights they've gotten into over the years and a bit of flirting he did with her. She refuses to hear anything bad about him, insisting he's just funny even when we know he's the jinchūriki of the eight-tails."

Konan blinked a few times. " _Flirting?_ "

"Flirting." He confirmed dryly. "Once right in front of her husband, too. Neko-chan still laughs over that. Even if B did it to buy himself time or to distract them, it was still flirting and she appreciated it… after the fact, anyways."

"So, why me?" Nagato questioned after they had a long moment to process that. "I have had little to do with her so far."

"But you made her hime ecstatically happy. You didn't have to write Kushina-hime, you didn't even have to acknowledge the fact you have a cousin at all. You did it anyways when I told you why neko-chan caught the assassination request. That bought you a spot on her network of contacts and important figures she'd screw half the world over for, probably just above fishy himself and the friends of her own friends."

\V/

Natsumi growled at the paperwork spread out over her lap, as if that would scare it all off. "I'm going to have to give something up."

Shikaku looked over at her, where she was situated in their study with both the academy paperwork and ANBU's spread out around her. "Well… probably. You didn't plan on holding onto the academy long term, wife mine."

She had held on because it was an almost tailored made distraction for her. Children and teaching? She loved going to dig into the academy's structure and help out, especially when her husband was gone or something was going wrong in her life.

"I… I _want_ to, hubby dear. I want to hold on to it."

There wasn't any real reason, the last of their friends had finally gotten a genin team made up of the names Natsumi recalled from an alternate storyline that had somehow become her life.

Mikoto would get Mitarashi Anko, Umino Iruka, and Tenzou to teach.

It would take another ten years for the next generation of names she recognized to pass though the academy, and by that time the children might end up vastly different than before.

Neji was… not going to be sealed, for one, and hate his cousin for the first decade of their lives because of it. Hinata? Err… might not flinch from people without that egging her on. Maybe.

Naruto might not lose either parent with this new Kiri twist to things. Sakura would have a mother entrenched into a kunoichi tea party circle, and probably would be taught not to fan girl long before it could become a problem. Sauske would have his clan, if at all possible.

Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji?

She wasn't Yoshino; Inoichi might have given up looking for a suitable wife one of the times she called him three different kinds of idiot for thinking about doing it; Momo… well, probably would've ended up with Chouza anyways.

She loved them, those good old Akimichis. Solid and dependable no matter what.

Natsumi didn't know what problem Kiba had with Shino, but with Shibi Hana's godfather that might change drastically.

Maybe… that actually may end up a problem. What if Kiba had thought Shibi was Hana's father and refused to acknowledge it?

That was kind of a touchy situation. Natsumi might tease Tsume about Shibi being Hana's father, but that was something the assassin really hoped wasn't the case.

If it was true, Shibi still needed an heir for his clan.

If the two trackers were in a relationship then Tsume couldn't be the kunoichi to bear him one. Her clan had a very firm view of what the children they produced did after five years of age, they got their dogs, but Aburames were given over to the kikachu to become hosts. That differentiating viewpoint on any of their children wouldn't end well for Natsumi's favorite pair of trackers. Even more, Tsume had the loyalty of a dog. If she was in a relationship with the Aburame clan head, she wouldn't accept another kunoichi or woman bearing Shibi a child when there wasn't any physical reason she couldn't.

Well… something more to watch for.

Natsumi frowned, studying the academy paperwork Shikaku handed to her the moment he reached it in his own mess of work for the clan.

Maybe she didn't need the academy, as a full or part time position. It would help, during the pregnancy and occasionally sometimes after, but it wasn't something that needed her oversight constantly anymore. She had trained the instructors rather well, or scared them enough to be afraid of her wrath, and there were Naras there now. Everything they couldn't fix or ran into blindly would eventually reach her, anyways. Without two Village Elders trying to screw it up, that should be safe enough with only occasional oversight once or twice a year.

Natsumi would have to give up the academy in order to run ANBU for Minato.

"Well crap. How rude."

"What?"

"Add this to the list of shit my kouhai needs to pay me back for." The Leopard Summoner informed her husband dryly. "Right next to chakra control lessons that nearly dented my head; the hime's kidnapping and getting slapped for reckless behavior; learning fūinjutsu even if it scarred me up; being a test subject for his stupid hiraishin seals; that chakra expanding exercise to the point of nausea; feeding the gaki and his girlfriend for three years; learning to Summon with him; being his best battle partner; arranging his genin team; telling him stories of my last life; and agreeing to run ANBU for… you know what? He owes me his firstborn, damn it all."

Shikaku practically fell over backwards, laughing at her.

(ooo000ooo)

"Anko-chan, I'm pretty sure you're not allowed back here."

The freshly graduated kunoichi trainee squeaked a bit, whirling around to give the jōnin kunoichi who overlooked the academy a bright and cheerful grin. "Natsumi-sama! Err… you're back early."

"Yeah… that tends to happen when one runs out to fetch another lunch to eat when their own becomes contaminated with paint." Natsumi informed the young girl dryly, leaning against her office wall in the academy itself with a carton of food in one hand. "Can I ask what you're doing, or will I get a bullshit answer?"

Anko smirked sheepishly, shrugging and batting wide brown eyes in fake innocence. "I was just looking."

"The genin teams are already formed up, the list aren't here anymore. You also won't be able to find out your jōnin-sensei's name just yet." When that didn't even make the new kunoichi flinch, the older woman rolled her eyes. "What is it this time?"

"Umm, I heard a rumor?"

"Of?"

"You might be leaving the academy?"

"True."

Anko squawked, flapping her arms as if she thought if she did it enough it would keep the Nara where she was. "But Natsumi-sama! You're _awesome_ , why would you leave? You tell us war stories and you always talk to us when we need advice. You _can't_ leave."

"Anko-chan, you're leaving too. You won't be coming back to the academy yourself, why do you care?"

Natsumi would admit to the war stories, but she normally told them when one of her Nara instructors faked sleeping instead of picking up whatever lesson after sparring practice. Teachers or not, Naras were lazy enough not to want to try corralling a group of hyper children bragging about who beat who. Those war stories also held pointed examples for why they were required to do things taught in the academy, mix ups and just awkward happenings the assassin had witnessed over the years of the Third War when those regulations had been either ignored or done wrong.

Advice? Well… that could be done by any instructor, not just Natsumi.

"It won't be the same without you."

"And again you're registering yourself as a genin kunoichi so you won't come back to the academy after being assigned a genin team, kiddo." She ruffled the girl's short purple hair with a smirk. "Here's some advice for you, nothing good lasts forever. If you think something is awesome, Anko-chan, it's normally because it's either rare or fleeting. If you can, hold onto that."

She pouted under her hand, ignoring that her short locks fell out of the pins that kept it up. "It's still going to suck."

"Yeah, I didn't really want to give this up either." Natsumi sighed, then looked at the takeout container she had to fetch when paint somehow got into the food she brought from home. "So since I, for whatever reason, have _a_ lunch and _two_ desserts unmarred by stuff that normally goes on walls, want some sugar Anko-chan?"

The younger kunoichi blinked brown eyes innocently up at her. "I wonder how that happened, Natsumi-sama. I would love to help you out with that, though. Do you have any tea?"

(ooo000ooo)

Mikoto took a few deep breaths, recalling what Natsumi had told her about picking up her genin team but getting distracted a bit before she could open the door she was standing in front of.

She was getting her _own_ genin team. To train and watch grow for the village's future, as both a guide and as a role model for them to rely on.

The genjutsu mistress had known the thought had been foolish, her assumption that even Natsumi was slighting her and sidelining her somewhat. That foolishness had made it rather difficult to approach and talk to the assassin about it. Mikoto had her pride, being wrong was a bit damaging to it.

When the Nara had, tiredly and apologetically, warned her about her years' time limit to take one on, she had thought she misheard at first.

Natsumi's confusion at the topic had simply highlighted how wrong the Uchiha's Matron had been in her assumption.

She had probably been a bit silly, in the relived realization that she wasn't slighting her intentionally. The other kunoichi had just wanted to prevent heaping too much on her.

Mikoto couldn't be sorry about it, she had been way too happy at the time.

Though, she did wonder how she came up with that assumption. The Nara's Lady had later given her a copy of an old treatise between the Second Hokage and the then current head of her clan, one that stated Uchiha MPs were not required to take on genin teams unless they _specifically_ request one to show they had the time for teaching. It spanned everyone from the lowest beat walkers to the Head of the Military Police, if they didn't request one from the academy they wouldn't be assigned one.

Most Uchiha shinobi ended up working as MPs, it was just convenient for them and fast becoming a point of pride for the clan.

Mikoto technically wasn't the Head of the Military Police, which was why Natsumi had given her the warning.

That had caused more than a little confusion in her own clan, the paper hadn't been recorded in their library but it seemed as if some of the point in it were still in use.

Her clan had been wondering why they weren't getting genin teams to teach, that reason had been a little humbling to learn of. They had done it to themselves, and then forgot and wanted to get irritable about it. That had not been a bright moment for her clan, though luckily Natsumi hadn't really blinked at helping them correct that.

Furthermore, when picking out her own students she somehow picked one of two students involved in an S-ranked secret. Natsumi cautioned her that it might not be possible to get him, but somehow arranged it all as she wanted anyways.

Mikoto now possessed an S-ranked secret, one that had nothing to do with the Uchiha clan or the Military Police. The ANBU captain, assassination specialist, and paranoid jōnin kunoichi that was Nara Natsumi trusted her enough to let her in on it when she only just mentioned wanting something to do with it.

It had been a little horrifying to learn of, but still something she took pride in being trusted with.

Sometimes she wondered what she had done to deserve the reincarnated woman's regard. Mikoto wouldn't argue, it was flattering that such a woman with that much experience in life thought of her as a friend, but the woman herself could be intimidating.

Then she acted like a child and made the Uchiha wonder if that intimidating kunoichi was alright in the head.

Mikoto huffed a small laugh at her own thoughts, turning back to the classroom door between her and her perspective students.

She was the first Uchiha to take on a genin team in nearly ten years, she shouldn't be afraid of meeting her students.

She had picked them herself and it was the last team Natsumi would assemble for the academy as it's head.

How could that go wrong?

\V/

"He proposed!"

Natsumi coughed a few times, patting Kushina on the back weakly. "Well… ow, about time. Hime… I kind of _need_ to _breathe_."

The redhead only pulled back after another rib cracking squeeze, leaving a wheezing assassin to nearly collapse on the ground. "I… I'm getting married."

"Yes… yes, that normally happens after you are proposed to." Natsumi took some deep breaths, trying to get the spots in her vision to go away. "Remind me to stand behind Minato the next time you feel like celebrating."

"I'm standing behind you, sempai."

"I know. Your point?" His future ANBU General accepted her future Hokage's support, cradling her aching ribcage and just leaning up against him. "You are marrying the woman, you deal with it… congrats, by the by. About time you made an honest woman of her."

Minato smiled, fond and pleased and stanchly ignoring that last quip. "Thanks."

There was a sneaking suspicion in the back of her head that he had delayed proposing in favor of telling her about his future job as Hokage first, then sprang the proposal in when Kushina was still gaping at Minato beating her to the hat. She had to admire that if it was true, ninja being sneaky in the face of womanly wrath was hilarious.

She'd get the truth out of the hime later, then harass him over it with her. She wouldn't be his sister if she didn't, and that would be amusing in spades.

Natsumi only half listened to Kushina babble on, rather content to just recover her breath instead of wasting any to talk with only to be ignored.

Until the other kunoichi made mention of what kind of ceremony they would have. "Wait… _WHAT!_ "

The Whirlpool Princess realized too late she had told the assassin what kind of marriage ceremony she had wanted years ago. "Err… well… there is a war going on…"

"Keep talking, that's no reason to do a civil ceremony." Natsumi observed icily, a very sadistic grin on her face. "I know of two others getting hitched who are going all out for it."

"They're clan heads?"

"And you are my dear friend, hime." She jerked a clawed thumb at the blond cringing slightly next to her. "Not to mention my brother. Try again."

"…we don't have the funds for it."

Natsumi blinked a few times, then shook her head with a chuckle. "You both are morons. I _told_ you a house was expensive."

Minato winced, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Yes, yes you did sempai."

The assassin frowned slightly in response, staring up at the winter sky over the Nara training grounds for a long moment. "How much is the bride price?"

"What?"

"Hime?"

"Err… that was like… ten thousand ryo… almost twenty years ago, I think. Why?"

Natsumi did some rapid calculations in her head, the shrugged. "I have… about twice that, from ANBU mission pay collected over ten years and rarely touched. I'll pay the bride price, kami knows I raised you both enough to count as a kaa-san. Use that to get hitched in style."

Kushina gaped at her. "But… but that was back when the Uzumaki clan was _enormous!_ Natsumi-"

"And my brother is either marrying in or taking you out of it." Natsumi spoke over her loudly, rolling her eyes. "Think of it as a wedding gift if you have to."

"Sempai-"

"You argue, I will _double_ it."

Minato shut his mouth, blinking at her.

She arched a challenging eyebrow in return.

It lost it's effect when Kushina hit her like a runaway bull and knocked her off her feet with a teary hug.

Natsumi despaired over the state of her ribs and just hugged the jinchūriki back as they both lay on the icy ground.

\V/

When Fugaku, Tsume, and Shibi returned to Konohagakure and Hiashi's division didn't immediately head out with him in late spring, the all the major clans knew something was up.

Shikaku might know somewhat, and he told his teammates what he knew, but even he didn't know the full story. Natsumi hadn't informed him she had possibly been the next Hokage, she merely told him she would be Minato's ANBU General. The only ones that knew were the twin Bear-samas, Hiruzen, Minato, and herself still.

The Council of Clans convened with all clan heads attending, the first time in nearly two years. They were unsurprised at the subject matter, confirming Minato's candidacy as Hokage to be with minimum fuss raised. It had probably been the shortest clan council session in the history of Konohagakure no Sato.

When the shinobi corps realized the jōnin were returning without another set of them getting deployed to replace them, they then knew something was up.

There were over two hundred and fifty jōnin, around three hundred tokubetsu jōnin, nearly eight hundred chūnin, and almost a thousand genin that called the Village Hidden in the Leaves home.

At the moment, there were no tokubetsu jōnin in the village but all two hundred and fifty or so jōnin were crammed inside.

The only place large enough to fit them was the arena, the place the elimination bouts of the chūnin exams took place in.

Natsumi cast an eye around at the seating arrangement as she helped a visibly pregnant Misaki to a seat, a little bemused. It was one thing to know you had that many coworkers, it was another entirely to see all of them occupying the same space.

What did all of their jōnin shinobi occupying the same spot in the middle of a war look like?

Half of Konoha's jōnin probably rarely saw one another, and the war had split that further into three distinct social sections. She amused herself in picking out which ninja preferred which ninja, who were still friends and who heartily disliked each other, and which clan shinobi had a lover in another clan. The location had probably been deliberate, the seats were built into the stadium and allowed the highly paranoid and suspicious ninja there to pick their own spots and set their comrades at their own backs in a very interesting triple daisy chained pattern.

The assassin herself was unsurprised she was a converging point for quite a few clan shinobi, Naras ringed by the Yamanaka and Akimichi clans' jōnin and the Hyūga clan's only for Misaki's presence at her side. The Inuzukas lingered in the back with the Aburames, directly behind them.

You could tell a lot about an organization or place by the people that made it up and their preferences.

Even when Mikoto joined her, running slightly late but not too much, the clan shinobi around merely shifted a bit to allow the Uchiha clan jōnin to have the other side of the group away from the Hyūgas.

Natsumi wanted to put her face in her hands and laugh.

She didn't, only because Shikaku was down in the arena with Minato, Jiraiya, Hiruzen, and the rest of the clan heads. Natsumi had to be the Nara's Lady right now, not a kunoichi assassin that liked screwing with heads. She gave the Uchiha Matron a lazy grin instead, brushing off the hurried apologies with ease and the reassurance that they knew she now managed a genin team, but even with her husband home to manage the Military Police for them it had to take up a chunk of time she couldn't plan for. That didn't include managing a whole clan between them or anything else that the clan needed.

How in the world did she have the time and energy to do it all? Those brats took up a lot more time than most realized, and did she have any problems with them yet? It was around the time they started grating against each other, once the newness of being genin wore off.

Those that heard her and held some kind of disproval for being late and not early for the Uchihas readjusted their view of it quickly.

The only ones that were forgiven for being late as well? The medics that came in at the deadline report time, led by Tsunade.

The Hospital had to be in the middle of a panic, with all the jōnin medics here and not pulling doctor shifts.

The Slug Princess detoured to where Misaki was as her agitated looking medics picked spots for themselves where they wanted, no one said no to the medics' wishes for seating, probably because she was still in medic mode and pregnant kunoichi could be paranoid about their health. Checking the four month pregnant kunoichi after she slid through the Hyūga clan knot of jōnin was easy for her, as they all immediately and politely shifted away from her path to allow her the space to check their branch head's wife's condition. Then the sannin nodded, to ensure the kunoichi and Hyūga clan jōnin knew she found no problems, and jumped down to join Jiraiya behind their teacher.

Hiruzen waited only long enough for the sun to slip behind the massively thick walls of the arena.

"Jōnin of Konohagakure no Sato, my elites. I have called you all together for one reason. I have served you as Hokage for years… but it is my time to step aside and allow another to lead you through the next decades as the Fire Shadow of our Village Hidden in the Leaves. I present you my candidate to succeed me, Namikaze Minato. If any of you have concerns of his ability to lead you, speak now."

(ooo000ooo)

"Oh… this will be short." Natsumi informed her fellow jōnin idly as the major leaders of their village stepped aside to let the sole challenger step forward.

"How so?"

The assassin grinned at the Uchiha clan Matron. "Minato can get past my kinjutsu, Mikoto. He kicks my ass regularly when we can fit in a spar."

"Your kinjutsu is a Yin Release." The genjutsu mistress thought aloud. "That would give him a large amount of experience dispelling illusions or discounting them if he can not."

"There is also that senjutsu sensing he can do." Natsumi tacked on pleasantly. "You have no idea how _annoying_ that is when fighting him. My kouhai instantly knows what's real and what's not when we fight genjutsu users. I have to be perfectly correct in an instant and prevent him time to think if I want to trip him up with that."

Kurama Murakumo was going to get his ass kicked. She didn't know why he was trying this, if it had something to do with her or not, but he was still going down.

The head of the Kurama clan might be a jōnin level genjutsu master, and he might have a variation of the clan's kekkai genkai like the bastard of his clan, but it wasn't going to help him any.

Minato specialized in fūinjutsu, true, as the hiraishin seals and his speed in the art could contest to that. He also specialized in fuuton and katon ninjutsu use, and sparred against clan heads, a sannin occasionally, and an ANBU captain to refine it all.

That didn't include his Summons, his picture perfect memory recall, or innate sense for natural chakra and what wasn't supposed to be there.

Natsumi almost wanted to look away, her dislike for that clan or not this would be embarrassing for the Kuramas.

Unkai, the branch head, followed Murakumo down into the area seemingly telling the younger jōnin something as they waited. Then the older Kurama backed away and the two shinobi who would be demonstrating how exactly Minato was fit for Hokage exchanged a few words.

Whatever the Kurama clan head told Natsumi's kouhai, it pissed him off.

Most others might not be able to see it, the assassin was far enough away not to be able to use his face or body language for it, but when he went from gusty hot breeze in her chakra sense to frigid gale she knew.

Fighting a pissed off Minato? Someone had a death wish.

Her guess had been correct, the fight was over with fast. The blond jōnin ignored any attempts to alter his view of the world and flicked a hiraishin kunai out to pass the minor clan head. Murakumo probably didn't know exactly how Minato fought with those seals, he treated them like any kunai and merely evaded.

Minato flashed behind him in a streak of yellow, a kick to the head knocked the other jōnin out of his senses.

Natsumi had to wince, Minato's kicks _hurt_.

(ooo000ooo)

"So… what was that all about?"

Shikaku gave her a glance as his wife joined him and a few clan heads in the arena while the rest of Konoha's jōnin shinobi left the stadium in droves. "They attempted to barter their approval for his support to take you out of the Nara clan, wife mine."

Natsumi came to a sudden halt, blinking more in shock than irritation. "Did they do _no_ intel gathering on me before trying this crap? Why the hell did they think that would work?"

"Natsu, you practically disappear out of Konohagakure frequently to most shinobi." Her husband dryly informed her with a shrug. "We might know, but only because you let us know what you were up to. Everyone else? You were in the academy, disappeared; joined Team Seven, learned kenjutsu for a few years but still disappeared occasionally; showed up as my wife and then disappeared again for stretches of time; suddenly threw the academy into revolt and took over a genin team, then disappeared for even longer stretches. You see a pattern yet?"

"To most of Konoha, you two have an on again off again friendship." Hiruzen put in, looking amused at this entire discussion. "He might just call you sempai out of habit, and you might just annoy him occasionally because it is your habit."

Jiraiya patted the assassin on the head condescendingly. "You aren't the easiest kunoichi to tail or get Intel on, neko-chan. It makes me proud, it does."

She batted her sensei's hand away from her head, frowning. "Still… if you put it that way, I sound like a ghost."

Shikaku snorted, snickering and trying to seem like he wasn't laughing at her at the same time. He failed miserably.

"Well… you are, sempai." Minato accepted Jiraiya's hand up, once Tsunade was finished healing whatever he did to the leg he slammed into Kurama Murakumo's hard head. "A very cheerful one, and sometimes a scary one, but still a ghost around the village. I can usually hear what you were up to pretty quickly because of all the gossip that starts up when you wander around."

Inoichi about choked on his air. "Konohagakure's Hyo no Yurei. _HA!_ "

Natsumi blinked at him blankly. Leopard Ghost? "I get stuck with that, I'll kill you even if Foxy pouts at me for it."

\V/

There were no records made of the Kages' Summit.

They were held, numerous times since the first one, but no one knew exactly how many times or what had been discussed in any of them. It was fully possible they had never been held in the same place twice, nor over the same subject more than once.

Except to the kages themselves, but that was probably something they would probably take to their graves.

A kage of one of the Great Shinobi Nations was allowed two bodyguards during the Summit.

Five kages, ten bodyguards, and a tiny room. A bit tense, in any estimation of the word.

This occasion the room was located in the Land of Iron. It was supposedly neutral ground, the ninja weren't supposed to enter or work within the borders of the country held by samurai. Panther had done an assassination here once, though. That didn't always mean it was neutral ground to shinobi.

Natsumi had a few bad moments, true, getting through the border and into the wintery tundra that marked Iron out from Fire Country.

Hiruzen and Minato had no issues, they probably didn't kill a visiting noble and escape in the ensuring aftermath. She found that a little unfair.

She did know a few of the bodyguards, amusingly enough. Han from Iwa, B and Nii from Kumo, Zabuza from Kiri, and Sasori from Suna.

Such a gathering of who's who in the Hidden Countries, it was a good thing they had a traditional total amnesty set for a week for this.

When the bodyguards were ensuring they approved of the little meeting room the most powerful leaders of the Hidden Countries would use to meet in, there was another bad moment when Jiraiya showed up with Kisame in tow.

The pint sized Yagura wasn't pleased at all to see one of his former shinobi standing in front of him. Old Ooniki accused Hiruzen of trying to sneak more ninja into the summit.

A and Satoshi merely watched.

The Toad Sage sharply bit out he was Hoshigaki's bodyguard for the duration of the summit, so all the old people please calm down. It wasn't good for their hearts. The sannin even tapped the hitai-ate he wore, which bore the oil symbol for Mount Myōbokuzan instead of the Konohagakure's leaf, claiming he was here as envoy of the Toad Summons and not as a sannin of the Leaf.

"Which brings us nicely to what I've summoned us together for." Hiruzen finished for his student, gesturing to the table their bodyguards had finished checking over repeatedly. "If we can be seated, this will take less time from running our villages."

Minato and Natsumi took up positions behind their Fire Shadow, mimicking the ninja the other kages had brought with them. B gave the Leopard Summoner a thumbs up as everyone else moved into positions, she rolled her eyes and pinched Minato when he glared in response. Sasori merely looked over at the movement, Han pinched his eyes closed for a moment. Zabuza just glowered at his former leader, she was pretty sure that was a default expression on him.

"Kisame-kun, since it was you who brought this problem to light for my shinobi, would you please report what you told us once before?"

Hoshigaki Kisame, who looked a little bluer and a whole lot better than the last time the assassin had seen him, nodded sharply once and only looked a bit bemused at the affectionate tag coming from the Fire Shadow.

"I was formerly a Kirigakure jōnin. Just before my defection, Yagura-sama requested to speak with me. He commended my loyalty, but given I had just killed several of my fellows and only one of who had been a traitor to the Mist, I was rather skeptical of the praise. Then I met someone who claimed to control-"

"This is a _farce_ , Hokage." Yagura interrupted sharply, giving the Fire Shadow a pink eyed glare from Water's corner of the room. "I am not being controlled."

"I find that statement fascinating, Mizukage, given that Kisame-kun had yet to claim that you were the one being controlled." Hiruzen observed pointedly. "So we are not the first to hold suspicion of your state of control?"

There was a beat of silence.

"The shinobi that claimed he controlled Yagura-sama claimed to be called Uchiha Madara." Kisame continued, almost in spite of the interruption. "Who had red eyes, and the Konoha shinobi I talked to had me confirm it was a sharingan I saw with one of their own Uchiha clan members."

"I've spoken to the current head of the Uchiha clan myself." Hiruzen added on, turning back to the other kages assembled. "He informed me there was only one way a sharingan could do that, and the last member of his clan that was known to have that feature was the founder of our village that betrayed us in the end. Someone saved Madara after our honorable Hashirama put him to death, that someone had let loose a shinobi who probably at this point is insane on our world."

Natsumi did a bit of thinking while the kages digested that and kept an eye on the pink eyed and now pinked faced Yagura.

Fugaku had been _appalled_ at the possibility of Madara being alive. His interest in chakra natures and jutsu use had eventually ended up in an interest in how his clan's sharingan worked. The whispered rumor of another stage after the three tomoe development had just enticed him more.

His findings had disgusted him.

Fugaku was a family man, through and through, the mere thought of murdering his own family just for power insulted his pride in his clan. He was a stilted, stiff man, true. A bit arrogant, but most noble shinobi clan ninja had that in some amount.

Mikoto loved him though, enough to break a friendship that had begun back in her academy days for her best friend questioning that. As a genjutsu mistress, the Matron of the Uchiha clan was very good a picking up subtle clues and making a solid and, more importantly, _correct_ convictions out of them. She was convinced her husband loved her and their child.

Fugaku's pride in Itachi's abilities was just that. Pride for his talented son expressed in a slightly stiff manner that made it seem awkwardly arrogant sometimes.

Natsumi had poked that enough to be as sure as Mikoto in that.

He could see a use for his dōjutsu's final evolution, in the tragedy of life and death sometimes people died. That didn't mean the mere idea of someone specifically going after the Eternal Mangekyō Sharingan by murdering their own family instead of gaining it when someone else murdered said family hadn't made him irate.

The head of the Uchiha clan was convinced the Mangekyō Sharingan was a thing of vengeance… and Fugaku had no need of vengeance.

Why should he? His clan and family were healthy and protected, his heir was widely acknowledge as a prodigy, he had a difficult but rewarding job entrusted to him, and the next Hokage counted him as a good friend.

Natsumi had been tickled pink to hear it, but she would still like to know who was trying to mislead the Uchiha so she could beat the stupidity out of them and slit their throat afterward.

"I refuse to take this insult to me or my village." Yagura spoke contemptuously, drawing himself up and standing from his chair. It didn't change his height much, and Natsumi pitted his child-sized body for that. "I am leaving."

"Go then. I find you suspicious and possibly compromised." Hiruzen countered calmly, gesturing to one of the many doors leading into the meeting room. "Know we will not rest until the truth of the matter is known."

The Mizukage glared in response, but swept out as haughtily as he could. Momochi gave Hoshigaki a confused look, but did follow his kage with the other bodyguard Natsumi didn't recognize.

"Hiruzen?"

"My apologies, but we do find this series of events suspicious." The Fire Shadow told the Wind Shadow in a pleasant tone of voice. "As the Tsuchikage can tell you, attacking Fire Country border posts is harder than it sounds. However, every month five to twenty Kirigakure shinobi attack one of our land bound posts. They are neither well equipped enough to succeed nor try to find different ways around, and they could easily using the coast if they wished to invite our wrath turning on them. Why it is done is something not even the shinobi we took hostage can tell us."

"Punishment?" A suggested dryly with a shrug of his massive shoulders.

"They can't tell us, Raikage. All they know, every time we try to investigate, is that they are to kill all the Konoha shinobi they find."

That got even Ōnoki's attention. "Can't or won't?"

He would know, Yamanaka clan had probably given him a migraine in mentally screwing over every Iwa-nin they could reach.

"Can't. By the time they reach us, they no longer know themselves." Hiruzen shrugged slightly himself. "I called us together to inform you all of the problem we may have before us. We, Konohagakure, will attempt to investigate ourselves if the Mizukage is no longer himself or never had been, and this sighting of one of the former founders of our village. As one of my best troubleshooters pointed out, if this is true and it gets out it may cause the nobles to become paranoid and the civilians to fear us even more. If it happened before it may happen to their own countries, they might try to systematically destroy the Hidden Villages before such a thing can reoccur if this is as bad as it seems. It might not happen, the longer we go without such a challenge the less likely it becomes. We would like to void it from ever happening regardless."

Satoshi inclined his hatless head in agreement. "We shall assist."

"Never liked the bloody bastards anyways." Ooniki grumped, glaring at Hiruzen from across the table. "If it'll get you off my doorstep, I won't interfere."

A merely shrugged again, pulling at his goatee thoughtfully. "You are closer, Hokage. We will only allow refugees to brave our shores unless your concern becomes groundless."

The Fire Shadow nodded once. "Then I call us to a close."

(ooo000ooo)

"B!" Natsumi grinned up at the jinchūriki, bouncing on her frozen feeling toes and ignoring her sensei snickering in the background. "My husband wants me to flirt back the next time we see each other, just so you know."

The rapping Kumo-nin _laughed_ , clapping his hands and rubbing them together… probably just for the warmth. "Sounds like a plan little neko-chan. But warning da B before such a scene probably wasn't so much of a thing as it seems."

"It'll be a few years at the earliest, we're trying for a kid." The assassin shrugged and clutched her arms to keep in what body heat she had. "You may just forget and I'll get you back for it that way. I still can't believe I fell for it."

"Aww… break my heart, even over a lark." B even clutched the spot over his heart, pouting at her. "Was almost wishing you'd agree then get free and come run away with me."

She grinned back at him after a delighted laugh.

"We need to _go_ , sempai." Minato cut in loudly, gripping Natsumi by the upper arm and glaring at the rapping ninja over her head. "Say goodbye to B-san, hopefully for the _last_ time. Yugito-san, always a pleasure."

The assassin rolled her eyes at him, but waved the Raikage A's bodyguard goodbye as she followed Minato back to where Hiruzen was waiting for them and the rest of the Konohagakure party.

Nii Yugito looked rather confused over the entire thing as B cheerfully waved back.

\V/

Minato had to wait six months for any further challenges for his position as Hiruzen's heir apparent before he could start training to take over for the Sarutobi clan head. Most of the shinobi that had reservations about him either corrected that in face of what he did to his first challenger or intended to get a private spar that wouldn't embarrass the hell out of them later.

In that half a year the jōnin ranks would reconvene again, but to vote at that time. If Minato didn't lose any of his challenges, or didn't withdraw himself from the candidacy, he would be confirmed as the future Yondaime Hokage and trained by the Sandaime to take over for him.

Within as little as a year and probably within two at most, Minato would be their kage.

This was a bit awkward, because this method had never needed to be done before. The first two Hokage had died in office, passing on the hat with only a few words given. Hiruzen was retiring, not dying, war or no this was the way the First had wanted the hat to change hands. Minato could change it later, if he wanted, but this had to be done at least once before Konohagakure would accept not doing it as the honorable Hashirama wanted it to go.

In the meantime Natsumi helped plan two weddings, one single one and a double.

Momo had hers and Mayuko's well in hand, and given the former ANBU espionage captain was a little bewildered at everything a clan head apparently went through to get hitched that was probably a good thing. The Nara clan's Lady merely allowed herself to be accessible for a part of her day so the civilian could get second opinions from her easily.

Kushina's and Minato's was what she spent the bulk of her time on.

Even with a hefty bride price paid by Natsumi to help offset the cost, the Whirlpool Princess eventually decided on a small wedding.

Neither the bride to be nor the groom had any immediate family in the village, just friends, so it worked for them.

Hiruzen was touched to be asked to officiate, Jiraiya and Tsunade would stand in as parents of them both, Inoichi would be best man, and although Mikoto and Kushina were talking again Natsumi got asked to be the Matron of Honor.

It might have been a small wedding done in the middle of war, but Kushina ensured it was as elaborate as she wanted it to be. She blew a good chunk on a wedding kimono alone and half of the entire bride price on reserving a location near the Fire Temple to hold it.

Natsumi didn't really give a damn, she had done it so Kushina and therefore Minato would be happy. If she thought it would help even more, she would have given the two of them the rest of her horded ANBU pay. Hammering that it wasn't really touched a lot through Minato's head might have been a little tricky, but explaining she never really used it unless she wanted something herself worked a bit.

She wanted them happy, their future Yondaime would just have to deal with her fussing over him and his bride.

Oddly, that made her brother shut up about it.

"You know… I kind of wonder what Fiona would think about this." Kushina told Natsumi softly as the assassin applied her makeup the morning of her wedding.

"Err… what I do."

They were in a small chamber off the entrance of the Temple itself, connected to the room they had slept in the night before. It was bare and minimalistic, but starkly beautiful in a way.

Natsumi's ass would still appreciate it if she could sleep in her own damn bed tonight. Ninja might be able to sleep anywhere, and on anything, but she preferred her own bed.

"You know what I mean. I wish I could meet her."

"You can."

Kushina went stock still and stared, the Leopard Summoner only noticed when she drew back to check the eyeliner she had applied.

"What?"

"You can do that?"

"What part of Kurama bastard child and reality affecting illusionary copy jutsu did you not understand?" She shrugged awkwardly. "I can make a copy of Fiona you can meet, but she's me so it won't really be her enough to actually be her and not me… if that made sense."

The Whirlpool Princess stared for another long moment, then carefully flailed her arms so she didn't knock her small store of makeup around. "What? Since when could you do that?"

"Umm… always? I mean… I learned about the Kurama thing when I was about fourteen and knew I could do the copy thing for sure about a year or so ago." Natsumi tugged one of her own braids, tucking it back up into the elaborate twist her heavy hair was in for the ceremony. "I just… I almost did it for Sakumo-taicho, but I decided against it because that would only hurt me in the end. It wouldn't be him, after all, only a fictional copy I created. That way lays madness, so… no. I might do it for Midori-chan, if she ever asks what her otou-sama was like… and no one else has asked me, so yeah…"

"Can we?"

"What?"

"Meet her, Fiona, you, whatever."

She blinked a few times, bemused. "Sure? It gives me a headache, though. After the ceremony."

"Minato too. And Jiraiya-sama. Inoichi might want to meet her, and your husband."

"She _won't_ be real, remember. Fiona was dead then turned into me, you can't really meet her." Setting the makeup down, the assassin shrugged again and got up to help Kushina navigate around in her wedding kimono. "But whatever you want, hime."

Kushina nodded as she was hauled upright, blinking a few times to keep her makeup from getting streaked with tear tracks. "You are fantastic, Natsumi. Like the best kaa-chan, ba-chan, _baa_ -chan, and nee-chan all rolled into one person."

"Thanks… I think." Natsumi informed her dryly, checking to ensure the Uzumaki was assembled properly. "I've a question, however."

"What?"

"Are you becoming a Namikaze or is Minato becoming an Uzumaki?"

The redhead blinked, then smiled softly in pleased remembrance. "Did we never tell you? I am remaining an Uzumaki but our children will be Namikaze. There's a bit of a precedent to it in the village already, honorable Mito-baa-sama kept her clan's name when she married into the Senju clan but her children held her honorable husband's name instead. Minato is considered to be the head of his own clan now that he's probably going to be Hokage in as little as half a year. I would rather my children grow up Namikaze and decide for themselves later if they wished to uphold the Uzumaki name either instead or as well."

The ANBU captain only nodded, gesturing to the Fire Temple's chamber door for Kushina to proceed her out. Namikaze Naruto, then, at least at first.

She could see it, the only thing the Uzumaki name had given Kushina was a few kidnapping attempts and occasional thinly veiled suggestions that she should give up being kunoichi entirely and rebuild the clan for Konoha. Those had always made her either irritable or depressed, depending on who said it. The woman was proud of being an Uzumaki, true, but she probably didn't want her own children to have to struggle against that expectation to become their own ninja or person.

Namikaze might inspire fear now, in Iwa if nowhere else, but it didn't cause nearly as much as Uzumaki did through the Hidden Countries.

There would still be kidnapping attempts, either way.

(ooo000ooo)

The Fire Temple had great walls that enclosed it, even on the three sides that faced the mountains it was protected by. There was a field on the southern face, ringed by trees that started the famed Hashirama tree forest that protected and sheltered the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

Kushina chose a spot in the field closest to the forest, the temple behind the wedding party and a nearly ancient Hashirama tree that might have actually been the first one grown by their First Hokage where Hiruzen stood.

It looked more like a pine tree that had maple leaves than a maple tree that didn't care if it was bitterly cold or snowing, which was why Natsumi thought that.

Hashirama trees liked to defy winter and laugh in the face of fall. It was why they were known as the Village Hidden in the Leaves and not the Village Hidden in the Woods.

The wedding was over with quick, the Sandaime might now have a successor but he was still their Hokage for a little while longer yet and had his own work to do.

The ninja that had gathered in the field left shortly afterward to change out of their finery and then either left to return to the village or lingered a bit longer with the newly wedded Namikaze-Uzumaki couple.

From Minato's rather confused look, his hime probably hadn't informed him what Natsumi offered to do.

His face when Fiona's image appeared before him amused the assassin.

Then she blinked and took another look.

Screw Mayuko _looking_ like a female Minato, Fiona looked like she could be his _mother_.

The soldier's image, dressed in American military ACUs because she had practically lived in them for almost ten years before she died, stood only a few inches shorter than Minato. She also had short cropped blonde hair, if you ignored that hers was a sandy color and his almost acid yellow they both looked to have the same texture, and green eyes instead of blue. Their facial features alone, though, made one think they were related and not two strangers that lived in times vastly different.

Minato and Fiona had the same eye shape, if not color, and similar cheekbones.

"Huh…" Natsumi blinked a few more times, ignoring the throbbing sensation starting up behind her right eye, but the soldier's familiar features didn't stop looking like a feminine Minato. "Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina, meet Hanson Fiona."

Shikaku studied the image, giving her a strange look. All she could do was shrug, because that was Fiona and her brother did look a bit like her.

The Toad Sage looked between an almost shell shocked future Yondaime and the image of a dead woman, then threw his arms around the both of them and only slightly jerked when the image moved with his motion. "Aw… it's almost like a family reunion."

Fiona suddenly blinked, causing the white haired sannin to release her quickly.

Then the dead woman smirked and looked straight at the assassin's brother in all but blood. "About time you made an honest woman of the hime, kid."

Natsumi snickered, pressing the heel of a hand to her right eye.

Minato spluttered, still staring, as Jiraiya gaped.

Fiona crossed her illusionary arms under her chest, standing hipshot like she had when listening to the lower ranking soldiers she had worked with. "If I were real, I'd smack you for taking so long in getting hitched. I blame your father, he was never really good a paying child support on time either and fuck knows he never proposed."

Jiraiya burst out laughing at the dead soldier's quip, smacking the future Yondaime on the back hard enough to stagger him forward somewhat.

"Alright… I can see you in her, sempai." Minato blinked a few times, but kept on staring at the dead woman.

"That's… very detailed, Natsumi."

The assassin shrugged in response to Inoichi's observation. "It was me, once upon a time. I can't know Fiona's mannerisms any better than I already do. It makes it easier in a way."

"Are you alright?" Shikaku ignored the alternate image of his wife, as it was an illusion and the real version looked to be in a bit of pain.

"Mmm… I can't do this for long, hubby mine. Copying Koharu-sama for just an hour gave me a migraine for days, but I won't keep her here much longer."

"Just a bit longer, Natsumi." Kushina asked quietly, taking a deep breath.

Then she lunged at the soldier's image, hugging the copy around the waist.

Natsumi blinked a few times, then Fiona returned the hug. "Take care of him for me, hime."

"I will, thank you."

"I'm not the one you should be thanking." The dead woman replied, sounding amused.

Kushina laughed a bit wetly, backing away once she was let go.

Fiona looked at a much recovered Minato. "What, no hug for me?"

"This… is awesome, sempai." He finally spoke, shaking his head and giving the copy a hug anyways. "Creepy, but awesome."

Natsumi and her alternate image shrugged at the same time.

"Well, yeah. She's _dead_ , Minato."

Fiona shrugged again, as if to imply she didn't care she was creepy _or_ dead, then saluted everyone and disappeared.

The assassin blinked a few times as the pain behind her green eye subsided into an aching sensation.

That last shrug… the salute? That hadn't been her controlling the image, she let it go after Minato released the copy and she reminded everyone that the woman was dead.

Fiona had moved on her own.

\V/

Natsumi found it exasperating, how little time she had to herself lately.

Yeah, normally she loved socializing with her small circle of friends.

This though? Was ridiculous in spades.

She would very much like the time to herself to ensure she hadn't be hallucinating Fiona moving on her own, thank you very much, but no one wanted to give her the time to do it in. She could have been wrong and it was just half forgotten habit that Fiona's image had shrugged and saluted by, but she would like to know for sure.

It was entirely possible old habits had just made it seem that way… right?

Though she had no idea what to do if Fiona wasn't quite as dead as she had believed her to be.

Herself to be?

Err… one of those two.

Natsumi had a husband that liked lazing about if he had nothing else to do; soon to be fellow clan head wives asking for her opinion on a wedding; a brother going through the mini fighting part of being newly married; four chūnin to manage; her own ANBU captain's work and sometimes a part of the Bear-samas'; the academy's next head to train up; and all the rest of the little details she had to manage or the issues that popped up and she gave attention to.

She was almost tempted to pop smoke and disappear for a few good hours, but that would alarm the Nara clan, ANBU, and the Uchihas all at the same time. Stag alone would hunt her down in under an hour, Minato had given up trying to keep up with her after the Danzō situation and had inked a hiraishin seal to the back of her left shoulder blade he would use if Shikaku ever asked.

Trying to find the time to figure out if a dead woman was really dead or not shouldn't be this hard.

Mebuki was the latest person through the Nara clan head's home's back door, and the blond former kunoichi threw herself into the assassin's arms. "I'm pregnant!"

The jōnin kunoichi in the kitchen blinked. _Sakura_. "Really? I told you a bit less stress would help."

"Yeah, I know. Thank you. I had almost given up on having a kid, we've been trying for two years." Mebuki cradled her lower belly, ecstatic and pleased all at once. "Kizashi _keeled_ over, he was so surprised."

Natsumi snorted at the mental image of the redheaded trap specialist jōnin hitting the ground pale as snow. "Men. Ah well."

"Oh… you're going to have to finish teaching Gai-kun your kaa-san's taijutsu. The medics want me to take it as easy as I can, especially since conceiving was this hard. Teaching a chūnin that might get a lucky hit in isn't their idea of easy, apparently."

The assassin winced and mentally added it to the list of things she had to do still. "Will do… but damn if I can figure the time for it… fuck. Tell him, the next time you see him, to meet up with me an hour before dawn. I do my conditioning then, I can teach him instead for a month or two every other day."

The blonde blinked at her a few times. "But… you're a _Nara_."

"I go back to sleep afterwards, more often if my husband is home than not."

Mebuki nodded with a relieved little smile, as if that corrected whatever was wrong with a Nara getting up before the sun.

Natsumi rolled her eyes. She was not _that_ lazy.

Jiraiya stuck his head into her open kitchen window. "Got a moment, neko-chan?"

The assassin huffed a laugh. "Possibly. Mebuki?"

"I'm good. Thank you, again. Both for the advice and letting me talk your ear off whenever I want." She grinned up at the jōnin that nominated her out of the Chūnin Corps and then bowed slightly to the other kunoichi's sensei. "Jiraiya-sama, excuse me."

The Toad Sage actually had to go around to the door anyways, as good as he was he couldn't get through a half opened window over the assassin's sink, so the blonde former kunoichi managed to leave before the sannin handed over a letter to his former student. "Konan-chan would like your advice on something."

She thumbed the letter open, rubbing her right temple in exasperation. Natsumi didn't mind the letter exchange the two kunoichi students of Jiraiya's had started up earlier in the year, Konan sounded like a slightly reserved kunoichi with a sadistic side she would love to actually get to know; but she also had the habit of asking a few questions about rebuilding Amegakure no Sato that teased the Leopard Summoner's interest in why that was needed.

The Ame Orphans _were_ building a Hidden Village from almost scratch, which was fascinating to her. The occasional updates about how Kisame was doing were interesting too.

"I'd advise the former option rather than the latter, if she has to pick between them. The former will be there for years, the latter will disappear in a few months and probably never go back to Rain. Might be lean for a few, but it will help longer than the latter option."

He nodded, wandering back out probably to write that down and send back with his Toads. Natsumi still had the rest of the letter to read before she wrote a reply herself.

"Natsu?"

Shikaku blinked when his wife whirled on him and brandished a letter under his jaw like she would a sword.

"No, you know what? Go get a job, damn it. I'm tired of being the only one working most days."

He huffed, mouth twitching up to a grin as he used the doorway into the hall as a backrest. "Bit busy, wife mine?"

She sighed heavily, tossing her partially read letter to the kitchen table. "This is… just a bit much."

"It'll get better, you know it. In a week or two you'll be despairing that no one ever visits you." Shikaku drew her into a hug and patted her on the back. "Not what I came in for, though."

Natsumi knocked her forehead into his collarbone. "What?"

"Do you want to go out to eat lunch? I don't think you'll actually get time to fix it yourself today, wife mine."

She snickered weakly, rubbing her face into his chest as he started kneading her tensed back. "We go out, Momo will know in an instant and insist on us eating with them."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Three… no, five words Shika. She's. Planning. A. Double. Wedding."

"That was technically five and a half."

"Whatever." Natsumi drew back far enough to smirk up at him. "I noted you didn't insist."

"Well… after suffering through Kushina's planning I'm just happy we got it out of the way years ago, Natsu."

"You lazy _ass_."

"You married me, I'm your lazy ass."

She opened her mouth to reply to that, but one of the compound guards knocked on the back door. "Natsumi-sama? Misaki-sama went into labor, you said you wanted to know the moment we heard."

Natsumi blinked and nodded to the young Nara, then glanced to the calendar Minato bought her every year and she stuck somewhere she saw most days.

The third of July was Neji's birthday, apparently.

"Do I have to?"

"Have to what?"

"Get a job." Shikaku clarified, freeing a hand to rub his scruffy jawline. "I have one, right?"

She was silent a long moment, thinking. "Taicho _hated_ leaving Eri-kaa-chan and Kashi-chan, Shika. It was probably one of his biggest regrets, going back to active duty three months after his both of his children's births. I would dearly prefer you home and able to witness any of our children's firsts, husband mine, not out stalking some target for Intelligence. You don't have to, true. I'll have what amounts to a twenty four hour, seven days a week job that probably can be done from anywhere in the village just as well from the look of it."

He hummed instead of commenting.

"Go ask Shikai-tou-sama, see what he says. I won't demand it, because it would probably make you resent me and I want you to be happy, but…"

"You would be happy with me home more often." Shikaku finished for her when she trailed off.

"Yeah… I'm a selfish, jealous bitch. I want you, I want two children, and I want us all together for as long as possible." Natsumi thought about it, but shrugged in the end and tacked something else on. "And our friends think I'm a moody bitch right after you and your team leaves. You stop leaving me home alone and they might just worship at your feet for a few years."

Snorting, he squeezed her lightly. "There's motivation for just about anything if I ever heard it, wife mine. I'll think about it."

"Thank you." She pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw.

"We're going to have to brave Momo-chan's frantic wedding planning, aren't we?"

"Well… yes. If you wanted me to make you lunch, you should've avoided distracting me."

Natsumi glanced back at her calendar, thinking, while Shikaku went to fetch their sandals. She had the time to think, if only a few minutes, so she thought over the things confusing her while she waited.

Fiona was… not quite dead. Possibly.

Well… she _had_ to be dead… right?

The injuries she sustained alone were lethal, Natsumi knew that personally from frequent nightmares of how the soldier had died.

Fiona _had to be_ dead.

However… if she had only just be dead physically then…

Komushi's throw away comment about having two spirits looking through her eyes might not be as funny as she thought it had been at first.

Summoning an image of the dead woman hadn't helped any of the times she had tried for the short moments she could. Natsumi's own expectations were getting in the way of that to the point creating a copy illusion was just giving her both a headache and a migraine trying to get an illusion to talk against it's will.

If it had will, that was.

The question, since that wasn't an option that would work, was if Fiona was her or not. She had the soldier's memories, some of her skills, and a few tics unique to her. That didn't necessarily mean the soldier wasn't her, but it didn't mean she was either.

It would explain Natsumi's quirky Yin Releases, if the dead soldier was a symptom of her Kurama blood.

Fiona could probably control that, what would she do if she didn't agree to what she was doing?

Wow… that didn't remotely make sense.

…was Fiona an alternate personality formed because she held a version of the Kurama kekkai genkai or was as real as Natsumi had assumed for years?

She wanted to believe the latter, simply because of an alternate version of her life Fiona knew of and she used to help navigate this world. The former was possible though, and the clan itself admitted it easily enough if asked about it's kekkai genkai. Alter egos that could affect reality were symptoms of the Kurama blood limit, Natsumi had known she could do the reality affecting but wrote her reincarnation from Fiona off as just a quirk of her bastard blood.

However, according to that story she knew Minato had been Hokage for a year before Madara came after the hime and her child. It wasn't going to be in her life here, Naruto would be born only half a year or less into his father's reign as the Fire Shadow if everything went to plan. Was that caused by something she did?

…was she affecting the reality around her to coincide with an imagined storyline?

There was a sharp pain that suddenly throbbed behind her right eye, enough to make Natsumi wince as a rather vicious headache started up.

Apparently Fiona didn't like that idea.

The ANBU captain snorted at her own foolishness, rubbing at that ache behind her eye probably caused by worrying the same problem around her head for months and abusing a jutsu she swore she wasn't going to do on Sakumo's grave.

There had to be a limit on the Kurama kekkai genkai, there wasn't any way one person could affect multiple things across something as big as the Hidden Countries. Within that range, there had to be another limit on what one Kurama could do. They hadn't taken over the world or anything yet, which if they could manipulate the world at a whim they would have done it already just because humans could be that foolish and greedy.

To top it off, what she told Shikaku years ago was still true. If Fiona was imaginary her life wouldn't have been as occasionally dull or ended as painfully as it had. Even a child didn't have the imagination to dream that up in complete detail like Natsumi could recall, and she could recall it well before she became aware enough of the world around her to mimic or copy things. Certainly well before she could understand it all even with her intuition pulling it all apart and putting it back together. There had been completely separate languages she had pulled from that, that wasn't an elaborate quirk of her mind.

Inoichi had been convinced, and he had been trained to investigate things like that well before the first and only foray through her head.

No, Natsumi didn't believe she was insane. A bit crazy, yeah, but that was forgivable in her personal opinion.

She was, unfortunately, a bit more of a Kurama than she ever wished to be.

That alternate story she had? That was already shattered into little pieces and stomped on repeatedly. For the kami's sake alone, the war with Iwa started _two years late_. It probably ended a bit early too, and they had Sakumo for most of it even if both he and Orochimaru had been killed in the time the worst of the war spanned.

Sunagakure were staunch allies of Konohagakure as well, Sasori still wrote her letters and whacked Komushi upside the head to do the same sometimes.

There was probably a lot more Leaf ninja alive this time around, too. With only one front of the war to focus on, because Kumo decided to wait it all out, there had to have been less deaths overall even if you discounted the suicide run through Grass into Earth.

For the million ryo question, would Madara brave that again if the Leaf wasn't so hammered or war weary and Konoha was attempting to pry into Kiri after him?

Natsumi rubbed her face with the palm of one hand, staring out at the late summer sky over the Nara forest visible from her kitchen window.

Possibly. She wasn't going to sit on her ass and let him, though.

She was an elite kunoichi assassin that specialized in security seals, the more lethal the better. The sharingan could copy jutsus in a whirl of red color, but she was pretty damn sure fūinjutsu was a bit outside that eye's copying capabilities or the entire Uchiha clan would have that as a specialization. Even if Natsumi was unable to lay a seal down herself that still left Minato, Jiraiya, and Ibiki available to ink any seal she created for a certain hime's birthing process.

Now, where did her fūinjutsu supplies get to?

No, she didn't know why Shikaku came back with her ninja sandals and warily eyed her smile either.

\V/

"This is the last time I can go with you, Mongoose. Make it count."

"Will do, taicho." The saboteur hesitated instead of immediately darting off, tilting his mask in her direction. "Thanks Panther-sama, for all of it."

"Go."

The captain watched her rookie silently disappear into the compound's streets with nearly complete ease.

Sarutobi Koichi was seventeen, ANBU saboteur more than halfway through his life expectancy, and would qualify for ANBU captain or another career change in as little as three to five months.

Panther couldn't take him any farther, the rest was up to him. This was her last ANBU mission.

\V/

"I'm sorry!"

"Momo, calm down."

"But… but your husband's plan."

"Momo, calm down. Shika's plan is still on, don't worry. It's not good for the baby."

Chouji was a very impatient Akimichi, apparently. Conceived out of wedlock, too. Momo's parents were probably _appalled_.

Natsumi really tried not to smirk over that thought, she did. After all the grief they gave Chouza's future wife about her former living arrangement, though?

Sucks to be them.

"We have half a year, me and Mayuko, to catch up. We already gave up our birth control, there is still time. Relax, Momo. It's fine." The former assassin joined the former spy in patting the civilian on the back, as if the patting would prevent any more panic from coming out the soon to be Akimichi. "But… we should maybe hold the wedding before you get too big for your kaa-san's wedding kimono."

Momo looked horrified at the mere thought, and clutched the Nara's kitchen table in a desperate grip.

"Autumn is a very traditional season to get married in." Natsumi hurried to add before the poor girl burst into more tears. "I got married in the autumn, Momo. We can hold it on my anniversary and celebrate together every year, how about that?"

Mayuko nodded rapidly in agreement and tried a gentle hug instead of continuing to pat. "That sounds lovely, Natsumi, thank you. I like the idea of an autumn wedding. What about you, Momo?"

"Really? Can we?"

"Of course, I would love to share that day with the two of you. Just know Shika's a bit lazy, it takes a bit to get him out of the house even if it is our anniversary."

"Well… your husband is a Nara, Natsumi." Momo patted her on the hand, as if she needed to give the newly retired ANBU captain sympathy before she burst into tears.

Even Mayuko looked bewildered at the sudden mood swing from almost blind panic to comforting girlfriend.

Natsumi could even feel the three men listening in from the hallway to see when the coast was clear practically radiate their confusion over it.

Pregnancy hormones, they baffled even _other_ women.

\V/

"What the _hell_ , woman?"

Mikoto winced and gave a sheepish looking smile. "Sorry?"

Natsumi drew a hand down her face and sighed, exasperated.

Did one of Koichi's fellow if foreign saboteurs screw up the anti-pregnancy pill stock the Hospital had or something? That was Tsume and now Mikoto down this month, the kunoichi around her were dropping like flies.

Sasuke apparently didn't like the idea of his mother teaching a genin team.

Kiba apparently just wanted to screw with his mother, Tsume was stumped at how she got pregnant again even with her birth-control still being taken. It wasn't even the medics that caught Kiba's conception, Kuromaru had to tell Tsume she was pupped again. The Inuzuka alpha swore she was giving up men after Kiba's birth.

"Okay… look. You have an option of giving them up, but you probably won't get them back as is if you come back to teach them afterwards. Otherwise you need to arrange another jōnin to take over for you while you can't do ninja work."

The Nara scowled at her own desk, she had been only weeks from giving up the academy oversight position to one of her chūnin Nara instructors. Tenzou couldn't afford getting passed around like that, or the attention this would heap on him.

"I used Tsume for my first deployment, but Minato opted to have Kakashi lead when he left them that first time. Given that one student you have," the Uchiha genjutsu mistress nodded when Natsumi paused, "you can't afford those options. So… do you want to keep them?"

"Please."

Well, that made this tricky. "You have, what, three months before you are restricted from chakra use?"

"Four, actually. A second pregnancy is easier than the first."

She sighed, wracking her mind on how to help her manage a genin team and her pregnancy at the same time. "Arrange secondary specializations with the other two for the last five months. I'll handle Tenzou-kun's secondary, body guarding with a shinobi I know. But you'll need someone to lead missions for all of it, Mikoto."

Anko and Iruka were what? Precision throwing senbon specialist and a trap specialist.

"Poisons and probably… what's Iruka-kun like?"

"He's very sweet, but has a bit of a temper and a troublemaking side to him."

He became an academy instructor in another life, right?

"Send him to Intelligence, my Ibiki will take him on a bit for you."

Psychology, always useful.

Mikoto gave Natsumi a relieved smile. "I was almost afraid this would prevent me from keeping them."

"Those gakis are _yours_ , Mikoto. Until they make chūnin and you decide to let them go or you die. They'll never have another jōnin-sensei quite as special as their first one."

"That… sounds nice, actually. A bit morbid, but nice."

"Remember what you're talking to."

A former assassin with a bleeding heart. Natsumi was a bit morbid in nature, apparently.

\V/

She thought, at first, she had gotten the flu or just a cold.

It was the start of the winter season, it was possible. Ninja didn't get sick often, they had very healthy habits and when it came to the immune system they tended to be stronger than civilians' were, so what did knock them on their asses had to be serious or sabotage in the shape of poisons.

Morning sickness her _ass_. It was more of an every night for two weeks sickness and a generally crummy feeling all day that made her grouchy.

Hence the confusion over the flu.

Shikaku argued for Shia to come around and check her after the first week of feeling sick, Natsumi had an intense dislike for bothering medics unless it was necessary and snapped that she didn't have to. Minato had to come around and fuss at her to go see a medic the second week, and the man was insanely busy learning the ropes of being a Fire Shadow even if the voting was still a month away. Then Kushina volunteered to get a checkup too, why not? She was here and it needed to be done anyways.

She had rolled her eyes at all of them but caved in and the Nara clan head went to fetch the former assassin's favorite chūnin medic.

Natsumi and Kushina learned they were both pregnant at the same time.

Shikaku fell on his ass gaping at the smug Shia who announced it.

Minato palled and almost fell into the Nara's book and scroll case as he staggered.

Kushina almost screamed Natsumi's ear off before lunging for her husband, but that didn't even budge the shocked bastard Kurama.

She returned to reality sharply when Shikaku seized her and lifted her up in a rather desperate hug. "I'll get a job, I swear."

"I'm pregnant." Repeated the kunoichi Nara a little inanely, a small smile starting on her lips. "I'm _pregnant_ , Shika! No wonder I'm so tired all the time, the gaki's a _Nara_."

He looked a cross between stunned and smug, a rather stupid looking smirk on his face. "Well… yeah. Didn't anyone tell you all Naras are lazy?"

Natsumi laughed, more out of a shocked kind of hilarity than any real amusement, then looked around.

Shia was missing, probably gone to spread the news of the Nara clan's new heir. Kushina was all but bawling into Minato's chest as the blond hugged her back fiercely.

The former assassin turned back to her own husband, feeling a creeping kind of thrilling happiness seeping through her. "You poor, poor man. I'm not really sorry, but holy hell."

Blinking, Shikaku looked down at her. "What?"

"That's me, the hime, Momo, Mikoto, Tsume, and I'd lay good odds if I'm pregnant than Mayuko either is or will be shortly." Natsumi patted him on the chest, snickering even with this thought running through her head. "Six pregnant kunoichi, sitting in a tea party. Seven, if you want to count Mebuki even if she is retired. You… I love you dearly, husband mine, but when I hold a tea party you might want to make yourself scarce for a bit longer than you usually do."

"Wife of mine, that is _mean_." He shoved a hand through his hair, snapping the tie thoughtlessly. "I… can I beg you to change where you hold those? Please? I'll do anything."

"Anything, huh?" She teased, threading her own fingers through his now loose hair. "Mmmm, wonder what I should do with that? You know if I change up where we meet, the other men involved might not appreciate it, right?"

"I'm fully aware I'm throwing them to the wolves, yes." Shikaku dropped to his knees and kept hugging her, this time looking up at her instead of her looking up at him. "Don't care. Have pity, Natsu. I'm your beloved husband and I love you."

"And the mother of your child."

That made him grin like a fool all over again. "And the mother of my child."

"Fine, I'll suggest it. That won't mean the next one or the one after will be elsewhere, but if I offer to bring the tea they might accept." Natsumi kept combing his hair with her fingers, unable to rid herself of her own stupid smirk. "But I will be calling in that promise of anything, hubby mine."

"At this point? I really don't care, Natsu."

She snorted, then had to release her husband to accept Kushina's ecstatic hug next.

The redhead drew back, beaming enough to crack her face wide open. "Be godmother?"

"Me?" Natsumi rapidly blinked. "I thought Mikoto-"

The Uzumaki kunoichi smiled a bit less at that reminder, rubbing some of the tear tracks off her face. "We're not quite there yet, she can have the next kid."

Blinking, the Leopard Summoner could only shrug. "If you'll have me, then yeah. Minato owes me his firstborn anyways."

Kushina blinked herself, giving her husband a questioning look over one shoulder.

Minato rapidly waved his hands in front of him in denial, only to pause in confusion. "I do not! I _swear_ … I think. Sempai?"

"I will accept this in lieu of actual baby, sure." She grinned at his exasperated sigh over her antics. "Now to complete this sappy moment, godfather?"

"Always, sempai." Even he had to grin at that.

(ooo000ooo)

The second thing Natsumi did, after getting Minato to swear to cut her off from the hiraishin seals because teleporting when pregnant didn't even remotely sound like a good idea, was Summon her Leopards into her backyard.

Kenta, her beloved first Summons she trained up herself, was appalled. "You're _breeding?_ Since when is this allowed?"

She had to snicker at him. "You idiot. Kenta, I have a _mate_. Breeding usually happens after that."

"You've had a mate for years. You didn't do this then." He poked her in the stomach with his nose as he sniffed a few times, then slumped down to her feet in a feline version of a mope. "You _are_ breeding, great. Another kitten that will try for my whiskers."

"Tou-san, enough." Akira bumped her father away from their Summoner, crowding him out to smooth the side of her muzzle against the kunoichi's hand. "Congratulations, Natsumi-sama. I hope the cub will be born healthy and strong."

"Thanks, Akira-chan." Natsumi scratched her youngest Leopard behind the ears, amused at the purr. "I need volunteers, I won't be able to fight or Summon while pregnant. So I need a guard or two."

The Contract they had signed might use her chakra to maintain a teleportation spot open in both Natsumi's location and their home territory, but that was ambient rather than intent based chakra use. It was allowed, in other words, according to Tsunade. She had the chakra regeneration for one or two indefinitely, but not the reserves to Summon then support them all for an hour.

Ling-Ling looked sorely tempted to linger around for the Summoner's kitten's birth, but she had her own kittens to tend to and teach. Tsuyoshi looked a little reluctant given the position of his furry ears, he was more comfortable fighting than guarding.

Jin technically wasn't one of her Summons, he was only there to report back what was going on with the Leopard's Summoner and why she would be missing another of her contracted teaching jobs. This hiatus was already covered though, long before when Natsumi first signed their Contract.

Kenta heaved another sigh, ignoring his daughter batting at his tail in response for giving their human grief about her pregnant state. "Natsumi-sama, you are lucky we love you."

"Yes, yes I am." Natsumi scratched him behind the ears too, partially in thanks. "But you know my mate, Kenta. Our kitten might end up as lazy as he is."

"Or the kitten might just end up as mischievous as you." The oldest of her Summons retorted quickly, not jerking away from the contact even so. "We've already seen that in the shiny kittens."

"Well… that's not entirely my fault. They're the Dog's puppies."

Akira clawed at Kenta's ear, ignoring his hiss for drawing blood. "Give us a few hours, Natsumi-sama. Then Summon me and tou-san again. We will guard you."

Natsumi nodded, leaning back against the backyard porch as her Summons dismissed themselves to spread the news to the Leopard Clan.

Shikaku would be missing for a few hours, he had gone to fetch Shia and pull his wife from the active duty lists. Minato had taken Kushina home, and would probably be distracted for a few himself removing Natsumi's access to his seals all around Konohagakure.

She had a few minutes, at least, before Shikaku got back or her in-laws stormed the house.

Natsumi snickered at her own thought, hugging herself around the middle.

She was going to be a _mother_.

\V/

"This… cannot be normal. Or healthy." One irate Leopard Summoner turned to the medic that had just finished inspecting her health and the infinitesimal baby in her. "Tsunade-sama, I _jiggle_."

"Yes, yes you do."

"I have a belly! I'm not supposed to have a belly yet!"

"It's cute, like the little potbelly on some of the civilian women."

Natsumi glared in return for that observation.

"Little shadow, it's healthy. _You_ are healthy. You're even ten pounds lighter than I'd want you to be at this point." The medical specializing sannin shrugged, smirking and not bothering to hide it. "You've got a small frame, though. Obviously all that weight had to go somewhere, and on you it just turned into belly fat."

The former assassin whined in the back of her throat, turning back to the mirror in the examination room.

She had nearly kicked Shikaku in the head for mentioning she was getting heavy, but it turns out she owed him an apology for that.

Natsumi was _fat_ , and her belly wasn't supposed to be showing yet. It had only been a month since Shia told her she was pregnant.

"Neko-chan, relax. You'll lose it again when the baby is born, for now just put up with it." Tsunade patted the physically younger kunoichi on the back and handed her back her tank top. "It's normal and healthy, you lose it before I say you can I'll be annoyed with you enough to demand weekly checkups."

Sighing, she pulled her tank top back over her stupid overly sensitive chest. That felt weird, in spades. "It's… _disturbing_ , though. That didn't happen to me before this. Jiggles. Eww. I mean… my chest bounced a whole lot when I didn't bind it, I got used to that. My belly though? Thighs, they're doing it too!"

"Your belly shouldn't be bouncing, little shadow. Not taking it as easy as a pregnant kunoichi should. You haven't been jumping roofs, have you? The jolts caused on impact isn't good for you or the baby. _Moderate_ exercise, or I will put you on bed rest."

"It bounces when I _run_ , Tsunade-sama. Sometimes when I walk."

"Mmm… I see your point." The Slug Princess still shook her head. "Keep the belly, medic's orders."

Natsumi huffed, snagging her kimono like clan jacket off the medic's stool to put on again. "I thought the body image issues weren't until much later."

"Surprise, you've got them early." Tsunade checked over her notations to the ex-assassin's medical file, snorting at the blackouts that marred most of it. "Little shadow… I would like it if you came in at least twice a month for checkups."

"What? Why?"

"Can you tell if you're hungry?" Asked the sannin archly, writing out a prescription for prenatal vitamins and folic acid Natsumi recognized from Tsume and Mikoto's first children. "I would like to be paranoid and have you and your baby be healthy rather than not and you lose it. There is no telling if the cravings, damnably confusing things those, will hit to tell you that you need to eat a bit more or not."

She froze, a trickle of horror sliding down her spine. "Is that a concern?"

"You've been good about eating now that you realized you weren't occasionally, true. But still."

"Alright then."

Tsunade blinked at the easily given agreement, suspicious. "Really?"

"I'll even let you tell Shika I need to. Tsunade-sama, I want this baby. If that means bugging your medics even when I don't think I should have to I will."

Natsumi was a bit notorious for avoiding medics.

Both sannin knew of her inability to keep track of dates, only days, and knew if a reminder wasn't spoken to her she tended to forget. Half the time it was the Leopard Summoner not realizing she should have gone in to the Hospital for a double check and half because she got an ANBU medic to do it instead and either failed to inform the original medic that healed her in time or forgot in the press of things she did daily once it was taken care of.

The Slug Princess had allowed that to continue because it was half her own medics' damn fault for not giving that reminder and half ANBU itself that caused that problem.

Tsunade fiddled with her pen for a moment.

Natsumi was distracted enough to linger a bit, wishing she knew who had reinvented the ever so lovely pen so she could kiss them. Even if Shikaku might kill them for her doing that.

"How's the little experiment gaki doing?"

Blinking, the kenjutsu specializing kunoichi gave the other medic kunoichi a confused look. "Tenzou-kun? Okay, I guess. A genin team isn't quite what he thought it was going to be, but he maintains that it's better than he ever expected he'd get."

Tsunade grimaced. She had supported the assassin's argument against sticking both survivors of Orochimaru's experimentation into ANBU the moment they were even partially trained, even if she couldn't really look at Tenzou full in the face.

Natsumi was suspicious she wasn't the only one harboring a bit of guilt over that.

Orochimaru had been the Slug Princess' teammate, Tenzou had ended up with the Senju clan's Mokuton kekkai genkai because of it.

"Tell him, if he wants, I'll agree to give him the Senju clan name. He's earned it in a way. Jiji-sama always wanted to pass it on, but baa-chan's Uzumaki genes surpassed his."

The ex-ANBU captain gaped at the offer. "Tsunade-sama, you can barely _look_ at him."

"I'll get over it, avoiding the problem isn't helping." Snorting, the sannin threw the updated file closed and onto the desk. "He'll be mine if he agrees, mine and Jiraiya's."

Natsumi had to sit down quickly.

"Oh, don't look at me like that. The pervert agreed to it."

"That's… okay, so not the problem." She rebooted her mind, even if it had been blown. It had been nearly six years since Tenzou and his sister/fellow experiment had been found, she hadn't ever expected this. "Are… are you sure? I mean, I helped raise them. They're a matched pair, practically. Tenzou-kun won't agree without Naomi-chan. Ito's not going to be happy, he's practically their tou-chan."

"I know. At the time, I just wanted to forget that rat bastard did anything like that in the first place. It wasn't bad enough he had used some of my own medical techniques, but robbing my jiji-sama's grave?" Tsunade gripped one of the ponytails her hair was in, scowling at the wall rather fiercely as she tugged her hair and then let go. "I know I won't be their kaa-san, I'm pretty alright with that. But I can help you protect them, from the attention what that asshole did to them."

Huh… Tsunade had an avoidance problem, didn't she?

Natsumi probably should've expected this somewhat.

Still…

"I'll tell him, but it's up to him and Naomi-chan."

"She wants to be a medic, doesn't she?" Shrugging again, the sannin gave the former assassin a slightly bitter smirk. "I can help her there at least. Jiraiya might have to deal more with Tenzou-kun than me at first, until I know I won't flinch."

She nodded in return, getting up and wandering out when Tsunade waved her as free to go.

Was this… because she had arranged Tenzou some time as a genin, or in spite of?

Both sannin had to have caught glimpse of him a few times, it had almost been a year since the Mokuton user got his team under Mikoto. D-ranks were done all over the village, it was pretty easy to spot the genin teams laboring under a jōnin's sharp eyes.

(ooo000ooo)

Tenzou's face went alarmingly blank for a long moment.

"Do you not want us, neko-taicho?"

Natsumi winced as she realized how that sounded. "I want you two for as long as you want me. Tsunade-sama said she knew she wouldn't ever be your kaa-san, you don't have to worry about that."

Humming now that her initial fear had been dealt with, Naomi looked at her older brother's face once her eyes left the former ANBU captain that had led the squad that saved them.

Mikoto had the easy job here, lurking in the back like a proper jōnin-sensei. Available for advice but not directly in the line of fire. Kenta and Akira allowed the young genin and academy trainee to dig fingers into their fur for the comfort.

"Is this because you and sensei are pregnant?" Tenzou asked instead of answering the offer.

"Probably somewhat influenced, yeah. Tsunade-sama probably gave up on children a while ago, having nearly all the clans producing the next generation almost at the same time had to affect her somewhat." Natsumi scratched the back of her head, making note to file her nails yet again. "It won't be like you'll never see me, you'll both probably be able to see me even more this way. But this will protect you both a bit better than even I can manage on my own. Sensei agreed to be the supposed tou-chan, which alone would make it rather obvious you know me. Nawaki, who would be your ji-san, is on my chūnin team and yet another person you both would know me through."

Which she had to decide to give up or try leading along with running ANBU.

Koichi was going to bitch at her for weeks.

Gai was about due for a jōnin promotion, Ibiki could probably get his now. It wouldn't be like she would be replaced.

"This will mean we can be there? For the baby's birth?"

Natsumi blinked at him. "Err… possibly? My husband knows you and what happened, he probably won't mind."

Tenzou looked at her belly, then at Ito. Kenta didn't seem to care his ears were being tugged sharply. "Do you mind?"

"Kid, I didn't mind five years ago. Why the hell do you think I care now?" The ex-bodyguard shrugged uncomfortably, shifting on his wooden leg grown specifically for him by his adopted son. "I'll always be the one that raised you, this is just more cover for it. You could probably claim me as a friend of the family that raised you in secret for most of your life. It's true in a fashion."

"That is the explanation we're going with, if you do this." Added the former assassin with a touch of amusement. "Ito and I were the ones to keep you both out of the lime light, for my sensei and the medic who saved his life. The time doesn't really match up well, but Ito will be considered to be added in later after the mission that lost him his leg and I do a lot of babysitting when there are children of my friends that need to be."

Finally, the oldest of the Orochimaru experimentation survivors looked at his sister. "Naomi-chan?"

"I wouldn't mind." The pseudo-Uzumaki grinned lightly at her older brother, hugging Akira around her neck. "Tsunade-sama's well respected, I would love to get to know her a little."

The two of them had come a long way from two barely out of toddler year children who flinched from a Nara medic's touch.

Tenzou weighed that in his mind, finally turning back to the older kunoichi with a firm nod. "We accept, then."

\V/

"Excuse me, when did I become the rally point for Cell Nine?"

Koichi grinned, a little sharply for the news she had given them a bit ago but still mostly fond, and handed her half of a popsicle. "Why taicho, don't you love us anymore?"

"Isn't there a tree we picked for this crap? Not my backyard?" Natsumi snatched her half of their treat, giving him a stern look he just shrugged off.

Jiraiya had shared popsicles with his Team Seven, Natsumi and Minato did the same with their own teams. She wasn't surprised she was getting treated to some, but really…

They could be less cheap about this.

Ibiki snorted, splitting his own before handing Gai half because if the taijutsu user did it half would go flying. "Nope, she's abandoning us for a baby gaki."

"Well… she's about to be a kaa-san, you can't really blame her for that." Nawaki split his own, offering Kenta half at first. Natsumi's oldest Summons just snorted and returned to being her lap warmer, so the Senju heir offered Akira the other half after. She licked it twice before deciding she didn't want it. Nawaki discarded that half with a slightly disgusted look for her manners. "I'm not surprised."

"Not quite. I'm abandoning you all for my baby and the ANBU General position." Licking the frozen stick of grape juice, she pointed it in Koichi's face. "What are you planning? You're almost done with a year, and you give me gray hair every time you leave without me."

"I don't see any gray hair, sensei!"

"Thank you Gai, shush now."

The Sarutobi heir sighed, thinking. "I… probably won't continue in ANBU, taicho. It's not quite… what I thought without you there."

"There is a kami!" Nawaki whooped, throwing up both hands and ignoring that his popsicle went flying behind him. "I don't know why you did it, Ko, and I'll be much happier if we can get jōnin together."

Koichi smirked at his best friend. "The same reason your nee-chan went for medic and kicked in the teeth on everyone that sniffed at her for it. To see if I can do it, out of my otou-sama's shadow. My own mark, even if very few ever know I did it."

"Oh…" Scratching his cheek, the Senju chūnin shrugged awkwardly and grinned with good natured humor at himself. "Well… that makes sense."

Ibiki grumped, scowling. "Why didn't you pick that up, idiot? You're diplomacy, aren't you all supposed to be good at that crap?"

"Doesn't mean I can't be wrong. People can be confusing sometimes."

"I hear that." Natsumi bit off the tip of her frozen fruit juice, chewing the ice instead of allowing it to melt. "The rest of you. Gai and Ibiki, you're cleared to try for the jōnin spar. Nawaki, you need a few more missions to run but so does Koichi as soon as he decides to go back to scouting or not."

"Probably." Said former scout chipped in around his own stick of icy fruit.

"Sensei, are you sure?" Gai queried uncertainly, lowering his own nearly finished popsicle. "I have not finished learning the Mesuji style taijutsu, should I not wait until you can finish teaching me?"

Loose screw taijutsu style? She smirked at that, Minato was going to bitch at her next. He had been trying for years to give her a name she would use for it.

"Gai, the style was unfinished before even I learned it. What there is finished is all Mebuki's efforts. Finish it up on your own."

"Fūinjutsu or interrogator?" Ibiki wondered aloud, discarding his bare stick in Gai's weapon pouch. Asshole. "Which one?"

"It's up to you, either or is good. A fūinjutsu specialization will require you to take on a student, though."

Natsumi stuck her still sticky and cold popsicle stick down the back of his shirt for Gai's revenge, then grinned sharply in the interrogator's face when he glared at her.

Akira grinned just as sharply beside her, purring at the antics she was watching.

"Right, we need a new topic." Koichi repeated the jōnin kunoichi's oft repeated excuse to change the subject dryly, smirking a bit himself when Gai snuck the stick in his weapon pouch out and snuck it into Ibiki's. "What else is up?"

"What did your tou-sama want to talk to you about last night?" Nawaki asked before anyone else could chip something in.

Natsumi's old ANBU rookie almost choked on the last of his ice. "Not a good topic, next."

"No, wait. What is this about?" The kunoichi interjected before someone else could say something, suspicious of how fast Koichi tried to change the subject again.

"Taicho, do I have to?"

She batted her eyes at him. "I'm a pregnant kunoichi practically left out of everything but gossip at the moment, humor me."

Koichi genuinely sulked at that, something she hadn't seen in a few good years. "Otou-sama asked if he should arrange a marriage for me with either a girl I liked or someone he could pick. Explaining to him that I actually prefer men more than women was a bit… awkward."

Oh… _ouch_. Natsumi ensured her face didn't twitch. "What did he say?"

He glared at her. "He was pretty shocked at first, but asked if I was going to give up the heir position to Asuma-kun instead of taking over for him in a few months. I don't think he cared much other than that."

"He probably doesn't, Koichi." Patting him on the back, she gave him a shrug. "Hiruzen-sama's seen a whole lot over his life by now, what he did through your and your otouto's childhood was so he could ensure you have somewhere safe to be happy in. Helping you figure out what to do now to ensure you remain that way is probably something he's keenly interested in doing, as it's something that might make up for missing a whole lot of your growing years in his view of things."

"Yes, well… still awkward, talking to your otou-sama about your love life. So, if we can change the subject?"

Ibiki wasn't going to be much help, at the start of the subject he had to bite into his forearm in order not to laugh his head off and invite more vengeance on himself.

Gai was probably in the middle of thinking about what it would have been like trying to explain the same thing to either his late Hiroshi-ji-sama or someone like Hatake Sakumo. From his face, he was having issues even with his rather talented imagination.

Nawaki was apparently somewhat similar to the interrogator in humor, the Senju heir was trying very hard not to laugh without the biting.

Kenta was flatly ignoring them, Akira purred a bit louder.

"You all fucking _suck_ , just so you know."

"Koichi, really." Natsumi threaded her fingers into his scruffy hair, tugging a bit. "We're sympathizing with you. I swear. Just… it is a little amusing, and you'll laugh in a few days about it too."

He huffed under her hand, crossing his arms to go with his sulk.

"What are you going to do, anyways?"

"I told him about what you said about the brothel, but he looked a bit green at that idea. He said he'd arrange something for me and we stopped talking about that."

"Well… they _are_ whore houses. You can pretty them up as much as you want, but the girls there are still whores. Sometimes very nice ones, I know a few from sensei's contact network that are honestly nice, but still." Natsumi had to shrug herself a little as she combed her lap cat's scruff with her claws. "The only really fancy geisha houses would probably honestly bear an heir for you, one of the less popular or trusted ones would probably ensure a girl was pregnant then pass it off as yours. Then, of course, you have to think who else has been with one of the girls before you, and that just gets a little-"

"Taicho, please shut up. Otou-sama said he'd arrange it, end of story." Koichi interrupted quickly, looking rather green himself now. "Please, please can we change the subject?"

Ibiki had given up, he was pounding the frozen dirt he was now doubled over with a fist as he laughed hysterically. Nawaki wasn't even sparing his best friend's dignity, he had one hand cradling his face as he snickered.

Gai still looked a bit confused as he pondered over his imaginary scenarios, and probably wasn't paying attention enough to follow the conversation in the first place. When he trusted his comrades as explicitly as he did his teammates on chūnin Cell Nine, he left them to be aware of the surroundings when he thought something over. Normally it helped the team, sometimes it was just a recipe for social embarrassment.

"Gai-kun? Are you going to make me a baa-san anytime soon?"

The taijutsu expert actually turned an almost magenta color when that permeated his stalling brain.

\V/

"Natsumi-sama…"

"I see her, Masao. Go see if you can hunt my husband down, please. Tell him I'll be back home in as little as an hour."

The Nara watchman frowned, but nodded after Kenta slunk closer to her side to take over guarding the pregnant Nara Lady.

Natsumi rolled up the scroll the two of them had been working out of, a rather comprehensive map of the Nara forest and it's terrain, then tucked the roll of paper under one arm. "Uroko-san, not entirely sure if this is a pleasure or not."

"Um… Natsumi-sama. Forgive the intrusion." The Kurama clan member spoke softly and kept her eyes on the ground between them. "But… is that offer you made still good?"

"Only for a place to stay, your clan problems are your own."

Shuffling her feet a little, the chūnin slumped and sighed. "Please may I take you up on that, Natsumi-sama?"

The former assassin was a little suspicious of her, but eventually shrugged it off. She had offered, and even if the girl had tried every damn time she saw her to call her cousin for the last year she had probably finally accepted Natsumi didn't want to be related to her. "Fine. I'll take you to where you can live for however long you want to stay."

"Thank you." Uroko almost sounded defeated, and although it twanged off Natsumi's conscience she wasn't going to invite Shikaku to get even more annoyed at her on this chūnin's behalf.

That first time she had been lucky, a repeated offense might actually get him irritated with her.

"Come on, we'll need to get you there and me back before nightfall or my husband will get vastly annoyed with us both." She checked the southwest corner of the Nara forest, to be sure she could leave it for the night without any of the deer herds stumbling into anything injury causing, before turning away and following the inside of the compound's walls to the gate.

"I'm… not staying with you?"

"I'm pregnant, not stupid."

Kenta hesitated, cocking his head a moment before slowly continuing to follow his Summoner.

"Ah… congratulations?"

Natsumi blinked, then looked at the other kunoichi over her shoulder. "Thanks?"

What the hell was wrong with her? The one time the kenjutsu specialist had talked to her for a good amount of time she seemed to have a bit of steel to her spine, but this was an almost broken kunoichi.

…though, she probably had just defied her family and clan and lost them both in as little as a few hours.

"Uroko-san, are you alright?"

She started, blinking up at the Nara in surprised before switching her stare to focus on her linked hands. "I will be, Natsumi-sama. Thank you."

There wasn't much she could say to that, she still avoided the Kurama clan and any sympathy from her would not only sound forced and hollow it would be in truth.

Natsumi finally shrugged it off and kept her eyes forward.

Kenta smoothed his shoulder into her leg when he had the opportunity, earning himself a pat.

When the two kunoichi reached the Nara clan gates, the watchmen gave the probably former Kurama kunoichi a suspicious look. Probably because Shikaku had banned any more of that clan from being allowed in once Unkai had made an ass of himself trying to get back in after the first time.

Natsumi signed herself out for once instead of leaving them to do it, giving the clipboard over for Uroko's mark.

Once the two kunoichi were past the gates, the former assassin waited a moment longer.

"Natsumi-sama?"

"We're waiting on Akira."

"Who- _oh_." Uroko took a few steps back when the other Leopard slinked past her.

"I saw no further problems in the forest, Natsumi-sama." Her Summons informed her, shooting the younger kunoichi a look. "Who is this?"

"Uroko-san, Akira-chan. Another of my Summons. You've seen Kenta already."

She looked a bit unnerved, which made Natsumi want to plant her face in her hands.

What the hell was up with that clan? Was Uroko really afraid of Summons?

The poor girl seemed to have a mess of problems, it made her itch to poke them to see if she could figure them out.

"Come on, you'll be living in the apartment complex the Nara, Akimichi, and Yamanaka clan maintains for clan members that don't want to live in the clan compounds."

Uroko skated around the two Leopards in order to walk a bit closer to the older kunoichi. "Are… will I live there long?"

"Until you decide if you want to keep the Kurama clan name or discard it, yeah." Natsumi shrugged once again uncomfortably. "Not that I'm unsympathetic or anything, but you're still probably a Kurama clan member officially and this will at least prevent me from actually having to deal with them just yet."

"Do you really hate us- _them_ so much?"

The Nara's Lady forgave the slip, it was probably just the newness of this situation that caused it. "Not hate, I just want nothing to do with them. The more they try the more I get annoyed, so give it a few years and I might just hate them for being annoying."

Natsumi knew the area pretty well, not only did she live just down the street and past a gate but Komushi had lived in the apartments once and the farmer's market was a few more streets down.

She also had a bad habit of taking shortcuts outside of where the normal Uchiha Police patrols reached when she wanted to be quick about going somewhere but didn't want to use Minato's hiraishin seals.

The prick of something stabbing into her upper arm was probably all her fault.

Natsumi snarled, whirling around and scoring four bleeding and probably deep slashes down Uroko's face in retaliation. "WHAT THE _HELL?_ "

Kenta shoved himself forward, growling his irritation at the chūnin as his Summoner unsteadily fell back against a brick wall.

"I'm sorry, but they said I could remain in the clan and not marry Murakumo-sama if I do this." The Kurama chūnin dropped the senbon needle, and clutched her bleeding face with her right hand. "I _am_ sorry, cousin."

Didn't Natsumi recently think of senbon specialists and poisons a few months ago? Why the hell did she give the brat her back?

She might need the wall to remain upright, and it had been a sedative in that needle's hollow point, but she was also a jōnin kunoichi… who once killed people for a living more than normal shinobi did.

"Little mouse, I have a kill count higher than _five hundred_. You are going to be added to that."

Uroko blanched, backing away quickly only to trip over Akira's less than amused form. Unkai might have saved the chūnin from the Leopard Summoner's felines and their claws, but it would not matter in the end.

"Natsumi-san. You will stop being so difficult."

The highly pissed off jōnin bared her canines in a disgusted snarl at the Kurama clan's branch head. "I believe we told you to go fuck yourself. Do so, and I might not allow my Leopards to eat you alive."

Illusion specializing clan or not, Unkai apparently had more experience in brawling than his clan head.

He grabbed Kenta out of the air and snapped the big cat's neck before he could sink his teeth or claws into either Kurama.

Natsumi went cold.

Kenta, her first Summons. Who was growly and snarly but didn't mind being called on more to make up for Ling-Ling's intense dislike of being Summoned or for kitten duties until there were more than enough Summons for their Summoner to rely on.

Killed in front of her and his own daughter.

"I'm going to ensure you are killed, given a traitor's grave, and your name and efforts mocked for the rest of time." Natsumi dug sharp claws into Akira's ruff to keep her other Summons from getting herself killed in her rage and grief for her father's murder, the most she could muster the effort for. "You will not live out the year for this."

"If you wish to continue being difficult, your fingers can be removed." Unkai informed her blandly, dropping Kenta's still form to the ground. "You will not need those for what the clan requires of you, Kurama Natsumi."

She merely growled in return.

"Neither the Uchiha clan nor the Nara clan will find us, stalling will not save you." He continued in a nearly pleasant tone of voice. "You will also not be a priority to search for, a retired kunoichi who has stopped running missions is not as important as anything else needed to be done in a time of war. If you continue to stall, that sedative we gave you will harm the Nara spawn you carry. Cooperate, and we might just allow you to birth the gaki before anything will happen to you."

"Keep thinking that, it'll amuse me."

"My patience is running out, girl. Behave or lose your child."

Natsumi gritted her teeth and put her mind to work.

She had… nearly nothing to bargain with. She might be jōnin, but she was fading fast and soon she couldn't get any remote chance of an assurance her baby would survive this. Minato's seal on the back of her left shoulder wasn't going to help, cut off from the seal as she was she couldn't use it as something to pull the blond's attention to her. He was way too busy as it was, having been confirmed as the Yondaime and in the middle of training under Hiruzen to take over.

Unkai was correct in that they were far enough away from the normal MP patrols that it wasn't likely one would stumble across them. ANBU would look to see if she was signed out of the Nara gatehouse before getting worried.

There was still forty minutes or so left of the time she told Masao to give her husband.

Natsumi didn't even have her sword, she had left Sakumo's katana at home because all she had been planning on doing was helping with plotting out a few new clearings for the deer herd.

Crouching down, the former assassin put her mouth near Akira's ear. "I need you to run a few messages for me, please. I will give you his corpse to play with, once this is over."

"I will hold you to that, Natsumi-sama. My tou-san deserves that much."

Unkai and Uroko blinked at her, probably misunderstanding what she was doing. They had treated the Leopards like animals that couldn't understand, the chūnin had been unnerved by the presence of them alone, and the Nara's Lady was going to use that to ensure their deaths.

"You need to take him back, Akira-chan, I cannot give him the respect I should right now. Not with their deaths to ensure."

"I will."

"Good. First, to the Toads…"


	22. Intermission - Version Two

_Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves._

_\- Stephen Kendrick_

* * *

The Summons realm was almost a world of their own, remote and slightly cut off from the territories of the human race.

They were animals, yes, but they also had their own lives and responsibilities and a sense of self so strong that it could rival the humans they occasionally dealt with.

They didn't quite have so much trouble as the humans seemed to get into, but they had their own conflicts to manage as well.

To a tribe or clan of animals, a Summoner was a boon. They paid something in return for occasional aid, a trade that had seen the rise and fall of several different noble Summon clans throughout the time they existed and were utilized. That trade could be anything a Summons clan wanted and a Summoner agreed to pay.

Natsumi-sama agreed to train cubs in hunting and tracking skills in return for Summoning the Leopards. One for one, she trained two cubs and kept one to Summon if needed.

She stopped taking one for a Summons after she had four trained for herself, but kept on training other cubs for the clan.

Tamika-sama didn't know if it was habit their human kept training cubs for or just out of gratitude, or if she wanted something more. All she knew was that those few human trained cubs tended to be sneaky and sly when they returned, undivided attention spent on the cub to train them made them just that much better when fully grown.

There was always a kitten volunteered every year, and every year Natsumi-sama trained them as asked.

Akira explained herself clearly, but also was almost twitching to do their Summoner's tasks for her with the pointy metal stick.

"Go."

Tamika-sama was a Leopard the size of a two story house, according to their human. Her voice echoed around their jungle home, her irritation with this situation clear to her pride.

The much younger Leopard bolted off, disappearing into the underbrush where the mountains loomed over their thickly tangled treetops. Mount Myōbokuzan rose in the midst of those mountains, a shimmering and mist shrouded peak higher than the rest. It would take her five hours to get there, then however long to explain herself to the Toad Elders to be taken to one of their two Summoners.

"Can't we just Summon Natsumi-sama here to hear what happened? It would be easier, right?" Tsuyoshi asked of the female that padded up next to him.

"You moron, not with the cub she is carrying. That will either save only her from whatever is going on or rip her and the cub both to shreds. There is nothing of the kitten to Summon it by but the blood the two share, and that might not be enough." Ling-Ling wrinkled her muzzle at him in a disgusted snarl. "Not only that, but she disliked the method when we offered to bring her here once. It might be a personal preference, like me, or just something she does not wish to be exposed to for reasons of her own."

Irritating one's Summoner was a bad idea.

They knew, from hearing some of what the Snake noble clan had suffered through under Orochimaru, that an irate Summoner would not be considerate of their Contract's unstated promise to protect each other and abuse it. Orochimaru had almost killed off an entire generation of serpents while he had been their Summoner, before his betrayal of their human and her pride.

Natsumi-sama was a considerate Summoner, Ling-Ling deciding she didn't wish to be a Summons had been worked around to both the clan's and the Leopard's satisfaction. It could have ended badly, Ling-Ling had been promised as a Summons. Their human had just simply listened to the problem and then spoke to Jin about a workaround the then kitten would prefer. Seal Keeper was just as respectable, and allowed the female Leopard to continue as a Leopard Clan Summons without having to deal with being Summoned to battle at another's whim.

She also paid more for Summoning than she had to. Their human could stop training cubs at any time, and although she wouldn't get the option of training herself up more Summons the kunoichi didn't seem too bothered by doing it well past the point the Leopard clan would have insisted.

The only reason the Leopard clan was regaining their prominence in the feline hierarchy was their Summoner training the cubs still. Less deaths occurred in a kitten's early years with a guaranteed shinobi trained cub given over to the clan almost every year. That built up, Ichiro and Gomati were two kunoichi trained Leopards that had won them a hunting grounds from the Snake territory in a battle three years past. They probably wouldn't have been as skilled in fighting had Natsumi-sama not trained them for the Leopards.

Summoners were points of pride to be boasted of, when they worked out well. Something that got a Summons clan help or assistance in return for some aid given in return.

Annoying her, or possibly killing her long awaited kitten just to save her when they did not know the full problem would not end well for them.

Natsumi-sama had specifically planned for bearing her kitten, she had arranged her guard long before she and her mate had attempted to try for their own young. She had plans now, trusted to Akira to take to the Toads and from there to her own teacher or littermate.

Tamika-sama would trust in their Summoner, but the moment any of the other Konohagakure aligned Summon clans managed to send word of their human's safety she would send Jin to follow Akira's path.

She wanted Kenta's killer to chew on.

Natsumi-sama was a considerate Summoner, she would provide her that just as she had provided the Dogs the bone of the one that killed their last Summoner.

\V/

"What do you mean by _my wife is missing?_ "

Masao winced, leaning away from his clan head. "She's not anywhere between the compound and the apartment complex. I can't find her or her Leopards."

Shikaku grit his teeth together, irritated and annoyed as well as a slight bit concerned.

Natsumi was three and a half months pregnant, she shouldn't have been getting up to anything right now. ANBU didn't need her yet, she had gotten her Bear-sama to cover for her pregnancy. Her students were all old enough to handle themselves, they had been around to check in on her just last week. Their friends would have let him know if they needed to talk to her, and she had gotten herself removed from the hiraishin seals so she shouldn't be teleporting around to annoy someone.

How did she go missing on a barely half hour long walk?

Whatever, Minato had sealed his space-time teleporting seal to her left shoulder blade. If the blond couldn't find her then he'd panic about it.

He was going to give her an earful about wandering off without telling someone, no matter how safe she thought the village was. They were ninja, safe was an illusion more often than not. Besides that, she was pregnant and not really able to fight effectively since getting banned from using chakra for the rest of the five months she had left.

"Who was the last to see her?"

"Kurama Uroko."

Shikaku stalled in place and blinked, then blinked again when that still didn't change Masao's apologetic expression. "A… _Kurama_ … was the last one to see Natsu?"

"The chūnin claimed to have separated from her clan."

"I really don't give a fuck."

Like that wasn't suspicious at _all_. A Kurama chūnin that even Natsumi had been suspicious of from the clan trying to harass her.

There was an itching feeling this wasn't quite just his wife wandering off because something unexpected popped up that needed her attention, but because she had no other choice.

Natsumi wanted family, he might have dragged his feet about it a bit long waiting on Chouza and Inoichi. The Kurama girl could have used that against her, even Natsumi acknowledged the possibility and knew associating with her would probably be foolish.

Shikaku could not accuse anyone without proof, so he needed to tie the chūnin to being the last one that saw Natsumi. "She came here, right? Then she had to have signed in and out."

"That was what I thought, Shikaku-sama, but her signature is not there anymore." Masao even handed over the clipboard usually kept at the gate, where there was a blank spot under his wife's name printed in precise kanji.

Flipping to the previous page revealed another blank spot, probably from the time the Kurama got in the compound.

He wanted to swear, using every nasty combination of words his wife had ever used in his hearing.

Genjutsu. If there was one thing that even the former ANBU captain herself would admit to being horrible at using or identifying, it was _genjutsu_.

Natsumi was missing, he had suspicions but no proof of who was involved. Accusing the Kuramas of stealing his wife and not having anything to tie them to it would be colossally stupid, and they would be able to use that against him if he later found the proof they couldn't cast doubt on. If Kurama Uroko had separated from her clan, her involvement wouldn't be a sign of the Kurama clan illegally interfering with another clan's members.

What was worse, without Natsumi the Kurama clan could claim the Naras could not protect her and she should be handed back to them if ever found. Minato might not hear of it, he knew perfectly well his sempai was happy where she was, but the Daimyo didn't and would judge the argument by whatever evidence the shinobi clans could present to him. Without Natsumi, it would only be a Nara's word against a Kurama's.

The Kurama clan had history the Nara clan didn't. Only recently had the Nara clan started to take on responsibilities within the village, the Kuramas had once been a noble shinobi clan even if they no longer had the numbers to give them a seat on the Council of Clans.

Shikaku saw the trap, someone with his intelligence and tactical knowledge couldn't miss it.

"Take this to the Uchiha checkpoint, ask them to fill in the blanks for us. Don't mention Natsu missing just yet." The Nara clan head handed the clipboard back, scowling. "I'm going to hunt down the Yondaime, he's got a seal on her back left shoulder. If he can't find her, then we'll declare her missing and start a search."

\V/

Sarutobi Hiruzen knew perfectly well, even if it took an accidental slip of the Toad Sage's tongue for him to realize what was so strange about the kunoichi in question.

Nara Natsumi was a reincarnation of another warrior woman who lived ages ago.

He didn't learn of it until after both the academy situation and her taking on a Sand-nin as a fūinjutsu student, both things of which benefited from her previous life experience.

The Hokage's office also kept very accurate records, as long as whatever was being dealt with wasn't what Hiruzen decided should be kept secret. A young Mesuji Natsumi had attempted to talk to him a grand total of three hundred and eighty seven times between the ages of five and seven. Probably to inform him about her reincarnation so he could decide what to do about her. That was also the time the Second War had started involving Kirigakure no Sato more, and he had been unfortunately swamped with too much to do to spare time even for young children that wished to talk to him.

It was not her fault he had taken so long to catch on, Hiruzen had put his dismay over the belated realization aside.

After age seven she would have been enrolled in the academy, as all orphans were, and taught not to bother him unless it was an emergency or he allowed it. Their kage was a busy man, they should be at the point they could handle their own problems and if not get help from their fellow shinobi trainees.

Which she did, telling her small circle of friends that Minato included her in. Including the Toad Sage when he had become her own teacher later on.

All technically correct responses according to Konoha's guidelines, even if the situation was a bit unusual.

Nuke-nin defecting to Konohagakure happened, not often but still something that had regulations and procedures for handling. Hiruzen decided this was just an extreme case of it, without the actual intent to defect prompting the poor girl to.

Her actions since becoming a Leaf kunoichi were acceptable, her quirks then were a little more understandable.

Yes, he would have liked to know. She had tried, though, until it became something she should not be doing.

Shortly after his realization, Orochimaru attempted to kill her and her ANBU squad.

Hiruzen had already decided the kunoichi that looked like a young woman was an asset he didn't mind having, she was putting her knowledge and experience in his hands to use and using it herself to improve their village on her own. Jiraiya was fond of her and he knew, his old student was a very good judge of character and spent a few years as her principle master of fūinjutsu if not her jōnin-leader.

Natsumi might be a little quirky and outspoken as a jōnin kenjutsu user if not as Panther the assassin, given what she had lived through it probably was self-explanatory as to why.

She had also been chasing bits and rumors of Shimura Danzō's ROOT organization, something he was keen on her doing since he kept getting conflicting reports about.

Two lifetimes of military experience, utilized for the Village Hidden in the Leaves without being asked to, and she tried to kill herself instead of be used against their village. In front of him, two teachers, her own husband, and a few other friends and her ANBU coworkers.

Hiruzen shrugged off his few remaining doubts after she survived, questioning her loyalty after that would have been a rather ungrateful course of action. He was not a stupid man, he could realize she valued the village just as much as any other Leaf shinobi and worked hard to ensure it remained a place they could live in and be proud of.

The teasing Natsumi gave him seemed less like a kunoichi becoming slightly familiar with her kage, but more like two old people who had seen much getting exasperated with the younger generation or each other. Something Hiruzen could admit to, she exasperated him a fair bit after that and sometimes the younger generation of shinobi could get up to very strange things. Natsumi had probably seen much over both courses of her life, it was comparable.

Sometimes she had the most appalling timing, but she was also Jiraiya's student and in a way a young woman that could be an old one sometimes.

He watched her teach her own fūinjutsu student, and she had rearranged the academy for the village, so he felt safe in trusting such a kunoichi with his own son. Koichi had been a very reserved and quiet child, suspicious like any shinobi raised child and untrusting of even adult shinobi of their own village. Natsumi turned him into a chūnin scout, ex-ANBU saboteur that survived his shadowy job, who was comfortable with himself and his place as Hiruzen's heir.

With a very interesting choice in lovers, but Hiruzen could ignore that and work around it. He did not need to know anymore, and would be perfectly happy oblivious as long as he and Biwako got a grandchild eventually.

Danzō was a situation that caused him to both appreciate the reincarnation and regret she was there. Natsumi's previous investigation had not gotten anywhere, the trap they crafted for the one who stole her kinjutsu research done by Orochimaru had remained un-tripped. That paperwork was found in the _Ne_ office Danzō kept, long after the damage was already done. Hiruzen did not know if Sakumo had known, but the man treated the kunoichi as a daughter regardless and she adored him in return. He had not been the only one to lose someone important to him in that mess, but she still respected him more than she hated his former childhood friend for killing her kenjutsu master and told him so.

Hiruzen had offered her the Hokage's position and was not surprised she bolted out a window in response. Her official claim might be in protest of the paperwork, but she handled a massive amount of it for the twin ANBU Generals he had. Minato was the other candidate he had offered to, she was used to him leading them all and seemed to prefer that. He knew it, but confirmation was always appreciated. Natsumi had a unique perspective, if she had no issues following Minato's lead then everything she had seen in two lives told her he was a good leader to follow just as she had followed Hiruzen's lead before him.

Of course, the Bears handing over ANBU General to her at Minato's request made him wince sometimes. All four of them were probably at similar ages, he and the Bears were retiring while she would be working for another thirty to forty years until she passed over her new position to her own successor. Hiruzen did not envy her that, he was already tired and just thinking of what lay before her feet made him feel exhausted.

A few hours after she had been apparently kidnapped, when Minato heard the news from a rather irate Shikaku, Hiruzen decided he wasn't amused by this.

Natsumi had been pregnant, given up her kunoichi skills for a time to bear the next generation of Konohagakure. As any kunoichi should have the right to do when in their own home village.

She had better still be pregnant when found, she had given up a lot for Konoha then took on even more responsibility and should have been able to trust the village to protect her in turn.

"I can't sense her seal." Minato shoved a hand through his hair, distracted and probably distressed. "It's not there anymore, I thought sempai had gone home. Her seals can cut it off, but there's the kunai she has and the one on her shed so I never really wanted to get my seals to work through hers."

"Exactly how closely do the two of you keep track of each other?" Shikaku shook his head before he even finished that question. "No, don't tell me. I don't want to know. The hiraishin seal has a range of what? A mile? Two?"

"Five, if I concentrate. She's outside that, or hidden within under chakra suppression."

Shikaku blinked a few times, aghast and probably trying not to panic. "That's fucking _useless_ , Minato."

"I know." Sighed the blond in return, snatching up a sleeveless haori the Toads had gifted him when he announced his kage candidacy to them. "I'll grab Tsume and Shibi… or rather, just Shibi. Maybe Hizashi instead. Hiruzen-sama-"

"I will take care of the paperwork, Minato-kun." He eyed the stacks of work the two of them had only put one minor dent into all day and lit his pipe again. "I expect to be kept informed."

"I'll…" Shikaku sighed heavily, rubbing the scars carved into his face. "I'll talk to Fugaku. If you can't find me, the MPs will probably know where I am."

\V/

Shibi found Natsumi annoying but useful.

A lot of things in life were like that, so he ignored the annoying part and simply appreciated the useful part.

Gnats were annoying, but useful in their tiny size for spying. Natsumi being annoying was sometimes irritating, but her assistance was given with only asking required.

Simple and effective, he valued that.

They shared Tsume's daughter as godparents, he knew about the cribs well before he received his own. It had been unusual, the ability to carve wood competently, so his kikachu investigated the lacquered rosewood for him one of the days he spent watching Hana for her mother.

The seal burned to his insects' senses, but they still picked out his own chakra in the identifier kanji. Confusion lasted only long enough to recall a very strange incident with the kunoichi that resulted in a cut for him, she had probably sneaked his blood for his chakra signature.

Some testing and a few pulverized beetles later, Shibi knew what the seal did.

Repairing the tiny holes in Tsume's house before the Inuzuka alpha got home had been vexing, no matter how amusing Hana found his wall patching skills, but he was satisfied with both the crib's fūinjutsu seal and his fellow godparent's efforts to safeguard their charge. It was useful, understated, and unspoken. All things Shibi liked about Natsumi if you took away her sometimes strange personality quirks and normally brash behavior.

Tsume could be worse sometimes, Shibi put up with that in return for what the other kunoichi did for him when he simply asked for her assistance.

Tsume _and_ Natsumi together?

Shibi stayed home those days.

Although Natsumi had never met his wife, she had planned on him taking one anyways. The sealing scroll that contained a white pine crib also contained the instructions to add another individual to the seal's master key, allowing Shibi the privacy they had sought when he failed to inform anyone outside his clan he had a wife and she was pregnant.

Like the kunoichi had promised, the crib smelled faintly of a pine forest and had only simple geometrical designs and smooth bars an insect could climb and rest upon if they wished. It was sanded to a fine, silky texture instead of sealed with varnish and the headboard and footboard were removable, to replace the wood if they became chewed up from any insects escaping a young Aburame's control. It could be a perfect secondary hive if needed, and replaced easily by either asking the kunoichi that carved it or requesting one of their own carpenters to do it.

Shibi and Shiori decided they would use it for their heir, even if the fūinjutsu seal had not been there to aid in his protection. It was a gift, it was logical to make use of it in return if only for the consideration she had given them and their wish to be private about their clan's next heir.

Minato showing up and telling him the fūinjutsu master that allowed him his privacy even in regards to her own seal work for them was missing and possibly kidnapped _irritated_ him.

Yes, Natsumi was annoying. She was also useful, and currently supposed to be protected as she bore the next generation of Konohagakure for her clan and village.

Being kidnapped was not acceptable to him.

The Aburame clan would assist in finding her.

\V/

Hiashi would admit he did not think of the woman as a friend. Natsumi was his brother's friend, and he was content with that.

The reincarnation unnerved him, truly.

It was one thing to know it possibly happened, abstractedly as an idea of random possibility, but another entirely to behold what it did to one who went through it.

While he would acknowledge Natsumi as a comrade easily enough, after witnessing how she had been after her first death and how much it took to heal her somewhat and the changes caused by the effort to turn her into a kunoichi?

Hiashi did not wish to know that amount of detail about it.

Natsumi of now and the Natsumi of then were different people entirely. He would try to become familiar with the now version and ignore the previous one had existed.

He was proud of his bloodline and clan, the thought of losing all of that and then being forced to reinvent oneself in order to live again in another world disturbed him. Watching Natsumi go from a slightly strict instructor and wartime leader of another world and then becoming a Konohagakure kunoichi who could follow unquestioningly had been jarring, and as more and more of the soldier she had been had been subsumed by the kunoichi she became the more unnerved Hiashi was about it.

When the seal switch became known, seven years after the fact, the Hyūga clan head spared no thought of the kunoichi herself as he dug in against his clan elders. Hizashi kept him informed of what was going on with their friends and fellow clan heads, Hiashi needed his attention to prevent anything worse from taking the replacement seal's place.

Hizashi had not been content with the idea that any child of his would suffer at a disgruntled clan elder's hands, Hiashi would prevent that for his younger twin if at all possible. He already had the tools to do so, prepared well before the discovery by their friends for them both.

He used those ruthlessly.

The seal's effects were the same as the old version, tested by R&D and crafted by the last Uzumaki in the village for them. Uzumaki Kushina's expertise and assistance sans Orochimaru's involvement. Shikaku, Fugaku, and Mikoto had tag teamed Hiashi in defending his reasoning against an intelligence that outstripped his own and fellow noble clan members, he still believed they could be more effective arguing than even Hyūga elders.

The threat of Natsumi coming back from her chūnin exam and helping unnerve him had pushed him to work harder.

He had a total moment of pure bemusement, when called before his clan elders and they had demanded the reasoning for what he had done.

Natsumi intimidated him more than his own elders, but he had been set into a group of individuals she would probably never harm intentionally if at all possible.

His clan elders were not so considerate, they could kill his brother at whim even if it was not normally used as leverage against him.

Hiashi decided then that his elders being a worse option to deal with than a reincarnated woman was rather pathetic for a noble shinobi clan. He refused to allow that, this was his clan and they would behave like a family clan.

Even if they did not wish to.

Hyūgas were enduring shinobi warriors who were unflinching even in the face of pain or their death. They should behave in a similar or better manner than a woman that faced her own death and came out of her demise still strong enough to fight and live on once again showed.

Hiashi _made_ them.

It took years of effort, of politely worded arguments and ignoring the stern, cold disproval of his elders in favor of showing them his own disappointment and disproval of them.

He still made them behave in a manner he approved of.

Hiashi had seen the crib Natsumi carved for Hizashi and Misaki, he approved of it as well. A well trained byakugan eye could see the fūinjutsu inked into the underside of the bed, no matter how dense the wood was. A better warning that any interference with his nephew would not be tolerated Hiashi could not wish for. Neji would be safe, even if half the clan probably could not remove him from his crib.

Hiashi now had a crib of his own, though.

From the same fūinjutsu master that crafted and sealed his twin brother's.

Hisana did not know of it at the time, Hiashi was sure of that. She approved of the starkly beautiful piece of ebony gifted to them anyways, even unknowing of the seal that pulsed in a Hyūga warrior's sight.

Which would defend the child it guarded with all the vicious cunning of the former ANBU assassination specialist herself.

The clan head's future wife was a delicate woman, as graceful and retiring as any noblewoman that did not belong to a shinobi noble clan. She was a chūnin tracker, not skilled enough to go higher and not tempted to improve her skills anymore since she would be her clan head's wife and the mother of his children. Hiashi did not want Hisana to meet Natsumi, the Leopard Summoner would probably eat his betrothed alive. Misaki somehow made it, but that may just be because his younger brother's wife was jōnin and able to fend off the other kunoichi on her own.

When Minato came around to ask for their help in tracking the fūinjutsu master down, as she was pregnant herself and possibly unable to fight back, Hiashi had no problem allowing Hizashi to go and assist Shibi the same moment he heard the problem.

Natsumi may unnerve him somewhat, but she was still a fellow shinobi of the Leaf who had done him a favor without asking for something in return.

She was also his brother's friend, he did not mind that. Hizashi seemed to appreciate something about her and he trusted his brother's judgment.

\V/

Uchiha Fugaku was not a very expressive man.

He knew it, he was fine with it, and he saw no reason to change that.

His wife knew he loved her in his own way and loved him back, his son knew he was loved and adored what time Fugaku could spare from his duties to teach him some clan shinobi skills. All those important to him knew he was a reserved man, therefore it was not something he had any direct influence to want to change that about himself.

Hearing the pregnant Nara Natsumi was kidnapped just feet from an Uchiha Military Police patrol route and there was no witnesses to it?

Fugaku very carefully put down his brush before the impulse to stab the Nara clan head with it became too much.

Natsumi might be childish most days, and she could be vastly annoying when she wanted to be, but she was also one of his wife's best friends. The former assassin was also a very vocal supporter of the Uchiha clan, even when miscommunications happened and annoyed or irritated her. Natsumi was normally very good about correcting things she came across and knew were wrong, and helping Mikoto any way she could when able to even when it was forcing her to relax for a few minutes. She also frequently associated freely with his clan and reported back what she heard to him, probably something she kept doing from the time she did it for him in his academy days about his fangirls.

He appreciated it if not the kunoichi's full personality herself. The reports allowed him a greater understanding of what his clan was thinking, a few tips on what seemed to be miscommunicated somehow, and a good measuring stick to how the rest of Konohagakure no Sato saw the Uchiha clan. He had gotten rookie MPs to attempt to mimic what she did for practice, their report writing abilities skyrocketed after trying and failing to somehow keep up with Natsumi's regular report making when she had the time.

That didn't include the cribs she had made for the clan's heir or his soon to be sibling.

Kushina had informed his wife what the seal work inked into the bottom of it had been intended for. Mikoto informed him when she left Itachi in it when a non-Uchiha, non-Konoha shinobi was spotted within the clan compound and they had difficulties tracking down the target.

Fugaku had always been slightly reserved and found Natsumi slightly annoying, he was still tempted to risk Shikaku's wrath again and kiss her himself. A fūinjutsu master's security seal was the last line of defense for both of his children, even if one was not born yet. Any non-Uchiha other than Kushina that tried removing either of his children would be repelled through a few walls, and if that didn't kill them Fugaku would gladly kill what was left.

Natsumi's security seals were lethal works of art, proven and tested against both infiltrators and a rogue sannin. This might be less lethal in respect for the young they were intended to safeguard, but still something he would have murdered anyone for the peace of mind it bought him.

He would admit he probably owed her something, especially for that alone.

Allowing him to find his own way in studying her kinjutsu after Orochimaru was something else he actually had to think about before deciding if it was just her being annoying or being supportive.

With Natsumi, either could be it.

Happy did not explain his mood when told of her missing from where she should have been. Irritated could cover it somewhat, because if anyone could get kidnapped then complain of how long it took to be rescued it was her.

Infuriated and viciously aggravated that they were possibly missing the fūinjutsu master that gifted two masterwork seals to him silently to ensure his family was protected even if he could not be there as he served their village?

Sounded about right.

"Are you _sure_ , Shikaku?"

"Minato can't find her, and she has his seal inked into her back." Shikaku sounded frustrated with the whole situation, but that was understandable. At least he wasn't threatening violence to Fugaku himself, his restraint was appreciated. "There's only one lead, a Kurama chūnin my gate guards watched sign in and out but somehow we're missing that signature only hours after the fact. She was the last one to see Natsu. I'm asking you for help so I don't screw this up and lose that and my currently pregnant wife."

"Where is that paperwork now?"

"I told my cousin to hand it over to the Uchiha checkpoint, to get the blanks filled in."

Fugaku nodded thoughtfully. That had been the smartest move, to begin an investigation that would rely on facts and not accusations no matter where it took the MPs. "What else is being done?"

"Minato went to fetch Hizashi and Shibi, for their help tracking her down."

He spent another few moments thinking, getting up from the desk he normally worked out of when managing the Military Police. "We need to connect this chūnin to Natsumi's last known location, which the trackers can backtrack for us. That will at least give us right to interrogate her for what she knows, but unless there is something obvious about Natsumi's disappearance not being willing it will have to be MPs interrogating and not the Yamanaka clan head."

"How do you do that?"

Fugaku eyed Shikaku, not entirely sure if he should inform him of that.

"I would prefer my wife home, pregnant and safe, to pounding the shit out of the Kurama clan for trying to steal her. Tell me you wouldn't want to ensure everything you could for that to happen if it was Mikoto."

Well… no, he had to give the Nara that point. "Something that made it obvious against this chūnin, injury or physical evidence of a fight on her personally. Her blood or chakra signature at the point of disappearance will also work."

"So… bruises will let us take her?"

"I did not hear that."

"Noted."

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku didn't even need to wonder how link the chūnin to his wife's disappearance and ensure she had nothing to do with it.

An Uchiha could see genjutsu being used, Fugaku had spotted the one she wore to hide her face.

This chūnin was the last one known in his wife's company. Four half-healed slashes down the right side of her face were obvious signs that Natsumi had protested whatever happened to her, violently.

"I've got scars from Natsu's nails on my back. Can you compare those to hers and find if they're similar enough to investigate?"

Fugaku blinked his sharingan off and stared at the Nara clan head who was holding the chūnin still by both shadows and hold on her neck. "On your _back?_ Why… no, I don't wish to know. If we must, we can."

Shikaku thought about that, because the other shinobi was helping him and there was a way around that. "How about the kitchen table? There's a set there."

"I would prefer that." His face still had a strange set to it. "But… why are there claw marks on your kitchen table?"

"Natsu's in her second trimester. Think about it. What is Mikoto like now?"

Fugaku's strange expression flattened out. "I did not need to know that. Furthermore, I do not wish to know you know that about my wife."

Shikaku didn't remotely feel sorry for it. "Blame this little bitch for it."

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Let's never talk about this again."

"Agreed."

They did have better things to do.

This was now a criminal investigation of kidnapping, not merely a search for a missing pregnant kunoichi.

Shikaku could almost smile, if there wasn't a pounding sensation of alarm and worry echoing in him he was trying to suppress for the moment so he would be of use and not a panicking husband.

No, Kurama Uroko wouldn't be investigate by Uchihas.

She would be investigated by T&I for what caused her to receive claw marks from a MIA and pregnant jōnin kunoichi of another clan.

In particular, the Yamanaka clan head himself.

\V/

Yamanaka Inoichi had been through a lot of heads in his time as an interrogator, and even more as the Head of Interrogation.

The human mind was fascinating to him, as it really had no other comparison as an in depth or brief look into how or what a single person though. The one time he had been in Natsumi's, he could see in a glance what she thought like and how she was doing mentally.

The jagged, sandy cracks and mishmashes of violent imagery almost frozen and chained in place told him alone that there had been something very wrong with her, then he did a stupid thing and hunted through for memories without giving thought to what kind he might find in a mind like that.

Witnessing a lot of unusual things she had once seen had been interesting, but getting thrown out of her head by beholding her prior death in all the detail she could perceive had been his fault.

He had spit out a lot of things once he was done losing his dinner as the effects of his mind walking jutsu faded, mostly so he didn't recall the aching, searing pain of _not having a stomach anymore_. To make it worse, in her last life Natsumi actually looked down to see the problem and could see her own spine through the gaping hole in her abdomen.

That… had given him nightmares afterwards. He was sure, from Shikaku's mentions alone, she still had those herself.

Natsumi had been very intimidating, as a supposedly young girl. Fascinating, but also very creepy with iron self-control and the nearly limitless patience of one who lost everything before and dearly appreciated having something to hold on to again.

She had also been a psychologist herself, an amateur who used it more for military applications than anything but still one that he could learn from. He asked, so she taught him what she knew and let him loose on her mind.

Inoichi might prefer the thought that the mind worked as images, but that was only because through his clan's jutsus he could see that.

Natsumi thought in metaphors and associations, and she worked with that.

That caused them some differences of opinions, true, but between them they usually had one or two possibilities that would work.

She had allowed him to mess around to fix her mental health when she didn't have the motivation or emotional grip to do it herself, that had taught him a lot about the human mind that he couldn't understand from just reading scrolls alone. Natsumi didn't try to impose how she viewed the mind on him, she allowed him his own way then demanded he defend it to her satisfaction before allowing him to try it with her. Even his own father hadn't been able to do that, but Natsumi was a very impressive woman.

Still scary sometimes, though.

The fact Natsumi knew his Mayuko well before Inoichi did had not been even a little surprising. They both were soon to be former ANBU captains, and he had thought those were impersonal agents that didn't allow private feeling in the way of what they were order to do.

He learned differently real fast.

ANBU was only impersonal at the lower entry positions. You got higher than that or into a squad, you got into ANBU's own style of living and showing concern.

Fox had done something Inoichi would have called suicidal. She had gone up to Panther and dared the assassin to kill her for dating him.

Inoichi wasn't sure why Natsumi ignored what amounted as a challenge shoved in her face and fixed the issue so he could still have his chosen girlfriend even if ANBU regulations stated that should not happen. He was thankful, but still had not scratched the top of what it was that caused Fox, his Mayuko, to believe ANBU's Panther-sama, Shikaku's wife, would kill her for.

He also wasn't sure why Panther-sama was considered his keeper in ANBU, and not entirely sure he wanted to know.

Natsumi's sense of humor was… very strange sometimes. She even infected Shikaku with it a little, which was exasperating but at least his team leader shut up with a snicker when Inoichi asked him to.

To make any further slight against the woman worse in his eyes, she forked over one of her students to him without word given about later payment or demands.

Morino Ibiki, fūinjutsu user taught by Natsumi who specialized in the same things his master in the art did.

Inoichi had his own fūinjutsu specialist. T&I and Intelligence had a seal user to themselves, they no longer had to beg another shinobi master of the art to do their seal work or touch up the fading fūinjutsu around all three departments. Even if Ibiki hadn't been such an intimidating bastard just by appearance, the Yamanaka clan head would have loved having him in his department for his calligraphy alone.

The fact Ibiki was probably the best assistant Inoichi could've asked for?

Alright, the chūnin interrogator was a bit of a mother. Probably told to watch him for signs he was overworking because Natsumi had yelled at him a few times for bringing his work home with him and stressing himself out over his job. He was also a sadistic bastard personality wise, but he had both Natsumi and Tsume as team leaders and those kunoichi could be downright terrifying sometimes.

Still, that aside he was pretty sure neither he nor Ibiki were pleased with this latest issue to bother the kunoichi.

There was also the fact Natsumi was pregnant and probably unable to defend herself well that probably made the both of them rather ticked off.

"Well, Ibiki, shall we?"

The young man had been working under him long enough to tell if Inoichi was pissed or not. Ibiki's answering smirk was downright evil in nature. "I would dearly love to know what they did to sensei, Inoichi-sama. May I start?"

An already scared up Kurama Uroko looked too terrified to move.

Inoichi did not have any sympathy for her.

Natsumi's soft spots were probably mostly his fault. They had used that to pull her back from the edge, and more often than not it normally worked out for the best for Konohagakure when they got hit. Inoichi had left them alone, because if she had ever really lost it he was sure he, Shikaku, or Minato could use that to grab hold of her again. This chūnin had managed to get something into those cracks he left in her just in case, by using a blood relationship and her desire for family against the other kunoichi before somehow stabbing her in the back and causing her disappearance.

Inoichi would find out what, then when the former assassin was safe again he would harass her into fixing the worst of those spots. They might have helped before, but they were now a liability that had been used against her.

Natsumi might be afraid of becoming cold, but he was sure he could help keep that from happening for her if she wished.

\V/

What the Nara and Yamanaka clans knew eventually reached the Akimichi clan. No matter how things had worked out long after joining the Village Hidden in the Leaves, the Akimichi clan still led the trio for generations before that. Chouza might not be the leader in the current set of clan heads from each of them, but he was still important. He was the backbone of their team, which Inoichi and Shikaku relied on when their own skills wouldn't help. He was also their rock, who they leaned on when unable or unwilling to do something at first.

Chouza was pretty sure half his clan had never seen him without his easygoing nature before.

Even Momo didn't give him a second look though, she was a bit too horrified at the news.

Well before Natsumi started fussing after Minato and Inoichi, she did it over Chouza first. He was pretty sure it had started out as an apology, for taking Inoichi's attention away from him however unwillingly. He was also pretty sure she never noticed she snagged Shikaku's attention too, otherwise he may not have had to ask to try some of the foods she knew how to cook from another life.

The fact she did it at all had amused him, as even a reincarnated soldier from another lifetime had known his approval was needed to associate with their clans' heirs.

Chouza was ninja enough to be a bit conceited at being first, no matter how much Minato and Inoichi, and later Shikaku, meant to her.

He might not have benefited from her aid much, he didn't need her taijutsu coaching or held any interest in the human mind and how to fix it, but watching it all happen had been something to watch. Minato might be an S-ranked threat and kage now, but he had hit the ground pretty frequently when sparring against a physically young Natsumi.

She, with her adult's understanding and vastly more mature outlook, had also unconsciously needled the other kunoichi trainees over their observation skills about Chouza. Akimichis ate a lot, they knew it, and when growing up they had to not only eat enough to grow and sustain their metabolism but to start storing up the basic building blocks they would later use when using their clan's body sizing jutsus. She had once scolded him for eating sweet crackers for three days in a row, as that was unhealthy for him, then confiscated his crackers and shoved beef jerky on him instead.

Natsumi had also told him in a very sweet tone of voice that if he ever tried it again she would tell his mother while shoving the crackers on Shikaku's sleeping head for safekeeping.

Chouza hadn't noticed what he was eating, it was just something at hand when he left home that morning, and so he shrugged and ate the jerky instead.

His mother had somehow known what he had taken to the academy for the last few days, and was prepared to yell at him anyways. Natsumi's jerky had stalled her irritation into confusion. Chouza rather thankfully used her as an excuse not to eat fruit and vegetables for his snacks for a few days. His mother had then congratulated Tsubaki-sensei over her kunoichi's attention to details the next day, loudly enough for the rest of the kunoichi in their class to overhear. Natsumi had been smug, her fellow kunoichi had been appalled they had ignored him and missed that and were then being _thanked for it_.

Chouza probably got a couple childhood dates from it, so while irritating somewhat at the time it worked out for him.

He was also the first one to be called awesome, because he didn't need her help or exasperated her sometimes.

Momo might have needed her help somewhat, Natsumi never minded doing it for him because he was that awesome to her. Chouza was also pretty sure the reincarnation liked Momo herself, forking over her own anniversary for their wedding day no matter how much Shikaku sighed over it was only one of many signs of how much the kunoichi liked his civilian wife.

Natsumi had gotten his approval back in the academy, long before she became a Nara clan member and Shikaku's wife. Chouza was not happy she was in danger.

Inoichi was probably still in T&I trying to figure out what had happened, Shikaku would have headed for Minato first or swallowed his irritation with the Uchihas and went to Fugaku only if the Yondaime couldn't find his wife.

Chouza would back Shikaku up while Inoichi found them a target to go after.

\V/

The Bears had been amused with her, really.

Panther slipped in and out of the shadows rather easily, switching from a jōnin kunoichi to an ANBU captain as smoothly as she removed a clay mask. Mischievous to no-nonsense and back in the blink of an eye.

Those that survived ANBU for any decent amount of time could do it, even both Bear twins themselves. Wolf-taicho had done it, going from nearly silent infiltrator to a highly respected jōnin shinobi tracker. He taught her to do it, from hard-ass assassin to brash and perverted jōnin kenjutsu specialist.

The vast majority of ANBU might be geared to catch and reconditioned suicidal or shell shocked shinobi and turn them back into ninja of Konohagakure they could be proud of, but the higher ranks were hardcore bastards that could coldly arrange death and destruction for enemies of the Leaf and go home later that same day and be loving spouses with only slightly muddy consciousness.

It had been the younger Bear that picked her out of the academy to replace them. Seeing an edge to her that spoke of survival and stubborn determination.

It had been the older Bear that trained her up to take over for them. Slowly, to the point their stubborn and vicious captain accepted the training and responsibilities heaped on her.

They both had noted and followed her career over the years, getting a great amount of amusement over the confusion and chaos she caused and the death she dealt out.

Panther fought and managed and fought again, arranging and sorting things into place so S-ranked secrets could be managed with little additional effort and her mission work was taken care of in efficient methods. Took this and that and gave it to another captain to handle for her squad so she could kill this or that target and shift a current view of their fellow citizens of Fire Country into a better arrangement for the Leaf. Hunted down targets that had proven a threat to their nobles; killed gang members that tried to terrorize their villages and countrymen; snuck and stole into places she never should have been able to get into to kill someone in creepy or scarring manners then sneak away again free and clear.

Panther was a nearly legendary assassin of an ANBU captain, her efforts and mission record was used to intimidate and inspire her fellow assassins of Konohagakure no Sato into being better than just cold-blooded killers.

A true credit to the former Wolf and his skills in teaching her his own.

Anyone could kill, Panther turned it into something quite like an art form in not being there after the deaths. Assassination missions given to her were done, exactly as paid for. Obviously by accidents, by poisons, by what seemed to be bandits, by anything but a Konohagakure assassin more than two thirds of the time.

They wondered if ANBU would retire her mask for a decade or so after she was done being ANBU General, as the Bear masks were probably going to be until there was another set of twins in ANBU. She wasn't the only one that spoke of pity for the next Panther or Bears to walk ANBU headquarters' halls. Those like them were rare, Wolf had been another before he finally died.

Fox stumbling into that assassin's grip had raised some concerns for them, but Horse and Boar had been added to her circle of friends easily enough. Panther had probably only blinked then allowed the spy in as her old genin teammate wanted, after terrorizing her a little to see what reasoning there was to see.

Her training up and leading missions for Mongoose had just been a measure of how much of an ANBU General she would make. A saboteur was rare, one that retired was practically impossible. Mongoose retired a week ago, though he kept his mask. Panther had plans for him, both Bears almost couldn't wait to see what.

Learning they had to stay on for about a year more than they planned on was almost a given, Panther getting pregnant finally was something she had to get out of the way. Anything further she wanted would have to be done on her own time. They didn't mind helping her in taking over and rearranging ANBU so one General could overlook it, even if she was pregnant, now that the twin secret was out going down the halls of ANBU HQ drew more than their fair share of stares. That was something they could and would do for their successor, a pleasure almost.

However, the Bears were tired of the dark and old enough to wonder what it would be like to simply rest for days on end. They would greatly appreciate retiring and letting Panther take over for them as they wanted and planned for.

This close to being free of the shadows meant they were less than amused at this latest upset.

Panther had dubbed the elder Bear as 'Bear of the Left' and the younger as 'Bear of the Right'. It had been the first time in years the Bear twins had been separated in someone's mind, and she could keep them separated in her head no matter how they tried to confuse her.

They weren't the only ones Panther had given an identity for themselves to.

"Find Stag. Stick him to whatever the Yondaime sends out. He'll bring our Panther back, we're going to see the Hokage."

\V/

Stag was sure Panther didn't remember why.

He didn't blame her, if it hadn't shifted his view of himself he probably wouldn't recall the incident as easily as he could either.

It had been an offhand comment, back in the beginning of the Third War, given after an ambush they routed had cost the assassin some of her hearing and he dragged her back to the medic's camp through two fights and another battle line.

He had not really been a Stag, he had taken the ANBU mask from an agent that ran afoul of Shimura-sama, the worn it because he had been ordered to infiltrate ANBU for the Village Elder so he could watch it for him.

Panther had not called him Stag, she merely stated she admired his skills in guarding others because she couldn't do it well. Then she had patted him on the chest plate in unspoken thanks as she limped off to change and find a medic to heal her.

Confused but appreciative of the comment about his skill from a higher ranking shinobi, once back in the village he had dug into her history to see why an assassin had to guard something. It was one thing to be admired for skills, but another to learn the one that admired your skills had faced off with a rogue sannin and guarded an injured squad mate and two children until the Hokage could reach her and rescue them all. He had not been sure if he could do that either, and he supposedly had more skill in the area than she did.

Before, he had been a ROOT agent with nothing to identify himself with. From that point on he was a bodyguard Panther admired for skills she thought she did not have in decent amounts. He trusted her in that opinion, she was a captain and a well-respected ANBU agent, and took on the identity of a bodyguard titled as Stag that Panther could rely on if she needed him. That was what ANBU impressed into it's agents, if you didn't have the skills find someone that did and stick with them to make up for your lack.

She told him he had skills she didn't have, she was telling him she needed him to help her with those impressive skills.

When Panther needed a guard, Stag was it for the next few years. He then met Mouse, who was the medic who had skills Panther didn't have. The medic had skills Stag didn't have either, and he found another that appreciated him for his guarding skills he identified with.

They worked with that, Panther's killing and Stag's guarding with Mouse's healing. For over two years, that was what he became used to. Looking for Panther when Mouse healed him, hiding Panther from view when Mouse healed her, guarding Mouse while she healed herself and Panther killed the one who did it.

Shimura-sama ordering him to get close enough to Panther to assassinate her if needed confused him. Panther was not a threat, she was an assassin that killed those that threatened them or when ordered. Stag had seen her work enough to know that, and that while she did kill she also cared for him and Mouse and ensured they returned to the village because Panther refused to die in ANBU or let them do it on her.

Instead of getting even closer to the assassin, who probably wouldn't have like that given what she did to seduction agents that tended to not take no as an answer, Stag looked to see if anyone would try to use Panther against the village. It was really the only real reason he could understand his orders being given to him. If he removed that threat, Panther wouldn't be at risk of being used against the village and things could continue as they had been.

When he realized what he was doing, conflicting orders started to confuse him.

That was not something _Ne_ did, but it was something ANBU did.

ANBU had to be careful and check everything at least twice. Be sure it is a captain that gave you orders, ensure that is your mission partner and not an infiltrator, if you were given this mission how would you do it?

ROOT was unquestioning obedience.

He became confused and disturbed over his confusion of what he should be doing, uncertain what he should do about that or who to ask for clarification.

Panther, once she learned of where Stag had come from, demanded to know if he was still loyal to Danzō.

Stag, already confused and disturbed, explained to the ANBU captain he trusted who gave him his identity and was in range about his confusion and disturbing thoughts.

She listened to his first words spoken in years, then clarified a few things for him.

He no longer wished to blindly serve Shimura-sama, he had lost his respect for the man from him ordering Stag's captain's possible assassination without reasoning his ANBU training and conditioning accepted. It was why he was operating under ANBU procedures to clarify his orders and not _Ne_ ones.

Now, what did he want?

He… wanted to be Stag, Panther's Stag. It made more sense back then, he had been simply a bodyguard that the assassin relied on.

Panther thought about that, told him she didn't trust him that much anymore. Infiltrators were bad, especially in ANBU. He would have to prove himself to her, before he could be her guard again.

Stag agreed.

The pain was ignorable when she cut out his tongue to deal with the seal, and being watched closely for months was just her being the ANBU captain Mouse and then Mongoose relied on.

He remained Panther's Stag, something he had been given to hold on to and became in truth.

At the moment, Stag was a chūnin bodyguard that was buying groceries so Panther could teach him to cook for himself tomorrow. His name for right now was Kano, he was not allowed to manage or frighten the civilians to make this go faster, and he had to observe the pleasantries exchanged and attempt to copy them if he could.

Kano was sure he was failing badly even if he didn't quite know why, but Panther never seemed to mind too much when he did.

ANBU ninjutsu specialist Dragon dropping by and telling him Panther may have been kidnapped snapped Kano's usual patience with his social tasks for the day. Stag set the groceries he had been trying to buy from the now scared and surprised civilian merchant down and followed Dragon out of the market to go find his Panther again.

She needed her guard.

He would go back for them later, she never really cared when he did his social tasks as long as he got them done.

\V/

Sometimes Leaf shinobi could be a little too clever for their own good.

Natsumi was sure this was one of those times.

Shikaku had told her some of what others saw of her, but she hadn't expected a miscommunication of this magnitude to ever result.

From what she had managed overhear since waking up but pretending to sleep on as she was handled into wherever she was now, the Kurama clan was led by morons or willfully blind…or possibly had average intelligence gathering skills and very impressive imaginations that liked to run wild.

Even more, possibly all at the same time.

They thought she was only jōnin, a kenjutsu specialist who did not run kenjutsu specializing missions and therefore retired with maybe a desk job and a homemaker to top it off.

They also thought Naras really were that damn lazy.

The Kurama clan was wrong in that, but it didn't mean no one else thought it either.

Jōnin in Konohagakure no Sato didn't always mean you were that skilled. Sometimes you did something impressive, or did someone else a favor, or found a way to fill a need no one else could, or got a skill that was rare in the Leaf. Likewise, chūnin didn't always mean more skilled than genin but not as much as tokubetsu jōnin. Sometimes there just weren't enough slots to give someone jōnin rank. It was protection and a misconception all at once, even Natsumi had fallen for it a little.

Kurama Uroko should've been jōnin already, if you went by her skills in genjutsu alone.

Natsumi _sucked_ in genjutsu. Majorly.

She knew it, it was why she killed the genjutsu users first. After they were dead it was just habit to try breaking anything she had gotten caught in, then she moved on to killing everything else she was out there to kill.

The Kurama clan was full of genjutsu specialists, which had been another known fact. It had been why Natsumi's and Uroko's first meeting had taken place under Mikoto's red eyes.

Her kinjutsu might work as a bastardized work around in a pinch, but the fact remained Natsumi was crap at genjutsu.

Uroko had snared her in one, a minor one that didn't change the Nara's reality but made her a slight bit more trusting to the chūnin. She extended it to Kenta, hastily but she had, and the Leopard had jerked slightly when it took hold.

Animals and humans did not perceive reality in the same way, but Kenta probably did not realize what it was that was so strange to him at the time. If he became suspicious even under that it would have been aimed away from the Kurama instead of towards. Natsumi killed the genjutsu users first, so he didn't have enough experience with them to catch that for her.

Another Leopard joining them had made the chūnin uneasy. More targets to hold a genjutsu to also meant more ways to trip up.

The older kunoichi perceived it as a slight fear of Summons, not anything as suspicious as uneasy concern that another would be joining them for the walk.

Unkai could have hidden himself or Uroko might have done it for him, if a genjutsu user couldn't fight they had to know how to hide, Natsumi didn't care enough to figure that one out.

As to why they had done this? They seemed to think she always had the Kurama illusionary ability, and had used it instead of her own damned skills to get where she was. Her using it against Homura and Danzō was just her tipping over to the dark side and being reckless with it.

Somehow they thought she had gotten both elders accused of treason, one killed even if the other escaped the falsified investigation, and she went on her merry little way without even getting slapped on the wrist for false accusations.

Homura was going to _die_.

Fūinjutsu mastery? One didn't need to fight for a fūinjutsu mastery, you had to teach. It also wasn't viewed as a battle skill, only Jiraiya and Minato could fight with just ink at hand. The art was also characterized by flawless calligraphy, a discipline that didn't need combat use to hone but repeated practice and refinement on one's own.

A Summons Contract? Apparently it was something Jiraiya taught her to do out of some kind of pity for not being as skilled as the Yondaime, not something that required effort and massive amounts of chakra to work.

Kenjutsu mastery? Did she run missions for it? No? Couldn't be much of a master of the art, then.

Natsumi almost felt insulted by those assumptions about her. Ten years of ANBU work apparently didn't mean as much as it should anymore. She may also have skills from an early age she couldn't explain away; her variation of psychology, her original father's woodworking, her taijutsu, and her early administrative experience; but it had been years since she had been young enough for that to be suspicious. To top it off, this was the first damn time she had ever been remotely accused of getting to where she was by favors instead of her own skills.

She could see why, though.

Minato and Inoichi had shut down any attempts to talk to them about her from the Kurama clan, because they were her old genin teammates and knew perfectly well what was so strange about her.

The Hokage and the Head of T&I. The places anyone would go to see what kind of person and kunoichi Nara Natsumi was officially.

Jiraiya was in and out of the village too much to be gotten hold of often, Sakumo was already dead. The two principle teachers who might know her mentality well, one was gone frequently and the other was just gone.

Her own husband? Again, her husband. Shikaku also got a little grouchy when he had to deal with things he didn't like, and he didn't like the possibility of giving her up.

Her students? Of course they liked her, she was their teacher.

That had limited the Kurama clan in finding a clear, unbiased view of her skills and ability.

Where else could they go?

Not ANBU, as their Panther-sama was rather intimidating. Not the Uchihas, they tolerated her rather well for a non-clan member. Yamanaka and Akimichi clans were allies of the Nara one. Natsumi had tea parties with the rest of the major clan kunoichi and a few random others, they probably would only say good things about the Nara Lady in return for that.

Instead of swallowing their pride and being upfront about their concerns, they did the ninja thing. Observe until they thought they had the right idea and then made a plan. The fact they didn't have the right idea was either a measure of their stupidity or a measure of the security of the Leaf about both a clan Lady and one of their ANBU captains.

The Kurama clan had to make do with spotty intelligence on her for this fucked up abduction. It was wrong, and they knew some of it would probably end up being so, but something should be true even if some wasn't.

They used a known weakness for genjutsu, her pregnancy, and a soft spot for younger things against her. Which was correct, as a takedown or abduction it was almost impressive.

They also thought whatever she had done would wear off given enough time. Genjutsu failed after the charka supplied to them wore off, even Yin Releases faded after enough time, so whatever bastard Kurama thing she was doing had to fade eventually and then she wouldn't be so protected or respected. Then they could wrestle her out of the Nara clan, either with the Yondaime's permission or the Daimyo's.

How wrong they were was probably another measure of the misconceptions spread around about the Village Hidden in the Leaves' shinobi clans.

Naras were lazy and unmotivated shinobi that probably wouldn't bother to move out of an ambush because that would mean more work for them, everyone knew that.

Natsumi was a Nara, or at least thought of herself as one.

That meant Natsumi was lazy and unmotivated.

Her influence wasn't built up over years of effort and knowing the people involved, her skills weren't honed over the same amount of time. She was currently a fat, pregnant kunoichi who couldn't use chakra because her baby might get chakra poisoning from it. Therefore she wouldn't try to escape because it might harm them both, sitting tight and pinning her hopes on others rescuing her was the best she could do.

Right?

The kunoichi in question sighed, opened her eyes and took stock of where she was and what she had.

They had stripped her of her few obvious weapons, her ninja sandals, clan jacket, and her pants before dumping her in a cell bare of anything but a cot and a blanket.

Why her _pants?_ Something to barter with, or something to ensure she felt exposed and body shy?

She was kunoichi, it wasn't like she cared. The only one that normally saw her fully was her own damn husband, and his opinion of her was the only one she listened to.

Her claws had been cut, it would be a few hours until they had the strength again to cut into flesh or pry up iron nails. Pregnancy had only made the damn things harder, and they grew too fast to be controlled for long. The tips were hastily chopped off, they might think it was just something she mimicked from her Leopards and not something Summoning had impressed on her form. Two or three hours, four at the most, before she could start trying to free herself using them.

The only good thing so far? She was somewhat sure she was still pregnant, at least. She would like to get that double checked though.

Cobblestone cell. Old and cracked, probably either an old building in Konohagakure or not in the village at all.

She would bet the latter.

Six feet by six feet, about another six high. Tiny barred window set high, from what view she had she was probably just below ground level. Aspen or birch trees visible, more than likely north and east of the village by about seven or more miles.

Morning, she had been drugged to sleep all night.

Perfect. It was the middle of winter, what the hell were they thinking?

Probably that she would cave in faster if it would get her better conditions.

Which was very likely, at least at first. That might mean they would expect more of her, but she really couldn't afford to be stubborn right now.

Exposure to the elements and getting sick while pregnant would not be a good idea.

Rapid footfalls suddenly sounded, faint but getting much closer, telling the former assassin she was about to get a visitor.

She was being watched, probably. It hadn't been that long since she pretended to wake up.

Natsumi sat up fully, pulling the blanket around her bare legs and stomach then setting her back to the cobblestone wall that faced the cell bars she was held behind.

"Natsumi-chan! Lovely, you're awake." A middle aged kunoichi, by muscle tone alone if not the characterizing healthy beauty they were known for, beamed at the former assassin as she juggled a tray and moving a table in view of her. "You gave us quite the trouble, young lady. Ah well, it's all in the past now. Would you like some tea? I heard you like tea parties, you can have one with me. How does that sound?"

Like she should prefer to get an eye gouged out. Natsumi warily eyed the other woman, pressing her spine into frigid stone even as she took the small bowl like cup from her.

That was fucking creepy, no matter the genjutsu use to make her be perceived as more motherly that she was.

"Now, now, it's not polite to ignore your elders. I asked you a question and expect an answer."

Fear? Something, probably the genjutsu, told her to be afraid of not answering.

The former assassin wanted to laugh.

They were trying to force an ANBU captain's cooperation through fear. Why?

No, seriously. _Why?_

Any halfway decent kunoichi would ensure they couldn't be intimidated by fear, they kept pace with men that if ever turned on them could force just about anything out of. Male shinobi might have their dick measuring contests, kunoichi had contests of how many they could make fear them by a smile to prove who the biggest bitch was. She wasn't any pushover in those, even if Mikoto could kick her ass regularly.

In answer, instead of a verbal reply Natsumi showed the woman the ANBU captain's tattoo on the back of her left elbow.

"Yes, that was a little surprising. Such a vulgar occupation for a kunoichi."

The… _fuck?_

Illusions. They thought she used illusions and not her own skills to get to where she was.

The _Seduction_ Division, not the Sabotage Division.

Natsumi was officially insulted.

She was married, thank you very much. Had been for years. Like _hell_ she had the loose morals needed to cheat on Shikaku even if ordered to.

Getting a little fat maybe, but she was pregnant and that was excusable. Tsunade-sama said so.

Besides, not every kunoichi that went ANBU went in for Seduction. Panther and Fox were just two of them that hadn't. Horse might have, but she also switched after a while to Sabotage to be a medic.

Well, if they wanted to be this stupid Natsumi wouldn't correct them just yet.

She set the teacup down, then crossed her arms under her sensitive chest and pinned the old bitch with a look that told her she should be ashamed of herself. Those were Panther's fellow ANBU agents, even if they really, really liked sex and used that for the village. Even if they sometimes didn't take no for an answer and got annoying, enough to be reminded that _no_ from another ANBU or fellow shinobi meant _no_ even if it didn't mean they could take a no from their targets.

What a lot of people forgot was that ninja didn't just mean chakra using warriors of a sneaky type that could spit bullets made of their chakra nature and twist those elements into weapons to be used. They could also be simply shadow killers, without the fancy and almost magical skills.

Natsumi _specialized_ in that, so did the greater bulk of ANBU.

She may be three and a half months pregnant, unable to risk chakra use without possibly poisoning her baby from it, but that didn't mean she was helpless.

Nor did it mean being handed a weapon didn't make her sure she never wanted to be part of this clan.

The Nara clan head and his wife had a tea service that was delicate, fragile porcelain that could shatter by simply dropping it from a few feet up. It was also something designed to shatter into tiny pieces to prevent being used as a weapon by a very determined assassin. It would still cut up flesh if broken, but it would only make shallow injuries that could be ignored for a short time safely. Nobles used those kinds of tea pots and cups, so did shinobi that could kill with less quality sets.

That set the Nara couple had was a gift from Tsunade, for babysitting Nawaki for her during the very touchy years the Slug Princess beat the Konohagakure Hospital into a shape ninja could rely on.

This teacup?

Clunky and clay, fire hardened to be sturdy and a ceramic bowl set within to securely hold the watery tea. Cheap and easy to replace, if a little on the expensive side for something they handed a prisoner.

It would give her a few usable jagged edges that probably could only be used once or twice, in a pinch.

This qualified as a pinch.

Natsumi appreciated the slight warmth, but she wouldn't be drinking the tea. There was no telling what was in it besides tea, and she was already nervous enough about the sedative they had given her.

This old Kurama bitch didn't like vulgarity? She could show her _vulgar_.

After teasing Minato and Inoichi for years and trading tips with the Toad Sage, not to mention the dirty barracks humor she recalled as Fiona, she was an expert in ill-mannered speech and behavior.

It would also be something she could trade, her speech pattern for something warmer.

Natsumi didn't care enough about her swearing to be too bothered. She had to give that up before the baby was born anyways.

(ooo000ooo)

"Unkai-sama, that girl is a menace! She is rude and uncouth, a straight nightmare to deal with."

"Fumiki-san, please. We knew she would not cooperate early on." The Kurama branch head rubbed his graying temples, tired and exhausted after spiriting the kunoichi out of the village. He did not need this too. "Given the behavior of her unlawful husband, we knew she would be difficult and abrasive. Just give the girl time, she will accept her Kurama heritage even if we have to break her mind for her to heed it. She will give you an apology later on, I'll ensure it."

Once the little bitch was either accepting or broken, they could use her word to break her Nara clan ties and keep her. Even if it took years, they could just keep her here until she accepted her place and the clan's authority over her before allowing her back to Konohagakure.

Unkai should have known the girl was ANBU, she disappeared too often not to be. He had assumed she had been using illusions to cover her tracks for whatever it was she was getting up to, but even this would not set them back too much.

By blood, Natsumi was a Kurama. Even if they would be forced to give up the brat she was carrying, she would still help them boost the clan's health.

The Kurama clan was dying.

They knew it as well. It was hard to miss when one's clan started becoming too sick to fight or live as shinobi or their kekkai genkai started disappearing.

It wasn't entirely their fault, unlike what most of the Leaf thought of them.

Their reality bending illusionary bloodline ability could kill easily. Especially child users of it.

Fear activated their kekkai genkai, normally childhood fears of the dark or monsters that lived in it. That normally caused the few Kurama children that held some of their kekkai genkai to form monsters of their own to protect them. If those were not identified quickly enough and the ability suppressed until they were old enough to deal with that monstrous alter ego, those less imaginary and a bit more real monsters tended to turn on the children that dreamed them up.

That decimated the clan's children when it happened, because it wasn't just the child user that ended up killed.

Very, very rarely was there a Kurama alter ego that protected instead of frightened. The last one had lived during the founding of Konohagakure, and bought the clan a position on the Council of Clans before they lost it in the following problems of no kekkai genkai holder to protect the children long enough to find another.

With some of their own children ending up dead from their abilities, most of the others exhibiting health problems or defects and very little else, the Kurama clan had very few that wished to become clan members. Their genjutsu skills were impressive, true, but the Uchiha clan at least didn't cause half or more of any children born to be sickly and a rare few ticking time bombs.

The sheer difficulty involved with securing another Kurama kekkai genkai user that wasn't a threat to his or herself and could be trained up to be used for continuing the Kurama clan's efforts to be good Konohagakure shinobi made the news of a bastard child stronger than most of the rest of the clan rather galling.

What made it even worse was that they did not know if she had the bloodline ability or if she was using it.

Reality bending illusions could easily threaten the village, tearing it apart from the inside out if a Kurama was not careful.

Furthermore, they could not tell for sure. They kept getting blocked and turned away.

Nara Natsumi did not seem to have a set job she worked at, nor did she run missions regularly. She could have just been a homemaker, and why they could not investigate that was her husband's fault. There might even be an Intelligence job that required her moving around so frequently, they could not find out from the Head of T&I when they asked. She also could be using her bastard Kurama abilities to go into places she should not be able to go and influence people that should not have been influenced by someone like her.

Unkai had watched her for a whole year before trying to inform her husband what kind of threat she may be and that the clan needed to be sure of it before possibly allowing her to continue to be free of them. He could not find any reason that she had the influence she did, nor why she was as respected as she seemed. A jōnin kenjutsu user that did not use her kenjutsu skills for the village was baffling, and although she may work another job her abilities should have been able to explain what.

Alarmingly, she also went missing for long stretches of time and then seamlessly went back to what she had been doing. He might know now she was ANBU, but at the time that had been impossible to find out.

That made it nearly as impossible to view her work and see if it bent to her will alone.

Natsumi was erratic, difficult to track or anticipate, still getting into things she probably should not be, and was quite possibly a threat to the village they should be serving.

It seemed she might be more of a Kurama than the clan should have allowed. How it was any alter ego had not killed her growing up, or why it seemed she was so sane without the clan's guidance, was more than Unkai could figure out.

He had spent years with the previous branch head, trying and failing to save some of the Kurama children that displayed signs of an alter ego and helping care for the sickly ones. A bastard of the clan somehow avoiding the pitfalls of being a Kurama and yet holding the abilities of one was vastly aggravating to him.

He had known her mother, from a distance, and the previous clan head's decision to allow her the stupid option of trying to raise a Kurama child alone should have killed both of them if she had a child that could use any Kurama bloodline skills. Mesuji Mana had been insulted at what had been expected of her child in return for the clan's name, refused to allow something she called 'child farming', and left the clan with a written exclusion for her unborn child since they supposedly did not wish to be reasonable.

The Kurama clan probably should have gone back for the child when the elder kunoichi got killed, but it had not been important at the time and when they did look at her, her evaluations in genjutsu from the academy showed she did not have any real skill in the clan's specialization. The previous clan head wrote her off as an abnormality, healthy but not enough of a Kurama clan member to retrieve.

Unkai rather desperately wished they had gone back for the kunoichi as a child, those were at least biddable.

Somehow, there was a kunoichi of their village that held some type of Kurama illusionary ability who did not have the oversight and guidance of the clan she should have. Only one Village Elder had become suspicious of her so far, and had assisted them in removing the threat for the time being as long as they could control her eventually. Her rather petty fight against the clan had to stop, if they were to salvage anything from her that could be used.

Though the fallout may damage the clan slightly, if they returned the Nara heir when the brat was born that clan would probably not fuss much. Their clan head slept through the Council of Clan meetings, it was highly unlikely he really cared for the girl beyond being conveniently nearby and being unwilling to give that up.

Yes, they would demand a child or two from her in return for the proper teachings, but it wasn't like she could be doing anything important for the village.

"I will speak with her next, Fumiki-san. Take some time to recover your nerves."

"Nerves? My temper, more like." The matron of the children ward sniffed, casting an irritated glare down to where they were holding the bastard of the clan. "I had to promise another blanket in return for her to stop swearing me out. Take it, and inform me if she breaks that word of hers. I'm expecting it. She doesn't seem to have any restraint a kunoichi should have talking to her elders."

\V/

It took Akira four and a half hours, to run from the Leopard's Hisui Sukēru Jungle home and get help from the Toads of Mount Myōbokuzan to return to the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

Natsumi-sama's mate and littermate were appreciative of her work, and had already been alerted that she was in danger.

Her aid was appreciated anyways.

(ooo000ooo)

"Tsunade-sama?"

"An benzodiazepine, diazepam actually, which would work as a sedative rather easily with how much the little shadow's heart is pumping now. She's going to need a checkup for the baby, this isn't safe for pregnant women." The Slug Princess carefully peeled the steel away from the hollow tip, inspecting the amount the needle could store and how much might have gotten into the former assassin when stabbed. "Symptoms would've been drowsiness, especially injected into her bloodstream. I'd be surprised if she stayed awake for fifteen minutes. Normally shinobi don't attempt to get an immunity to any medical anesthesia used in the hospital. Waking in the middle of surgery isn't something even we like dealing with."

Minato combed his fingers through the insensible Leopard's fur, Akira had passed out from exhaustion after carefully handing over the senbon and reporting what she knew. "Well… now we have another suspect. Bear-sama of the Left, if you would. Please."

One of the apparent two ANBU Generals Natsumi was taking over for nodded, turning sharply on his heel to locate the errant Kurama branch head.

Shikaku stared a bit longer at the remaining Bear who just stared back levelly. Since when was there _two_ of them?

"Shikaku, we can't kill the entirety of the Kurama clan for this."

"Why not?"

Minato made a face, still petting his sempai's Leopard Summons. "Because that's _wrong?_ There probably are Kurama members that knew nothing of this. Putting the entire clan to death for a few kidnapping sempai will not be acceptable for more than half the village."

"Dear kami, you're who she got that stupid optimism from." The Nara clan head drew a hand down his face, wrestling with a slight horror and a twisted kind of amusement. "Minato, I _don't_ trust Kuramas and probably never will because of this shit. If I don't trust Kurama clansmen, I won't ask or require my clan to. If we don't, neither the Yamanaka nor Akimichi clan will. Three clans distrusting another is not a good recipe for a village that will protect each other."

"Point," agreed the Yondaime with a slight incline of his head, "but is slaughtering the _entire clan_ , all sixty-four of them of which fifty probably knew nothing of this, an answer? If we do that, there would be nothing to stop us from butchering another clan if they have a grievance they thought would never be heard. I would rather not, honestly. Yes, they'll pay for this and we'll make a very pointed suggestion that such behavior will end badly for those that try to take the problem in their own hands and solve it alone. Sempai should not have been removed from the village, not now or ever. Can you see a way to get revenge and call it good without dragging it on for years? Without pulling most of Konohagakure along with?"

"So what, you want me to _forgive_ them? For putting Natsu and the baby at risk?"

"Of course not." Minato looked almost insulted. "I won't forgive them it. I'm asking as your Hokage, what will it take for you to trust them again?"

"I didn't in the first place!"

" _Shikaku._ "

The shadow master scowled, but actually pushed his rather violent wish to murder the lot of them aside and thought about it. "I don't trust Kuramas, Minato. I haven't for a few years now."

"So… what if they're no longer Kuramas?"

Shikaku blinked. "What?"

"Do you distrust genjutsu users? If we get the Council of Clans to disband the Kurama clan, will you go after the former Kurama clan members anyways?"

"I have no problems with genjutsu users, just those that use it on Natsu." He thought about it a bit more. "Would you really do that?"

"The Kurama clan was a problem long before this, not just for sempai's troubles with them." Minato shrugged, looking rather tired for a twenty-four year old shinobi. "Inbreeding alone? They were in a backwards slide for years, and there are getting to be more and more health problems from their members than there should be. I've been getting complaints about it even in the few months of being Hokage, the Sandaime's been getting his own for years."

"Yeah well, that's what happens when you marry your cousin." Tsunade interjected sharply, scowling herself at the subject matter and driving the needle into the stones that walled the Hokage's office. "We've been trying to convince them for years to stop, I was hoping the little shadow's genetic connection to them and her health would show them a better way to try to find their kekkai genkai."

"Instead they tried to steal my wife and hide her from us."

"Well… I've been wondering about the effects of a genjutsu specialization and use on the human mind. Maybe the inbreeding and that made them a little… crazy."

"Err… Tsunade-sama, don't you use genjutsu?"

The Slug Princess scowled at the Yondaime. "Your point?"

"Mmm, apparently I don't have one. Shikaku, if you would summon the Council of Clans for me? We'll formally put them under a ban for a bit, lockdown within their compound and no one in or out, until sempai is either returned or the trackers bring her back. If she is not still pregnant when back, we'll add to it." Minato then smiled, it wasn't a nice one. "And if she's not still pregnant, we might just go for very strident methods of hammering our displeasure home for them before allowing them to drop their disgraced clan name."

Shikaku desperately hoped they wouldn't have to do that, even if he was irritated enough to want that to happen anyways. "Sure."

"Tsunade-sama, I know you don't specialize in animals, but-"

"I'll take the kitty to the Inuzukas and drop her off. The vet clinic can do more for her than I'll be able to." The sannin picked up the Leopard, still frowning if not as fiercely as before. "What are you going to do about their kekkai genkai?"

The Yondaime snorted and shrugged. "What kekkai genkai? Sempai was the closest they've gotten in two generations, and all she can do are those Yin release illusions with just enough Yang mixed in to mimic reality. If they're this desperate for it again, that means it has a possibility of fading away. If they were really that paranoid something about sempai was affecting us, then that shouldn't be something we should have to worry about. If it comes back, we'll take another look at it. For now, the Kurama clan will not be a clan of Konohagakure if this is how they behave."

"But?"

"But Murakumo and Unkai are the Nara clan's to deal with." Minato inclined his head to the head of the clan in question. "As well as anyone else involved with this. Ensure no one else will try to do something like it again, Shikaku."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

\V/

"Natsumi-chan! I have your-"

Fumiki dropped the tray, clutching at the hand that had driven a shard of something into her heart.

Natsumi ripped her shard of a teacup out, stepping over the dying kunoichi and leaving her to bleed out on the stone floor.

Three hours of getting nattered at by some old bitch of a kunoichi was not her version of fun. It took that long for her to dig out the nails keeping the cell door in place from the grout between cobblestones, in between visits from her oh so charming captors.

After the two hours it took for her claws to grow back enough to pry metal nails up, during which she got talked down to and lectured by a bastard of a branch clan head for her supposed transgressions.

Apparently, this Kurama had brought Natsumi breakfast or a late brunch to eat.

Why she thought she would eat their food when she wouldn't drink their tea was a question she wondered if she wanted answered. The former assassin sniffed at the corpse, knowing better than to linger to frisk her for something else to use.

Retired kunoichi, probably years ago, that mostly dealt with children now. There wouldn't be much she'd have on her that Natsumi could use or couldn't find better options for.

Besides, there still was a jōnin shinobi somewhere around. Unkai might just want to get into another argument with her again, so she needed to move. Sitting tight would only allow them the option of attempting to control her or her health in case of any opposition sent after them, and there was the fact they had _threatened her baby._

Jōnin illusion specialist or not, Unkai was now up against a former ANBU captain that had killed people for a living for more than ten years.

Pregnant did not mean she was helpless. She'd hammer that point home for Unkai.

As well as everything else that he should have learned before ever trying something this stupid.

First off, she needed pants that weren't bloodstained.

(ooo000ooo)

Kurama Unkai had a very strong sense of smell, unusual for anyone not a tracker or Inuzuka. It had served him well over the years he had been shinobi.

It didn't help him, he felt the pain first before smelling the blood.

Natsumi nimbly leapt up away from him, faster than a retired kunoichi should be able to move, but the damage was already done.

Unkai kicked out next, maneuvering his now mostly useless hands closer to his chest. The kunoichi only evaded, flicking out her hand and ripping the claws that had grown back too fast to be natural through the tendons in the back of his left calf.

With only a leg left that hadn't been neatly hamstrung, the branch head of the Kurama clan stared at her. "How did you get free?"

"Because you are a moron, of course. ANBU, what do you think they teach us there? How to fuck?" She smirked at him, barring too many teeth and her unnatural canines in a mockery of a pleasant expression. "I know you think that's what I did, but again, you're a moron. I've known how to get in and out of places I shouldn't be able to go for at least a decade by now."

Unkai tried flexing his fingers, but got no response from his hands he could use other than curling them up. She had ripped into the tendons on the back of both hands and his wrists in her first attack, when he had been asleep and trusting his fellow clan members to control her. "What have you done to the others?"

"Oh… sorry. Did you want them alive? Yeah… _no_. Sorry. Actually, I'm not really all that sorry about it." Natsumi shrugged easily, as if killing five members of the Kurama clan had not been too much trouble for her. "I suppose you're going to need a new plan, yeah? How about… lay there and think of how much a fucking, inbred shit stain you are?"

"Girl, you will regret this."

"No, no I won't. You see, you planned on using the fact we're not in Konohagakure to hide the fact I am an unwilling prisoner until you could convince me, in any way possible, to support the Kurama clan claim on my ass. I'm going to use it for justified homicide, as I'm pregnant and a little pissed off at the moment with the kidnapping and the not being in my clan compound anymore things making me supposedly panic about it." Brightly grinning at him, the supposedly retired kunoichi bounced a little on her toes. "How does that sound?"

"Like you are insane."

"I suppose that is how you see it." Natsumi nodded a little sadly, as if she really did regret his words to her. "But then again, you also were the moron that decided kidnapping a former ANBU captain that specialized in assassinations was a good idea. So, really, I don't care what you think of it."

Unkai felt his blood run cold. " _What?_ "

"ANBU captain. Who specialized in assassinations. For the last… thirteen? Almost fourteen years, I got cut short of that year mark a bit." She shrugged, waving one clawed hand as if it didn't matter at all. "My title is Panther, if you wanted to know."

"You _lie_ , Panther-sama is to be the next ANBU General."

"Yeah… and I don't think Bear-sama is too happy with this. Or his nii-san… or was it otouto? Seriously, that was fucked up. Two Bear-samas."

She was delusional. She had to be, there wasn't two Bears in ANBU.

He was in a tiny room with a crazy or delusional kunoichi, and almost completely crippled and at her mercy. "What do you want?"

"I want? I wanted to be left the _fuck alone_ , was that too much to ask?"

"Fine, leave."

Natsumi stared at him for a long moment, then she laughed at him. "Oh no, no. You are not getting out of this so easily. You're going to pay, for my Leopard alone if nothing else."

"Then I'll pay you, how much did the damn animal cost?"

"Animal? …holy hell, do you _really_ think a Summons is nothing more than a trained animal?" She wrinkled her nose at him, shifting slightly to keep him securely far enough away from her. "What rock did you just crawl out from under of? Kenta was not bought, even if I trained him."

"Ninken-"

"A Summons is not ninken." Interrupted the crazy kunoichi, scowling. "Dear kami, I thought you were retarded but that takes the cake. No, Summons. As in the Toad Sage Summons Toads. The Slug Princess Summons Slugs. Hiruzen-sama Summons Monkeys. Kashi-chan Summons Dogs. I Summon Leopards. Summoners bear marks from their Summons. See canines and claws for examples. You see a _pattern_ yet?"

Unkai grit his teeth together, no appreciative of being talked down to or the probably incorrect impromptu lesson. "You can summon a ninken."

Natsumi stared for a long moment. "Yeah… similar process. But tell me, where do these Summons live when not here? Do you see massive Monkeys hanging around the Hokage's Tower when Hiruzen-sama is there? Toads hanging around sensei or my kouhai? Where are my Leopards, then? A ninken is an animal trained up to function as both partner and ally who can become aware of oneself if what the Inuzukas can do with them is any measure, a Summons is an already fully aware individual that signs a Contract for mutual aid. You _killed_ one, _mine_ , and they're going to demand your hide in return if nothing else."

He merely sneered at her, trying another genjutsu.

"Stop it. I might have fallen for it once, twice and I'll give up my hitai-ate." The kunoichi rolled her shoulders, frowning at his imposed image of creeping darkness and removing it and his others set to buy him time by stabbing herself in the thigh with those claws of hers. "And honestly, I'm getting bored of this. Give me your other leg, Unkai-ji-san, so I can finish my work and head out home. I'll send someone back for your corpse, Tamika-sama will appreciate something to chew on no matter how inbred."

Unkai had gathered himself somewhat, under the cover of illusions, and tried to tackle her, but she shifted out of the way before he could connect.

"Yeah… part of the reason why I kill genjutsu users first is because it takes me too long to get to know someone's chakra signature to separate reality from fiction. I'm a little too slow in that for battle." She stomped on his right leg to hold it still, ripping out his right Achilles tendon with sickening ease. "I've had a year and then another _two freaking hours_ to get your measure, _that_ will never work on me again. Much harder to fight a pregnant kunoichi when you don't have a sedative poisoning her baby, isn't it?"

He attempted to smash his elbow backwards into her face, but missed.

"And now you're not even amusing enough to play with." Natsumi kicked him viciously in the ribs, rolling him over easily with the force behind it. "Now, stay there like a good piece of dead meat. You can think of how incredibly stupid you are or not, I don't care. You won't be living long enough to put any of it to use."

"And what will keep me from leaving before you can return?"

"Haven't you notice yet?" She drew her hand up the side of her tank top, pulling a beetle off her and showing him it. "Aburames are very good trackers, they only need something of who they track and a general direction. She found you first, they know you took me."

A kikachu beetle scuttled around between her clawed fingers, seeming content with her new location in the kunoichi's hands.

"You failed, and your clan will pay for it. I hope you had a backup plan, Unkai-ji-san, because if not you and your clan head are going to die. Possibly a few more. I wonder what will be left of your clan by that point? I've already killed a few of you myself. There can't be that many Kuramas left anymore, not if you lost the clan council seat you once held before I was even born."

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi was happy to see Shibi, but she was much happier to see Rin with the recovery team and let him pass her with only a nod and a beetle exchanged between them.

"Rin-chan! Do me a massive favor and tell me my baby's still alive."

The young chūnin medic looked rather alarmed at that request, and hurried her steps to overtake even Kakashi. "Was or is there a problem, Natsumi-sama?"

"Other than getting hit with a sedative I don't know, not really. I did get up to some physical activity, but I should've been safe enough with that. Call me paranoid, if you must."

Natsumi held still for the little medic's checks, watching Kakashi suspiciously kick one of the dead bodies she hadn't bothered trying to move around.

Obito carefully skirted around the other half of the man, warily. "Wow… got a little pissed off?"

"A bit. Don't piss off kunoichi, it's not worth it. And just to confuse you, I love razor wire. Kashi-chan, I need you to find my pants, please."

Her silver haired prodigy of a brother hesitated, giving her a strange look. "Your pants?"

"Don't ask. I'm annoyed by this as it is."

He shrugged, but instead of finding them himself he nicked then flexed his fingers to Summon one of his own Dogs.

Natsumi got distracted from the little pug puppy he got by Rin straightening up. "I don't see a problem, Natsumi-sama. But if you are that worried, you maybe shouldn't walk back to the village until Tsunade-sama can check you over."

"How _exactly_ are we going to get her back to the village if she can't walk there?" Obito asked of the medic, gesturing around them. "Shibi-sama was supposed to secure the culprits while we got her home."

"That won't be a problem, Uchiha-san." A Mongoose masked ANBU agent spoke up, sliding into view along with a Stag masked fellow. "How are we to carry her, Nohara-san?"

"I'm sorry, but bridal style. It will put less pressure on her stomach."

Stag merely nodded, lifting the Nara's Lady up and ignoring her expression.

"Can we at least wait for my pants? My ass is _cold_."

\V/

"Mitokado-sama, we seem to have a small problem."

"Oh? How may I help, Hokage-sama?"

"We have a problem with you." Minato clarified, moving far enough into the Village Elder's office for ANBU to get in. "Danzō's traitorous end was supposed to be a _secret_ , telling the Kurama clan about it is breaking the Sandaime's decree of S-ranked secret to be taken to the grave. Not only that, but if his methods got him executed; why did you think you could replicate said methods enough to remove the kunoichi that caused him to get killed for being a traitor without getting slapped with a traitor's sentence yourself?"

Homura stiffened, flicking his eyes from one ANBU mask to another. "I do not know what you mean, Yondaime."

"You fed them just enough information to make them suspicious of my sempai. In bits, in pieces, in incomplete parts. Taking advantage of the gaps they had in any intelligence they could gather on her, twisting the truth to make it sound sinister enough to need her immediate removal." The blond shrugged, leaning up against the wall as the elder was placed in chakra inhibiting cuffs. "Just enough to prey on their fears of a Kurama clan member that held a full version of their kekkai genkai was running riot over the village, and tempt them into taking her when the legal channels became barred to them. I don't like it when my clans are used against each other, because this is now a massive mess I have to clean up. I have enough work as is, I don't need you adding to that."

"Minato-sama, I do not-"

"Don't bother. I don't care." The younger shinobi informed the elder. "You endangered not only my village, but a few of my clans, a few of my _friends_ , my _sempai_ , and _my godchild_ with this. Since Shikaku will get Murakumo and sempai got Unkai, I get you."

"What-"

Minato drilled a fist into his jaw with all the frustration this situation caused him, cutting the soon to be former Village Elder off.

Homura sprawled out on the ground, arms still affixed behind him and unable to cradle the probably shattered jaw.

ANBU didn't bother to try picking him up.

"We're going to be short an elder, Mitokado, guess who _won't_ be alive to see the new year?" He smiled, frigid and cold and every inch a killer their lives made him into. "We are thankfully going to gain one, Hiruzen-sama has agreed to take up the post you are going to _so unfortunately_ leave empty very soon."

\V/

Unkai lived just long enough to see his clan head executed by Shikaku and his clan disbanded under the disproval and scorn of the Council of Clans, then the Dogs took Akira and him into the Summons realm.

The Toads refused to do it, and Natsumi was okay with that.

She was sure, a lifetime ago, she would have been appalled at the end she forced the former Kurama clan head into. Kenta deserved recognition and vengeance, though, and she was no longer Fiona.

Right now, she hoped Tamika-sama enjoyed her snack and wondered if she would get a half-eaten head on her doorstep eventually.

"So… this was inanely stupid."

"Yeah, it was."

Natsumi winced, rubbing her left arm. He sounded pissed still. "I'm really sorry, Shika."

"You should be, I almost had a heart attack in Minato's office when he said he couldn't feel your seal. _Kidnapping?_ While pregnant no less." Shikaku drew a hand down his face, staring at the ceiling. "I swear, one more damn problem with Village Elders or anyone else that will attack you at home and I will tie you to the bed."

Which would be easy for him, because they hadn't quite left the thing yet.

Natsumi had gotten checked over by Tsunade then demanded to go home. Mostly for the space to think.

Minato tore apart a clan for her. With the clan council's backing maybe, but still.

Instead of an embittered Uchiha clan in a few years, it had been a panicking Kurama clan now. Instead of one sole survivor of that clan's end, there were disgraced former clan members wandering around the village. They would need to be watched, to prevent any disgruntled retribution from happening.

_Again._

Should she have at least poked that clan a few times over the years? Avoiding it had, if not helped, done nothing for this problem they had.

Natsumi had seemed to take on the breath and width of Konohagakure's problems, so there might have been something she could do.

They _had_ been family, in a twisted, looped way. She might not have been acknowledged as one of them, but if she had their measure or they had hers this would not have happened.

"If you really want blood family so damn badly, _I'll_ give you them. Just… no more Kuramas, wife mine." Shikaku scooped her to his side with a heavy sigh. "And no more distant cousins that will stab you in the back, please."

"Yeah… that wasn't fun. What happened to her, anyway? I didn't see her at the former Kurama clan sentencing."

"You carved up her face, Natsu, she didn't get to a medic in time to prevent scarring. With it all public, everyone knows what she did by the look of those scars. She got stripped of her hitai-ate for sabotaging a fellow and higher ranking kunoichi, and being involved with a kidnapping of a fellow clan's member against your will."

Natsumi hummed, not remotely sorry for that. "Awesome. We owe Shibi a gift, for coming out to get me."

"And Fugaku."

"Fugaku?"

"He… uh, ignored a few comments of mine. And replaced the kitchen table."

She pushed up far enough to see his face, he wasn't quite looking in her direction. "What happened to the kitchen table to the point it needed replacing?"

"It was taken as evidence."

"Of?"

"The claw marks you left in said former chūnin kunoichi's face."

Natsumi frowned, still confused. "Aren't things taken as evidence given back after an investigation?"

Shikaku scratched his chin sheepishly. "Well… we're not getting that one back."

"Why not? I was rather fond of that table."

"I may… have thrown said former chūnin kunoichi into it when she tried to escape custody."

"And _broke_ it?"

"And broke it."

"Well… okay then." She would still miss that table.

Natsumi could not catch everything. She could try, but it was human to fail.

She failed in this, but that didn't really concern her. They tried to threaten her marriage to Shikaku and almost poisoned her unborn baby.

As far as she was concerned, it sucked to be them and she no longer cared.

\V/

"I was gone a week."

"You always leave at the worst times, sensei." Natsumi curled her lip at what she was eating, but stuck another spoonful in her mouth anyways. _Yogurt_ , at least she had preserves somewhere to cover the sour milk tang. "You shouldn't be surprised you miss out on things."

Jiraiya shoved a hand through his hair, looking rather harassed. "I left Konohagakure a _week_ ago, neko-chan. How did you get kidnapped and returned in that little time?"

"Because Uchihas are that damn awesome and I mostly rescued my own ass."

"I… you know what? No, I'm not going to have this conversation with you." The sannin rubbed his face and took a big inhale, dropping his hands with the exhale. "Nagato agreed to come visit for the hime's last month of pregnancy. Yahiko agreed not to come. Konan wants you to know she really appreciates the exchange, and has a few more long-term questions for you. Kisame wants to know if he can come visit too."

"Kisame?"

"Fishy has questions, apparently. And would like for us to watch for any more former Swordsmen of the Mist and if possible send them his way."

"Eh, fine. Whatever. They've got to obey Konohagakure law while they're here. Remind big and blue." Natsumi shut the cupboard, scowling. "Damn it Shika."

"What?"

"He always eats the cherry preserves. I don't know why he sneaks it, I'd buy more if he ever asked. But he leaves little amounts behind when he almost finishes off the jar and never tells me we need more."

"Want me to pick you up some?"

"Naw, it's fine. There's strawberry in the other cabinet."

"I thought you didn't like milk." Jiraiya asked as he watched her add the fruit to the yogurt container she was eating from. "Or most of what is made from milk."

"I don't."

"So…"

"I get cravings, apparently. Can't tell when I'm hungry, but I can get cravings. There is no justice in the world."

"So, you crave yogurt?"

"I crave butter pecan ice cream, which doesn't exist anymore. Why I can recall the taste of that after all these years is beyond me." Natsumi stabbed her yogurt a few more times, slightly irritated. "Tsunade-sama said to take what I crave and find a healthy alternative, because the cravings weren't really what I need but probably the closest the body thinks I need. Ice cream was made from milk, so yogurt instead."

"Ah." Jiraiya scooted away from her, eyeing the spoon she almost bit in half.

She glared at him over the metal sticking out of her mouth.

"Seriously though, I would like your opinion on something."

"What?"

Jiraiya set a book between them. "This."

Curious, Natsumi set her yogurt aside and picked it up. " _The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi_."

"I'm getting it published."

"I don't know much about books, sensei." She flipped it open anyways, because something about it nagged her. "I don't think I could help much."

"But you know more than a few languages, and can edit it for me."

Natsumi blinked at the name of the main character. _Naruto?_

"Why don't Minato and I read it over for you? We can give you a review of it, too. He needs something to relax with after work, and you know how much he loves to read."

Her kouhai's firstborn was named for a character in _sensei's book?_ She was going to ensure her godson was named for a _ramen topping?_

Oh… dear… _kami_ …

Well, given Minato's other efforts to name things? It was probably for the best.

Kushina wouldn't argue, she could do _gourmet_ ramen in her own kitchen.

"That'll work. Thanks."

Natsumi wondered if Jiraiya would try arguing the naming of their godson or not.

Didn't he also later write porn? It was Kakashi's favorite book series, right?

Well… something to look forward to.


	23. On the Knife's Edge

_If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble._

_\- Elbert Hubbard_

* * *

Biwako hosted the next tea party much to Shikaku's massive relief, even if he didn't particularly want to let his wife out of his sight anymore.

Eight clan heads and their significant others; the Hyūga branch head and his wife, the Uchiha clan head and his wife, the Naras, the Yamanakas, the Akimichis, Shibi and his mysterious Lady, Tsume, and Eri. Which didn't include Hiruzen, Tsunade, or now Minato and Kushina. There were also a few other shinobi that didn't run clans; Kizashi and Mebuki, Jiraiya, and assorted clan medics that swung in and out as their Ladies got settled in under the Slug Princess' experienced eye.

It did include the assorted children and their teams. The complete roster of Cell Nine, the Yondaime's Team Seven, Mikoto's Team Three, and Kizashi's Cell Seventeen added to Naomi, Itachi, Hana with her three puppies, Midori, with babies Neji and Shino to top it all off.

Twelve women, of which eight were pregnant and seven of that were kunoichi, in the same tea room made it a little cramped.

They were short a kenjutsu master of a Dog Summoner, as well as a Snake Sannin that wasn't quite as missed, but that was almost ignorable with the press of others that seemed to be perfectly content with wandering through the Sarutobi compound.

All that did not include what ANBU agents were currently following the pregnant clan kunoichi around, probably something that would not stop anytime soon given Natsumi's kidnapping scare just weeks ago.

Natsumi hid her smirk behind the very pretty teacup Biwako gave her to hold the gyokuro tea she was serving. As wife of the Sandaime, she could afford a slightly more expensive type of tea than Natsumi could. Which might actually, if they kept passing around hosting duties instead of letting the former assassin do it, end up being a way the kunoichi would try to outclass each other in.

This was _loud_ , nearly packing in the Sarutobi clan head's home and spilling out a bit into the compound.

Kakashi might be arguing with Obito, but the both of them ganged up on Ibiki when the interrogator chipped something nasty in. Koichi merely gave his teammate a look to imply he deserved it, grabbing Gai and pulling the taijutsu user to Asuma and Nawaki's conversation that seemed to be about ninja tools that you didn't throw. Midori was enchanted with Hana, or rather her puppies, and followed the older girl around with a pudgy toddler hand fisted in one of the three Haimaru brother's fur. Kuromaru kept his single eye on the puppies, but they seemed to realize that and were trying to show their alpha's canine partner they were being careful with the silver haired girl. Naomi and Tenzou were showing Itachi some chakra tricks, aided by Rin and Kurenai with Anko watching on in fascination.

The male shinobi that helped Hiruzen and now Minato run the village were embroiled in their own conversation merely a room away; Jiraiya was laying something out for them, getting prompted by her own husband or Inoichi every now and again for more detail or Minato for additional points. Hiruzen was more interested in whatever Hizashi, Fugaku, and Kizashi were talking about and Shibi merely watched the conversations without chipping in himself.

"Neko-chan?" Eri prompted her, and Natsumi realized she had gotten distracted admiring her husband's ass through the doorway again.

"Sorry. What did you want, Eri-kaa-chan?"

The older civilian woman in the room gave her a look to tell her the object of her distraction was noticed and while amusing, it wasn't the time she should be doing that. "Are you and the baby alright? From the… _difficulty_ you two went through?"

"So far, at least." Natsumi informed her honestly, lowering her cup. "Tsunade-sama informed me and Shika that any complications wouldn't be obvious until they develop, so I've got nearly weekly checkups to do for the next month or two."

"And it still surprises me I don't have to find you for those." The Slug Princess chipped in dryly as she finished checking on Mebuki's swollen stomach. "It's almost disturbing, because I know you have issues actually swinging by the Hospital after receiving any injuries."

"That was just me, not me _and_ baby Shika." Sticking her nose in the air at the medical sannin, the former assassin turned back to Eri. "It's different, much different. I'm being good, I swear."

"Baby _Shika?_ " Kushina parroted, blinking at her in bemusement. "Why are you calling the baby by your _husband's_ pet name?"

"If you never noticed, the Shika-Ino-Chou trio was more of a name thing before my hubby turned it into a team build." Natsumi shrugged, accepting the offer of a refill from Biwako's teapot. "I know perfectly well my baby will be named Shika-something, like how Mayuko's will be Ino-something and Momo's baby will be Chou-something. Shikaku's, Inoichi's, and Chouza's tou-samas are all similar, Shikai-sama, Inosa-sama, and Chou-sama."

The redhead stared, mouth hanging open. "You totally _suck_ , all of you. We're still looking at baby names, and you've got most of it _already!_ "

"Shibi did it too! It's not just us." Natsumi sniffed, waving a hand at the quiet Shiori holding newborn baby Shino. "You jump on this bandwagon now and I'll harass you for wimping out, hime."

Besides, Minato had yet to read Jiraiya's book. They'd have a name for their baby the moment he did.

Shiori tilted her head, probably in question.

"No, your clan was already on it long before I noticed. I like Shino-chan's name, it fits both him and your clan."

The Aburame kunoichi inclined her head slightly, accepting a new teacup from Mikoto as she did so. With baby in hand, she had limited options with what to do with her cup after drinking her tea and was forced to hand it off to the accommodating Uchiha genjutsu mistress to her left.

"And I know your clan doesn't really like all the fussing normally done over things like this, but you are invited whenever we do hold one." Natsumi grinned at the kunoichi, even if she was slightly jealous the woman already had her baby and could fuss over him. "Just pop by, we won't mind."

Shiori gave an answering shrug and nod, all while continually distracting baby Shino with a butterfly fluttering just out of his reach.

Seriously. Cheaters, the _whole_ clan of them. They had built in baby distractions with their clan skills.

"I have a name, or rather two in case of either gender." Mikoto informed the group smugly, picking up the cup she had set down to serve the Aburame's Lady.

"We kind of have to, the baby's due in two months." Mebuki spoke ruefully as she was helped back upright, giving Misaki and Mayuko a thankful smile for the aid. "Sakura. I'm hoping she'll have Kizashi's hair color to make it fit her."

Well, sort of. Pretty name for a girl with bright pink hair, who might end up as Tsunade's best apprentice again and learn to shatter mountainsides with a pinky finger.

"I like it, it already fits with how your husband styles his hair." Momo reassured the retired kunoichi who she might be sharing a due date with, flicking a hand at said redhead jōnin shinobi.

Kizashi still had his hair styled out in spikes like the cherry blossom his daughter would be named for, and it was still almost as red as the sole Uzumaki's in the room. He also looked to be very unnerved from somehow attracting kunoichi attention in mass as he had.

Tsume suddenly groaned, flopping back to sprawl over Kuromaru's back and side. " _Kami_ , I might have to pick another name if this one's a girl. I was kinda hoping not, I still have a male one from Hana's birth."

Natsumi planted her face in the hand not holding one of Biwako's teacups, trying not to snicker.

"What?"

"I said _nothing_."

The Inuzuka alpha bared her teeth in a good humored snarl. "Seriously woman, what?"

"You aren't even going to pick your baby it's own name? You're just going to use whatever you didn't for your daughters?" Sighing, the Leopard Summoner knocked into the other kunoichi gently so they didn't spill the hot tea. "I mean, I already knew you and your clan was bad with naming things but that takes the cake, Tsume."

"Bite me."

"Shika might protest that, sorry. I can stab you instead."

Kushina snorted, giggling and putting her tea down. "Oh kami, _don't_. We'll have even more rumors circling about your kidnapping and what was done by who."

"Mmm, the latest one had fifteen dead bodies strew about and one pregnant Nara still tossing body parts around when the recovery team reached her." Mikoto tacked on, smirking. "Aside the Nara clan revolting for their Lady being stolen and slamming the former Kurama clan members into whatever surface was available by their own shadows, which most of that rumor was true."

"It was _five_ dead bodies and _one_ disabled jōnin! They were dead, and or disabled, well before Shibi came out with Team Seven to pick me up." Protested Natsumi loudly, a little affronted. "I do _not_ play with targets after their dead. That's just crazy in a bad way… and _what_ was true?"

"The Nara clan assisted the Uchiha MPs in restraining and gathering up all the former clan members. They got a little… disgruntled they weren't allowed to kill them." As the wife of the Uchiha clan head, who did control the Military Police, she had the best idea of what had gone on while Natsumi was MIA. "Shikaku wasn't the only one to break something using a member of that clan, or just straight out break a Kurama member before we secured them. And jōnin kunoichi myself or not, I _never_ want to see Aikido-sama that irate ever again. Your in-law was a little terrifying, Natsumi. I think she had some of the veteran MPs cowering slightly."

"Of course she did." Eri sniffed haughtily. "That clan got in the way of the grand tradition of grandparents awaiting grandchildren, what resulted was all their fault. If I couldn't do it, Aikido-sama had to make up for me and my dear Sakumo being unable to help."

Biwako nodded along, serving Tsunade some tea for herself now that the medic was done checking each pregnant kunoichi in reach. "True, I would've done the same thing."

Natsumi decided this was probably a bad subject to discuss, especially since they were probably being listened in on by every male there. She could almost feel the _doom_ they were contemplating, which would result from anyone getting in the way of the Sandaime's wife receiving her grandchildren. Koichi was looking rather pale over the subject from what she could see of his face out in the yard, too.

"Right, so… quick subject change. I've got things to hand out."

"Like that wasn't obvious at all." Kushina blinked, then frowned at the Nara kunoichi in a puzzled manner. "Wait, _what_ things do you have to hand out?"

"You said you wanted a crib, right? Most of them were done years ago, and with baby bellies now showing I really should've handed them out before this. I handed a few off when I knew, but a few more I kind forgot about where they were stored and had to dig out of my woodworking shop. _Shika!_ Come here, I can't really get up."

Natsumi might have thought she was fat before, now her belly was a bit more distended and her stomach muscles were loosening up to make way. That made getting up a small issue for her, if nowhere near as bad as Mebuki and Momo were with two months left on their own pregnancies. It did annoy her slightly, that she sometimes needed a boost up from laying down or sitting back.

"Cribs?" Momo repeated, looking rather curious at this change in subject. She had been looking a little unnerved by the previous one, and probably didn't want the conversation to turn back. "What cribs?"

"Natsumi can carve wood, Momo-san." Misaki supplied, balancing baby Neji as he sat before her with a few toys while Shikaku ambled over to see what his wife wanted. "She is also one of Konohagakure's fūinjutsu masters, who specializes in security seals."

"Come on, seriously? Who all knows already? I know I told Jiraiya-sensei, but that was supposed to be it."

"I knew and told Minato and Mikoto." Kushina brightly confessed without an ounce of guilt, gleefully awaiting her own baby's crib and almost squirming in place. "She probably told Fugaku, I told her just after Itachi-chan's birth."

"Shibi told me." Tsume shrugged as she tacked on the culprit from her end. "He probably told Shiori or she found out the same way he did."

Shiori merely shrugged herself, completely unhelpfully.

"We can see it. Hisana-sama was greatly appreciative when Hiashi-sama informed her of it." Misaki smirked instead of smiled at the former assassin, who was looking rather aggravated.

"Know _what?_ " Mebuki prompted with a bit of confusion when all Natsumi did was glare around and dig into Shikaku's pockets, much to the man's own bemusement.

"A fūinjutsu master that can carve cribs and is as paranoid as Natsumi?" Mayuko started smirking a bit herself, knowing exactly how Panther-sama usually operated let her guess rather well. "Aa, that's a brilliant idea."

Said fūinjutsu master stuck her tongue out at her fellow former ANBU captain, drawing out the scrolls she told Shikaku to stick in his scroll pouches for her. "So you all suck majorly, but I do care for you all so you still get them. Mostly to clear out the stock of things I've already got, because I'm running out of room. Momo-chan, you get cherry wood. Mayuko, oak. Tsume, you get a black pine because I made Shino-chan's white to make it a little easier on them if his bugs chew up his bed once or twice. Kushina-hime, Hashirama wood. Which was a lot more difficult to learn how to carve than it should've been."

"Well, this makes sense." Momo accepted her scroll with a small, pleased smile. "I did wonder why Chouza wouldn't let me buy a crib for the baby's nursery yet, but let me get a cherry wood dresser for it."

Natsumi blinked at her a few times, then turned a less than pleased look on her husband.

Shikaku shrugged, an innocent look plastered on his face. "What? You never said _not_ to tell them, and you did inform everyone what their wood types would be long before this."

"Again, you all _suck_."

"We got a cedar wood crib, Momo-san. She is very good with wood and seals." Mebuki informed the pregnant civilian woman helpfully.

"Hana still loves her rosewood bed, mostly because it's big enough for her and her puppies and they don't have to sleep in the basket for them." Tsume spoke to the ceiling, wryly smirking at the woman responsible for that. "She might need a new one soon, though, it's getting a bit cramped with her and three young dogs all piled in."

"Speaking of, Itachi-kun keeps finding little compartments in his." Natsumi blinked innocently herself at Mikoto's arch look. "He inspects the bed he has and then finds more, then uses them. Finding his secret stash of pocky is harder than it should be. The one that pops out of the uchiwa fan when the red part is pressed is his favorite so far."

"I knew your gaki was a genius. I thought I would have to tell him about those. Wait… wait, _Mebuki?_ You know? _How?_ "

"Kizashi maintains there is no way you are just a kenjutsu and fūinjutsu mistress." The blonde woman informed the jōnin kunoichi with a smirk. "He inspected it, then got Ibiki-san to check it out and tell him what the seal was for."

"True, very true." Mayuko informed her in return with a smirk of her own. "She and I actually used to share a rank, and it had nothing to do with chūnin or jōnin anything."

Natsumi pointed a finger in her face. "Shush Foxy."

"And now for the rest of us that would like to know what the… _heck_ this conversation is about?" Tsunade asked, double checking herself in the range of young ears.

"The cribs are sealed to protect the children placed within them." Shikaku told her, ignoring his wife tugging on him to get him to shut up. "Natsu's been doing it for years. Stop it, you know perfectly well the fact you tried to sneak it by us all would mean you would fail. Wife of mine, we're _ninja_."

Natsumi pouted, sulking a bit. "Someone had to not know, it's no fun if everyone is in on it."

Eri turned to her questioningly.

"Midori-chan is in Kashi-chan's old crib. Think about it, Eri-kaa-chan. It was the first one I ever sealed."

"So… say Koharu-sama ever tried to pick her up out of there?"

The former assassin blinked a few more times. "Err… I'd owe Koharu-sama a big apology?"

"Yes, yes you do neko-chan. You are very lucky she has kunoichi reflexes and could save herself from getting smashed through a wall."

"The seal might need touching up, then. It's been more than ten years since it put it there, and it should've reacted more violently than… uh…" Natsumi coughed awkwardly, cringing slightly away from the civilian woman pinning her with a stern look. "Heh… _whoops_ … well, that's why they're _not_ lethal seals?"

"Fix it."

"Yes ma'am." She blinked, then looked at her stomach. Which was starting to bulge out no matter what she did. "Erm… that might take a bit."

"You have an otouto who is just as skilled as you that can help, that is no excuse."

"Minato or Kakashi-kun?"

"Either will work."

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi glared at Kakashi. "You _massively_ suck. All on your lonesome, too."

"Orders are orders, nee-chan. This is not my fault." The prodigy informed her haughtily, packing up a complete compliment of ninja tools to take with him. "Since we need more shinobi in the south, that would mean the rest of us that aren't either injured or pregnant have to go."

"Yeah, but you and my own damn chūnin are deploying… yes, I know two of them aren't chūnin anymore but still." Which really sucked, because freaking them out with craving demands was kind of hilarious. They were pretty damn fast with getting what she wanted, too. "And you're leaving me with this little problem. If I didn't know better I'd say you got yourself deployed to stick me with it."

"I expect it solved by the time I get back." Kakashi informed her brightly, probably grinning under the half-face mask that was protecting his nose from the dust he was disturbing. Brat. "I also expect, if we don't come back in time, to hear all about your baby, nee-chan. I want to hear the moment you have it, what it is and the name, and that you're alright."

The former assassin snorted at his demand. "If Jiraiya-sensei doesn't send you word and Minato doesn't send you word, or Hiruzen-sama doesn't send Koichi word and he send you it too, how the hell do you expect me to send you word? I'll probably be way too happy to no longer be fat to think of my baby otouto out in the cold swamps fighting for the Leaf."

"And having your own gaki."

"And having my own gaki." She reaffirmed easily with a smirk. "Minato probably will send something, I'll tell him to. When you get something, send it on to Gai so my other gakis do know if no one thinks of them."

Nodding his silver head, he dumped the sealing scrolls that contained his camp supplies onto his bed to pack that away after inspecting it to ensure it was still good. "Will do. So… have fun with kaa-chan?"

"You're not gone yet, Kashi-chan." Natsumi grinned viciously, showing off her canines. "You can still be part of that conversation."

Kakashi made a great show of drawing out the unsealing of his camping supplies, snagging the tent to inspect for either holes or water damage. "Little busy, nee-chan. I'm sure you can handle it. You're a girl, kaa-chan's a girl, and Midori-chan's a girl. It'll be all like a girly sleepover kind of thing Rin likes to do with a few of her fellow medic kunoichi."

"Coward."

"Practical. I know perfectly well how venomous girls can be, it's best handled by another girl."

"Kashi-nii!" Midori hollered as Akira wandered into his bedroom with the toddler on her back, gripping the feline around the neck as they moved.

The Leopard, back from the Summons' realm through Kakashi's Dogs help and would probably likely go back that way once Natsumi was done being pregnant, didn't really seem to mind being utilized as a very strange horse for the silver haired girl. She almost looked rather amused, in a slightly depressed kind of way.

Kenta would've harassed her for it, but Midori would've gotten him to do it for her instead. So long as it wasn't involved with his whiskers her first Leopard would've done it too. Natsumi felt the same way her Summons did, she desperately missed that old, grouchy cat.

This fourteen-year-old Kakashi, freshly jōnin ranked and fast becoming known as a little bastard of one, instantly put down the canvas and picked up his baby sister. "Hello, Ri-nee. Would you like to help me?"

When the little girl nodded, always fascinated with what her brother was doing, he handed her the tent stakes and sat her on his bed so they could keep an eye on her play.

Midori got dirt all over it knocking the dull stakes together, but it wasn't like he would be sleeping there tonight.

Natsumi snorted, rubbing at the side of her nose carefully. "You little _sap_."

He stuck his nose in the air and picked up the rope so the toddler didn't knot it all up. "I have no idea what you mean by that, nee-chan."

"Mi-nee?" The youngest Hatake asked, offering the older kunoichi one of her stakes to play with.

She took it with a gentle smile in thanks, staunchly ignoring Kakashi's pointed snort in return. "I totally blame you for that nickname."

"Of course you do, it was my fault. But it's so cute, nee-chan. Cute and fitting."

Midori called Natsumi beautiful sister, the toddler had picked up on her calling him sweet brother, and they called her jasmine sister in return. Kakashi had somehow taught the younger girl to do it all before Natsumi got pregnant but after she ran Koichi's first saboteur mission.

How was completely beyond her, the baby had only recently started talking to them rather than at.

She carefully knelt down next to Kakashi's bed, having been drawn into a very strange miniature swordfight with the little girl using the stakes.

Eri tried not to snicker, but the smirk on her face was firmly in place when she came in to give the young jōnin clean clothing to pack. "Well, this looks… pleasant."

Akira, who had ducked under the new jōnin's bed rather than be in the way for packing, rumbled a purr that caused Midori to look for where she was in surprise.

Kakashi took the load of clothing from her, setting them to one side so he could seal them away piece by piece for easy locating later. He currently didn't have the room to do it right then. "I blame nee-chan."

"Yeah right, you offered the stakes."

"Children, behave." Cutting that argument short, the civilian woman plucked Midori out of the mess of gear expertly and handed the former ANBU captain back the stake she had a very good grip on. "Let's leave your nii-san to his packing, Ri-chan. It's time for lunch anyways."

The only Hatake male alive paused when his mother was far enough away, checking to _ensure_ the older woman was out of range before helping Natsumi get back up to her feet. "Are you sure you can do it, nee-chan? I don't want kaa-chan mad at either of us."

"It's also part of her heritage, Kashi-chan. We'll use the excuse of teaching her Hatake style kenjutsu as for why we are training her, and that we're shinobi so she needs to know how to defend against that as our excuse for why so much. Midori-chan will have to tackle telling her about any future wish to be kunoichi, but by then it won't be likely Eri-kaa-chan will argue against her if we never prompted her to wish that for herself. Nothing verbal, anyways."

Clan children were trained from the moment they could walk and talk. Part of it was to ensure they knew their clan's history and skills to teach their own children much later down the line, but mostly so when they became shinobi they already had good skills and habits to use for that life.

Another part of it was if there was a kidnapping of a clan child, that child might be able to use their skills to either defend themselves or escape on their own.

Midori was a Hatake clan child, daughter of the late White Fang and sibling to Kakashi. She might just need that edge if anything ever tried to take her from them.

Kakashi squeezed her forearm, in silent thanks, before letting her go.

"Remember that Kiri-nin means stay out of the water."

"Shut up, nee-chan. I'm not that stupid."

"Remind Obito-kun. Rin-chan doesn't need the extra work."

"Oh."

\V/

Jōnin deployments were getting shifted around, which left a few shinobi stranded where they were before the Sandaime started rearranging them with the Yondaime to take on another theater of war.

The Kumo battle line would be pulled back, because they were in Lightning's territory and they were less of a priority than Kiri. Shinobi getting deployed to maintain that would fall back to Frost's borders, as a pointed reminder they were not being ignored but left for later. Whether or not that would become an active battlefield anytime in the next few years was up to Cloud and the Raikage A. Hiashi was tasked to handle it for the moment until a decently sized deployment was ready to replace him, which forced him to leave behind his newly married and just pregnant wife for a few months to half a year. Hisana would probably just have her baby in time for the cutoff of the academy class they had going already.

Iwa would not be rid of their Leaf-Sand war camps in their front lawn, as the Third War was mostly their fault and even this new upset wouldn't prevent either Konoha or Suna from taking their pound of flesh from them. Those would be reduced slightly in size, but seeing as they did fight tooth and nail to come to grips with Rock they would not get off so easily. Shibi was due to leave in a few weeks to support them, leaving his clan and village to protect and support Shiori and Shino for him. Natsumi's old mixed cell of chūnin and jōnin, Ibiki and Gai had taken the jōnin spar with Kakashi and the interrogator led Cell Nine now, would support him in that.

Kisame's request to send on any more former Swordsmen of the Mist to him meant that when Momochi Zabuza fled Kiri and Water after trying for Yagura's head he ran into Leaf forces scouting out things like him happening, who pointed him to a location near Rain after pumping him for more information. Shortly after that a very strange Kirigakure Swordsman and a young child, called Kurosuki Raiga with a Ranmaru on his back by the reports, ran into another Leaf scouting team but chose to go their own way instead of find the former leader of the Seven Swordsmen. Hoshigaki was forwarded a report about it anyways, via the Toad Sage.

Zabuza hinted that not all Kiri-nin were happy with the possibility of Yagura being mind-controlled, and that there was a sect of Mist shinobi that opposed their Mizukage. He refused to tell any Konoha-nin about it, snarling that they would solve the damn problem before taking off for Kisame's meet up location.

When it reached him, Minato rather sourly remarked that they should have done something about it years ago instead of waiting for the last possible moment to pull their heads out of their asses, tossing the paperwork on it into another bin on his desk as done with intelligence to be filed away.

Natsumi, who had been reading reports from both Bear-samas on how the restructuring of ANBU was going and listening to him read the report aloud, snickered.

"What?"

"I remember a time when you flatly refused to swear." She grinned over and up, because she was lying flat on her back on the couch in the Hokage's office. "That was back when we used to do this in your apartment and not your office, though."

Akira pricked her ears forward, even if she was pretending to nap next to her Summoner, interested in this new information about their human and her littermate.

"With you sitting around for hours and watching me work? I wish we still did that, fūinjutsu designs are a hell of a lot more interesting that all this." Sighing, the blond leaned back in Hiruzen's chair to take a short break from his paperwork duties. "I do _not_ need to read a thirteen page report the pumpkin yield Training Grounds Four somehow has, or a ten page request that includes why it seems we need yet another festival arranged."

Hiruzen had left Minato the office for the day, to gradually phase the Yondaime in and the Sandaime out. Right now it was one day every week, in a few months it would be almost more of Minato than Hiruzen running the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

When the Third Fire Shadow officially retired from Hokage duties at the end of those few months, he apparently planned on abandoning ship as fast as he could.

"Who wrote a thirteen page report on _pumpkins?_ …it was Ebisu, wasn't it? He is a bit… formal and weird."

"Yeah… are we _sure_ he's sane?"

"Is Gai? Hell, am _I?_ Are _you_ anymore? One does not get to be good ninja unless said one is a bit cracked, kouhai." Natsumi grinned at his flat look. "Honestly though, I miss your old couch. No matter how nice this one is, I actually miss the lumps and the spring that liked to dig into my spine when I lay on it."

"I never did replace that thing."

"I know… we should go _steal_ it."

Akira placed a paw over her eye in a horrified type of amusement, then started slowly stretching in preparation to actually get up.

Minato blinked at her a few times, then placed a hand over his face too and started chuckling. "I did not hear that."

"No, really! We should go steal it back and replace it with this one."

"Really?"

"It'll be like old times, when I could convince you to screw off for a day and we found something else to do. We can even grab the hime, she'll enjoy it."

"You and Kushina are halfway through your pregnancies, sempai. How do you plan on stealing a couch?"

"That's what you are for, kouhai. You've got the muscles for us. And I'm a few weeks ahead of the hime even if she did get preggers before me, so there."

Minato gave her a less than impressed look for using that as a point. "Can you even get up?"

"If I roll, maybe." Natsumi did just that, setting her work on the stack of it she had brought to the Hokage's office so she could do it and fill Shikaku's guard dog tendencies without him needing to be there. It took a bit of awkward balancing that made the Leopard eye her warily, but she did roll off the couch and onto her own feet without needing someone to pull her up to make up for her lack of stomach muscles right now. "See? I'm up. You wouldn't make your pregnant sempai get up for nothing, will you?"

"Sempai, think about it. Two pregnant kunoichi, a Summons, and the Yondaime are not inconspicuous in any meaning of the term. In fact, we'll attract attention rather fast."

"You say that like it matters. We have something to make up for that."

"Oh?"

"Stag?" Natsumi gifted the ANBU bodyguard that refused to stop following her with a smile. "Would you please do me an ever so huge favor if the Yondaime promises to watch me for a bit?"

"I'm pretty sure that's an abuse of power." Minato dryly observed, not budging from his spot. "This isn't going to work."

"I'm asking, not ordering." She ignored his look in favor for addressing her old squad mate. "Could you inform Uzumaki Kushina there's something I think she may want in on and she may wish to stop by the Hokage's Tower to see what?"

She was pretty sure Stag blinked at her in confusion a few times.

Akira sighed.

(ooo000ooo)

"I can't believe you got me to do that."

" _I_ can't believe it took the hime batting her lashes once to get you to cave."

"I can't _believe_ you two are considered adults, not kittens." Akira informed them both archly, winding her body around Natsumi's stool to watch the foot traffic.

"I can't believe you both _aren't_ eating your ramen yet." Kushina chimed in, grinning at Teuchi as he placed another bowl before her. "That was fun, we should do it again sometime."

" _I_ cannot believe you two played _hooky_ for a few hours." Hiruzen observed rather loudly from behind all three of them and the feline who was supposed to be watching for that kind of thing. "Now, where is my couch?"

Natsumi blinked up at the Sandaime, thankfully with a mouthful of ramen that would prevent her from being the one to answer. Akira smoothed her cheek into her calf, probably in amusement at the situation.

Traitor.

"Hiruzen-sama! Ramen?" Chirped the pregnant jinchūriki at their kage brightly, offering him the stool next to her the Leopard had scorned. "Minato's paying."

Said blond kage let his head hit the serving bar they were seated at, almost helplessly laughing at their situation. "I blame sempai."

"Oi!"

The soon to be retired Fire Shadow blinked at all three of them, arched an eyebrow at the feline, then finally sighed and took the offered place next to Kushina. "I do not want to know, just put my couch back."

"We, uh…" Natsumi tapped the rim of her bowl with her chopsticks and cleared her throat, giving the man a smile that was a touch apologetic. "We don't have that anymore…"

Hiruzen blinked at her instead.

"There is a ninja who will be greatly surprised that, and probably a little paranoid over, the couch in his apartment has been replaced with your old one, Hiruzen-sama." Minato explained, rubbing his face in either embarrassment or exasperation as his order was placed in front of him. "We switched it for my old chūnin one. I will replace it, or sempai will, by the end of the day."

"Yes, what he said." Natsumi nodded a few times to confirm that, but paused before taking another bite of their afternoon snack and gave it to a curious Akira to try instead. It was shrimp ramen, she might actually like it. "You know, I'm a little surprised that thing was still there after all these years."

The old shinobi just shook his head at them and placed an order with the very nervous Teuchi.

"Though… Minato?"

"Mmmph?" A kage with a mouthful of noodles was not an impressive sight.

"That report on the pumpkins, why did you get it?" Natsumi asked, a little confused now that she gave it a bit more attention. "That should've gone to the Training Grounds over watch committee, not you."

"Err… I don't know. It was on Hiruzen-sama's desk still, so someone thought I should read it."

" _Pumpkins?_ " Kushina asked, surprised enough to pause in her ramen binge. "Who writes reports on _pumpkins?_ "

"Ebisu did. Hiruzen-sama, do you get that kind of thing a lot?"

"Occasionally, yes. That is not the strangest thing I've ever gotten a report on, though."

" _Thirteen_ pages of it?"

Hiruzen frowned thoughtfully as the redhead coughed a few times from inhaling in surprise, rubbing at his chin as he waited for his meal to be served up. "Well… that is about right for what does cross my desk. Perhaps a few pages less, if I'm lucky."

"Okay… that's a bit _excessive_." How in the world did he have the time to keep his skills as sharp as they were with that kind of work to do daily? "Isn't there anyone that screens for those kinds of things?"

"There is our secretary."

Natsumi stared at him, Hiruzen could only shrug in return.

The Hokage's secretary wasn't really a secretary, she was an image ANBU kept up and took on for security reasons.

She thought about it for a bit more, ignoring Akira batting at her foot in boredom or trying to tickle her with her tail.

"Alright, no. What you need is a gister."

Minato looked up from his food to stare at her, confused. "What?"

"A gister, someone who reads less important reports and writes out the gist for you in, like, a paragraph or less. Who, what, when, where, and why. I have one where I work, most clans have one in the clan Ladies. It's something secretaries normally do in addition to their own work, but it's more condensed than that. A Nara reports to another, that Nara writes reports and hands it up for it to cross Shikaku's desk. I, on occasion when I can, read it through for Shika and note down the important parts and details for him from the three or four reports we got about it, he fixes whatever it is without actually having to read the original reports himself."

There was a snap, and Hiruzen discarded his broken chopsticks for a new disposable set Kushina handed him almost automatically. "Is there a reason you are only _now_ suggesting that, neko-chan?"

"I didn't _know_ it was a problem, Hiruzen-sama!" Natsumi could only shrug and hold up her hands in innocence. "I didn't look at your desk during guard duties! I watched your back, the door, the windows, and your guests, not what you were working on. And that secretary isn't really a secretary, you know."

The Sarutobi clan was small, Hiruzen's family was all that was left of them. It wasn't like Biwako had to do it for him and he could adapt it for this, verbal reports were all that were really needed for them.

The Senju clan was just as small, for a shinobi clan that once was numerous enough to stand toe to toe against the Uchiha clan in battle. Senju Hashirama and Tobirama might have known how to do it from way back when, but they were no longer around to give Hiruzen tips or advice. Jiraiya might have been technically added for secrecy reasons; but all that remained of that clan was still just Tsunade, Nawaki, and now Tenzou and Naomi.

She needed to figure out what was going on there. Where the two of them merely covering for Orochimaru's experiment survivors or really sort of in a relationship?

Minato had himself and Kushina, five more months and he would be able to add baby Naruto to that.

"So, you two either need an actual secretary or someone to gist reports for you. Though that won't help with anything that comes in from out of the village and needs you to draft replies to." Natsumi finished sheepishly, scratching at her nose with a knuckle. "If it will keep you from killing me, I have a suggestion?"

"Anything to avoid more reports on _pumpkins_ , sempai."

"I know a crippled and retired shinobi who I used to work with. He's looking for a new job to supplement his pension. Ito can't get around well, but his mind still works just fine."

\V/

"Is it supposed to be hard to keep up with a pregnant woman?"

Inoichi blinked a few times, looking up from his deskwork to check Shikaku's face for any clues of what this was about. The Nara clan head looked a bit confused, honestly. "Err… I don't think so? They're supposed to slow down a little, from what I've seen with Mayuko. She's taking almost as many naps as you."

"I think there's something wrong."

"With Natsumi and the baby?"

Shikaku waved the interrogator back to his seat, shaking his head. "No, Ino, not with the baby or the pregnancy. It's… do you recall how much Natsu protested being sat on between deployments a few years ago? She _hated_ it, kept glaring at whoever was around when they followed her. That was only for a few days. This? It's been a few _months_ , but she doesn't even make faces at the Nara watchmen."

Inoichi settled back into his office chair, a bit disgruntled with the near heart attack his best friend had almost caused him. "It would stand to reason after the scare she'd not protest additional help, Shika."

"Yeah, but with her attention span? She thought the kidnapping was _annoying_ , not scary, once she got home. Tsunade-sama said the baby should be fine, the Kurama clan will never bother her again, and Natsu's over it after a few days of feeling guilty for almost poisoning the baby. Right now, though? She's got ANBU shadows that don't bother making it not obvious she's being protected by them, Naras following her around, her own gakis and assorted young shinobi had been tagging along with bullshit reasons she didn't poke full of holes, and when I need some time to handle something she goes and bugs Minato instead now. Because I know where he is and therefore where she will be later on she doesn't mind doing it for me."

"Maybe she's sorry for the scare she gave you?" Thought the Yamanaka clan head aloud. Though, the more he thought about it the stranger it seemed. "There's a new front to the war, maybe she's uncertain of not being deployable for it? Both she and Minato will be pretty much left behind from now on."

"Then she'd be nagging those deploying to sharpen their skills. No, that's not it."

"Give me a bit more detail."

"She's halfway into a seal, just designing, that even with my limited knowledge of fūinjutsu I don't want to ever touch with a ten foot pole. She's arranged it so that one of Jiraiya-sama's other students will be out here in four or five months, some Uzumaki clansmen of Kushina's. And even if she is pregnant she's not letting her Bear-samas keep control of ANBU instead of taking care of it for the entire pregnancy and a few months of the baby's first year." Shikaku shrugged a little helplessly, as those were the points that made him confused. "She's getting into things every damn time I turn around again, like almost after Sakumo-sama's death. Something's bugging her, but I don't know what."

"Seals, Uzumaki, and ANBU? She's concerned over Kushina giving birth."

Both Inoichi and Shikaku blinked at each other as the reason why Natsumi might be so concerned occurred to them at the same time.

"Oh."

"Well, that makes sense." The Nara spoke dryly, rubbing the scared side of his face. "It's also Minato's firstborn, so of course she's going to drive herself up a wall over it."

"It's probably the major thing, a few more minor ones and we'd know what else it is." Inoichi agreed, blinking a few times. "Wait…"

"What?"

"Didn't she… huh."

Shikaku gave him a flat stare as he dropped his hand. "Well… that's eloquent."

"It's… she _planned on_ their pregnancies? That can't be right. That was years ago."

"That made no sense, Ino."

The interrogator shoved a hand through his bangs, looking no less confused than his team leader. "No, really. A few years ago, remember? She was up to something, arranging around her plans. Which she does do rather regularly, but that's not shifted in any major way for a bit now. It's when she told you she wanted to retire and find a job a bit less bloody than what she had. Right now? This falls into that gap between long term plans she has."

"That was also back before we knew Kiri would try to self-destruct and might take us all with them." Shrugging, Shikaku waved off that idea. "No, I think she only expected Kumo and Iwa to act up when she took everything into account and make some far off long-term plans. This isn't something she expected, I know that. She had been planning on the end of the Third War, not an abrupt shift in targets that will continue it for a few more years."

"True, that didn't really make much sense. Had she somehow known Kushina would get pregnant when she did, then she would've had to know about her taicho's demise. Natsumi would've broken Sakumo-sama's leg instead of allowing him to go on that mission that killed him."

Inoichi rubbed his chin, kicking his feet up on his desk as he thought about it anyways. It wasn't like it was really possible, but still…

"Aren't you supposed to be working? Not daydreaming?"

"Aren't you supposed to be looking for a job? Not wandering around bugging your old teammates?" Inoichi shot back with a grin. "According to Mayuko, Natsumi is a little worried you just said you would to make her happy and don't intend to actually get something to do in the village."

"Mayuko said it? That would mean Natsu's almost panicking, right?"

"Yep."

Shikaku sighed heavily, slumping back against the Head of Interrogation's office wall. "Damn it, Natsu."

"So… did you say something apparently stupid and get kicked out of your own home too?"

"Something like that." Laughing slightly, the Nara shook his head. "What was your crime against the girls?"

"I somehow called Mayuko fat. Damned if I know how, and I'm from a clan of bloody mind readers."

"Mmm, my troublesome woman almost kicked me in the head for that once. She apologized later, but still. I somehow made Natsu start crying, which freaked her out a little because she can't stop and is now purring along with that. My kaa-sama kicked me out to deal with it."

Inoichi started laughing a little himself. "No, you know what? We're jōnin, shinobi, and one is the best damn tactical mind in the village the other is a psychologist. We should not be afraid of going home and facing our wives."

"I am not doing jack until kaa-sama says the coast is clear." Shikaku refuted a little too quickly. "I don't know how what I said made her cry."

His best friend hesitated at that quick refusal. "Honestly, I don't want to go back until she calms down."

"So… spend a few hours envying Chouza for almost being over the pregnancy hormones part and that his son is due in less than a month?"

"That sounds good."

\V/

"Kisame? When did you get in?"

"Just a few hours ago. We're doing this in shifts, apparently. I go back and Nagato-sama swaps in for what you want him for." Hoshigaki informed her, warily eyeing the baby bump that made it difficult to get up and she was using as a worktable for the day. "When did you start spawning?"

"Late last year, I've got until the start of fall for the whole waddling around and looking like a beached whale thing." Natsumi beckoned him over. "Help me up. How's life in Rain?"

"Not much different than Kirigakure no Sato, just less fucked up and a little warmer. Less salty too. It's mostly the same kind of thing I used to do, but the different leaders I don't have to worry are lying to me thing is appreciated." Bemusedly, the shark-nin gave her a hand and hauled her out of the couch she was flat on her back on. "Is there a reason you're lying around the Hokage's office pregnant enough to knock an enemy over with your stomach alone?"

Kisame stiffened up when an ANBU agent melted out of the woodwork to pick up the pregnant ANBU General's work, but all the kunoichi did was grin at Tiger then at the former Swordsman of the Mist. "Oh, not really. It was just somewhere convenient to work. Minato's out for a bit for something Hiruzen-sama wants, was there something majorly important you needed them for?"

"To report that I'm here and will be for a few days at least?"

"Noted. Anything else?"

"You can do that?" Kisame asked instead of answering, giving her a strange look.

"Surprise." Natsumi grinned at him, maybe a little toothily. "Sensei did say you had questions, but I expected to hear from you after Nagato met the hime. What's up?"

Big and blue looked around warily, causing the kunoichi to sigh.

"Look, if it's sensitive you're going to have to accept someone else will overhear if you want to talk to me right this moment. I'm a little… incapacitated."

He checked out her stomach again, with a wry and sharp grin. "Obviously. You sent Zabuza to me, I'm not sure if I should thank you or hit you for that."

"He is a piece of work, isn't he? I saw him at the Kage Summit, and the reports that got back to us painted him as a snarly son of a bitch." Natsumi shrugged, pressing her left hand to her spine to work out some of the stiffness there. "There was another one, but he didn't stick around."

"That's what I'm here for now, I want his name and where he went. I'm going to hunt him down and see what's up with him."

"Sensei didn't tell you?" The kunoichi asked as she ambled over to Minato's desk, scratching Akira on the head when her Leopard obligingly moved out of her way.

Kisame shook his head. "Jiraiya-sama didn't know."

"How rude, someone should've told him before he wandered out there." She picked through the reports, looking for what she recalled Minato pitching into his and Hiruzen's out box to be dealt with. Natsumi wasn't entirely surprised it wasn't there anymore, as it had been a few months ago. "Damn, we're going to have to go to Intelligence for it."

"Should you be walking around like that?"

Natsumi drew herself up stiffly, or as stiffly as she could be six months pregnant. "I am pregnant, not stupid or useless."

Kisame blinked at her.

She stuck her tongue out at him, then scowled at the former ROOT agent for barring the way out of the office. "Really Stag? A walk will do me good."

The former Kiri-nin turned Ame-nin frowned at the ANBU standing behind him.

Sighing, Natsumi instead walked back over to the couch. "Fine, you get it."

The bodyguard didn't move.

She tried not to growl at him, knowing it was probably a correct course of action in his head to not allow his Panther-sama to wander off unescorted. "Kisame, you might actually have to go get it yourself. Since I'm apparently barred from leaving until Minato or my husband come by and fetch me. I'll write you permission for it, they shouldn't give you any trouble… and if they do find Yamanaka Inoichi. He'll kick their asses for you."

"That'll work for me." Hoshigaki claimed, still suspiciously eyeing the ANBU agent.

Stag, now that Panther wasn't going to leave the office with strange ninja, melted back into the shielded parts of the office ANBU liked to lurk in.

Natsumi blew out a sigh, accepting some fresh paper from Mouse. "You'd think they'd be less paranoid over me."

"What…?"

"Someone tried to kidnap me about three months ago. You didn't hear?"

Kisame stared at her for a long moment. "And you were about to _wander off_ with a foreign shinobi?"

"You are not foreign, you're Ame-nin. Foreign would be Iwa or Kumo or even Kiri, and hell no I'm not that stupid."

"You really believe that." It wasn't a question, even if he still sounded confused.

Natsumi sighed, at him that time, finishing off the written ANBU captain's permission for the intelligence he wanted. "Kisame, not only did you get my own students to bring you to me but you survived a trip with sensei and live with his other students. Konan is fond of you, I have a very frequent letter exchange with her and know it. Jiraiya-sensei doesn't mind you, even if he calls you fishy as a nickname. Nawaki, that gold eyed chūnin that brought you back, thinks enough of you to risk pissing me off in order to gain my help. I had a hand in raising him, too, so it wasn't just trying to not piss off a higher ranking kunoichi. You have a few good character references from shinobi I trust. Why wouldn't I give you some in return?"

"Huh."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Go hunt down your former fellow."

Kisame caught the scroll she pitched at his head. "Sure."

"And you owe me a kenjutsu match, when I'm no longer as big as a house."

He blinked, then gave her stomach a pointed look.

"Yeah, that'll be in a few years. Bite me."

That… was a lot of teeth filed into pointy ends.

Natsumi pursed her lips. "And now I know what my husband feels when I smile at him toothily."

Kisame laughed at her, heading for the door.

\V/

She blinked a few times, looking backwards at her husband over a shoulder as she opened the door for them. "Why?"

"So we can plan on a name? Chouza and Momo knew after the new year, and little Chouji-kun seems fine with his name."

"Can't we just plan on one for each?" Natsumi asked instead, wrinkling her nose up at him. "I kinda wanted to be surprised."

"I'm kind of interested in what kind of bun you've got in the oven, neko-chan."

"Shut up, sensei. You're not part of this conversation." She informed him archly, continuing on her way over to the Senju head's fridge as Shikaku took a seat next to his wife's old jōnin-sensei sitting at the Senju's kitchen table. "And I'm stealing something, sorry."

Jiraiya rolled his eyes at her, but ended up staring when she snagged their half-full bottle of milk and tipped the rest of what was in the jug into her mouth. "…that's creepy. I _know_ you don't like milk, neko-chan. Watching you drink it like it's going out of style? That is just…"

"She did that with orange juice this morning, too." Shikaku told him dryly. "I'm kind of impressed she can up-end the whole thing at once and not take a breath or swallow."

"I… can control my gag reflex." Natsumi informed the both of them after taking a deep breath, trying to control a shudder. "It helps when I don't like how something tastes. And just because, _ewww_ …"

Akira poked her in the leg with a wet nose. "You left none for me?"

"Sorry sweetie, did you want some? They should have some cream in here somewhere." She set the empty bottle aside and searched a bit through the medic's fridge. "Tsunade-sama has a bit of a weakness for kakigori and she uses it for that."

Jiraiya tried, he really did, but the stupid little smirk wouldn't go away. "So… almost no gag reflex, huh?"

Sighing, Shikaku slapped a hand over his face. "Forget you heard that, please."

The sannin snickered, unable to really help it.

"Stop being a letch, sensei. I'm your student. _TSUNADE-SAMA!_ Do you have any cream?"

"Cream is _not_ healthy, little shadow!"

"It's for the _cat! I_ drank your milk!"

There was a pause. " _ALL_ OF IT?"

"YEAH!"

"Bottom shelf, the silver container!"

Shikaku winced, rubbing at his left ear as the shouting match stopped and his wife bent over to dig out said pot of cream for the Leopard.

"You think that's bad? I think I'm going a bit deaf." Jiraiya told him quietly. "You should've heard her shout when I moved in."

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" He asked dryly, flicking his own ear a few times just to be sure his own hearing wasn't going. "I could have _sworn_ you said you wanted to hear more."

The older shinobi started laughing. "Yeah, I made that mistake too."

Natsumi poked him a few times after dishing out a shallow bowl of cream for the Leopard. "I want you two to be happy, stop annoying her."

"I can't tell if that's a slight on my ability to keep the hime pleased with me or a sincere wish for luck."

"Eh, bit of both."

So… not a relationship yet, but Jiraiya was still trying. Damn.

Tsunade was a stubborn woman, it'd take him a few more years.

"Neko-taicho!"

"Hey Tenzou-kun!" Natsumi grinned at the young Mokuton user, ruffling his hair. "What's up?"

"Wow… your belly got big." Tenzou put his hands on her stomach, which she had to wear her husband's shirts for or her own clothing wouldn't cover it. "Is the baby due yet?"

"Mmm, no. Not quite. End of September, beginning of November. Somewhere around there I'll pop and there'll be a baby Shika-chan to spoil and be a nii-san to."

"Sensei is almost ready to have hers, but Fugaku-sama is keeping her close to their clan compound for now and we don't get to see her too often." The kid smiled when the baby kicked his hand, endlessly fascinated with the whole process. "Do you know what the baby will be?"

"We're apparently here for both a checkup and to figure that out."

Shikaku blinked a few times. "I thought you didn't want to know?"

"I thought you did, hubby mine."

The Nara clan head sighed yet again. "This is another of those questions that doesn't have a right answer, isn't it?"

Natsumi batted her lashes at him. "I'm a pregnant woman, you'll never win an argument with me. But seriously, if you really want to know we can. I'll be surprised on the next one."

He thought about that, eyeing her warily and ignoring Jiraiya loudly whispering to take the offer and run for his life.

Tsunade returned to the kitchen, from looking for the blank medical reports she kept on hand to make Natsumi's checkup official, a very strange expression on her face. "Tenzou-kun, beat it. I need to talk to your so called tou-san."

Looking between the official reasons he had a clan name now, the Mokuton user carefully backed out of the kitchen and bolted once he reached the hallway.

Smart kid.

"Jiraiya, what is this?" The Slug Princess asked archly, waving a little booklet of bound loose paper that made the Toad Sage cringe.

The former assassin brightened. "Ooh, is that it? Can I see it, Tsunade-sama?"

"Little shadow? Do you know what this _is?_ "

"It's porn, I know. But it's _sensei_ , he's always been a pervert." Natsumi managed to swipe it from a gaping medic. "It's a bit of a pity, really. I liked his other book."

"That didn't exactly sell well, neko-chan." Slowly straightening up, Jiraiya kept a careful eye on the woman who's home he lived in. "No matter how much you and Minato liked it."

"You're new to the writing game, sensei. Give it a bit more time, it's only been a few months." Natsumi reassured him, flipping into the booklet to see where _Icha Icha Paradise_ was and how soon it would be before being finished. "This though? Really shouldn't have been in a house with young kids, I agree with Tsunade-sama in that."

"Where else am I supposed to keep it? I gave up my apartment!"

She held up one of his drawings, currently in charcoal that was smearing coal dust on the other pages. "This? This is _not_ something you have around curious children, sensei."

"Is that even physically possible?"

Natsumi took another look herself and eventually nodded at her husband. "Yeah, you'd need a kunoichi's flexibility though."

Tsunade peered over her shoulder, even with a rather ferocious scowl on her face. "Real risk for pulling something in your leg if you held that position for that."

"Yep, but _so_ worth it. Kinky."

Jiraiya pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to stop his overactive imagination when it came to perverted situations giving him probably very vivid images of his book's sex scenes involving the gold-eyed kunoichi. "Okay, I get it. I'll get it out of the house."

"Damn straight you will." Growled the medic, sniffing at what amounted to soft porn currently being poured over by a heavily pregnant kunoichi. "Why, though?"

"Like she said, I'm really only widely known for a few things hime. Being a pervert and being the Toad Sage Sannin." Sniffing a bit himself to ensure he didn't give himself a nosebleed, the sannin shrugged. "When I went to get a bit of help for my first book, the publisher was pretty damned surprised it _wasn't_ porn. What else would I write about? All the time I spend in hot springs listening in on gossip and gathering information means I also tend to hear a lot of who's screwing who. In a whole lot of detail sometimes, too. So that stuck in my head a bit, and I wanted to see if I could do it."

"True, there was a whole lot of that when we watched you work all those years ago. Hell, when I go bug you for a second opinion on something I occasionally hear who's screwing who." Natsumi agreed, admiring another drawing. "I _wish_ I could do this."

"Sketch porn?" Shikaku asked wryly, bemused at this change in subject matter.

"Draw the human body in that detail. I suck, like badly. You should've seen the mess I made out of putting a bit of color on a _mask_ , I'm that bad at it." She inspected what the image was of, and shrugged. "And I've seen better porn in Suna."

He stared at her for a long moment. "Why?"

"Ibiki wandered out to their little red light district, and I don't care what he said it was on purpose. He managed to lose both his teammates well before wandering in there. Never did it again when his jōnin kunoichi of a team leader had to go out there and fetch him, and flirted a bit with some of the girls 'displaying their wears' much to his horror."

Jiraiya snickered at that tidbit. "Those girls are pretty shameless, damn good models too."

"Models?" Tsunade looked a cross between disgusted and intrigued.

"I learned how to sketch the human body because of my spying, hime. More detail can be given over if you can do it, instead of hoping a verbal description can convey everything. But you need a whole lot of practice at it to get good, and your own body isn't really much of something to sketch for that practice. You get stuck on certain body types, and humans come in all shapes and sizes." Shrugging, the Toad Sage snagged his book back, ignoring the former assassin's pout at him. "So I might have had to pay geisha to pose for me so I could draw them. That was expensive, because those sessions could go for hours. One day when I was listening in on a gossip session going on in a hot spring, the women who were in were naked and I could see it. So I drew them for the practice as I waited to hear what I was there for."

"And everyone knows he's a pervert, what would a known pervert be doing at a hot springs full of women?" Natsumi finished off with a shrug of her own. "Not gathering gossip for Intelligence, that's for sure."

"I will admit to being very appreciative for what I could see… and paid for." Jiraiya sniffed haughtily, tapping the closed cover of his book as if to make a point. "And I do _love_ women, a lot more than spying on the men."

"You are an opportunistic, spying pervert about to try and make money for being a pervert." Tsunade sighed heavily, rubbing at her eyes with both hands. "And you live in my home."

He shrugged again. "Not really sorry for that, hime."

"Keep it out of the house, Jiraiya."

"Yeah, that was my bad." Sighed the white haired sannin, slipping the booklet into a pocket. "Really, really don't know where else it could go while I work on it."

"Rent a studio apartment?" Shikaku suggested dryly. "Those are called studios for a reason."

"If either of the kids saw that, I'll knock you through the walls and make you fix it." Tsunade informed him sternly, shaking a fist under his nose. "You hear me?"

"Yes ma'am."

The Slug Princess eyed him to be sure, then dismissed the topic with another sniff. "Little shadow, just a checkup?"

"And gender, Shika wants to know."

"I could tell him and not tell you."

"Mmm, if we're really going to spoil it we might as well both know." Natsumi shook her head at the offer. "Or he'll be a smug bastard for a few more months and make teasing little hints about it."

"Very true."

Tsunade pointedly stared at him, making Shikaku inch away from her slightly. The woman snorted, lit green hands smoothing over the former assassin's stomach. "If you're sure, little shadow."

"I am. Please?"

"You're having a boy."

Natsumi blinked, surprised.

Shikamaru it was.

She looked at Shikaku's face quickly, and oddly he looked rather smug as well as happy at that news.

"Ino and Foxy are having a girl, aren't they?"

He grinned at her. "I win."

"You did _not_ bet on the gender of our baby, Shika. _Tell me_ you didn't."

Laughingly, he obediently repeated that. "I did not bet on the gender of our baby, Natsu… but I _did_ bet with them that it would work out two boys and a girl for a genin team build."

Natsumi narrowed her eyes at him, but a thought made her smirk instead of threaten violence. "You know… you and your team are not the only ones our baby might follow, my dear husband. There's a good chance it will be like mini versions of me and Minato wandering the village in a few years instead. Our baby will be older than his baby, not by half a year or so but still. They will also share their parents as godparents too. Instead of another Shika-Ino-Chou trio, it might just be another sempai and kouhai pair."

Shikaku blinked, then looked at her stomach and then back up at her quickly. "I love you? I know you love me, wife mine. You love me so much you put up with me dragging my feet about the baby thing for years, so I'd have the chance to arrange this."

"Mmhmm. Keep going, dear."

Jiraiya leaned over to the Nara clan head. "Run, man, run. Or grovel like your life depends on it."

He did the same thing when Tsunade tried to flick him in the head for that.

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku helped her into the couch in the study, to take the pressure off her legs and lower back for a few hours. "So…"

"Fine whatever. Go brag to Ino and Chouza that your master plan is still on." Natsumi told him, smirking slightly as she leaned back and kicked up her legs. "We're still talking about the team arrangements, dear, so don't get too far ahead of yourself. Shoo, hand me something to work on though."

He looked around for what would distract her until he got back, snagging her fūinjutsu supplies and dragging the table she had it out on over to her. "Will this work?"

"Yes, thank you." She shoved herself up a bit, placing her head on the arm of the couch so she could see comfortably without craning her neck around. "Tell Inoichi I said hi, and hell no I'm not doing what he asked."

"What did he ask?"

"Mmmm, it's about my so called soft spots. He's been nagging me for months about those. I don't really want to change that about myself, instead I'll pass whatever hits that to you or him."

Shikaku leaned over her, giving her a look. "The bleeding heart thing that got you _kidnapped?_ "

"Yeah… but if I do that, how much of me will still be the sempai Minato likes to sometimes call aneki? How much would be left of the woman you married? I'm old, Shika. I don't feel like changing now, not again. I did that once to survive here, as this was a different culture and society than the one that originally made me what I was. But that's different than changing things that aren't broken or out of place in exchange for things that would make me a bit less than I was. Am. Something like that."

"Fair point… so long as you stick to that decision to hand it off." He conceded after a moment. "I'll pass it on for you, wife mine."

"Thanks."

Natsumi watched him leave the study after getting a kiss goodbye, frowning faintly.

They were having a _Shikamaru?_

Tsume will never let her live that name down, not after years of harassing about her and her clan's sucky skills in naming things.

Well… Inoichi and Mayuko were having a daughter they might just call Ino too.

Whether or not they would be the same Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji team remained to be seen. Gender might have been an either or thing, but temperament and habits?

There was always the possibility that no matter what she did this next generation wouldn't exactly work out like she thought they had. Their home lives might end up entirely opposite than what made them so hard or skilled so quickly. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke might be still as they were as well, but Namikaze Naruto would have parents if at all possible, Haruno Sakura would have a mother that kept up with other kunoichi even retired, and Uchiha Sasuke probably would have his clan and family still intact.

Additionally, while Shino would probably end up the same there was always the chance Kiba and Hinata might end up either a little or a lot different.

Neji did _not_ have the Curse Seal of the Cadged Bird branded across his forehead, and would _never_ have it.

Midori was nowhere in that story, to boot. Hatake Kakashi never had a little sister, or an older one, or a mother still alive at this point. Senju Nawaki _survived his genin years_ , whatever would possibly kill him from this point on would be something she probably couldn't help. Sarutobi Konohamaru might live, depending on what Koichi decided to do about his preference for partners, but Hiruzen and Asuma might not be forced to raise the kid in lieu of her ex-saboteur student.

There were thousands upon thousands of little changes and accidental influences she had imposed on her home village, if that story was in fact how the future would've gone without her.

Still…

She greatly wondered if this son would be as tactically inclined and intelligent as his father or maybe as manipulative and sly as she was.

The baby would still be a Nara, he'd _always_ be as lazy as his father either way.

Depending on the final bit of that story that worried her though, she might not be afforded the time to figure that out.

Natsumi was due in less than two months, Kushina was due in three to four because of the Kyuubi influence on her pregnancy slowing it down even with Uzumaki vitality counteracting that.

Three to four more months of being Minato's sempai, or Shikaku's wife, or even Kakashi's sister. A month or so of her own son's life.

Then they would see if Madara had the balls to take on the Leaf in their home village or if he was enough of a coward to hide within the Mist.

Natsumi didn't know what she was hoping for. If it would happen even with Nagato coming around in that time frame or not and if they would have to hunt through Water for their disgraced former founder.

\V/

Natsumi blinked up at the redhead that walked into the office, then sighed. "What is with everyone and being early?"

Nagato only shrugged slightly in answer, accepting the offer Jiraiya made for the seat that wasn't occupied by a pregnant former assassin or the two Hokages. "I have a question, and Kisame wished me to pass on his thanks for helping him find Kurosuki-san."

Akira slunk out the door at her Summoner's beckon, Ito keeping it opened for her when he spotted the Leopard moving.

"Was that his name?" Natsumi tried to push herself upright, eventually needing the Toad Sage's help to get there fully. "Thanks sensei. Tell him he still owes me a kenjutsu match in a few years."

"I will." Claimed the Uzumaki with a slight nod. "Now for my question, what is it you wish me here for?"

The ANBU General looked at the younger of the two Fire Shadows.

Minato sighed. "There's something sempai hasn't told us yet, but mostly for the end of my wife's pregnancy. Kushina dearly wishes to actually meet you in person as well."

"I need permission for telling the rest of it, especially for someone that isn't Konoha-nin." Natsumi claimed with a shrug.

The Yondaime thought about it, then looked at the sannin. "Sensei? How much do you trust Nagato-san?"

"With my life, if need be." Said man claimed freely.

"Hiruzen-sama?"

"Up to you, Minato-kun."

The blond nodded then. "Tell us, sempai."

"Alright. Bit of background information first." Natsumi resituated herself, partially to allow the Toad Sage to sit down and mostly because being eight months pregnant was starting to hurt. "I'm an assassin, I've been so for more than ten years, thirteen if you want to get technical. I started looking for survivors of Uzushiogakure no Sato's fall once I became an ANBU captain when I was sixteen, nine years ago. By records and reports I managed to gather and piece together, there should be about two hundred or so Uzumaki or Uzu survivors in the Hidden Countries. Oven nearly ten years, I've hunted down _three hundred and forty nine_ … only one of which is still alive. Nagato-san himself, and sensei found him before I did. Someone's been killing everyone that fled the island before or after it's destruction, in a way that scares the ever loving piss out of me."

Jiraiya frowned heavily at the news. "Define scares you, neko-chan."

"I mean it looks like someone specifically started from one end of the Hidden Countries and went to the other, and slaughtered everyone that even might have been related to an Uzumaki in a method and manner _I cannot replicate_. Starting from two or three years after Whirlpool's fall, completely in family units and lone survivors equally, so that by five years afterwards they were all dead. I can't even imagine who could do that or how it was done. Not even now, and I almost practically control ANBU for Minato. It happened way too quickly, over too little time, and over a stretch of land that should've at least prevented whoever it was from getting to them as quickly as it seems they did. There might be only a handful that escaped that culling, and whoever could do that might even be out of my reach if this didn't happen to them yet."

" _All_ of them?" Nagato asked weakly, wide purple eyes on her.

Natsumi could only shrug, a little sorry she had to tell the young man about the fate of anymore family he might have had. "I've stopped looking, honestly. If they escaped I don't want to be the one that leads whoever did it to them before I can convince them to go to either Ame or Konoha for protection. I'm not even sure I want to attract that kind of attention to us."

"If you cannot do this yourself, neko-chan, what could?"

"I'm not even sure Minato could do it with his space-time seal, Hiruzen-sama. I mean there should be at least gaps or something overlapping between times of death, but there's only a short few hours at most. Distance apparently didn't mean much to the one or ones responsible."

"Were the survivors all civilians?" Minato asked quietly. "Or were there no shinobi at all?"

"There was both. It apparently didn't matter. And while I'll accept someone can get lucky once or twice when it comes to highly trained ninja, not at this apparent success rate."

"Method of demise?" Jiraiya prompted next.

"Same killer or a lot of similarly trained ones, from the look of it. Either poisons, accidents, or they just go missing and get found as bloody ruins… with missing bits. The accidents ended strangely, but the poisons and the same disappearing act? I would've said the same assassin did it all if it wasn't so far spread. We like our particular methods, and it usually takes a direct order to get us to pick something else to kill with."

Hiruzen spoke next, digging out his pipe even with a pregnant woman in the room. "Part of them _missing?_ "

"Like not blood volume, but strips of flesh missing and not found. Large bits, like someone carved them up and left the rest to rot. It was the most common end I've found, about more than half went that way."

Minato sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You can't do it?"

"I wouldn't be able to operate on that scale. Not even with all of ANBU helping me and your seal taught to all of us. Borders did not matter, kouhai. Distance? Not as much as it should've. I can't even get messages across Fire Country as fast as these Uzumaki or Uzushiogakure survivors died, and I've got Summons that run those."

"Two or three years after Uzu's fall? Like say, once a young boy with Rinnegan eyes was born and showed the ability?" Nagato asked of her bitterly, shutting said eyes as he posed that detail.

He was barely twenty, Natsumi was twenty five. At his birth Kushina would've been five, and when he grew enough to show whatever it was that signified a Rinnegan could very well have been that year Uzu fell or even a little afterwards.

Two years after that when he might have shown ability to go along with his purple eyes? Right about the time Uzumaki survivors started dying in droves.

Natsumi sighed. "Very likely, yes. That might have been the start of it. I am sorry, Nagato-san."

Minato looked rather ticked off at this news. "You think whoever did it, might come after my hime?"

"Think about it. The hime is normally very adept at defending herself, especially with that problem she takes care of for us. The only time a kunoichi can't really defend themselves would be right now, when we're pregnant and not exactly able to run or fight at all. I could do something about a kidnapping at three months, but _right now?_ I can barely get up, Kushina-hime is a month or so behind me. If someone wanted to either ensure almost all the Uzumaki clan members are dead, they might just take advantage of the window of opportunity between the last month of pregnancy and that first month afterwards."

The younger shinobi survivor of the Uzumaki clan sighed heavily, straightening up slightly. "Which is why you wished me to arrive in that timeframe."

"I can't help Minato right now. Whatever might happen will probably happen before I can fight again. The only one else in the entire world that would have either a greater or similar combat experience everyone would accept being present at the birth of the Yondaime's first child would be the lost clansmen of his wife's. Yes, this is part of why I asked you to come."

"Part?"

"The hime still wants to meet you, there is a little thing called fūinjutsu you might be interested in because it was a specialty of your clan, and we were a little curious over our fellow students of the Toad Sage."

Hiruzen placed his pipe in his mouth, unlit because there was a pregnant woman in the room, and looked between the four of them. "What will we do about this then?"

Minato drummed his fingers into the desk a few times before speaking. "Sempai, since you knew this might happen and had time to think about it, do you have a seal we can use?"

"I have a brand new one just for this. Needs testing, but we've got another few months."

"Sensei, would you and Tsunade-sama be willing to assist?"

"Of course."

The Yondaime looked to the Sandaime. "May we borrow your wife for this, if I promise to get her out of there if anything does happen?"

"I'll get her out of this if something happens." Natsumi corrected with a slight shrug. "I won't be much more help in close combat a few weeks to maybe a month after giving birth."

"Even better. Hiruzen-sama?"

"Very well."

Minato nodded, then frowned as he looked out the wide window at the village itself. "In or out of the walls?"

"In might be more secure, but would also result in more casualties if any fight gets out of hand. Out is less secure but with less innocent targets nearby." Jiraiya shrugged, waving one hand. "There isn't a right answer to that."

"Out would mean no one stupid will touch my seal, and I made it up right about the time I started getting scared." Natsumi added dryly. "That thing really is a last resort kind of thing, because it doesn't go off with the right intents like I usually make them do. That is a one touch, one fried chakra system kind of thing."

"Out would also allow more room to maneuver if anything does occur." Nagato tacked on last, but shrugged himself. "For both us and whoever might attack my cousin."

"Cousins, you're about to have two of them." The former assassin corrected with a slight grin. "In would mean we really would know the field well, especially if we use a far flung Training Grounds."

"It would have the security we can control, with MPs and ANBU needing to be gotten though first." Hiruzen chipped in, gripping the bowl of his pipe instead of smoking it.

Holding up a hand, Minato kept the next comment from being offered. "The Forty-Fourth Training Ground, but not the tower. Sempai?"

"I'll gather a report of what natural caverns are there for you to pick from. We use it pretty regularly."

"I want to see that seal."

"Of course. It's at home, you'll have to pick it up or I can bring it here."

"I'll go with you." He got up, turning to the younger shinobi that had his wife's hair coloring. "Nagato-san, I am sorry this couldn't be under better circumstances. But I am very pleased to meet you and I extend an invitation for you to meet Kushina tomorrow, here."

The Ame-nin got up as well and gave him a formal if slightly stiff bow. "Yondaime-sama, I have a cousin when I thought I had none. Who is about to give me another. I believe I have the better end of this situation."

"I don't know, I'm about to become a otou-san." Minato shrugged with a small grin. "I think that may trump cousins."

"Quit bragging, gaki." Jiraiya ruffled the kage's hair with a smirk. "I'll take Nagato to where he can set up for a few weeks."

"Hiruzen-sama?"

The older shinobi waved them off, lighting his pipe as Natsumi got heaved out of the couch by her sensei and kouhai.

Akira rejoined them, having waited just outside the office for whatever the humans had to talk about, and followed them down the steps.

Minato kept hold of the former assassin, mostly to help her balance with a nearly fully grown baby in the belly, even after they waved Jiraiya and Nagato goodnight after leaving the Tower's front doors. "So… when were you going to tell me this?"

"Around now."

"Sempai."

Natsumi sighed, rubbing at her temple as Akira got a bit of distance again. "It was either tell you a few months ago when I realized how close the Uzushiogakure no Sato survivors got killed, and ruin some of the time you should have only be happy with the thought of being a father, or tell you now when we could actually start planning for it. Seriously? What else can we do with only a possible maybe that might happen? There is no obvious threat I know of to the hime, just a possible one that I found after finally organizing the information by time of death."

He gave her a strange look.

"I'm pregnant and bored, be happy it was finally organizing my mess of additional Intelligence gathered over the years and not another Inuzuka riot."

"And then you got scared, but didn't tell me."

"Terrified, kouhai. What happened? _Should not be physically possible_."

Minato pondered that for a long moment as they watched the sun sink down behind the village's walls, supporting a silencing seal they stood in with his foot again. "Never? Not even with…?"

What she had in her last life?

Natsumi gave it some thought with his suggested angle. "No, not even then. There might be a tighter window, but not all exactly in sequence as they are. It was like dominos, one died then a few minutes to hours later another did then so on. One by one by one by one, like cutting cords one at a time. You would've needed hundreds of the hiraishin kunai perfectly placed to do it even remotely similar, then there would've been fighting back and running to deal with. If there were more people that somehow got a signal at the same or sequential times, it would've gotten confused or messed up somehow with that many targets to handle. This? No. Some of them that should've fought never got the chance, and some of them that ran didn't get far enough."

"Why didn't you tell me or Kushina any of this before? You've had ten years."

"I might have known they were all dead when I looked for them, Minato, but I didn't really piece when they died all together until recently. I knew, yeah, but I thought it was more of a fear thing than a deliberate attempt to cull the Uzumaki clan out of existence. I didn't want to tell the hime that her clan members were turned away or killed off because her clan was that feared. I still don't. This? Is a fair bit worse than just ' _I started looking too late_ '. This is ' _Someone hunted them down and they're all dead in a way that scares me_ '."

Minato snorted softly. "Not all of them."

"Let's keep it that way, shall we?"

"Next time you get this scared, sempai, tell me. This is not something you should have sat on even if we couldn't do anything for it."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't do that."

Natsumi blinked at him. "What?"

"Call me that." Shifting slightly to face her more fully, the blond frowned at her. "You call Hiruzen-sama that when you weren't sure about something but would follow his orders anyways."

"And I'll be calling you that when I'm not sure of something but will follow you anyways." She informed him dryly. "I'll also be calling you Yondaime-sama when I wear a pretty little neko mask, too. You're a _kage_ , Minato, you'll be treated like so when you need to be our Hokage and not just our teleporting fiend of a friend or brother. There was no right answer to that problem, now is really the only time we could start planning instead of just worrying about it so now is when I wanted to tell you what I know so you can deal with it. The next time I come across something like that, I'll tell you then and not when it comes up like you want even if I don't want to worry you about things we can't yet affect."

"It's weird." Minato protested instead, but with no word spoken of her promise to inform him earlier next time. If she did it again he'd probably be less accepting of her word. "You're my _sempai_ , and you still call me an idiot sometimes. Hearing Hokage-sama from you is like the world got turned upside down."

"Mostly because you can be sometimes, and if no one reminds you of it you'll get a big head." Natsumi patted him on the chest with a sweet smile, then winced. "And baby Shika needs to stop kicking kaa-chan, because _that's_ starting to hurt."

He blinked at the change in topic, looking at her stomach. "It's not supposed to hurt, right?"

"You get kicked in the kidney a few hundred times and you'll hurt too."

" _Kidney?_ Left or right, sempai."

"My… left?"

"Like the left that got _impaled_ a few years ago? That you almost lost after that ambush Iwa tried to spring on us?"

Natsumi bit her lower lip hard as she pressed one hand to the burning ache starting up and gripped the front of his haori with her other. "Erm… Minato? I think something's wrong."

He turned to the alarmed Leopard even as he plucked her up off her feet because he was faster than she could ever be at this point. "Fetch her mate, we're going to the hospital."

(ooo000ooo)

Tsunade could only shrug at their expectant looks as she left the hospital's emergency care examination room. "Kidney failure, we knew it might happen. The baby's now pressing all her internal organs either up into her ribcage or outward, the movement tore some of the weaker parts of it up. Her lazing about might have helped her there before, but there isn't anything she or we can do for it now. It's just a mess, we need to remove it."

"Can you do surgery on a pregnant woman?" Shikaku asked incredulously, highly worried and not bothering to hide it.

"Yes. As next of kin I need you to give me that permission, and to induce labor so the baby will be fine." The sannin shook her head, rubbing at the right side of her face. "It's a few weeks too soon, but premature and fine is better than Natsumi infecting them both with something nasty."

"She can't do it?" Minato asked of her, surprised.

"She passed out from the pain. We're going to keep her that way for now."

The Nara clan head groaned, lacing his fingers together and hooking them behind his neck. "Please, then. If that is the best option."

"Relax, this will be easier than trying to keep her from bleeding out from a kunai to the neck." Tsunade smirked slightly, turning to head back into the room she had just left. "Besides, this also means you don't have to get your hand broken during the labor of your kunoichi wife when she's in pain and wishing to remove your head for getting her pregnant."

Shikaku blinked. "Huh."

"You utter _bastard_."

He shrugged in reply for that comment from his Hokage, a small smirk starting to form. "Well… no. The bastard of the family is Natsu, Minato. I'm just… lazy, and I might forgive this gaki for the kidney thing if everything goes okay."

Minato rolled his eyes. "I'll spread the word then. Sempai is having her baby a little early."

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi eyed her much flatter stomach, then her husband. "I _slept_ through the baby's birth?"

"Tsunade-sama said you were in a lot of pain before you passed out, and she kept you that way with her chakra." Shikaku shrugged again, a smirk on his face. "Maru-chan's a very cute baby, wife of mine. He's getting checked over so they're sure the early birth didn't harm him."

"I feel _cheated_."

Sort of. The pain wasn't something she was looking forward to, but she was supposed to have another few weeks of being pregnant. Now, no longer pregnant and big as a whale, she kind of missed it.

She gave him a pout. "You owe me two more, Shika. You hear me? A daughter, then another to make up for this."

"It wasn't my kidney that failed."

"You promised to give me the blood family I wanted. If we end up with seven kids, that's what we'll end up with."

He blinked a few times at that bit of news, then started snickering almost helplessly. "We are not doing this another six times, Natsu. Another baby in five years or so, maybe."

"And another five years after that, because that's what I want." Natsumi finished for him, as she really did want that to be possible. "You'll enjoy the process of knocking me up, you liked this one a whole lot."

"Do you really want to spend another year and a half or so, total, unable to do anything remotely active? You might have gotten around bed rest by sprawling out on everything you could," Shikaku smirked at her, taking the seat next to her hospital bed and setting in for the wait until their son got declared healthy, "and you were remarkably patient with this one, wife mine. I'll admit that. Can you do it again?"

"As long as it's not nearly as exciting, I might do even better trying this again."

Natsumi might not have lost a kidney if a certain clan of genjutsu users didn't stress it out filtering a sedative that was harmful for her and Shikamaru out of her bloodstream. If there wouldn't be a whole lot of awkward questions asked about it, she might have started hunting the former members for her lost kidney's revenge.

Her baby would be healthy, though, even premature. That was almost enough to make her decide it wasn't worth it.

Shikamaru _had better_ be okay.

It hadn't been that long since she retired from being a professional assassin, she could kill them if she wanted. Stag would probably be very accommodating if she needed him to help her out a little.

"Breathe, Natsu. Tsunade-sama said it was just a precautionary check, he squalled up a storm when they took him out of you. We heard him loud and clear." Her ever so thoughtful husband laced their fingers together, to keep her from twisting hers around as they waited. "If he screamed like that for getting disturbed from a nap, he has to be fine."

She bit her lip and desperately searched for another topic, because she was really trying not to panic. Waking up _not pregnant_ had not been a good thing to suddenly realize. "I can't believe you named our son Shikamaru. Tsume is never going to let me forget it, not with all the teasing I gave her over the names she gave her daughter and son."

Inuzuka Kiba was a whole month older than their child, having been born on the seventh of last month and a few weeks ahead of Uchiha Sasuke on the twenty third.

Nara Shikamaru? Born August the nineteenth, nearly a full month premature.

"Well… maybe you should not have teased her over that." Shikaku informed her, trying to control a grin. "How about I let you name the next one?"

"Damn straight you will, Shika." She sniffed, locking her eyes on the door because that was Tsunade's chakra signature and it was coming closer.

Said medic did have a baby wrapped in a blue blanket, one of the light knit but heavy on the heat retention ones, in one arm. "Guess who's perfectly fine and just popped one of kaa-chan's kidneys?"

"My gaki of a son." Natsumi couldn't help but laugh a little, because her baby had done just that. "Give me my baby, Tsunade-sama."

Red, wrinkled, and fussing now that things had shifted on him.

He was _adorable_.

Accepting Shikaku's help in straightening up, the former assassin laid the baby on her lap to get a good look at him.

Shikamaru cracked an eye open to see what the hell was going on and if it was worth it to protest whatever it was, then blinked them both fully open to see this new person as much as any newborn could.

Natsumi sucked in a breath.

_Oh._

"We don't know why it's like that. Any idea, little shadow?"

"He's got my kaa-san's colors. Rather Mana-baa-san now." She grinned up at the medic, almost unable to breathe again but this time from pure happiness. "My kaa-san had a right yellow eye, my green one was probably my tou-san's eye color. He's got her eyes."

Left was blue, the right a yellow. Shikamaru had his grandmother's eye colors.

"He'll probably get everything else from me." Shikaku opinioned lightly, offering a finger to get grabbed by their son. "He looks like every baby Nara I've ever seen."

"Probably." Natsumi stroked one side of the baby's face carefully, keeping her sharp as hell nails away from his face. "They might darken and turn different colors later, but for now they're just like I recall Mana's eyes being."

Over twenty years since that kunoichi's death, the only real thing she recalled about her biological mother was her eyes. Seeing them again in her own son had been _jarring_.

Tsunade grinned back at them. "I'll note it down for other medics, that it's genetic. For now, you're cleared to scat with the gaki."

"But? My kidney?"

"Gone and never going to be a problem again. Healing up the cuts we made to remove both the baby and your kidney took the most time, and there are antibiotics you need to take for the next few weeks, but you're perfectly fine enough to go home." The sannin wiggled a finger at them before she left the recovery room. "Just remember if you do want to breastfeed you need to be off the antibiotics first. A week and we might let you off those. Feed him baby formula for now, we'll see about anything else later."

Kami-sama _bless_ chakra using medics.

(ooo000ooo)

Eri, instead of heading to the hospital when Minato swung by with the news, headed for the Nara clan compound with toddler in tow. The gate guards apparently got the hell out of her way the moment they spotted her, as she was one of their new heir's grandmothers and that was something not even ninja got in the way of if they could help it.

She and Aikido were currently cooing over the baby Shikamaru, who was waving his baby fists around as if that would get the women to stop and let him nap. Akira was entertaining Midori outside, as the Leopard had met the newborn already and there wasn't else she could do for her Summoner with this many protectors around.

Shikai and Shikaku were of no help, the new grandfather might be holding the baby but he was grinning just as stupidly as her own husband.

Natsumi had a sneaky suspicion the old Nara was coughing up blood and hiding it from them. He might have been stubbornly holding off on seeing the medics until his grandchild was born.

If Shikai didn't go see either Tsunade or Shia himself, she might just have to mention something like that to them. Shikamaru was healthy and fine, there was no reason to not now. He currently was the last grandfather standing, since Sakumo got himself killed before this. He was not allowed to die until she had both a picture of him holding the baby and Shikamaru had memories of him.

Jiraiya was also a kind of grandfather, technically, but more of a perverted old uncle type that hopefully wouldn't corrupt her son until she could.

For right now, the new mother was exhausted enough not to have the energy to do it. She might have slept through the birth due to her kidney trouble, and medics of the iryou-nin sort might be able to heal flesh injuries well enough to avoid the ' _hey, that's bleeding_ ' or the ' _wow, that's sore_ ' parts of getting or having an injury, but that did extract it's own toll on her.

Blood loss was still blood loss, no matter the magical powers of chakra using healers.

Shikaku had wrapped her up in his arms when his father took the baby from them and they were both sprawled out on the living room's couch while the grandparents fussed.

Natsumi did not feel like moving, honestly, not even when Minato carried Kushina through the front door and let the redhead kunoichi loose to see the newborn in person.

Snorting, she hid a smile into her husband's neck.

"What?"

"Three, two, _one_ …"

"I am very sorry for the intrusion, Nara-sama."

"Nagato-san, it's alright." She peeked around Shikaku's scruffy jaw at the rather uncomfortable looking redhead Ame-nin. Kushina, having finally met her long lost cousin, would not allow him to escape her even massively pregnant and intent on seeing her technical sister-in-law's new baby. "You _are_ family. Find a spot to sit and just watch if you're that uncomfortable."

Jiraiya, who had only just come in with little Midori-chan and a Leopard, overheard that and snorted back a laugh.

Given that she met him only yesterday and said goodbye just before Shikamaru burst her kidney, his confusion over being dragged along was a little understandable. " _I'm_ family?"

"Ooh… you don't know." The Leopard Summoner twisted a bit to wave her brother by circumstances and choice over. "Minato, you didn't tell poor Nagato-san about the family tree yet, did you?"

"The twisted one?"

"Yes… for shame, kouhai."

"Ever so sorry about that, sempai." He didn't look it, not even remotely. Grinning, Minato turned to the very bewildered Uzumaki. "So, Nagato-san, there's this joke about family trees in Konohagakure and their snarled up branches… which we never did fix, honestly."

"I just made it even worse."

The Yondaime blinked a few times at the interruption, then turned to her. "How so?"

"Think about it. Maru-chan is not only Kashi-chan's nephew, but my team's through Gai. You're my baby's godfather and ji-san, but a technical tou-san for legal reasons to Kashi-chan and therefore a great ji-san too. If you stretch that just a bit I'm your daughter, in a kind of way of the tou-san of my otouto is my tou-san too, and that would make my son your grandchild. That doesn't take sensei into account, or the hime's relations with us and now to Maru-chan, or Koichi and Hiruzen-sama, or Komushi out in Suna."

"Ah." Minato turned back to the now vastly confused Nagato with a grin, who probably hadn't followed all of that very well. "Yeah, it's complicated. Welcome to the family."

Shikaku started snickering, Natsumi buried her smirk into his chest. The Toad Sage merely grinned widely when his redheaded student looked to him for some help with the crazy Leaf-nin.

Their kage just shrugged and ignored them. "It started with sempai, honestly. Her and the Hatake clan, when she wasn't yet married to Shikaku…"

\V/

Without five and a half pounds of baby in her belly, Natsumi felt a whole lot better than she did for the last few months.

Regaining the stomach muscles and tone she used to have before getting herself knocked up would be a pain, but the whole seeing her toes again thing was awesome.

"It takes about three or four months to work that back up enough to no longer feel weak. Then you'll have to learn how to fight again because your hips are wider and the chest is heavier than before." Tsume informed her dryly, when they took a break to feed the babies Akira was standing sentry over with Kuromaru. "Pain in my ass children, for sure."

"I'm just happy I can lose the jiggling now without getting bitched at."

Kiba had Shikamaru's fist in his mouth and was gumming it, her son was looking at Tsume's like he was retarded. Sasuke was far enough away that he was safe from chewing range.

Natsumi knew that probably wasn't what her baby boy was thinking, as it probably just felt weird when another chewed on your fist with no teeth, but it amused her.

Shikamaru, in return from saving him from being a dog boy's chew toy, smeared the drool on his hand all over her neck. "Thanks ever so, beloved little Maru-chan. I'll remember this the next time you decide to wake us up in the middle of the night."

"Oh, it gets worse."

"No, no it won't. Maru-chan is kaa-chan's little angel." Natsumi denied cheerfully, shaking the bottles they had prepared that morning to ensure it was mixed up well. "When he decides to be difficult, he's my husband's problem."

Tsume snickered and accepted one of the bottles, hoisting Kiba up so he had something else to chew on… even if he had no teeth. "Ah… the joys of marriage. Damn glad I never did it, even if another set of hands would've made this easier."

Slinking around her Summoner's back, Akira set the bottom of her muzzle on Natsumi's shoulder to watch the baby eat. The Leopard was fascinated with the little human kitten, and rather content with staying a bit longer even if Minato or Jiraiya could send her home. She would go back when Natsumi reestablished contact with her Leopards and informed them of their next possible Summoner's status.

"I agree with Natsumi." Mikoto chipped in as she got within range of them, having finished off her exercise routine with a light run around the Nara's training field. "Itachi-kun might not have been a problem child, but it doesn't look like Sasuke-chan will be as considerate as his nii-san."

Said baby was pouting rather hard at being left behind for his mother's run, and once he got to grips with his mother again it looked like he would scream if anyone made him let go.

The former assassin handed off another bottle to the Uchiha genjutsu mistress with a sigh. "This? This is getting ridiculous. We've got what amounts to a pregnancy recovery group going on. And there'll be two more in as little as two months."

"Mebuki and Momo lucked out with the no longer being active duty kunoichi or just straight up civilian things." Tsume agreed wryly, checking the level of baby formula in the bottle to see where Kiba was in his lunch. "But your foxy ladies will probably join us after popping. We're going to need more bottles."

The Inuzuka alpha probably didn't know why Natsumi found that title for Kushina and Mayuko so amusing if she called her fellow former ANBU captain Foxy, but she did and always laughed at hearing it.

Great and terrifying nine-tailed demon fox, biggest badass of the bijuu, reduced to the form of a foxy lady.

(ooo000ooo)

Originally, way back when the village was just brand new, Hashirama had a cousin and three friends that went to a noble's home to do some kind of mission. By legend, it was supposed to have been diplomatic in nature and be easy to complete. A reward for doing some difficult task, if you listened to the rumors still being bandied around about it.

Only one of those three friends returned, barely alive, and spoke of a trap specifically set to kill that Senju cousin.

Even if he survived due to the First's cousin's efforts, that friend did not wish to live without his own friends since that group contained his wife, the only family he had left. He asked of their very first Fire Shadow a mission that would not let him return, so he could keep that cousin's effort to save him for their village true and find his own peace with what had happened then see his friends and wife again.

One suicide mission later, Hashirama decided that wasn't acceptable to him. He grabbed twelve ninja who had suffered similar things, gave them the privacy and anonymity they sought to grieve their losses in blank zodiac animal masks, and formed the _Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai_ from them while binding them and the ones that followed them together as fellow shinobi who lost everything. He used them, yes, but in ways that made them wish to have something they would be so brutal to protect again.

Horse was the only survivor of the twelve, and she had to pick a name for herself because for decades the only name she had answered to was 'Horse'. Ryoko would admit she didn't know if the name was hers or one of her old and dearly missed friends that didn't survive the years, but it was hers now and she would wear it with pride for whoever it was that lost it.

ANBU was formed to catch that kind of thing, the suicidal and broken shinobi of Konohagakure no Sato.

As Natsumi noted at the beginning of her ANBU career, ANBU was almost inhuman at the bottom level. That was the level that took on those broken and emotionally scarred up shinobi, who mostly did not want to remember they had lives and lost most of what they fought for. All of ANBU wore masks, they had their own space however cramped and crowded in ANBU HQ, and more often than not anyone new was suspiciously inspected for their reasoning for joining. Newbies were also taught only one or two of the many sign languages they had, leaving most conversations over their heads.

ANBU was a complete and utter mind fuck, because that was the point it started reconditioning it's agents to care again.

Either by forcing them to find another mission partner, however stiffly it may start off, or by the numerous guard shifts around the Village Hidden in the Leaves, ANBU agents eventually got attached to something or someone again no matter how hard they tried to remain inhuman and unfeeling.

Mission failure due to lack of skills was scorned in ANBU, something impressed on them by the captains and longer-termed ANBU agents because _ANBU_ was _better_ than that, so missions were run with more than one ANBU agent for that reason. If you pretended that you didn't care, normally finding or realizing you had a preferred mission partner happened before you could try to deny it without getting scorned for fucking up.

There were hundreds of things ANBU kept an eye on for the Hokage, from his family to the clan heads and their own to just random patrols around the village. While you could isolate yourself from human contact if you wished, and that was slightly encouraged to prevent those jaded and bitter shinobi from causing problems for the civilians, you couldn't cut yourself off from the village itself. Something, even if it only was the sight of the sun setting on the trees when you did patrol duty or watching a baby grow up, would make you want to come back again just to see more of it.

ANBU still had the highest suicide rate out of all the ninja ranks, but some of them could be vicious _assholes_ when they found they did have something to hold on to.

The fact their new ANBU General just had a baby and was still running things, even if she needed the twin Bear-samas to help her out?

Panther would be surprised if her son sneezed without all of ANBU knowing about it and hunting down the cause to kill it in varied, brutal methods. They were attached to each other if they survived their first few missions, because they were way too stubborn assholes to die and fuck all if an ANBU mission killed them if their other issues hadn't. She might not trust more than two thirds of ANBU to hold her baby, but she would trust them to ensure nothing that ever happened to them happened to Shikamaru.

They might not be well-adjusted or sane in any measure of the words, but that just meant they had more options to work with.

Panther could not do what the Bears had, in giving up half of their daily lives to do a double blind switch.

She didn't have a twin, and a double would just be too much hassle at the beginning.

Instead, Panther was going to do it her own damn way.

The fact of the matter was, captain was as high as one went in ANBU. General was only shifted over once in a lifetime, that was thirty to forty years to wait if you wanted something higher. In ANBU terms, that was a lifetime or two of active duty missions.

There were, at present time, about two hundred ANBU agents and fifty captains. There was more, but the official count of ANBU agents only went by the number of them that survived a few months and discounted all the retired captains. There was three divisions of ANBU; Sabotage, Seduction, and Security.

Currently, the captains were starting to overlap. Panther had been part of that, taking on some of Hawk's duties or trading missions with Fox for a better one suited for her in return. Which was fine, that kind of thing would help keep the longer lived ANBU agents from getting killed by missions not suited to them.

The fact that kind of thing happened in the first place? Slightly horrifying.

There was no real authority in ANBU besides General or captain. The Bear twins, and now Panther, might be the ones screening missions but it was the captains that decided if they ran it or not. Those others fell to the general pool of ANBU ninja, to either be kicked at and then ran with a few fellow ANBU or given to that suicidal sod that just got in to either live or die on.

ANBU had not been formed to take on massive amounts of ninja or missions, it had started out as the shadows the Fire Shadow himself commanded for the village's protection. They volunteered to take on the worst types of missions for him, and kept up with it to this very day.

In other words, Panther had agreed to take on a massive mess for Minato.

Seduction would be left alone, as it was still small and those shinobi could take care of themselves better than she could. Security was full of retired shinobi, literally. Sabotage might be the biggest ANBU branch, but that didn't account for the suicide missions they also took on or that bigger pool of manpower starting to stagnate.

While she had been pregnant, Panther had gutted then re-staffed Security and restructured Sabotage. Captain wasn't the highest one could go anymore; there were now the Division Commanders for Seduction and Sabotage and the Watch Commander for Security. They each had four Lieutenant slots; one for intelligence handling, one for personnel management, one for mission planning, and the last for whatever else they might need handled for them.

Security got the ROOT children and half of Sabotage's more stable pool of shinobi, the older ones that survived and decided if that didn't kill them they weren't going to die, but everyone was still required to pull shifts from time to time. There was now a Head Medic of ANBU, Mouse, who liaised with the Konoha Hospital much to Tsunade's immense relief.

Fox might be a little unhappy she got shoved into the slot for the Watch Commander's Intelligence Lieutenant, but it was really only for a short while.

Stag would pick his own… eventually.

The Bears had beaten the stubborn ANBU into this new shape, and it seemed as if they were accepting of the new structure. Hawk got surprised just before he retired, he got himself stuck with Division Commander for Sabotage and ended up in the appreciative clutches of a Swan masked Seduction Commander.

Panther wasn't sure if Swan was male _or_ female… or if it mattered.

That also meant the paperwork that had once taken twin shinobi and an assassin of an assistant was dealt with by three more shinobi, and when the Bears retired finally the four of them could handle it in realistic amounts.

There was also the little detail that since everyone in ANBU knew Panther had been pregnant then had a son, and a month early than she should have had him, they therefore they knew who she and her son was. It wasn't like anyone could miss learning who she was, that kidnapping thing had caused Stag to get a little… _disgruntled_ at the risk she was put in and dragged Mouse off to ensure she was okay. That had attracted a lot of attention and spilled most of the secret of who Panther-sama was or what she was doing now to most of ANBU.

Which now meant Panther could do her damn paperwork wherever she pleased, as long as it got divvied out right and everyone knew where to find her in case of emergency.

Even if it was a former guest bedroom in her home, turned into an office so she could watch her son and do what the Bears needed her signature for.

This new structure of ANBU also meant Panther could pour over the plans being made for Kushina's labor without feeling guilty for blowing off her responsibilities in favor of this.

Stag was a good watchman, he had watched her back for years and kept it up even when his former leader decided to go for treason. He had most of the village in hand, and seemed to enjoy this new challenge for his guard skills he seemed somewhat proud of. Fox was still a few weeks from her due date, but didn't mind giving pointers until she was back on her feet and able to handle it herself. She also seemed to prefer managing the gossip and news the retired ANBU agents kept bringing in with them to whatever Inoichi had planned for her, but did both at the same time.

Hawk was a little nervous, but he was learning under the two Bears still and had another month of that before the two former ANBU Generals left active duty. Whether or not the Bears stayed gone was another thing entirely, but they would see. Hawk had stuck Wombat with one of his Lieutenant slots, and the two of them were pretty much on top of Sabotage's duties.

Swan was just appreciative that Panther knew she didn't know enough of how Seduction was run and left it to him… or was it her?

Either way, Natsumi could afford and did work out of home as her baby figured out this living thing.

She was also home and present when Shikaku let himself into the office room with a grin. "I got a job, wife of mine. Now you can't pout at me."

"I'll pout at you whenever I want to, hubby dear." Dropping the latest reports from Stag and his ROOT kids, sometimes those got strange as they tried to apply taught social skills to situations they didn't really know much about, the former assassin grinned up at him. It lost it's intensity when she spotted the slight regret. "What did you get? And you're getting deployed anyways, aren't you?"

"Yeah, few months and I'll be heading to Kirigakure no Sato with Ino and Chou." He shrugged, a slight frown on him when he checked on Shikamaru's situation with the baby rattle. "I don't think anything I did could have changed that, Natsu."

She sighed, because she really did wish he could be home for their hopefully first baby's firsts. "That's going to suck. Fuck Mist _over_ for this, Shika."

If something did happen in as little as a month, what would Konohagakure do in response? If the Yondaime did die?

Natsumi shoved those thoughts away, because panic would not help them. They were going to ensure anyone that tried to touch the hime or her godson would fry, or pound them into bloody ruin before anything could happen. Then they would go to Kirigakure and pound the ever living shit out of that mad old Uchiha, and the problem would be solved.

"Mmm, tempting. But I don't think they're anywhere near as pretty as my wife is."

"Huh, you say that now. When I'm not as bloated as a house with a baby."

"Even eight months pregnant, you would still beat a Kiri-nin in a beauty contest. Have you seen their teeth?"

Snickering, she got up to see what it was Shikamaru was beating his rattle on. "I've seen them. Kisame has a very nice set of those teeth."

"I wonder if it's natural or not."

Natsumi arched an eyebrow at her son, who blinked his grandmother's eyes innocently as he gummed the handle of the annoying thing. "Yeah, you behave now that tou-san's home. And no, I think they file those like that."

"He's daddy's boy alright. _Really?_ Files on teeth?" Shikaku grimaced at the very thought, plucking the noisemaker from their son rather deftly for someone who had only been a father for a few weeks. "To answer your original question, Minato got tired of me wandering around poking things and asked me to take over for the Jōnin Commander."

She blinked at him. "Jōnin Commander? I thought you would do something tactical related if anything, but that's great news. Congrats, Shika."

"Tactical, even running it, might end up boring me. No, this is a little different but somewhat related I think will keep my attention." The Nara clan head only shrugged, discarding the rattle into the box of baby distractions Shikamaru could go through rather easily. "It'll be something, if most of what I've done for our previous Commander is the same kind of thing."

Natsumi smiled at him, circling her arms around his neck even if she was in ANBU armor and that might get uncomfortable. "Thank you, for doing it even if you probably don't want to. I'm sorry for that, husband mine, I am."

"No, I wanted to do this. I'm a little ticked that I won't be here for some of Maru-chan's first steps, Natsu. I wanted to help you with that."

"Well then, put them down fast and come home again. You still owe me a daughter, dear."

He grinned in return, but sighed when Shikamaru got fed up with being ignored slightly and flung a nearby plushy at his head. "Are we sure he's a Nara? Most of us are lazy, he should be napping up a storm instead of getting into everything."

"That's learned behavior, Shika. He's currently a baby with a limited attention span and my energy." Natsumi pressed a kiss to his chin and turned to pick up their son. "Honestly? I'm not sorry about that."


	24. A Shift in the Tides

_Control your own destiny or someone else will._

_\- Jack Welch_

* * *

Koichi grinned at the letter, turning to show his teammates what else he got with it. "Taicho had her baby. Otou-sama sent me a picture."

"She wasn't due until the end of the month though." Ibiki objected a little uselessly, a furrow between his eyes. He still peered at the image with Gai over the scout's shoulder.

"Premature, her kidney failed when the baby kicked it a few times too many." Shifting the letter to show the interrogator where it gave the reason why, Koichi smirked at the baby's mismatched eyes. "I vote we never let him forget that."

The Intelligence jōnin chuckled darkly. "I can do that."

"Guys, it's a baby. It's not his fault." Nawaki protested, finally getting a look at the picture himself when Gai forked it over. "Damn, though. He's tiny."

"I vote we tease sensei for getting bested by her own son." Offered their taijutsu expert dryly with a grin. "Before he was ever born, even."

Ibiki blinked and Koichi about popped a rib laughing at the very idea.

\V/

Natsumi sloughed off the gore on the flat black painted armor that marked her as Konohagakure no Sato's ANBU General. Minato grimaced and took a few more steps back, even if he was already covered in more viscera than probably comfortable.

Jiraiya coughed into the ringing silence, fiddling with the brush and ink bottle he used to lay down the fūinjutsu seal for testing and firmly remaining within the limits so he didn't even brush the edges of the wet liquid.

Nagato, who had stood a little farther away from the seal than the blond, kicked the giant centipede's still twitching leg lightly and knocked the limb over into the rest of the bloody chunks Natsumi's over the top security seal had rendered it into.

"Well… that was… violent."

Flicking the worst of the mess on her hand off, the former assassin shrugged. "I said I made it up when I got terrified, kouhai, why you didn't listen to me when I said that is beyond me."

Her Hokage simply plucked the front of his haori away from himself, examining the blood splatter that reached him even standing at the very edge of the clearing their sensei had painted it into. "I will never doubt your ability to be ruthlessly terrifying when you get scared, sempai. I thought it would _fry_ something, not cause it to implode."

"Are we really going to use this?"

"I love the hime, Nagato-san." Natsumi informed him bluntly, not apologetic at all. "Not only is she my otouto's beloved wife, she's also someone I helped raise and watch grow up. I was the one to teach her to cook and sew, I was the one she came to for advice when she needed some, I helped her get married, and I'll even be here for the birth of her first child. I started looking for Uzumaki survivors to find her someone she was related to just so she would be happy. I'm _not_ very happy someone fucked that over, and while I might be highly unnerved and a little scared of whoever did it, I will at least ensure whoever it was will regret ever trying for her too. This might be the only help I can give you for the birth of her son if we are attacked, so it will be the best thing I can give if so."

Looking out over the ruin of imploding centipede left behind, the Uzumaki merely nodded. "I believe you."

"Though it's impressive, I would like to get out now." Jiraiya informed his students, a bit stiffly. "How do I do that, neko-chan?"

It was a highly lethal seal, one that didn't have built in safety catches to not fry someone she knew, and he didn't really specialize enough in any branch of fūinjutsu to instantly find any weak spots himself. Asking was probably the most expedient way of distancing himself from the deceptively innocent looking ink spread out on the rocky ground.

"It has to run out of chakra first, sensei. It needs to be continually fed, because if I made it sustainable on a natural source of chakra it would either never fall or wouldn't be effective enough. You've got maybe three minutes to wait."

Minato visibly measured the distance between them and their old teacher. "I should be able to get him out, right?"

"I did design it to allow hiraishin use, but the type I use. Anything else it will attempt to fuck up and drain the chakra out of, and probably cause you to fall into it. I'm pretty sure a type of teleportation was used in the Uzumaki cull, so I didn't want to leave any obvious openings to be taken advantage of."

He nodded to show he heard, and in less than a blink of the eye Jiraiya was on their side of the seal.

The Toad Sage eyed his oldest student warily, handing back the diagram she had drawn for him to create the test seal from. "You are a very scary little neko-chan."

"I've been crafting this for months, you shouldn't be surprised by what I can do by this point." Natsumi sniffed at him, wincing when another wet and loud _pop_ went off.

The snake that attempted to grab a bite of insect ended up a few feet away and rendered into bloody chunks instead, but the seal fizzled and died with that added strain draining the last of the chakra away from it.

It might not have been as violent or as loud as the centipede exploding, but it was smaller in mass.

Now they had to clean it up, so it couldn't be copied and dissected later.

"I'm not touching it."

"Not it."

"I just had a damn baby, don't look at me."

The three Leaf shinobi looked at their Rain-nin fellow.

Nagato blinked at them, mostly innocently if she had to guess. It was a little hard to tell with his Rinnegan. "I am a guest."

Minato considered that. "He's got a point."

Natsumi shrugged. "Still just had a baby."

Teacher and student stared at each other.

"I taught you."

"I'm Hokage."

The Toad Sage paused, frowning as he tried to think of something that trumped that point. "I'm older."

Snorting, the reincarnation flipped the white haired sannin off.

"That's _cheating!_ That doesn't count!"

Natsumi stuck her nose in the air at him. "Come on, Nagato-san. Let's leave them to deal with this."

Even if Nagato was an Uzumaki and had a damn good character reference in Jiraiya's word of his intentions, he was still a non-Konohagakure shinobi. Someone had to know where he was, because he was both a visiting dignitary and a possible major threat if he wanted to be. Usually Jiraiya tagged his younger student around, or Minato and Kushina were with him, when he wandered the village's streets. In a few weeks when he became a bit more familiar to the citizens of the Leaf he wouldn't need a Konoha-nin within arm's reach to explain why he was in their village, but for now he was being rather accommodating for the security he was under.

Natsumi worked just as well as the Toad Sage or the Yondaime and his wife, if a bit less respectable than either kage level shinobi or the Whirlpool Princess.

She would have to change out of her armor before they could go anywhere, but the Forest of Death's tower complex was only a few yards off from where they chose to test her seal.

(ooo000ooo)

Shikaku and Shikamaru were napping in the sun on the porch. The Nara clan head was sprawled out on his back, one arm resting on the ground the other holding the baby in place on his chest. Their son didn't seem all that fussed to be move just yet, even if he was just on this side of being awake from his nap. Instead Shikamaru was grasping and releasing his father's green Nara clan jacket, probably out of curiosity of what that was doing in next to his face, with one blue eye closed and a yellow one watching his hand move the green fabric around.

That was probably the most adorable thing she ever saw, but as tempting as joining them for it was they had a visitor.

Natsumi led the Uzumaki shinobi into the study instead of joining her husband and son for the privacy to discuss whatever it was he followed her home for.

"I thought Konohagakure ANBU did not allow others to know of who they were."

"Why does everyone think that?" Snorting back a laugh, she flicked a hand at the couch to invite him to sit while she looked at what had gotten in since the last time she picked through their clan's paperwork. "No, there isn't some arcane rule about no one may know who you are, and if they learn you have to kill them to keep it unknown. While we can't tell you who else is in ANBU, we can tell who we want to about who we are. You may not tell another who another agent is, but you may tell them about said agent if you use only the mask title instead of a name. If I wanted, I could stroll down the main road wearing my Nara clan jacket and my ANBU mask. That's not really discouraged, just not something that really happens."

Nagato thought about that as he did take the offered seat. "Why?"

"Well… we're not very proud of our work. Boasting about something you're not proud of is just… eh. It's a personal preference that generally spreads to every one of us, and respect for another's privacy." Natsumi shrugged, pulling open a letter from Komushi and reading his warning of his trip out to see her happening in a few weeks. "The whole secrecy thing is mostly just us not wishing to be sociable and security concerns, because it is punishable if a hostile village figures it out. I've paid that one once before."

"Ah…" He gave her a considering look, which with his purple and rippled patterned eyes was rather interesting. "Sensei has informed us of your other life."

"I know, he asked if he could."

"May I ask a question of you, then?"

She pulled her attention away from wondering how to ensure a certain Sand shinobi to left the village before the month of October and gave it to him. "What would you like to know? Bear in mind, I was a solider in my other life and therefore what I know is pretty much all military in type."

Inclining his head to acknowledge that point, Nagato laced his fingers together and set his elbows on his knees as he posed his inquiry. "He also informed us of the history you know, and that is what I wish to hear about. Yahiko is determined to find a way to bring peace, and I have sworn myself to help him find it. Do you know of anything that we could use for that?"

"Peace is relative, Nagato-san. What is the meaning of peace? Is it when no one is murdered in cold blood, or when there aren't wars fought because one country hates another because of whatever reason?" The former assassin could only shrug. "I know of a few attempts to create it, and I can help you avoid the pitfalls those attempts fell into. At the point that I died then, there was a war going on. Someone decided that because they didn't like us they would murder a large number of our citizens just to make us fear them. It was because one old man decided his religion viewed us as impure or unclean or what have you and ordered the massacre with as much thought as you would fight for your own village. Was it right? At that point I didn't really care, because our people died in terror and my job was to either prevent that from happening or ever occurring again by eliminating the threat. If you wish for peace, you need to both know what peace you want and how to protect it from things like that."

"Did it never happen, then?"

She thought about that. "Not on a wide scale, no. We were working towards that before that happened, and the occasions of peace I know of happened on smaller scales and for short times. Humans are obstinate, argumentative creatures that can be very perverse in nature. You and I may not understand this peace our most important people are so hung up on, but that's okay. We're warriors, and as long as they believe it's possible our job is to protect them and what they work on for them until they find us a way."

Nagato frowned slightly, rolling that over in his head. "Was your last life's home the biggest attempt you know of, then?"

"No, Rome was. A city-state built thousands of years before I was born, it conquered and added territory to it over centuries and kept a very good hold on their people and country. However, it overreached itself and when their last elected director was assassinated the government fell apart in the ensuing confusion. Outside of Rome it wasn't exactly peaceful, but it's citizens were mostly content under their rule. That lasted centuries, Nagato-san, and as a conquering based attempt it probably was the closest humans ever got. We were attempting to replicate it's representative council they used before I died, whether or not that worked is something I can't tell you."

"A council?"

"Every occasion I knew of one person attempting to hold that kind of power and build up their grip on it beyond a country always went wrong within a generation or two. When that power was spread out among many, it lasted longer." Natsumi gave him a grin. "What works for one might not work for another, so you get more points of view you can make it work for more. Even in this world, who would try to argue against a council of kages? I think we might be on the right track because we have Minato and your Yahiko working on adding your Ame into the Konoha-Suna alliance, and more will probably follow eventually once they see how it works out for you. What we need now is to figure out where to go from there and how to get everyone to work with it."

He blinked a few times, surprised.

"Closer than you thought, huh?"

"Indeed." Nagato started grinning slightly, leaning back as he looked at the beginnings of a collation their villages were feeling out in a new light. "I thought it would take years of fighting."

"It did. We had two wars and this last one to finish off yet." Natsumi sighed, rolling up the letter from her old apprentice. "Now it will just take years of fighting with words, with a few more scuffles dotted here and there. Which… the talking is something I'm going to have to leave up to others. I tried that, I suck at it."

His smile turned a touch sheepish. "I am not very good at that either, to be honest."

"That's why there's people like Minato and your Yahiko. Even if I still think he's an _ass_."

"Yes, well… that was not his brightest moment."

\V/

Kakashi frowned at the letter spread open on his lap, setting the Sword of Kusanagi down carefully so it wouldn't sink into the damp earth.

"What?"

"Nee-chan's baby was born a month early." Sliding a nicked finger down part of his letter from their old jōnin-leader and current Hokage, the kenjutsu user picked up an unsealed picture of said kunoichi and baby to show Obito. "She lost a kidney to the pregnancy and they had to induce labor."

"We knew it might happen." Rin reminded their jōnin leader, discarding her used bandages into their fire pit. "How does that feel now, Obito?"

"Better." The Uchiha reassured her, pushing himself up into a seated position. "Damn swamps. Why are there leeches?"

"Just be happy they are not as big as the ones in the Forest of Death. Or even poisonous, for that matter." She discarded the rest of the leech that somehow got buried into the back of his thigh into the fire as well. "How's Natsumi-sama's baby, Kakashi?"

"Got the same creepy eyes as his kaa-san-"

Kakashi sniffed at the splash the chūnin made when he shoved him into the water. "My nee-chan's eyes are not creepy. Besides, little Maru-chan has his baa-sama's eyes."

"Eri-sama's?"

"No, nee-chan's biological kaa-san's. Mana-baa-sama." The Hatake rolled his eyes at the medic's question. "How would Maru-chan get kaa-chan's eyes if nee-chan is adopted?"

Rin blinked a few times as she processed that. "Well, that was why I asked."

"Oh."

"Is anyone going to help me up?"

Rin and Kakashi looked at the disgruntled and wet Obito sitting in waist deep, stagnant water and shaking the mud off himself.

The medic turned back to their jōnin leader with a beseeching smile. "Can I see?"

"Sure."

"Hey!"

\V/

Natsumi was not the only kunoichi to have pregnancy troubles.

Tsume got her ability to procreate removed, as she maintained two kids were two too many and she never signed up for that crap. Mikoto and Shiori were both long distance fighters, they received less damage over the years of their kunoichi careers, but both probably would not have another on top of what they already had.

Mebuki, as a former taijutsu specialist who had fought from close range, had gotten hit in the abdomen way too many times for it to be likely she would be able to have another child. The former assassin herself lost a kidney and probably would have more complications during pregnancy if she ever did try for more with her husband, even if the second or third ones were supposed to be easier.

Mayuko having trouble near the end of her own was almost something the Nara's Lady expected, really.

Kunoichi were not prolific breeders for a reason.

 _ANBU_ on top of that?

They were a reckless, obstinate, violent bunch. Fox may have survived both whatever drove her into ANBU's clutches and her captaincy, but that didn't mean there weren't long term effects from that life.

However, convincing Mayuko of accepting medical help for her labor when Momo, a _civilian_ , did it the natural way?

Natsumi didn't think she ever knew who Inoichi married in that story, and this was a very bad realization for why she might not have known if this woman was who he ended up with.

What else could he do with a stubborn then dead wife and a newborn baby girl? Find another woman, even if he didn't want to, to be that baby girl's mother so Ino-chan had someone to look up to and model herself after. What woman wouldn't want to help the Yamanaka clan head, especially with a baby girl he probably doted on? If he disliked the woman after a while, either because that woman was infringing on Mayuko's memory or what should have been her rights to her daughter, Inoichi would've gotten very unhappy with his life. That home life stress was not good for interrogators, and the Head of Interrogation himself?

Well, that flower shop might have been a coping method rather than a hobby he occasionally liked to dabble with. Even if that hobby was stupidly useful, he grew his own poisons and hallucinogens to use when he worked as Konohagakure's head interrogator, it really was just something he did when off duty right now and not something he was really thinking of turning into a business.

It was probably a good thing Shikamaru burst her kidney, otherwise she wasn't sure what would have convinced the retired spy to accept a C-section in lieu of actually birthing her baby. What was good for one ANBU was just as good for another, and that assumption was practically beaten into them over the years they spent in the shadows.

Even if it did mean Momo was more of a stone cold bitch than the both of them for being the only one out of them to actually face that pain. "…and you know what? I'm _fine_ with that."

The civilian woman blurted out a startled laugh, clapping a hand over her lips in a kind of flattered but horrified manner.

Mayuko looked pretty confused for a few moments, but eventually shrugged. "If you insist, Natsumi-sama. I would much rather do it the normal way, though."

"So get the medics to figure out how to ensure this doesn't happen again, and demand another kid from your loving husband." The former assassin shrugged lightly with a smirk. "It's what I'm going to do, once they're sure my other kidney won't burst and little Maru-chan's about five."

She looked rather intrigued with that idea, placing a hand on the belly that still had a kid growing within.

Premature birth did carry with it some risks. Shikamaru might have been thankfully mostly grown, but he didn't quite have the baby fat he should to keep himself warm enough yet. There were a few more health risks that might crop up, but with Shia, under orders from Tsunade herself, continually checking up on him those might not develop.

She also might be able to leave him under Akira's furry coat and the autumn afternoon sun for a few to build up her muscle tone again with Tsume and Mikoto, or Shikaku could take him out for a nap around the same time frame, but they would stop doing that once the first winter cold snap set in. Until he got the weight he should have, his blue hospital issued baby blanket would be only one of two blankets he was wrapped up in.

"And you can then pick little Ino-chan's birth date yourself." She tacked on with an even bigger smirk.

"I suppose…"

"Do you really think that?"

Natsumi blinked at Momo, who looked pretty anxious for an answer.

"Momo, you gave birth to a _twelve pound_ baby boy. I am in awe of your pain tolerance. You've got ovaries of steel, woman."

She giggled, now with a little guilty but mostly thrilled smile on her lips. "Oh stop, it's not that impressive."

"I gave birth to half that, and I felt like crap well before actually getting taken to the hospital and getting knocked out. I missed my baby's birth because of the pain." Natsumi gave the Akimichi's Lady a shrug. "You might not think it's impressive, but to kunoichi? We're a little afraid of you."

Mayuko shook her head with a small chuckle, patting her own baby belly. "Honestly, I'm a little envious of her."

Momo, who did probably occasionally feel a little awkward being the only civilian of their group of clan heads and wives, couldn't stop smiling.

"Anyone gives you grief for not being a kunoichi, Momo, turn and look them in the eye then inform them you gave birth to an Akimichi baby. They'll shut up real quick." Natsumi laughed lightly, getting up from the hospital chair she had occupied for visiting the Yamanaka's Lady. "Foxy, you need to be less stubborn. There's always next time. Any more problems, ladies?"

The retired spy was bedridden for the last month of her pregnancy, Natsumi probably would've shared a hospital room with her had she actually carried Shikamaru into his last month of development.

Inoichi had rather desperately asked her to interfere with her plan of toughing it out so Mayuko wouldn't risk herself. The interrogator probably could have pulled rank as their clan head, but that wasn't a great option to use if you wanted a relationship to survive whatever trouble they had. Added to that, Inoichi respected his wife and did not want to have to order her around if he couldn't talk his way into getting her to follow him. They had a few years as a couple, and with Mayuko shifting gears from ANBU captain to Intelligence kunoichi, that probably meant there were still a few bumps between them.

Natsumi and Shikaku had to side step that problem a few times, and normally the former assassin caved in so that didn't need to ever be an option between them. Mostly due to guards being stuck on her because someone tried to kill her again, and it was within his rights as her husband to get techy about that but that really wasn't something to start a major row over.

Mayuko, who probably still thought of herself as Fox the retired ANBU captain and not Inoichi's lady wife and the mother of his baby, was probably still a little reckless when it came to her health if someone else would benefit from that. It was recommended to birth your baby, not rely on the medics for removing said child. That meant if it was the best option, she wanted that for her child even if it did damage her health and might possibly kill her.

Inoichi would probably greatly prefer a living wife and baby girl, no matter what he had to pull out to do it with, so that was what Panther would attempt to ensure.

The fact he could ask his team leader's wife, who was his old genin teammate as well, to do this for him when he was running out of time to do it himself?

Slightly cheating, but they were ninja.

Fox, and the rest of ANBU, followed Panther's lead now.

Mayuko could probably out stubborn medics and her husband, but not the ANBU General herself.

Inoichi, who had decided to linger around the hospital hallway while Natsumi did the ANBU thing and got his wife to be less stubborn in a fast hurry, gave her a rib cracking hug in thanks before ducking in to visit his bedridden wife when the two women left the spy to her thoughts.

Momo hummed in amusement as she hefted her baby Akimichi, and Chouji had to weigh about twenty pounds now at four months, and smiled up at her husband. "You won't _believe_ what Natsumi called me."

"Not in front of the babies, Momo. I've actually yet to swear in front of Maru-chan, I'd like to keep that going."

She giggled, hugging little Chouji to her chest and making the baby chortle along with his mother. Chouza gave them a shrug and a salute, wrapping an arm around Momo to lead her off to her own checkup appointment they were in the hospital for.

Shikaku snorted slightly, probably guessing rather well as to what Natsumi had told Momo, and shifted their own heir so he could be rewrapped up again. Shikamaru was trying to figure out how to rid himself of the stuffy blankets, and not appreciative mom and dad kept foiling all his hard work.

Natsumi carefully tucked the ends of the fabric back around her fussy son, letting her husband grip the edges to prevent more escape attempts. "How's Shikai-tou-sama, hubby mine?"

"He's… still probably going to be coughing up blood for a few more days, the medics aren't sure how to stop it yet." He didn't sound pleased at all, but probably mostly because his father had been hiding that from them. The grandparents had been visiting more often, Shikai couldn't keep it under wraps quite so easily anymore. Shikaku saw him doing it and dragged the man into the hospital himself. "They're thinking it's something he inhaled in the Second War, because he's not the only one to start coughing up chunks of lung."

"Or it could just be old smoke inhalation damage, we love our fire ever so much." Natsumi sighed heavily, giving Shikamaru a smile and a carefully manicured finger to grip when he peered at her worriedly.

Death was part of life, especially for shinobi. They chanced it so many times that occasionally the risks they subjected themselves to were a little reckless with their health. Death was something that might just be waiting at the end or midway to the next mission, it lost it's terrifying feel after a few of those.

Being told you might die because of whatever action you were stubbornly sticking to?

Why should ninja care about that? They defied death on almost a daily basis sometimes, this might just be another occasion it barely missed them.

\V/

Minato might have started out holding his godson, but Nagato got stuck with holding the baby in the end.

Kushina did not take the news well, most of the reason Natsumi didn't want to be the one to tell her.

The fact she was also nine months pregnant and had another month or so to go? Made the Whirlpool Princess a little temperamental, to say the least.

She went from bawling into their Yondaime's chest to hauling Natsumi closer by a very strong grip on her Nara clan jacket, emerald green eyes as hard as jade. "I want in. Let's make this _son of a bitch_ pay for killing my clan."

"We need a barrier from you, hime." The former assassin hastened to offer, warily eyeing the ruby red locks that were starting to split into nine parts. "You and I might not be able to fight, but we've got Nagato-san and your husband to do it for us and instead I'll maintain whatever fūinjutsu we want to have with. I have a seal for killing whoever attempts a sneak attack, but it's more chakra based than physically repelling. If you can handle that-"

"Damn straight I can." She sniffed. It was a tossup if that was out of disdain or from her crying fit. She was better at barriers than Natsumi, just like the former assassin was better than both her and her husband at explosives. "Cousin, you're about to get a crash course in Uzumaki sealing."

"Ah… alright." Agreed the only other Uzumaki in the room, awkwardly shifting Shikamaru around when the baby decided his hold was a little uncomfortable and he needed a new one.

Kushina blinked at him, teary eyed and probably still a little pissed off. "That is _so cute_. Before you leave, I want a picture of you holding my baby."

…or not.

Natsumi could only shrug at Minato's bewildered look.

Pregnancy hormones confused her too.

Nagato could only nod warily, even if Shikamaru was besting him in a game of 'wiggle until this person gives me back to mom'.

Rubbing away some of her tears, Kushina frowned heavily at her baby bump. Then she gave her husband a regretful look. "I'm sorry, Minato."

"It's not your fault, hime. Once this is over with and we get whoever this is, sempai can continue looking for more of your clan without worrying she'll lead whoever this is to them. Just for now, we're going to be a little more paranoid about where you give birth." He informed her honestly, lightly hugging her to give what reassurance he could. "Focus on this, we'll handle the rest for you."

" _More?_ I thought she said-"

"Sensei found Nagato-san, hime." Natsumi reminded her, omitting what he had suggested might be the reason for the cull. "He also gave me another lead that hasn't dead ended yet. I'll go back to looking once you and my godson is safe and sound. There might be more, with this number of people involved it's more of a likelihood that not all who escaped Uzushiogakure no Sato where successfully killed off to the last."

Kushina's frown remained, but it wasn't quite so heavy. "I hope there are."

Since she had been finally let go, the ANBU General rose up to rescue Nagato from her son's fussing. Shikamaru pouted up at her, fisting her jacket in his hands so he wouldn't be passed around more.

He really did dislike it when he was handled by strange people.

Nagato, who looked pretty relieved to be sans a baby, knelt down in front of her. "I promise to help, cousin. Calm yourself."

"Ame is closer to that lead than Konohagakure." Natsumi chipped in dryly. "He'll probably have better range than me at first."

"You all are freaking awesome." Kushina wiped her eyes again, giving a bright grin at all four of them. "Now, let's figure out how to kick some ass."

\V/

Shikamaru blinked at this new person he was being shown.

Sasori blinked back sleepily.

Yawning, her son decided a nap was more entertaining than continuing to stare down a Sunagakure jōnin shinobi puppet master.

Komushi snickered while Natsumi rolled her eyes.

Her baby boy was becoming more Nara by the day. She blamed her husband. Shikaku greatly preferred nap time spent with the baby, rather than trying to figure out how to feed him if he didn't have the equipment his wife did by the grace of her gender or premade bottles on hand.

Why that was, when the directions for making up a bottle of formula was printed on the _label of the can_ , was something she was going to attribute to his dislike of cooking for himself.

Babies were supposed to sleep a lot, she knew that. A month or so later her son should've been sleeping a bit less than he had, but he rather seemed content to keep up eighteen hours of napping a day.

Shikamaru had figured out nap time could get the fussing to stop, as long as he shut his eyes and kept them closed the noise generally died away and he got quality time with mom and dad.

Yeah, her brat was probably too smart for his own good. He pulled the trick way too much for it to be just coincidence, and if you managed to blow gently on his nose before he really fell asleep he would crack an eye open to give you a grumpy stare.

Naras, entertainingly enough, had etiquette when it came to another Nara's napping.

As long as one's work was done and it wasn't life or death important, it could wait.

Shikamaru's nap time? Had not been interrupted for his first few weeks of life, not even when Shikaku was taking one at the same time and the main deer herd somehow escaped the forest.

The Nara clan head didn't wake up until Rikumaru nuzzled him, interested in meeting the human baby. The stag even held still to get uncoordinated baby pats from the clan's heir, but bolted from the Nara clan's beast master at first. He didn't get very far, Shikaku's shadows snagged him before he could escape.

Natsumi would _swear_ the stag gave her husband a puppy-eye of disappointment for that, she wished she had a camera on her at the time.

Since Shikamaru had decided to pretend to nap, or actually take a nap, the former assassin turned to her old apprentice with a small smile. "Your letter didn't say what this trip out here was for, Komushi, but I am happy to see you have all ten fingers still."

Sunagakure's sole fūinjutsu user grinned at her. "Mostly to see your baby, shishou, but I do have a few questions."

"Hmm… are these questions about the things I _pointedly_ never told you about?"

Komushi's grin fell, and he sighed. "Yes. I know you probably can't tell me, shishou, but I would desperately like whatever help you can give me."

Suna would like a jinchūriki then. Natsumi drummed her fingers on the floorboards, wondering if she asked Minato would she be allowed to teach him some of human sealing. "I am still under orders, so I cannot directly inform you of what you wish to know."

"Directly?" Sasori repeated shrewdly, distracted from examining the baby Nara heir. "Can you indirectly aid us then, Natsumi-dono?"

"I have already. I very pointedly never told Komushi what he is now asking about, the gaps should be rather noticeable." Shrugging, the Leopard Summoner grinned a bit toothily. "Additionally, my sometimes thick apprentice should wonder why I gave him _two_ gifts for his completion of his fūinjutsu apprenticeship when the tradition is _one_ useable but costly item and some supplies. If I ask, I may be denied to do even that much as this is Uzumaki territory he is asking about."

"Oh." Her old apprentice spoke rather inanely, blinking wide eyes at her. "Well… _oh._ "

Sasori gave his best friend an exasperated look.

"Be _sure_ of your seal work, Komushi. Screwing up this is a whole lot worse than just exploding what you're working on. To test your theory, whatever it is over or about, try sealing a storage seal to yourself first."

He nodded, still probably thinking of the furniture she had made for him. "Hai shishou. Will you still ask?"

"Yeah, and it's my otouto now so I might actually get permission to help you a little. How much would be mostly up to him, though."

"I liked Minato-san… _sama_." Correcting himself sheepishly, Komushi started grinning again. "He was very patient with me when I asked him questions."

"But he's now married to Uzumaki Kushina-hime." Natsumi informed him dryly. "It might just be up to her, what I will be able to tell or show-"

Shikamaru suddenly hiccupped, startling himself out of his nap. Scrunching up his nose in dislike, the baby gripped his mother's tank top and pouted up at her.

"That's not my fault, you're the one that did it." When her son didn't seem too phased at that denial, the Nara kunoichi sighed. "Excuse me, gentlemen, I think someone may be hungry."

"Aa… should we leave?" Sasori might have a good poker face, but Komushi blushed horribly at what his mind showed him.

"Naw, I'll go upstairs. You two are free to hang around if you want."

"I think we should go," Komushi insisted, warily looking around at the Nara clan head's study, "Shikaku-sama still scares me."

" _Still?_ "

"Naras are scary, shishou." He insisted, getting up and helping her up because he was that much of a gentleman when it came to her. "He showed me once, what a Nara could do with one's shadows. Then he told me one could not out run their own shadows. I don't want to see that again."

"He did, did he?" Well, that explained some of her apprentice's hesitance when it came to her husband. Natsumi wondered if she was annoyed or amused at Shikaku for scaring the piss out of him. She rolled her eyes and settled on amusement, when Shikamaru got insistent to be cared for and snagged hold of some of her hair to tug on. Naras were possessive _bastards_ over their creature comforts, and that was something she had gotten used to years ago when she realized she was Shikaku's preferred comfort. "Well alright then, I'll see you two tomorrow?"

"Hai, shishou."

"Very well, Natsumi-dono."

Natsumi waved them out, trekking up the stairs to the nursery while her old apprentice showed himself and his best friend out of the house.

She had three to four weeks to get rid of the two of them. Hopefully Minato wouldn't mind her teaching Komushi a bit about jinchūriki seals, and she could send them home after a week or so. Jōnin shinobi or not, she did not want the two of them caught up in Konohagakure problems of that caliber.

Chiyo-baa-sama might have a few objections to her grandson and his best friend tangling with an insane former founder of the Leaf within their village's walls.

\V/

Chouji was five months, and Shikamaru four weeks, when Ino was born.

Her mother chose the eighteenth of September for her birthdate.

That poor girl.

Natsumi smirked lightly when she met the little baby girl, shaking a waving fist in greeting. "Poor, poor Ino-chan. You just had to be the youngest, didn't you?"

Mayuko snorted, grinning lightly from her half inclined position supported by hospital pillows as she recovered from a C-section birth and the painkillers she got for going through it.

Ino blinked her blue Yamanaka pupil-less eyes up at her, inspecting this strange woman before her.

Inoichi ignored her because he was way too pleased and proud of his daughter to care what order the heirs were born in.

…or possibly didn't care at all over her teasing about it, because anyone that bothered Ino later in life would have to deal with two older brother types intent on their hides and her own father and uncle types.

The fact Panther and Fox would probably get first dibs was also ignored.

\V/

The first of October was when her nerves started to get to her.

She might have been able to get Komushi a few pointers and got him and Sasori out of the village before the end of September, but all she really had left to do was work on her physical recovery from pregnancy and wait now.

Six weeks of age, and finally at the point he was allowed to ditch one of his two blankets, Shikamaru was her best distraction. He didn't make much noise, and greatly preferred pulling hair when he needed something, but he could wail if he wanted.

Shikamaru also knew if Kiba and Sasuke was with him that wailing was really the only reliable way to summon mom to help him, the fact Ino wailed a bit herself was probably just icing on the cake.

Kuromaru and Tsuyoshi, Summoned for the day to help the nin-kin with guard duty, were cringing at the Nara heir's volume when Natsumi finally reached her baby's side.

"I think my ears are ringing." Tsume quipped dryly as she strolled up to the former assassin.

"Hush you." He wasn't wet, nor did he look or act like he was hungry. Natsumi was confused, because her son generally didn't fuss without a reason for it.

Shikamaru blinked at her innocently with his grandmother's eye colors, sticking a few fingers into his mouth.

"What in the world, Maru-chan? Did Kiba-chan try to chew on you again?"

"Don't blame my gaki, woman."

"Teach him not to gum on others, then."

Maybe he was hungry and just didn't want to fuss like he was?

Shikamaru refused the bottle Mayuko handed up to her, though, so that couldn't be it.

"Okay… I'm stumped."

"He wants to be coddled." Tsume informed her. "We've been at it a bit longer than we usually do, he missed you."

Natsumi blinked at her blankly, and even the former spy looked a bit bewildered at that suggestion. The Inuzuka alpha snorted back.

"Look, I've had one already. Sometimes they just want you around. Hana did it to me a lot, almost drove me paranoid there was something wrong with her. Your gaki just wants to be held."

She thought about it, warily watching her son for anymore screaming fits. It had been the longest Shikamaru had gone without seeing one of his parents nearby, and she wasn't sure if he realized her Leopards weren't just really big plushies that sometimes nuzzled him in greeting or goodbye and could purr for his amusement. He seemed perfectly fine now that he was being held.

Experimentally, she lowered him back to the blanket spread to cushion the babies from the earth.

He gave her a betrayed look and a pout.

Sighing, Natsumi stretched out on her side next to him instead of getting up and wandering away. "Well… break time, apparently."

Grinning Tsume flopped down next to Kuromaru and Kiba. "Don't do it too often, or he'll expect you to drop everything every damn time he opens that tiny mouth of his."

"That is a good suggestion." Mayuko offered blandly, looking down at her daughter curiously. "I wonder if my husband or I can follow that."

"It's hell to start with, true."

Now that she wasn't leaving him alone again, Shikamaru shifted to turn his head and stare at her.

Natsumi stuck her tongue out at him and flipped the wild woman off with her other hand not supporting her head.

Her baby couldn't see it, it technically wasn't swearing.

Tsume snorted at her again, as Kiba started babbling noises at her and patting her knee to get her attention on him. The former spy just sighed, and seeing as she had already been at the babies blanket before Shikamaru started screaming merely went back to reading her book.

The baby Nara heir just seemed content to get that hand rubbing his belly, apparently settling in for another nap.

That was how Mikoto and her eldest found them only a few minutes later, the genjutsu mistress having ran home to pick up something for them to eat since this was the Uchiha training grounds they were in and her home was closer. Sasuke had kicked up a fuss of his own and got scooped up and set next to Shikamaru so he could play with the Nara kunoichi's braid instead of just watch the other clan babies get coddled. "Well, this is cozy."

Itachi, who probably only just finished with the history lessons the Uchiha clan children were given at his age, wandered over to them and picked up his baby brother. Deftly untangling Natsumi's braid from his pudgy baby hands all the while as he sat down near where his mother seemed intent on sitting.

"Thanks, Itachi-chan. Have you come out to help your kaa-sama?"

"Aa… and to see my otouto, Natsu-oba-san." Sasuke might actually be a quarter of Itachi's size, but the young prodigy was rather expertly handling his baby brother.

Mikoto merely smirked as she forked out something to eat to the other kunoichi; onigiri for Tsume, a few cakes of daifuku for Mayuko, tuna sushi for Natsumi, while she kept hold of the fruit she brought and only shared a few pieces with Itachi.

"I don't know how you can eat that." The Inuzuka alpha sneered at the food the former assassin started popping happily. "Raw fish, _ech_."

"I like nigiri." Natsumi sniffed, tossing Tsuyoshi a fish covered lump of rice when she noticed his attention. "Besides, I kept away from it when I was pregnant. That and sashimi. Now I'm not and I want my fish, however I can get it."

"You are a very strange neko-chan." Mikoto informed her haughtily. "A cat that likes fish but won't drink milk."

"I drink milk. I drank a whole lot when pregnant with this little monster." Poking her son in the belly only earned her a blue eye cracking open to stare at her. She got dismissed from his concerns a moment later when that eye closed again. "And now he's ignoring me. Well… I feel appreciated."

Tsume started coughing, because trying to laugh through a mouthful of rice was a tricky proposition at the very least, and Mayuko patted her on the back helpfully as she chewed some of her snack. Mikoto just huffed, nibbling neatly on her own apple and sharing a few slices with her eldest.

The quiet was what allowed her to pick up the sound, at first.

Natsumi blinked, lowering the last bite of her snack and cocking her head.

"What?"

"Shush." The former assassin flapped a hand at the Inuzuka alpha, frowning lightly. "No."

"What is it?"

Natsumi eyed her son, a cross between amused and disturbed. "He's purring."

Shikamaru could _purr?_

It was slight right now, an almost unheard tiny humming pattern instead of the vibrating rumble the Leopards and their Summoner could do. It was still a purr, even Tsuyoshi looked rather proud of the Summoner's kitten for finally doing it. Kuromaru had a kind of doggy version of the _what the fuck_ look on his furry face as he pricked his ears up and cocked his own head to hear it better.

Mikoto, who had been the one to ask after the Nara kunoichi shushed the Inuzuka one, started smirking. " _Purring?_ I never knew you could do that, Natsumi."

"I can snarl, want to hear that?" Instead of waiting for an answer the former assassin stretched out next to her son again, listening to him purr to himself.

She almost stopped herself from purring back, as it never had been something she liked about her Contract's effects. Her Leopards got human qualities in that exchange, in a few generations they might even get a humanoid ability to walk on two legs and have opposable thumbs. In return, Natsumi got her claws and fangs as well as the ability to purr herself to use as she wished.

Apparently the Leopards wanted to claim ownership early, just in case Natsumi didn't get the message they wanted her kitten as their next Summoner… or it could just be a kind of inheritance for having the Leopard Summoner as a mother.

Either way when mom started purring back Shikamaru at first seemed surprised, opening both eyes to stare at Natsumi for a moment. Then he wiggled a bit closer, as much as he could with a baby's motor skills, and simply listened to her purr to him.

Tsume watched her own son, Ino, Sasuke, and Itachi all fall into a drowsy kind of nap or state listening to the Nara's Lady purr. Even the little prodigy, who was rather adept at genjutsu from his mother's teachings and only just able to keep himself awake. "Damn. _Now_ she tells me she could do that. Where was this when Hana was so fussy?"

Mayuko just watched her baby girl fall asleep over her book in amazement, not entirely sure how this meshed with Panther the assassin's usual image in ANBU.

"I wonder if she would mind putting them to sleep every night." Mikoto observed dryly, eyeing the last child not asleep or sleepily dazed from it.

Shikamaru just fisted mom's shirt in one hand, still listening even as Tsuyoshi joined in.

When he started purring with them, Natsumi decided it was cute.

\V/

Panther had spent half of the night of October tenth hoping she would be wrong. That nothing would happen, and she was just paranoid as hell about something occurring.

It was possible nothing would happen, Obito and Kakashi would never get in a fight over Rin's safety now. If she got snatched, they both would go after her instantly and probably ruthlessly destroy what tried to separate them unwillingly. Kakashi had lost before, he hated it and wouldn't let his beloved sensei go though it if he could help that. Nor were they anywhere near Grass at the moment, leaving the mission that got the Uchiha smashed under rocks prevented from happening. Therefore Obito couldn't be Tobi, and if that was true they should have a lack of insane Uchiha sightings this night.

She sometimes hated being right.

Really, _really_ hated being right.

Naruto had just been born when her seal went off the first time. Panther instantly removed Biwako from the prepared area of the cavern they were in, depositing her back with her husband in the Hokage's Tower and teleporting back to the Forest of Death nearly in the same instance. Even with Tsunade healing what she could, Kushina would not be able to defend or move herself very well. Instead, the ANBU General picked her up bridal style because other than her own chakra store she wouldn't be able to fight effectively either.

It had been less than two months since Tsunade pulled her baby out of her, it was lucky Minato even let her participate in this.

The new father had the wailing Naruto, who was not happy with this situation at all, while Nagato seemed rather keen on keeping himself between the new threat and his cousins and both sannin guarded Panther's back.

Which let them watch the vines growing out of the naturally occurring cavern try to compensate for the fūinjutsu seal currently both draining the chakra guiding them and the barrier preventing any easy shortcuts from being allowed.

"Knew that would be too easy."

Kushina gave her a light hug with one of the arms looped around her neck. "Cheaters."

"It can't exactly be called cheating when it was a trap in the first place." Minato informed them both dryly, his attention more on wrapping his precious baby up in a swaddling blanket. He had gotten a whole lot of practice at it with Shikamaru and his squirming attempts at escape. "This is just…"

"A measure of how smart they are?" Nagato finished for him.

"Sure, let's go with that."

Jiraiya was handed the newborn when the vines started retreating, to free the Yondaime up to fight off and hopefully kill whoever this was.

Minato's attention getting drawn downward to the cavern floor drew the rest of their attention to what it was they were opposing.

The plant man, not whichever bastard Uchiha it was operating as Madara's proxy for the last few decades. Panther almost wanted to pout, because that would mean they would have to go into Mist to figure out who that was still. Her husband would still be getting deployed in a few months, no matter what happened this night.

Wait… Madara had to be knocking on seventy or eighty by this point. Shinobi that old were crippled wrecks if they survived their years as ninja, one that old wouldn't have been able to continually genjutsu a kage-level shinobi into obeying him and hide from everything else that might object to a strange ninja hanging around their kage. Jōnin level shinobi, even Kisame himself, would have caught something over the years… or maybe they did and that was why all those Kiri-nin had committed suicide on their borders without the conscious realization for why they were doing it.

Obito might have been at risk for becoming that proxy, but who had been doing it before then in that story? The kid was only fifteen right now, someone had been controlling Yagura for most of his term as Mizukage and possibly some of the time before that if Kirigakure was not sure of the mind controlling thing going on. It couldn't have been Obito, because the kid was only at risk if he got a serious but not lethal injury this guy could save him from for Madara.

It could have been Madara to start with, but keeping it up even as his physical form started failing due to age?

Who the fuck was Tobi, if he wasn't or didn't start out as Obito?

Panther would really like to know, and if they still had to watch out for a mad as fuck Uchiha wandering around who wasn't as old or crippled as Madara was now.

Besides, with Minato's senses? He would have known his own student, thought dead or not, no matter the attempt to conceal that in pitched battle. Whoever it was that attacked them originally could not have been Obito. Natsumi knew her own students to the point she could probably get their location from the other end of the village if she wanted, and her skill in sensing with chakra sucked compared to her brother's.

Crouching, to allow her to dodge in any direction if needed, Panther started scanning the surroundings even as Minato attempted to prompt some information out of the plant man.

"Well… you're… rather strange looking." The Yondaime started almost pleasantly, examining the half-and-half look to this thing in the flickering torchlight. "I almost didn't sense you at all… it's almost like you're not even human enough to register."

"How amusing, you're the first to actually suspect anything about me." It rather smoothly rose up from the ground, a split leaf kind of covering for the head sprouting from the shoulders and green hair with a wretched smirk on his white side and a nasty scowl on the black. "I find that vastly irritating, how did you know?"

Alright… either that was a big warning sign for multiple personality disorder, or they were twins in a way. Given that one side looked amused and the other annoyed, it was probably a bit of an equal either or thing.

"You were not very subtle with how you killed my clan off." Nagato informed the thing, a frown rather stubbornly placed on his face. "The assassin that found the pattern identified a single culprit or multiple killers with the same method. That assassin further discarded the multiple theory, as the order of the killings was too neat to be done by more than one who could travel quicker than a ninja could run. That being said, are you the culprit for the murder of my clan? You seem to be rather intent on finishing the job, and seem to have the skill required for it."

"Why would I tell you if we are or not? It will not matter, either way." The leafy green flytrap looking thing opened wider, splitting down the middle and separating the two halves in a rather uncomfortable looking tear.

Twins of a type, then.

The black half, with a vastly desiccated looking remains of a white half still attached, turned a baleful beady yellow stare on the Yondaime. "Give up the jinchūriki, and you might live through the night."

Kushina sneered at one of the things over Panther's shoulder. "I have a name, _ass_."

"Not in front of the baby, hime." Jiraiya patted the redhead on the head with a broad smirk. "Little Naru-chan will probably hear enough of it from his ba-chan."

The ANBU General rather wished she could flip the Toad Sage off. She had yet to swear in front of her own kid, why did he expect her to be the one to start swearing in front of Naruto? Kushina did it once before, in front of Shikamaru, and again just now in front of her own son.

The white half of the twin thing giggled, in a high pitched and completely creepy manner. "You have to come out sometime, we can wait."

Minato gave the half he was keeping an eye on a vicious smirk. "He's only half right. Nagato-san?"

"I am ready." The Ame-nin confirmed, giving the white half of the plant man a look of his own.

The Yondaime placed a hand on his back, and in the next instant the two of them were outside of the barrier and trap seal protecting the rest of them.

Black and grumpy only had a split second to dodge in, before Minato would have shoved a kunai through his head. Nagato managed to land his first hit, planting a chakra disruption blade into the white half's head. The Yondaime's follow up kick managed to knock the black half backwards into Nagato's reach, and the Rinnegan user used another of those black rods to pin that half against a nearby stalagmite.

Somehow, both halves of the plant thing were sliding off the blades. While it might have disrupted their chakra systems as it should have, it didn't look like it would be permanent enough to interrogate the two things for any answers they might have without major risk.

The redheaded shinobi looked fairly annoyed at that development. "We are going to need more room."

"Why is this _never_ easy?" Minato grumbled, mostly to himself as he eyed the wretched smirks both halves of the plant man gave the two of them.

They lost the smirks in the next second, when the Konoha shinobi opposing them planted two hiraishin kunai into their chests. Nagato grabbed the back of the Yondaime's haori and all four of them were teleported out of the cave and into a mostly prepared clearing up above and more north of where they picked to have Kushina's labor take place.

Beneath her mask, Panther bit her lip and hoped Minato would manage to get out of range of any retaliation. Those two had a month to get used to the other's fighting style, but against a pair of shinobi who were or could act as twin shinobi did… they might be a little hard pressed to keep up at first.

Tsunade heaved a sigh, returning her attention to the cave they were situated in. "Right… that leaves just us then."

"One or two creepy ones do _not_ an assault force make. Not if they are challenging the _Yondaime_ for his wife and child." Her fellow sannin grumped, tending to baby Naruto's baby pouting over the delay in caring for him. "I bet we have more watching."

"I'm not that much of a sucker, Jiraiya."

Kushina was distracted, peering up at her son. "Can I see him, Jiraiya-sama?"

The Toad Sage obediently knelt down, letting mom and son get a good look at each other.

They both ignored the kunai that would have impacted the back of Jiraiya's head, because it did bounce off the barrier Kushina supplied for that exact purpose.

The metal also sparked a reaction from Panther's seal, a drain instead of an implosion.

Chakra imbued then. Panther took a good look at this one, who seemed to be the Uchiha proxy she had been thinking about.

This Uchiha wearing an orange mask with a black swirl pattern and two eye holes, and he had to be a member of that clan given that mop of hair and those red eyes, examined them in return.

" _That's_ Madara?" Tsunade sniffed, scowling at the silent man watching them.

"I highly doubt it." Panther informed her dryly. "He's not old enough, for one. Probably a bastard child he knocked some woman up with, because Madara has to be pushing at least seventy if he is still alive."

"Tou-chan's dirty little secret?" Jiraiya suggested, a smirk on his face as he tucked his godson firmly into the crook of his arm.

"After he got kicked out of the village, for sure." The Slug Princess agreed wryly, cracking some of her knuckles. "Probably not more than twenty, I'd say."

"Damn."

"Little shadow?"

"Who the… _heck_ is in Kirigakure, then? He probably doesn't have the skill to mind control a kage or keep him under, and Madara really is that old so I don't think he's in there." Did whoever it was out there get killed when Yagura was? Was that why Obito took up the Tobi disguise? Then was this Tobi or was there still yet another Uchiha running around loose?

"Might be a grandson."

"There is something seriously wrong with that, then." Panther informed him blandly. "He what? Knocked up some… woman of questionable morals a few times? Raised the gakis up a little, then had baby one kill baby two to get the really good but damaging swirly red eyes, and then had baby one knock someone else up or did it over again in the last forty or so years to look for a good heir for his little revenge plans? Really, either Madara is the most active geriatric I ever heard of or he's a sick little… _butt_."

One of the stalagmites impacted the barrier, but was ignored as well as it fell to pieces.

"Sorry, did you want to be part of this conversation?" Asked the Toad Sage brightly. "You could have just said something."

"Don't mind me, I'm just going to wait out your discussion of my supposed genetic history." Said Uchiha claimed almost cheerfully in a manic kind of way, sidestepping around rock chunks to find something else to try slamming into the barrier to get it to fail. "Carry on."

Jiraiya simply nodded cheerfully, then turned back to the others. "He could've had a daughter, too."

"Eww…" Kushina opinioned, wrinkling her nose. "And we picked you two as godparents? Remind me why, again."

Tsunade heaved a sigh as another column of rock impacted the barrier. "Will you stop? Or we might actually have to let the fūinjutsu fall and fight."

"We might have to, anyways." Shrugging, the sannin jerked a thumb over to where the Uchiha was scouting for more rock. "I don't think our two will get done with that plant thing anytime soon."

Panther wanted to swear a blue streak. She would be very happy safely secured behind the two fūinjutsu seals for the entire night, instead of running and ducking any attempts to kill or capture the woman in her arms.

His royal furriness could be released from his jailer through either option.

They would have to pick soon, either wait it out or fight this one off. Sannin they may be, but there was no such thing as unlimited chakra. Both seals drew massive amounts of power, even if the security set drained chakra to help supplement it and a sannin held only one. Kushina couldn't hold even just the barrier herself, after giving birth she was exhausted no matter what Tsunade healed from the process. Panther couldn't do it if they wanted to cheat and get out the same way Minato took himself and Nagato out of it, and the sannin probably wanted each other as back up if they really did need to fight.

Baby Naruto got set on mom's stomach, the hime wrapping her other arm around her baby incase Panther had to use the hiraishin kunai they scatted throughout the Forty-Fourth Training Grounds.

The ANBU General would rather not try running to any of the clan compounds, as those were filled with ninja that probably wouldn't react in time to survive any major fight tearing through them. She also didn't want to endanger the citizens of the Leaf, the civilians who would only just get in the way. Leaving possibly the Hokage's Tower and Hiruzen, though she would like to save that for a last ditch attempt; the Uchiha Military Police Headquarters, where Fugaku had been put on alert even if he didn't know what was going on; ANBU HQ, which was also on alert and no one should be doing anything but waiting for orders or patrolling with the MPs; and the underground tunnels as other possible locations she could try to hide in.

Panther still didn't know the effects of hiraishin on babies, though, and didn't really want to risk that either unless she had no other choice. Tsunade had diagnosed extensive use came with the risk of ligament damage, but did a baby have the ligaments to damage or would it transfer to the infant's delicate internal organs?

Kushina tightened her hold on the ANBU General, giving the masked kunoichi a smirk. "I have a few more barriers made up, what do you say to getting a little air?"

"I think that's a plan." Panther informed her dryly, checking her grip. "Whenever you two are ready, sannin-samas."

They hadn't exactly been quiet about it, the Uchiha proxy gave up finding more rock and carefully paced around the very edges of the lethal part of the seal, marked by withered and dying vine growth that hadn't been completely drained of any and all chakra. Tsunade huffed slightly, cracking her knuckles even as Jiraiya placed himself and his massively wild white hair between this new threat and the two kunoichi behind him.

The barrier dropped first as the Slug Princess let it go, Panther bolted over broken rock and the twisted vines after using Minato's hiraishin in a short jump to get past the point her seal would attempt to steal even her own chakra. Jiraiya had let the security seal drop when he mentioned probably being forced to, it finally fell moments after the ANBU General split for safer ground.

Naruto decided he didn't like that sensation, wailing a protest even as the two of them cleared the cavern entrance and darted into the dark forest's canopy.

Panther ignored it, even if it did tug her heart strings a bit. Kushina gave her son her full attention instead, soothing the newborn with touch and quiet reassurances that it would be alright.

Instead, the former assassin concentrated on getting off the ground and finding a closer but safe spot near Minato and Nagato. Those two started fighting before that Uchiha proxy started a fight against two sannin, it was more likely the Yondaime and the Ame-nin would be done before the Slug Princess and the Toad Sage.

No matter how creepy and plant like their opponent is or was.

Panther had spent years dodging shinobi that probably did or could outclass her in power and maybe speed. As a stealth expert who specialized in assassinations, her job was mostly killing unaware or debilitated targets and then running for her life. She wasn't surprised her randomized and erratic movements allowed her to narrowly dodge an opponent she didn't know was there.

Irritated, yes. Surprised, no.

Kushina offered a slip of sealing paper, Panther managed to snag it in the hand that supported the Whirlpool Princess' thighs so when they hit ground she could slap it down and erect a barrier. This one was much smaller, so the ANBU General remained crouched to ensure she had the charka store to support it for much longer than normal.

The redhead might have the stores to do it even longer than she could, but she had also just given birth. Panther had slept through her own labor, and she still was pretty much exhausted for days afterwards. A drain on the physical side of energy meant even the Uzumaki was a little low on her chakra stores.

"Well," Kushina opinioned when the next threat to her and her son was identified, "that's a few shades of creepy."

This white plant thing looked a cross between the half of the black and white plant man but with the Uchiha proxy's mask for a face without the color. Swirly examined them and the barrier preventing it from trying again to impale either kunoichi, then summoned a massive amount of vines to wrap around the barrier and probably drain Panther of all the chakra it could.

Instead of holding ground against that, because that would only be a good recipe to get chakra exhaustion if it had the same control the other plant things did, the ANBU General used the hiraishin again.

Baby Naruto didn't like that anymore than he had the first occasion he experienced it, and let the two of them know it loudly.

Now on the opposite side of the Forty-Fourth Training Grounds, Panther relocated where Minato was while Kushina fussed over her baby's discomfort.

A short pause in all estimations, then they were off again.

That three-pronged kunai had been stuck into the top of a tree, if that plant thing and it's copies could sense through the ground then they would be safe for a bit.

Even with that, they were cut short again.

This time by the Uchiha proxy. If he managed to switch out with Swirly or just escaped the sannin when his target left was debatable.

Panther had a bit of a tricky time evading both a grasping hand and a fist full of fire, but she managed it. Chakra control allowed her to plant one foot on the underside of a branch, then spin instead of continuing on the same trajectory they had been going in.

Naruto kind of liked the upside down effect, even if mom was clutching him rather hard to make up for gravity's pull.

The ANBU General ended up crouched on yet another massive branch to the sounds of a baby's giggling gurgle, warily eyeing the returned Uchiha. She staunchly avoided any remote possibility of eye contact this time, keeping her vision on his chest to get whatever estimation she could for what the next attack would take the form of.

"Give up the Uzumaki, and you might live."

"Again? Seriously? I have a name, what the hell is wrong with you people?" Kushina complained with a healthy dose of annoyance.

Panther suddenly jumped to another branch when the one they were on was sliced clean through using a suiton jutsu shaped into a massive glaive. She only had a moment to gather herself and the hime again, before having to dodge yet another massively draining jutsu. A doton, which rammed a massive rock rhino into the trunk of their second tree refuge and smashed through it no matter how thick.

Fire, water, _and_ earth? Whoever trained him had to be good, Panther could only use mostly water and a few lower classed earth jutsus. Most ninja only bothered learning one well and didn't branch out into other charka elemental natures.

The masked Uchiha predicted her next move, lighting that tree on fire instead of trying to hit the ANBU General with a jutsu.

Panther was forced to use her own chakra again, this time to collect the water from the air and douse a safe place to land before using the hiraishin for a third time.

Fuck that _and_ his cheating red eyes.

Naruto's protest was a bit weaker this time, either the hiraishin was damaging even to an Uzumaki baby or he was getting really tired. Panther wasn't the only one to notice, Kushina nearly cried as she tried to comfort him from the third blackout the baby experienced that night.

Without a medic to check for the problem, the ANBU General probably couldn't risk it again or she might end up killing her own godson.

_Motherfucker._

They did end up closer to daddy this time, though. Panther gave up stealth to try and shelter her two passengers under the Yondaime's eye as quickly as she could.

She was almost unsurprised they got cut short again, only a few clearings away.

It looked to be a copy of that first white plant man, deformed in a slightly different way but not as androgynous as the more plant-ish second one they encountered. He also brought the Uchiha back into this, somehow when that man had been left behind a few miles away only a bare few minutes ago.

Kushina offered yet another barrier seal, biting her lip uncertainly. She knew they were running out of options.

Panther took it, as it wasn't like there was a better one they could try but wait for either Minato or Nagato to come for them.

First, though, she knocked her mask askew enough to spit a surprise water bullet hard enough to knock plant man number two's head off.

Fuck him, and his other copies.

The fact her vision was mostly blocked by a mask didn't matter if they were buckling down to wait for reinforcements, she managed to slap the new barrier down and power it before the Uchiha proxy managed a strike in retaliation for killing his little plant pet. Kushina readjusted the ANBU General's mask for her, petting her son with her other hand to encourage him to sleep if he could.

Barriers could protect, but one function of them was allowing air to pass through easily.

The fire the Uchiha started around the barrier would prevent that, making Panther decide they would have to run yet again.

He was more than likely waiting for that, though.

Panther had a choice. Drop the barrier and continue to run, or drop the barrier and try to fight?

Either way, they were going to be exposed shortly.

"Do you have another barrier?"

"I had a whole lot of time and very little else to do. What do you think?"

The former assassin sighed heavily. "Can you support one?"

Kushina firmly wrapped her arms around her baby, setting her expression in a very stubborn look. "For as long as you need me to."

Panther eyed her, uncertain.

"I can cheat, nee-chan. Don't worry about me."

Well… what could she say to that?

Panther huffed slightly, casting a good look around. Other than the fire set around them, there was a grassy knot of roots and a few higher branches she could probably reach in as little as a few moments with shunshin.

This… was going to suck.

(ooo000ooo)

Minato only had a handful of moments to wonder why the plant man and his creepy twin disappeared on them.

Natsumi's hiraishin kunai going off told him all he needed to know.

Grabbing Nagato by the sleeve, he teleported them to where his sempai was.

Minato kept hold of the Ame-nin relation of his wife, though, when he saw what sight greeted them.

Fiona, looking exactly like the last time he had seen the dead woman, merely glanced at them from her position over his downed sempai. "We have a problem, gentlemen."

Panther, who was cradled in the soldier's arms and san a black cat mask, was worryingly still but sluggishly bleeding from a few minor and major injuries.

Minato's wife and child were nowhere to be seen, but a baby's soft cry informed them that they had at least prevented Naruto's kidnapping.

(ooo000ooo)

"You have to understand, Minato, she's never actually been terrified before." Fiona informed him tartly, keeping pace nearly as Natsumi did when the two of them were off to fight more in the war. "A Kurama's kekkai genkai is activated through that kind of constant, repeated fear building up to unmanageable levels. If she never felt it before why would she manifest me at all?"

The dead soldier had the former assassin's katana as well, making the Yondaime hope rather desperately that the alter ego of his sempai had her skills as well as habits. "Why didn't you show up any of the other times she's been afraid?"

"Why should I have? She was never really afraid of death, we've been through that before and she knew it was just a very long rest of a type. There was no deep fear of a kind that pulled me awake, just scares she got over really quickly. That was never enough to qualify as deep, constant fear of something or someone, so I never resulted."

Minato had to give the dead woman that, even if he was a little unnerved by her suddenly appearing. Natsumi hadn't ever really been afraid as far as he knew, at first too shocked numb and later to confused to really fear for her life when she had just started out as a kunoichi.

Fiona dodged yet another of the plant things that were trying to keep them from Kushina's new location, Minato turned it into mulch with another one of his Rasengan attempts even if Natsumi would yell at him for using it before he finished developing the jutsu. She used Sakumo's katana to lop the head off another that tried to attack his other side before he could recover.

He found this rather odd, fighting side by side with the woman who probably could be considered Natsumi's spiritual ancestor in a way. There was also that little fact she was dead that made it all the creepier, too.

"Are you _actually_ dead? Or are you just… a copy of her memory given free will?" He had to ask, this was strange in a way he hadn't ever really had to deal with before.

Meeting her once was different, then she had only been a copy of something long dead and not her own person.

Fiona shoved her short blonde hair out of her eyes, giving him an exasperated look Natsumi inherited in full from her. "Does it _matter?_ I would greatly prefer you think of me as a copy."

"But that's not true, is it?"

She stopped short, green eyes almost glaring at him. "If it is or not true it doesn't matter anymore. I'm me, as much as I can be without an actual physical body to inhabit and the whole ' _I was once dead_ ' thing still being true. There is something wrong with you if you think you are nothing more than a copy, and Natsumi always considered me a lot saner than she is. Through that, I could either believe I am Fiona because of being a copy of what she thought I was or because I really am."

Minato hesitated, but could only shrug an apology and keep running forward to where he could sense his wife.

Kushina was still in danger, even if Natsumi and Fiona managed to hide Naruto with her kinjutsu somehow and protect him from the supposed Uchiha that caught her in a Tsukuyomi genjutsu.

Nagato had agreed to take both his newborn cousin and Minato's sempai to Tsunade for aid, leaving the Yondaime and the strange dead soldier free to go after his other cousin. He had demanded to be brought to them if they got close enough and needed help, and received Natsumi's emergency kunai just to enable that if possible.

He could always revisit this conversation later, now really wasn't the time to figure out exactly how long Fiona might have been watching them through Natsumi's eyes.

(ooo000ooo)

Fiona, for her part, was pretty damn sure what she just encouraged Minato to think of her was a lie.

For one, although she had all of Natsumi's memories it really seemed to her that no time had passed since she noted in a painful haze that she had lost most of her digestive track from her stomach to parts of her intestines… and yeah, that was her spine she could see. Which made this, all of it, rather awkward for her.

From one war into another conflict, but that was a soldier's lot in life in a nutshell. She would have to think later, but hopefully a lot later, of what she had lost what seemed like moments ago.

This was a bit more urgent, letting her shelve that in order to fight without breaking down in a screaming fit of horror.

For another the soldier wasn't Natsumi, not anymore. The ANBU General had split her off from herself, a kind of hysteric attempt at something she only half understood to ensure she didn't fail and Minato would either lose his life or both his wife and son to this night. Or, horribly enough, all three options at once.

There were a lot of memories Fiona only vaguely in a way knew she had. Memories of people she hadn't ever met, of Sakumo and Jiraiya and all of Natsumi's clan friends and their kids. She didn't need the memories of Shikaku, or what the man could do to his wife. The memories of Shikamaru were appreciated, though. Maru-chan was a cute as a button, especially since that kid was kind of Fiona's grandchild in a way.

You couldn't have two of the same substance inhabit the same container without a lot of it bleeding together. Fiona might have shared some of her soul and memories with Natsumi, but that girl was the one to make something of herself even with that damaging her mentally and initially crippling her emotionally.

If the former assassin was her daughter, in a more spiritual kind of way of inheritor than a physical kind of creation, that made both Minato and Kushina also her kids. Natsumi had used her maturity and knowledge to help raise them, after they were genin shinobi and no longer academy students. She also thought of the blond Yondaime as a brother, making Fiona's mental understanding of this situation insist that was her son.

Fiona may not wish to be alive, but she was in a way now and had a job to do.

Natsumi wanted her brother and his family alive and whole, no matter what she had to pay to ensure that. She created or pulled Fiona back from the dead to ensure it for her even if the ANBU General herself couldn't.

A guardian Kurama alter ego of a dead woman, with motherly feelings for those in danger.

Another option, a better one than the Yondaime sacrificing himself to reseal the Kyuubi no Youko if Kurama got free from Kushina.

Then maybe, just possibly, Fiona could go back to sleep.

The Shinigami might just be rather keen on reclaiming her lost soul, too.

Minato really shouldn't have left that scroll on the Hokage's desk, knowing full well Natsumi spent time there when pregnant in order to do her ANBU paperwork and that his sister had the curiosity of a cat.

(ooo000ooo)

The Yondaime and a dead woman skidded into a clearing around the same time the Uchiha proxy decided on how to extract the Kyuubi, his almost palatable sense of confusion when he missed ripping the seal apart could have been called amusing if he wasn't trying to release the nine-tailed demon fox from his jailor.

His confusion cleared up when he got Fiona's standard issued boot to the head, as the kinjutsu was something he had already struggled with fighting off once before with the ANBU General and he had scuffled with this ghost woman already.

Minato ignored them and just freed his wife, teleporting them both from the rocky outcropping she had been bound to in order for the Uchiha to examine the seal she had.

Fiona smirked grimly at the young shinobi she had knocked off his feet and was pinning to the ground. "You know, fūinjutsu is an interesting art. Minato once had a seal to store living things, just with a small side effect of turning what was sealed inside out. Want to see how it worked?"

The Uchiha glared, knowing full well she wasn't alive enough to be killed. It was why he had to abandon both killing Naruto and Natsumi off, Fiona had almost prevented him from grabbing Kushina too.

"Hold still… this may hurt."

(ooo000ooo)

Kushina grabbed her stomach, feeling the stressed and now possibly malfunctioning seal start to unravel. "Minato… who was that? She looked like…"

"Fiona, I know." The Yondaime lowered his wife to the ground, letting Tsunade at the pale woman. "It was, in a way."

"Who?"

"Natsumi was reincarnated, hime." Jiraiya calmly informed his fellow sannin, frowning a bit as he looked at Minato questioningly. "Fiona was her name before she died that first time. Neko-chan showed us an illusion of her once, but I would like to know what a dead woman's image is doing wandering around right now."

Nagato blinked at him a few times, trying to process that. "Wait… wasn't she dead? _Is_ dead?"

"That's a very good question, actually." The Yondaime informed him dryly, looking to where his sempai was still laying. Panther was still out cold, but no longer bleeding. "Fiona suggested she was just an alter ego formed from the Kurama bloodline ability, not really the dead woman herself."

"Was I the last to know of this?" Tsunade interrupted irritably, both hands planted on Kushina's back as the medic stabilized her the best she could.

"I never got around to telling sensei either." The Toad Sage told her sheepishly, rocking baby Naruto a bit to keep him from fussing. "It just was something that didn't really ever come up."

"You really think the old man doesn't know?"

"Erm… possibly?"

The Slug Princess rolled her eyes, but a frown formed on her face as she examined the tense lines of Kushina's back. "The seal is unraveling."

Minato sucked in a breath, catching his wife's apologetic stare.

"How, _exactly_ , does one seal a jinchūriki?" Nagato rather violently flinched from the dead woman, who merely stared at him for a moment. "Problem?"

"Err… no. My apologies, Fiona-san."

The soldier frowned at him, but turned her attention back to this issue rather than figure out if he had a fear of ghosts. "Minato?"

"You have to overpower it's will." Kushina answered for the Yondaime quietly. "Mito-baa-sama was the only one I knew of who did it. She was the one to transfer the bijuu to me. It was what finished her off, too. She wasn't strong enough to survive that again."

Fiona stuck Sakumo's katana next to the still form of her originator, then strolled back to them. "So either we out-stubborn a demon fox, or let him loose?"

"I can make a seal for it, but I'm not sure if I can do that." Minato informed them all, just as quietly as his wife.

"His royal furriness isn't going anywhere for now. I'm pretty sure your little backup plan is still an option." Fiona merely glared when the Yondaime looked at her out of sheer surprise. "Your nee-chan has the curiosity of a cat, did you really think she wouldn't know what you were planning if worse came to worse?"

Minato gaped at her.

"Even better, we seem to have a loose soul hanging around just waiting to be used."

Jiraiya suspiciously looked between the two of them. "What, _exactly_ , are we talking about?"

"Putting me back to rest. This time for good." Fiona informed him archly. "I'm dead, I would like to go back to being dead if you all don't mind."

"What if we _do_ mind?" Tsunade interrupted, still irritable at this new twist and eyeing this supposed first incarnation of her little shadow girl. "Death seeking isn't healthy, if no one told you that."

"You're a few _centuries_ way too late with that."

"Enough." Minato shut his mouth, looking between his wife, his sempai, and the ghost of a dead woman. "Fiona, what exactly are you?"

The soldier pressed her lips into a thin line. "That's not important."

He didn't look like that would satisfy him. "Humor me. You claim both that you are nothing but a chakra construct from a kekkai genkai and that you have a soul. One of those two cannot be right."

"Both are, actually. Natsumi supplied the construct, but the soul is me. Her kinjutsu? It's based off my spiritual chakra inside her own. When she formed me, I got that spirit excess in full. She's currently missing it."

"How do you know that?" Jiraiya demanded of the dead woman next.

"It's what _she believed_ at the moment of my creation. For a Kurama? Belief is the only limit to them." Fiona shrugged lightly, crossing her arms over her chest and standing with most of her weight on one leg. How that was possible when she wasn't really real enough to have weight was kind of an iffy thing to think about. "Natsumi might rather like to forget that, but she had been playing with the possibility that I might not have been her in the first place for a few years. When she became terrified she would fail to keep her otouto's wife and son alive, enough to wake her Kurama blood, her kekkai genkai latched on to her worst fear to make it true and protect her. Her greatest fear was that I somehow wasn't her, and she had either hijacked the body from me or suppressed me away somehow. Neither of which seem to be true, as I don't have a memory of anything other than what she gave me for the past few decades."

"So you are both a dead woman and merely a copy at the same time?" Nagato tried to clarify, both sounding and looking confused.

"For the sake of brevity, let's assume that's correct and move on. I'd rather not look too closely at my own existence, thanks."

"Will this hurt her?"

"Minato, she just got genjutsued into a coma. She won't feel a damn thing, she will probably forget she tried to create me at all… much less that she succeeded or that I was the one to beat the ever loving shit out of the Uchiha that did it to her while we were still in her mind." Fiona glanced at her spiritual successor distractedly. "There'll be side effects, don't get me wrong. She'll probably lose the kinjutsu at the very least. Natsumi's a great believer that everything has a price, she was willing to pay anything so you wouldn't lose your wife or son… even if that price was half of herself. Some memories might possibly go too, but hopefully any of those would be mine and not hers."

"This isn't _fair_." Kushina blinked up at the dead woman, trying not to cry. "I wanted to _meet_ you, not cause your _death_."

"I'm already dead, hime. You can't get much more dead than dead." Fiona crouched down, a wry smirk on her lips. "I have all of Natsumi's memories, remember what you two talked about on the Hokage's Monument all those years ago? What you would give up so your children wouldn't see a war until their own twenties? I'm what Natsumi's giving up and it's not a great loss. I would like to go back to sleep, but it is awesome I got to meet you first."

The Uzumaki kunoichi sniffed a few times, then gave up and threw her arms around the soldier and sobbed into her neck. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Just take care of them for me. Minato's and idiot sometimes, and Natsumi can be a little reckless twit."

"Hey."

"Did you or did you not think up of a suicidal method to reseal the nine-tailed demon fox if it got loose?" Fiona gave him an unimpressed look over Kushina's shoulder. "Shut up."

Minato did so with a light flush going up his face, then quailed a little under Jiraiya's own unimpressed look.

"Suicidal?" Tsunade questioned archly, mimicking her teammate's look as well.

"Your options are a dead Yondaime or a dead… well, dead woman. Pick one."

The Slug Princess blinked a few times. "The dead woman wins."

"Damn straight I do."

\V/

Natsumi first realized her head hurt. Like a lot.

Aching, stabbing pain. Almost like someone rubbed the back inside of her skull with sandpaper and left a few sheets of the gritty paper behind to annoy her with. There was also a throbbing pain behind her right eye, like someone tried ripping it out and shoving the damn thing back in.

Cracking an eye open didn't help, even if it was her left, and she shut it real fast when she saw where she was.

Hospital, again. _Perfect_.

Shikaku was going to pitch a growly fit at her…

Why was she in the hospital? And for that matter, where was her husband and son? Or even Minato-

Natsumi sat bolt upright at that reminder. _Naruto_.

The alarms that screamed at her movement made her cringe, even as vertigo set in and she nearly face planted into her own lap.

She kept herself in a half scrunched up position, clutching her head in protest and tried to piece her memory back together. What the hell had happened?

There had been the birth of her godson, then the plant men, then the Uchiha guy, then… what? She had tried running with the hime and her baby, escaped from a swirly plant man and then the Uchiha, then the Uchiha and another plant man caught up with her. Then all she really recalled was a whole lot of red.

That Uchiha sucker punched her in the gut, then pried her right eye open to snare her in a swirly red eye genjutsu. The _Tsukuyomi_.

Shouldn't she be… brain dead? Or something?

Tsunade though. That medic could practically heal the dead, getting scrambled as she did probably was simply an unavoidable side effect.

Speaking of medics, one turned off the alarms currently beating what gray matter she had into unrecognizable mush. Natsumi tilted her head to get a glimpse of whoever that was so she could send her a gift once she knew what the hell was going on.

Tsunade gave her an unimpressed look, probably for the sitting up thing.

"Ow."

"I bet." The Slug Princess didn't look remotely apologetic for what pain the Leopard Summoner was going through. "Lay back down."

Natsumi gave her a helpless look, which probably was insanely easy with how crappy she felt. "Ow?"

She heaved a sigh in return, pressing a hand up against the former assassin's chest and helping her lay back on the bed slowly enough not to set off any nausea or vertigo. "Don't move again. You gave us all a scare, little shadow."

"What?" Her mouth tasted like she French kissed a garbage can, which probably meant she had been out for a few days. "What's going on?"

"You've been out for two days, in a coma we only just pulled you out of."

"Minato?"

"He's fine, so is his wife and their little gaki. If you behave, I might let them in to visit." Tsunade eyed her sternly, slightly scowling. "There's a few effects from that night, you need to be patient so we can figure out what."

…well, if Minato, Kushina, and Naruto were all fine, Natsumi would like a nap.

She didn't quite recall what the hell had gone on, but she could figure it out later. Maybe she bought Minato just enough time to get out there and fetch them?

(ooo000ooo)

"To make this situation all the more confusing, her right eye is no longer green." Tsunade informed them all archly as she walked back into the room Kushina was pretty much camped in for the next few days. It was one of the high profile recovery rooms, Jiraiya sealed it for privacy a long time ago. It could cut all sound from escaping it, if the medic remembered to activate those seals in time. "It's now as yellow as her gaki's."

That directed shinobi attention to said brat, who grouchily gave them all a mulish expression. He wasn't happy mom wasn't awake, and hadn't been for the last few days.

"Was that Fiona, then?" Kushina asked of her husband while cradling her own son, a slight frown on her face. "Or was what she told us correct?"

Shikaku rubbed his face with his free hand, still trying to wrap his head around the whole issue.

The Yondaime could only shrug, still confused himself. "I'm tempted to say it was really her, if only because the Dead Demon Consuming Seal actually worked as intended."

"Sensei informed us chakra constructs like shadow clones could use it as well." Jiraiya reminded them all just as dryly, flicking his student upside the head for that reminder. "And not kill off the original at the same time."

Minato, who had to put up with that frequent reminders of their displeasure over his worst case plans, glared a bit in return. "But against a _bijuu?_ Even if it was only half of one?"

"If my wife was that much of a Kurama, she'd pass the kekkai genkai on. If she isn't and Fiona managed to handle this for us, Maru-chan will never show the ability." Shikaku interjected, rubbing at a headache. "Either way, it's not something we have enough information to make assumptions about. Let's just say for now that yes, she had actually been a dead woman that interfered and saved your lives. Tsunade-sama, is Natsu awake?"

"She looked to be falling asleep again before I left her. She should start waking up a bit more regularly now, give it a few hours before she's awake enough again to talk to her." Tsunade informed him, glancing down the hall the open door showed them. "I'm banning her from chakra use for a bit, her network is a bit unstable and until that settles she shouldn't be using any. She'll probably have the mother of all migraines as well, from getting her brain scrambled against that Uchiha bastard."

"Does she recall what happen?"

"I'm tempted to say no, she didn't seem to care for getting more information after I told her you and your little family was alright."

Minato frowned, glancing to Kushina who looked terribly guilty about that. "She didn't ask about Fiona, then?"

"Not yet. Fiona might just be right in saying she probably will never recall that. Or it might just be because she doesn't know I now know about her reincarnation thing."

"I'll sit with her next, if she doesn't ask me she probably won't." Shikaku got up, shifting his unhappy son to one arm. "How are we going to explain the eye thing?"

"Same way we're going to explain her sudden lack of spiritual chakra." Tsunade informed him tartly, rapping her knuckles on Natsumi's fully complete ANBU medical file. "Near death experience and damage to her chakra system from trying to fight superior classed opponents. Little shadow's got to stop doing that. For the eye, stain from chakra overuse. It's not exactly a common problem outside a dōjutsu using clan, but it will work. Especially if she starts going blind in her right eye in a few years."

The Slug Princess rolled her own eyes at the looks.

"Yes, I can keep it from happening. But she's got to inform me it's happening for me to do that."

\V/

"We really got to stop meeting like this."

Shikaku merely arched an eyebrow at her, a rather displeased frown affixed to his mouth. "Natsu, care to explain what the hell you were thinking?"

Natsumi opened her mouth, blinked, and shut it again. Then she tried propping herself up on her hospital pillows a bit. When that failed, the former assassin gave up trying to buy time to stall with. "I… can't recall. It's still a little fuzzy. Do you know what happened?"

"Tsunade-sama wants you to recover the greater parts of your memories yourself. I'm not allowed to tell you until you recall the last thing you can." He placed their son on her stomach, still not looking entirely happy with this situation. "Someone missed you while you were out of it."

Shikamaru rather irritably eyed her from his still uncoordinated spot of wiggling, grabbing hold of his mother's hospital yukata with all his baby strength.

"Is there a reason why little Maru-chan's looking at me like I may be an imposter?"

Instead of answering her husband gave her a small mirror from her bedside table. "See for yourself."

Natsumi frowned up at him, but took a look anyways. "What… the _hell?_ "

Yellow? She didn't have a yellow eye. Well, apparently she did now. It even made it seem less like her right eye was bigger than her right, as the former green had done.

"Well… that's creepy. How did that happen?"

"What do you remember?"

"A whole lot of red." She had shifting eye coloring. Either it was something about her or something about that Uchiha proxy guy, he had scrambled her egg pretty badly. "Okay… this makes no sense. I got knocked out, I know that. That guy who was either a bastard Uchiha or stole the eyes of one pried… well, my right eye open and…"

After that Natsumi didn't really recall what happened. Given she was probably in a genjutsu induced coma at that point, that was pretty self-explanatory. The fact she was alive was a great plus, don't get her wrong… but she hadn't expected it. Kushina and Naruto had been in a fair bit of danger with her taken out, and unless Minato showed up that same moment then she probably shouldn't be alive right now. There had been nothing keeping that Uchiha proxy from killing her.

Something wasn't adding up, and the headache on top of the migraine that was still there since the last time she woke up wasn't a whole lot of fun.

"Shika, I would dearly appreciate knowing what the hell happened after I got knocked out. Please. The last thing I recall is the sharingan that did this to me."

"According to Minato, you managed to somehow hide your godson from view and grab your emergency kunai. When he and Nagato-san reached you, you two were the only ones there. Nagato-san took you and Naru-chan back to Tsunade while Minato ran for Kushina. He got to her in time, but her seal started unraveling from what that bastard tried to do to her. Instead of try to repair an already stressed and breaking jinchūriki seal, they resealed the Kyuubi no Youko into Naru-chan."

Natsumi vaguely wondered if she was happy or horrified to hear that. On one hand, the hime hated being the jinchūriki. On the other, that was her godson who got stuck with the short end of the stick.

Erm… didn't Minato plan to summon the Shinigami in order to do that resealing? Or had that only been a last ditch option if his royal furriness got loose of his wife?

Heaving a sigh, the former assassin looked over her baby boy then peered up at her husband. "But my kouhai and the hime are alright, right? Little Naru-chan?"

"They're fine, mostly. Kushina's got a room a bit farther down the hall, the extraction process wasn't kind to her. Minato's pretty much wiped out after doing that, but he's already back to work so Hiruzen-sama can finally retire." Shikaku seemed to think about that, ticking off anyone else that might have said something to him so far. "The Bear-samas would like you to stop trying to kill yourself so they could retire already too. Nagato-san's been waiting for you to wake up so he can say goodbye and leave for Ame, to let them know what happened for the last month."

ANBU? …wait. There had been about ten teams of five ANBU agents patrolling the Forest of Death. What the hell happened to them?

"Hubby mine, who's all dead from that? We at least got some of who attacked us, right?"

"We have a whole lot of plants that seem to be somewhat human, if that's what you mean. There's about a hundred of them giving R&D fits trying to figure out what they are." He rubbed the scarred side of his face, frowning out the hospital window. "There's the remains of a dead Uchiha we can't identify, he looked like he got on the wrong end of some very irate individual. He got turned inside out."

Natsumi blinked at him, recalling the last thing she ever saw turned inside out. A squirrel that had rather violently protested being caught to be experimented on by one technically insane preteen fūinjutsu user.

Minato's storage seal attempt for living creatures?

Whoever did it had to either be her or Minato, no one else knew how that seal went and that Uchiha had been the one to knock her out so it hadn't been her.

The _Yondaime_ turned someone inside out? Well… it was his wife that was threatened.

"You lost a few ANBU as well. I don't know the official count, they took their own dead away when the Uchiha MPs went in to clean up after you all."

Panther would hear sometime soon. Bedridden or not, Stag would inevitably show up to loom around and look intimidating while the even former assassin wasn't able to defend herself. She was a little surprised she couldn't feel him somewhere outside of her recovery room yet, normally the bodyguard got a little fussy when either she or Mouse got injured…

"Shika?"

"Yeah?"

"I can't feel you." Natsumi eyed him, and then her own baby. Even concentrating, she still couldn't pick the feel of their chakra out of the numb sensation of pain medication. "Is there something suppressing me?"

He lifted her left hand, which had a few suppressor seals attached to the wrist of. "You did a bit of damage to yourself, Natsu. Guess what you get to do all over again."

Chakra control exercises, _again?_ This would be the third time… or fourth if you counted that initial academy practice that didn't really work well for her.

Minato owed her his second born child too.

She wanted to swear, but there was a baby rather intently eyeing her on her stomach. If she didn't know better, she'd swear she spent more than half her career recovering from one injury or another.

Shikamaru suddenly started patting at her ribcage, with a closed fist maybe but it still looked like he was looking for something.

"Maru-chan and I have decided we don't like it when you're not home, wife of mine." Shikaku informed her archly, still not looking remotely happy with what had landed her in the hospital again. "Baa-chan would appreciate it if you would stay home as well… least until Maru-chan starts on solid foods."

"Which one?"

"Both of them. Eri-sama and Midori-chan will probably be in to visit you in a few hours. Kaa-chan's a few floors down vising jii-sama, he's almost due to be released and might actually get out before you."

"This coming from my hubby dearest who is getting deployed on us?" Natsumi wasn't really all that coordinated either at the moment, but she managed to lay her right hand on her son's back and rub lightly. "What is he doing?"

"Looking for something. Whatever it is, it's not something I can do." He shrugged, a little more disgruntled at that reminder. "He's not hungry either, so I really don't know what he wants."

It would be so much easier if Shikamaru could talk, but that was still a year and a half or so away still.

Her fingertips picked it up, though. The hospital was a bit nosier than the Uchiha training grounds which was why she couldn't hear it. "Oh."

"What?"

"Heh… uh… did anyone inform you Maru-chan could purr?" She gave him a sheepish smile. "I've been purring back to him for about a week, that's what he wants."

The Nara clan head blinked at her blankly, then at their son. Who seemed to be getting upset that this strange looking mom wasn't purring already.

"For the kami's _sake_. I'm going to strangle your cats, Natsu."

"No you're not, Shika. My Leopards are awesome."

Shikamaru only stopped his crying when mom finally started purring for him, sniffing and rubbing his face clean on her yukata so it wouldn't bother him and force dad to pick him up to clean him off.

\V/

Natsumi got released from the hospital a week of observation later.

She spent a few days being very good about her physical therapy and redoing her chakra exercises, then managed to get Eri to watch her son for an hour or so on the excuse that she needed to try water walking again and didn't want to risk Shikamaru rolling into the Naka River.

Which was part of what she planned on doing, but first things first.

The ANBU General rather sourly eyed the Memorial Stone. "So… not _quite_ dead, were you?"

She remembered. She and Fiona had two days of being locked in her head due to the Tsukuyomi she got put under. Fiona might have spent most of that beating the ever living shit out of the Uchiha that tried to torture her, but there were a few moments when that Madara stand in couldn't fight back and the soldier was enough of a goody two-shoes not to want to beat on an already downed opponent.

 _Fiona_ was the one to turn him inside out later on. He had seen some of her past life while stuck in her head, and neither Natsumi nor Fiona wanted that to get back to the mad as fuck Uchiha founder.

The soldier had not been happy to be manifested, to say the least.

If Natsumi hadn't really wanted to be alive all those years ago, that just meant Fiona never wanted to see life ever again.

Convincing the soldier to finish Natsumi's work in keeping Minato and Kushina alive had been a rather vicious augment between them that lasted for most of that time.

That first plan for Natsumi's life, to disappear into ANBU and not directly affect the lives of those around her, had been mostly Fiona's influence. The soldier didn't think she had the right to screw up their lives, not if it only just barely worked that first time no matter the price it extracted.

Jiraiya and Inoichi managed to use her attachment to Minato, who did sort of look as she used to in child form and therefore someone that tugged on her maternal side, to derail that. Shikaku deciding he would rather have her as a wife than some kunoichi he didn't know just reinforced that more.

Sakumo surviving his supposed suicide mission had just been a wrench thrown into that assumption based off the soldier's morals, that she would make it worse somehow so distance was best.

After that she was more Natsumi than the remnant of a dead US Army Sargent, and Natsumi was a stubborn, vicious bitch who was rather selfish over her precious people.

Fiona was literally the product of a different lifetime. The soldier would have been a better samurai than a kunoichi with her morals and views.

Natsumi might have started out as Fiona, but she wasn't the soldier anymore. She was an assassin who retired from her life, a killer who used and abused her other life to ensure her friends were safe and sound and never had to do something similar if they didn't want to.

The dead woman hadn't wanted to be part of the former assassin or her life, so Natsumi gave her the suicidal option of standing in as Minato's sacrifice instead of allowing him to do it.

Fiona hadn't been amused, she knew perfectly well what the ANBU General was angling for with that. In the end, though, the soldier agreed just so she could go back to being dead.

Natsumi wasn't entirely sure what that meant, if it was a sign she was her own person or a very skewed version of a copy.

She didn't really care either.

Natsumi was the one still standing, Fiona had either erased herself or died again.

"I hope you found whatever the hell it was you were looking for. Thanks, for all of it."

Fiona had done her one hell of a favor before that, though.

Minato was a little drawn and tired, but he had been pleased to see her up and around when she went to visit him in his office.

His coronation as Hokage and Hiruzen's retirement party thing was scheduled for the new year. They had put off the Sandaime's retirement until after the birth of the Yondaime's son, especially with the little trouble Natsumi identified and brought up. Koharu was rather impatiently waiting for Hiruzen to join her as part of the Village's Elders, she had a lot of work to do and the former Hokage had something waiting for him to do so he wouldn't get bored in his retirement.

Her otouto's wife might still be in the hospital, having half of the bijuu that lurked in your gut ripped away before the rest was taken out did leave behind some massive chakra damage even with the Slug Princess healing as much of it as she could. Kushina was okay, though. She would live, and her Uzumaki vitality might just heal up the rest of what the medics couldn't on it's own. She might even be able to go back to being a kunoichi, if she kept healing the way she had been this last week.

Naruto was the jinchūriki for Kurama, and if that baby couldn't reform the Kyuubi no Youko it wasn't possible. He looked pretty unconcerned at the tenant in his gut and just happy to get even more attention when his godmother visited, Minato's work to seal it away was pretty damn effective especially with Fiona being the one to rip the bijuu's Yin energy away and not him.

Shikaku might have tried to extract a promise never to leave the damn village again from her or leave ANBU to fight her battles instead, but the Ame thing alone would prevent that. He instead got a rather alarming promise from both Jiraiya and Nagato, before the redhead left, to ensure she never got sent to the hospital again even that far from their village. Natsumi wasn't entirely sure if she was annoyed with that or amused, since Stag somehow learned of that promise as well and decided he'd help that too.

Her baby was three months old now, and still preferred mom to purr for him than doing it himself. Not even Akira could make up for Natsumi's missing presence, and the Leopard purred better than their Summoner could. Shikamaru was also pretty damn hard to startle, making Natsumi suspicious he did somehow get her comprehension speed and was using that to keep himself informed of what was going on even with his eyes closed. If he had his father's intelligence was still questionable, but he did learn pretty fast how to get what he wanted from those around him almost like how Kakashi was at his age.

Natsumi herself found that chakra control was easier without that supply of extra spiritual energy. She might even be able to learn some genjutsu and iryou-nin jutsus if her control ended up better from this, but it wasn't likely she'd get more than the basics down. Healing up scratches might be the best she could do, but that was more than she could do now.

The blindness in one eye thing would suck, but Tsunade promised to help if it ever did occur. Losing her kinjutsu was a given, but Mikoto knew how it went and might even find a better way to do it instead.

There was still the last of the Third War to fight, and a mad as fuck former Konohagakure founder to find. They might have managed to kill a number of the white plant men, but the black half escaped them. In order for her to go back to hunting down Uzumaki survivors that black plant thing had to die, because that was several shades of creepy and possibly not all that sane if plant men had sanity.

Natsumi wasn't quite done just yet.

"You have fun being dead. I've got a family to take care of."


	25. Epilogue

_As long as you don't make waves, ripples, life seems easy. But that's condemning yourself to impotence and death before you are dead._

_\- Jeanne Moreau_

* * *

Minato let himself into the Nara clan head's home, looking for his sister in all but blood and bolting up the stairs to find her.

She gave him a mildly curious look when he ducked into her little office, where she normally kept the ANBU paperwork she had on hand. "Minato? What's up?"

"I… err… may need you to get over that dislike for Kirigakure no Sato shinobi in a fast hurry, sempai."

Natsumi stared at him for a long moment, then let her newly yellow right eye close and pressed the heel of her hand into it as she turned to fully face him. "Why?"

Minato flashed his godson a grin when the four month baby rolled over to make room for him on the bed he was situated on. The fact Shikamaru did it just to steal the Yondaime's warmth when he sat down was ignored. He merely helped his sister's son as the baby Nara squirmed into his lap now that he knew the blond was staying around a bit. "Kiri is going to be joining this alliance thing we've got going."

"That has nothing to do with me, still don't see what I need to conform my behavior for." She pointed out dryly, turning back to sort out more of her work into piles to be dealt with. "With luck I'll never need to actually deal with one while out of ANBU armor."

"Then…. because I asked you to?"

The former assassin turned ANBU General gave up on her work and fully faced him again. "You've never really cared before, what I thought of the other Hidden Villages. Why now?"

"…Hoshigaki gave them your name."

"Oh _kami_. Why Blue? I thought you _liked_ me…"

Minato gave her a sheepish look and a crooked grin. "Well, he knew perfectly well you were giving advice to Konan-san. They did rebuild Amegakure no Sato into a mostly self-sufficient ninja village in under two years. Mist _was_ once his home, no matter his feelings on it's soon to be former leadership. Shikaku didn't exactly sound pleased in the report, but he knew perfectly well it was a possibility when Yahiko-san allowed Hoshigaki-san the time to help Terumī-san overthrow the Mizukage."

Natsumi had also sneakily sent Konan some pictures of Nagato awkwardly trying to handle babies, both her Shikamaru and his own cousin's Naruto. There was something just adorable about a kage level badass trying to handle squirmy babies without hurting them, and the male Uzumaki survivor would probably greatly appreciate not having to deal with the babies again until they could mostly support themselves.

That level of blackmail was not something she would let her fellow kunoichi student of the Toad Sage miss out on for anything as petty as distance.

Her sneaky picture sending would have let Kisame know perfectly well what Natsumi did for the Ame Orphans, if he didn't have a keen grasp on it before that in the first place.

"So they might ask for a Konoha troubleshooter to help them, and even worse by name, when they realize they've got more work before them than our Ame fellows had to deal with." Natsumi rolled her pale, mismatched eyes at the mere thought. "Still don't see why I have to let go of my dislike. Just say no and shove a different troubleshooter on them. I'm not the only one in the village."

"Village policy is to assign named shinobi to missions that requested them."

"I'm the freaking ANBU General, I don't run missions anymore. I'm _retired from active service_ , kouhai. I do paperwork and raise my baby, that's _it_. I probably won't even go back to active service when Maru-chan starts his own."

Minato thought about that point. "True… but if we want them to accommodate the whole alliance thing we need to supply a good reason for it. Invading them because we're looking for a rogue Uchiha isn't really a great position to negotiate from. You're a bargaining chip, sempai."

"I feel so loved." She ignored his slight wince at that, watching Shikamaru settle down for another nap in his godfather's lap. "While I will admit I might actually be forced to go to the Land of Water when the war is over, I still don't see why it is I need to get over my dislike for Kiri-nin."

"Can you instead deal with them as both you and they are?"

"Do you know _why_ I hate Kirigakure, kouhai? It only has little to do with the scars carved into Shika's face, though I will admit that was how it started."

The Yondaime blinked at her a few times, bemused. "Really?"

"There's what, four… _maybe_ five defectors from the Mist right?" Natsumi shrugged when he nodded hesitantly. "That we know of. Either way there's less than ten people, shinobi or not, that actually took a look around themselves and said _this is screwed up_. Their kage was _butchering_ them, both their citizens and themselves, and they did nothing about it for over a decade. No, instead they followed blindly along and never questioned a damn thing when it was not only a bad idea but got proven without a _damn_ doubt that it was a bad idea any they would pay dearly for it."

Minato opened his mouth, probably to try protesting that point, but in the end shut it without saying a word.

"We are shinobi, yes. We're murderers and killers, but we are also supposed to be _sly and cunning._ That would take a measure of intelligence, and even if most of those were killed way back when this started that should have told _someone_ that something was screwed up. Why did we hear nothing about this ten years ago? When Yagura took the Mizukage's hat as their Yondaime and things started going south? You've heard Kisame's and Zabuza's little horror story of their academy graduation test, right?"

"This Uchiha that might be controlling the Mizukage doesn't buy them any leniency from you?"

"Nope. That's one, maybe two, Uchiha that screwed over an _entire_ shinobi village? They might be half our size at their highest point, but that's still a thousand ninja to dupe. Possibly two people that not only got to their kage, but through their village's defenses and security on a regular basis? From their own version of ANBU to the lowest genin, they _all_ missed this or ignored the fact it was happening."

"…but…"

"Yes, I rather like Kisame. Big and Blue was actually one of those few that put his foot down and did what he could, even if it was only leaving the village. Zabuza sounds like a snarly asshole, but he's okay too. He tried to kill Yagura, and might have only failed due to either the Uchiha thing or his own kage's level of skill. This Terumī-san seems to be somewhat respectable, so I'll reserve judgment on her until I formerly meet her. But Mei-san is what? Sixteen? A _sixteen-year-old_ kunoichi, no matter the dual kekkai genkai or kage level skills, had to be the one to correct this crap? She's forgiven for the late thing, she was all of six when this started. The rest of them?"

He could only sigh at her. "Alright… can I trust you to _not_ cause an international incident then?"

"I'll even promise to be nice. I'll take someone along when I go out to Amegakure for sensei, and teach them some what I know in troubleshooting. Then that someone can come with me to Kirigakure when they finally start putting their rebuilt village back into action. He or she can do most of the talking."

"I suppose that would be best, if you are unwilling to compromise your views." Minato frowned slightly, looking down at his sleepy godson. "Though, if you put it like that…"

"Don't let me poison your view of them, kouhai. Some of them might actually be half-way decent, and someone in your position should judge them base on what they are like _and_ their personal history. I just don't like them because they have or had the mentality of sheep… even worse sheep with _power_." Natsumi wrinkled her nose at her own thought. "My dislike stems from my knowledge of another lifetime's history, and that kind of crap makes this alliance thing were trying to build to fulfill sensei's prophesy take even longer. He's not a young man anymore, and I dearly hope you and his other students can get this done before his time comes."

He gave her a slightly bewildered look. "Sensei's not old, sempai."

"He _is_ over forty. Ten or twenty years, ten to get everyone else and twenty just to ensure there's no major issues and everything works out? He'd be sixty by then."

"…fuck."

They both blinked at each other, then Minato cringed a little at her pointedly disappointed look for swearing in front of her baby.

"I'm telling Shika."

"Like you've never done it, sempai."

" _I_ haven't yet. It's been you and the hime so far, swearing in front of my little Maru-chan." Sniffing at him, she plucked her baby out of his lap and let him settle back in her arms. "You're a bad influence, kouhai."

Shikamaru didn't particularly like mom's ANBU General armor plates, the only time he would ignore it was when she purred for him or when he absolutely had to deal with it to get fed. He didn't look too pleased to get removed from his godfather's comfy lap into mom's armored forearms for no apparent reason he considered good.

Panther might be able to work out of her own home for now, but she did have to pop into ANBU headquarters occasionally. The older ANBU agents had decided to twist her there but not policy for running their black ops division and tell the rookies that _Panther-sama was a ghost_ , because no one would tell them that Panther-sama was actually a new mother if they didn't figure it out themselves. Given the random occasions she went in for either distributing the work she finished or picking up more, when Shikamaru napped under one of her Leopard Summon's eye, that theory was currently gaining popularity for the new crop of ANBU agents coming into their shadows.

Everyone else in ANBU might get a kick out of that rumor, but that was how the screwy traditions and views in their shadow guard inevitably got started. Like the one about the ancient Tiger-sama that ran their teahouse being the Bear-samas' mother that was popular way back when Panther had been a rookie. She _still_ wondered if that was true or not.

The twin Bears might be old-timers, but that former Tiger was _ancient_ for a kunoichi.

Natsumi wasn't at all surprised that Shikamaru gave her the stink-eye for moving him, armor wasn't at all comfortable in any lifetime. "Don't pout at me, break time. Let's go play with something else other than kaa-chan's paperwork."

She was pretty sure he didn't understand her, but he had got the point of 'getting picked up and moved when mom got up' meant they were leaving her office room. Instead of fussing for the armor thing he gave a grumpy, mismatched look to Minato.

Konohagakure no Sato's Yellow Flash, the Yondaime Hokage and all around terror of Iwagakure, smirked at that demanding look aimed at him. "I'll hold him while you change, sempai."

His ANBU General, retired ANBU assassin specialist and the woman that all but raised him, gave him a look of his own. "Yeah? Only if you stop swearing in front of my baby, kouhai."

Shikamaru didn't seem to rightly care as long as he got attention and not mom's massive pile of paperwork.

\V/

"I am back on active duty." Mikoto announced brightly as she set Sasuke down next to Kiba.

Baby Uchiha instantly squirmed away from the Inuzuka baby, scooting himself over more to where the Nara heir was trying to nap. Shikamaru gave both him and Ino, who was patting at him with all her baby strength to see what that would do, a rather disgruntled look for the latest interruptions to his drowsy napping. Naruto merely yawned after peering at the new person, going back to his own nap after snuggling down into his swaddling blankets a bit farther.

Her baby seemed to refuse to purr for Ino after she drooled all over him the last time he did it. It would be a tossup if he did it near Naruto or not, it seemed as if every time he did so for another baby _something_ happened that made him rather prefer mom to do it for them all if they had company. The only one he would do it for was little Chouji, and only because the Akimichi heir drooled on the floor instead of him.

"Yeah? Congrats." Natsumi paused in her push-ups, balancing on one hand to distract Ino with a brightly colored bird plushy Mayuko had left to amuse her daughter.

The Yamanaka heiress gleefully abandoned the former assassin's son in favor of the stuffed mockery of a bird, shoving a bit of beak into her toothless mouth to gum. Shikamaru managed to snag one of the floppy pillows that caged the babies from escaping their little section of the Inuzuka clan alpha's living room, pulling it to stall Sasuke's forward movement in order to protect him and Naruto from getting crowded from their spots. Mikoto's second son didn't seem to care at all, he just wanted to get away from Kiba.

Natsumi could sympathize, Tsume's second child would chew on anything and he wasn't even teething yet.

"I've got a question… or more like two." The genjutsu mistress informed her after another moment of watching the baby drama that the former assassin was in charge of while the others recovered their physical skills and muscle tone outside in the cold winter air.

"Shoot."

"How do I pick up my genin team?"

"Go to the academy and inform Hiruki-sensei you're fit for duty again, he'll arrange it for you once you give him a time and place for them to meet up with you." Natsumi went back to her push-ups when it seemed all five babies were content with their new arrangement.

Kiba was a little occupied with his own feet, meaning Sasuke managed to scoot away free and clear in time to not cause the little Inuzuka puppy any distress at a pack mate seemingly abandoning him.

"Secondly, we… the clan I mean, seem to have watchers we don't know about…"

"Pint-sized ANBU that follow you or Itachi-chan around when you have Sasuke-chan?"

"Yes? Do you know about it then?"

"I put them on it." The ANBU General finished her upper body exercise and moved into a kneeling position to look up at the wife of the Uchiha clan head. "Mikoto, those pint-sized ANBU? They're way too young for our life, I needed something somewhat important but not dangerous to sic them on for a few years. So baby clan heir guard duties, but there were more of them than baby heirs so you got a set of them too."

"Oh."

"Who spotted them? They had to be good, those little gakis can hide from even me if they wanted to."

"Itachi-kun did."

"Your little genius? Should've known he'd be able to do it." Natsumi thought about that, because that was a rather impressive feat to spot former _Ne_ operatives when they didn't want to be. Say what you would about Shimura Danzō's methods, but he had been one _hell_ of a shinobi and his handpicked troops reflected that. "Tell Itachi-chan that they're Natsu-oba-san's shadows she's lending out for baby guards, and tell Fugaku that he can ask me himself occasionally. I like him somewhat myself, he can be an awesome shinobi if a little stiff sometimes."

"Baby guards?" Mikoto repeated instead of commenting on that last statement, a small smirk on her face as the tension in her faded slightly. "Cute, Natsumi."

"The youngest is like… _seven_. The oldest is _fifteen_. I don't want to have to break them in order for them to survive ANBU life." The ANBU General sighed heavily, raking a slightly clawed hand through her mostly loose hair. "They'll eventually get swallowed up, don't get me wrong, just for now I'd rather they be doing something mostly innocent than get into the nasty business we tend to handle."

" _Seven?_ "

"Yeah… I can't tell you that story without the Sandaime-sama's permission. But seven."

Mikoto nodded, a little shakily but still. "I see. Thank you for clearing that up then."

Natsumi managed a slightly lopsided grin for her. "I have you babysitting my babysitters. Weird, right?"

"Sounds rather typical for the things you get up to, neko-chan."

"Hey."

"We would like to be informed, though, if you could."

"Informed?" Repeated the former assassin rather blankly, blinking up at her. "Mikoto? ANBU doesn't talk much to anyone but the Hokage. I don't think even Shika's noticed the guards yet, and I haven't told him."

The genjutsu mistress stared back. "But… you haven't?"

"You're the first to ask for clarification, actually. I was expecting it from the Hyūgas first," Natsumi gave that a dismissive shrug, "if they were confused, anyways. They usually check out the chakra etched tattoos and only ask if those aren't present. Aburames tag them and track them back to one of the entrances of ANBU HQ, Inuzukas memorize scents and recalls them when they lurk around, and most of the other clans have gotten into the habit of checking with that ANBU guard stationed at clan compound gates for confirmation if they notice either ANBU patrols or guarding shifts taking place."

She frowned, probably trying to wrap her mind around the information that the ANBU General didn't inform her husband of everything ANBU got up to.

"Speaking of, we never had this conversation and you still don't know about that seven-year-old thing. As far as you know, it's just a midget ANBU agent."

That caught the Matron of the Uchiha clan off guard, she blurted out a guilty sounding snicker before she could control herself. "Right, yes. Midget ANBU then."

The former assassin rolled her mismatched eyes at that.

"Still, thank you Natsumi."

"Sure. You going to head out? Tsume and Mayuko are out near the west end of the compound, sparring practice I think they said. The hime stated she was on chakra control exercises too, she should be somewhere near the kennels and that pond over there. I think she intended to melt the ice with katon jutsus first before attempting to water walk."

"Sparring sounds fine."

"Snare them both in a genjutsu for me, please. They didn't even leave me Kuromaru for help in watching the kids."

Mikoto's lips curled up into a wicked smirk at the request. "Of course."

\V/

Shikamaru knew perfectly well his father was missing.

He pouted every nap time dad didn't manage to drop what he was doing to swing by to coddle him for it, and that had been _before_ the war managed to pull Shikaku away from them.

"At least he got over trying to cry for tou-chan." Natsumi remarked quietly to Momo, a little tiredly.

The civilian, who managed both her baby and her husband's clan in his absence, gave the wife of the Nara clan head a similar weak smile. "Chouji-chan still does it when little Shikamaru-chan isn't around for nap times."

Cats purred both when they were happy and upset. Shikamaru did the same, so when he missed his father at nap time he purred to himself for the comfort or fussed for mom to do it for him.

A purring Maru-chan was practically the best way to put other babies to sleep, when he so sourly consented to doing if mom wasn't nearby, only Natsumi herself and her Summons could do it better. Being six months made him stronger than being three months, premature birth or not. He hadn't quite managed the repeating word sounds part of babyhood, but he could sit up if he wanted.

He almost never wanted to, but that was beside the point.

Three months ago Shikamaru's purr was a little vibration and almost inaudible, now it was audible at close range and sometimes made him a little cross eyed when he did it too long.

Eight-month-old Chouji was using her son as a purring teddy bear, ear pressed to Shikamaru's back as the purring lulled them both to sleep even without their fathers.

"So… I have a hypothetical question."

Natsumi blinked at her fellow mother. "Oh?"

"Yes… say one of your parents are worried you don't know how to run a shinobi clan, insists on attempting to help and won't take no for an answer." Momo suggested a little dryly, looking fairly annoyed to the kunoichi's expert eye.

"Well… which parent?"

"Err… tou-san?"

"Really? I kinda don't care at all for mine, he knocked my kaa-chan up and ran for it. I would-"

"No, then. Uhh… kaa-chan."

"Momo, you had five years to learn the ropes as Chouza's girlfriend. If informing them of that doesn't work, explain the situation to Chou-sama and ask for his help." The former assassin leaned forward to catch the civilian woman's eye. "Chouza had no problem leaving you in charge as he took on a new theater of war for Minato, because for some reason my kouhai wants to save Kiri from itself and we need the intelligence our husbands' team can gather. If your husband had no problem with leaving you the reigns of the Akimichi clan while he's gone, your parents should _not_ have any doubts. If he had any, Chou-sama would be in charge and not you."

She fiddled with her fingers uncertainly. "Is that what I should do?"

"I don't really know. I've never had that as a problem, Eri-kaa-chan actually asks me for help when she needs it."

Rolling that over in her head, the civilian could only shrug after a moment. "I'll talk to Chou-tou-sama then. Thank you."

"Sorry I can't help much more, I've never actually dealt with purely civilian families well the one time I had to. I've done those that were either mainly mixed or just taking on a civilian or two, if at all."

Momo merely grinned at her. "It's alright. You do try, which I think is really great of you."

"If you insist." Natsumi allowed with a measure of amusement, giving her a slight grin in return.

\V/

"Is he going to keep your eye coloring then, sensei?"

"Possibly. It doesn't look like he's losing either color, and if it hasn't by now he might just keep that."

Ibiki eyed her son and his mismatched eye coloring, ignoring that Shikamaru was giving the interrogator a nasty look of his own.

Natsumi's baby hadn't ever met her former students before in his life, they had been deployed well before she had been expected to give birth, and he was old enough to no longer ignore that there was strange people around he hadn't ever met. Instead, Shikamaru was rather grumpy at getting poked awake to see the two jōnin and two chūnin that made up Cell Nine.

She did wonder if he even recalled his own father, but that tended to get her depressed a bit.

The only reason why the former assassin's son wasn't getting irritable at these new people was because he was safely cradled in mom's arms, and Gai really was just that affable to not trigger baby crying with his normally enthusiastic behavior.

"How's Earth looking, anyways?"

"It's… eh." Nawaki could only really shrug, a slight frown on his face. "They're stalling, really. I suppose they might be hoping that we're too busy with invading Kiri to really focus on them, but they're not trying to take advantage of that either."

"Hiruzen-sama did inform them of why, they're sort of honor bound to wait it out right now. The moment we pull back out of Water they may end up trying something." Natsumi informed him dryly with a sigh. "It was part of why Shibi got sent out with you, foiling any attempts to sabotage or spy on our own defensive arrangement in Iwagakure no Sato's front yard."

"We did run into a few of those." Gai acknowledged, just as dry as his old jōnin-sensei. "Shibi-sama did not seem too pleased on those occasions."

Koichi snorted at all of them. "He didn't seem pleased at all, for that matter."

"Shibi has a year old baby heir, guys. Take a wild guess as to why he wasn't happy with getting deployed."

The four of them blinked at her, then looked down at the baby in mom's lap.

Shikamaru, who still got grumpy around naptime without dad magically appearing to nap with him, gave them all a flat stare back.

"Oh."

Ibiki snorted at Nawaki, who flushed lightly.

"Shut up. It's not like you knew that either."

Koichi grinned at his best friend, slightly evilly. "Nawaki, very sorry to tell you this, but we at least knew he was irritable. Taicho just filled in the blanks of why he was."

"He managed to annoy Shibi-sama, sensei." Gai told her in what should have been a quiet tone of voice, but again carried easily to his subordinates. "We still wonder how he managed that."

" _I_ wonder how you managed that. I go up to him and _poke_ him every time I see him, all the man does in return is stare at me for a moment." The Senju diplomat flushed deeper but stubbornly kept his mouth shut, Natsumi rolled her eyes at him. "Give it a month, then go apologize. Shibi doesn't hold grudges."

"Like you, sensei?"

"Shut up Ibiki, and go answer the door."

He glowered at her, but got up when a knock did sound on the Nara clan head's front door.

The former assassin was not surprised at her new guests. "Hey Shibi, Shiori-san. Shino-chan! I haven't seen you in a long while."

She did have to grin at them, because little Shino-chan was dressed up as a miniature of his father.

What was with shinobi and making their children dress up as a mini-me copy?

Shibi inspected her other guests, then little Shikamaru. Natsumi's son inspected him back just as blandly.

"May we impose on your availability, Natsumi?"

"Sure. How long do you need?"

"A few hours at most."

The ANBU General nodded, beckoning him and little Shino over to her. "I can do that. Have fun, Shibi."

Setting his son next to the kunoichi, the Aburame head gave her an incline of his head in acknowledgment before returning to his wife to lead her out.

Ibiki only waited for them to get a distance from the house before giving her a strange look.

"Assassin, former or not. Who would you want guarding your baby if you need a bit of time to yourself?"

"That wouldn't mean you're good with kids, taicho." Koichi opinioned from his impromptu staring contest with the little Aburame heir.

Natsumi privately bet little Shino would win that, even if he was without the glasses most of his clan tended to wear for now. "We also share a goddaughter, Koichi. He's watched me watch Hana-chan in her baby years too."

The oldest baby in the room tilted his head slightly, still staring at the former ANBU saboteur.

Her old rookie did in fact blink first, looking a little put out and unnerved by the intensity of the Aburame heir.

Now that baby Shino had proved himself superior to the chūnin, he looked around for his parents in this room of strange people. He turned big, scared eyes on the only one that looked even remotely sympathetic when he couldn't find them.

Shikamaru clumsily patted him on the arm from his spot in his mom's lap, offering the stuffed stag he had gotten from his jiji-sama a few months ago.

Shino accepted it with all due solemnity, hugging the thing to his chest and warily watching the rest of the shinobi in the room who were watching him.

Natsumi had to bite her lip in order not to laugh.

She had to wonder if her baby boy would ever get that back.

(ooo000ooo)

With her old students finally home, Natsumi had babysitters of her own to abuse in the times she didn't want to stick the grandparents or her friends with her baby.

Ibiki might have given her the holy grail of flat looks for getting Shikamaru shoved on him, but Gai had cheerfully agreed for the whole cell and got them all stuck with watching their old jōnin-sensei's son for her. Shikamaru had all but screamed at the seeming abandonment, making both Nawaki and Koichi cringe at the Nara heir's volume.

He didn't fuss often, but when he did it seemed as if he could shatter eardrums.

Master Tatsuo, the blacksmith Sakumo collaborated with to fashion her katana's blade, grinned widely at the former assassin that ducked into his shop. "Natsumi-sama! I was wondering when you would find the time to visit."

"I'm sorry it took me so long, but I bore Shikaku a son and little Maru-chan takes up a whole lot of time."

The civilian waved her apology away. "I heard, do not worry about that. I know perfectly well how much time a newborn takes up."

That was the first Natsumi had heard of him having a child. "Oh?"

"I have a daughter, myself." Tatsuo informed her proudly, taking the offered katana to inspect. "She's only just a few months from turning two, my little Tenten-chan."

The ANBU General blinked at him, then frowned slightly. "Tenten? I might have heard this before, the name sounds familiar anyways. Kashi-chan might have told me that before he left the village."

"With all that you shinobi do for us, and all I've heard about you in the last few years Natsumi-sama, I am not surprised you forgot." He gave her a wry grin as he pulled his masterwork out of it's sheath. "I am rather pleased you did hear before this."

"Sorry, really. Congratulations though. Will you train her up to take over for you?"

"I will give her the option, yes, but that is not something I wish to saddle my daughter with." Tatsuo told her, only slightly sadly. "A female blacksmith would have to struggle with establishing herself as respectable, even if Tenten-chan would be my only apprentice."

"Kick her over to us, then. We'll ensure she has a place."

He gave her a wry look for that, her attempting to recruit his daughter before she had even escaped the diaper part of babyhood. Natsumi just grinned back at him.

"A kunoichi blacksmith would be less odd, you know."

Tatsuo merely shook his head, lifting the katana he forged with Sakumo to check the curve and see if she had managed to kink the blade yet.

She hadn't yet, because that was one _durable_ sword she had, and it wasn't likely it would be now she retired from mission running… at least until someone else took up Sakumo's katana.

Preferably her son, if at all possible. Maybe even a daughter, if Shikaku gave her one.

\V/

Fugaku got shifted out to replace Shibi in Earth; Hizashi replaced his own brother in Lightning so he could come home and greet the newborn Hinata, the heiress of the Hyūga clan; but Natsumi didn't know who exchanged Cell Seven out in Water for Kakashi and his teammates to come home.

Midori cried, she was that happy to see her brother.

The toddler might not be speaking complete sentences yet, and just devolved into finger painting when the former assassin or her mother tried to teach her to hold a brush to write with, but she knew that the young man who had her hair color would drop anything for her and did so the moment he got home to play with her plushies instead of greeting his mother or crashing on his bed to sleep for a good few hours.

She probably wouldn't measure up to her prodigy elder brother in intelligence, but she had a bucketful more of creativity than him in place of that.

Kakashi quite frankly didn't give a damn, he maintained he got the smarts and his sister got the rest of the family skills.

Natsumi dryly asked where that left her in the family, the ass patted her on the head and claimed she was the pretty one.

Now taller than her or not, the former assassin gave him a sucker punch to the jaw for that.

Eri just sighed over their behavior, cradling a purring and fitfully napping Shikamaru. "Children, behave. Or Ri-chan is going to demand you let her do that too."

They both looked at the little girl, who was watching them intently.

Kakashi pulled his half facemask down, rubbing at the yellowing bruise on his jaw. "Don't do that, imouto-"

" _Nee!_ "

All three adults rolled their eyes at her.

"Ri-nee, it's naughty." He continued as if she hadn't demanded a different form of address.

"Don't look at me, that's all your fault." Natsumi ignored the wry stare he gave her as his little sister processed that.

Kakashi had taught Midori to call the former assassin Mi-nee, which made her want the tag as well before she understood what it was signifying. Her continued demand was all his problem to fix, if she had to be the one to explain what they were going to train Midori for well before the little daughter of her old taicho was of age to decide what she wanted to do herself.

He seemed to understand her stance on it even without being told, huffing at the ANBU General instead of needling her for not doing anything about that.

"How long until you have to go back, Kakashi-kun?"

"Maa… a few months, kaa-chan."

"Three or four?"

"Still only three, nee-chan." Kakashi gave them a boneless shrug. "Even if we were out there a little longer than usual."

"Yeah… are you actually going to follow that or are you and Obito-kun going to pick up missions again a month in?"

Her fellow kenjutsu user paused, thinking about it. "I don't know. Depends mostly on Rin, I guess. She said she wanted to put in more hours at the hospital, and without her it's just… eh."

"Tell me about it."

It was always awkward when a team broke up, even if only for a mission or two. Missing teammates was jarring for the remaining members, because their developed habits and quirks suddenly _didn't_ cover everything the team needed and adjusting to that was hard the first time. It was why Konohagakure tried to assign full teams to missions if at all possible, to keep that kind of thing from happening too often and killing some of their less experienced shinobi teams or cells before they could adapt to such things. Therefore it was much more likely to get someone added to a team instead of replaced temporarily, unless injury or unavoidable complications required you to pick up a temporary replacement for longer than a month or two.

That was part of why she encouraged Gai to pick up as many taijutsu styles as he could, he now could temporarily replace tai users that got put in the hospital without too much of that jarring happening for that injured or out of commission tai user's other teammates.

Cell Seven might have already experienced getting their jōnin-sensei taken away from them before Minato became the Hokage, but that might have just made it even more unlikely that they would consent to be broken up later on. The Yondaime probably greatly appreciated that, his old genin team continuing to watch each other's backs now that he would be mostly unable to do it for them.

Given how Team Seven started out, Natsumi was that close to declaring it a damn miracle.

Team Nine did almost everything they could to remain together until their jōnin leader couldn't lead their reformed Cell anymore. Unless a jōnin-sensei let the team go, that was usually what happened to jōnin track genin teams that survived their first years intact.

Midori got bored with nothing happening, shoving Shikamaru's plushy of a leopard Jiraiya somehow got hold of at Kakashi to play with.

The former assassin sighed and wondered if her son would end up keeping any of the little stuffed animals he had been presented with since his birth. Shino stole the stag, he refused to give it up when Shibi and Shiori came back to pick him up the night she watched him for his parents. Midori might not want to let the kitty go, she seemed to adore it more than her own baby did.

"So… _purring_ , nee-chan?"

"Kashi-chan, unless you want to try holding your own against me in a full out kenjutsu spar, shut up."

"But it's so _cute_."

"I have to agree with him, neko-chan." Eri calmly derailed any further arguments between her children, petting her first, and purring, grandchild as she did so. "It is cute of both you and little Maru-chan."

"I don't think Maru-chan will thank me for it a bit later on, Eri-kaa-chan. Shika already threatened to throttle my cats for it, and almost every time he does it around one of the other babies they tend to drool on him." Natsumi rubbed at her lips, trying not to smirk. "But it is adorable, isn't it?"

Kakashi waited until Midori got distracted with Shikamaru by Eri deciding to read them a storybook to ask about her eye.

"Chakra stain, or so Tsunade-sama said. I'm going to need your help with that, too."

"Oh?"

"Blindness is a problem when that happens, apparently. If when we spar and you note I tend to miss things coming at me from the right, tell me. Tsunade-sama said she could keep it from deteriorating if we catch it early."

"But you're not sure?"

Natsumi thought about it. "I'm still a little confused by what exactly happened that night it occurred, but it fits the symptoms and _is_ possible…"

He nodded thoughtfully in return. "Count on me, nee-chan."

"If only for the possibility of teasing me for being a baba, I'm sure."

"Of course. I would be appalled if you thought I had any other reason to help you out with that."

She gave him a level glare. "Assume I just called you a bad name, Kashi-chan."

"Your restraint is appreciated, Natsu-nee." Kakashi informed her cheerfully with a fanged grin. "Assume I am properly horrified at being called said bad name."

Eri had to put the book down to stifle her laugh at their conversation.

\V/

Natsumi knew perfectly well her husband and his team was out tracking down the possible Uchiha sighting in Water Country, but that didn't mean she dearly wished he would return well before their son started experimenting with sounds or trying to walk.

It also meant she was practically counting days until he returned, they should really only have another two months out there. It wasn't like Kirigakure would be able to mount an effective resistance, not with a rebel faction back by the Leaf and Kisame returning with two other Swordsmen of the Mist to pitch in just because.

In preparation of Shikaku's homecoming, she was starting to restock all of his favorites in the kitchen. Finding potatoes and snow peas in the middle of the spring thaw was a little tricky, but she did at least know where she could get some in a few months for his preferred nikujaga.

There was also the damn cherry preserves he refused to stop sneaking she should probably replace.

Shikamaru didn't like getting babysitters any better than he liked it the first time, but at least Obito had some experience in helping Kakashi and Eri with Midori and Rin was interested in the genetic eye coloring three generations of Natsumi's family had or has. The attention at least distracted him from mom's running to prevent him from crying at her leave taking.

If she had any more children, it wouldn't be likely they would inherit that. Complete Heterochromia was a rare genetic trait, it was slightly impressive it showed up three times already when Shikaku's Nara coloring was probably more dominant that her own.

Then again, with things like the Hatake silver hair and Nohara Rin's purple, _rectangle_ cheek markings being dominant genetic traits that were passed on despite what traits their other parent had, it was maybe just as likely all her children would have that eye coloring. It would be interesting to find out, anyways.

Fun too.

Natsumi carefully kept the smirk off her face as she was let into the Uchiha clan compound, giving the guards posted a nod in thanks and flashing the ANBU agent on duty an 'all clear' sign to keep him there.

She didn't know why, but the only cherry preserves Shikaku snuck was the ones made up by a lovely old woman on the edge of the Uchiha clan. Uchiha Madoka made up preserves and sold them to support herself, and while that massive amount of experience show in the quality of her preserves the former assassin actually preferred the ones Shibi's clan made up and gave out on special occasions.

Of course, that just meant Natsumi could keep the Aburame preserves for herself as long as she got Shikaku the one he preferred. Which, while the sneaking thing was slightly annoying, she didn't mind doing.

Now if he would only _tell_ her when he ran out.

It might be the early days of spring, but it was still cold enough that the ANBU General was wrapped up in a thick coat that covered her Nara clan jacket and kept her narrowed, mismatched eyes on the ground to keep the biting wind out of them.

That was probably why she got assumed to be random Uchiha kunoichi number three and not recognized as _not-Uchiha_.

As far as the ANBU General knew, the events of the night of the Yondaime son's birth had been declared an S-ranked secret until such time as they either figured out who the hell had sent the plant men and the Uchiha proxy or little Naruto-chan wanted to tell someone about his freeloader. Fugaku and Mikoto had been told, once Inoichi failed to get much out of the eye-less, bloody skull that was left after Fiona got through with the interloper that tried to murder Natsumi's otouto's small family.

More importantly, the head of the Uchiha clan had agreed with that after being given all the remains they could scrape up.

The leading Uchiha couple should have been the only Uchiha in Konohagakure no Sato that knew one however distant relation of his had been involved in that night.

"What do you think, Uchiha-san?"

Natsumi cracked her light blue eye open and gave the man a bland look. "I think I'm interested to know how you know an S-ranked secret only the Uchiha clan head and his wife should know of, and why you're discussing it in the middle of the day in a _street_ , of all things."

The Uchiha, who seemed to be dressed as any member of the clan tended to dress themselves, blanched.

He might have taken a step back, to run or fight or whatever he intended to do, but he didn't get far.

Yakumi and Naori, a couple Natsumi had only infrequently met before, stood behind him and gripped both arms before he could try anything.

Uchiha Yakumi was one of Fugaku's jōnin lieutenants in the Military Police force, he had actually started out running the station established just in front of the Nara clan compound back when the wife of the Nara clan head survived the assassination attempt on her life. Naori was a chūnin kunoichi who still ran missions, and was an ANBU agent by the name of Sparrow who was always respectful of Panther-sama.

Natsumi trusted them to ensure this Uchiha didn't get away or try to harm her, enough to bend forward to catch his eye and glare. "I think T&I, as well as the Yondaime himself, will be just as interested in the answer to that question. What I would like to know is how long you've been spreading misinformation, because there have been quite a few little misconceptions I've heard of from this clan over the years. I like Uchihas, and I'm not happy someone's been trying to sabotage them."

"Natsumi-sama." Yakumi muttered lowly, to catch the former assassin's attention. "What…?"

The ANBU General sighed and straightened up, to address the whole street. "Any concerns should be taken to Mikoto-sama, as she is fully briefed on the situation. We do not know for sure, therefore all of you should trust her or Fugaku-sama to handle it when we do know. As it is, you are not suspected of harboring rogue elements. This seems to be something external, long lost branch or stolen eyes or what have you, so rest easy. This should be the last you speak of it unless you address your clan head or his wife with any concerns. This is an S-ranked secret, please keep it that way."

Nara Natsumi was a familiar sight, seeing as she tended to wander in and out of their compound rather easily. Considering all she did was refer them to Fugaku's door if they had questions, the request was treated as an order and accepted as such. Although the shinobi side of the Uchiha clan could be prickly assholes when they wanted to be, they were in a civilian district and if Naori, one of their own kunoichi, nodded firmly in acceptance they would go with that.

"Breaking S-ranked secrecy as declared by the Yondaime, Yakumi-kun. Please alert Mikoto-sama, I'll grab the Yondaime to help figure out what else he should be charged with."

The MP nodded firmly, cuffing the man's wrists together.

"Be careful, as well. I don't know how he knew that, but I would like to know."

He paused at that, then dragged chakra suppressors out and attached those too.

Natsumi nodded, checking the sky for the general time. Shikamaru had never really liked her leaving, not since she got put in the hospital on him, and she should probably go pick her son up and then talk to Mikoto instead of buying the preserves she had been here for.

"Natsumi-sama?"

She gave her black ops subordinate a grin, flicking her ANBU code to get her to follow her fellow Uchiha and guard his back.

Sparrow nodded sharply to Panther-sama, following her boyfriend as they left.

Natsumi sighed heavily and resigned herself to picking up the preserves some other day.

(ooo000ooo)

Minato got summoned by Natsumi's hiraishin kunai instead, because it took her a while to convince Shikamaru to let her go.

"I don't think this is an emergency, sempai."

"It's enough of one that I'm alarmed, does that count?"

The Yondaime sighed but nodded to her point, turning to the current head of the Uchiha clan. "Mikoto, who is this anyways?"

"We do not know."

They stared at her, long enough so the usually serene and unflappable Uchiha kunoichi flushed slightly.

"His claims of belonging to the Kita district were proven false, and no one there recognizes an Uchiha by the name of Junji."

"We picked him up in the Minami one, though." Natsumi gave the man restrained in the Military Police Headquarters a contemplating look. "Think he claimed Kita just because it was farthest and therefore unlikely to be checked?"

"Possibly."

"Okay, this is the second time you've been taken advantage of because of your clan's size." Minato scowled at the same man his sister figure was considering. "We need to stich that up somehow."

Mikoto sighed at that, but her reaction was missed when the Yondaime turned to his ANBU General.

"Can you seal the compound?"

"Shika asked that once, but the power draw alone would probably kill me. Not even with you _and_ the hime would we realistically survive it."

"But that's your lethal security measures. What about one that just marks out non-residents?"

Natsumi tapped her carefully trimmed fingers to her lips as she thought about it. "Erm… depends on who else we have available. What do we want this to do?"

"Just something visible, a mark or something that would fade after leaving the Uchiha compound."

"Like what, a dot on the forehead? That's… a little… rude, don't you think?"

"How about a band around the wrist then?"

"Easily hid, that."

"Back of the hand?" Mikoto suggested after she recovered from that abrupt shift in topics.

"Fingerless gloves." Natsumi refuted easily. "Those are standard gear for ANBU anyways."

"Well, we wouldn't want ANBU to get outed like that." Minato rolled his eyes at her, shifting to rub his jawline as he thought about it more. "What about a band around the neck? High, like over the collar of those shirts most Uchiha wear."

"Mmm…"

"Back of the neck," the Uchiha genjutsu mistress suggested next, "easy to hide _and_ show if challenged."

She snapped her fingers. "That'll work. I'll get the hime to help, we'll have something in as little as a month for consideration, if at all possible."

The Yondaime nodded sharply, turning back to this latest upset in the village. "Right, so now this one."

"He is not Uchiha, no matter what he claims."

"You don't mind if we feed him to sempai's oldest student?"

" _Komushi?_ "

"No, Ibiki."

Natsumi blinked a few times. "Oh, right."

Minato rolled his eyes at her that time, turning back to Mikoto to hear her answer.

She could only shrug. "He is not one of ours, his presence is suspicious to say the least. I would have asked them to check him anyways since we cannot find any record of him."

"Next question, _is_ he genetically an Uchiha or not?"

All three of them inspected the man from behind the one way mirror.

Natsumi thought so, if only because they had already run into a rogue Uchiha member once before and Shikaku was supposedly hunting another.

The Uchiha Fiona had dealt with had both the eyes and the looks of one, this one seemed to just have the looks of one without the eyes or chakra coils of a shinobi member of the clan. That damn Uchiha that tried to release the Kyuubi no Youko might have been supremely unhelpful in confirming or denying the Madara suspicions; but his rather violent reaction when Panther and Jiraiya postulated how a seventy or eighty-year-old Madara might still be annoying everyone could have been confirmation or just irritation at their gossiping in his face instead of treating him like a threat.

She had to wonder if they would get anything of note from this one. If Madara had a lot of children to search for a good heir for his fucked up plans; those weaker ones might have been discarded or killed. Then again, it could just possibly a random Uchiha clansmen that had either been abducted or born outside the village who Madara and the plant men had caught and brainwashed into their way of thinking… or one of those missing Uchiha civilian spies from ANBU. They were still missing that one from way back when, and _Ne_ didn't have the records for Panther to be sure ROOT was the cause of that one.

Question of the day; where did Madara's revenge stop and Danzō's meddling begin? Was it before that one civilian ANBU spy got screwed over by a blank masked Dog, or was that afterwards?

Either way, he seemed to have been given tasks to irritate or mislead the Uchiha clan that cast Madara out into doing something supremely foolish.

Like say, think they were being continually slighted and marginalized by the village they defied him for and get them to contemplate a coup.

Danzō might have just taken advantage of that in another life, instead of catching it and solving the damn issue.

"Possibly, distantly if at all though." Natsumi finally suggested dryly. "But just because he looks like one doesn't exactly mean he is one."

"The hospital should be able to tell us, right?"

"DNA profiles aren't that accurate yet."

Both Minato and Mikoto blinked at her and spoke at the same time. " _Yet?_ "

"It'll get better, they just need a wider pool to test and compare to."

"But it will?" The Yondaime prompted after a moment.

"Possibly, if it remains rather popular. It just might, because it would be an easy way to prove or disprove supposed bastard children and identify suspects by blood they leave behind in crime scenes if the scent trails aren't intact enough for the trackers."

The Uchiha's Matron pursed her lips at the other kunoichi. "When were you going to mention that?"

"When it got better, or Tsunade-sama decided if she would keep the process and make it mandatory for all shinobi. As it is, we've got less than a fifth of the village marked out with that. It won't be much help to you and the MPs for another few years yet."

She accepted that easily, turning to knock on the door she had secured behind them so they could discuss the record-less Uchiha that had been caught spreading misinformation in her clan's compound. "Yakumi-san, take him to T&I and into the care of Morino Ibiki. Tell him his sensei said hello and she would like to know where this one came from, as well as his motivations for this little… rebellion of his."

"Sparrow!" Natsumi snapped out, ignoring the start Mikoto and Yakumi gave at her tone. "Follow and put some of Stag's guards on him. _Do not allow him to escape._ "

"Hai, Panther-sama." Naori nodded sharply, patting the MP Officer on the back to tell him she would be back momentarily.

Mikoto blinked a few times. "She's?"

"You never saw or heard that."

Sighing, the genjutsu mistress gave the former assassin a wry smile. "What was that, Natsumi? I don't think I heard you."

"Odd how that works, isn't it?"

"I've got paperwork waiting, ladies." Minato interrupted before that could go any farther. "Are we finished?"

"I am, Mikoto?"

"I have nothing more for you, Yondaime-sama."

"Not you too." Said Yondaime groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. " _Just_ Minato, please. I have enough people Yondaime-ing me."

"And, apparently, Hokage-ing him too." Natsumi chipped in brightly, following their cringing kage into the office section of the MP Headquarters to pick up her very grumpy son. "You should have heard him the first time I did it to him."

Mikoto gave a laugh, saving Sasuke from the MP rookies… or saving the poor rookies from Sasuke.

Given that even Shikamaru looked rather disgruntled with this series of events, at getting abandoned _again_ after mom picked him up from Cell Seven's watch, Natsumi wasn't going to bet on either option.

\V/

Shikaku got home a month early.

Natsumi was instantly suspicious as she sat upright on their bed, even if she was beyond happy to see him in the flesh. "You're not home for good, are you?"

He sighed, shifting their keenly curious son to the other side where he seemed to want to go. "I'm afraid not, Natsu. We ran into a bit of a roadblock and we're just back to pick up a few things before going back out for another month or so."

"That's not fair." She blinked a few times rapidly, because she _was not_ going to cry over that. Even if he just got home and managed to surprise her and their son out of a nap. "Hubby mine, what the heck do you need to pick up from the village you can't get… _Minato?_ "

"Yeah. We need an fūinjutsu master and some serious backup." Shikaku glanced over when Shikamaru managed to brace himself up enough to inspect the left side of his face, where two old scars still scored livid and curved lines into him. "The Yondaime fills both, wife of mine. Turns out their jinchūriki is none other than Yagura himself, which means we need something to both fight and contain that. So we've got the options of letting Terumī-san kill him and releasing the three-tails out into the sea or grabbing Minato and have him seal the bijuu into something for the time being."

Natsumi sighed heavily as their son started patting his father's face clumsily.

Shikamaru spent another moment to be sure, then he started crying as he hugged his no longer missing father around the neck.

"Remind him that Fiona's _gone_ , hubby mine. He _can't_ do the Dead Reaper Seal, and we no longer have a dead woman to do it for us."

"Yeah, I- … _what?_ " Shikaku, who had been rather distracted trying to figure out why their baby boy was crying, snapped his head around to stare at her instead of trying to comfort Shikamaru.

"Fiona? You know, that soul of a dead woman that became my Kurama kekkai genkai alter ego?" Natsumi waved a hand to indicate her now yellow right eye. "She's not here anymore… if even was in the first place. Either way, we can't do that cheat again."

"You remember?"

She blinked at him a few time. "Shika, we were locked in my head for the equivalent of _two days_. Yeah, I recall her showing up. I even had to argue for most of those two days to get her to help us."

He stared a moment, then started patting their son on the back in hopes that would calm him down. "So… _what_ was she?"

"That's still squicky. I'm not entirely sure if she was based on what I knew of my own past life or if she was wholly separate of me and was only just kicked awake somehow. Either way, for what she did for us I'm tempted to just say it was her and let her memory rest in peace." Natsumi couldn't really decide, either.

Fiona had wished to be forgotten as much as she could be, so that's what she would do. It was what Natsumi had wished far back when she had been physically three, under the sour realization of all she had loss and the crushing depression that came afterwards, heaped on top of the loneliness getting stuck in the orphanage had left her with. That had probably hit the dead soldier like a ton of bricks all at once, without the ANBU reconditioning and two decades of life to put between everything helping her cope with it all.

If she had more time to think of it, she would have probably stuck the reformed soldier's mental state into something similar to hers. That would have probably broke Fiona less than getting restarted right at the point Natsumi realized she had been killed. That was, if she had any control over that in the first place.

"You are probably the only one I know of who had to argue with yourself in order to save someone's life, wife mine."

"Yeah… you know what? Shut up, husband mine."

Shikamaru flatly refused when Shikaku tried to pry him off to see what was wrong with him, gripping his father even harder and almost wailing in the man's ear. "What in the heck, Maru-chan?"

"He missed you, silly." Natsumi gave him a tired grin. "I almost thought he wouldn't recognize you, but apparently he does enough to know you're the tou-chan he missed every time he was put down for a nap. It's going to suck when you leave again, Shika, he's not going to be happy."

He took that into account, stopping his attempts to get a look at Shikamaru and instead simply hugging the baby back. Their son gave up the screaming, but continued with the death grip on his father's neck as he sobbed.

"Aw hell, Natsu. I'm sorry."

"You know, it's been me everyone thought would swear in front of him but it turned out to be everyone but me swearing in front of him." She gave him a lopsided grin, laying back down and gesturing to the other side of their bed. "Do you have time for a nap?"

"I'm a Nara, I always have time for a nap." Shikaku claimed airy.

Shikamaru refused to give up the grip he had on his father until he fell asleep.

(ooo000ooo)

Natsumi had been right.

Shikaku might have gotten three days free, and spent most of that time reacquainting himself with his son, but the day he left Shikamaru kept looking for him.

When it sunk in, that dad was gone _again_ , their baby got more than a little grumpy.

She could only sigh at his betrayed little pout. "Trust me, kiddo. I know full well what you feel. At least tou-chan's coming home again… or at least he better be."

"My husband's going to be gone a fraction of the time, and I already miss him." Kushina confessed bitterly, giving Naruto the bottle to play with since it seemed as if he wanted to. Even if it was empty. "War deployments are supposed to be more fun than this. Kick some rear, explore a bit, camp out for a few months, then go home and rest up."

"It's only fun if you're not leaving anyone behind." Mikoto informed the both of them, a touch of regret coloring her own tone. "As you found, leaving children behind just turns it into a bitter experience."

"Right… before this gets anymore soppy, planning time ladies." Natsumi grabbed the nearest distraction, which happily was the very fūinjutsu design they were here to discuss. "Mikoto, does the Uchiha clan compound need any more room? Planning it in now is easier than amending the seals later."

"Our size for right now will work for the current generation, but we will need some more room in as little as a decade."

"There are apartment complexes just west of you…" Kushina cocked her head, looking over a basic copy of a Konohagakure map. "Who lives there?"

"A few small families, mostly."

The wife of the Yondaime, who had twiddled her thumbs for all of a week before throwing herself into some of the village's internal works once she knew she wouldn't be allowed to run missions anymore, nodded slowly. "We can shift them, probably."

"How?" The ANBU General asked her archly. "Mainly from what I've seen, most people rather resent being told to move."

"The former Kurama clan compound. Most of those homes are wrecks, we tell them if they fix it up for their first year's rent they can live there instead." The former jinchūriki shrugged, tapping her finger on the space marked out as the location they were discussing. "What remains of that clan didn't even inhabit even half of it all before they were disbanded, and even if Tsunade-sama declares the rest of those currently in the hospital helpless we can stick them in the main house and rent out the rest of them. We'd have to tear down the compound walls, but that's not too difficult."

Natsumi wrinkled her nose at the topic, staunchly ignoring the wary look Mikoto gave her for it.

"If that doesn't work, we can always give up Training Grounds Thirty-Eight to you."

"Thirty-Eight? What is that one?"

"It's sand, mostly. Not like there's really any need for that one."

"If we host Suna-nin, there is. I recall Komushi sneaking off to sit in that one a few times a month just because it was sandy and if he ignored how wet it was it was almost like being back in the desert at night."

Kushina bit her lip and thought a bit more. "Well, we can't do north, there's a clinic in there and closing one of those is all bad news. Especially for emergency reasons. South has the compound's gate and the start of the residential district, which would be even more difficult if we tried."

The former assassin thought it though. "Best scenario would have the hime talking to those families when asking them to move."

Mikoto frowned at her. "Why Kushina?"

"Because you're the Uchiha Matron and she's the Yondaime's hime. It's the difference of being told to move because you're in the way and being asked to move to help develop the village more." She almost looked insulted, right on up until Natsumi poked her in the stomach. "Don't even. We only just got the two of you talking, you are not allowed to get bitchy over this."

The ANBU General suddenly blinked, then slammed her head into Kushina's table they were crowded around. "Oh… oh heck."

"Yes! I am forgiven!" Crowed the redhead kunoichi loudly, punching a dainty fist into the air. "Ha! Take that, Natsumi. You _swore_ in front of your baby."

"Nu-ah. I might have sworn once, but you're on two hime. Everyone else is forgiven, not you."

"What! No!" She sank back into her seat, batting suspiciously wet eyes at the Nara kunoichi. "That's not nice."

Mikoto looked between them, then at their youngest children hanging out while their mothers plan out more security for the Uchiha clan. Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Naruto looked rather disturbed over what the Yondaime's wife had been so excited over, and were still warily watching her with wide eyes.

She had to huff a laugh, no matter how unwilling that was.

"Alright, back to topic. Please. Natsumi, can you explain that a bit better?"

"Err, sure. Sorry. It's like a land developer demanding a farming family move so they can make an onsen, if you ask. You might have reason for it, but as far as they can see you'd be booting them just because you can. The hime, on the other hand, is Minato's wife and he's like… way popular. She gives the request, they won't immediately suspect whoever would benefit just because and instead look into it if at all. We're going to take advantage of her Hokage connection to do this painlessly… hopefully."

The genjutsu mistress nodded slowly, a thoughtful look on her face. "Alright, I can see that."

Kushina fiddled with the paperwork they were looking over, giving her former best friend, hopefully not so former sometime soon, a wary look of her own. "So… if that's straightened out… this seal will still take a few of us if we add even more space. It's not as intensive like most of Natsumi's usual works, but it's also lesser in effect. We need to wait for Minato to return, at the very least. Probably for the war to stall out again, as well."

"What about Tsunade-sama and sensei?"

"You want to risk draining the Yondaime, the Head Medic, _and_ our Spymaster all at the same time?"

"Added to you, me, and possibly…"

Kushina raised an eyebrow at the trailing off. "Possibly?"

"An Ame-nin with massive chakra stores. I wonder if Kisame would mind lending us a hand. Nagato too."

She wrinkled her nose. "My cousin I can see, but Hoshigaki?"

"He's water natured like me, hime." Natsumi drew the fūinjutsu proposal she had worked out across the table to see it better. "If we get raiton, probably from Kashi-chan, we can do an elemental draw instead of simply natural chakra absorption. That would cut requirements down a whole lot."

"Doton from Jiraiya-sama, fūton from my husband, suiton from you, katon from me, and raiton from a Hatake?" Kushina considered that. "Diverse, that."

"Nagato and Tsunade-sama for stability while we do so, and Kisame's been called a tail-less tailed-beast so he's good for pure power."

"Will he help?"

"He wants me to do Kirigakure no Sato a favor once the war's over, so probably."

The Whirlpool Princess almost wiggled in her chair. "This will be awesome, like one of the massive Uzumaki works."

"We need a whole lot of prep time."

"Still will be awesome."

"I think I should be concerned." Mikoto opinioned, warily eyeing the plans the two fūinjutsu masters were pouring over. "What do you require from the clan, then?"

"A day out, really. When we're sealing the compound, it will be easier if no one is in there." Kushina shrugged at the look that earned her. "Then you need somewhere to put a master sigil, someplace still accessible so you can add residents as they are born into the seal matrix. That way if someone that isn't recognized by the fūinjutsu seal crosses the boundaries they will get a temporary mark of a leaf on the back of the neck."

"Restrict access for the first week or so," Natsumi chipped in, "while the seal builds up additional power to handle any massive influx of visitors to mark out. After the first rainstorm it'll be fine, though."

"And given we may just be into the rainy season when we're ready to put it up, it might not even take a week."

"Fall?" The Uchiha's Matron blurted out, looking rather surprised. "This has to wait until _fall?_ "

"Well, yes." The Nara kunoichi gestured to the sheer size of the Uchiha clan. "That is about three times more than I can safely seal alone, Mikoto. Even with Minato and the hime, we'd still be stretching it. Sensei added in would give us a very bad case of depletion at best, him and Tsunade-sama would be just at chakra exhaustion for all of us. But if we get Nagato and Kisame? Probably just a very tired feeling, if we can pull this off."

"It's… it's things like this that make me damn whoever it was that murdered off my clan." Kushina tacked on, tiredly rubbing at one jade colored eye. "You'd need all of five chūnin Uzumaki clan members to pull it off twenty years ago. Instead we're going to need _seven_ , only three of which can be even remotely called Uzumaki and four or five of which can be safely labeled as _kage-level_."

"And that doesn't include the sheer difficulty in getting all that power to work together and not implode." Natsumi finished sadly, leaning back from the table to stretch out her back. "Which will take at least a few weeks to work out if we can at all or not."

"Kisame is water, and Natsumi will handle that." Reassured the redheaded kunoichi, as the genjutsu mistress looked rather alarmed at that. "She's used to working with Minato, who's used to working with Kakashi-kun, Jiraiya-sama, and me. Jiraiya-sama's used to working with Tsunade-sama. Nagato is an Uzumaki, we have a predisposition to work together in our chakra natures. There might be some trouble getting it right the first few times, but that familiarity will only help. That's why she said we're going to work it out before attempting this."

Natsumi tapped her fingers to her lips. "I wonder if Komushi can make it out here to see it?"

"This would be more effective if you can figure out that Uzumaki carving thing too." Kushina informed her haughtily. "If you can do that, I'll invite your old apprentice."

"I've been trying for _years_ though, I still haven't made any headway in that."

She sighed sadly at that news. "Maybe it's just something we'll never see again, Natsumi."

"I'll get it one of these days, but knowing my luck it'll be the day I get fed up with it or try something stupid." The former assassin shrugged it off. "Ah well. So, plans to work on."

Kushina grabbed the paper with the village's layout on it. "I'll talk to the Council of Clans tomorrow, to get this started. Since it is repossessed clan land, we're going to need permission to turn it into simply residential housing."

"I suppose I'm stuck scripting five elemental seals to be tied into this fūinjutsu array." Natsumi sighed a bit herself, as if she didn't do enough paperwork already.

"I'll… umm…"

"Sit there and look pretty?"

Mikoto bestowed the ANBU General with a terrifyingly pleasant little smile. "I'm sorry, Natsumi. Can you repeat that?"

"Will you allow me a running head start if I do?"

Kushina giggled, which set off Naruto. Who probably didn't know what his mom thought was so funny but just wanted to laugh with her.

Sasuke seemed to sense everything adult was over with and demanded his mother's attention.

Shikamaru sighed at the whole thing, merely rolling over to continue to nap if at all possible. He might have given her a grumpy look for picking him up, but willingly held onto mom's fūinjutsu design if they at least left the Yondaime's home as it seemed they were doing.

\V/

Koichi bolted into her house, his younger brother hot on his heels.

Shikamaru looked pretty damn bewildered at getting suddenly picked up and shoved into the younger Sarutobi's arms.

Natsumi felt for him, really. She was a little bewildered what brought the two of them running for her as well.

"Taicho, we need some help." The ex-saboteur claimed, warily looking around.

What exactly he expected to find in the Nara clan head's study was a little beyond her as well. "With what?"

Koichi sank into the couch the former assassin usually lounged on when Shikaku had to deal with the clan's paperwork, Asuma following suite after hesitating a moment.

"So… you know how the Daimyo put out a call to replace some of the fallen Twelve Guardian Ninja after that latest assassination attempt? The one Bull's squad ended up foiling?"

"Yeah?"

"Asuma got an invitation to join… but we need a way to explain that to Otou-sama." He sheepishly scratched the back of his head, giving her a weak grin. "But… he already figured out Asuma's planning on pitching in there since he's filling in for the Yondaime for a month or so."

"So you're dumping this on _me?_ "

"You got him to accept me trying ANBU! I still have no idea _how_ you did that."

"I have no idea how she did that either." Asuma put in, still looking a little wary of his father's wrath even behind Natsumi's formidable seal work. "Just please do it again, please?"

"ANBU is a slight bit different than _moving out for a decade_." Natsumi informed the both of them rather archly, giving up on her fūinjutsu designs for the duration of this conversation. "Asuma-kun, you _do_ know if you do this you won't be coming back for a whole ten or so years, right? You have to be jōnin to leave the village for something like this and when you come back, you'll probably be shoved with a genin team right off the bat."

The Sarutobi wind user nodded with a sigh. "I know. But…"

"It's something you can do that won't be affected by your clan name, right?" The ANBU General rolled her mismatched eyes at his surprised look. "It's the same reasoning your aniki went in ANBU for, Asuma-kun. However, that was a whole lot closer than the capital and Hiruzen-sama could at least see him between missions."

He flushed at that point, scratching his cheek sheepishly. "Err, yeah. I got that. There's always letters, though."

"Asuma-kun, Hiruzen-sama's pretty much regretful over how little time he had to spend with you two over your childhoods. He _finally_ got a little more free time since passing the hat to someone else, and you're instead going to run off on him?"

"It's not like I will never come back." Asuma protested with a measure of confusion. "There will be a dozen of us, I'm guessing a few of us would get leave for a few week stretches."

"That is still majorly different than the war deployments, when we get a few good months free afterwards." Natsumi sighed at them. "But you're _not_ running from him, right?"

"Of course not."

"I am pleased to hear that." Hiruzen interjected from the doorway. "Now, may we discuss this calmly?"

The former assassin blandly ignored her old rookie's alarmed look, instead plucking her still vastly confused son out of the younger Sarutobi brother's arms. "I think we'll make lunch, Maru-chan. Oden sound good, gentlemen?"

(ooo000ooo)

"Just how long was he standing there anyways, taicho?"

"About the same time you decided Maru-chan would make a good meat shield." Natsumi informed her old subordinate easily.

Koichi flushed slightly at that reminder. "Err… yeah, sorry about that."

Hiruzen and Asuma were still talking, but Koichi didn't seem upset by what he had heard at the beginning and still seemed rather content to just watch her attempt to feed Shikamaru some kabocha puree. The oden was still cooking, she had the time to do it.

He didn't really seem to like it too much, but put up with it because she normally gave him some of the less chunky parts of the cherry preserves as dessert if he managed to eat what somewhat solid food she gave him.

Like father like son, why it _had_ to be the Uchiha made preserves and not anything else was still beyond her.

There was also the suspicion her baby was starting the dreaded teething part of babyhood, because the squash was on the cool side of too warm and he seemed to be actually chewing on it. Well, trying to at least.

Baby lips were not very flexible in keeping food were it should be, most of the food ended up on her son and not in his tummy.

Shikamaru would need a bath, after this.

It made Natsumi wonder if she should spring the money for one of the electric fridges available now, or if waiting a bit longer for a better model was the way to go. Icy cold things would help him a bit with the teething process, when it started getting swollen or his first tooth broke free of his gums. From what Momo informed her and Mayuko, teething was a horrible process for babies.

Her baby didn't seem too fussed with it just yet, he just chewed on his few remaining plushies when possible or fingers when not. His or mom's, it didn't matter a whole lot to him.

"So, what do you think this will end with?"

"If you're expecting a happy ending, you've gone to the wrong kunoichi." She gave up on the squash, he wasn't really eating it as much as gumming the death out of it. Shikamaru did eye her sternly until she grabbed the jar of cherry preserves for his reward for putting up with her trying to feed him semi-solid foods. "Hiruzen-sama really does want to spend time with you two, and Asuma-kun getting this done right _now_ will be disappointing to him."

"It's an honor to be invited to become one of the Twelve." Koichi pointed out, still watching her as she grabbed a new spoon for the preserves.

"Yeah, so is having the Sandaime Hokage as an otou-sama. You'd think you'd be proud of having him as it, not chaffing at the shadow he casts."

Her old rookie flushed a bit, frowning at that. "We are… it's just getting a good measure of our own skills without that shadow making it stretch more than we're good for."

"Koichi, you survived a _year_ as an ANBU _saboteur_. _No one_ has managed to do that, not even the last saboteur Konohagakure no Sato had." Natsumi reminded him rather dryly. "If that had to be what you used as a measuring stick and trying out for a position as one of the Twelve Guardian Ninja is Asuma-kun's, I shudder to think what Maru-chan will attempt to prove to himself he _is_ a good shinobi."

Shikamaru gripped the handle of the new spoon, guiding his treat into his mouth rather happily.

"Your son does have one heck of a legacy to live up to." The former Mongoose acknowledged, grinning when said son gave him a curious look in return for being spoken to. "That will be interesting."

"Hopefully he won't learn what I do for the village until he's about twenty, though I'm aware that's a bit unrealistic of me." She opinioned, only slightly sadly. "While I'm not ashamed or anything, ANBU is…"

"Screwed in the head?"

"That works."

"…does Kakashi know?"

"What taicho and I did for most of our careers?"

"Yeah."

Natsumi tilted her head, letting her neck crack since it was getting a little stiff. "I don't think he knows for sure yet… but he probably has a suspicion at the very least. I still call the honorable Sakumo-taicho… well, _taicho_ , and he's seen my ANBU tattoo before."

Koichi tapped a rhythm out on her counter with his fingers, a kind of ANBU gibberish meant to confuse anyone attempting to work out what certain patterns translated to. "You know he's probably planning on asking you to help him into it."

"Yeah, but not until he's sixteen at the earliest will I let him get into that life."

"I'll let him know."

Natsumi gave him a wry look, he merely grinned back.

"What? It's only another year at most, the major parts of the war will be over by then."

"And ANBU will get an upswing in nasty, backstabbing missions." The ANBU General informed her old squad mate blandly. "I've done this before, Koichi. Speaking of… guess what?"

"What?"

"You're a captain now, congrats."

The eldest Sarutobi brother blinked at her a few times. "I _retired_."

"Yep, but you still survived a year as a saboteur and that got you an automatic captaincy after the paperwork gets processed. Guess what _retired_ captains do."

He sighed heavily. "Really, taicho? You're going to stick me with some of that?"

"Hey, I let you leave before you formally made captain. Just so you didn't have to try to figure out how to train up another captain in order to get out." Natsumi poked him on the forehead, sticky squash coated fingers or not. "Be happy I let you squirm out of that much and help out with some of that unholy legion of paperwork we're trying to murder every day."

Pulling a face at that, whether over the sticky smear now on his face or for the imagery of demonic paper was up in the air, Koichi shrugged at her. "Alright."

Shikamaru, finished with sucking off all the cherry flavored jelly/syrup he could, threw the spoon on the floor.

Natsumi sighed at her baby, then again when her old rookie picked it up.

"What?"

Her baby boy took back the spoon and threw it again with a grin.

Koichi blinked at him. "Really?"

"He'll do that as long as you pick it up for him."

The officially chūnin ranked scout gave her a look, then gave Shikamaru an alarmed one when he started pouting at him.

"And if you pick it up for him, he will expect you to play 'pick this up' with him until he gets bored."

"… _now_ you tell me."

"You're the one who had to be ever so helpful. Sucks to be you."

Shikamaru sniffed miserably, Koichi sighed and picked the spoon back up again.

Natsumi laughed as he threw it yet again.

\V/

Namikaze Minato was the Yondaime Hokage for a reason.

He got the Kiri assault division returned to Konoha rather quickly, considering he spent all of a bare week in the field with the Ino-Shika-Chou Intelligence team before helping Terumī Mei take down Yagura and overthrow the more obstinate Mist shinobi that hadn't given a damn their kage was three sheets to the wind crazy. Exactly what happened to the three-tailed turtle demon that was Kirigakure no Sato's bijuu was only known to him and the new Mizukage, and would probably stay that way.

Most of the rest of the month had been helping the sixteen-year-old kunoichi firm up her hold on the Bloody Mist, and dealing with the first of the violent objections to her rule.

Minato also brought back a confirmation that Kisame would help out the fūinjutsu laying for the Uchiha clan in return for Natsumi actually going out to Kiri and helping them in a few years instead of Mei having to pay through the nose for that.

"It was stupidly easier than his royal furriness." Konohagakure's Yellow Flash informed his ANBU General, who rolled her ghost pale eyes at him.

"I would hope so, we don't exactly have living dead women just lying around to be sacrificed for that."

Minato nodded, a little hesitantly. "Shikaku told me you recalled that…"

Natsumi blinked at him, a little confused. "What?"

"She's… _gone_ , right?"

"As far as I know, yeah." The former assassin nodded slowly, thinking. "According to all the Kurama notes I've read about an alter ego, they're not supposed to go away after they manifest. They're supposed to lurk about, either in reality or in a user's subconscious. But Fiona's no longer part of me, or stubbornly ignoring everything just because she can. Either way, there have not been any dead ghosts hanging around for the last half year or so."

His shoulders slumped a bit. "Ah."

"What?"

"I wanted to ask… never mind." Minato shoved a hand through his hair, giving his desk a disinterested look. "Here's to hoping Ito-san's done his usual thing and processed this already."

"He's working out then?" Natsumi asked instead of asking what he wanted to know. He'd probably get shifty on her if she asked right out.

"Like a charm. Hiruzen-sama's a bit put out at you for that."

"And I'm very sorry, but he never told me it was a problem."

The Yondaime huffed at her. "Yeah well, you don't have to hear him grumble about it. Shouldn't you be with your husband?"

"Maru-chan caught sight of his tou-chan before I did, he's not going to let Shika go for anything. Not even kaa-chan." Natsumi grinned faintly, a little exasperated but mostly fond. "They're bonding in their alone time, and not just because he needed a change in diaper and I'm sick of the one doing it."

Minato started snickering, giving her a mock serious look for a whole second. "For shame, sempai. Dumping your heroically returned husband with baby diaper duty."

"Yes, bad me. Oh how shall I cope with said shame?" She actually gave that some thought, much to his amusement. "Rather well, now that I think about it."

He snorted at her, rubbing a hand over his face. "I shudder to think what the hime will do in revenge for getting pulled out of the village, now that I've seen what you've done to your own husband."

"Probably nothing quite so vindictive, honestly." The former assassin gave him a sharp grin. "I fed him some mashed version of the baked beans I made for you when you were sick a little before you all finally reached the gates. He likes them, but they do terrible things to him to say the least."

Clapping the hand that had been rubbing his face over his eyes instead, Minato tried hard not to laugh at the trouble his Jōnin Commander was probably in right then.

"Ask your question, kouhai."

He sighed at that, dropping the hand to both place a secrecy seal and look at her. "Did she like us at all? Fiona pretty much killed herself instead of getting to know us, and that seems…"

"Minato, you have to remember what she lost. For her the last time she closed her eyes her whole squad had been ambushed and killed, something she failed to prevent as their team leader. When she opened them again, she was less than a ghost attached to what could charitably be termed a cold-blooded murderer… or at least, that was the kindest thing she called me. Even with all that, the depression Inoichi had to condition me out of and the loneliness you pulled me from that hit her like a runaway doton jutsu, Fiona _still_ helped us out. It was just… a little much to expect her to be able to handle it all herself. I had all of you, and you all barely got me functioning enough for ANBU to finish the work you started."

Minato nodded to show he heard, but he was staring out over the village from his office window.

"Added to that, I used you to convince her."

"What?"

"My memories of you. I used that to convince her to help." Natsumi gave him a crooked grin. "She died again so Naru-chan could know his tou-chan, so the hime would have her husband, and so I'd still have you as my otouto. Fiona said you were probably the best hope we had, if our bloody world would have something even remotely resembling the peace she once knew in her childhood."

"Aa…" He floundered slightly, a pleased but embarrassed flush going up his face. "Well… good?"

"Kind of makes you feel guilty, right?" She rubbed at her right eye, which ached a little. It happened, and she was paranoid it was the degrading of the optic nerve that caused it.

"Should we… add her to the Memorial Stone?"

The ANBU General shrugged. "That's up to you, but she wasn't technically a kunoichi."

"She was KIA. Again, even."

"We can't have the Memorial Stone bear a name that's not even in our language."

"What did Fiona mean, then?"

"White, or fair."

The Yondaime nodded at that, pulling a sheet of paper over to him to write it down so it could be added. "Kōsei Shiro, then."

Natsumi gave him a bemused smile. "If you insist. That sounds male, though."

"Humor me."

She rolled her mismatched eyes, missing his slightly guilty flinch at his own words.

"So, did you find that Uchiha guy out there with the former Mizukage?"

"We got hints, but not whoever it was himself." Minato informed her, stretching out a little. "Shikaku thinks the black plant thing warned him, or one of the many white ones did it. Anyways, Tsume's next to leave and she'll be tasked with hunting what happened down. Mei-sama has given her permission to wander the breath and width of Water Country to find out."

"…she's not going alone, right?"

"Oh hell no… though Shibi might get slightly annoyed with me."

\V/

**Ten Years Later**

"Well, that's six different shades of creepy." Obito informed his teammates almost pleasantly while looking up at Hashirama's Artificial Body, which seemed to grow out of a very twisted looking tree that was completely subterranean.

"No one said Madara was at all sane, nee-chan even called him a crazy old coot once." Kakashi informed him cheerfully in return, stepping around the dismembered limbs of the damn plant men that seemed to love sprouting out of just about everything. The Sword of Kusanagi lopped a few more heads off as he went, because if you didn't remove the heads the white plants would try to continue to move. "And if _she's_ the one calling someone else crazy, you _know_ it has to be bad."

"Hurry it up, will you?" Rin asked almost in exasperation. "We're going to be late as it is. Torch the sucker and let's _go_."

"I thought this should have a little more formality to it." Their Uchiha teammate protested, swinging a hand to include the whole panorama of the underground they had investigated. "This was a mad old man's attempt to screw everyone over, which _almost_ worked."

Their kenjutsu master teammate used his legendary sword to decapitate yet another plant man, ignoring that the team's medic was pouring what looked and smelled to be an herbicide over the ground they had covered already. "Yeah… no. If we're late, I will never forgive you."

Obito flushed slightly. "I'm _always_ late!"

Rin whirled on him, placing her hands on her hips and glaring. " _We_ are _not_ , so hurry it up already."

He glared at them from behind his ever present goggles, taking a deep breath and forming the hand seal for his most violent katon jutsu. "Katon: _Gōryūka no Jutsu!_ "

The fire dragon's head he spewed out spiraled over and around the tree with eight hands, causing the whole thing to be set alight. The three of them had a moment to admire it, before Kakashi had a thought.

"These plant things are flammable, right?"

Rin blinked at him. "Supposedly… yeah. They're more plant than man, but even then they don't contain the same amount of water."

"And we just got finished dumping a lot of _flammable_ herbicide on the ground too?"

"I think I know where he's going with this." Obito claimed, looking at his feet and the liquid they had gathered while they had gone spelunking. "We should probably run."

The medic squeaked as she realized what the other two were talking about. "I didn't pack enough burn ointment for this!"

"Lesson learned, now let's go." Kakashi bolted back the way they had come, not needing to look to know his teammate were with him. "I blame you, Obito!"

"I blame whoever came up with this plan!"

"I blame you both, someone should have realized pouring flammable liquid inside a _cave_ then _starting a fire_ was _not_ a good idea!" Rin ducked what looked to be a root, ignoring that Obito vaulted over it instead. "No, I blame Kakashi! He's supposed to be the genius!"

Said genius huffed, mostly to himself, as he resealed the Legendary Grass-Cutter into the storage seal for it inked into his forearm nearly fifteen years ago when he won the sword from his sister. Then he grabbed his teammates and used the hiraishin kunai Raido and Genma had with them up on the surface to get them to a safer location. The two former ANBU agents blinked at the sudden reappearance of the jōnin they had been stuck with for this mission.

"Was it there?" Genma asked around his senbon.

"The black thing? No, he didn't show up." Kakashi allowed his unappreciative teammates hit the ground, sniffing at their grumblings for using the Yondaime's signature teleportation trick on them. "We found a whole nest of the white ones, though."

"Lit the suckers on fire, too." Obito boasted, wincing when Rin smacked him upside the head. "Ow… what I do this time?"

"What haven't you done is a better question."

"Is it pick on Obito day again? So soon?" The Hatake clan head rubbed his hands together. "And it's not even my birthday."

"You three are weird." Genma informed them all blandly, ignoring his long-time mission partner sighing over his blunt comment.

Obito snorted at him, readjusting his goggles. "You haven't seen anything yet, Genma. Give it a week, then call us weird."

\V/

"From what exploration we managed to do, all while being attacked mind you, there was the desiccated corpse of an old man attached to the statue thing."

"Kakashi… somewhat serious please. I've had enough of strange today."

"Oh?"

"Little Naru-chan managed to get his hands on the Forbidden Scroll, and learned the kage bunshin no jutsu before he was caught at it." Natsumi answered for the Yondaime, a strange grin affixed to her lips. "Given what his chakra levels are like, he can crank those out like no one's business. Kushina-hime is _aghast_ no one told her that was possible at his age, or that it's pretty much ideal for an Uzumaki's chakra stores instead of the standard E-ranked bunshin clone the academy prefers you to do."

Minato pinched the bridge of his nose, looking almost pained at the reminder.

Obito whistled, impressed. "Damn… Kakashi, you can do what? Five of those at most?"

" _Yes_." The silver haired shinobi gritted out, looking rather upset his old sensei's son managed to upstage him yet again. "Now shush, Obito. The adults are talking."

Rin sighed at them both, using a bit of iryou-nin jutsu in a way probably not intended to render the Uchiha on their team silent. "Kakashi, I'll do this to you as well if you do not _get on with it_. We're going to miss the beginning if you don't."

The Dog Summoner rolled his eyes at her, turning back to the Hokage and his ANBU General. "The corpse was given over to T&I, we lit it all on fire because we're mostly sure it was some kind of attempt to harvest the Mokuton kekkai genkai from the honorable Hashirama-sama. It had his face, anyways. The official count of the White Zetsu we managed to destroy is still pending upon Raido and Genma actually getting a look into the cave system under the Mountain's Graveyard."

"For the sake of brevity, good." Minato claimed, getting up from his desk chair. "We'll revisit this later, like preferably in an hour or two."

All but bouncing, Rin exited the Hokage's Office first, followed by her teammates. One of which was rather desperately trying to get her attention to un-paralyze his vocal cords and the other snickering over his misfortune.

Minato sighed heavily, shoving a hand through his blond, spiky hair. "Do you think she does it on purpose or is it just…?"

"Rin? I think she is doing it just to irritate him." Natsumi informed her kage dryly. "They _are_ dating, that just might be her getting back at him for some slight or another."

"Poor Kakashi's stuck in the middle of that."

"Poor my ass. He finds it amusing as all fuck." She refuted easily as he got up to follow his old students out of the Hokage's Tower complex. "Kashi-chan maintains he's going to be an eternal ji-chan, and leave the baby things to me and Midori-chan. I think he's just keen on avoiding the pregnancy hormones and baby messes, OCD little _bastard_."

"Eri-sama will not appreciate the slight on her honor."

"She knows perfectly well he's a bastard child too. She just managed to marry taicho shortly after his birth, which is why everyone forgets that."

Minato rolled his eyes at her, leading the way out of his office.

They did have an academy graduation to witness, which was why Natsumi let him get away with that one without needling him more.

The ANBU General let Kushina corral her husband and all but bodily drag him to the front to see their baby finally graduate the academy and become a genin, instead she wandered over to where her own husband had rather skillfully contained their five-year-old daughter.

Shikaina blinked wide brown eyes innocently up at mom, making Natsumi suspicious. "Alright, what did you do?"

"Someone decided your fūinjutsu ink was pretty… and poured it all out on the floor of the study before Eri-baa-chan caught her at it." Shikaku answered for their daughter, voice as dry as Suna's wind. "There's a very large splotch of wood stained black, which doesn't seem to want to be cleaned up."

"…that might be chakra burn, hubby mine. That ink did contain a fair bit."

The Jōnin Commander blinked at her, a twitch to his mouth. "So…?"

She sighed at him, thinking of how much fūinjutsu ink she had made up and what that would do if just poured out. "We're probably going to have to replace the floorboards. I'm not that good at that…"

Shikaku poked their daughter in the belly. "I believe you owe kaa-chan something, Aina-chan."

"Gomen?"

"Is that a question, Aina-chan, or a statement?" Natsumi asked archly.

Her baby girl wilted a bit. "Gomen, kaa-chan."

She would feel slightly bad about making her daughter cringe if the former assassin didn't know Ino had taught Shikaina all the best ways to get something out of her parents, like bat big eyes when she was in trouble with Shika-ji and pout cutely when she had to face Sumi-ba-chan for something. Mayuko merely laughed when Natsumi complained to her the first time, claiming it was Panther-sama's own fault for wanting a daughter.

"Right… well, Maru-nii should be almost done. You two wait here, I've got to go ask Kashi-chan for a favor."

Shikaina perked up at the mention of her brother, giving Shikaku a bit of trouble to keep her where he could see her and not into something that would make either parent cringe. He gave her an arch look over their daughter's head.

Natsumi merely beamed at him, leaving him to it and threading her way to where she could see the Hatake clan head's rooster mop of silver hair.

Obito waved two fingers at her, resigned to his girlfriend's excitement of waiting for the latest medics to graduate the academy to present themselves to her. Rin had been pitching in rather frequently for the chūnin iryou-nin Ryoko, who was getting a little on in years to be continually patching up ninja trainees. The former Horse was seriously contemplating giving up her day job and maybe tending a herb garden somewhere quiet.

Kakashi gave her a flat look. "No, I will not take on your gaki and his genin team."

"You can't do that anyways, Kashi-chan. You made me an official honorary Hatake, and I couldn't take you on as a genin even before that when I was still unofficial." The ANBU General gave him a flat look of her own back. "No, I need a different favor."

"Alright, what?"

"I need you to take on Minato's gaki and his genin team."

He stared at her.

"You already said 'alright', pick the new Team Seven up in a week." Natsumi grinned at him, patting her otouto on the cheek as she did so. "Thanks, Kashi-chan. We appreciate it."

His Uchiha teammate almost hit the ground, laughing hard enough he got shushed by his girlfriend.

"Oh come on, nee-chan! I don't want a team of gakis!"

"You are neither the head of a mid-sized or larger clan, nor the head of a department." She sniffed at him, mock seriously. "…or a medic. You _have_ to take one, at the very least. Obito-kun, I'd stop laughing or I'll stick _you_ with one this year too. You already have until next year to pick one yourself, the year after you're getting stuck with one."

Kakashi made a frustrated gesture, which also included an ANBU hand sign for 'clarification'. "Why me?"

"Tradition, honestly." She crossed her arms under her chest, not before flashing him 'protection' and 'guard', and smirked. "I did it for the Sandaime, guess what you're doing for the Yondaime."

He, Obito, and Rin might have tried ANBU themselves and gotten out a bare three years later; but they did still have ticks and habits that stayed with them ever since. That had made Natsumi depressed in a way, because that meant in his other life he probably had broken himself on their missions or in ANBU itself. The Hatake clan head was a prickly bastard, always sarcastically biting and a bit of an asshole as well, but if you stuck it out with him he would probably cheerfully _murder_ for you if you ever asked.

The one time Gai got into more trouble than he could handle, Kakashi was the one to bolt to his side and bail the taijutsu master out. All because the little Turtle SOS Summons her old genin student _adored_ so reached him first.

"You never really left, though."

"I was on the bench at the time, recovering from injury." She shrugged at him, a wry kind of twisted smirk on her lips. "Face it, Kashi-chan. You're going to be a jōnin-sensei, suck it up and get over it."

"Well… if I can't screw with _tradition_ , can I screw with their heads?"

"Of course. That's practically the best part of being a jōnin-sensei. You _have_ seen my Ibiki work, right? I'm _so_ proud of him."

Obito, who had probably only half followed the conversation, snapped his head around fast enough to crack it. "Natsumi-sama… _what_ are you telling him?"

"Fun things." She grinned at the suddenly pale and goggled Uchiha, flicking her fingers at the two shinobi in an ANBU gesture of thanks. Rin was still trying to warp reality by will power alone to see which of the trainees she helped train up did graduate or not. "I'll see you three later."

The ANBU General wound her way back through the throng of parents and academy trainee supports gathered to either celebrate or commiserate with their academy students, waving slightly to the newly promoted jōnin Midori and her boyfriend Uchiha Shisui.

 _That_ had been hilarious in spades, when Midori-chan presented her choice for a future husband to her brother for approval.

Kakashi took his irritation out on Obito, though, so while unnerved the shunshin specialist did at least escape that confrontation without much damage.

Whether or not the couple would survive the three years the Hatake clan head had wrangled out of his sister for any possible wedding would be interesting; because while Kakashi adored his beloved baby sister, Eri would greatly appreciate getting her silver haired grandchildren already if she already had one with mismatched eyes from Natsumi… and if Kakashi was trying to avoid the whole fatherhood thing, that left just Midori to appease their mother.

She didn't get more than halfway back to where she left her husband and daughter before she got ambushed, by her own old genin team themselves.

Koichi grinned at her, carefully skirting around so he didn't put her in his shadow. "Taicho! What a surprise to see you here."

"My son is graduating. Yes, quite the surprise." Natsumi grinned at Konohamaru, who was pretty content to keep his father between him and the crazy Nara kunoichi. "I think the question would be what are you all doing here?"

Gai fidgeted with his fingers, giving her a suspiciously overly shiny grin. "Sensei, may I ask a favor from you?"

"Oh?"

"Yes… Tenten-chan's kaa-san is… uh… no longer with us."

"She died a few _years_ ago, Gai, what…" Natsumi thought about it, blinking at him after a moment. "You want _me_ to talk to her?"

"My student requested, if I wished to help her, for a kunoichi to speak to." He gave her a thumbs up, and a 'good guy pose' he had once seriously asked about copyrighting.

The ANBU General nearly dented Kakashi's head for sticking that idea into Gai's head, and then again when the silver haired asshole decided to try and find the taijutsu master's limit for weird shit.

The green bodysuit and orange leg warmers? All Kakashi's fault… even if Gai decided he rather liked the look and kept up with it even after the expiration of the limit the kenjutsu master set.

"Alright then, bring her by and well go get tea while you bond with your other students." Natsumi glanced to the blanked faced Ibiki standing slightly behind his old teammate. "Did he really need this much backup to request my help with something?"

"He decided to do this right when we were _supposed_ to be catching up." The interrogator informed her blandly. "Then, of course, Koichi brought along his gaki and we couldn't do much of anything really fun."

"You know, you can have one of your own if you really wanted." The technically retired ANBU captain informed him archly in return for the slight against his son. "I'm pretty sure that kunoichi you work with, the one with the purple hair, wouldn't mind jumping into bed with you."

"Ooh… what's this now?"

Ibiki's face went as hard as stone, glaring at his old teammate. She sensed great blackmail material was afoot.

"Purple hair and in T&I? This wouldn't happen to be little Anko-chan, would it? Uchiha Mikoto's old kunoichi student?"

Natsumi's lips curved wickedly at his flat stare, one that might intimidate most of what passed through the Torture and Interrogation Department but not her or anyone else that knew the jōnin well.

"Alright, _fine._ I'll stop picking on you. Where's Nawaki, anyways?"

"Mission to Sunagakure no Sato." Koichi shrugged, scratching the side of his face. "Something about the trade route from Earth to Wind."

"Nice to know you care so much for your old teammates, Koichi-kun." Rolling her mismatched eyes at his admonishing look, she flapped a hand at Gai. "Bring your kunoichi student over in two or so days, but you really should be catching up with them. They _did_ set aside time to do the whole bonding thing with you, you know."

Koichi and Ibiki blinked at her, then cringed when Gai almost burst into tears for his unthinking slight against his old genin teammates. The vow to make up for it through physical strength training jolted the both of them into trying to find something to derail his attention on to.

Natsumi left them to it, pleased that the taijutsu master would get revenge on his fellow jōnin for not inviting her to their catching up day. She was _still_ their jōnin-sensei, no matter how old or skilled they were, she liked to know they were alive sometimes.

By the time she managed to relocate her husband and daughter, the academy had let out the newest graduates to the appreciative clutches of their families. Shikamaru glanced up at her with the same eye coloring he had been born with, quirking a wry smirk for her. "I did it, kaa-chan."

"I see that, Maru-kun." As he did copy her in wearing the hitai-ate of a Konohagakure shinobi, it was tied to his left bicep. "Now, you know perfectly well if you break your kaa-chan's heart by getting killed… I'll kick in the door to the Shinigami's realm and kill you myself, yes?"

Shikaku huffed a laugh at her. "No you won't. You'll lecture him to death about how sloppy he had to be to get killed in the first place."

"Point remains, he'll still be dead."

"Maa… I can just feel the love." Shikamaru rolled his eyes at them both, letting his little sister grip onto his arm to see the shiny and engraved metal that was so fussed over. When she started pulling on his arm, it was another thing entirely. "Imouto, what?"

Shikaina pouted at him, yanking on his left arm again. "Up."

"You're getting too old for that." Denied the Nara heir, but he did roll his eyes again and crouch so she could get a piggyback ride from him. "Happy now?"

"She won't ever take your 'no' seriously if you cave in so easily, Maru-kun." Natsumi informed her oldest child dryly, smirking. "If you keep doing that, she'll keep demanding to be carried even when you both are old and grey."

Shikamaru gave her a lazy look and a boneless shrug that made his little sister giggle. "It's less troublesome to just go with it."

"Tell me about it." Shikaku muttered, coughing and giving his wife a grin when she narrowed her eyes at him. "Yes, wife mine?"

"You still owe me another child, Shika."

He blinked at her. "We already have two."

"Three, hubby mine. You owe me three. Maru-kun, Aina-chan, and one more. Maru-kun popped my kidney and you missed most of his first year, he doesn't count."

"Thanks, kaa-chan." Their eldest informed her dryly. "I'm forever going to hear about that, aren't I?"

"Yes, get used to it."

Shikaku rubbed his scruffy jawline, frowning. "Wait, does that mean I owe you another gaki or two more?"

"Yes." Natsumi grinned at his look for her unhelpful comment.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Elephants and Oxpeckers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4803494) by [Opalalchemy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opalalchemy/pseuds/Opalalchemy)




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